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How does a child called it relate to psychology


How does A Child Called "It" relate to psychology?

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A Child Called "It" can be examined through a psychological perspective in numerous ways. Catherine Roerva proves capable of manipulating her son's emotions to produce the outcomes which benefit her. She also demonstrates behaviors that might align with borderline personality disorder. Maslow's theory on the hierarchy of human needs can also be applied in an examination of how David's most basic human needs are not met and how that impacts his behaviors and personality.

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"How does A Child Called "It" relate to psychology?" eNotes Editorial, 11 Oct. 2020, https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/how-does-a-child-called-it-relate-to-psychology-2474923. Accessed 1 Jan. 2023.

The conflict in A Child Called "It" relates to the field of psychology on numerous levels. Perhaps most importantly, the story demonstrates the mental illness of a mother, Catherine Roerva, who is unable to care for at least one of her children. Her son David is the recipient of most of her abuse; her "games" of violence and abuse take various forms as David grows up.

For reasons that even an adult David cannot explain, she forces him to eat his own vomit, punches him in the face, and "accidentally" stabs him with a knife. Combined with her frequent alcohol binges, her behavior toward David is increasingly erratic and vindictive. She proves to be in need of serious psychological help in order to implement the nurturing environment for all of her children that she is called to provide as their mother.

Yet Catherine also understands that despite all of her malicious actions, David longs to connect with her. She uses this to her advantage, proving herself capable of manipulating her child's actions by toying with his desire to be loved by her. For example, at one point in chapter 6, she apologizes to David for her actions, telling him that she wants to make up for "lost time." David jumps into her arms as his mother begins crying. She lets him wear new clothes and buys him a toy. She even allows him to play outside with his brothers. David is able to eat all he wants for dinner, which almost never happens. The next day, a lady from social services visits their house for an investigation:

The lady wanted to talk to me for a few minutes. She wanted to know if I was happy. I told her I was. She wanted to know if I got along all right with my mom. I told her I did. Finally, she asked me if Mom ever beat me. Before answering, I looked up at Mother, who smiled politely. I felt as though a bomb had exploded deep in the pit of my stomach. I thought I would throw up. It had suddenly occurred to me why Mother had changed the day before; why she had been so nice to me. I felt like a fool because I had fallen for it. I was so hungry for love that I had swallowed the whole charade.

The social lady has barely made it out the door before David's mother has returned to her typical behaviors, screaming profanities at him and beating him again. At the least, Catherine proves capable of using David's desire for acceptance in order to manipulate his behaviors so that she won't get in trouble for her actions.

There is also evidence that Catherine may have suffered from borderline personality disorder. This disorder is marked by the following symptoms:

  • A pattern of unstable and intense relationships
  • Rapid changes in self-identity
  • Periods of stress-related paranoia
  • Impulsive and risky behavior
  • Wide mood swings
  • Inappropriate, intense anger

Certainly these symptoms can be traced in the descriptions of Catherine and her treatment of others throughout the book.

A Child Called "It" also relates to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. In this theory, varying human needs are ranked on a pyramid, with the most basic needs on the bottom level of the hierarchy. Maslow's theory suggests that people can never reach the highest levels of self-actualization if their most fundamental levels of needs are not met. At the most fundamental level, humans need water, food, shelter, sleep, and clothing. David is deprived of most of these needs by the woman who is supposed to care for him most. If he had been left in such an environment, he would have likely never formed meaningful friendships or reached higher levels of self-respect.

The psychological implications of David's treatment by his mother leaves a great deal of room for discussion, analyzing how he managed to survive this abuse and emerge as a successful father himself when that behavior was never modeled for him.

Further Reading

  • https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline...

Approved by eNotes Editorial Team

A Child Called "It"

Latest answer posted October 11, 2020 at 12:22:37 PM

What are the names of David Pelzer's brothers?

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A Child Called "It"

Latest answer posted October 11, 2020 at 1:00:45 PM

What happened to Dave Pelzer's parents?

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A Child Called "It"

Latest answer posted October 11, 2020 at 11:52:55 AM

Why is A Child Called "It" banned?

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A Child Called "It"

Latest answer posted October 11, 2020 at 3:40:23 PM

How old was Dave Pelzer in A Child Called It?

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A Child Called "It"

Latest answer posted April 19, 2020 at 8:08:48 AM

Why is Dave's father not trying to help him but ignoring him instead in A Child Called "It"? 

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Violence: "A Child Called "It"" by Dave Pelzer

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction

  2. Child Abuse

  3. Mental Instability

  4. Abandonment

  5. Survival and Resilience

  6. Conclusion

  7. References

Introduction

Domestic abuse is one of the most significant issues nowadays. Destructive family members often create a harsh environment for their relatives who have to overcome serious difficulties. In many cases, the victims of domestic violence are kids that cannot protect themselves. In 1995, Dave Pelzer wrote a book A Child Called “It”, where he describes his extremely tough childhood. The author focuses on his abnormal relationship with the abusive mother, and he also talks about his father’s abandonment and his siblings’ indifference.

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Child Abuse

Child abuse is one of the persistent problems in today’s society. Christian and Committee on Child Abuse and Neglect (2015) define child abuse as an adult’s “act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm to an infant” (para. 2). Also, child maltreatment is a part of this outrageous phenomenon. In the worst cases, it might even include excessive violence. Children cannot defend themselves, which makes them especially vulnerable to aggressive behavior. National Children’s Alliance (2019) states that, in the US, approximately 700, 000 children go through abuse every year. Social services work on this problem consistently, but the numbers remain high.

There are a few different types of abuse that might occur. The American Psychological Association (APA, 2019) provides a list that includes neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Neglect is when a parent does not satisfy the basic needs of a child; for example, he or she does not give their child food and shelter or does not provide medical care. Physical abuse occurs when an adult injures a child, while emotional abuse refers to a parent behaving the way that causes psychological trauma. Last but not least, sexual abuse is engaging an under-aged child in any kind of sexual activity.

The main character of this book, Dave, has to go through severe conditions. He experiences three types of abuse: neglect, physical, and emotional abuse. To start, the mother neglects Dave by refusing to give him food, and he can barely find something to eat. The father secretly brings him food from time to time, but it does not count because it is never enough, and it cannot be called a proper treatment. In addition, the mother does not always allow the boy to wear proper clothes.

Also, the mother often gets physically abusive as she hits, punches, and even stabs Dave. She burns his hands, slaps, chokes, and pins him against the mirror or the wall. In addition, Dave’s mother practices emotional abuse when she yells at the boy, isolates him from the other members of the family, criticizes, threatens, and shames him. Moreover, she forces him to lie to other people and tell them that the atmosphere at home is good, even though he has bruises and wounds that do not look like “accidents.”

Mental Instability

Dave’s mother is very unstable mentally because she definitely has problems with her behavior and emotions. She drinks often, and, possibly, sustainable amounts of alcohol cause certain changes that lead to brain deterioration. Dave becomes a scapegoat in this family because he gets blamed for every possible thing. Aiken, Wagner, and Hinnant (2019) argue that parents that scapegoat an infant always scold him or her saying that he or she does the wrong things. A child does not get a chance to defend himself or herself and, eventually, starts to believe that he or she indeed is a very bad person. It is, of course, might tremendously affect an adolescent’s psyche.

It is difficult to give one reason why Dave’s Mother focused on the mistreatment of him specifically. Schwartz and Sweezy (2019) suggest that child scapegoating occurs when parents cannot solve their own issues, so they find a defenseless person in the family to recoup. When the mother begins acting aggressively, Dave is the youngest kid out of three, so, apparently, that is the main reason she started targeting him and not his two older brothers.

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Possibly, their personalities were stronger already due to their age, and, therefore, she would not be as successful in torturing them. However, it is essential to note that the brothers might still develop some problems with their mental development because they are constantly in a hostile environment. Thus, there is a significant influence on their mentality as well. Dave’s mother possibly has a mental illness, and it explains her violent behavior and uncontrollable emotions, but it does not excuse her actions anyway. She most likely has to go through medical treatment, instead of harming people around her. What she did to Dave has had a colossal impact on the boy’s entire life, and no child deserves to be abused.

Abandonment

Dave’s Father’s role in this story is difficult to analyze and evaluate. On the one hand, he tries to mitigate the situation by feeding the boy or spending some time with him. The author highlights that his Father suffers from the mother’s mental instability as well. On the other hand, he is a parent, too, and Dave’s well-being is his total responsibility. However, he decides to close his eyes to all the violence, and he does not protect the main character. Supposedly, the father acts this way because he has problems with the spouse himself, and he cannot solve them in the first place. He should have tried to help, but, maybe, he just could not. He might have certain mental issues too, and Pelzer (1995) mentions that the father had problems with alcohol. Inaction is just as bad as the abuse in this case.

As time passes, the father leaves the family because he does not feel responsible, and he mostly cares about his life. It is hard to tell would that be better if he stayed or if David lived with him because his abandonment causes tremendous harm. In general, the environment in this family seems to be very destructive, and there has to be more anamnesis collected to come to any conclusions.

Survival and Resilience

An individual demonstrates resilience when he or she lives in severe conditions, but learns how to cope with them. Though, it does not mean that a person is not traumatized or does not suffer. After many years of abuse, Dave still makes attempts to survive and to remain conscious. He remembers that there were times when everything was fine and when he had loving parents. He knows that normal adequate relationships exist, and, thus, he continues to fight. Besides, very rarely, he gets some warmth from strangers, and he realizes that if he manages to stay alive, he might have a brighter future. It is significant that, in the end, the main character says the Lord’s Prayer. It most likely means that there is still hope in this absolutely desperate situation.

Conclusion

To conclude, A Child Called “It” is a book that everyone should read in a lifetime. Dave’s story is extremely touching, and it makes a reader think more about what happens around. It is crucial to be more caring and attentive to each other. Someone might be tortured or oppressed behind the neighbor’s door or across the street. It is crucial to have compassion and make sure there is enough done to protect defenseless people.

References

Aiken, C. S., Wagner, B. M., & Benjamin Hinnant, J. (2019). Observed interactions in families of adolescent suicide attempters. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 49(1), 104-119.

American Psychological Association (2019). Understanding and preventing child abuse and neglect. Web.

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Christian, C. W., & Committee on Child Abuse and Neglect. (2015). The evaluation of suspected child physical abuse. Pediatrics, 135(5), e1337-e1354.

National Children’s Alliance. (2019). National statistics on child abuse. Web.

Pelzer, D. (1995). A child called It: One child’s courage to survive. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications.

Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2019). Internal family systems therapy (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

A metropolitan psychologist spoke about the role of a mother in different periods of a child's life

In infancy, a child cannot do without a mother. Over time, it grows up, and its role changes, but the value does not decrease. Irina Kutyanova, a psychologist at the Pechatniki family center, spoke about this in more detail.

Give your child freedom of choice!

The mother of a 12-year-old son applied to the Pechatniki family center. She complained that the child had ceased to obey. After several meetings with a psychologist, the mother realized that it was necessary to rebuild relations with her growing son, to give him more freedom, for example, in choosing hobbies and circles, while gently directing his energy into a constructive channel. nine0005

Period from 0 to 1 year

“The most important task of a mother during this period is emotional and physical contact with the baby, satisfaction of his basic needs, development of the child in accordance with his age,” says the psychologist.

It is very important for a child (from 0 to 1 year old) to experience the unconditional love of a mother for her baby. Through interaction with his mother, he forms a basic trust or distrust in the world. If a mother reacts to signals from a child, understands them, interacts with a child, gives him her love and care, then he forms an attitude that the world is good, treats him kindly. And in the future it will be much easier for him to build relationships with other people, to become independent and independent. nine0005

At a very young age, a child needs tactile contact, it is no coincidence that such devices as slings and kangaroos are very popular. If the baby is crying, not hungry, clean, then the first thing you need to do is pick him up. Being in physical contact with his mother, in her arms, he calms down. “Don't get annoyed at the crying of a small child, but try to calm down and find out the reason. Behind this is an unmet need or discomfort. He cries when something is wrong, if he is tired or hungry, and not in order to annoy his parents or manipulate them, ” - advises Irina.

Of the educational games at this age, bright rattles, tumblers, toys with different fillers that the baby can take in pens (for example, cereals, peas, etc.) are relevant. Parents can make such toys with their own hands. The songs and lullabies that a mother sings for a baby are relevant. It is also very important to talk with the child: communication should express joy and love for the baby.

Early childhood: 1 to 3 years

Starting from the age of 1, the child learns to walk independently, the main role of the mother is to create a safe environment for the baby. It is also the time when the child is actively developing. Mom becomes the child's guide to the world around her, she teaches to name objects, pronounce words and sentences. At the same time, it is important that the mother’s speech be leisurely, then the baby will learn to speak much faster. You can listen and sing simple songs with your baby.

Provide a safe space: remove household chemicals, sharp objects from places accessible to the child, put restraints on cabinets, sockets, windows. nine0005

Teach your child the basics of safe behavior: do not run into the road, do not pick up garbage from the ground, do not take toys from other children. It is very important to do this in the correct form, not to yell at the child. And being on the street and in public places, always hold the child by the hand. In this way, you give him information about the outside world, about how it works, while ensuring his safety.

Of the developing games, give preference to finger games that train fine motor skills: "magpie-crow", finger gymnastics. nine0003

Preschool age: 3 to 7 years

Every year it becomes more and more interesting to communicate with your child, you can discuss with him what is happening on the street or in the park, collect autumn leaves together, make crafts for children garden. As a rule, during this period, the mother returns to work if there are no younger brothers and sisters, and the child begins to go to kindergarten.

With the start of attending a kindergarten, a child's life changes, he learns to communicate not only in the family, but also in the first children's team with other children. nine0017 “Pay attention to what the child is drawn to: some children like to draw, while others are more interested in dancing or sports. Consider how the child adapts to the kindergarten, whether he is willing to stay in the group, how he communicates with other children. Encourage the natural aspirations of children from an early age, and then in the future they can fully open up and become real talents, ”, the psychologist comments.

Primary school age: from 7 to 11 years old

At this age, the child still retains many childish qualities, he still needs care and support. The main change that occurs during this period is the beginning of schooling. Mom, like no one else, can help in the adaptation of the child, identify the problem in time and solve it. nine0017

“Stay close by, help your child if he can’t solve a problem or write prescriptions right away. Do not put pressure on him, but explain that if he has difficulties, he can always turn to his mother with a question and for help. Be interested in how he is doing, what is incomprehensible or difficult, what difficulties the child faces, with whom he communicated at school, what subjects are his favorite, , says Irina.

Adolescence: 12 to 15 years

This period is the most difficult in the life of not only parents, but also children. Therefore, the role of the mother should be to understand the inclinations and abilities of the teenager, which need to be helped to develop. A child at this age focuses more on peers than on the opinion of parents. At the same time, this is a normal phenomenon and is associated with the growing up of the child. The difficulties of adolescence will pass, but it is important to maintain contact with the child during this period. Recognition of his growing up, expansion of independence and responsibility, attraction to help around the house will help in communicating with the child. nine0005

“The role of a mother at this age is to help the child navigate the future profession, maintain good relationships, and maintain an emotional connection. During this period, you can communicate with a teenager on topics that concern him: about the meaning of life, purpose, about life and death, ”the psychologist believes - .

Crises

When communicating with a child, it is important to consider turning points, or developmental crises: to Lev Vygotsky is 1 year old, 2 years old, 3 years old, 6-7 years old, 12-13 years old. It is at this time that dramatic changes occur that give a new quality to the development of children: 1 year - mastering walking; 2 years - the formation of visual-effective thinking, a turning point in the development of speech; 3 years - the period when the connection between the behavior and development of the child is especially clear, the baby realizes himself as a person; 6-7 years - the period of preparation for school; 12-13 years - puberty, puberty. nine0018

Where they can get help

". Psychologists will tell parents how best to interact with children. Each visitor to the site can use the map of family and childhood support organizations. When you select the required area on the map, the nearest organizations with detailed contact information are displayed. nine0005

Source

Press Service of the Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of the City of Moscow

How to talk to children correctly - advice from psychologists from Arkhangelsk | 29.

ru

“Shut your mouth, I said”: how the phrases of parents change the character and psyche of children. Analysis with experts

  • 1. Situation No. 1: “Of course, you are just like your father, you are an egoist…”
  • 2. Situation No. 2: “If I had known, I had an abortion”
  • 3. Situation No. 3 : "When you grow up, you will eat anything"
  • 4. Situation No. 4: “Shut your mouth, to whom you told”
  • 5. Situation No. 5: “Whined like a girl”
  • 6. Psychologists’ conclusion: what to do

1

Situation No. 1: “Of course, you are just like your father, you are an egoist…”

A mother communicates with her daughter of about twelve years old. A woman says something about a quarrel with her husband. The girl interrupts, tries to argue, to which the mother says: “Well, of course, you are the same as your father, an egoist ...” We ask the psychologist what kind of wound such a conclusion can inflict on the child. nine0141

“Here we see a classic method of comparison with others (in the place of the father there may be another person, even not related to the number of relatives),” explains Galina Novikova. - Why this phrase was said to the girl is obvious here: the mother tried to get support from her daughter in a conflict situation with her father, which, on the whole, she did not succeed. Of course, the mother is disappointed, resentment plays in her words, and, wanting to hurt her daughter, she compared her with her father, in fact, endowing the girl with those personality traits that she may not have at all. The phrase can form a stable inferiority complex in a child, an inability to believe in himself and his strengths. The shadow of comparison will periodically make itself felt over the years. nine0005

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2

Situation #2: “I would have had an abortion if I had known”

Underage boy in a state of alcoholic intoxication, apparently; his parents yell at him all over the street. As a result, the woman utters the phrase: “Yes, if I knew what son would grow up, I would have had an abortion!”

— The child is intoxicated, perhaps he needs urgent medical care, and not the censure of his parents at the moment, — comments Galina Nikolaeva. - Of course, it’s bad that the boy drank alcohol: the emotional reaction of the parents is understandable, but still let’s return to the phrase in the context of the example. This phrase acts on the child according to the principle of separation, that is, further moving him away from his parents. The child develops a sense of guilt for being born, a sense of burden for parents. A parent, saying such a phrase, without realizing it, launches a program for the self-destruction of the mental and physical health of the child. The result of such a message is a deterioration in health, continued use of psychoactive substances, total self-doubt, and depression. nine0005

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3

Situation #3: “When you grow up, you will eat anything”

A child in the playground wants to eat a candy bar, mom says: “When you grow up, you will eat anything you want, whenever you want” Until then, you'll only do as I say. "

- An interesting example, a child is forced to accept a dogmatic belief, here we see a variant of the message, which will subsequently result in a violation of the child's eating behavior, the result can be either obesity or anorexia. The second side of the coin lies in the fact that in the future the child will try with all his might to destroy the authority of the parent, - Galina Novikova analyzes. nine0141

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4

Situation No. 4: “Shut your mouth, to whom you told it”

The child cries in the street and cannot calm down, the mother says: “Shut your mouth, to whom you told it.”

— In no case should a parent say such a phrase to a child, he is looking for support, but his need is not satisfied. In general, this phrase carries a message meaning an insult, all this can lead to the fact that the child will look for "foreign ears" with whom he can share his experiences. The result is uncertainty, anxiety, a decrease in the ability to experience other people, concludes Galina Novikova. nine0005

Without mysticism - everything we say to each other really determines our future hit his head and cried. The father said: “I whimpered like a girl.”

- In this phrase, we see the position of the father "raise the boy courageous." This directive is traditional. At the same time, the prohibition on the expression of feelings is clearly defined for the child. Such a message in the future will lead to aggressiveness, emotional restraint, fear, low self-esteem, says Galina Novikova. nine0141

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6

Psychologists' conclusion: what to do , it seems to me that it will be more correct, - Irina Gonchar tells us. - Of all situations, there is a feeling that an adult is experiencing some feelings, something is happening to him, but he cannot express it in any way, except to manipulate the child and blame him. It is important for a parent first of all to say “stop” to themselves and ask themselves the question: “Do I want my child to grow up to be a squishy, ​​whiner, or an egoist like his father? What then do I want? Well, let's say I want my child to be kind, tidy . .. "And then you need to understand what to do for this. Look for other activities. nine0005

According to the psychologist, the parents in the examples themselves experience strong emotions:

— There is a lot of talk about emotional intelligence these days. In these cases, the adult does not understand what is happening to him and cannot control it. He is overwhelmed with fear, anger, disappointment, and he does not track this emotion. He begins to manage the state of the child, but you need to say about your condition: “I am upset that you fell”, “I am unpleasant that you do not let me express my opinion.” Sometimes it is necessary to express your emotions: “I am angry”, “I am upset”, “I am sad”, “I am upset by the mess in your room”, sometimes this is enough. An adult also has emotions, and if he is ready to confess his feelings, then he appears in the present, and it is already possible to communicate with the present, and then the child looks at him with completely different eyes, and here some kind of transformation is already taking place: the child begins hear that mom might be upset. nine0141

— It's normal for a teenage child to argue with their parents. If a teenager defends his point of view - this is very good. I recommend that parents rejoice at this, it can be unusual and uncomfortable, of course, but this just means that the child has his own “I”, his own opinion, his view of the world. If you suppress your opinion in a teenager and a child, then it is foolish to hope that the child will show it in society when he grows up. If we want our child to always be obedient with us and not learn to be himself, then what hopes that he himself will finish school and choose an institute himself, he will be successful at work when it will already be necessary to show his opinion. nine0005

As Irina Gonchar says, we live to the extent of our convictions, and it is important to convey this idea to parents, because children's convictions are often the theses of parents:

— Suggestions later become human convictions. How does this happen? Let's say an adult called a child a pig when he didn't clean the room, the child sees a mess and he immediately has this link-image: "I didn't clean, so I live in the garbage, so I'm some kind of bum, a pig" . And now this already affects a person’s life, his ability to transform and change something in his life. If a person is convinced that he is a genius, he will live like a genius. There is even such an experiment: psychologists carried out back in the USSR. They recruited two identical classes of kids, completely ordinary. One class was told that they were brilliant and that there were high hopes for them. The teachers were also told that they had brilliant children, judging by the tests. The other class simply didn't say anything. And who do you think had more results? At the class where they said that the kids are brilliant. nine0005

Some people say that thoughts are material, but, without mysticism and fantasy, everything we say to each other really determines our future.

How do you manage to restrain yourself? And is it difficult to confess feelings to parents and children? What was your childhood like? We are interested in your opinion, be sure to write in the comments how, in your opinion, you need to communicate with the child.

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