How far along to feel baby kick
Baby movements during pregnancy | Pregnancy Birth and Baby
Baby movements during pregnancy | Pregnancy Birth and Baby beginning of content5-minute read
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An exciting landmark of pregnancy is when you first feel the sensation of your baby move. These movements are a sign that your baby is healthy and well.
Every baby is unique, it is important for you to get to know your baby’s individual movement pattern. At any point, if you are concerned about your babies movement pattern, please contact your midwife or doctor immediately. Do not wait until the next day.
When will I feel my baby moving?
You will start to feel your baby moving between 16 and 24 weeks of pregnancy. The location of your placenta will not affect this sensation. It is more common for women having their second or subsequent pregnancies to feel their baby move earlier.
If you have not felt your baby move by 24 weeks, you should contact your doctor or midwife.
What will my baby’s movement feel like?
The type of movement you feel will depend on what your baby is doing and their stage of growth and development. Each baby is different, with some more active than others.
The first sensations you feel may be a fluttering (like 'butterflies in your tummy'), swishing, rolling or tumbling sensation or a tiny kick. These early sensations are often called ‘quickening’. As your pregnancy progresses, the movements will become more distinct, and you will more easily feel their kicks, jabbing and elbowing.
How often should I feel my baby moving?
There is no set number of movements you should feel. As you start to feel your baby's movements more consistently, usually by 24 to 28 weeks of pregnancy, you will get to know what a normal pattern of movement is for you and your baby. You should then consistently feel your baby's movements right up until they are born and even during labour.
Babies tend to move more at certain times of day – they may be more active while you sleep, and sleep while you’re awake. Usually, unborn babies sleep for 20-40 minutes cycles (occasionally up to 90 minutes), and they don’t move when they’re asleep.
Should I track my baby’s movement?
There are no set number of movements a baby should have, so counting kicks or recording on a chart is no longer recommended.
It is important to make time regularly each day to notice your babies’ movements. If you are busy or not paying attention it can be easy to miss this very important signal from your baby. If you are busy or working, it may be helpful to set reminders for yourself to check in with your baby.
Common myths about baby movements
- It is not true that babies move less towards the end of pregnancy.
- Having something to eat or drink does not help stimulate your baby to move.
What should I do if my baby stops moving?
If you haven't felt any movement from your baby by 24 weeks, see your doctor or midwife.
At any stage of your pregnancy, if you are concerned about your baby's movements, contact your midwife or doctor immediately. Do not wait until the next day. A slowing down of movement may be a sign that your baby is unwell.
Your doctor or midwife will invite you into the hospital and check your baby’s heart rate using a CTG Machine. In some instances, you may also have an ultrasound.
What do I do if I have recurring concerns about my baby’s movements?
Remember you are the one who knows your baby’s movements best. It is important that whenever you are concerned about your baby’s movements to contact your doctor or midwife.
Contact your doctor or midwife again even if you have already seen them about your baby’s movements previously.
Speak to a maternal child health nurse
Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week.
Sources:
Australian Family Physician (Decreased fetal movements: a practical approach in primary care setting), Mater Mother's Hospital (Pregnancy – your baby’s movements and what they mean), Raising Children Network (16 weeks pregnant), Miracle Babies (Your baby’s movements), PSANZ SANDA (Baby's Movements), Red Nose (Decreased fetal movements (DFM)), Centre of Research Excellence in Stillbirth (Movement matters)Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.
Last reviewed: April 2022
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Fetal Movement - WebMD: When You Feel Baby Kick
Written by Stephanie Watson
Reviewed by Traci C. Johnson, MD on January 08, 2021
In this Article
- When Will I Feel My Baby Kicking?
- What Does the Baby's Kicking Feel Like?
- How Often Should I Feel My Baby Moving?
- Should I Monitor My Baby's Kicking?
- If You Don't Feel Your Baby Moving
- Timeline of Baby Movement
One of the most exciting moments in your pregnancy is when you feel those first little flutters of your baby kicking. These tiny movements reassure you that your baby is developing and help you feel closer to the little life inside of you.
When Will I Feel My Baby Kicking?
You should feel your baby's first movements, called "quickening," between weeks 16 and 25 of your pregnancy. If this is your first pregnancy, you may not feel your baby move until closer to 25 weeks. By the second pregnancy, some women start to feel movements as early as 13 weeks. You're more likely to feel baby move when you're in a quiet position, either sitting or lying down.
What Does the Baby's Kicking Feel Like?
Pregnant women describe their baby's movements as butterflies, nervous twitches, or a tumbling motion. At first, it may be hard to tell whether your baby has moved. Second- and third-time moms are more adept at distinguishing those first baby movements from gas, hunger pangs, and other internal motions.
By your second and third trimesters, the movements should be more distinct, and you'll be able to feel your baby's kicks, jabs, and elbows.
How Often Should I Feel My Baby Moving?
Early in your pregnancy, you may just feel a few flutters every now and then. But as your baby grows -- usually by the end of the second trimester -- the kicks should grow stronger and more frequent. Studies show that by the third trimester, the baby moves about 30 times each hour.
Babies tend to move more at certain times of the day as they alternate between alertness and sleep. They are usually most active between 9 p.m. and 1 a.m., right as you're trying to get to sleep. This surge in activity is due to your changing blood sugar levels. Babies also can respond to sounds or touch, and may even kick your partner in the back if you snuggle too close in bed.
Should I Monitor My Baby's Kicking?
Once your baby's movements are well established (usually by week 28), some doctors recommend keeping track of all those little punches, jabs, and kicks to make sure your baby is still developing the way they should. This is known as a fetal movement assessment, fetal kick count, or fetal movement counting.
Obstetricians recommend moms do fetal movement counts. While reduced movements or counts done at home can be worrisome, they may not be reliable. If you feel your baby is moving or kicking less often than normal, contact your doctor.
Counting is a lot harder when you have twins. You may not be able to tell which baby is moving. Even so, many doctors recommend it as a way to keep track.
If you are counting, it helps to chart your baby's kicks so that you can keep track of your baby's normal patterns of movement. To count movements, pick a time when your baby is usually most active (often, this is right after you've eaten a meal). Get into a comfortable position either sitting down in a comfortable chair or lying on your side. If you lie down, lie on your left side, so your baby will have better circulation.
Opinion varies as to how to count your baby's movements, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends noting the time it takes for your baby to make 10 movements. You should feel at least 10 movements within a 2-hour period.
If you can't feel 10 movements in 2 hours despite eating something and fully focusing on the baby's movements, call your doctor for advice on what to do next.
If You Don't Feel Your Baby Moving
If you haven't yet reached 25 weeks and don't feel your baby move, or you're not sure that what you're feeling is actually your baby, don't panic. As your baby grows, you'll be able to better distinguish their movements. You'll also figure out at what times of the day your baby is most active. Some babies just naturally move less often than others.
A lack of movement also may mean that your baby is asleep. You may feel fewer kicks and jabs after the 32nd week as your baby gets bigger and has less room to move around in the uterus.
If your baby has started to move regularly and you don't feel at least 10 movements within a 2-hour period, or the movements have slowed significantly, it's time to call your doctor.
Timeline of Baby Movement
Here is a guide to your baby's possible movements.
Week 12: Your baby should start to move, but you probably won't be able to feel anything because the baby is still so small.
Week 16: Some pregnant women will start to feel tiny butterfly-like flutters. The feeling might just be gas, or it might be the baby moving.
Week 20: By this point in your baby's development, you may start to really feel your baby's first movements, called "quickening."
Week 24: The baby's movements are starting to become more established. You might also begin to feel slight twitches as your baby hiccups.
Week 28: Your baby is moving often now. Some of the kicks and jabs may take your breath away.
Week 36: Your uterus is getting crowded as the baby grows, and movements should slow down a bit. However, alert your doctor if you notice significant changes in your baby’s usual activity. You should feel consistent movement throughout the day.
Childhood injuries
The process of cognition of the surrounding space by a child is rarely without injury. And if it was not possible to protect the baby from a fracture, cut, bite or burn, then it is important to use the “golden hour” as efficiently as possible - the first 60 minutes after the incident, when the health and sometimes the life of the child depend only on the actions of adults.
Parents need to be ready for literally anything. Steps, sharp corners, sockets, a stove with a hot pot and a cup of boiling water on the table - this is a far from complete list of areas dangerous for a small child. Therefore, it is necessary to have an idea about possible domestic injuries and know how to act in a particular case. The first thing parents should do if the baby is injured is not to panic themselves, not to be helpless and unable to help the baby. Then you need to calm the child, give him first aid and show the baby to the doctor as soon as possible.
Bruise
Contusion is perhaps the most common childhood injury. Whether the child fell or hit something - swelling and bruising appear at the site of the bruise. With bruises, the integrity of the tissues is not violated, the main damage occurs in the vessels that burst, forming a hematoma (hemorrhage).
In this case, you need to put something cold on the site of injury: an ice bag, a towel moistened with ice water. Cooling the site of injury will relieve pain and prevent swelling or hematoma from building up. If the bruise is rapidly increasing in size and volume, you need to call a doctor or take the child to a traumatologist. Most likely, there is an increase in the hematoma, and it is necessary to evacuate the blood by puncture (the doctor will puncture the skin and suck out the blood).
Dislocation
The joints of children are not as strong as those of adults, since the connective tissue in a child is more elastic and less dense. Therefore, any careless, abrupt movement or fall can lead to subluxations or dislocations. More often in children there are dislocations of the head of the radius, shoulder, fingers. Such an injury is accompanied by pain, the child cannot move the dislocated arm or leg, sometimes the limb takes an unnatural position due to “springy” fixation (when the dislocated part of the limb exerts springy resistance when trying to return it to its natural position and cannot “get back in place”).
If the arm is injured, it must be immobilized by applying a scarf bandage. The bandage is made from a square scarf, which is folded into a triangle, and the two extreme corners are tied around the child's neck. The forearm is laid on the plane of the handkerchief at an angle of 90°C. The middle corner of the fabric wraps around the shoulder and elbow and is fixed with a pin on the front side of the bandage.
In case of dislocation, the leg can be fixed with a bandage to an impromptu splint: thick cardboard, plywood, board, etc. The main thing is to achieve a comfortable, painless position of the limb, without trying to overcome the springy resistance. To do this, you can use pillows, rolled up diapers or blankets. Then you should put an ice pack (or other cold object) on the sore spot, give the child pain medication. And then, as soon as possible, show the injured baby to the traumatologist. The dislocation must be repaired as quickly as possible. Then, for 2-3 weeks, a bandage fixing the joint is applied to the child.
Stretching
Symptoms of sprain may not appear immediately, but after some time. In this case, swelling usually occurs at the site of the sprain, and the child feels severe pain.
In this case, it is necessary to immobilize or reduce the load on the damaged joint, apply cold to the pain site. Then you can apply a fixing cruciform bandage at the site of sprain (with oblique bandage moves, alternately apply it above and below the injured joint) and contact a traumatologist. If the injury happened late in the evening, and you can only see a doctor in the morning, no bandages should be applied to the injured joint. Give the limbs of the baby an elevated position. Give your child pain medication and go to the traumatologist in the morning. Often, with symptoms of sprain, a baby is diagnosed with a fracture.
Fracture
It is quite difficult to recognize a closed fracture without special skills and X-rays. Pain sensations occur in the child at the very moment of the fracture and appear when trying to move or when touching the affected area. Also, a fracture can be accompanied by a tumor (due to tissue edema) and rupture of soft tissues. More often in children, fractures of the fingers, bones of the forearm, shoulder, collarbone, and also the lower leg occur.First of all, you need to immobilize the broken limb with the help of improvised means (thick cardboard, ruler, board, etc.), give it an elevated position and apply cold to the place of pain.
If the leg is injured - eliminate any vertical or horizontal load on it. Fix the joints located above and below the site of a possible fracture with a long splint, bandaging it to the leg. Give your child pain medication and call an ambulance.
In case of tissue damage, in no case should you touch the wound above the fracture site with your hands to avoid infection. Cover it with a clean cloth moistened with an antiseptic. Do not bandage tightly, it is better to secure the napkin with a band-aid. Do not try to eliminate the displacement of bone fragments yourself, so as not to aggravate the injury. Take the injured child to a traumatologist as soon as possible. He will choose an adequate surgical or conservative treatment tactics (for example, apply a cast).
Injuries with damage to the skin
Splinter
A small foreign body (a sliver, a thorn, etc.) that has entered under the skin gives the baby discomfort. If the splinter is not removed, suppuration may begin.
If possible, carefully, using tweezers, pull out the splinter and treat the wound with hydrogen peroxide and any other available antiseptic (zelenil, iodine). If you can’t get a splinter with tweezers, in no case should you expand the wound with a needle - you need to contact a surgeon or traumatologist at the clinic. The doctor, using special tools, quickly, without causing pain and additional injury to the child, will remove the foreign body and, if necessary, prevent possible infectious complications by prescribing antibiotics in the form of tablets or ointments.
Scratch or abrasion
These are superficial skin lesions. It is almost impossible to protect a child from them. But you can teach him to seek help from his parents in case of injury and in no case touch the wound with his hands so as not to infect.
A scratch or abrasion should be treated with any drying antiseptic. When the wound is healing, do not allow the baby to tear off the dry crust so that a rough scar does not form, which can remain for a long time. If inflammation is suspected (redness around the abrasion, swelling, fluid release), it is necessary to show the child to a surgeon or traumatologist.
Cut
This is a fairly deep skin injury, accompanied by bleeding.If the wound was caused by a broken cup or glass, or a Christmas toy, or any other fragile object, if possible, remove the fragments remaining in the wound of the baby. The main thing is not to drive the fragments deeper. After washing the wound under running water, treat the edges with an antiseptic and apply a pressure bandage (tightly bandaging a gauze napkin to the wound).
For cuts, regardless of their depth, the main thing is to stop the bleeding. If the pressure bandage does not help, you need to apply a tourniquet above the injury site and show the baby to the doctor no more than 60 minutes later. A tourniquet is applied to the leg in the upper third of the thigh or lower leg, and to the arm - in the upper part of the shoulder or forearm. Under the tourniquet, be sure to put cotton wool or a napkin. It is dangerous to overexpose the tourniquet - this can lead to tissue necrosis, since blood is temporarily not supplied to them.
To avoid the possibility of wound infection, poor healing, rough scarring and, of course, tetanus infection, show any cuts to a doctor. Otherwise, the responsibility for possible complications lies with you.
Only the doctor decides whether to suture or strengthen the edges of the wound with a band-aid, or it is enough to treat it with medicines.
Tetanus prophylaxis is carried out in children who are not vaccinated against this infection in trauma centers or hospitals. Antitoxin from tetanus is administered urgently once to those babies whose wound was contaminated during trauma.
Tetanus vaccination is included in the National Immunization Schedule and is given to all children at 3-4.5-6 months. Revaccination is carried out at 1.5 years, at 7 and at 14 years. After age 18, the vaccine is given every 10 years.
Burn
A baby can get burned not only by fire, but also by boiling water. In this case, burns are of three categories: light, characterized by reddening of the skin; medium, when a bubble is formed filled with liquid; as well as severe, in which there is charring of the skin and underlying tissues - to the bone. In either case, the child will experience pain ranging from tingling to sharp.In these cases, firstly, it is necessary to stop the effect of heat as soon as possible and cool the affected area either under a stream of cold water or with a damp and cold cloth, often replaced. A good effect with mild and moderate burns is given by alcohol applications - applying a napkin soaked in alcohol to the burn site until it warms up and dries. Alcohol, evaporating from the skin, will carry away heat from the burnt surface, and the tissues will gradually cool.
After 5-10 minutes of cooling (during this time, not only the surface tissues, but also the deep layers of the affected skin cool down), you need to assess the baby's condition, give him an anesthetic, calm him down and, applying a bandage moistened with an antiseptic, contact a surgeon or traumatologist. It is better to show a child even with a mild, in your opinion, degree of burn to a specialist in a clinic.
In case of burns, do not apply ointment dressings and do not treat the skin of the crumbs with coloring antiseptics - such as brilliant green, fukartsin, etc. This will make it difficult for a doctor to assess the degree of tissue damage. Only he can correctly determine the degree of the burn, remove necrotic (dead) tissues and choose further tactics for treating the child.
It is not necessary to lubricate the burn site with oil or urine, since in the first case a film is formed that disrupts the thermal exchange in the tissues (the burned layers of the skin cannot cool), and the urine dehydrates the tissues that have already lost water as a result of the burn.
Other injuries
Nosebleed
Children tend to break the nose, thereby violating the integrity of the capillaries (the smallest vessels), which is why the nose bleeds. At an early age, this is mainly due to a fall. Older children may develop nosebleeds due to damage to the nose in a fight.
A common mistake in helping with a nosebleed is tilting the baby's head back. This can not be done, as the baby can simply choke on blood entering the throat. The child needs to be seated and asked to tilt his head slightly forward, pressing the injured nostril against the nasal septum with his finger for a few seconds.
If blood continues to flow, place a piece of cotton wool or a piece of bandage moistened with hydrogen peroxide in the nostril and apply ice or something cold to the nose. If this does not help, you need an examination by an otolaryngologist, surgeon or traumatologist who can stop the bleeding.
Items in the nose
Sometimes it's not easy to tell if a child has put something up its nose. If nothing is visible in the nostril, and there is also no unnatural protrusion of one of the nasal passages, but at the same time a healthy baby breathes with a whistle, it is possible that there is a foreign object in the nasal cavity.
If you have not seen how the child put something in his nose, but at the same time do not exclude such a possibility, ask him about it if the baby already knows how to talk. In any case, even if you think that you can remove the object from the child's nose yourself, do not do this so as not to damage the nasal septum.
If you find (or suspect) something foreign in the nose, show the baby to a surgeon, traumatologist or otolaryngologist. With special tools, the doctor will remove the foreign object from the nose.
Swallowed toy
Signs that a toy is not completely swallowed or lodged in a child's airway may include: choking, wheezing, coughing, voice change or loss.
In these cases, call an ambulance immediately. If a child is choking, you need to act immediately! Lay the baby face down, supporting him with his hand, for example, in the waist so that his head is lower than the body level, and pat a few times on the back between the shoulder blades or, lowering the child upside down, shake him.
If the foreign body does not come out, try to open the baby's mouth and, pulling back the tongue, assess the situation: if there is a toy in your field of vision, it is advisable to remove it as soon as possible. But only if you are sure that it can be done with a finger or long tweezers.
If all else fails and the child continues to choke, begin artificial respiration until the ambulance arrives. The child must be laid on his back on a hard surface; throw his head back; closing your nose with your fingers, inflate the lungs of the child with your breath, combining this with a closed heart massage (pressing on the sternum). Ha 1 breath perform 5 pressure on the sternum. If the child is very small, press with two crossed fingers. For an older baby, an indirect heart massage is performed by pressing on the sternum with several fingers. Remember, all these manipulations must be done very quickly!
If the child has swallowed a small object and does not show any complaints, it is better to discuss further actions with the doctor after the x-ray of the gastrointestinal tract. Buttons, beads and other small smooth objects are usually evacuated from the intestines along with feces on their own. In other cases, surgery may be required.
Electric shock
Modern parents know that with the advent of a child, all sockets in the house must be closed, and electrical appliances must be removed to a distance inaccessible to the baby. However, it is not always possible to follow all precautions, and children often get electrical injuries while examining sockets or electrical appliances.
In the event of an electrical injury, a child may be found to have a burn at the point of contact with the wire, a weak or arrhythmic heartbeat, and shortness of breath.
In this case, parents should ensure that the injured baby is calm and immediately call an ambulance, even if at first glance it seems that the electric shock was not strong. Often, the heart suffers from an electrical discharge, so do not delay calling a doctor for a child. You need to see a doctor for a few days.
Bite
Bites are different: insects or animals. Minor insect bites (for example, mosquitoes) should be treated with special antihistamines (antiallergic), antipruritic agents and the child should not be allowed to comb the damaged area.
When bitten by a stinging insect (wasp, bee), it is necessary to remove the entire sting with tweezers and treat the wound with any antiseptic (brilliant green, iodine).
If bitten by a tick, be sure to consult a surgeon. In no case do not try to remove it from the baby's skin with your fingers, since the contents of the internal organs of the tick (and if it is infected, then the encephalitis virus), as from a syringe, is released into the wound. And this significantly increases the risk of infection with tick-borne encephalitis. Remember: the rate of its spread and the severity of the course of the disease depend on the dose of the virus that enters the body.
If bitten by an animal, including a domestic animal, wash the bite site very thoroughly with soap and water to remove the animal's saliva. Through pinpoint skin wounds, microbes can get deep under the skin and cause inflammation. After washing, apply a loose, clean and dry aseptic (sterile) bandage to this place and immediately show the child to the doctor.
When bitten by an animal suspected of rabies, children are given specific prophylaxis with anti-rabies gamma globulin and anti-rabies vaccine.
Hazardous areas
A child, especially a small one, can be injured, it would seem, out of the blue. In residential premises, the main danger is represented by sharp corners of furniture, sockets, household electrical appliances, sharp and cutting objects, slippery carpets or parquet - in general, almost any interior and household items.A playground in the yard can also be a threat: slides, ladders, swings and trees often cause various childhood injuries. Even a seemingly safe park bench can turn into the cause of splinters or become the culprit of a fracture due to an unsuccessful jump.
The first line in the list of causes of childhood injuries is transport. And it's not just serious injuries due to traffic accidents - very often children pinch their fingers in car doors, hit their heads on the handrails in buses or on the glass in cars without being fastened.
You are unlikely to be able to completely protect the child from injury. However, small children should never be left unattended. As they grow up, teach your child about safety and tell them what injuries they can get if they are not careful.
Childhood is not complete without bruises and scratches, but let them be as few as possible in your child's life.
There is a capricious child in the house - how to deal with him? | Mamovedia
There is a capricious child in the house - how to deal with it? | Mamovediya - about the health and development of the childChildren are active, and their strength seems to never end, while the patience of mom and dad is. It may happen that parents of very active babies sometimes get nervous, scream, and sometimes raise their hand. And immediately afterwards they feel guilty.
When children make us lose patience, what is the most sensible and effective response?
Considering that:
Whims for a child are “tests of life”, so it’s normal that they suit them.
It can be said that children's craft is to break the rules, because in this way they learn how far they can go with their demands. But the task of the parent is to return them to their place. This is a tough job because kids are not switches that turn on and off at will, so parents need to arm themselves with patience and not feel incapacitated if they don't succeed quickly.
Parents are human beings and can get angry. There are times when a parent is more tired than usual, very preoccupied with business and problems. If it so happened that the parent lost his temper and punished the child, you need to ask the baby for forgiveness. But you also need to understand that this is not a demonstration of strength, but a manifestation of weakness, a moment in which an adult could not cope with his emotions. And then you need to work to ensure that this situation does not happen again.
Effective strategies:
- Do not shout: it is useless, it causes anger and tantrums. When a child is naughty, you do not need to scream and be more angry than he is. If we scream, the child's brain increases the so-called "anger chemistry", that is, the production of stress substances, which makes him tremble even more. On the contrary, our calm, controlled attitude softens the child's anger, and his brain begins to produce oxytocin, which is a hormone of calm and well-being. Crying is an immature manifestation of anxiety. A screaming parent in the eyes of a child does not look like a competent adult who needs to learn life, but a relative who has lost his head and control over himself.
- Talk to your child calmly, but firmly and decisively. In order to correct the behavior of a child, a few words spoken with confidence and calmness are enough. The smaller the child, the more he is unable to understand the meaning of our words, but he perfectly understands our attitude towards him. If the child is naughty, just tell him "stop"; if he is shaking and screaming, take his hands without hurting him, look into his eyes and calmly say: "this is not worth doing" without adding a bunch of "because ...".
- Be confident in your competence as a parent. More often than not, mom and dad lose patience and raise their voices because they feel vulnerable and helpless in front of the whims of the child. However, the parent must clearly understand the principles and rules that he wants to teach respect to the child. The message that should go to the child is: “I know how it's done; my quiet word is so powerful that I don't have to shout to say it. " Faced with such a deep conviction, the child feels that the adult is competent and stops his tantrum.
- Show that you understand his feelings. When we say "no", we do not show the child that we understand his anger. It is enough to say something simple: “I see that you are angry, but this is not the time to act like this. It seems like a banal phrase, but there is a tangible difference. Tell the child that he is not trapped in his anger; that he can feel anger and manage it without waiting for it to overwhelm him. However, if the child sees that the parent is the first to lose patience, he will be afraid of his reaction, perceiving it as something terrible and uncontrollable. Prevention is better than cure, so:
- Pay attention to your child in moments of calm . Often hidden behind a whim is the need to attract the attention of parents, who always seem to be distracted and intent on doing something else. It is necessary to spend time with children when you are in a state of grace: play a little, share emotions, without mobile phones and without TV. It's like magic, but when a child is surrounded by attention, he becomes an angel and is less prone to extremes.
- Reward your child when they behave well. The child will not always be only capricious. When he has good behavior, the parent can praise him, thank him and encourage him. Thus, the child feels compelled to continue on the right path, and is ready to accept the parent's "no".
- Anticipate whim . Another secret is not to wait until the child makes us angry, but to stop him in time. Sometimes, for convenience, we satisfy the whims of the child, thinking that this will end, instead we get endless tantrums. If you notice a child in the supermarket looking longingly at a chocolate egg, not expecting to cry, say something like "no eggs today, we agreed that we will buy it on Saturday." And that's all. If the child is convinced that he can get the coveted egg, and understands that, insisting on her own, the mother can give up, the desire of the child increases, and then it will be difficult to restrain his whim. Another example? The child comes home from school hungry, and the mother, for convenience, gives him a piece of bread, and he asks for more and more, as a result, he sits down at the dinner table and does not touch the food, which entails a quarrel. It is better not to give up from the very beginning, to involve the child in cooking, so that everyone can quickly sit down at the table together.
- Be consistent. The rule is the best way to prevent tantrums. Once a rule is established, it must be followed. If you said go to bed at 9pm, then it must be 9pm.
If the parent is consistent, the child feels that he cannot manipulate him at will. On the other hand, if today the child goes to bed at 9 pm, tomorrow the parents want to watch a movie and it is more convenient to put the baby to bed earlier, and the next day the whole family goes to a pizzeria and sleep is postponed until a later time, the child understands that the rule can change everyday.
Of course, when the child grows up, from the age of 9-10 there are small negotiations with the child, but the message should be: “the reins are in the hands of adults, and the decision is made by the parents”.
In any case, “no” to assault, because:
is physical violence. Beating a child is a humiliating and aggressive act, an abuse of power, and also a demonstration of the weakness of a parent who has lost his position and cannot resolve the issue except by physical force, which is obviously higher than that of a child;
- this is intimidating. When a parent raises his voice and raises his hand to the child, he also has a facial expression that instills fear in the child and makes him believe that he is no longer loved;
- violence is violence. Raising a hand to a child has never been an effective educational technique. The more a child is beaten, the angrier and more violent he becomes in dealing with others;
- this causes a feeling of guilt, and throws the parent into the other extreme. Screaming and assault causes guilt in the parent, and in order to correct the situation, the parent may rush from one extreme to another, becoming hyper-permissive. Such inconsistency confuses the child, who does not understand either the behavior of the parent or the meaning of what he did;
- this is completely inefficient. Battling can lead to immediate results, but obedience to fear will not lead to the understanding of the mistake: on the contrary, it will lead to a feeling of submission, from which you want to free yourself as soon as possible.
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