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How to Grow A Baby — amy j hammer

“This is a rich and comprehensive resource for new parents on how to create a healthy and holistic environment from conception to birth for your growing baby. I wish I had read this fascinating book when I was going through my pregnancies!” —Angela Hanscom, Author of Balanced & Barefoot, Founder of TimberNook 

“How to Grow a Baby is a wonderful guide for pregnancy. We happily share it with all our clients now and are thankful there is such a well-rounded holistic guide available. It's truly a gem of a book!” —Morgan Miller CPM LDM LM Midwife at Soft Corner Midwifery

“How to Grow a Baby is one of the best modern preparing-for-parenting resources I’ve seen in a long time. Amy has struck the perfect balance of artistry, science, and storytelling to create a book that will help all families start right where they are on their parenting journey. I love that she created space to speak about the importance of processing and sharing your birth story, listening to your body as you heal during the postpartum season, and how you can be gentle with yourself and others as you navigate the rhythms of new parenthood. The 4th trimester is often overlooked, but not in this book. I’m excited to offer this amazing resource to midwifery clients here in Puerto Rico!”—Anjelica Malone, MSM, CLEC, CPM, Midwife

“How To Grow a Baby is a beautiful and truly holistic touchstone for any birthing person on the journey from conception to parenthood. It was a trusted companion during my evolution into motherhood and it is a pleasure to share the wisdom in this book with others who are navigating this incredible path.” —Lizzy Moran, Certified Hormone Health Coach, RYT 200, Founder of Well Women, LLC

"In a time when much of the advice aimed at new parents is either driven by fear or informed by outdated studies, How to Grow A Baby is a refreshing alternative—an honest and reassuring read that pulls equally from modern science, personal experience, and the time-honored practices of cultures around the world. Reading this book is like having a knowledgeable friend guide you with humor and aplomb through the changes, challenges, and joys of parenthood." —Krista Langlois, journalist and Outside magazine contributor 

"Engaging, intelligent, illuminating, and entertaining, this book provides a wealth of practical information for readers embarking on the exciting but often intimidating journey of pregnancy and childbirth. Expertly braiding candid personal narrative with reliable science and seasoning her stories with humor and genuine insight, Amy Hammer is the most supportive and companionable guide imaginable. Anyone interested in walking a healthy path through the physiological, emotional, and psychological landscape of pregnancy will find this work indispensable. How to Grow a Baby is a spectacular example of popular science writing at its very best." —Michael P. Branch, author of Raising Wild

“Amy’s beautiful book for mothers not only focuses on body literacy and understanding exactly what’s happening through each stage of motherhood, but it also does something mothers truly need. Rather than following the common formula in today’s literary culture of putting pressure on mothers to buy into a specific point of view, this book presents the information in a way that empowers women to make informed decisions of their own and follow their intuition. As a postpartum doula I find this book to be a must for every mother’s bookshelf. “
—Rachael Hollinger of NOURIS(her)

“This book could not have come out at a more perfect time for me as a first-time mother. Amy Hammer's eloquent narrative style presenting evidence-based, practical, and insightful information is visualized beautifully and memorably through Michelle Lassaline's art. The two together make for a book that you almost forget is giving you very real and practical information because it is so fluidly written and visually stimulating. It helped ease many of the fears I had about becoming pregnant, now being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a child from what to eat, to what products to use on my skin, to how to stay active, to the labor and delivery itself. I now have a lot less fear surrounding pregnancy and have this book to thank.” —K. Dattoria, Speech Therapist

7 tips for parents on how to raise an unspoiled and grateful child

September 1, 2015 Adviсe

Every parent strives to raise a smart, capable, kind, sympathetic child, but not everyone succeeds. Children grow up spoiled, capricious, arrogant. In a word, spoiled. In this article, we will advise what to do so that this does not happen to your child.

We, as responsible parents, want to raise our child as prepared for independent life in this unpredictable world. But let's be honest: what many people mean by "preparing for independent living" is just a good formal education. From an early age, the child is taught mathematics, writing, science and other sciences, and a little later they are sent to a strong school. Of course, all this is useful and will definitely come in handy in adulthood, but is it enough to raise an unspoiled child?

Let's count how many times have you seen smart and educated children who are obsessed with themselves and who are not even interested in the opinions, desires and interests of those closest to them? How many times have you come across intelligent children who do not put their parents in anything (disrespect, rudeness, arrogance, arrogance, lies)? And how many times have you met excellent students who, already in adulthood, are completely dependent on their parents? Such children are often called spoiled. And the truth is that there is no such gene that could "spoil" the child. The only ones who can do this are his parents.

It is worth understanding one thing: a sympathetic, caring, disinterested child does not happen by chance, it is only the merit of his parents. Because it is they who have a key influence on the baby. Your child is a reflection of yourself. Therefore, the best advice for raising an ideal child is to be a good example for him. But if everything was so simple, then there would be no problems with education.

Here are some tips that can help you raise a generous, caring and responsible person. Before you read them, ask yourself what character traits do you want to see in your child in a few years? Let your answers become your cherished goal that you will pursue while raising your child.

1. Love, but set boundaries

Raising an unspoiled child is always a balancing act between two extremes: love and limits, warmth and strictness, generosity and rejection.

Every morning ask yourself: "If I could teach my son (daughter) just one thing today, what would it be?" Check if the answer is consistent with your goals that you are pursuing in education. In the evening, ask a security question: “What did I teach my child today?”.

2. Stop patronizing!

Good parenting is not about making sure your child is happy. It's more about teaching him how to deal with setbacks, rejections, mistakes, and adversity.

Constantly shielding the child from anything that might cause frustration will not help him master this critical skill. This will not teach him to overcome difficulties, relying only on his own strength.

Stop patronizing your child. Give him the opportunity to learn to manage his life on his own, while mistakes are not so painful.

3. Learn to empathize

Unspoiled children are taught not to always put themselves first. Instead, they know how to take into account the opinions, desires and interests of the people around them (especially those close to them).

Empathy is an ability that enables a small person to think and look at what is happening from the position of another. This is the foundation for the development of such character traits as respect, restraint, kindness, selflessness.

4. Develop financial responsibility

One of our main tasks as parents is to teach a child to live self-reliantly. This means that we must teach him to manage his finances on his own, and not wait for endless handouts from his parents.

If you feel like a "golden ATM" for your kids, then closing your wallet is the smartest thing to do.

An uncorrupted child is one who understands the words "no" and "not now."

5. Say "no" without guilt

Constant satisfaction of the child's desires will not help to teach him that life will not always go according to his plan. Add the word "no" to your vocabulary and don't feel guilty about having to say it. Believe me, in the long run, your children will still be grateful to you for this.

6. Learn to give, not just receive

Give your children the opportunity to understand that they can change lives simply by giving or doing something for other people. Indeed, many of them do not even realize that this is possible.

Somewhere I came across an article that said that generous children are not only less selfish and more appreciative of others, but also happier in life.

One of the best ways to keep a child from selfishness is to periodically involve him in volunteer work that does not involve material rewards.

7. Replace "I" with "we"

Children are self-centered. They think that the world revolves only around them. They are more concerned with themselves and their own needs, and they do not pay attention to the opinions and desires of others. And in order not to let them get hung up only on themselves, you need to take them away from the endless “I-I-I” and teach them to think in the “we-we-we” format.

Here are some simple expressions you can use when talking to your child:

• Let's ask Masha what she would like to do?
• Remember, we always share!
• Ask your friend what he would like to play?
• Now it's your brother's turn.
• Let's help mom clean up the room.

Always try to emphasize "we".

Conclusion

Parenting is not a popularity contest! There will be many times when you will have to make a choice, and your child will not always like it. But if you have made a decision, follow it to the end.

Understand one important thing: you are responsible for your child, and he, in turn, needs you in order to grow up to be kind, caring, responsible and considerate of other people.

12 ways to raise smarter, more successful and happy children

1. Watch or read the news together and discuss it

Children should have at least some understanding of current issues, from politics to climate change. “Parents should watch the news with their children so that they are aware of issues that may be discussed in the classroom. Talking about important events will help students form their own opinions and develop critical thinking skills,” says Katherine Palmer, a teacher in Calgary, Canada.

2. Show how to deal with failure

Many feel frustrated when they fail, but the ability to keep going is an important skill for students. “Parents can help their children succeed by working with them to develop a growth-mindset approach to education. It will teach students to understand that mistakes are part of learning and should not be ashamed,” said Erin Thomson, an online teacher at Compass Charter School in California.

3. Instill good character traits

When children begin to strive to be good friends and surround themselves with worthy people at an early age, they are more likely to do the same in adulthood. “Teach your kids every day to be kind to others, to help the teacher, to notice a child in the playground who looks sad or lonely, and to keep him company,” advises Carl Roberts, Compass Regional Coordinator.

4. Make Internet use positive

“If your child uses social media, teach them to be a positive influence,” says child psychologist Rina B. Patel. She suggests using the abbreviation THINK ("think"): before posting a post on a social network, a student should ask himself whether it is T (true - "true"), H (helpful - "useful"), I (inspiring - "inspiring"). ”), N (necessary - “necessary”) and K (kind - “good”). If this is not the case, then he should revise the content of the post or refuse to publish it at all.

5. Praise for effort

According to Brian Galvin, a teacher at Varsity Tutors in Seattle, studies show that gifts for good grades don't have much effect on students. “When parents reward effort, enthusiasm, and a willingness to try new things (and possibly fail), kids are more likely to try hard,” he points out.

6. Back up your words with actions

“Parental support helps young people find their own source of strength. But it does not appear as a gift, it must be acquired on your own. For this reason, parents need the courage to let their children learn from their mistakes. Leading by example will help guide the student, verbal messages are less effective,” says Mary Jo Podgruski from the Academy of Adolescent Health.

7. Create a workspace for homework

Set a time and place for homework. “Students progress when they have a routine and can mentally prepare themselves for work,” says Francis Queller, a New York-based college admissions expert. He recommends exercising in a well-lit area with no distractions.

Photo: Unsplash

8. Let the children teach you

When you are excited about something, you want to tell the world about it - the same thing happens with children. “Permission to be a ″teacher″ will allow the student not only to tell what he learned at school, but also to enjoy the knowledge he has received. Celebrate every achievement your child has, no matter how big or small,” says April J. Lisbon, a Virginia school psychologist.

9.

How many times have you been asked to remember what it was like to be a child? There is a reason for this. “Play is children’s work, that’s how children learn about the world. They should come out of early life with a love of learning and play, and the ability to ask and answer questions. When kids do what they love, they will be more enthusiastic about more formal learning and personal challenges,” said Benjamin Newton, co-founder of New York-based child care company Vivvi.

10. Don't forget to take care of yourself

Self-care is not just a buzzword, it's something parents should practice daily. “You may not realize it, but your own anxiety affects the way a child sees the world. Often, taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for children,” notes Alyssa Ostern, a New Jersey psychologist.

11. Allow children to experience negative emotions

Parents often try to keep their children from any negative emotions.

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