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Single women wanting to get pregnant
Single Women - ARC Fertility
More and more women are choosing to move forward building their families without a partner. Sometimes these moms are called “Choice Moms”, they are single women who don’t have a partner, but want to have a child or children. They have several options, including at-home insemination or IUI by choosing a sperm donor.
Women can choose to use a sperm donor in order to still have a baby. Women have the option to get pregnant using sperm from an unknown or known donor.
A known donor is a person that the woman knows and chooses to donate a semen sample. This option is usually less expensive compared to unknown sperm donors since the sperm does not need to be purchased. Although, there are many legal risks and challenges with this option. Most medical clinics recommend patients to meet their potential donor with a mental health professional or attorney who is specialized in that particular field to ensure that all legal issues are handled appropriately.
An unknown donor is a person who donates sperm through a sperm bank and can choose to keep their identity anonymous. Sperm donors can’t claim legal rights to the children born through their sperm donation so women don’t have to worry about parental issues in the future. Information regarding the donor’s physical traits, medical history, career, and other information are accessible depending on the sperm bank. Women are aware of any infectious diseases donors may have since the donors are tested beforehand. The medical and reproductive history of the woman is also evaluated before beginning the procedure to ensure that she is matched with the proper type of donor.
If a woman has difficulty becoming pregnant due to the quality of her eggs, she may use donated eggs from another woman. Choosing a reputable egg donor agency helps match patients with a wide variety of donors from diverse backgrounds. Patients can decide to choose a donor who is anonymous, semi-known, or known. An anonymous donor is one you will never meet, a semi-known donor is one who shares limited information, and a known donor can be a friend, relative or stranger chosen through an agency, but will meet within agreed-upon boundaries. All potential egg donors are recommended to go through an evaluation or screening. Egg donors may receive ovulation stimulating drugs over time and have their eggs removed once they are stimulated.
Click on the link below to learn more about ARC Egg Donor Packages: https://www.arcfertility.com/arc-treatment-packages/donor-egg-package-option/
If a woman is not ready to start building her family yet, she may choose to freeze her eggs to help preserve her fertility. The quality of a woman’s eggs diminishes with age and advanced cryopreservation techniques allow for the safe and successful freezing, storing and thawing of eggs that can be used in the future. Many of the ARC member clinics offer egg freezing packages, click here to learn more.
Types of Procedures
Once a woman decides which source of sperm to use, she has the option to choose how to complete the procedure. The forms of procedures available are either at-home insemination and intrauterine insemination (IUI). The major differences between each procedure are the costs and how they are conducted.
At-Home insemination is a route that women take as an attempt to conceive at home in more relaxed environment than the doctor’s office. Women should take the proper steps to ensure the best chances of a successful pregnancy by having a fertility checkup to address any issues that may negatively impact their reproductive health. By choosing at-home insemination with the aid of a midwife, a woman specialized in pregnancy and childbirth, it may increase the chances of a successful pregnancy. During the procedure, the sperm is placed near the cervix instead of in the uterus through a syringe.
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is the process of placing frozen sperm in a woman’s uterus at the time of ovulation by a reproductive specialist. It is performed at the same time that women are taking ovulation-stimulating drugs. The semen is placed directly in the woman’s uterus through the cervix with a soft catheter and syringe during ovulation. If a woman is using sperm from a sperm bank, it will send a prepared sperm for procedure directly to the doctor’s office. The procedure is very quick and only lasts for a few minutes. There have been higher success rates through IUI compared to at-home insemination since the sperm is placed closer to a woman’s eggs.
Many women who go through fertility treatment may have several frozen embryos leftover. They can choose to donate them to research or to couples or individuals looking to build a family. Single women who use embryo donations when they are unable to use their own eggs or do not want their genetics passed onto the baby. The different types of embryo donations are either known (open) and anonymous donations.
The donor can decide to choose the recipient through an embryo matching service or agency. Donors are not compensated for their donation so embryo donation can be a lower cost alternative and easier option compared to adoption and other forms of fertility treatment.
Adoption is another great way to build a loving family. Learn more about adoption.
Speak With A Patient Services Specialist About Family Building Options
Single and wanting a baby? Here are your options
You thought you’d be married by now, or at least with someone you could settle down with. When you were thirty and single, you believed you had plenty of time to find a partner, and have children. Only now you’re at the other side of your thirties and time is running out … how do you have the baby you’ve dreamed of if you don’t have the partner to make it with?
Lots of women end up in their mid-to-late thirties with their biological clock ticking loudly – but no partner on the scene to start a family with. But if you’re single and want to try for a baby, the good news is that you don’t need to be a with a partner to create life. These days, more women than ever are making the decision to pursue motherhood with or without a partner, and fortunately for them, there are several options to choose from when it comes to falling pregnant.
Sometimes there has to be a Plan B
Plenty of us start out with a dream to have a big family, but of course in reality this doesn’t always pan out. Relationship breakdowns and not finding the right partner to settle down with can mean that planning for parenthood is more challenging than first realised. Other women are single by choice and don’t see that marriage and coupling needs to happen for them to become mothers. Every single woman is different, and although the initial plan might have been to have babies with a loving partner, sometimes you need a Plan B, and modern times mean that this is totally achievable.
Times are different
Women have never had more choices when it comes to falling pregnant. No longer chained to the notion that babies require marriage and two heterosexual parents, or the financial backing a partner can bring to parenthood, independent women these days are making their own decisions when it comes to having babies. With many professional women on top in their careers, managing their own finances and surrounded by supportive friends and family, choosing to have a baby on their own is not the taboo topic it may have been in the past.
Going solo by choice
According to Dr Georgiana Tang, Medical Director of City Fertility Centre (Sydney Clinic), women choosing to be a single mother is on the increase, and as well as the widespread acceptance of this, there are many options for women considering going it alone. “There are a comprehensive range of services to help single women achieve parenthood, whether that be now or down the track,” says Dr Tang. “The first decision you need to think about is whether you want to try now to have a baby or whether you would like to preserve your fertility – by freezing your eggs – in order to try and have a baby at a later date.”
The next thing to consider is your age, says Dr Tang. “One of the most important factors that often influences your decision on what action to take will be your age. Research shows that female fertility is at its optimum level until the age of 35.” Bear in mind that the quality of your eggs will start to decline rapidly from age 35, and your chances will become increasingly slim as you approach your early forties. Therefore, Dr Tang says, if you are hoping to use your own eggs, age plays an important role. Keep this in mind as you consider your fertility options.
Whether you’ve decided to freeze your eggs for a later date or want to go for a baby now, here are some fertility options that can help you fall pregnant on your own:
Otherwise known as artificial insemination, this involves inserting treated sperm into the uterus directly. This could be using frozen sperm from a donor, which will have been thoroughly screened for infectious diseases and genetic conditions. The sperm donor’s details will also be kept on file so that your child can access this information when they are 18 years old, if they wish to learn more about their biological father.
In vitro fertilisation
“In vitro fertilisation (IVF) literally means ‘fertilisation in glass'”, says Dr Tang. “For single women, it involves the fertilisation of the egg by a donor sperm in an incubator outside the body, followed by transfer of the embryo back into the uterus.” Before this can happen, a woman needs to go through a full IVF cycle, including the egg retrieval process, after which any spare eggs can be kept frozen or fertilised with donor sperm and frozen as embryos.
Intracytoplasmic sperm injection
If IVF proves unsuccessful, or if sperm is suspected of being poor quality, Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) can improve the chances of pregnancy, and involves the injection of a single sperm into each egg.
Egg freezing has become both more popular and much advanced over the past decade, says Dr Tang, who adds that research studies are demonstrating equally successful fertilisation rates for frozen eggs and fresh eggs. This is great news for women who don’t want to fall pregnant right now, but want to keep their options open for the future. “Egg freezing can potentially be helpful for single women for a range of reasons including those who wish to try and have children at a later date, those with a genetic disorder that could limit their fertility, and women with cancer who need to undergo chemotherapy,” says Dr Tang. “However,” she adds, “it is essential that egg freezing only happens after appropriate counselling.”
While there is no guarantee that freezing your eggs will one day produce a successful pregnancy for you, the younger you are when you freeze your eggs, the better quality they will be when the time is right. To ensure you have all the information you need to decide whether to freeze your eggs or not, make an appointment with a fertility specialist who can help.
If fertility clinics aren’t your scene – or in your budget – you could consider using a friend’s sperm donation. This can be a plus if you have a ready and willing friend, but consider drawing up a legal agreement between the two of you before you go through with it, as you never know how things may change down the track. For example, your donor friend may say he is happy not to have anything to do with the baby once it’s born, but then change his mind after the birth.
If you can spot trouble with the donor friend option, you could consider using the internet to find a sperm contributor. The Tinder style ‘Just a Baby‘ app is becoming popular amongst diverse groups of people who are struggling with fertility options and connects users with legal guidance as well as fertility advice and counselling.
The freedom to choose
If you’re single and want a baby, and don’t want to waste time waiting to meet a partner who wants the same things as you, then you are free to make a decision that suits you and your fertility needs sooner rather than later. Many women who have gone down the same path describe it as the best decision they could have made, and that not having to pin their hopes on Mr Right coming along was hugely empowering. With so many options available, there’s every reason to believe that this can happen for you too.
Posted on by Karina Lane
Where to go in Russia to get pregnant!?
We have selected the most popular miraculous places on the map of Russia where you can go for a safe pregnancy.
1. To sculpture stork (Kirov).
The sculpture of a stork, which was donated to the city by the Maria FM radio station, was installed in 2008 near the building of the registry office of the Leninsky district, which was then located on Vorovskogo Street, although it was originally planned that the bird would decorate the entrance to the Wedding Palace on Karl Marx Street
Now the sculpture has been moved and installed in the city garden of Kotelnich. The two-ton bird was transported from the regional center and installed in the city garden next to the arch made in the shape of a heart. It is believed that in order to get pregnant, newlyweds can come to the sculpture "Stork with a Baby" and rub the baby's heel. Left - a girl will be born, right - a boy
2. To Saint blessed Matrona Moscow (Moscow).
Being completely blind from birth (she had no eyes), Matronushka found herself isolated from ordinary life from her very childhood. Communication with peers sometimes brought her suffering. They made fun of her weakness.
At the same time, the spiritual vision that the girl was endowed with from God began to manifest itself more and more clearly. Through her prayer, people began to receive healing and help in sorrows. People began to flock to the Nikonovs' house, where Matronushka lived, not only from the surrounding villages, but also from other provinces.
The flow of pilgrims to venerate her holy relics continues today: from early morning until late at night, people with flowers go to Abelmanovskaya Zastava, where the Intercession Stauropegial Convent is located. Most often these are white roses and chrysanthemums - Matrona loved them more than anyone else and did not like artificial flowers. Families come to Matronushka - that's how people affectionately call her - women and men go. Cancer with the relics of the Matrona of Moscow is located in Moscow, in the Pokrovsky stauropegial convent for women, in the left aisle of the Intercession Church.
The Blessed One predicted: “After my death, few people will go to my grave, only those close to me, and when they die, my grave will be empty, except occasionally someone will come. But after many years, people will find out about me and go in droves for help in their sorrows and with requests to pray for them to the Lord God, and I will help everyone and hear everyone. Even before her death, she said: “Everyone, everyone, come to me and tell me, as if alive, about your sorrows, I will see you, and hear, and help you. ”
Matronushka healed with prayer. Women came to her who wanted a child. And today they can go to church to the icon of the saint with a bouquet, which they put to her relics. The number of colors is odd.
There are documented cases of healing from infertility. Women come with the words of a prayer for conception to the Intercession Monastery. They also come to the Danilovskoye cemetery, where Matronushka was previously buried.
Right on the grave they leave notes to Matrona: "Matrona, Matrona, forgive our sins and have mercy." They write about the personal, ask for it, and the wish comes true. In the monastery, they buy a wearable icon with the image of the Matrona. There they take oil and holy water.
3. To Saints Peter and Fevronia (Vladimir region, Murom).
From century to century, the legends of the Murom land described the history of life. In 1203, Prince Peter inherited the throne of Murom. A few years earlier, he had contracted leprosy. During a dream, in a vision, it was revealed to the ruler of Murom that the peasant woman Fevronia could heal him. And in fact, the girl cured the prince. They soon got married. But the local boyars were not happy with this unequal marriage and drove the spouses out of the city. Only when turmoil and a struggle for power began in Murom did the people return the good rulers. Saints Peter and Fevronia became for future generations a model of fidelity and piety in married life.
St. spouses in the cathedral church of the city of Murom in honor of the Nativity of the Most Holy Theotokos, erected over their relics by vow by Ivan the Terrible in 1553. After the revolution, in 1921, the relics were taken to the local museum, where "with vulgar comments they were put on display for everyone to see." Since 1992, the relics have openly rested in the cathedral church of the Holy Trinity Monastery in Murom. In the 21st century, monuments to Peter and Fevronia appeared in many Russian cities.
The Russian Orthodox Church has set a special day for the veneration of saints - the day of Peter and Fevronia - July 8th.
This day is also celebrated in Russia as the Day of Family, Love and Fidelity.
As a rule, those who dream of finding their love, getting married, having a child ask for help from the saints. However, they also help those who already have a family, but for some reason problems arose - misunderstanding, jealousy, discord in relationships or the absence of children. People who have difficulties in communicating with their children also come to the relics.
It is believed that the relics of Saints Peter and Fevronia have the greatest miraculous power on July 8, so it is best to come to Murom on a holiday, on the Day of Family, Love and Fidelity. It is advisable to arrive here the day before, as the Divine Liturgy begins at 6.30 am.
Diveevo lands are stained with holy sources Mother Alexandra, Mother of God of Iver, Mother of God of Kazan, etc. Among the many shrines of Diveevo, the Holy Kanavka occupies a special place. The Monk Seraphim said that the Queen of Heaven herself with her girdle measured the Kanavka three arshins deep and three arshins wide and went around her lot, blessing everyone. At 19In the year 03, seven decades after the death of the Monk Seraphim of Sarov, his glorification took place. The righteous became famous for many deeds. For a thousand days and nights he prayed on a stone, lived extremely modestly, did not take offense at his offenders, and gladly helped with wise advice. Respected during his lifetime, the Monk Seraphim of Sarov became one of the most beloved saints of the Russian Orthodox Church. On the birthday of the saint, his relics were solemnly opened and placed in a prepared shrine. The long-awaited event was accompanied by many miraculous healings of numerous patients who came to Sarov.
The Tsar personally participated in the ceremony of transferring the saint's relics to the Assumption Cathedral, and Alexandra Feodorovna bathed in a healing spring. A year after visiting Diveevo and nine years of waiting, through the prayers of St. Seraphim of Sarov, the Russian emperor and his wife had a son, Tsarevich Alexei. And today they go to Diveevo to receive a blessing for childbearing, to offer up a prayer to the Monk Seraphim, to venerate his relics in the hope of becoming pregnant.
5. To Blue stone . Pleshcheyevo lake
Not far from Pereslavl-Zalessky, on the shore of Lake Pleshcheyevo, the legendary “migrating” boulder weighing 12 tons rises. This huge Blue stone, brought to the lake in prehistoric times by a glacier, looks like a gigantic silver-blue armadillo.
The history of the "Blue Stone" goes into the distant past of our country. Now historians, together with archaeologists, have established with complete certainty that the very first settlement on the shore of Lake Pleshcheyevo appeared more than two thousand years ago. Finns were the first settlers. The place of settlement attracted them by the fact that a mountain 30 meters high above the water towered here and the distant surrounding environs were clearly visible from here. When the tribe came to this mountain, the "Blue Stone" lay on its top. The Finns on the shore of a huge reservoir in the middle of a mighty forest were replaced by more numerous and close-knit northern Slavs, pagans who worshiped the pagan god Yarila, they did not damage the stone, but made it their shrine and built a large Slavic settlement called Kleschi next to it. It was on this place that the city of Pereslavl-Zalessky subsequently grew.
Belief in the miraculous properties of the "Blue Stone" passed from generation to generation and has survived to this day.
Even when Orthodoxy was firmly established in Russia, the population of the coastal regions of Lake Pleshcheyevo (even true Christians!) did not stop worshiping the miraculous boulder and secretly idolized it. They went to him, and still go, both old and young, without fail leaving their modest offerings near him and whispering their innermost desires at the same time.
At the beginning of the 18th century, the Russian Orthodox Church decided to put an end to idolatry. By order of Tsar Vasily Shuisky, the rector of the local church ordered to dig a deep hole, push a boulder into it and fill it with earth.
But a few years have passed. The fishermen who once came to the shore of Lake Pleshcheyevo saw that the "Blue Stone" was lying in its original place. How he, having 12 tons of mass, got out of the ground, and even in a relatively short time, no one knew.
And again, his fans reached out to the boulder with their hopes and aspirations.
Even in winter it can be seen from afar – snowflakes on the “shell” instantly melt. Every year, the Blue Stone sinks deeper into the ground, attempts to stop this process were in vain: neither strengthening the soil, nor installing a fence around the boulder helped. According to legend, the heart of Yarila, the Slavic god of the Sun, contains an ancient pagan power in the Sin-stone. A woman who wants a child, but cannot conceive, needs to sit on a boulder, and then her dream will come true.
6. V Anno - Zachatievsky church (Moscow region, Chekhov).
The snow-white temple under five domes, as if bursting into the sky, is located in the center of the city - in the former princely estate. For more than 300 years, the holy place has given hope to childless women. The church was erected by vow on the site of a wooden one in 1694 by the steward S. L. Vasilchikov. Her story began in the 17th century, when the wife of Savva Vasilchikov, Anna, who had not become pregnant for many years, prayed earnestly in the Serpukhov Zachatievsky Monastery and tearfully asked to give a child. And the prayers were answered. Vasilchikov's wife, who appeared before the icon of the Conception of the righteous Anna of the Most Holy Theotokos, was promised a daughter if Savva would lay the foundation of the church
And indeed, as soon as the first stone was laid in 1689, his wife Anna conceived the child promised by God during prayer and after the due time gave birth to a daughter named Mary. After the couple had more children. In 1821, through the efforts of N.I. Vasilchikov, a refectory with aisles was added to the Zachatievsky Church: in the name of St. Nicholas and in honor of the Conception of John the Baptist. In 1828, a three-tiered bell tower with an elegant rotunda of twelve columns with a small domed top with a spire and a cross joined the temple.
Near the entrance to the church, on the hillside, there is a holy spring, consecrated in honor of the holy and righteous Fathers of God Joachim and Anna with a bow cross. Now the holy key is decorated with a carved cross made of light granite and a mosaic icon of the Mother of God "Life-Giving Spring". Pilgrims come to this spring to ask God for childbearing.
Also, in the Anno-Zachatievsky Church there is the miraculous Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, from which signs and wonders were revealed during the war. In 1997, on the day of the celebration of this icon, a prayer service was served before it, which was attended by many young people before being sent to serve in Chechnya. Not only did they not die, but they did not receive any injuries, although they were in the forefront.
The miraculous icon of St. Nicholas and the revered icon of St. Seraphim of Sarov are also sacred.
7. B Chapel St. Blessed Xenia Petersburg (St. Petersburg).
Blessed Xenia was born in the first half of the 18th century. in St. Petersburg. Xenia's husband died, leaving her a widow at the age of twenty-six. Having distributed all her property, the saint put on the costume of her late husband and responded only to his name. She was considered crazy, but it was her cross - a feat of foolishness voluntarily undertaken. Having met Xenia, the mothers handed her children: it was believed that the touch of the saint of God gives the baby health. Ksenia treated the sick, prayed for childless women who dreamed of becoming pregnant, and never asked for alms. And what compassionate people donated, she distributed to the poor. At night, Ksenia rarely slept - she prayed. She also worked on the construction of a church at the Smolensk cemetery. For feats and patience, the Lord vouchsafed her the gift of insight into hearts and the future. The blessed one died at the seventy-first year of her life and was buried at the Smolensk cemetery.
At the beginning of the 19th century, a grave hill was simply poured over the burial place of the deceased, but people who came to Blessed Xenia prayed, asked for her intercession and help, often took with them a little earth from her grave, and thus, the hill gradually disappeared. The hill, again poured on the grave, suffered the same fate. Then a stone slab was placed on the grave. But the stone slab was gradually disassembled into pieces and carried away by believers. After that, it was decided to build a chapel over the grave of Xenia of the Blessed.
The Chapel of Xenia of St. Petersburg, built in 1902 at the Smolensk Cemetery of Vasilevsky Island near the grave of Xenia of St. Petersburg, is a special place: people go to the saint in the hope of finding love and becoming parents. To turn to Xenia for help, you need to leave a note with a request at the chapel, light a candle, then go around the chapel three times.
8. To mountain Ulutau or Mother0004 (Republic of Kabardino - Balkaria).
The highest mountain of the Adyrsu gorge (4277.3 meters), which is located on the territory of the Elbrus national reserve, has many names: Divine Mountain, Ulutau, Mother Mountain. Mount Ulutau impresses with its grandeur and pristine beauty.
The legend says that the shrine fulfills only the desires of women: the one who could not get married in any way finds a groom, and the barren one, who climbed the Mother Mountain, becomes pregnant in the same year. The most unhappy and desperate, returning home, dramatically changed their fate. Their careers took off. The unemployed within a month or two suddenly received offers that they did not even dare to dream of. Singles quickly and successfully married. Aspiring to divorce - reconciled.
This place is popular in Nalchik. Special groups are organized for those wishing to make a pilgrimage. In order for the cherished desire to come true, a special state of body and spirit is necessary. The conditions for ascent are the same for everyone - a complete rejection of civilization and meat food. There is no electricity in the wooden house where the guests of Mother Mountain stay. In order to warm the water, a fire is made, but this does not frighten women who are ready for anything for the sake of a child. It is no coincidence that the locals call it God's mountain. "Here you feel like in a temple.
Meditations and prayers are held on the mountain, after which a piece of cloth with a wish is tied to a tree at the foot. The tree growing here is full of ribbons. One word is carefully drawn on each: “son” or “daughter”.
9. in Kolomenskoye , Where are “Maiden Stone” and “Goose Stone” (Moscow).
Kolomenskoye is one of the most beautiful parks in Moscow. It used to be a royal residence, now it is a museum-reserve. There are many historical monuments here: the Church of the Ascension of the Lord, the House of Peter I, the wooden church of St. George the Victorious, a water mill, the lion gates of the Moscow Kremlin and much more.
But there are mystical and mysterious places here. In the former village of Dyakovo in Kolomenskoye, on the edge of a ravine called Golosov, stands the Church of the Beheading of John the Baptist. This place has long been known as a mysterious and anomalous place. At the bottom of the Voice ravine there are two huge stones: "Maiden" and "Gus". Their weight is about 5 thousand tons. The bulk of these boulders are in the ground, and small peaks come to the surface. These blocks of quartz sandstone of the Lower Cretaceous period brought glaciers to Moscow from Scandinavia during the Ice Age. The ancient pagans used these stones as altars on which sacrifices were made to the gods. Many believe that these giant giants still have not lost their magical properties. They still energize and help fulfill wishes.
Maiden Stone is shaped like a turtle. It is believed that each part of it, with the right interaction, heals one or another organ, and it is especially effective for female infertility. According to some reports, this stone is called Perunov, its age is 4-5 thousand years. And if a man sits on the "Goose Stone", his "male" strength will double. It is believed that their age is 4-5 thousand years.
Legends explain the appearance of these wonderful stones in the following way. Saint George fought the Serpent. George won, but lost his horse. Its remnants turned into a “Male” and “Male” stone, which is better known as “Goose”. Where the horse's hooves stepped, springs formed there.
Here is the ritual to be done in a holy place for infertility in order to get pregnant. Women need to bring ribbons.
1. Draw some water from the spring (better to take a small mug with you).
2. Sit on the "Maiden" stone and silently make a wish.
3. Drink some water
4. Tie a ribbon near a nearby tree.
The husband can do this ritual with the male "Goose-stone"
10. Icon of the Mother of God called "Help in childbirth" (Nizhny Novgorod region, Arzamas).
Icon of the Most Holy Theotokos with the inscription "Kako helps wives to give birth to children." This icon is very popular among expectant mothers. There is evidence of the gift of a child to spouses who have not had children for many years after praying in front of this image. This icon is located in the Resurrection Cathedral in Arzamas, Nizhny Novgorod Region. In Soviet times, this Cathedral was turned into an anti-religious museum and all the shrines from nearby churches and monasteries were brought there. Also here is the Holy Crucifixion of Jesus Christ in the growth of a man and about 10 ancient miraculous icons, some of which periodically stream myrrh.
Ed Huben: interview with the babymaker who gave birth to 106 children
Europe's leading babymaker Ed Huben fathered at least 106 babies. At first, he just donated sperm (sterile room, plastic cup). Then - with the support of women who want to be fertilized - he began to do it naturally (sex!). The demand for his services is greater than ever.
A couple of months ago, a female professor from Germany, guided by the ovulation schedule, arrived in the Dutch city of Maastricht and headed to one of its districts - not far from the center, on the banks of the Meuse River . She parked at a distance so as not to meet anyone (she has several fellow professors here), and quickly walked along the sidewalk towards Ed Huben's apartment. On the way, she met a father and son walking around the evening city. “Look, son,” said the father, pointing to the window of the third floor, from which a measured radiance poured, spread by a lamp in the shape of a star. “The babymaker lives here.”
When the professor told Ed about this, he was overjoyed. Not everyone likes what he does. He often has to spend a lot of time explaining the essence of his vocation, including all his Dutch honesty for this. The dialogue between father and son is Ed's small victory, his contribution to the creation of a world in which the babymaker lives quietly in the neighborhood, without causing anyone bouts of shame or foul language. He lives and works, always in full combat readiness.
Ed slept with someone else's wife for the first time in Amsterdam. It was 15 years ago, he was then 32 years old. He considered himself an unattractive fat man, with whom hardly anyone would want to spend the night. Ed wasn't a virgin, but his intimate life wasn't in full swing. The last time he had sex was ten years ago, although, according to him, he already had something to do. Work, voluntary participation in the National Guard and the reconstruction of historical battles - typical activities for men of this build and lifestyle - took all the time and effort. Then Ed made an important decision. Imbued with the conviction that his family does not shine for him, he decided to become a sperm donor. Twice a month he came to the clinic and donated semen in exchange for money. The first time they didn't even ask him for his name. “I thought it was a solemn ceremony, accompanied by fanfare,” complains Ed. - I remember I shouted that the job was done, and the voice from the other room simply answered: "Yes, yes, leave it on the table."
The more he shared his seed with the world, the more intimacy he wanted. Ed began to advertise his willingness to serve those who wanted to acquire his sperm privately. In other words, go home. "Produce a product" in the bathroom, deliver it upstairs to the bedroom - knock-knock, it's me, your future baby - and quietly leave, giving happy parents the opportunity to use his gift on their own.
Then, in Amsterdam, everything was as it should be. A woman on a bicycle met him at the station, took him to her home, where her husband was waiting for them. She cooked dinner, the three of them talked until eleven o'clock. The woman smoked a joint, then, all nervous, went upstairs. The husband continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. But Ed worked full time in Maastricht, then spent two hours shaking on the train - and by that time he had sat up so much that he missed the last train home. It even occurred to him that he was perhaps too carried away by serving other people's needs.
He knew how much the couple wanted a child, and just as much wanted to help them. Sperm donation, no matter how ridiculous it may sound, has become the meaning of his life. “I have to ask you a question,” Ed cut him off. “I see your wife is very nervous.” “Yes, I noticed too,” the husband replied. – You see, she is an artist and feels a very strong connection with nature. In other words, she cannot imagine that a happy baby could be born from a syringe for 12 cents. She told me to ask you - she herself is embarrassed - if you would do us the courtesy to conceive our child in a natural way.
Ed was shocked. “I didn’t know what to answer, although I got into a situation that most men would find exciting. A man asks to have sex with his wife without any consequences, and I only asked in response: “How long ago were you tested for STDs?” Ed lingered for a full 15 minutes on the border separating his usual activity of an artificial "inseminator" from a new role - a "natural inseminator". To the unfortunate couple, that quarter of an hour must have felt like an eternity. Ed wondered if there was anything unethical about their proposal. If he agrees, who will he offend? Isn't that the way seven billion inhabitants of the Earth are conceived? In the end, he decided: come what may.
Went upstairs and entered the room; seeing him, the woman showed with her whole appearance how much better she felt. When Ed turned to make his husband understand that, they say, "I will continue to act", he saw that he had already taken off his pants. “There were three of us in bed: I was so surprised that I could not utter a word. Different thoughts fought in my head, including the most terrible ones. However, he never touched me. I just wanted to be present at the conception of my child.” After that, the presence of her husband was no longer a problem for Ed. And it’s not that he limits himself to straight married couples: he has hundreds of single women and lesbians on his resume. But in sex with this married couple there was also moral satisfaction - something that gave everything an almost sacred meaning. By allowing him to copulate with their wives, the men also embarked on a kind of journey that was as surprising and intimate for themselves as it was for their other half. By performing this sudden act of generosity and at the same time chastening, Ed gained a rare chance to save the couple from eternal mutual accusations of infertility and complete degradation of the relationship. Sharing his seed with other people's wives, he gave them the greatest gift - a child - and put the last missing piece into the family puzzle. The last thing Ed could count on in return was gratitude. But he just got it - with a vengeance.
Now 48, Ed Huben is one of the most prominent babymakers on the planet, the father of 106 children, two-thirds of whom are born naturally, that is, through sexual intercourse, and a third through artificial insemination. Plus, according to his calculations, about 30 more were conceived from his sperm donated at the clinic. But let's look at it from a different angle: Ed Huben, who once had sex once every ten years, has had about ten children a year for the past 15. And he continues to do them, at the same time writing his name into history: the BBC has already dubbed him “the most prolific man in Europe”, and European media often call him “sperminator”.
The key to the success of Ed's spermator is total openness. Go to his site, which is overshadowed by the "It's great that you found my site!", and you will see that Ed recently tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia (negative) and that he also does not have AIDS or syphilis. You can look at his photographs; on one of them, he, squatting, examines a curly-haired girl (probably one of his children).
Ed has no problem calling himself a "really ugly fat guy with glasses". A corpulent bachelor with a square head and an uneven set of lower teeth, Ed lives in a fairly large five-room apartment by Dutch standards, where his mother periodically comes to cook and clean. He doesn't have a car - he rides a bicycle in any weather. In short, Ed Huben is the strangest candidate for the title of "inseminator" and, apparently, the best in the world.
He looks absolutely normal, but lives an extremely unusual life. He drinks his morning coffee and goes to work (to spare his employers, he does not give away his place of work; it is only known that it is connected with the history of Maastricht, and he receives €18,000 a year). Walks around the Old Town, greets friends with a cheerful smile. His off-duty schedule, in contrast, consists of an ever-changing list of appointments, the details of which are dictated by the ovulation schedules of female clients visiting from all over Europe, as well as from Brazil, Australia, Hong Kong and Japan. Sometimes they take him to their place to make friends. In one record week, he had six partners and 14 ejaculations (resulting in the release of 4 billion sperm!). Another time he slept with three women in one day, and once he knocked up eight women in a row.
A few years ago, in an article by Spiegel, one of his clients, whom he himself found on a site for those who want to get pregnant, described him as follows: “There are no problems with Ed at all, he is so inconspicuous.” And here are the words of another woman with whom I spoke personally: “What he does is wonderful. But, on the other hand, he does not force himself. He is a man, and part of him may want to help us have a baby, but the other half wants to fuck the women he likes. Personally, I don't see a problem with this. Are we not allowed to enjoy sex? He doesn't force anyone." Over time, Ed got rid of shyness and complexes and now plays his boudoir role with confidence and dignity. He especially notes the fact that, according to his own research on the Internet, the chances of conceiving are higher when everything happens naturally and the woman has an orgasm (experts cannot agree on both issues). Ed hasn't tested his sperm for a long time, but previous tests have shown that his gums have an above-average potency; he says that although he's about to be 50, his sperm is "no worse than that of a 20-year-old."
In addition, Ed claims that his bedroom is completely equal and that for the first ten years of his career, he did not pay any attention to the appearance of his clients. In the past five years, he has revised his policy and now asks for photographs: "All women are perfect, but in a purely physical sense, some are more perfect than others." In any case, you cannot refuse him altruism: for those who have very little dignity and money left in their lives, he offers a free way out of the situation. “I am rich in children,” the sperminator jokes, “not in money.”
Ed likes to tell a story about how he was afraid to confess to his friends, fearing that he would be considered a lecherous lecher; friends, on the contrary, considered his actions exceptionally noble. He functions within a moral dilemma, but is not bothered by it: “Children should be born as a consequence of an act of kindness. They need to know that their father is not just a number on a filing cabinet. I forbid myself to be proud of what I do. I have no children; Others have children, with my humble help.”
His contract with future mothers and families is this: if your children want to know who their biological father is, I am at your service; maybe when they grow up they want to look for me. I will never pester you or lay claim to a child. I trust you and accept our verbal agreement that you will not demand money from me to raise a child and that I transfer all the rights to raise him to you. Until now, this faith-based agreement has never let Ed down: none of his clients have filed a lawsuit to get money from him for financial support of children.
Ed doesn't mind talking to the children he has conceived, but only if they want to get to know him.
Ed Huben - family savior or sex machine? Or, as seems likely in our hybrid age, both at the same time? “I help both the rich and the poor,” Ed praises himself. - They turn to me because they have reached the pen, disbelieving in medicine. I'm offering them a far more acceptable option than a one night stand."
Ed's house visits go like this. If a regular client comes, then you can omit the formalities and, after a little freshening up and chatting, you can immediately get down to business. If a woman is showing up for the first time (and they often have to travel long distances to get to Ed), communication must first be established. Some do it in one day. With others, you have to work longer, and Ed is willing to spend as much time as he wants to make a woman comfortable. When the connection is established, they go to the guest room. “This is where the magic happens – the creation of life,” Ed says without a hint of irony, showing me a small room.
The decor of the guest room corresponds to its true purpose: a double bed with pink linen, night tables on both sides, on them there are books on how to choose a name for a child, how to become a successful single mother, advice to pregnant women and new mothers. On the wall is the mantra Keep calm and have a baby, on the shelves are pads, fresh panties, bottles of water and juice. Sometimes clients leave small gifts - lotion or a sealed pregnancy test. Among the trinkets scattered around the room is a figurine of a woman (pregnant) and a child touching her belly.
Ed doesn't mind if the client stays overnight, as long as she is comfortable. If necessary, he is ready to try to achieve the goal several times. It gets more difficult when people come from far away: his Asian clients used to be delayed for ten days. Ed is honest with them and immediately warns about his schedule, which is entirely tied to the ovulation charts of other clients (he can have a dozen women in rotation at the same time). If during the visit he has free time, which is rare, he gladly shows the ladies around the city. He gives the guest room to clients: he gives out a couple of keys and explains how to get around the city by bus.
Ed seems to live the life of a libertine, but he is also the owner of a kind of existential Airbnb where he constantly welcomes new guests, taking on some of their joys and sorrows. Problems start when someone shows a desire to spend time out of bed with him (there were six such women, according to Ed). During the 15 years of his "insemination" career, Ed, according to him, had three girlfriends, all of them were former clients, and none of them, ironically, got pregnant from him. At the moment, a Vietnamese woman wants to spend time with him outside of "work", but her visit coincides with the arrival of a married couple from Taiwan, which threatens to cause unnecessary problems.
In an untidy office across the flat, Ed shows me photographs of women and their children, half of whom he knows: Jacob from Jerusalem, Eva from Berlin. Some of them are of mixed race and different religions: a Muslim daughter, a son is an Orthodox Jew. Sometimes he can't remember the name. Scrolling through the photos, Ed comments: “This one looks like a mother, this one looks like a father. It's funny, but half of my children are blond. In this connection, if we recall what we were told about genetics in school, the question arises: how is this possible?
One of Ed's personal heroes is the mysterious Englishman Derek, engaged after the First World War by the legendary feminist Helena Rose Wright. During the war, about a million British men died, and even more returned mentally and physically crippled. Wright came up with the idea: for couples who could not conceive, the services of an "inseminator" were offered. Derek was a handsome man who had made a name for himself on the plantations of British Malaya. He was sent a telegram about the dates of ovulation, and he hurried to the rescue: he fertilized and dissolved. According to rumors, he conceived 496 children.
Nowadays, among the followers of Derek and Ed's "colleagues" there are a lot of crooks. One of them is a "benefactor" who offered himself for free sex, but turned out to be completely fruitless. Another prolific sperminator was autistic. A Dane codenamed Donor 7042 helped conceive 99 children (of which 34 were in America). Then it turned out that he suffers from a dangerous disease that is inherited, can cause cancer and in some cases can shorten the life of offspring by 15 years. Ten of the children passed on the disease of the biological parent.
Ed describes his clients as if he were reading parts of a forbidden novel aloud. He happened to sleep with a pianist and former lingerie models. With 13 doctors. One disabled client had to be carried two floors up to her apartment. The other couldn't control her expression, but without clothes, she was the most beautiful woman Ed had ever seen. Another - from the former socialist camp - knew exactly how to deliver and receive erotic pleasure. “I saw a documentary where it was said that people from the former socialist camp are great lovers. Love in the absence of money was one of the few forms of self-expression available to them. One lesbian informed him that since she would only do "it" with a man once in her life, she wanted to try "absolutely everything."
Next, Ed reports on the husbands. One, from Istanbul, e-mailed a detailed description of how to arouse his wife in bed - and then, after a long drive, sat in a rented car while Ed and his wife copulated, so as not to meet him in person. Husbands came across with testicular cancer. Another one - a resident of Belarus - was born near Chernobyl. Like many men of his generation who grew up in those places, after a large number of attempts to have a child, he found out that he was infertile. The Chernobyl couple traveled 1,500 kilometers to Maastricht and stayed with him for three days; while Ed impregnated his wife, the husband watched TV in the living room. “They start thinking about meeting me after 15 years of futile attempts to get pregnant. That is, they don’t suddenly say to themselves: well, I’m sterile, so let this Dutch man fuck my wife.
Another husband frightened Ed with his appearance. A huge commando of a menacing appearance. When his wife told him she was still a virgin, Ed couldn't believe it. Then the husband dropped his pants. “Some have not been very lucky with their personalities. This one had an erect penis the size of a little finger.” The commando husband said that it would be a great gift to give his wife a chance to get pregnant and, in addition, to have sex with a “normal man” at least once. Nevertheless, he remained in the room to take part in the procedure.
Sometimes Ed's frankness is annoying. But Huben's doctrine, which he preaches, is cold and simple: the medical system does not work, and the couples who come to him have given up trying all other methods and are "beyond jealousy." The reason for his openness is to make his motivation very clear. So that his children know what motivated him, that the basis of his actions was concern for their interests, on the basis of which he copulated with their mothers.
In addition to the one obvious one, Ed plays many other roles: quasi-psychotherapist, quasi-friend, quasi-lover, and quasi-father. His life revolves around ovulation thermometers, pregnancy tests, bodily fluids, and occasional bursts of joy when everything works out. His relationship with clients is far from simple. After talking with Ed, you understand that the prefix "quasi-" is most likely the key one. And in general, at 50 he plans to quit - at this age, according to him, the quality of sperm decreases. Will he miss his current life? “I will probably miss diversity, but in any case, I would trade it all for love, for my own family. But I have built my life in such a way that all this is most likely unattainable. I think that soon a void will begin to gape in my life.
When the conversation turns back to the guest room, I ask if Ed has any specific trade secrets. "Plain secrets," Ed replies. The missionary position is the most correct, although he prefers to do it from the side (especially "if the body is tired", which, given the 40 hours a week in the service and the busy female schedule, is almost always true in his case). Foreplay - manual and oral? Ed nods, then clarifies: “All forms of erotic play are acceptable as long as they help achieve the goal. The more we are ready to accept each other as lovers - in a purely physical sense - the more excited, the greater the chance of success.
Has he had an accident at work? Maybe he fell out of bed or hit his head on the headboard? "No never". Although some time ago, when he was a test-tube artificial "inseminator", he happened to become a victim of an unpleasant ailment. At the time, Ed was inundated with donor orders; accordingly, had to masturbate intensively. “Sores went on the skin of the penis and did not heal. Even the family doctor could not help. I had to leave the instrument alone for a month and a half. I then decided: well, the universe wanted a child to be born, but now it doesn’t. During those six months, he changed his mind about many things. “Thoughts appeared that, they say, everything is simpler in a natural way, because there is always a lubricant in it.”
Sexually transmitted diseases? “I check every six months. If you give women free rein, you will have to be checked every week, but, thank God, no one has yet taken me for a heroin addict.”
Do you ever go on dates outside of work? "What for? My life is all about one-night stands. But I would love to have a relationship."
Is there a downside? “When they get pregnant, they disappear. You feel like an empty shell in some way.”
The strangest request in the bedroom? “There were none that I would call strange. I respect the determination of women who have chosen the natural method of insemination, although this may seem strange to some.”
Is Ed afraid of running out of sperm? “I have been thinking about this for a long time. Three days of abstinence is usually enough to replenish supplies. Once a woman from Germany came to me. We met her six times in a hotel in Maastricht - slept together, everything was nice. As soon as she left, a Belgian couple swooped in: they called me on my mobile phone and said that they were ovulating. I told them: “Listen, I just finished doing this for two hours.” And they: "Better a small chance than none." That small chance is now a seven-year-old girl.”