Should i have a abortion

Should I Get An Abortion?

In This Section

• Considering Abortion

• What facts do I need to know about abortion?

Is abortion the right option for me?

Abortion is common, and people have abortions for many different reasons.  Only you know what’s best for you, but good information and support can help you make the decision that's best for your own health and well-being. 

Why do people decide to have an abortion?

If you’re thinking about having an abortion, you’re not alone. Millions of people face unplanned pregnancies every year, and about 4 out of 10 of them decide to get an abortion. Some people with planned pregnancies also get abortions because of health or safety reasons. Overall, about 1 in 4 women in the U.S. will have an abortion by the time they’re 45 years old.

Sometimes, the decision is simple. Other times, it’s complicated. But either way, the decision to have an abortion is personal, and you’re the only one who can make it.

Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for having an abortion. Some of the many different reasons people decide to end a pregnancy include:

• They want to be the best parent possible to the kids they already have.
• They’re not ready to be a parent yet.
• It’s not a good time in their life to have a baby.
• They want to finish school, focus on work, or achieve other goals before having a baby.
• They’re not in a relationship with someone they want to have a baby with.
• They’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted.
• The pregnancy is dangerous or bad for their health.
• The fetus won’t survive the pregnancy or will suffer after birth.
• They just don’t want to be a parent.

Deciding to have an abortion doesn’t mean you don’t want or love children. In fact, 6 out of 10 people who get abortions already have kids — and many of them decide to end their pregnancies so they can focus on the children they already have. And people who aren’t already parents when they get an abortion often go on to have a baby later, when they feel they're in a better position to be a good parent. The bottom line is, deciding if and when to have a baby is very personal, and only you know what’s best for you and your family.    

What can I think about to help me decide?

Family, relationships, school, work, life goals, health, safety, and personal beliefs — people think carefully about these things before having an abortion. But you’re the only person walking in your shoes, and the only person who can decide whether to have an abortion.   

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about an abortion:

• Am I ready to be a parent?
• Would I consider adoption?
• What would it mean for my future if I had a child now?
• What would it mean for my family if I had a child now?
• How would being a parent affect my career goals?
• Do I have strong personal or religious beliefs about abortion?
• Is anyone pressuring me to have or not have an abortion?
• Would having a baby change my life in a way I do or don’t want?
• Would having an abortion change my life in a way I do or don’t want?
• What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to get an abortion?
• What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to have a baby?

Decisions about your pregnancy are personal. There are lots of things to consider, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making this decision. That’s why it’s important to get factual, non-judgmental information about abortion. Support from family, friends, partners, and other people you trust can also be helpful. But the decision is 100% yours. 

Who can I talk with about getting an abortion?

Lots of people lean on others to help them with their decision. It’s good to choose people who are understanding and supportive of you.

Your local Planned Parenthood health center has caring professionals that can answer any questions you may have. They'll give you expert care, accurate information about all your options, and non-judgmental support along the way — no matter what you decide about your pregnancy.

Other family planning centers, private doctors, and abortion providers may also talk with you about your decision. But when you’re looking for a reliable health center, beware of anti-abortion “crisis pregnancy centers. ” These are places that may seem like normal medical clinics and claim to offer information about pregnancy options and abortion, but they don't provide abortion or a full range of health care. They often give you false or misleading information about pregnancy, abortion, and birth control, and they usually don't have to follow privacy laws. Crisis pregnancy centers are often located very close to Planned Parenthood health centers or other real medical centers, and have similar names — they do this to confuse people and trick them into visiting them instead. 

No one should pressure you into making any decision about your pregnancy, no matter what. So it’s important to get the info and support you need from people who give you the real facts and won’t judge you.

If you’re having a hard time finding someone in your life to talk with, check out:

• All-Options: All-Options has a free hotline that gives you a confidential space to talk about making decisions about a pregnancy. They’ll give you judgment-free support at any point in your pregnancy experience, no matter what you decide to do or how you feel about it.    
• Abortions Welcome: Abortions Welcome has nonjudgmental written and interactive resources to support you in making your decision, including a clergy counseling line, where you can talk to compassionate clergy and religious counselors about spiritual concerns.

When do I have to make a decision?

It’s important to take the time you need to make the best decision for you. It’s also a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so you can get the best medical care possible. The staff at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center is always here to provide expert medical care and support, no matter what decision you make.

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View Planned Parenthood health centers that provide abortion care and get the information you need to schedule an appointment.

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What facts about abortion do I need to know?

In This Section

• Considering Abortion

• What facts do I need to know about abortion?

Abortion is a very safe procedure. Here are the facts about your options, the different kinds of abortion, and what to expect.

What are the different kinds of abortion?

Medication abortion, also known as the “abortion pill,” is when you take medicines that you get from a trained doctor or nurse to end an early pregnancy. In-clinic abortion is done in a health center by a trained doctor or nurse. Both kinds of abortion are safe and effective.

First trimester abortion facts:

If you need an abortion and have passed your first trimester, you can learn about your in-clinic abortion options.

Is abortion safe?

Both in-clinic and medication abortions are very safe. In fact, abortion is one of the safest medical procedures out there. Overall, about 1 in 4 women in the U.S. will have an abortion by the time they’re 45 years old.

You can count on Planned Parenthood for expert, quality sexual and reproductive health care, including abortion.  We regularly review new medical research and get updates from groups like the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the World Health Organization, and the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

Serious problems after an abortion are very rare.  But like any medicine or medical procedure, there are some risks. Learn more about the risks of in-clinic abortion and the risks of the abortion pill.

How will I feel after having an abortion?

You will get written after-care instructions and a phone number you can call if you have any questions or concerns. You may have to come back for a check up or lab work after your procedure.

Plan on resting after your abortion. You can usually go back to work, school and most other normal activities the next day. Avoid hard work or heavy exercise for a few days. You can use pads, tampons, or a menstrual cup for any bleeding —  whatever's the most comfortable for you. But your nurse or doctor may recommend you use pads so you can track how much you're bleeding. You can have sex as soon as you feel ready.

Most people feel fine within a day or two, but it’s common for bleeding to last for a week (or several weeks after the abortion pill). Cramping can happen for a few days.

It’s totally normal to have a lot of different emotions after your abortion. Everyone’s experience is different, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. Most people are relieved and don’t regret their decision. Others may feel sadness, guilt, or regret after an abortion. Lots of people have all these feelings at different times. These feelings aren’t unique to having an abortion. People feel many different emotions after giving birth, too.

It’s rare to have serious, long-term effects on your mental health after an abortion. But everybody’s different, and certain things can make coping with an abortion hard. Most people feel better if they have someone supportive to talk to after an abortion. But even if you don’t think there’s anybody in your life you can talk with, you’re not alone. Your nurse or doctor can talk with you, or help you find a licensed counselor or a non-judgmental support group. You can also call Exhale or All-Options, free after-abortion talklines. They will give you confidential and non-judgmental emotional support after your abortion — no matter how you’re feeling. For spiritual support before, during, or after an abortion, check out Abortions Welcome.

Will an abortion affect my health?

Abortion is safe. Unless there’s a rare and serious complication that’s not treated, there’s no risk to your ability to have children in the future or to your overall health. Having an abortion doesn’t increase your risk for breast cancer, and it doesn’t cause depression or mental health issues. Abortions don’t cause infertility either. In fact, it’s possible to get pregnant quickly after you have an abortion. So it’s a good idea to talk to your nurse or doctor about a birth control plan for after your abortion.

There are many myths out there about abortion. The nurses and doctors at Planned Parenthood can give you accurate information about any concerns you have.

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Pregnancy or abortion - City Clinical Hospital No. 3 named after. BI Alperovich

The statistics are sad: in Russia, out of three pregnancies, only one ends in childbirth. Almost 10% of women of childbearing age have an abortion once a year, and 60% of women terminate their first pregnancy in this way. That is, abortion remains the most common method of "contraception".

Establishing the facts of pregnancy

Pregnancy or delay?

I think it's superfluous to remind you that it's a holy woman's job to keep track of her monthly cycle. At the slightest uncertainty that you are now ready to save, endure and give birth to a child, in the very first days of a delay in menstruation - run to the doctor. Pregnancy of a teenage girl, which is currently not so rare, is rarely detected before the notorious three months: it happens that the girl has not had regular periods at all or she has not yet got used to keeping a calendar, as adult women do. As a result, hopes that everything will “come” or “dissolve” are not justified. nine0003

Of course, if you're not pregnant, everything will work itself out. What if you are still pregnant? The later you decide to have an abortion, the greater the likelihood of complications. The fact is that most non-surgical methods of abortion are effective only in the early stages, with a delay of several days. But ladies, unfortunately, in such a situation, most often "wait by the sea for the weather" ...

How to establish the fact of pregnancy?

A missed period is not necessarily pregnancy. Nervous tension, lack of sleep, weight loss (whether it's just malnutrition or taking weight loss pills) have the right to affect your cycle. By the way, even in the most healthy woman, when weight is reduced to the minimum, interruptions in menstruation will begin, and then they will stop altogether. Nature is arranged so that in critical situations of a global scale (wars, revolutions), which are necessarily accompanied by stress and hunger, women do not lose blood, and do not become pregnant, and do not give birth. nine0003

Will an ultrasound always help?

The only reliable way to determine pregnancy is an ultrasound examination (ultrasound). Ultrasound is one of the most reliable diagnostic methods. However, in the first weeks of delay, he is still not able to reliably “consider” pregnancy, and time is running out.

Establishing pregnancy by hormone levels

"Test strip". This is the simplest of the express pregnancy diagnostic tools you can buy at any pharmacy kiosk. The principle of such a diagnosis is simple - during pregnancy, from the very first day after conception, there is a change in the level of hormones in the woman's blood. The fetal egg (future fetus) produces hormones that enter the bloodstream, and from there into the urine, the test is based on determining the level of one of these hormones (chorionic gonadotropin). nine0003

Advice - buy the test in the evening and use it in the morning: in the morning urine, the concentration of the hormone is much higher than during the day.

Laboratory tests. More sophisticated methods for determining pregnancy are based on measuring the level of hormones in a woman's body in a laboratory way. You take an analysis: blood from a vein or urine, and after a while you get the result. In this case, the level of another, more specific hormone, trophoblastic beta-globulin, is usually determined, which gives more reliable information about the timing of a possible pregnancy. nine0003

The laboratory method is much more reliable, although more time consuming.

So, pregnancy has been established

You are not going to keep this pregnancy for some reason. What is the first thing a good doctor should tell you?

First, that all sorts of homemade methods, like sitting in a hot bath with a glass of vodka, are effective only if there was no actual pregnancy. Conclusion: never try to get rid of a pregnancy on your own! nine0003

Secondly, about the fact that any, even a well-performed abortion, can lead to negative consequences for the female body: the menstrual cycle can be restored in 3-4 months; in nulliparous, the restoration of all functions can be delayed for up to six months or more;

abortion is the most common cause of gynecological diseases, after an abortion every fifth woman develops them; nine0003

abortion disrupts the work of the endocrine and nervous systems, reduces the body's resistance;

a woman subconsciously perceives abortion as violence against her own body - this is psychological stress that can lead to changes in the psyche;

Like any other operation, abortion can cause a number of complications of varying severity.

Thirdly, if all these arguments do not convince you and you still decide to have an abortion, a good doctor should tell you how to act in order to minimize the consequences of an abortion. And he will advise you something like this:

Inform the father of the unborn child about the pregnancy and make a decision together.

Have an abortion as soon as possible (it is safer to terminate a pregnancy before 6 weeks). In general, at the first suspicion of an unplanned pregnancy (delayed menstruation), you should immediately contact a gynecologist. Don't delay - every day is precious.

Depending on your situation, choose the safest method of abortion.

What method is right for you, the doctor will tell you, the purpose of this article is to acquaint a woman with all the possibilities of modern medicine, to acquaint and once again (alas, often not superfluous!) Warn: when determining the method of abortion, you only choose the least of several evils; The choice of a person who really cares about his health is the choice of contraceptives!

Non-surgical abortion

Homeopathy

Efficiency of not more than 20%

needle-reflex therapy

Efficiency up to 40% with a small (10-15 days) delay and depends on the qualifications of the specialist

Magnetic induction (“Magnetic cap)

based on artificial disruption of the normal transmission of electrical impulses from the uterus to the brain, causing contractile activity of the uterus and provoking miscarriage

Effectiveness 50% with a delay of no more than 3-5 days, is used only if there are no contraindications

Medical abortion ("French pills") eggs

Efficacy 90-95% up to 42 days late

Surgical abortion

Vacuum aspiration (“mini-abortion”)

for pregnancy up to 4-5 weeks

Medical abortion

Instrumental removal of the fetal egg while tugs over the uterine cavity

for 12 pregnancy periods up to 12 weeks

“Late abortion”

Solutions inducing labor are introduced into the fetal bladder

For periods of more than 12 weeks of pregnancy for special indications

Small Caesarean section

Breeding pregnancy for a long period for medical reasons

Good abortions do not have

Abortions are usually divided into early (Up to 12 weeks of pregnancy) and later (from 12 to 28 weeks) performed according to special indications. In practice, induced abortion is most often used in early pregnancy. There is also such a thing as a mini-abortion, it is done at an extra early date (from 12 to 25 days of delay). nine0003

Methods of termination of pregnancy

Non-surgical methods of termination of pregnancy have a huge advantage over traditional abortion, as they minimize possible complications. There is no penetration of instruments into the uterus, so there are no tears, ruptures or any other mechanical injuries. There are no inflammatory complications and, finally, there are no complications associated with anesthesia. Among the disadvantages are the presence of a number of contraindications and a sharp decrease in effectiveness as the gestational age increases. nine0003

But if the deadline is missed, only a classic abortion remains in stock. When choosing a clinic for this operation, it is important to pay attention to the following circumstances: first of all, the clinic must have a license, and the doctor must have a certificate. The operation must be performed under general anesthesia (narcosis). To do it, of course, should be in sterile conditions. It is also highly desirable to conduct a course of antibiotic treatment after an abortion to prevent infection.

Russian legislation on abortion

In pre-revolutionary Russia, abortion was considered a crime, the responsibility for which was borne both by the woman herself and by the person who performed the operation (the woman was threatened with imprisonment in a house of correction, and the doctor was in prison).

After the revolution, the situation changed: By the Decree of the People's Commissariat of Health and the People's Commissariat of Justice of November 16, 1920 On the artificial termination of pregnancy, abortions were legalized. nine0003

Then, in 1936, due to the difficult demographic situation, abortions were again banned on pain of criminal liability (Decree of the Central Executive Committee and Council of People's Commissars of the USSR of June 27, 1936 "On the prohibition of abortion").

On November 23, 1955, by the Decree of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR “On the abolition of the prohibition of abortion”, the operation of artificial termination of pregnancy was allowed for all women in the absence of medical contraindications. Order of the Ministry of Health of the USSR dated 29On November 1956, the Instruction “On the procedure for performing an artificial termination of pregnancy (abortion)” was adopted, which regulated this issue in detail, in 1961 some changes were made to it regarding the issuance of sick leave.

At the same time, the performance of an illegal (criminal) abortion entailed a rather severe punishment. Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the RSFSR (1960) provided for liability (from 1 to 8 years in prison with deprivation of the right to engage in medical activities) for illegal abortion by a person without a higher medical education and even by a doctor without special training, as well as for abortion outside a specialized medical institution . A number of the Criminal Codes of the Union republics also provided for liability for forcing a woman to have an abortion. nine0003

Currently, abortion is officially permitted, but its production is strictly regulated by the Instruction on the procedure for performing an artificial termination of pregnancy (approved by Order of the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation No. 242 dated June 11, 1996), the deviation from which entails criminal liability in the form of freedom for up to 5 years with deprivation of the right to engage in medical activities.

Abortion is allowed only in stationary medical institutions specially designed for carrying out such operations, with a gestation period of not more than 12 weeks. nine0003

If there are medical or social indications, it is possible to have an abortion even after 12 but up to 22 weeks. Medical indications are considered to be the presence of diseases in a woman that pose a threat to her life and health during pregnancy and childbirth; serious illness in the unborn child. These indications are contained in the List of medical indications for artificial termination of pregnancy (approved by Order of the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation No. 302 of December 28, 1993).

Abortion for social reasons: minority of a pregnant woman, large families, stay in a correctional institution, pregnancy during the war, etc. (their list was approved by Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation No. 567 of May 8, 1996) is carried out after consideration of each specific case by a special commission.

Underage pregnant women under 15 years of age have an abortion only with the consent of their parents or persons replacing them (Article 32 of the Fundamentals of Legislation on Healthcare of the Russian Federation). nine0003

How Russian doctors discourage women from having abortions and what to do in such a situation

Afisha Daily recorded the stories of three women whom doctors persistently persuaded to keep the pregnancy, and asked the lawyer what to do in such a situation.

Svetlana's story

“Why do I need this child? For me to associate him with his father?” nine0222

When I gave birth to my first daughter, I was eighteen years old. Despite such a young age, my husband (already ex) and I wanted a child, I became pregnant consciously.

About a year and a half after the birth of my daughter, I had a delay. We were protected by interruption of sexual intercourse, and everything was fine, but not this time. I immediately decided that I would have an abortion.

I just went to work then, my grandmother stayed to sit with her daughter. I began to feel like a person, because I began to earn money myself, I didn’t have to ask anyone and humiliate myself. Knowing that the difference between the children would be so small, and my husband was constantly spreading his arms, I decided not to give birth. Why do I need this child? For me to associate him with his father? nine0003

I told my husband that I might be pregnant. He did not believe that the child was from him, and beat me.

Mom did not know that my husband beat me - he did not beat me in the face, but so that the bruises remained only on the body. I didn't tell anyone anything - I endured, waited for things to get better, to change. Little fool, I had to run right away. I called the police, they took him away for two hours, then he came even more angry and beat me much harder.

“You will feel guilty for the rest of your life”

I went to a gynecologist for a free women's consultation. She told the doctor: "I'm late for so many days, I did a test, two strips." She replied: "Get in the chair." The gynecologist confirmed the pregnancy and started filling out some paperwork without even asking anything. When she began to record me for an ultrasound, I said: "Stop-stop-stop, I'm going to terminate the pregnancy." She was surprised: “Do you mean interrupt?” - "Well, in direct, this is my right." The doctor began to dissuade: "You are still young, why do you need this. " I didn't even listen to her, I just left the office. nine0003

Mom was at home, I told her everything. She began to calm me down, saying that you need to go to such doctors with a cool head. Mom enrolled me in a paid clinic, where I quickly passed the tests. While I was running with them, my husband beat me again, bleeding started. And I still needed an ultrasound to check for an ectopic pregnancy. And so I went to do it with bleeding, I was in the fifth week of pregnancy.

On the ultrasound, the doctor began to put pressure on pity: “The child’s heart is already beating, the child feels that they don’t love him and want to kill him.” nine0003

Then she added: "You will have a feeling of guilt for the rest of your life, the child will dream, follow you around, you won't be able to live with it." I answered: “I came to you and paid money, why are you starting to interfere in your own business?” I didn’t even try to tell her about my life situation, because the doctor really didn’t care about me. She was constantly chirping, she was nervous, she talked to me like I don’t know who. Then she not only softened, she simply stopped dissuading me. nine0003

After visiting the doctor, I cried, considered myself somehow different, did not understand how I could even think about an abortion. Then my mother and grandmother supported me a lot. Nobody said I was a murderer or a leper. Grandmother told how she terminated the pregnancy herself, even before anesthesia was given. She recalled a girl who came for an abortion, they began to cut her alive, she cried, screamed, and she was told: “It doesn’t hurt to spread your legs in front of the peasants, but here it hurts!” She, poor thing, endured.

As a result, this gynecologist wrote a referral for medical abortion. First, I took a pill in the office, then the doctor ordered me to come the next day, take another one and stay in the hospital for some time. The next day I took the drug, went to the ward, where the nurses - friendly girls - offered tea and coffee. I had bed rest on my card: two hours after taking the pill. The gynecologist came and said: “No, I didn’t say that, everything is fine with her, let her get ready and go home.” The nurses replied: "No, bleeding can open." - "For people like her, nothing will open." Nobody argued with her. I heard it while behind the screen. nine0003

I packed up and went home by public transport, standing up. My stomach began to twist, and when I got home, bleeding began. I also had to come to this gynecologist for a control ultrasound, but she refused me: "You don't need any ultrasound, everything is fine anyway."

After the abortion, my husband beat me again: he shouted why I did it. I gathered my strength and filed for divorce.

“Why are you doing a second abortion?”

A few years later, we celebrated our daughter’s 4th birthday, and her ex-husband came to congratulate her: all so kind and handsome. We had sex with him, and I had my period. And again the same song - a delay. I didn't know that this happens. I called him, he said: "I don't know where you've been." Well, I decided that I would not prove anything. nine0003

The pregnancy test showed one line, but my cycle is like a clock, so if there is a delay, then something is wrong. I went to the antenatal clinic and again got to the same doctor. She examined me and said: “Nothing, it’s a failure. Take the test again in a week and come back." I did a test, and there were already two strips. I came again, the gynecologist didn’t even examine me: “Well, that means I’m pregnant.” And again she began to fill out the paperwork, almost a referral to the hospital. I didn't spray myself, I just got up and left. nine0003

I went to the paid clinic where I was last time, only to a different branch. I did tests and ultrasound. I was signed up for a vacuum abortion, because the medical abortion was no longer suitable for the deadline. Before the operation, the gynecologist filled out paperwork and said so displeasedly: “Why are you already doing the second abortion?” I answered: "Well, people do ten, what do I do now. " "It's bad for health." Although abortion cannot be compared with childbirth in this sense. I was already wiser and was able to rebuff her - I asked her not to interfere in her own business. Vacuum abortion was quick, without complications. nine0003

“You won’t be able to give birth, you won’t be able to get pregnant, your uterus will fall off”

When I had abortions, there was no such agitation for fertility. And now from every iron. Everyone attacks you, and if you ask for help, they say: "Give birth, you will get out, money will fall from the sky." They talk about all sorts of lawn bunnies.

Instead of supporting and helping, saying comforting words, doctors always answer: "You won't be able to give birth, you won't be able to get pregnant, your uterus will fall off." nine0231

Four years later, I had another child with my current husband. It was planned, we prepared for half a year, passed tests, we really wanted and waited for it. But I do not plan more children - never and not for any money. I hope it won’t come to pregnancy, but if anything, I would have an abortion again. And my husband understands everything, he helps a lot: he sees what a child is and that he consists not only of smiles, but also yells, cries, his stomach hurts and his teeth are cut. And after 35 years, I'm generally going to ligate the fallopian tubes. nine0003

If a girl is not sure [that she wants to give birth], knows that she won't pull it off, she must understand that there will be no lawn bunnies, there will only be harsh everyday life, where she will have to carry the child on her. Let her not break her life, think with her head. This is only her life, let her dispose of it as she wants.

Alice's story

"I knew everything would be great"

I came to my hometown in the summer to work as a journalist at one of the enterprises. Due to the heavy schedule, I hardly slept or ate, I felt lonely. It was a bad period, and I tried to somehow unwind: I hung out a lot, started drinking. And it all happened at the next party. Got pregnant at 19years.

I immediately realized that I was pregnant. There was some peace, the skin became super clear, although I usually get acne every [menstrual] cycle. I constantly felt nauseous at work: I went to hot shops, took interviews, and my head was spinning. There was no fear or horror. On the contrary, I became curious how to get out of all this now.

I myself do not plan to have children, although I love them very much. [By the time I got pregnant] I knew quite a lot about abortions and was aware that medical termination of pregnancy is included in the CHI policy, that is, it can be done for free. I was not afraid of negative consequences, although I read on the forums about any tin with health after an abortion. But I reasoned: if a girl has a bad abortion, she will go to the Internet and write about it, and there is no point in writing anything for thousands of girls whose procedure went smoothly. I knew that everything would be great for me, I felt it. nine0003

“I had to repeat all the time: “No, I will have an abortion”

When I came to the antenatal clinic, the gynecologist and her assistant immediately asked about my age. I expected some kind of condemnation, but the doctor, on the contrary, was delighted: “Oh, wonderful, you are already an adult, it’s time!”. She probably thought that I would be registered, and I said that I would have an abortion. Then the doctor’s assistant began to tell me about the advantages of being a young mother: “Imagine, I gave birth at 19, and now my daughter and I go to clubs together!” I answered: “I will give birth to a child, which, in fact, is for life, so that later I can go to clubs with him ?!” nine0003

At the reception, I behaved rather rudely - more to protect myself. But it didn't work, no one took me seriously. It was very humiliating that they were talking to me like a child, despite the fact that I immediately said that I was going to have an abortion. What other conversations can there be? After all, I didn’t ask anyone’s opinion. The doctor began to tell unnecessary details about unfortunate clients who, just as young, had an abortion, and now regret it because they cannot give birth to children. There were arguments that I was already working (yeah, for some pennies!), that my family would help. The gynecologists tried to convince me that I would give birth to a child and be happy. nine0003

Doctors think it's cool to doom someone to life with a young mother who didn't want him. They just need to save the child so that it exists, and what's next is indifferent to them.

As if not planning a pregnancy wasn't enough for my decision and I needed a reason to have an abortion. And in my opinion, you need a lot of reasons to have a baby. I had to repeat all the time: "No, I will have an abortion."

After a "nice" conversation, they started doing an ultrasound. The gynecologist said that nothing was really visible and offered to wait a week, but even the cheapest pregnancy test showed two strips. I suspect that they wanted to delay the moment, hoping that I would change my mind. However, I insisted on tests, and they issued me a referral. I passed the tests the very next day, and a few days later I got a second appointment with the same doctor. She confirmed the pregnancy, did a second ultrasound and referred me to a psychologist (Russian antenatal clinics provide for mandatory pre-abortion counseling with a psychologist. — Note ed. ).

“A real girl should give birth”

I was really preparing for the appointment with a psychologist, I was directly rehearsing at the mirror how I would talk to her, I was on edge. Even sedative, in my opinion, drank. I arrived, went into the office and saw a young girl there. I sat down and silently looked at her. She calmly took out some piece of paper and began to ask standard questions on the questionnaire. "Do you know about the consequences?" - "I know". "Does the child's father know?" - "No". - "Why?" - "We do not talk". “Okay, I understand.” nine0003

The psychologist put plus signs in the questionnaire, smiled and wished a safe abortion. She handed over the certificate, and we peacefully said goodbye. I was euphoric, I literally found "a ray of light in a dark kingdom".

After the appointment, I again went to the antenatal clinic, showed a certificate, and the gynecologists stopped trying to convince me. If at first they tried to build trusting communication, talk about how I live, then when they realized that everything was pointless, they finally started to do their job and fell behind me. I was given a referral for a medical abortion, which I had two weeks later. nine0003

In the perinatal center where I came to get pills, there were icons and pro-life posters everywhere: “Save life”, “A real girl should give birth”.

This aroused wild anger in me: I just saw a raped girl who looks at all this and thinks how she will live on if she leaves an unwanted child.

I was afraid of some kind of moralizing from the doctor, but there were none, everything went quite calmly. I took one pill right at the doctor's, two more were given to me at home. I took them in the morning, the family did not suspect anything: my relatives thought that my stomach just hurt. nine0003

“In our country, the attitude towards children is consumeristic”

In the whole story, I cried the only time - the entire lunch break at work. I have increased empathy, and even when something bad happens to me, I imagine a weaker person in my place. I thought about my peer, who is less versed in the topic and who is pressured by parents and doctors, they scare her that she will no longer be able to give birth. I felt sad and hurt to tears.

I can't get past the discussion of abortion. I'm bored of arguing with people who have the mindset that abortion is a sin. But there are those who consider themselves progressive and argue in the spirit of: "We need to protect ourselves so as not to have abortions." Of course, protection is super important, but first of all, so as not to spread STDs. Abortion is not the worst thing that can happen if you don't use condoms.

When you choose to terminate a pregnancy, you make the choice only for yourself. When you choose to give birth, you make a choice for another person, whether he should exist and in what conditions to live. No one can guarantee the happiness of their child. To create a new person, assuming that something bad can happen to him, in my opinion, is cruel. In our country, the attitude towards children is consumerist. If you want to give someone life, take the child from the orphanage. He is real and needs you. nine0003

Tatyana's story

"What if the child looks like a rapist?"

I was born in the small town of Zavolzhye, at the age of 16 I went to Nizhny Novgorod to study at the university. When I turned 18, I went to a club and was raped in the toilet. After the rape, everything hurt, I cried for a long time. I usually call my mom every morning when I go to school, but then I didn’t. My mother called me herself, asked what happened, and I answered that my stomach hurts - probably poisoned. For another six months, I sat at the very end of the minibus, because I was afraid of people, and if there was even a little boy, even a teenager, I would step aside. I hardly went to the shops, I was afraid of men. I didn't tell anyone about the rape. Tried to live like nothing happened. nine0003

A month and a half later, I developed toxicosis — I felt sick all day long. I took a pregnancy test - there were two strips. I bought three more pieces, they all showed a positive result. I told my friend that I might be pregnant. A friend says: "Leave it, it's so great!" At first, I really wanted to leave the child, because I heard from everywhere that abortion is a sin, you have to give birth and raise a child, since you already have one. When I told my mother about the pregnancy and about the fact that I would probably leave him, my mother, a wonderful wise woman, replied: “You yourself are a child. You have no apartment, no money, what will you do after giving birth? nine0003

I imagined: what would happen if a child looked like a rapist? I will look at him and remember everything - you can just go crazy.

“The doctor started telling me how unlucky I am — I’m wandering around somewhere and with whom”

Mom took me to a family planning center, where they did an ultrasound and confirmed my pregnancy. And then the circus began. I was asked to leave the office to talk to my mother. Then they asked my mother to come out and asked me at what age I lost my virginity. I said that I had my first sex about a year ago, to which the doctor began to tell me how unlucky I am - I'm wandering around somewhere and with whom. It seems to me that she had an attitude in her head: "If she got pregnant, but there is no father, then she worked up." Then my mother was called back, and the doctor told her: “Such a young girl has nothing to do with an abortion, because if she has enough brains to fuck, then she has enough brains to educate.” This is a verbatim quote. Mom said that we were having an abortion, and the gynecologist replied: “She won’t have any more children, you will regret it all your life later. The child is already there and there is no getting away from him.” Mom stood her ground and asked me to sign me up for a paid abortion so that I wouldn't be in pain. nine0003

The fact is that such a wonderful thing is practiced in the Trans-Volga region: girls have an abortion without anesthesia at all, they are cut to death, and we were offered the same option. To which my mother replied: “No, what are you, these are children, this is not allowed.” The doctor said: “Let him at least think before spreading his legs in front of everyone. But she will be hurt, she will remember everything and will not do it again.” Mother asked for the address of a paid doctor who would give me anesthesia. The doctor did not give a number and said: "If you want to encourage her in such behavior so that your daughter becomes a prostitute, then take her to paid doctors yourself." nine0003

I was very hurt, I could hardly hold back my tears, but I did not dare to tell the gynecologist about the rape, because I did not want my mother to know about it. She was afraid that she would be hurt. We said goodbye to this gynecologist, and I told my mother that I myself would find a paid doctor who would see me in Nizhny Novgorod.

“After the abortion, I cried for another month, reproached myself”

Mom gave me some money - everything she had at that time. I found a private clinic, where they examined me and said that the term was already long, and if two more weeks were extended, an abortion would not be performed according to the law of the Russian Federation. The doctor in the private clinic no longer tried to dissuade me, he only asked if they understood what I was getting into, why I didn’t want a child, if he had a father. He said that there might be health problems and then I would need rehabilitation. I told this doctor about the rape. He reassured me, saying that I still had neither the opportunity, nor the place, nor the money to raise a child. I was offered an abortion on the very same day. I think if the doctor suggested in a day or two, I would wind myself up, and I would be scared. The doctor said: “Don’t worry, you will stay with us for the night, we will look after you, feed you, everything will be fine. But you need to do this now, while you do not evaluate all the risks, otherwise you will give birth later and you may regret it very much. And I agreed. nine0003

I had a surgical abortion under general anesthesia, I woke up already in the ward. I didn't stay overnight and called a taxi. She came home, lay down on the bed, curled up and started to cry. And I didn't fully understand why I was crying. I got a call from a friend who knew about rape and abortion and offered to come to him. He wrapped me up, fed me, and I went to bed.

After the abortion, I cried for another month, reproached myself for having done something terrible. And only after many years I realized that there was nothing wrong with my act. nine0003

What happened to me is not my fault. In realizing this, the program for girls who survived violence helped me a lot.

I was a volunteer psychologist on the phone of the Russian LGBT Network. From the network, I received a letter that there is such an organization from New York, Girl-Talk-Girl, and the director of the organization, Kristen, will come to St. Petersburg to recruit a group of girls who have experienced violence, where they will tell their story and be able to let her go. I was afraid to go there, but after I was told that they would not judge me, but would help me cope with what had happened, I agreed. nine0003

There, for the first time after the doctor and my friend, I told the story of rape and abortion to other people. Later, at Girl-Talk-Girl, they gave me the number of a psychologist to contact. When I told everything, I directly felt how a stone had fallen from my soul, and I was finally released. And in 2014, six years after the abortion, I told my mother about the rape. She supported and reassured me, but we never talked about this topic again.

Now I am married to that friend who was always there, we are doing well. There are no children, because after everything that happened, the doctors say that I may not be able to get pregnant. Now I am undergoing treatment. My beloved husband supports me in everything. nine0003

Previously, if a woman came for an abortion, doctors checked her health and could terminate the pregnancy artificially on the same day. Now, when she comes to the antenatal clinic for the purpose of having an abortion, doctors are obliged (according to the order "On approval of the Procedure for the provision of medical care in the field of obstetrics and gynecology", article 106. - Note ed. ) during an ultrasound scan to show her the embryo on the screen and his heartbeat. The woman is also given time to think - at least seven days. If deadlines are pressed, the time is reduced to 48 hours. nine0003

In addition, a woman must be sent (according to the same order, article 104. - Note ed. ) to the Center for Medical and Social Support for Pregnant Women in Difficult Life Situations to talk with a psychologist. How well it works, I can't say. It seems to me that such centers exist purely nominally. At least I don't know a single person who was helped there. Unfortunately, they dissuade us by manipulating a woman, and do not try to identify the real reason for such a decision and help her. nine0003

Women would be much less likely to take such a step if they knew that after the birth of a child they would receive real help: they would be protected from an aggressor-husband, children would be taken to kindergarten earlier than in two or three years, and women would be able to leave earlier to work or, for example, will receive additional benefits.

Often women have an abortion because of some internal experiences and problems, in such cases, medical institutions should find out whether she really made such a decision herself or, perhaps, her husband puts pressure on her and forces her to have an abortion. Either she found out about the betrayal and thus wants to take revenge - such actions are usually impulsive, and in this case, you need to help the woman realize this. nine0003

Unfortunately, now, if a woman can be dissuaded from terminating her pregnancy and she keeps the child, after giving birth no one helps her, and she is left alone with her problems.

Very interesting wording in the law: "A woman has the right to artificial termination of pregnancy with the woman's informed voluntary consent." Moreover, it is not entirely clear what is included in this information. Therefore, in addition to telling doctors how abortion will affect a woman’s health, she may be told that she is making a mistake that she will regret. nine0003

If a woman who wants to terminate a pregnancy is put under pressure and tries to manipulate her, as well as unreasonably not agreeing to have an abortion, she needs to write a statement with a request to receive a written refusal from the doctor to carry out the procedures. As a rule, excuses stop after the woman tells the doctor about her intention to write such a statement, since it will be evidence of a violation of her rights (Federal Law "On the Fundamentals of Protecting the Health of Citizens in the Russian Federation", Article 56. - Note ed. ). For this, a gynecologist can be punished financially and administratively.

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