How can a mother lose custody of her child in california
5 Ways A Mother Can Lose Custody of Her Child in California
How Can a Mother Lose Custody of Her Child in California?
A common myth is that California courts favor mothers when determining child custody. Here are 5 ways a mother can lose custody of her child in California.
In California, a mother can lose custody of her child if she is an unfit parent. Serious neglect, violation of an existing custody order, child abuse, and emotional instability can be used as grounds to end a mother’s custody rights.
Below we’ll discuss why mothers lose child custody, evidence the child’s other parent can use against the mother, and how to prevent mothers from losing child custody. To best protect your child custody rights, contact us. We’ll connect you with one of our child custody attorneys for women.
1. Serious Neglect and Being an Unfit Parent
Serious child neglect can be used as grounds to take away a mother’s rights to child custody. Endangering a child’s essential necessities, access to education, or health can be legally considered serious neglect.
A father can petition that a mother has not upheld her parental obligations and should have her custody rights taken away. Caretakers, teachers, friends, or even the children themselves can legally testify of the mother’s serious neglect. A judge will revoke a mother’s child custody rights if they believe the child has been seriously neglected.
However, minor child neglect, like not picking up the kid from school on time, is typically not grounds to end a mother’s right to child custody. Courts understand that no parent is perfect and will not punish mothers or fathers for blunders. Minor mistakes do not count as serious child neglect, but rather, consistent, sever neglect.
2. Violating a Custody Order
Violation of a child custody order may be grounds for a mother’s custody rights to be lost or reduced. A mother that disobeys custody schedules, neglects court-ordered responsibilities, or interferes with the father’s visitation rights can lose custody of her child.
A father can keep a detailed log of every time a mother interferes with or violates a custody order. Every time a mother kept a child from their father or sabotaged visitation plans can be used against her in court to take away her child custody rights.
If an existing custody and visitation order is in place, a mother can lose her custody of her child for disobeying it. Restraining order violations can also be used to revoke a mother’s child custody rights.
3. Domestic Abuse
If a mother can lose custody of her child if she has a history of abusing a child or her ex. Judges do not tolerate abuse or violence from either spouse and will make a child custody order that they believe protects the child’s best interests. Child abuse can be physical or emotional.
Physical Abuse
Slapping, punching, hitting, kicking, scratching, pinching, or any other type of physical assault can be grounds to take away a mother’s child custody rights. Physical abuse upon a husband can also question a mother’s ability to parent. A father can document his or his child’s abuse through photographs or videos of wounds or physical altercations.
Police reports and restraining orders can also serve as strong evidence to strip a mother of her custody rights. The father can then present this evidence to the court and argue that the mother’s custody rights should be terminated or reduced. Any documented abuse will be taken seriously by the courts and question a mother’s ability to care for her children.
Emotional Abuse
Although it is much harder to prove in court, emotional abuse can be grounds for a mother to lose custody of her child in California. If a mother harasses or belittles her child, a court may take away her rights to child custody, especially if paired with physical abuse. A common form of emotional abuse considered by the court is parental alienation, or manipulating a child into hating the other parent. Parental alienation is taken seriously by California judges, especially if the children are young. Text messages, voice recordings, emails, transcribed phone calls, or legal testimonies can be used as strong evidence to take away a mother’s custody rights in court.
For information on how to fight false allegations in child custody, click here.
4. Inadequate Co-Parenting Skills
Spouses that share parental responsibilities must uphold such responsibilities or face termination of their child custody rights. If a joint custody order is in place and the children seriously dread or fear staying with their mom, a court may take away the mother’s custody rights. Poor co-parenting skills can include failing to take children to school, neglecting other parental responsibilities, or making irrational decisions that endanger children. These acts could cause a mother to lose custody of her child.
5. Emotional Instability or Substance Abuse
A parent’s emotional instability can impair her ability to care for her children and jeopardize her right to child custody. If a mother’s mental state endangers her child’s well-being or health, a judge can take away her custody rights. Mental disorders or frequent mental breakdowns can be used as grounds to terminate a mother’s custody rights. The other parent can document emotional instability, present it to the court, and argue that the children’s best interests are best protected outside of the mother’s custody. Emotional instability can be tied to substance abuse.
Alcohol or drug addictions are taken very seriously in California courts. If a mother’s drug or alcohol use impairs her ability to responsibly care for her child, a judge can take away her custody rights. A father can present evidence of his ex’s substance abuse and request that the mother’s custody rights be terminated.
FAQs About Mothers Losing Child Custody
Can a mother lose custody of her child for using drugs in California?
Yes, if a mother can lose custody of her child if she has a proven history of using drugs or alcohol. The child’s other parent can argue that substance abuse can potentially endanger the child and request that the mother’s custody rights be terminated.
Can a mother lose custody for being with a child abuser in California?
A judge can terminate a mother’s custody rights if they believe the child may be endangered in her care. Who the child is surrounded by when in the mother’s custody will be taken into consideration by a judge.
Can a father take a child from a mother if she loses her job?
A father can argue that a mother’s unemployment diminishes her ability to provide a safe place for the child to live. While a mother’s employment status cannot be directly taken into consideration when determining child custody, the child’s level of safety can.
What is needed for a mother to give temporary custody of her child in California?
For a mother to give temporary custody of her child to someone else, both parties must sign a temporary guardianship agreement and have it be signed by a judge. If the child is over 14 years old, he or she will need to sign the agreement as well.
Can a mother lose custody of my child for refusing to enroll her child in school?
In California, a mother can lose custody of her child if she prevents the child from getting access to education. A mother that refuses to enroll the child in school can be deemed an unfit parent and subsequently have her custody rights taken away.
Can a mother lose custody of her child for dating a different man?
A mother cannot simply lose custody of her child for dating a different man. However, if the mother’s new partner’s presence endangers the child in any regard, the mother can lose custody of her child.
How can a mother keep full custody of her child in California?
A mother can keep full custody of her child if she upholds parental responsibilities and ultimately proves that the child’s best interests are fulfilled in her care.
For answers to more FAQs about child custody in California, click here.
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How Can a Mother Lose Custody of Her Child in CA?
Not so long ago, there was a time when a mother would automatically be awarded custody of her children as the “mother. ” That arrangement reflected the prevailing gender roles of the time, wherein mothers were caregivers and fathers were breadwinners. But now that things are changing, you might be asking: how can a mother lose custody of her child? Is it possible to lose custody of your children even when you’ve been raising them yourself all this time?
Fathers are now better preparing their child custody cases to win custody of their children. Although the increase in the number of fathers gaining custody of their children during a separation from their partner isn’t exceptionally high, the possibility of this happening in your case still might cause you stress. After all, even if you’ve been awarded custody of your children, that decision can still be reversed if your ex challenges your rights to custody.
So, if you’re worried about the possibility of losing your right to child custody and no longer being able to care for your children, you need to know what factors can lead to that.
This article is about a mother’s serious misconduct that should cause her to lose custody. It is not about how a father should engage in unnecessary or unreasonable litigation conduct.
2. FAQs About Mothers Losing Child Custody
2.1. Can a father take a child from a mother if she loses her job in California?
2.2. Can a mother lose custody of her child for using drugs in California?
2.3. Can a mother lose custody for being with a child abuser in California?
2.4. Can a mother lose custody of her child for failing to enroll her child in school in California?
2.5. Can a mother lose custody of her child for dating a different man?
10 Ways a Mother Can Lose Custody of Her Child
There are a number of ways a mother can lose custody of her children. But in order for a judge to reconsider the family court’s decision, the allegations must be supported by solid evidence because the burden of proof lies on the party seeking the modification of child custody.
Here are the 10 most common ways a mother can lose custody of her child:
1. Child Abuse
One reason that mothers lose custody of their children is abuse: physical, emotional, or sexual. Some people assume that women are less likely to be physical abusers, but women are capable of all types of child abuse. Because society tends to see women as nurturing, it is often more shocking to learn that a mother has abused her children.
Examples of child abuse include:
- Physical abuse could mean excessive hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, burning, physical torture, etc.
- Sexual abuse involves any form of sexual contact between the child and the mother.
- Psychological and emotional abuse usually involves harsh and outrageous verbal treatments.
In some cases, the mother is not abusive herself, but may fail to protect her children from abuse by a new romantic partner. If the court becomes aware of abuse by a mother or her new partner, the mother is likely to lose custody.
If a father knows, or reasonably should know, that the mother is abusing their child and still does nothing, it can be considered failure to protect the child and impact the father’s custodial rights as well as the mother’s because parents have a duty to protect their children.
Keep in mind there are mandatory reporters in California, who have a legal duty to report suspected abuse.
When the court receives sufficient evidence of a mother’s abusive conduct, it is authorized to change current custody arrangements if doing so will be in the children’s best interests.
A mother can lose custody of her child because of physical abuse of her child in any of the following ways:
- A report of the physical abuse is made to the proper law enforcement agency, who then takes action;
- A report of the physical abuse is made to the proper social services agency, sometimes called Child Protective Services (CPS), who then investigates the allegations. CPS can remove a child from a physically abusive home and provide temporary custody to the child’s other parent or a close family member.
- The father of the child files a Request for Order (RFO) in a family court case with a request for emergency custody orders notifying the court about the mother’s abuse of the child, and requesting sole legal and physical custody of the child.
With the help of a custody lawyer, the father of a child experiencing abuse at the hands of their mother can request that the court investigate his claims and award sole custody of the children to him. Then, the mother will likely only retain visitation rights, often with professional monitoring.
2. Child Neglect
A mother who fails to take care of her child’s basic needs, including access to health and education, is also at risk of losing custody. A mother’s serious neglect that endangers the child’s healthy, safety, or wellbeing is unacceptable. Also, if the mother neglected her child in a manner that left the child without food, shelter, clothes, and/or education, she may lose custody. Neglect is often intertwined with other issues such as child abuse or substance abuse.
There is no “perfect parent” standard in the California Family Code. Family law judges understand that parenting is an imperfect process. Minor mishaps or inconsistent infractions, such as being late to pick the children up from school or not being able to keep a routine doctor’s appointment, may be overlooked, but long-term, consistent neglect is something else, and if it threatens the child’s well-being, the court can intervene.
The neglect of children is hard to prove alone. But it can be done, and it can be grounds for removing a mother’s custody rights. If a mother fails to care for her children, other parties will likely notice (e.g., the children’s teachers or daycare workers). Therefore, the father could use their testimonies against the mother in court.
A father can petition that a mother has not upheld her parental obligations and should have her custody rights taken away. Caretakers, teachers, friends, or even the children themselves can legally testify of the mother’s serious neglect. A family court judge will revoke a mother’s child custody rights if they believe the child has been seriously neglected.
3. Substance Abuse or Addiction
Many people struggle with addictions to alcohol and other substances. These addictions are taken very seriously in California courts. If a mother has these addictions, it puts into question her fitness and ability to care for her children.
A mother who is proven to have demonstrated a dependency on prohibited substances or drugs and or alcohol runs the risk of getting her custody and visitation rights revoked. Moreover, children of drug addicts and or alcoholics have a higher risk of suffering from neglect, being abused, and imitating their parent’s behavior by picking up similar bad habits. A father can present evidence of the mother’s substance abuse and request that the mother’s custody rights be terminated.
If a mother is suspected of substance abuse, the courts might require her to undergo drug testing. Although failing a drug test may not automatically rescind her custodial rights, it would likely influence the court’s final decision.
Addiction is a medical condition that needs treatment, but it can also make it difficult to parent effectively. Consequently, mothers struggling with substance abuse issues may lose custody.
This result is especially true if it involves physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, or the endangerment of the children’s lives (e.g. drunk driving). However, a mother may be able to retain custody if she agrees to get counseling or other treatment for her addiction (and actually follows through).
4. Violating a Court Order
Violation of a child custody order may be grounds for a mother’s custody rights to be lost or reduced. A mother that disobeys custody schedules, neglects court-ordered responsibilities, or interferes with the father’s visitation rights can lose custody of her child.
If the court orders a shared custody agreement where she and her co-parent have equal custody and visitation rights, and she fails to comply or interferes with the parenting time, she is considered to be in violation of the court order.
Violations of court orders are like any other form of misconduct: the more serious the violation is, the more serious the consequences should be. Assume a mother is consistently late to drop off or pick up of a child by a few minutes. That may technically be a violation of a court order. However, these kinds of minor violations will rarely, if ever, result in any change in custody.
Now assume a mother decides the court’s order that provides the father with specific parenting time is a suggestion, not a directive. Therefore, she cancels the father’s parenting time when she wishes to do so. That is a serious violation, and if it continues, may lead to a mother losing custody of a child.
A father should keep a detailed log of every time a mother interferes with or violates a court order. Every time the mother kept the child from their father or sabotaged visitation plans can be used against her in court to take away or lessen her child custody rights.
An all too common mistake fathers make in these situation is to allow the violations of the court order to go without any consequence. The usual reason behind the inaction is a desire to avoid conflict. But a mother will simply not understand that she is at risk of losing custody if the father allows the mother to continually violate court orders. All that does is solidify for the mother the delusion that court orders are mere suggestions and not directives she must follow.
The longer a father allows this to happen and fails to assert his rights as a father, the harder it may be to convince the court the father is taking the situation seriously.
5. Domestic Violence
A mother who is found to have committed domestic violence against any member of the household (including the father), is also at risk of losing custody.
Domestic violence is not something children should be exposed to, as this can harm their psychological development. Moreover, domestic abuse can escalate anytime, thereby exposing the children to potential harm. So if the mother is proven to engage in such abuse, she can have her custody revoked.
Under Family Code 3044, if a father can prove that the mother has committed domestic violence against the father, the child, or the child’s siblings within the previous five years, there is a rebuttable presumption that an award of sole or joint physical or legal custody of a child to the mother is detrimental to the best interest of the child.
California courts are required to grant reasonable visitation rights to parents unless visitation would not be in the child’s best interests. It is not in a child’s best interests to be exposed to domestic violence, so the court can protect the child by, for example, ordering the mother’s visitation is to be supervised (meaning a third party must supervise all visits between the child and the mother) or banning overnight visits.
6. Severe Mental Health Issues
Mothers who have mental health issues are still entitled to custody of their children. However, if a mother’s mental state endangers her child’s well-being or health, the court can take away or lessen her child custody rights.
According to Mental Health America: “Custody loss rates for parents with mental illness range as high as 70-80 percent, and a higher proportion of parents with serious mental illnesses lose custody of their children than parents without mental illness.”
Then again, the father has the burden to provide the court with sufficient evidence showing that the mother’s mental state or psychological issues compromise the safety of their children and argue that the children’s best interests are best protected outside of the mother’s custody. Since matters like these are sensitive, the court may require the mother to undergo psychological testing, as well as counseling and interviews by experts, before making any decision.
7. Child Abduction
If a mother decides to take her child without permission from the father, the court can consider it child abduction. It may not feel like kidnapping when it’s your own child, but the hard truth is that it is considered abduction when a mother takes a child in defiance of a custody order.
Even if the mother does not harm the child or the child consents, it is against any custodial agreement for a parent to run off with the child without the knowledge of the other parent. This action can make the mother look unfavorable and risk losing custody of the child.
8. Parental Alienation
Mothers who attempt to damage the image of their co-parent, or who physically withhold the kids from the other parent may be engaging in parental alienation. In California, children are encouraged by law to have frequent and continuing contact with both parents in a process called co-parenting. In such cases where parents share visitation and custody rights, they are legally bound to follow the custody arrangement.
Making derogatory or degrading comments about their co-parent to turn the children against the other parent is simply unacceptable behavior. A mother who makes a habit of setting important appointments or trips that lead to the father not being with his children during their scheduled time together can also be accused of engaging in parental alienation.
If the father keeps detailed records of instances where the mother finds ways to sabotage his parenting time with their children, they can be used as evidence against her. So, mothers who engage in these alienating behaviors can have their visitation and custodial rights limited until the damage from the mother’s alienating behaviors can be repaired.
The court can also make orders including requirements for a mother engaging in parental alienation to undergo individual therapy, for the parents to attend co-parenting counseling, for the child and the father to attend reunification therapy to begin to repair the relationship, etc.
9. Lack of Involvement in the Child’s Care
A mother could have her child’s welfare at heart and may genuinely want to raise her child. However, if she is always away, working multiple jobs, in military service, or engaged in anything that takes away precious time from her children, it can put her custodial rights at risk. Leaving almost all the caregiving to the father could count against a mother in a custody dispute.
A father in a custody battle can use this as a weapon against the mother to gain custody of their children. Since family courts are primarily concerned with ensuring the children’s interests are protected, they would prefer to award or transfer custody to the parent who will be there for the kids.
Therefore, if you are in a similar situation, you need to speak to an attorney and make changes to your lifestyle or work arrangements.
10. Reporting Abuse by the Other Parent
A recent study discovered that when mothers claim that the other parent physically or sexually abused their child, the mothers were more likely to lose custody of the child, especially if the other parent counter-claimed that the mother’s allegations were an attempt to alienate the child from them. (Interestingly, no such effect was found when it was a father alleging that the mother abused the child).
So, in short, a mother who claims (even truthfully) that the other parent is abusing their child is at risk of losing custody. It may not be fair, but it highlights the need to have an experienced custody lawyer working for you and your child from the start.
Not surprisingly, a mother making false allegations of abuse against the other parent can also lose custody if it is proven that the accusations were all fabricated.
FAQs About Mothers Losing Child Custody
While a mother’s employment status cannot be directly taken into consideration when determining child custody and a mother cannot be discriminated against for her financial position, however, the child’s level of safety in the mother’s custody can be an issue if the mother cannot provide a safe place for the child to live. A father would need to argue that the mother was not able to provide for the child’s basic needs. *Keep in mind, this argument may backfire on fathers because the mother could simply respond by requesting a modification of child support in order to get more support to better care for the child.
A mother who is proven to have demonstrated a dependency on prohibited substances or drugs an/or alcohol runs the risk of getting her custody and visitation rights revoked. A father can present evidence of the mother’s substance abuse and request that the mother’s custody rights be terminated if he can effectively prove that the substance abuse can potentially endanger the child.
The family court can modify or revoke a mother’s custody rights if they believe the child may be endangered in her care. Who the child is surrounded by when in the mother’s custody will be taken into consideration by a judge.
In California, a mother can lose custody of her child if she prevents the child from getting access to education. That being said, this issue most often arises when a child reaches the age of 5, when children are commonly enrolled in kindergarten. Kindergarten is not legally mandatory in California, so fathers will not necessarily be able to have the mother’s custody rights modified based on a failure to enroll the child in kindergarten in California.
A mother cannot simply lose custody of her child for dating someone new. However, if the mother’s new partner’s presence endangers the child in any way, the mother can lose custody of her child. It is also important to note that if the mother allows her new partner to physically discipline the child, the mother is placing her custodial rights in jeopardy.
If you are facing a custody dispute, do not assume that you will get the custody arrangement you want just because you are the mother. Work with an experienced California child custody attorney to help ensure that the court receives all the information it needs to order a custody arrangement that is favorable.
If you are already involved in a custody dispute and have lost custody of your child, it is even more important to have skilled representation because you are fighting an uphill battle.
California’s family law procedures are complex and trying to navigate them without help of a California family lawyer can be frustrating. If you have questions about family law procedures, contact our accomplished and dedicated family law, divorce, and child custody lawyers by calling (844) 4-TALKOV (825568) or contact us online for a free consultation with our experienced family law attorney, Colleen Talkov, who can guide you through the court process in a prompt and clear manner.
Talkov Law provides family law attorneys in Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego, San Francisco, San Bernardino, Riverside, Palm Springs, Palo Alto, San Jose, Sacramento, Fresno, Santa Barbara, Redding, Oakland, Monterey Bay, Long Beach, Walnut Creek, Santa Rosa, San Fernando Valley, San Gabriel Valley, Bakersfield, and surrounding areas.
Our knowledgeable attorneys can also help if you have questions about any of the following:
How to build relationships for those who already have children?
“At first, it's hard to find time for a relationship. Secondly, many people are not interested in a relationship with someone who has children. And thirdly, I would not want my child to think that I am having affairs with everyone. So I'm very picky about girls.” - Benson, 49, Toronto, Ontario
“When you have children, relationships develop very slowly. I can't dive headlong into them, finally get carried away by my lover and spend most of my time with him. I have children, a house, a job. It turns out that I cannot find out everything about a person at once. So you have to look at it for a long time.” – Annie, 30, Moscow, Idaho
What do you most often worry about in a relationship?
“Children live with me 24/7 – they are always at home. So my boyfriend just can't come to visit me. And sometimes you want to. I have to wait until I decide to introduce the chosen one to the children. And it may not even get to that.” —Hannah, 43, Dayton, Ohio
“When you are absolutely in love, it is hard for you not to completely lose your head and start moving away from the child. I could afford a babysitter, but I prioritized my child the most important thing to me.” —Susan, 57, Phoenix, Arizona
When do you realize that it's time to introduce your loved one to children?
“I wait at least five or six months before introducing my chosen one to my children. And then, if I feel that this relationship has the potential to develop. If I understand that nothing will work out, I will not introduce my girlfriend to children. It doesn't make sense." -Jeff, 52, Boston, Massachusetts
“This is a difficult question. I dated a guy for three months (he also has a daughter). And we decided that we would get to know each other's children only when we had a serious and strong relationship. There is no specific time when this important meeting should take place. A friend of mine introduced the children to his girlfriend after only two weeks of relationship. A lot depends on the age of the child and the situation itself.” – Hannah, 43, Dayton, Ohio
“I have a rule - to introduce a guy to children not earlier than after a year of relationship. I could change my mind and arrange this meeting earlier only if my man had children about the same age as mine. They could hang out together, that would be great. In this case, this awkward moment would have been avoided: “Here, dear, with this strange uncle whom you see for the first time, you will have to share your mother. I hope you like it.” – Annie, 30, Moscow, Idaho
Would you stop dating someone your child doesn't like?
“We need a good reason for this. If a child does not like my boyfriend's sense of humor, this is not serious. But if they notice that he behaves disrespectfully towards me, then I will think about it. I trust my children.” —Hannah, 43, Dayton, Ohio
“I would definitely listen to children. They are kind and everyone loves them. Therefore, if they disliked someone, there was probably a good reason for this. My first duty as a parent is to protect my children. If they don't like someone, I have to figure out what's wrong.” —Andrea, 44, Dallas, Texas
Has having children changed the process of finding a partner?
“Definitely yes. Before, the first thing I looked at was the guy's physical attractiveness. Now it is much more important for me that he be reliable, kind and without bad habits. Before I met my current boyfriend, I talked a lot with men on dating sites. One of the most important criteria for whether the communication would continue or not was my desire to introduce the young man to the children. If I didn’t want this or that guy to know my guys, the communication stopped.” – Hannah, 43, Dayton, Ohio.
Stavropol resident abused his ex in front of children
Sariya Aliyeva lives in Nevinnomyssk, works, has two children and dreams of being left alone by her ex. A calm life with the father of her son was shattered by threats, assault and fear of losing children, her life. The correspondent of Notepad will tell about the story of a girl who survived the attack of her ex-lover and continues to fight him off alone.
The heroine of the publication met Valery (name changed - ed. note) in 2018. She worked in a hypermarket, and the man in question bought in it as a wholesaler. There he laid eyes on her.
The man decided to conquer Sariya with generosity: he gave gifts, called for her in an expensive car, showed her the apartment where he lives. Yes, and he behaved like a person who, at first glance, did not find fault.
The first year of the relationship passed more or less calmly, then Sariya became pregnant. The couple had a little Samson (name changed - ed.). Now he is two years old. The eldest daughter of the heroine is 6 years old. As Aliyeva recalls, the household nightmare began even during pregnancy, when Valery did not restrain unhealthy outbursts of jealousy.
Pregnant Sariya with her former partner. Source: personal archive
― Could hit, give bream, pour water on her head when she carried Samson. When my son was three months old, he hit me drunk. I was diagnosed with a mild concussion. He put my things and the child in the entrance, saying that he no longer wants to live with me. He accused me of having just given birth, and already supposedly walking , - the girl told the correspondent.
After the incident, Sariya was taken in by her sister. Then a new stage of testing her nerves for strength began: employees of the PDN and guardianship began to visit the young mother often. Girls were checked for allegedly poor living conditions for children.
In the end, things calmed down. In parallel, as the interlocutor recalls, there were threats from Father Samson to take the child. They scared Sariya so much that she left with her children to stay with her mother in Moscow. When they left her alone, she returned to Nevinnomyssk.
So she gradually began to get on her feet: she worked steadily, took out a loan for her own apartment and began to equip it. A quiet independent life did not last long.
- On November 14, 2020, he called me and told me to pick up the things he brought for my son. By the way, he did not ask to take out the child. I was still living with my sister then. We met, in a conversation he said that he had bought a house, and I would never give such a thing to Samson in my life. In response, I stated that I take care of my son every day. He covered me with foul language and left, - the heroine recalls.
He did not leave the girl alone in the online space. In the correspondence, Valery stated that Sariya would do everything as he said. She stopped contacting him again... for a while. One evening the intercom rang. He came.
― The sister opened the door, thinking that Valera had just come to chat. When she heard that he was blown up and running, she felt something was wrong and tried to close the door. The result - her leg was all bruised and blue. The sister is fragile - weighs 45 kilograms. He opened the door and kicked her in the liver with his foot, she fell from the blow. She also filmed beatings.
He ran out the door and shouted for me to come down. I did so, afraid of a wilder antics. When I left, I saw that the entire entrance was flooded with alcohol, broken bottles everywhere. Plus, the wiring was cut - he cut off the Internet to the whole house. Neighbors came out to his cry, they stood up for me. Valera beat one of them so that he was in the hospital for a month, the other had a concussion .
Photo of the entrance after the visit of the former partner
He was barely calmed down by the arriving policemen. He beat with keys, then they took them from him and gave them to me as his ex. But my fingerprints were on the keys. The next morning he demanded the keys back. He called the police with dogs to look for an alleged backpack and money, which, according to him, we stole. He began to drag me to the police, saying that they would give me a year and a half, but everything was quiet , - the heroine of the material shares her memories.
At the same time, Sariya tried to equip her life: she made repairs so that the ex-cohabitant would not have a reason to set guardianship authorities on her again.
At the beginning of 2022, the Stavropol citizen “changed his shoes”. As the interlocutor recalls, he began to shower both little Samson and her eldest daughter with gifts. This went on for six months. In April, he announced that he wanted to see his son.
Sariya went to meet him and he began to communicate with the child in her company. It got to the point that the man became a guest in her house. And then new "alarm bells" began.
- When I began to notice him again, he told me: God forbid you will communicate with your sister - I will make her a French tie (sexual practice - ed. note). He said that we broke up allegedly because of her. Threatened to kill her. I got scared and stopped communicating with my sister,” says Aliyeva.
The silence ended on November 24, 2022. By that time, the former cohabitant had ceased to appear on the horizon and try on a sheep's skin - the abyss could, as she recalls Aliyeva, for a month. During this period, her friend's brother wrote to her. She told him about the situation that had developed with Valery. One evening, a friend drove her home. This, as it turned out, was seen by Samson's father.
When Sariya returned home, she got a call from a friend's phone. He was not on the other end of the line.
― Valery asked me what I was doing. I answered that I bathe children. She asked where he got the phone number of my friend's brother. In the end, it turned out that he beat him, broke the phone. Then he came on the evening of November 24 at ten o'clock. Asked to open, "just to talk." I did not open the intercom for him, he got into the entrance himself.
He knocked on the door, saying: “If you don’t let me in, it will be worse.” I opened the door, he went in and immediately closed it, grabbed my hair and dragged me to the kitchen. Valery beat me in front of the children, then he took scissors, threw me on the floor, and began to cut off my hair. First the tail, and then under the root. He left me half bald. While he sneered at me, the children stood nearby and cried. He didn't care. Left me beaten and left. I thought he would just kill me.
Sariya's cut hair
When this torture was over, she herself called an ambulance. On November 25, Sariya was admitted to the hospital with a concussion and soft tissue injury. The eye suffered - it swam from edema and could not see well. After the incident, he recorded a video with a huge tuft of hair in a bag with another batch of threats against the mother of his child.
— And here, Sariya, is your hair that your son will see. I will leave them on purpose. And you can never tell him how decent you are , the video says.
After the incident, a brother came to Sariya. The girl was hospitalized, he stayed with his nephews in an apartment where his sister's hair was scattered everywhere. And on the kitchen set lay the same scissors with which she was cut.
— With these scissors for cutting fish. This not normal. It was possible to kill with such scissors, - says a relative of the victim.
Sariya woke up in the hospital until 30 November. During this time, she was also not left alone. Valery, as she recalls, visited the ward and arranged a concert - he tried to find out where the children were, although it was said that no one was allowed to visit her. The man, fortunately, left with nothing.
She wrote another statement to the police, but Valery got away with it. According to Aliyeva, the people in uniform did not find any grounds for his detention, despite frightening correspondence, recordings of conversations, and finally a severe beating. The situation looks doubly doubtful also because she was not allowed to take pictures of the submitted applications, recalls the interlocutor of the editorial office. Whether they were recorded at all is unclear.
Z Sariya Aliyeva’s statement written after the beating
One day, Sariya found a funeral-themed "gift" under her door. Someone put two red carnations under the door. The girl took this as another warning.
"Gift" under the door. Sariya Aliyeva discovered carnations
― Before I could leave the hospital, he kicks down the doors again. He threatened to cut us with an ax and come in and kill us. He said on the phone: next time I will take your life away , says Aliyeva.
Meanwhile, the security forces, as Sariya describes the situation, ignore the alarm signals, and Valery walks free and continues to nightmare her.
- I can't calmly take my child to kindergarten. He came and wanted to pick him up. But we were lucky and he didn't make it. The manager said that he was not deprived of his rights, therefore no one could forbid him to come for his son.
Now he wants to take the child away. She goes to the guardianship authorities and says that I am a bad mother. However, in personal correspondence he mentioned that he did not need me or Samson, and his values had changed dramatically. The child has a trauma - he does not sleep at night and cries, - the interlocutor describes the situation.
Now Sariya is guarded when she leaves work. Aliyeva only goes outside with a spray can and uses a taxi so that she is not caught or killed anywhere.
― Valery uses drugs, as I found out. The brother offered to inspect the apartment, because he was embarrassed by the behavior of the roommate. Found banned substances in the kitchen. We threw it all away so that in case of something they would not hang it on me. I've never used anything like that, I don't even drink alcohol. Life has become a real nightmare - I can neither live nor work, but I still need to be treated.
He calls me, but I don't pick up the phone from him. I can have 178 missed from him. He hasn't been here for two days now. But guardianship terrorizes me and demands to bring my son, as he wants to see him. After everything he did, they openly told me: “He beat you, so what? After all, he didn’t touch the child” , recalls Aliyeva.
They met at the police station one day. Sariya came there with her mother. As she recalls, in the office she was openly thrown the most terrible phrase that can be heard: "I will take your life." In response to this, the aggressor received a mild reprimand from the district police officer, who simply threatened him with handcuffs.
A series of threats led Sariya to the editorial office of Notepad. The girl recorded a video message.
For Sariya, every calm day is like a holiday.