The Masterpiece Mom

I’m Just Tired {A Mom’s Prayer}

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I sat starting at a blinking cursor and accompanying blank page for far too long trying to piece together a blog post in my mind, but nothing came. I’m just tired. Extremely tired.

The sight of a blank screen looking back at me cues the sleepy eyes, not the creative juices.

Then I remembered you’re probably tired too. I say probably a bit sarcastically, because of course you are! I realized neither of us need to read one more thing when we’re this tired. But we do need to pray. Oh Lord, we need to pray.

So let’s do that. Let’s cry out to the Lord with our whole tired selves who’d much rather be hunkered down in bed with a fuzzy blanket than making lunches and breaking up fights. Let’s pray to the One who makes all things new (Isaiah 43:19) and renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31).

If you need a prompt because your brain is too tired to think, I invite you to pray this prayer with me.

……

Heavenly Father,

I know I don’t have to tell you, because you already know, but I’m bone tired today. My body is weak, my brain can’t think, and I’m overwhelmed. 

Mothering well on top of all that is going on is proving to be difficult, and I need you. Thank you for your presence to comfort and to guide. 

You are the Great I AM, the Great Physician, and the Good Shepherd, so I know I’m in your good and holy hands. Thank you for your infinite power, healing hand, and watchful eye over me, my life, and my family. 

Today I ask for strength. Please forgive me for attempting to get through this season on my own power. Your Name is a strong tower. I run into it today, where I am safe (Proverbs 18:10). 

I also ask in Jesus’ Name for the enemy to be bound, and for my soul to be free from his attacks. May all his plans fail. Your Name, Lord is higher than any other name (Phillipians 2:9), no enemy of yours will ever prosper (Isaiah 54:17).

I praise you for who you are. The unstoppable, ever-loving, uber-creative, and all-powerful God who loves me. THANK YOU. I could never repay you for the gift of Jesus, who took my place and my sin, but I will live my days as an offering to you. 

In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen

 

……

We invite you to share this prayer with the moms you know. After all, we’re all tired. Amen?

Because You’re Not Alone and What You’re Doing Matters {plus a giveaway!!!}

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1. Praise Goes On – Elevation Worship (Here as in Heaven)

2. Only Hope I’ve Got – Ellie Holcomb (As Sure As the Sun)

3. You Are My One Thing – Bethel Music (We Will Not Be Shaken – Live)

4. Say the Word – Hillsong United (Empires)

5. You Make Me Brave – Bethel Music (You Make Me Brave – Live)

6. Let It Be Jesus – Christy Nockels (Passion: Take It All)

7. Hold Onto Me – Elevation Worship (Here as in Heaven)

8. O’Lord – Lauren Daigle (How Can it Be)

9. Everything is Mine in You – Christy Nockels (Let It Be Jesus – Live)

10. With You Now – Ellie Holcomb (With You Now)

 

Super bonus tip: if you’re a member of Amazon Prime, several of these songs are available for free through Amazon Music! Build a library and listen directly through your computer, or download the Amazon Music app! Our family is loving this feature.

Are there certain songs and albums that help you re-center your mind and get you to a calm and healthy place?  Please share!

How a Stuffy Nose Helped Me Fully Understand the Love of Christ

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Whenever my 3 year-old Emmy has even the slightest of stuffy noses, she’ll stir several times in the night thrashing and crying out in her sleep. No matter what we do to clear her nose (nasal aspirator, essential oils, blowing her nose), it doesn’t stay that way for long and she cannot seem to get a handle on breathing through her mouth while her nose is out of commission.

We always know we’re in for it for a couple nights in a row when this happens. She’ll cry out repeatedly trying to breathe through her nose, and gets mad as a hornet because she can’t. She becomes completely irrational and can’t be settled — as 3 year-olds often do.

One night right before Easter, I sat with her on the couch late into the night comforting and rocking her, praying her nasal passages would clear up so she could rest. She drifted off to sleep again as this thought came to mind,

“I wish I could trade places with her for the night.”

I was willing to suffer a little while, so she could sleep comfortably. If only that were possible.

In that moment, hopelessly worn-out from the extended mom hours that night, the Holy Spirit immediately brought Jesus to mind. Jesus willingly suffered much more than a stuffy nose for His children to be able to enter into His rest. (Hebrews 4) In that moment, I knew His heart for us.

I experienced a teensy bit of His love for His children in my love for my spirited little Miss and desire to see her whole and at peace.

That mama-love you display so faithfully, desiring that your child be well, be whole, and able to rest mirrors that of our Savior. So if you ever get the notion that you’re not enough, or are failing in a million different ways — remember this: you love and desire good things for your child like Jesus does for his. That doesn’t sound like failing — it sounds like a human mother doing what God created her to do.

For Every Mom

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I so wish I could take every single one of you out for coffee and spend the afternoon swapping stories and listening to what is really going on in your lives. And then after hearing about the hard things, the craziness, the unexplainable, the worrisome, and the gooey parts of motherhood that still make your heart melt, I would tell you it’s all going to be okay. For reals. And then smother you with a big ol’ hug.

But because the miles separate us, and the likelihood of me ever having enough money to buy every single one of you a really outstanding cup of coffee is close to nil (and because some of you don’t even like coffee), I’ve written you a letter instead. Inexpensive, but heartfelt. Because I love you. And also because I think you need to hear this – no matter how old your children are, or what season of mothering you find yourself in.

And if you want, you can read this in a coffee shop and imagine we’re sitting and sipping together. You with your favorite delicious concoction, and me with my 12 ounce Americano with English Toffee and a little cream (unless they have a really yummy sounding special and then I’m probably drinking that).

So dear sweet mama, this one’s for you.

Dear Mom,

 

Just BREATHE. It’s all gonna be okay.

For you are loved. More than you’ll ever know. (This side of heaven anyway.)

You don’t have to be fearful. You don’t have to worry.

And you don’t need to know all the answers.

Because believe it or not, God’s got it all under control.

Yes, your job is big and important. Very important. With lots of responsibilities and to-dos.

That’s why you need to REST in Him and His promises. Daily. Hourly. Minute by minute. He won’t let you down. I promise.

DIG DEEP into His Word and RELY heavily on His truths. (And not all that crazy stuff the world likes to shout at you.)

I know there’s been days … weeks … months … where you’ve felt tired and overwhelmed. Alone in your struggle. Alone in your duties.

But TRUST — you are not alone.

He sees you.

And,

He. Is. With. You. Always.

In all.

Through all.

So Mom, dear Mom, you’re doin’ great! And what you’re doing as a mom really matters. Keep up the good work! And know: We’re cheering for YOU!!!

 

With much love,

Anne-Renee (from The Masterpiece Mom)

 

P.S. – Your family is blessed to have YOU!

Why Our Kids Need to Do Hard Things

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I don’t believe any of us would really want to leave our kids unprepared for the challenges ahead in adulthood. We want what’s best for them. Truly we do. 

But sometimes we do our parenting thing without giving a thought to how our actions right now will play out in their adult years.

Sometimes we coddle and cater to these children God entrusted to us — wanting so badly for them to have this pleasant and lovely childhood, that we never teach our kids how to really live. Because really living sometimes involves doing hard things. “Sometimes” meaning a lot of the time.

Our kids don’t need every battle fought for them.

They don’t need us to make excuses for them.

They don’t always need to be rescued.

They don’t need to sit out of the hard work.

And they won’t benefit from having parents who dismiss the learning experience living with consequences will bring them.

Adults can attest to the fact that living with the effects of our actions is a very real part of adult life. We also know the stakes are higher as we age.

Your kids and my kids will benefit from helping with chores, learning to cook, fighting some of their own battles, sharing rooms with siblings, and loving people who are having a hard time. They also gain from earning privileges, saving money, having responsibilities, and failing at things they set out to do.

Never once have I witnessed a child benefit from having an easy world, void of consequences, handed to them.

Instead of letting them escape the repercussion of their choices, our kids need us to walk beside them as they face them — lovingly, graciously, and without condemnation. And that, my friends is where the hard work lies for us.

 

Related reading: Your Kid, 10 Years Later

Where Did Happy Mama Go?

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What happened to happy mama?

The question hung in the air as I sat at the piano, my fingers perched gently on the keyboard. A beautiful piece by Debussy waited in front of me; one of my favorites. But somehow I couldn’t quite conjure up the desire to push down on the black and white keys. Like the actual undertaking of playing a song was too joyous for the cloud of doubt and dejection that seemed permanently suspended over my head.

The joy of the Lord is your strength.  (Nehemiah 8:10)

So You’re Drowning as a Mom, Now What?

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In the last fifteen years, I can pinpoint several specific seasons of motherhood where I was absolutely drowning.

I’m not talking about a string of bad days where everything seemed to go wrong. I’m talking about weeks, months, or possibly even years of struggle upon struggle. During these times, I’m tense, stressed, depressed, complain-y, moody, and an all-around grump with the unusual sense that the glass is perpetually half-empty. It is during these times I know I can’t continue down the current path.

Nope. Nuh uh. No way.

Something had to give or the mama of the house was going to completely FLIP. OUT.

If you’ve felt this way about your mothering, or you’re in this sort of season currently, I’m sorry. It’s a hard place to be.

A fellow mom I’ve known since she was a young teen recently contacted me in this exact position. She was overwhelmed and at the end of her rope. I clung to her words. They made perfect sense to me. I heard her cry for help through the words typed out in a Facebook message. I knew right where she was, because I’ve been there. Her words were so familiar. Her heart beat with a love for her children, and desire to do things differently, resulting in joyful mothering. Isn’t that what we all desire?

Some fun. Some peace. Some love, and some sanity thrown in for good measure?

Meeting and talking with my friend spurred on some of my own thoughts —  what sort of things have helped the hard seasons settle back into normal-ish routine and healthy thought patterns where I didn’t feel like running away or sending everyone off to Grandma’s for a year week?

I’ve narrowed it down to a few questions I’ve learned to ask myself when times are exceedingly tough.

1. What feels impossible right now?

Whenever I feel overloaded and burdened, it helps for me to actually put pen to paper and list everything that feels too difficult. Last year I wrote about it right HERE. Just getting it all out of my mind and in front of me in a notebook helps me see that, yeah, my load is lot to bear. It helps me understand that I’m not crazy or wimpy. It also helps me navigate conversations with Jeremy. I’m less ramble-y and more to the point when I’ve untangled the knots and figured out exactly what is making me so stressed. I’m also less likely to melt into a puddle of tears because I’ve already faced everything that feels hard, so the inevitable conversation I’ll have with my husband isn’t the first time I’ve faced it. Husbands appreciate this. Well, at least mine does. Just last night I made a list of all the difficult decisions we’re needing to make in the next few months. My list is ten items deep. I did this all before having a husband/wife chat about it. It helps. It truly does.

2. What seems to help alleviate the struggles?

So now that you’ve figured out your struggles, is there anything that actually helps alleviate some of the stress you’re feeling? Like, maybe you’ve realized that the stress you feel about your chronically messy house is actually helped when you’ve set the timer for 10 minutes before bed in the past and the whole family tidies the place up. Maybe the few months you spent in therapy for yourself really made a difference two years ago. It may be time to revisit that. If you’ve found something that alleviates the stress, jot it down. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but writing things down and seeing them right there on paper makes a big difference. Sometimes we need to stop and remember what has helped, because sometimes we give up new habits too soon.

3. Are there habits I’m clinging to that are draining the life out of my family and I?

Speaking of habits — some are life-giving, some are life-draining. Are there habits you’re engaging in that are sucking the life out of you and your family? Are you spending too much time on social media? Are you spending precious time thinking negative thoughts about yourself and others? Are you allowing your kids to run mealtime and bedtime? At times we get stuck in the way we’ve always done it, and get lost in thinking our current method is the only solution. I’ve seen moms completely lose their junk trying to make each child happy at a meal. “Oh, you don’t like the green beans and grilled cheese I made, my precious little lamb? Here’s some chips and hotdogs instead. You don’t LIKE THAT EITHER?” (Stomps away, or yells, or worse — makes them something else.) Maybe we’ll stop losing our junk if we drop the draining habits. There is another way. Are we clinging to habits that are life-giving or life-draining?

A wise mentor gave me some stellar advice recently when I spoke to her about a struggle I was having on a certain day of the week. She urged me to reorient my mind by making a new routine for that day — to break the unhealthy emotional cycle I was in by changing some of my actions. Do you know what? It’s working.

Let’s stop and consider how our methods are affecting ourselves and our families. And you guessed it! Write them down and consider letting a brand-new habit replace the most draining thing on your list. Baby steps. And if you get brave, and one of those new life-giving habits becomes routine? Tackle the second-most draining next, and so on.

4. Am I finding ways to feed my soul?

Ah, yes. We really do need to take care of ourselves. Are we communing with God through prayer and scripture reading/study? Are we handing burdens over to Jesus? After all, we weren’t meant to carry them. He’s waiting, ready to help.

Are we communicating with and making time for friends? Are we taking time to be “us”? I’m not talking elaborate days or weekends away from our families (though those are fun too!), I’m talking the everyday action of doing something we enjoy. Maybe it’s a date with Netflix after the kids are in bed. Maybe it’s reading or a daily phone call to someone you love. Maybe it’s a bath or painting your toenails. Maybe it’s conversation or a game with your spouse. Whatever feeds your soul, do more of that. Perhaps making a list of all the things we love to do would serve as a reminder to take care of us. More writing, I know. 

 

Some of us are in the midst of difficult times that are not solved by changing habits or writing things down. I feel you. But maybe some of what I’ve shared will help even a little bit. And for that I’m grateful.

Do you need prayer? Let us know in the comments, or email us: info(at)themasterpiecemom.com

We’d be honored to pray for you. 

When Your World Seems Topsy-Turvy

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It all started with an earthquake.

Several weeks ago, here in Alaska, we experienced a 7.1 earthquake piggybacked with a sisterly 6.4 quake.

And as things in motherhood often go – such as sick children, bursting pipes, and plugged toilets, this particular rumbling from the depths occurred in the middle of the night (1:30 a.m. to be exact), and left us, for lack of another word, feeling shaken.

As soon as the house stopped shuddering and pulsating, my protective mama instincts jumped into high gear. Without really thinking about what I was doing, I started murmuring prayers of, You, O Lord, are a shield about me, as I calmed my rattled children and prepared them for a possible aftershock. And as my husband had just had knee surgery, I knew I needed to run and grab emergency cold-weather essentials from the garage in case we needed to vacate. The clock was ticking.

In the midst of the chaos, my son (who likes to know the plan for all of life) started peppering us with questions: “Okay, where is our emergency meeting place? And if it happens again, what do you want us to do? Do we need to get the cars out of the garage? I mean, are they safe out there? Do we have enough food in the pantry? And what if the power goes out? Maybe we should sleep downstairs.”

And as his questions rang forth, I told him he only needed to do one thing. Just listen for his dad’s voice. Dad would instruct us in what we needed to do. At the right time. In the right way.

His only job was to do that one little thing: LISTEN.

And now as I mull over what happened, I am challenged by this truth of heeding. To listen, and listen well. For that’s all we really need to do as children of the Most High. Listen and respond accordingly.

We don’t need to stress out about tomorrow and what may or may not happen. We don’t need to panic in regard to our 5-year plan. Or our 10-year plan. We just need to listen. Listen for our Father’s voice. The One who breathed life into us. The One who with mere words, spoke the world into being.

We make things so complicated. Wanting all our ducks in their proper rows. Having our game plans and desiring for things to be done in a certain sequence.

And yet, our Father, who knows best, is waiting. He’s waiting for us to stop running around, to stop talking and asking all the laborious questions. He’s waiting for us to listen. Listen to His voice. Listen to His heart.

That night, even though the earth was shaking and the lights were swinging, somehow my children weren’t afraid. They know their eternal destiny. They are firm in their love for the Lord. In fact, my son, when he was finally headed back to bed summed it up beautifully in saying, “I guess God must have thought we needed to be reminded of His power.”

Yes we do, my son. Every day. Every hour. Oh how we need Him.

Sweet mama, may the storms that threaten to rock your world today not scare you in the least, but simply put you in awe of His power. For the victory is all His. The world is firmly in His grasp. We know the unmovable unchangeable all-powerful truth.

And we will not be shaken.