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Read online “The first 12 months as a mother. About the most important”, Olga Alexandrova – LitRes

Foreword

There is a huge number of books on the development, upbringing, health and care of children. In any bookstore, you will see at least 10-15 titles with chubby babies staring from the covers. All these books are very similar in that they contain information about the norms of growth, weight, development and are associated with instructions for the child. How he should develop and gain weight, in what order his teeth should grow, how and what else he should. Often the advice in such books comes down to instructions: what mother needs to do, how she should behave in a given period of time. Often the authors of these numerous instructions, adhering to different approaches, contradict each other, and the mother, wanting to do “the right way”, gets confused in their recommendations. She is seized with anxiety, she does not understand what is right and what is not. My task in this book is to show that there is no instruction for a child. Why? nine0005

The answer is obvious: all children are different, and all mothers are different, and fathers are different, and they have different life circumstances, different family histories, and over the generations, families have accumulated different emotions that can affect the baby. Therefore, what is good for your child, for your family in a unit of time, right here and now, only you know. No one can understand this better than you: not a sleep and nutrition specialist, not a psychologist, not a pediatrician, not a midwife. You are the most important expert on your child. You all know, you only need to get a certain amount of information and learn how to use it flexibly, listening to your baby. And most importantly: you need to feel confident in the role of a mother, accept the fact that mistakes are possible, that it will not work out perfectly, that you need to learn to feel yourself and your child. In fact, it all comes down to a constant search for balance, to choosing what is best to do right here and now. nine0005

To better understand how difficulties in raising and caring for a baby are related to the mother's condition, imagine a comet. Almost all the problems that we notice in a child - with sleep, nutrition, physical and emotional development, well-being - are symptoms, a comet's tail, something that is obvious and noticeable to everyone. But the cause of the problems usually lies elsewhere. At first glance, it seems that the mother simply does not have the necessary skills and does not know well enough how to put the child to sleep, how to feed, swaddle, bathe, and in order to fill the gap, she turns to books, specialists, forums on the Internet. But it's not just about knowledge. The comet itself - the main cause of difficulties with sleep, feeding, parenting - consists in the fact that the mother is worried, she is not confident in herself as a mother, therefore does not feel the needs of the child . Trying to do everything right, according to the instructions, mom does not see or hear his signals. Such a seemingly simple, but non-trivial answer. Unfortunately, few people think about it. Of course, maternal anxiety is partly due to the fact that a woman simply does not know how to find an approach to a child, how to establish a connection with him. Moreover, the worse the child sleeps and eats, the more anxious the mother. And the more anxious the mother, the worse the baby sleeps and eats. The circle closes. But you can open it if you start with yourself, with your emotional state, with the awareness of your emotional weaknesses, unresolved problems, expectations from the baby and from yourself as a mother. nine0005

Previously, there were no books on the care and upbringing of a child. Mothers have been taking care of their children for centuries, millennia without any books or specialists! Have you ever wondered why there have been countless of them lately, why there are so many experts helping mothers take care of the baby? Because the anxiety that arises in a modern mother prevents her from doing the main thing that can be in her union with the baby: understand her child, read his signals, feel him, correctly perceive his emotional state and remain calm herself. Why did this subtle and important connection disappear? Why has the role of mother become so complicated and the birth of a child divides life into “before” and “after”? nine0005

Our ancestors did not live in separate apartments in small families, but in communities. At first, ancient people gathered in caves, then they settled in communities, forming villages. A young mother has never been alone with her child for a long time. The community included older and younger relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, countrymen. A person, being and developing in the conditions of such a community, lost one hundred percent individuality, he was part of the collective self, a member of the community, and he himself developed to a lesser extent as a person. But this way of life had its advantages. A woman from childhood adopted the experience of previous generations. After giving birth, she was always in society and never broke away from communication or work. Her way of life with the advent of the child practically did not differ from the previous one: she did not fall into isolation, her life did not stop. And now many modern women say: “My life stopped with the advent of a child, froze at some point ... I lost my former self.” And what she is now, who she is now, the young mother cannot understand and realize. She is uncomfortable in this new role, as in someone else's shoes. Our great-great-grandmothers, unlike us modern women, could always get help and emotional support from their “community” and felt quite natural in the role of a mother, the appearance of a child was another normal life stage. nine0005

Not much time has passed. But a lot has changed in recent decades. We began to live apart. A young family immediately or almost immediately moves to separate housing - their own or rented. Newlyweds no longer need to coordinate their lives with the community, and this is a big plus. People begin to grow as individuals, develop much faster and brighter than under the communal system. But at the same time, a young mother, giving birth to a child, finds herself alone with him. And it turns out that being a mom is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, office work is much easier. Working as a mother has no days off and the end of the working day, there are no holidays and vacations, you cannot quit this job. And the rhythm of life has also changed, and the daily routine is subject to the regime of feeding, sleep and wakefulness of the baby. Now you can’t just get together and go out to people. Mom finds herself not just in physical isolation, but in an emotional vacuum, where there is no communication with friends, no interesting work projects, no meetings with colleagues, even reading your favorite books is now a luxury - a hopeless groundhog day from which it is impossible to escape. The situation is aggravated by the fact that the mother has absolutely no experience and no idea what to do with the child. True, he was not even during pregnancy, but then it did not frighten, because, in order to remove anxiety, the expectant mother went to childbirth preparation courses, to the school of young parents and was afraid only of labor pain. The future after the birth of the baby seemed to her beautiful and filled with only positive moments. In fact, everything is different. And mom understands that the knowledge she once received in the courses is not at all the same as the real experience she receives every day. nine0005

A child is born, difficulties begin. The very complexities are symptoms that are visible and glow like a big comet tail. And the comet itself, the true cause of these symptoms, is a small dot, almost indistinguishable against the black sky and bright tail. In the middle, between the visible tail and the barely noticeable nucleus of the comet, there is misunderstanding. Mom does not understand and does not feel the needs of the baby, who has only one way to communicate his needs - to scream. There is no manipulation or malicious action on the part of the baby, just a cry. Tears, whims, crying are his reaction to the dissatisfaction of needs or simply to some kind of trouble. nine0005

A mother who is emotionally and physically isolated, lacking experience and knowledge, is constantly in great anxiety, often unconscious. This anxiety does not allow her to read the signals of the baby, the child does not receive what he needs, is hysterical, the mother is even more nervous. Vicious circle. And the true reason for all this is that very small dot, the nucleus of a comet - a huge lack of confidence in my mother's abilities.

I really like the metaphor, which illustrates well what happens between a panicking mother and a crying baby. Imagine that you are on an exotic island where everything is new, incomprehensible, unfamiliar. With you is a guide whom you completely trust, because he is older than you, more experienced in appearance and probably (unlike you) knows what to expect, where to go, where to get food, where to find lodging for the night. But soon you notice that your guide starts to behave strangely, looks scared and confused. He rushes from side to side, then grabs objects, then puts them down, then screams and cries, and then hugs and kisses you. How would you feel with such a fussy, insecure and inconsistent guide? And it's the only one you can trust! I think you would hardly be comfortable and calm next to such a person. nine0005

For a baby, mother is a guide in the new world. The behavior and feelings of the child depend on how confident the mother is, how she feels in motherhood. If the mother feels anxiety, lack of self-confidence, the same is experienced by the child. Until the age of seven, there is a very strong bond between a child and a mother. The younger the child, the stronger this bond. There are no filters on it, it is like a beam from the head of the mother to the head of the child and back. But since the woman is stronger and more mature than the baby, then her signals are stronger. nine0005

Psychologists believe that up to the age of seven, all children's difficulties are not problems of the child, but problems of his environment. The older the child gets, the further he moves away from his parents, the more elements of his own personality appear in him and the larger the filters and barriers from your head to his become. But at the age of up to the year we are talking about, the connection is so strong and direct that when the mother is worried, the child is also worried. You, the mother, are the guide for your child! If you are not confident in yourself, then your child is ten times more afraid. In this world, on this planet, he is new: he knows nothing, has not seen anything, and has no idea whether he will survive at all! nine0005

What causes mom's anxiety? In addition to ignorance and inexperience, the most common reason is the complex of an excellent student, or the complex of an ideal mother. Almost all women who studied well, worked successfully, always knew what to do, and if they didn’t know, then read smart books and instructions, suffer from it. During pregnancy, some of them took courses, studied a sea of ​​literature on child care, preparing to pass their most important motherhood exam with an A. But something went wrong. The excellent student gave herself a deuce (at best, a three) and said: “You have to be an ideal mother, but I can’t cope.” nine0005

I want to tell you a big secret: a child does not need a perfect mother! "Why?" - you ask. Because you are already the best mom in the world. If you were to ask your one-month-old or one-year-old child: “Do you think your mother is good or not?” - and he could speak, then he, surprised at the question, would answer that he has the most beautiful mother in the world. Already now you are the best mother for your child, there is no one better than you for him. He knows you, even before his birth you were a couple, a single whole, and he does not need any other mother. Yes, and you are unlikely to agree that some other “ideal” mother takes your place next to the baby. So your number one job is not to try to be the perfect mother. There are no perfect mothers, fathers and children. That is why a child does not need a perfect mother. If you suddenly had a one in a billion micro chance of being the perfect parent for your child, that would be far worse than if you were just being a good enough mom. nine0005

Donald Winnicott coined the term "good enough mother" in his excellent book Little Children and Their Mothers. You just have to be a good enough mother. And you are already a good enough mother because you are reading this book. Bad mothers do not read any books, because they leave the child in the care of the state.

Why not be perfect? If a child has an unattainable image of an ideal mother in front of his eyes, can he accept that people can be wrong and wrong? Will he be able to learn to correct his mistakes, will he be able to live up to expectations and become as perfect as his mother? Hardly. When we pretend to be perfect, we want the child to grow up to be perfect. And these are already inflated expectations that destroy harmony in relations between people and within the person himself, because he will always feel not good enough. nine0005

You don't have to be perfect, but if you don't succeed, you should never consider yourself bad. This is unfair and destructive. Self-blame drumming in the head of a woman suffering from "bad mother syndrome", cutting off the connection between her and her child, preventing her from feeling her baby.

The first year of a baby's life is always difficult, and we will talk about this later, dwelling in detail on which month and what to pay attention to. But in the chapters of this book you will not find instructions for the child, you will not learn about the magic buttons that turn on the “correct” mode of operation of the baby, you will not find the “correct” way to raise a child. With the help of this book, we will work on your self-confidence as a mother, because you are the best expert on your child, you know everything: what, how, why and for what he needs. But this knowledge must be awakened so that you begin to trust yourself and hear your baby. nine0005

I will provide you with valuable information and practical advice that will help you deal with the difficulties you encounter more easily and quickly. Once you start seeing positive results, you will feel much more confident. Working with the tail of a comet, we will deal with the comet itself: the less problems remain in the tail, the calmer it becomes in the nucleus. Throughout the book, we will follow the main thing - your emotional state, because sleep, appetite, development, the health of the child and your relationship with him depend on it. You will learn to listen to your baby, filter the advice you receive, and not follow someone else's instructions. And most importantly, you will learn how to use knowledge flexibly, adapt it to your situations, get used to the constant search for balance. nine0005

Why did I decide to write this book? Because after the release of my first book, Positive Parenting. Healthy sleep and proper care ”, my clients and readers began to ask even more questions about the life of a baby. This is clear. The first year of life is infinitely valuable for both mother and child. At this time, not only the foundations of his physical and intellectual development are laid, but also the most important basic psychological attitudes about himself. Who am I? Is it right that I exist in this world? Am I good or bad, loved or rejected? Can I or can't I? What is my relationship with my mother? This is extremely important, since this is the very first experience of a relationship and a lot depends on it in the future life of a new person. What kind of world is this: friendly or hostile, abundant or miserly, does it accept me or not? Oddly enough, all these global life-affirming attitudes are formed mainly in the first year of a person's life, remaining an unconscious base, the foundation on which the entire future psychological structure of the personality is built. nine0005

I want the start of your relationship, the first year of your life together, to be as successful as possible, and the base formed during this period to be the most solid of all possible options. To get such a result, it is important to remember that almost all normal mothers have an excellent student complex and an ideal mother syndrome. Many women go through insecurity, self-flagellation, doubt. There are no ideal mothers, there is no perfect start, you can’t do everything perfectly, five plus. We need to get away from evaluation, from comparison, and our task is to keep a balance between the two extremes. The first extreme is the attitude “Damn it all, it still doesn’t work out, I’ll do it as it turns out.” This attitude is accompanied by feelings of guilt, ashes on one's head, and labeling oneself as "I'm a bad mother." The second extreme consists of “I want to be perfect, make the child the happiest, smartest, most successful” and the willingness to forget about myself and my life, reach a neurosis and become depressed. I'll tell you a big secret. nine0009 How to make your child happy? You just need to set an example! Only a happy mother has a happy child. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, what sacrifices you make for the sake of your child, renouncing your needs, desires, goals (as they say, laying yourself on the altar of motherhood), the child will not become happy from this. Children learn through imitation. Make yourself happy, then your child will be happy. This is what we have to work on.

From the book you will learn how to make the first year of life with a child very happy and as simple as possible. You will understand that motherhood is not a burden, but happiness, if you accept the fact that life does not end with the advent of a baby, but only changes. It will never be like before, because the child is completely dependent on you. And how his life and your relationship will develop is largely determined by you. The hardest thing is to take responsibility and grow up, having gone through, perhaps, more than one crisis of internal growth. But all these crises are natural and necessary. nine0005

So, in this book there are no instructions for the child, no magic pills, but a lot of practical advice and knowledge that you can adapt to yourself. We will tune in to the fact that you are the main expert on your child and no one knows him better than you. We have to work with your emotional state, because it affects absolutely everything. We will lay the foundation for your relationship with your baby. I hope that it will turn out to be strong, reliable and that a beautiful strong building will grow on it for the whole future life of your child. nine0005

Part 1

Throughout the book, you and I will have to solve several very important tasks so that motherhood is a joy, not a burden. The most important of them is to increase your confidence in the role of a mother. Another important task is the formation of a reliable internal psychological core in a child. This core will remain with the baby for his entire life and will influence the formation of personality, character, relationships with other people, that is, his fate. The creation of a reliable internal psychological core consists in the formation of internal attitudes: I am, and this is good, I am loved, I am good, I can - all this at a certain stage at every age is very relevant and especially important in moments of crisis. A neonatal crisis, a crisis of one year, three and seven years, adolescence, a midlife crisis ... The more reliable, holistic and positive the core, the easier it is for a person to go through crises, the easier and more joyful it is to live and the more happy he feels. nine0005

Chapter 1

Family crisis

As you probably already understood, the birth of a baby is not only a great joy, but also a great stress for the child, for the parents and the whole family. All families go through the same stages. At first you were on your own - a woman and a man. Then they united, formed a dyad, created a couple, which at the beginning of the relationship went through quarrels, discontent, distribution of roles and drawing up their own vowels and unspoken rules. You decide who is responsible for what. They agreed that if someone is late for dinner, they must warn by phone, fixing this ritual with a vowel rule. Without talking, they realized that if the husband came angry, it was better not to touch him before dinner, creating an unspoken rule. And everything went on a knurled track until the child was born. With the birth of a little man, almost every couple admits the first and main error, assuming that everything will remain as it was , at the stage of the dyad. But when this very plus one person or plus two people (if you are lucky enough to become parents of twins) is born, new roles appear. Now you are not just on your own, you have not only the role of a wife or spouse, but also the role of a parent, and each individually receives another role - mom or dad. Thus, with the addition of roles, the structure of the family, its composition changes, and, therefore, the rules must change. The picture below illustrates the new roles well: the square is a man, the circle is a woman, the bottom square is a child, in this case a boy; roles are indicated by numbers. nine0005

You can imagine another picture: first a woman appears on it, after the wedding a man stands next to her - a dyad is formed, and the role of a wife is added to the role of a woman. A child was born - a triad was created, two more roles were added: parents together, each separately - mom and dad.

It is important for the couple to re-negotiate again and do it as soon as possible, and preferably in advance. When you first got married, the stage of forming the rules took, for example, a year, but now there is no such amount of time. You need to speak and preferably write down who is responsible for what, who does what, then life will become much easier. Understanding that the rules are changing will make life much easier. nine0005

Task

Write here what new rules you would like to introduce into your daily family life.

For example, dad is in charge of groceries, or now you order groceries online. Highlight five "pain" points, because of which you are the most in conflict in a couple, and write down possible solutions in the rules.

Then ask your spouse to do the same, compare and discuss the final version. nine0005

You will be surprised how much easier it is to say everything, and not to swear every time about the same thing.

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Monthly development of a child in the first year of life. Opinion of a pediatric neurologist – CSM Zdravitsa

The first 12 months of a child's life. For the newborn himself and his young parents, this is a whole life. Every month brings new skills, new experiences, new expectations. Our pediatric neurologist Roman Sergeevich Popovich told in an interesting and humorous way what to expect, what to pay attention to, and what to do when the most important person in the world appeared in your life - your baby.

Development and skills of the child of the 1st month of life

Childbirth is stressful. First of all, for the child. The heavier they are, the greater the stress. And operational childbirth is generally prohibitive stress. In terms of the impact on the child's senses, they can be compared with ejection from a combat fighter at cruising speed.

And then the child was born, and then work on you. Eat yourself, digest what you eat, breathe on your own. It only seems to us adults that it is easy. But in fact, more than 50 muscles are involved in the act of breathing, which did not work much before. nine0005

So it turns out that during the first month the child adapts to the world around him. In fact, it does not live, but survives.

“Then why do you need a neurologist at 1 month?” - you ask. And then, to answer whether the adaptation has passed or we are still waiting. After all, the forces of the body are different for everyone. Typically, postpartum stress lasts 2-3 weeks after vaginal delivery and 3-4 weeks after operative delivery.

So, how does a neurologist know that a child has adapted. Very simple. The child develops purposeful movements:

• tries to raise his head while lying on his stomach and turns it to the side;
• fixes his gaze on the object and tries to follow it, but for a very short time;
• tries to turn his head towards a voice or a loud sound;
• freezes upon hearing an adult speak;
• tries to make sounds when spoken to;

i.e. the child has the beginnings of research activity. The child begins to take an interest in the world around him. And this is the most important thing, because curiosity is the main motivator for brain development. nine0005

Development and skills of a child of the 2nd month of life

Astronauts say: “Five minutes is a normal flight.” We have almost the same. The first month outside of uterine life had barely ended, and the baby’s brain already understood that, firstly, everything is not so bad, and, secondly, if you want to live, know how to spin. And the child begins to push the boundaries of his space and "build" the adults around him.

“Ugh, how rude,” you might think as you read these lines. But this is the truth of life. The entire second month of a child's life goes under the flag of exploration and conquest. In the best traditions of Robinson Crusoe. nine0005

Just imagine, during the second month of life a child learns:

• to keep his head in the position lying on his stomach for a long time and in a vertical position for a short time. And at this time he is actively considering;
• surrounding space with prolonged visual concentration;
• begins to open his fist, which means he is preparing to grab and hold objects;
• begins to isolate new sounds against the background of others, smiles at the speech of an adult; nine0123
• makes sounds spontaneously;
• begins to understand that they are fed at certain intervals, and if you shout, they will pick you up, warm you up and feed you. And most importantly, crying becomes diverse: special for each situation. And parents should understand when a child cries from hunger, and when from boredom.

Well, as mentioned above, the second month of a child's life is a very important stage, because at this moment the foundation of intellect and socialization is laid, and you cannot build a strong house without a good foundation. nine0005

Development and skills of a child of the 3rd month of life

Time flies. They didn’t have time to look back, and the kid had already looked around in this world and began to command. And he makes plans to capture space. Yes, yes, this is the natural desire of any living being to push the boundaries.

But before becoming the ruler of the universe, you need to understand how this can be done, and also find out who is a friend, and with whom you need to keep an eye out. And the child does this for the entire third month of life, continuing to improve in previously acquired skills and abilities. nine0005

So, what does our little conqueror of the world do in the third month of life:

• lies on his stomach leaning on his forearms;
• raises his hands above the horizon;
• holds the toy put into the hand, examines it and puts it in the mouth;
• watches how the hands move, tries to control their movements with the eyes, tries to grab an object, and sometimes it works out;
• begins to single out the mother from those around her, becomes wary of unfamiliar faces and places; nine0123
• recognizes the voice of the mother and begins to pronounce vowel sounds in response to the appeal;
• pays attention to the speaker and begins to emotionally react to it;
• changes the intonation of his voice, laughs out loud.

Thus, in the third month of life, the child begins to form the recognition of "friend or foe" and the basics of manual (manual) skills.

Another important moment in the development of a child is the beginning change in muscle tone, from intrauterine to extrauterine. And until the final change in muscle tone, massage, without clear medical indications, can disrupt the correct pace of development of the baby. This means that if parents want to give their child a massage, you first need to consult a doctor. nine0005

Development and skills of the child of the 4th month of life

Do not rush! The development of the baby goes in waves: peaks of development alternate with lulls. To a certain extent, of course. During a period of calm, the child accumulates strength, so that later he can rush forward and upward again.

And four months is just such a period of calm. Pause. Small but important. At this time, the child hones the acquired skills. Improves them. Brings to automatism. And therefore, we exhale and enjoy parenthood.

At the fourth month of life, the child has support on a full foot. Now he does not need it yet, but it is a very important skill in the future.

He becomes very curious: he fixes his eyes on an object and examines it for a long time.

Begins to distinguish not just sounds, but voices. Highlight voice intonation. When an adult appears, a bright “revival complex” is quickly evoked in a baby. Actively buzzes.

And of course, cognitive activity begins to develop. The child actively uses his hands: feels toys, slaps on a blanket or pillow. nine0005

So, until the teeth come out (and we perfectly understand that it hurts like hell), the child is happy and happy.

Development and skills of the child of the 5th month of life

Well, what? Have a rest? Gained strength? Then go ahead for new achievements and sensations.

Perhaps the most vivid impression for an infant in the first six months of life is teething. He had not come across anything like this since the birth.

And it would seem that taking into account the pain and sleepless nights, the development of the child will slow down a little. But no. The fifth month of life is full of surprises and wonderful discoveries. nine0005

Strengthened muscles allow the child to actively raise his head while lying on his back, roll over on his side, and sit with support while holding his head steadily. This means that the cervical curve of the spine is formed and the thoracic curve is being formed.

And since everything is fine with the neck, then the nerves of the shoulder girdle are actively working and developing. And the child enjoys it. Grabs small items. He brings them to his eyes and examines them for a long time. Plays with hanging toys. And you can do this for a long time.

At this age, the child's knowledge of the world through the game is clearly formed. Shake the toy - it rattled. Shake harder - louder sound. Funny.

The child begins to examine not only what is within the outstretched arm, but also objects located in different places. Keeping your eyes on new objects.

Active hum becomes long, melodious. Often appears in response to an appeal to him. Sounds also attract attention, and the child even turns to a loud sound if he is not busy with something important. nine0005

But that's not all. In response to the diversity of the world, the child gives a variety of reactions. Crying becomes modulated. A smile appears at the silent adult. The child begins to distinguish between gestures and facial expressions.

And like the icing on the cake - the emergence of the first self-service skills. The child starts eating with a spoon. And that means new sensations and joys ahead. Yes, yes, this broccoli puree looks very harmonious on kitchen wallpaper.

Development and skills of the child of the 6th month of lifea

Can you imagine!? Your baby is already six months old. Six months!

During this time he learned a lot, grew up, got stronger and...

Decided to take a tactical pause in development.

Honestly.

The sixth month of life is the polishing of previous acquired skills and preparation for a new breakthrough in development.

But even in such a kind of timeout, the baby has something to please you.

First, at this age he is able to sit passively. And this significantly stimulates visual perception. After all, sitting, you can see much more than lying down. And the child begins to actively look at large pictures. nine0005

Secondly, he actively uses his hands. Learns to stretch the arm forward while lying on the stomach. Supports the bottle from which he drinks. Actively explores the rattle and looks for its use: it rattles, knocks, throws and even tries to eat it.

And finally, thirdly, the emergence of differentiated emotions. Yes, yes, it is at this age that a child begins to enjoy familiar faces and be afraid of strangers. Recognize and rejoice if someone calls him by name, and be alert if he hears an unfamiliar name. And like a cherry on a cake, babble appears, and echolalia (repetition of sounds and sometimes syllables when addressing). nine0005

Development and skills of a child of the 7th month of life

Time flies, we didn’t have time to look back, and the child is already seven. ..

Don’t be afraid, we are talking about months.

After a short technical break, the child again increases the pace of his development. By this age, the child perfects a number of skills acquired earlier. And if they don't, it's very, very bad.

I'm talking about turns. By seven months, the baby should be able to roll over from back to stomach, from stomach to back, and do it on both sides. This is a decreed period of development. The absence of turns in seven months is a reason to sound the alarm and run to the specialists. nine0005

But enough of the sad stuff.

We are talking about the joy of parenthood. About how wonderfully the child develops.

We are all waiting with you, the year he will begin to conquer space. Well. We waited. By seven months, the child begins to crawl on his stomach, using his hands. Not far, of course. But the main thing is to start!

Also, the child grows by playing and the game grows with him. Look, at seven months old, he grabs a toy from different positions and twists and turns it in every possible way.

And after all, not only a toy, but everything that can be reached. And he has fun throwing toys, bottles and watching your reaction. And after all, it's so exciting to watch how mom gives the rattle to the bed for the thirtieth time.

“Interestingly, mother, but for the thirty-first time you will have enough strength and patience. Bach! And we smile...

But don't do it like that. Don't wag your finger at me, Mom. I know what this gesture is. Yes, yes, and I know how to show my emotions. I can squeak thinly like a mosquito and growl menacingly like a bear. nine0005

And there are more and more syllables in my vocabulary.

But I can't ask for a drink. But if you, mother, hold a cup, I will drink from it with pleasure. In vain, you gave it to me. Oh, in vain... Bang!!!

Where to? Where are you going with the cup? Give it back! We played so well!!! A-a-a-a-a-ah!!!!”

The development and skills of a child of the 8th month of life

So, we can only dream of peace. ..

The child gradually strives for the stage "in every little child and boy and girl, there are three hundred grams of explosives, or even half a kilo." In a belligerent way, but with the tenacity of a true hero. And in the pauses between crawling, he can sit down, from a lying position through his side, rest. Or even get on all fours. Stay like that, think. nine0005

But sitting is better. The truth often falls over, but, on the other hand, he has already learned to spread his arms in order to maintain balance or protect himself when falling.

And the child also understood what the thumb is for. And he actively uses it in grasping objects. Look, he no longer just holds the toy, but also knocks with it. A couple more days and the whole house will be filled with music: the child will beat an object against an object. And you need to hide things more reliably, because he has learned to recognize familiar objects by their parts, and remove obstacles on the way to the goal. nine0005

The child has become more curious and looks for familiar objects that you name. And he began to react differently to people: to those whom he sees often, rarely, or, in general, for the first time. He actively reacts when you talk to him, fulfills the simplest requests: when dressing, he gives his arm or leg. Repeats syllables in babble. In general, as always, I am happy and happy...

Development and skills of a child of the 9th month of life

Not in vain! Oh, it’s not in vain that the school year starts in September... From the ninth month. nine0005

Yes, by the ninth month, the development of the child allows him to learn and have fun. And what: he knows how to crawl on all fours, which means he can get to new knowledge. He listens to music, which means it will be more fun on the road. And if you pick it up, it will start dancing to this music.

Holds, bites and chews pieces of semi-solid food, which means you can have bread and a banana for a snack. Does it really look like a school lunch?

Well, and most importantly, at this age, the child begins to imitate adults, easily making contact with them at the game, speech and emotional level. This means that you can teach him some actions, for example, "High five", or more complex ones, without gestural reinforcement. Or new syllables. nine0005

Or games - find a toy, for starters, you can hide it in front of him, of course, he will quickly find it, but he will understand the essence of the game.

And at small breaks, believe me, the child will find something to do. After all, he already knows how to grab, push, throw toys, and can even put a cube on a cube.

So go ahead and with the song, crawling to new knowledge!

And wave your hand?

Development and skills of a child of the 10th month of life

Imagine: in the morning, you are sitting, in a rare moment of free time, drinking tea and suddenly you hear ringing laughter, what is your reaction? nine0005

Correct. Go and see what's there.

Come into the room, and there... your miracle is standing by the mirror and poking his finger at his reflection and laughing. And you start laughing with him. They laughed, your baby crashed on the “fifth point” - he learned to get up just five minutes ago, but he hasn’t yet sat down from a standing position. But he didn’t get upset, he confidently crawled up to you, stood at your feet, and you understood: no, he didn’t dream. And then he grabbed you by the hem with two fingers, and not with his palm, as before. Another surprise. Nice. Well, now it will be more fun to brush your teeth and wash your face - in the mirror we will now recognize ourselves and mom (or dad). nine0005

We rejoice from the bottom of our hearts, we also cry in other things, and we get angry, so there are definitely no doubts left. And the child can now point his finger and call people and objects in separate syllables, not always the first, but not for long. And since he can poke and name, it means he can recognize and show, which means, go ahead, we learn to know the world.

Do not forget about toys, now the child can be taught not only to scatter them, but also to collect them.

Development and skills of the child of the 11th month of life

Your baby is growing, growing.

Now he can get up and stand on his own. This is undoubtedly an important skill, but not the most important thing at this age.

“Yes, how is that?” - you will say surprised, or maybe a little indignantly.

And just like that! Undoubtedly, this is a very noticeable skill, but not the most important.

“What then? That he learned to wave goodbye?"

No, of course not. It is very sweet and fills the heart with joy. But this is not the most important skill. nine0005

Give up?

"Well, okay, yes" - you will agree. There are few options - to play with two toys, put a cube on a cube, string rings on a pyramid pin, understand the word "no".

No.

The most important skill that a child develops at eleven months is the purposefulness of activity. The child begins to anticipate the result of his actions and strive to achieve it.

"I see the goal - I don't see the barriers" - this is just about them, about the kids. Therefore, the cube on the cube, and the rings on the pin, and your "no". nine0005

Agree, being able to set a goal and strive for it is the most important skill, and not only at eleven months, but in general, throughout life!

Development and skills of a child of the 12th month of life

Happy Birthday!!!

Your baby has come a long way in a year! Yes, that's right, with a capital letter.

From a "screaming" person, he turned into an upright person, mostly with support and support, but there are already the first attempts to take independent steps.

It's time to celebrate and give presents. And more, more. Your baby can already take them in both hands, and even grab them with his teeth. nine0005

Of course, the best present is a book! With cardboard pages that the baby can already turn over.

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