How to punish your child for bullying

What Is Bullying | StopBullying.gov

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Types of Bullying
Where and When Bullying Happens
Frequency of Bullying

Types of Bullying

There are three types of bullying:

Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
- Teasing
- Name-calling
- Inappropriate sexual comments
- Taunting
- Threatening to cause harm
Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
- Leaving someone out on purpose
- Telling other children not to be friends with someone
- Spreading rumors about someone
- Embarrassing someone in public
Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
- Hitting/kicking/pinching
- Spitting
- Tripping/pushing
- Taking or breaking someone’s things
- Making mean or rude hand gestures

Where and When Bullying Happens

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or the bus. It can also happen travelling to or from school, in the youth’s neighborhood, or on the Internet.

Frequency of Bullying

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:

The 2019 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) indicates that, nationwide, about 22% of students ages 12–18 experienced bullying.
The 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that, nationwide, 19.5% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property in the 12 months preceding the survey.

How to Prevent Bullying | StopBullying.gov

Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can:

Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.
Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.
Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.
Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.

Help Kids Understand Bullying

Kids who know what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens.
Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully. Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away
Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.
Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help.
Watch the short webisodes and discuss them - PDF with kids.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Research tells us that children really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Sometimes spending 15 minutes a day talking can reassure kids that they can talk to their parents if they have a problem. Start conversations about daily life and feelings with questions like these:

What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things?
What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about?
What is it like to ride the school bus?
What are you good at? What would do you like best about yourself?

Talking about bullying directly is an important step in understanding how the issue might be affecting kids. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but it is important to encourage kids to answer them honestly. Assure kids that they are not alone in addressing any problems that arise. Start conversations about bullying with questions like these:

What does “bullying” mean to you?
Describe what kids who bully are like. Why do you think people bully?
Who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?
Have you ever felt scared to go to school because you were afraid of bullying? What ways have you tried to change it?
What do you think parents can do to help stop bullying?
Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose? Do you think that was bullying? Why or why not?
What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?
Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? How does it make you feel?
Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Get more ideas for talking with children - PDF about life and about bullying. If concerns come up, be sure to respond.

There are simple ways that parents and caregivers can keep up-to-date with kids’ lives.

Read class newsletters and school flyers. Talk about them at home.
Check the school website
Go to school events
Greet the bus driver
Meet teachers and counselors at “Back to School” night or reach out by email
Share phone numbers with other kids’ parents

Teachers and school staff also have a role to play.

Encourage Kids to Do What They Love

Help kids take part in activities, interests, and hobbies they like. Kids can volunteer, play sports, sing in a chorus, or join a youth group or school club. These activities give kids a chance to have fun and meet others with the same interests. They can build confidence and friendships that help protect kids from bullying.

Model How to Treat Others with Kindness and Respect

Kids learn from adults’ actions. By treating others with kindness and respect, adults show the kids in their lives that there is no place for bullying. Even if it seems like they are not paying attention, kids are watching how adults manage stress and conflict, as well as how they treat their friends, colleagues, and families.

how to deal with it with the help of the law?

Unfortunately, school bullying is more common than it seems. Society has long been talking about the need to introduce a separate article into the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation that imposes penalties for school bullying. However, there is no such article yet. However, this does not mean that the instigators of persecution cannot be held accountable. Let's try to figure out what articles and laws stand up to protect the rights of those who are bullied at school.

Bullying means systematic psychological or physical pressure on the victim, it can be both threats, insults, ridicule and blackmail, as well as beating, but if the aggressor can be held accountable for beating, then it is much more difficult to deal with emotional bullying at the level of the law .

One of the main obstacles to punishing the aggressors is their age. According to the legislation of the Russian Federation, criminal liability comes from the age of 16, in the case of serious crimes - from the age of 14, but emotional pressure does not fall under this category.

Previously, the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation had an article “Insult”, but now it has lost its force. But the article “Slander” remains, which can be applied in cases where, for example, the instigators of persecution spread false rumors about your child. If you can prove this in court, then the school administration or the parents or other legal representatives of the perpetrator will be liable for libel.

If your child is threatened, and the threats can be very different, you need to try to assess their reality and immediately notify the class teacher or the person who replaces him. It is almost impossible to bring a minor to justice for threats, but this is not a reason for inaction on the part of teachers. It is the school that is responsible not only for teaching, but also for the formation of an appropriate climate and atmosphere. If the threats are frankly cruel and dangerous, it will not be superfluous to notify the school psychologist (if any), and the management of the educational institution. Inaction on their part is severely punished, that is, if teachers and administration and schools do not eliminate the conflict, they can be held accountable.

If you cannot find support from the school administration in resolving such situations, you must contact higher authorities (department or department of education, regional ministry of education) and even the prosecutor's office, but you should be prepared for the fact that you will have to prove your case and provide evidence of the inaction of the principal and teachers. If it is proved that the school administration is inactive, and bullying does not stop, then teachers and the director may incur disciplinary, civil, administrative and even criminal liability. Disciplinary measures include remarks, reprimands, dismissals; to civil law - compensation for moral and material damage, to administrative - fines.

The same applies to situations where peers extort something or try to take something by force from your child. Such situations can have a dangerous continuation and the intervention of elders (teachers, administration) is necessary. Unfortunately, it is also very difficult, almost impossible, to bring a young extortionist to justice, but teachers and parents are obliged to deal with him.

Unfortunately, it often happens that psychological violence turns into physical violence and the victim, in the truest sense of the word, begins to be beaten. In this case, as mentioned above, it will be easier to bring the aggressor to justice. However, if one student inflicted minor beatings on another student, then he will be liable for this according to the law only if he is already 16 years old.

The punishment for insulting a minor child is determined by the court, guided by the composition of the offense and the provisions of Art. 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. Criminal liability for insulting a minor does not occur, provided that the consequences of the offense did not lead to loss of health, life of the injured party.

It is important to note that if the child was beaten once, then the crime will be qualified as “Beating”, and if this happens systematically, then “Torture”.

So, if your child was hit in an educational institution, you need to examine the beatings in the emergency room, and then write a statement to the police department (if you want to bring the aggressor to criminal liability) or go to civil court (if compensation for moral and material damage is enough for you) .

If the victim suffered minor harm, then, most likely, the commission on juvenile affairs will deal with the parents of the aggressor: administrative punishment will be imposed on adults, the whole family will be checked, and the minor himself will be registered. The school administration is also awaiting verification. If a statement is written and beatings are recorded, the director and teachers will not be able to “hush up” the situation.

Summing up, let us once again explain that bullying at school is a complex problem and has not yet been formalized legally, so it will be difficult, almost impossible, to punish aggressors with the help of the law. However, his parents and the school administration can be held accountable. The most effective method is the psychological protection of the child. You can find out how to teach him to properly respond to offenders and resist the instigators of bullying on our website.

Ivan Dolgov

how to identify and what to do

Dmitry Sergeev

experienced bullying myself and helped others to survive

Author profile

Once upon a time I myself was a victim of bullying. True, they didn’t know such a word then, but bullying did happen in schools.

I first encountered bullying back in the 80s. And in my case, teachers took an active part. As a result, after the eighth grade, I had to leave school. Then I graduated from a technical school, an institute and returned to the same school as a teacher. The main thing that I understood is that it is possible and necessary to protect your own or someone else's child from bullying.

The topic of child abuse is complex and can only be solved in a complex way: with the help of teachers, psychologists, parents, children themselves, and sometimes law enforcement agencies. I will tell you how bullying is interpreted from the point of view of the law and what to do about it.

What you learn about

What is bullying
Who can become a victim and who can initiate
How adults get involved in bullying
What bullying looks like
Why bullying is difficult to deal with
What to do if your child is bullied
Should you be afraid that teachers will change their attitude towards your child
Should you transfer your child to another school

How to raise children and not go broke

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What is bullying

Bullying comes from the English bullying - intimidation. This is a household term - it is not enshrined in laws or school documents, but it is used by parents, teachers, and psychologists.

This is the name of the form of interaction when some children create an intolerable environment for other children. For example, when a bully in the class, taking advantage of his physical superiority, "bulls" and regularly pesters weaker peers.

/school-problems/

How do I protect the rights of my children at school

A situation can be regarded as bullying only when it occurs on a systematic basis and for a sufficiently long time. So, if two children had a fight and then reconciled, this is not considered bullying. But if beatings or psychological pressure are repeated, then yes.

Who can become a victim and who can be an initiator

Any child can become both a victim and an initiator. There may be no rational and logically understandable reasons at all - a formal reason for persecution, for example, may be curly hair, too large or small height, nationality. As well as abstract signs - the surname, the profession of the parents, or even an accidentally given offensive nickname.

Many people think that the problem disappears with the end of kindergarten or school, but this is not always the case. Persecution may not disappear completely - only their names and specific features change. In the army, this is called hazing, among colleagues - mobbing, in the family - abuse. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that the victim of bullying will become a victim of abuse when he grows up - it happens the other way around.

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Roles can change even in the process of growing up. For example, in elementary school, the child was a victim, but then the team changed, and the child begins to assert himself according to an already familiar pattern - only in the role of the initiator of violence.

Bullying, unlike ordinary conflict, is always a collective phenomenon, and there are no selfish motives in it. I'll explain with an example.

If a high school student takes pocket money from weaker students after class, then this is not bullying. After all, the motive here is enrichment, and witnesses in this case are useless. From the point of view of the law, we are talking about robbery - open theft of property.

Art. 161 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation

At the same time, bullying does not have the goal of enriching itself at the expense of the victim, although sometimes it comes to this. The main motive is self-affirmation, and without spectators it does not work - there is no point in proving your superiority when no one sees. Therefore, everyone will be involved in bullying: it is not necessary to attack with the whole class, but some of the spectators will cheer on the bully, others will silently observe.

"They dragged us through the whole class so that we could see"

Ksenia Petrova

was a witness to bullying

Author profile

I remember that bullying started around grade three among boys, when there was a clear division into A students and C students. Our class was strong, 22 boys, only three of them did not study very well, and they got it. Surprisingly, the nerds were the biggest bullies: they started fights, usually by mocking failures during lessons. Periodically fought after school and during breaks.

One episode stuck in my memory. There were only six of us with other girls, we did not interfere and stayed away, but it was already too much. They pulled off one boy's trousers to the shoes along with his shorts, grabbed his arms and legs and dragged him through the whole class so that we could see. Some smiled, but most were not at all funny.

There were no adults, the boy did not complain to anyone. Complaining 20 years ago was generally not accepted, it was shame and disgrace, which ended in even more bullying and transfer to another class or even school. I also observed this.

With each class the bullying faded away, and after the ninth grade I don't remember anyone being bullied. Everyone was so busy that they were divided into friends and there were no indifferent, aggressive people left.

That boy grew up and became a weightlifter, he has a beautiful girlfriend, maybe already a wife. It's hard to believe that he was once the most harassed in the class. Botanists also became successful people, some entered Baumanka, some entered the oil and gas industries. I wonder if they remember what they did and if they are ashamed ...

How adults participate in bullying

Parents, relatives, and even school teachers are often role models for bullying initiators.

For example, children do not have the concept of subordination and subordination structure. And if a teacher scolded an untidy student several times in front of everyone, other children may take this as a guide to action. At the same time, children have no internal constraints, and the "educational" process often turns into bullying.

Another example: a child in a family observes how parents insult each other, and transfers this behavior pattern to his class. There are no restrictions here either - if you can do it at home, then you can do it at school. And then this behavior spreads like a virus: classmates copy it.

Relatives may also be directly involved in children's conflicts. So, in July 2022, in the Krasnoyarsk Territory, a 36-year-old man beat teenagers who offended his son. As a result, one of the victims ended up in the hospital. The man is now facing criminal charges.

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There are situations when the participants in bullying are teachers. And sometimes on purpose. For example, if the child's parents have a difficult relationship with the teacher, he may not notice the attacks on this student or directly provoke them: it is enough to periodically chastise the child in front of the whole class. If this is done systematically, the class will sooner or later copy the teacher.

Sometimes the so-called principle of collective responsibility leads to bullying - when the whole team is punished for the misdeeds of one person. It is clear that in this case everyone becomes angry at the violator. At the same time, teachers may assume that the children will figure it out among themselves. So it happens, only the forms of "trials" can be quite cruel.

What leads to the appearance and continuation of bullying

Olga Viktorova

psychologist of DocDeti and DocMed clinics

Bullying does not necessarily occur in any team, but it can appear where there are suitable conditions. Most often, they lie in the politics and actions of adults: indifference to what is happening between children, maintaining toxic relationships - pets, outcasts, and the like. As well as the lack of involvement in what is happening and ignoring conflicts.

Any child can become a victim of bullying, you do not need to have something outstanding for this. The authors of bullying are more often unheard children, who are somewhere under the same pressure, perhaps wanting to show power and attract attention.

If your child is the instigator of bullying, the main thing is not to ignore such actions. Empathetic relationships, allowing the child to express feelings, having a reasonable freedom of choice and the ability to manage his life - the usual postulates of an adequate parental approach will be useful here too.

If we talk about the work of a psychologist, then it will be effective in general with the team where bullying occurs. But it can also be effective with individual participants. At the same time, the involvement of teachers and parents in this work is also important. Thanks to this, bullying participants can leave their roles and continue to successfully be in the same team.

What bullying looks like

Technically, bullying in kindergarten or elementary school almost always, with rare exceptions, begins with a formal violation.

It can be real, for example, when a student is late for class. Or it can be fictional - the child is distinguished by clothes, gait, hair color. On this basis, bullying is born.

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In such a situation, the initiators of bullying sincerely believe that with the help of a fictitious pretext they restore order and establish discipline. At the same time, the victim perceives that she is being punished for something real.

This is why victims rarely turn to adults for help. The logic here is this: yesterday the teacher scolded for misconduct, today classmates. Why go to your parents and talk about conflicts, because they will almost certainly also reprimand for it.

Hiding bullying from classmates is one of the ways a child can protect himself. He is ineffective, but the child usually does not know this. And when bullying becomes systematic, the child out of habit will choose this particular method of protection.

Why bullying is difficult to deal with

The initiators and participants of bullying are as minors as the victim. According to the law, a person under the age of 16 cannot be brought to administrative responsibility.

Art. 2.3 of the Code of Administrative Violations

You can also be held criminally liable only from the age of 16, with the exception of some articles - for example, for murder, kidnapping, intentional infliction of serious or moderate harm to health. For these crimes, criminal liability is from the age of 14.

Also, for violation of the charter and internal regulations of the educational institution, disciplinary measures may be applied to the student - a remark, reprimand and expulsion.

Part 4, 5 Art. 43 Federal Law on Education

For many hooligans, such measures are empty words. Some will be affected, some will not. In addition, even disciplinary punishments cannot be applied to preschoolers, primary school students and children with health limitations - for example, with mental retardation.

Therefore, pushing, spitting, light beatings and other violations for which an adult can be held accountable are almost never threatened by children. Here, even a statement to the police will not help: if the age of the perpetrator does not allow him to be punished, the proceedings will be terminated.

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Compensation for the damage caused, for example, for a broken phone, a torn textbook, clothes, as well as compensation for moral damage, is also not easy. Damage caused to minors under 14 years of age shall be compensated by parents, adoptive parents or guardians. But if a minor caused harm during the time when he was under the supervision of an educational organization, then the school is responsible for this.

Art. 1073 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation

For example, if the teacher knew that the child was being bullied, but did nothing to stop it, hid it from the parents or the administration, answer the school. True, it will be difficult to prove the teacher’s guilt: in the case of bullying, the school administration often does not recognize the problem and tries to slow down the situation. Parents are explained that it's okay - the children just quarrel and put up. And if they do fight, it's outside the school gates.

The school does not want to be responsible for your children, so teachers will do everything to prove their innocence. I will tell you below how best to proceed in this case.

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And then there are a bunch of bullying elements for which, in principle, there can be no responsibility. These include, for example:

taunts. It is impossible to punish for making fun of a child or teasing him in an ironic way;
boycott, or restriction of communication. When a group of children stopped communicating with one of their peers, they cannot be punished for this, because communication is a voluntary matter;
Complaints to the teacher about another student and "squealing" - both on far-fetched pretexts and real ones. Sometimes teachers even encourage it.

In general, do not expect the situation to be easily resolved.

What to do if a child has experienced bullying

To fight bullying, you need to learn about it. It's not easy. Children are reluctant to talk about being a victim, they may deliberately hide it from their parents. Or vice versa - to talk about bullying as a completely ordinary fact, not to show that it upsets or offends them. Witnesses can also perceive the situation as normal: as a result, adults simply do not know that something is wrong with the children.

It is important to be interested in school affairs and pay attention to details: if a child trusts his parents, sooner or later he will tell about everything.

Do not try to solve the problem with violence. Punishing someone else's child is a bad idea. And for physical impact, they can be held criminally liable.

The punishment will depend on the severity of the harm caused to health, and the age of the victim will become an aggravating circumstance. For example, for causing grievous bodily harm to a child under 14 years of age, one can be imprisoned for up to 10 years.

Art. 111-116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation

Even if you simply inflict physical pain on someone else's child, they can be charged under article 6.1.1 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. Possible sanctions:

fine from 5,000 to 30,000 R;
administrative arrest from 10 to 15 days;
compulsory work from 60 to 120 hours.

Remarks to other people's children also do not always work. For an outsider, you are a person without rights and powers, and he is not obliged to obey you. And even if he obeys, it is not a fact that the situation will change. After all, bullying is usually extended in time and space: it can occur in the classroom, near the school, and even in the courtyard of the house if classmates live in the neighborhood. After a conversation with the offender, aggression may subside for a while, and after some time resume.

But you need to talk to the offender's parents and teachers.

If you find out about bullying, don't be silent. Even if the bullying does not directly concern your child, but he is only a witness, be sure to inform the parents of the victim and school teachers. It is not beneficial for you to remain silent - because today your child is just a witness, and tomorrow he himself may become a victim.

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It is also worth talking to the parents of the aggressors. You can do this in person or in a parent chat. But don't expect an adequate response in the style of "I'll figure it out and punish him." Parents usually answer that their child is not like that and could not do that - it's yours who makes it all up. But it is highly likely that the parents of the offender will ask him and ask unpleasant questions - sometimes this is enough to stop the aggression.

Verbal communication with the school is usually ineffective. It is unprofitable for the school to admit the facts of bullying - after all, parents can try to recover damages. Therefore, teachers will evade the answer, or they will assure that they will figure it out and take action, but nothing will be done.

Therefore, I recommend that you make a written application addressed to the principal, for example:

You can submit the application to the school office, ask them to register and tell you the incoming number. But if you are afraid that you will be refused, you can use the registered mail service of the Russian Post. You will need to register on the public services website.

Such a letter is considered equivalent to a hand-signed letter sent by e-mail, and the fact of sending can be confirmed even in court.

When sending a letter, select the school address and enter your home address. If you do not have a printer, the paper version is not required.

Click on the "Create a letter" button - the mail will print it out and deliver it itself The rules for working with such appeals are the same for the whole country, and there are no exceptions for the school. The administration usually has no more than 30 days to consider and take action.

There are no guarantees that they will not give a simple reply. But any unsubscribe and refusal can be appealed. But in practice, complaints to the prosecutor's office or the department of education usually do not reach - everything is decided at the level of the educational institution, especially if the administration sees that the parents are serious.

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How to properly file a complaint with any agency

Gather as much information and evidence as possible. Bullying is always collective, and each participant has his own role and place. School teachers often punish participants of bullying on the principle of collective responsibility - everyone equally. This scheme does not work well, because some of the children will feel unfairly punished, and bullying will start all over again.

To avoid this, the school administration must clearly distinguish the roles of each participant, and the punishment should depend on this. For example, call observers of bullying for a preventive conversation, and raise the question of expulsion to the initiator.

If you have video or audio recordings, please provide them to the school administration. If the child was physically injured, remove the beatings in the emergency room. If material damage has been caused, do not be afraid to make claims for its compensation. You can present them both to the school and to the parents of the perpetrators.

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Will teachers change their attitude towards the child after complaints

Parents often worry that teachers will treat their child worse, but this should not be feared. I have repeatedly helped parents to protect the interests of children in educational institutions. Sometimes the issue was resolved at the level of administration, sometimes at the level of the prosecutor's office. But in all cases, the administration began to treat such a child like a crystal vase - carefully and with respect for all rights.

The logic here is that if the parents weren't afraid to go to the prosecutor's office once, they won't be afraid the second time either. And in the third, and in the fourth. And not every director can withstand such a number of checks. Yes, and it may turn out that they will look for some violations and in the process they will find others.

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Therefore, no one will touch your child. Treating such children badly is more expensive for yourself.

Should I transfer to another school

There is a possibility that this will help - there may be a healthier atmosphere in another team. But in any case, this is a lottery: it can be both better and worse.

Therefore, I recommend transferring a child to another school when the opposition from the educational institution and the team of students exceeds the capabilities of parents: when there is not enough time, patience and strength.

/perevod/

How to transfer a child to another school

There is another option - to transfer a child to family education. But this is an individual issue, it needs to be considered separately.

It is also important to remember that any team is a conflict environment. Not necessarily in the form of bullying, but there will always be some collisions and misunderstandings. It will not be possible to completely protect a child from them with all the desire - but you can always provide him with protection and moral support.

“I vaguely remember some fights outside the school”

Maria Kolenkova

changed class due to bullying

Author profile

I experienced bullying at school. I remember the first grade perfectly, then we moved, I changed school and that's it, a memory gap. From the second to the sixth grade - nothing: no names of teachers, no classmates, how I studied, what happened. I vaguely remember some fights outside the school or flying down the school corridor. But it’s like dreams, I’m not sure that it was true.

I know about bullying from my mother: she said that my classmates took away my backpack, took my notebooks with homework to copy, and did not return it. I got deuces, and my mother paid attention to this. She was worried about problems with academic performance, because she saw that at home I regularly completed all the tasks. I myself can’t remember the cases with the backpack either.

In the seventh grade, my mother transferred me to a parallel class, and everything was wonderful there. There were no difficulties with socialization - as if I had always studied there, classmates immediately became friends. The reason is largely in the class teacher, who closely monitored the atmosphere in the team and organized extracurricular activities. For example, everyone - from excellent students to notorious hooligans - came to her birthday party and had fun together. Therefore, I did not even have to fit into the team.

I did not cross paths with my former classmates. Fortunately, they lost interest in me immediately after the transfer.

“There was a feeling that I was left alone and no one would help me”

Anonymous

is still experiencing the consequences of bullying

I experienced bullying at school, I was 12-13 years old. I was poisoned by a company of classmates who really didn’t like that I was an excellent student, in good standing with teachers and boys liked me.

It all started with petty mockery, name-calling, shouting in the back. Then they began to wait for me at the exit from the school, inciting their friends from parallel classes to wait for me at the turn at the house, and tell me nasty things. The toughest moment that I still remember is that they followed me from school to the entrance of the house, then they squeezed me four by one at the entrance, threatened me. It helped that one of the neighbors came out of the entrance and asked why there was such a crowd. I took advantage of the moment and flew like a bullet down the stairs to my floor and went into the apartment.

I was shaking and crying. Mom was at home at that moment, and I told her everything. To which she replied that she could not intervene, since I was already an adult, and the help of my parents would only make things worse. In general, there was a feeling that I was left alone and no one would help me.

The bullying continued for several months. Our class teacher noticed something was wrong, started talking to everyone in turn, trying to figure it out. I don’t know if there were conversations with the parents of the girls who bullied me, but at some point, instead of cursing, a silent boycott came in my direction, and then everything came to naught.

Has this situation affected me? Definitely yes. From that moment on, I'm more wary of people, it's hard to make new friends.