Children can benefit vastly from receiving homework help from their parents after school, but many adults struggle to communicate basic mathematic principles, even when they understand how to perform them. For parents who want to help their children with their homework, the following guide will be able to help you teach your child division.
Explaining the Concept of Division
Before your child can begin to practice division problems, they first need to understand the concept of division. Explain it to them by relating the idea of division to the idea of sharing. Help them conceptualize it by explaining how a number of items can be shared equally between groups, and give them examples. You might show them how six cookies can be given to three children so each of them has two, or how someone with eight apples could give four each to two friends.
By creating practical examples with visual references, you can ensure your children will have an easier time grasping the concept of division.
Games to Help Your Child Understand Division
Children are very visual and kinesthetic learners; they will process new information more quickly if they're able to see it in front of them and interact with it. Because of this, it can be easier to teach children division by creating math games to pay with them. Consider the following games to help your child understand division:
Beads and a Muffin Tin
This can be a very expansive exercise for kids to understand division. Give your child a fixed number of beads, and tell them to divide them equally between a certain number of tins. Start with showing the child how to divide the beads into two tins, using different numbers of beads each time, then gradually move to dividing by different numbers. When the child has beads left over from the exercise, you'll have the opportunity to explain remainders to them.
Printable Division Games
Consider printing out or drawing a division "match-up" puzzle where you give your child math problems and have them match up pieces of paper that have the solution on them. This is a good step up from using manipulates, as it requires children to work out the answer on their own but still provides some help, should they need it.
Teaching Your Child Long Division
Understanding long division can be another challenging hurdle for children, as long division requires a more technical understanding of math than simple division. Help them memorize the step-by-step process of performing long division, then provide them with long division problems to work out. The order of operations for long division is as follows:
Drop to the next digit
When teaching children long division, start with simple problems that divide evenly, then gradually introduce more complex problems. Use the following steps to help your child gain a mastery of division:
Step 1: Basic division as inverse of your times tables. Since your child has a basic understanding of multiplication and most of their times tables memorized, this is a good way to introduce division. The number 24, for example, can be made by multiplying 3 and 8. Show your child that 24 can be broken into 3 groups of 8 by reversing their multiplication facts. They can also see that 24 can be broken into 8 groups of 3 and many more groupings.
Step 2: Introduction to long division with no remainders. Once your child masters the basics of division they can start practicing long division. It will be best for them to practice with some larger numbers that they cannot easily calculate in their head. For example, if your child is trying to calculate 651 divided by 3 they will need to write out each step of long division in order to get the right answer. Problems like these will help them practice the "multiply and subtract" steps.
Step 3: Division with a remainder After your child has a firm grasp on the steps of long division, it is time to introduce remainders. There are many tricks to see which numbers can be easily divisible by 2, 3, 5, and 10. Knowing these tricks will help you come up with division problems for your child that has remainders. Explain to them that sometimes when you divide there will be something left over. Like when 3 friends want to share 7 slices of pizza, there will be one slice remaining. When your child sees that sometimes there will be remainders with division problems but can confidently find the solution, you have helped them master division.
Division can be a difficult concept for children to grasp when they first approach it in their math classes. Help your child with division outside the classroom using these tips to help ensure they approach school armed with all the knowledge they need to succeed.
We’ve worked with primary maths experts to create a parent and new teacher guide to short division (including the bus stop method) and the dreaded long division.
In this article, we’ve explained everything you need to know to help your child with these tricky topics!
It doesn’t matter whether it is short division or long division, for many children and their parents, just the mere mention of the ‘D’ word can send shivers down the spine of many young mathematicians, but it doesn’t need to be the case!
Here at Third Space Learning, we are on a mission to make maths accessible for all, and this includes short division and long division, too…
In the past, division was taught without much concrete modelling (using physical items to help represent the maths problem), so it’s no wonder that many of us find it difficult to this very day.
Nowadays, with children spending a lot of time at school understanding how division works, rather than just memorising the method, the fear around KS2 division is melting away, but recapping and retrieval will make a big difference, especially if parents can support from home.
But before you find out everything you need to know about division for kids, we’ve prepared a brief division recap for you!
This blog is part of our series of blogs designed for teachers, schools and parents supporting home learning.
Long Division Worksheets for Years 3-6
This FREE resource contains 3 ready to use worksheets for your class that will help them with all aspects of long division, from 1-digit numbers through to working out multiples!
How to teach division:
Division methods in a nutshell
We know how devilishly difficult division can be, so let’s start off with some definitions and a recap of what you may have forgotten since school.
What is division in maths?
Division is the operation that is the opposite of multiplication and it involves splitting into equal parts or groups.
In primary school, 3 methods of division are taught, each of which vary in difficulty. They are:
Short division (also known as the bus stop method)
Read more: What Is Division?
What is chunking?
Chunking is a method that is used to divide larger numbers that cannot be divided mentally.
When using the chunking method, children will repeatedly subtract the divisor from the dividend until there is an answer. For example, 12 ÷ 3 would be solved by doing 12 – 3 to get 9, 9 – 3 to get 6, 6 – 3 to get 3, and then 3 – 3 to get to 0.
When all of the times 3 has been subtracted from 12 are counted up (4), it becomes clear that the answer is 4.
What is short division?
Short division is a quick and effective method to work out division with larger numbers.
After your child becomes comfortable with chunking, they will move onto short division as it can be used to solve a division problem with a very large dividend by following a series of easy steps.
In this example, we have 9 tens to divide by four. 9 tens ÷ 4 = 2 tens, and we have one ten left over.
This remainder is then passed onto the next number (six) to make it 16 ones. 16 ones ÷ 4 is 4, so when put together the answer becomes 24.
What is the bus stop method?
The bus stop method of division is just another name for short division. It gets its name from the idea that the dividend (the number you want to divide up) is sitting inside the bus stop while the divisor waits outside.
Teachers are divided about whether this is actually a useful image when learning division so most of the time we’re just going to refer to it as short division.
What is long division?
Long division is a method that is used when dividing a large number (usually three digits or more) by a two digit (or larger) number. It is set out in a similar way to the bus stop method that is used for short division.
Take a look at our example below to see long division explained in a visual example.
It is best explained through an example – see below.
We have a very detailed article written for teachers on this subject you might enjoy if you want to go into more depth about teaching the long division method at KS2.
Terminology you need to know when teaching division
In our blogs we try to avoid too much jargon, but the following three terms really are essential to know for anyone looking at division.
The dividend is the number you are dividing (the number inside the ‘bus stop’).
The divisor is the number you are dividing by.
The quotient is the amount each divisor receives ie the answer in most cases.
A good way to remember it is dividend÷ divisor = quotient.
Parts of a division problem labelled for kids and parents
By learning the correct vocabulary of all the parts of a division problem, your child will find lots of elements of division much simpler.
What does my child need to know about short division and long division in KS1 and KS2?
With short division and long division for kids changing from year to year throughout primary school, there is a lot to cover in the blog, but to help you out we’ve broken it down on a year by year basis.
How to teach
division Year 1
In Year 1, division is usually called sharing and it’s done using concrete items like counters, blocks, or even items of food such as pasta.
This helps children to understand division as sharing between groups.
A simple example of this can be found below.
Some simple Year 1 division word problems
Grab some maths manipulatives or blocks to help your young learners try to figure out these division problems.
Make sure that you remember to use words like share and divide throughout so that your child becomes familiar with the concepts, where the divisor is the number of groups the dividend is to be shared between.
Start with 4 blocks. Share them into 2 equal groups.
Start with 10 blocks. Share them into 2 equal groups.
Start with 6 blocks. Share them into 3 equal groups.
How to teach division Year 2
In Year 2, children start to look at the way division works more deeply, and this means that there are a few more things for your child to learn.
A key concept to understand and really get to grips with at this age is commutativity.
If you are struggling to remember exactly what commutativity means, the definition is simple.
In maths, the commutative property states that order does not matter.
Multiplication is commutative; you can switch around the numbers and it makes no difference.
2 x 3 = 6
3 x 2 = 6
Division is not commutative. If you switch the order of the numbers, it changes the answer.
4 ÷ 2 = 2
2 ÷ 4 = 0.5
Division and commutativity in Year 2
At this age, it’s good to practise learning the 2, 5, and 10 times tables with their corresponding division facts. For example:
2 x 5 = 10
Corresponding division facts:
10 ÷ 5 = 2
10 ÷ 2 = 5
Knowing these facts makes division much easier later on, as division is the inverse of multiplication and they are a great example of why commutativity is important.
If your child is comfortable with the difference between 10 ÷ 5 and 10 ÷ 2 even after seeing that 5 x 2 is the same as 2 x 5, they will be best placed to move comfortably up to KS2 short division, and KS2 long division.
How to teach division Year 3
In Year 3, your child will be focusing on writing down division calculations and solving basic division problems that involve missing numbers.
Knowing multiplication and division facts comes in really handy here, so as was the case in Year 2, it is very important that you practise these with your child.
This missing number problem will help you see why times table knowledge makes division much easier:
5 x 4 = 20
__ ÷ 5 = 4
20 ÷ __ = 5
There are also two written division methods that are introduced at this age, and they are broken down below.
Written methods of division for kids
The chunking method of division explained
Although this method is a bit slower than bus stop division, it’s great for developing the mental skills children need for more complex division later down the line.
How to do the chunking method of division
Chunking is when you work out how many times a number fits into another number.
You work it out by repeatedly subtracting the divisor (or multiples of the divisor) until you get to zero to see how many times the divisor can go into the number you are dividing (the dividend).
Chunking is a good way to introduce your child to some of the more basic concepts of division, and once they have come to terms with this they can then move onto the short method of division.
The short division method or bus stop method of division explained
Often referred to as the bus stop method due to the fact that when drawn out onto a piece of paper, the calculation shares some visual similarities to a bus stop, this KS2 short division method is one of the most popular methods taught in schools.
This method is quicker than chunking, but it’s important that children understand what they’re doing (instead of just following a method).
This will make long division much easier in the future, but it is advisable to make sure your child has nailed chunking before moving on to short division.
How to do short division
Short division at this age will involve single digit divisors and 3 or 4 digit dividends.
A slide from a Third Space Learning 1-to-1 lesson taking pupils through short division step by step.
Sit down with your child and take a look at the diagram below to get to know the names and places for each part of the division problem.
They can look very unfamiliar when you’re used to writing your sums out in a line, so work with your child to ensure they know their divisor from their dividend!
How to help your child divide a three or four digit number by a single digit number
With these types of division questions forming the majority of Year 3 division questions, here’s a graphic detailing how to divide a three or four digit number by a single digit number.
How to teach division Year 4
In Year 4, your child will use short division (the bus stop division method discussed above) to divide numbers up to four digits by two-digit numbers.
The method is exactly the same as with single digits, except the first step will always involve grouping.
By this stage the process of dividing becomes much more of a struggle if you child hasn’t learned their multiplication tables by heart so one of the best things you can do for them is support the learning of these.
They’ll also need to choose what kind of remainder to use depending on the question, and some common questions will involve real-life situations, like sharing groups between cars or items between boxes.
Division questions with remainders
Division with remainders can be a tricky concept to grasp when children are first introduced to both short and long division, but it is important children understand them well as they can drastically change depending on the question that is being asked.
Practise using factor pairs in Year 4 to help with written division
Factor pairs are two factors (numbers), which when multiplied together give a particular product (result).
Practising factor pairs with your child can help to speed up the process when it comes to division, as knowing that 4 x 5 = 20 will help them when it comes to working out 20 ÷ 4 = _ .
Get your child to find as many factors pairs as they can for the number below, and why not make this into a game?
Sit down with your child, grab a pen and a piece of paper each, and see who can figure out the most factor pairs for the following numbers in a minute. The results might be closer than you think!
Read more: What is the highest common factor
How to teach division Year 5
By Year 5, your child should be able to quickly halve or quarter amounts mentally.
If they’re finding it tough, bringing maths into the real world can be a great way to help them get to grips with halves and quarters. For example, when you’re out and about ask them how much an item would be if it were half off, or how many grams would be in half of a 1kg bag of sugar.
Knowing how to divide by 2 (halving) and 4 (quartering) quickly will become an important part of division as your child progresses through school, so it is highly beneficial if they can learn these now.
Short division with decimals
Short division will be used for numbers involving decimals for the first time in Year 5.
This means that it is a good time to revise place value so that your child understands how decimals work.
Decimals are parts of a whole (similar to fractions), but the important thing to remember when it comes to dividing decimals is that place value columns decrease in value each time you move to the right.
An example of dividing with decimalsHow to teach division Year 6
In Year 6, your child will be introduced to the dreaded long division for the first time!
However, the good news is that once you’ve mastered chunking and short division, long division isn’t bad at all!
The key when it comes to long division for kids is to go slow and encourage them to present their work neatly so that they can spot mistakes easily and work to rectify them.
Even when knowing this though, long division can still be a daunting prospect for children (and parents alike!), so take a look at our example below to get to grips with how to tackle a long division problem.
Are you a teacher looking for support teaching long division? Read our insights and tips on teaching long division, written by expert maths practitioners.
Long division for kids explained
The example below is the most popular long division method for kids, and it is also the one that you may be familiar with from your time in primary school.
All you’ll need to complete the calculation 528 ÷ 24 is a pen, some paper and a child who is willing to get to grips with this method!
After having a go at a few long division questions (with your help to begin with), your child will soon see that this method can help them figure out how to work out long division problems regardless of the numbers involved, and prove invaluable when it comes to the SATs.
How to do long division: An easy step by step long division method to use throughout KS2
Don’t worry if it takes a while to truly embed the process. It’s a long chain of things to remember, so it’ll take regular practise to get this method memorised. Check out our long division questions and long division examples for more support.
Just remember the process: divide, multiply, subtract, bring down; and repeat.
Hard work will pay off in the long run, so it is worth putting the time in with your child now to make sure long division is explained well early on to lessen the number of times you will hear the inevitable:
“Mummmmm…….How do you do long division…?”
How do we know when to divide and which method to use?
Different division questions call for different methods of division to solve them, but here is a quick and easy guide to show which method your child should use and when:
Chunking is best for smaller numbers and arithmetic.
Short division is great for dividing larger numbers by one digit numbers.
Long division is handy for dividing large numbers by numbers with 2 or more digits.
Of course there may be occasions when each of the above methods can be used in slightly different scenarios, but as a general rule this should be enough to help your child make the right decision.
Year 6 SATs division questions
When it comes time to sit the maths SATs papers it is more than likely that your child will have to answer some division based questions.
Problem solving and reasoning (Paper 2 and 3) in Year 6 can be tricky when it comes to division problems. Often, the problems require more than one operation to be solved which can add an element of complication into an already stressful environment, so encourage your child to look out for words like share or group to help them identify what needs to be done to solve the problem.
Division problems in Paper 1 (arithmetic) will be presented as number sentences, and your child will need to show their working out if the question is worth more than 1 mark.
It’s easy to spot these questions because they will use the division symbols, either:
or they may involve fractions.
As a rule of thumb, encourage your child to divide mentally where possible.
While written methods are great for bigger numbers, being able to divide mentally will give them an edge. It means that when they are done using the written method, they will be able to see whether or not their answer is roughly correct by estimating.
As well as the free, printable division worksheets and division questions, you can also download a set of free SATs questions on division and multiplication to extend your practice.
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8 simple steps to teach children to respect and hear their parents?
Naughty children: why did they not please their parents? In order for such children to behave "normally", adults have to make efforts: to restrain, control, repeat, refuse, punish and warn. And that's the point: we don't want to strain ourselves by raising children. It would be more convenient for the child to be controlled like a toy with a remote control.
You tell your child: “You need to wash your face” or “Wash your hands!”, but he does not listen to you. You remind that it's time to break away from the computer and sit down for lessons, he frowns with displeasure: "Leave me alone!" - Of course, it's a mess.
Smart parents have funny, smart and obedient children. Moreover, smart and loving parents take care of this: they make sure that their children are not only smart, but also obedient. This seems obvious: if you want to teach a child to do good things, you first need to teach him to obey you elementarily.
Unfortunately, ordinary children have long been accustomed to not listening to their parents: you never know what they say! And the point here is not in the children, but in us, in the parents, when we say things that are important for us to the children somehow not seriously, not paying attention to whether the children are listening to us or not, when we put forward our demands unconvincingly.
Your requests should be calm but clear instructions, sound weighty and be accompanied by control. The child must know that your words are not empty words, and if you warn that toys that are not removed are thrown away, they really disappear. If a parent approaches a child with a confident request, knowing that he has leverage, the child will respond to such a request.
But it's not just about the right wording and levers of influence, there is another important trick in building relationships with a child, namely, whether your child has a HABIT to obey you. "To obey or not to obey parents" is determined not only by what and how the parents say, it is also determined simply by the child's habits.
There are children who have the habit of mindlessly obeying everyone, and there are children who have the same habit of mindlessly disobeying anyone. Obeying "everyone" or "no one" are equally bad habits, but the habit of obeying selectively, namely, OBEYING YOUR PARENTS, is a great habit! Your children should have the habit of paying attention to what you say, the habit of doing what you ask them to. Teach your child to listen and obey you, and you will have your parental authority, you will have the opportunity to raise a developed and thinking person from your child.
Is it difficult to get your children into this habit? Much depends on age: it is difficult to teach a teenager to obey his parents, it is almost impossible for many mothers, and developing such a habit in a small child is a solvable task. In principle, the sooner you begin to develop in your child the habit of listening and obeying you, the easier it will be for you.
The easiest method to help you with this is the "Eight Steps" method. Its idea is to teach your child to obey you, starting with the simplest, most elementary things, and very gradually, methodically move step by step to more difficult things. From simple to complex.
First, we do what any parent can do with any child, then we add a little, then a little more - and so we go a long way from a natural child to a well-bred child who already understands that people who are loving and more experienced than him should obey right.
The age at which the Eight Steps algorithm works best is from 2 to 12 years. After 12 years, a well-bred child should already become your friend and helper, you are no longer so much raising him, but helping him in his self-education, helping him to solve life's tasks in the best way.
Now let's get down to business. What are these steps?
Step 1: Addition.
As the King from Antoine Saint-Exupéry's fairy tale "The Little Prince" said, controlling the sunrise is easy, you just need to know when the sunrise occurs. Say at the right moment: "Sun, rise!", and you will become the lord of the rising sun... So is the child: if the child does not obey you yet, he still does something. Go from what is, adapt to what he does, and direct his activity in the direction you need.
The child runs, you shout to him: "Well done, faster, faster!" - he happily adds speed.
Sit down at the table, you know what the child loves, what he will still reach for. Get ahead of him: "Take your favorite bread!" You said he took it.
Little Nikita likes to clap his hands. "How does Nikita clap her hands? - Clever girl, Nikita! And now, Nikita, show me how the car hums! ... Wonderful!" - you teach him to do what you tell him. He is one and a half years old, and he is already learning to listen to you and obey.
If you can't manage, take the lead. You cannot (yet) control the behavior of the child - adapt to what he does anyway, and what he wants to do himself.
Step 2: Taming: Train to come when called.
Do you know what "attach" means? The fisherman throws food into the river - he attracts fish. When an ancient man decided to tame wild dogs, he also started with affection, then he began to feed them, then stroke them, and gradually taught them to run up to him when he called them. Have you already tamed your children? Do they come running to you when you call them? If your children are still wild, start like an ancient man by taming them.
Your child likes to crunch apples or nibble cookies: your task is to make sure that access to these sweets is not free, but only through you. This is not in the vase, but you can give it to your child. Now you don’t wait until he starts begging from you, but choosing a good time, you yourself announce: “Who wants a tasty apple, quickly runs to me!”, “Cookies, cookies, delicious cookies for obedient kids.” Children run, you treat them and pat them on the head: "Well done, how quickly you run to your mother!" So the hunt has taken place - you are already accustoming children to come to you when you call them.
Invite your child to you - and praise him when he comes to you! A bait can be not only food, but everything that the child likes: and squeeze the cream on the cake, and cut the bread, and the time when you can play with the child in the games that he loves. "Mom has five minutes! Whoever comes running quickly can play hide and seek with her!" Important: if a child comes running, you reinforce it: give a bait and praise. If the child is in no hurry to run, comes later and demands, you don’t give a bait: “That’s it! It’s all over!”, but you prompt: “When mom calls, you need to run quickly!”. Teach your child to fulfill your requests, reinforcing it with joy.
Step 3. Learning to negotiate.
Your child will be intelligent and not capricious if you teach him to use his mind. And for this, take the time to explain to the child what is good and what is bad - and teach him to negotiate. You can try to talk intelligently with a child even at two years old, and if your child is already three years old, this is already a must. Teach your child to negotiate and fulfill agreements!
You and your child are on the playground, it's time for you to leave, but the child doesn't want to leave, he wants to play more. Just command?
The child may begin to protest with a roar. What to do?
The first agreement - before coming to the playground. "You want to go to the playground, but we can't play there for a long time, I will need to return home, cook dinner. You promise me that when I say that it's time for us, you won't cry, but will say goodbye to all the children and go with me home? Won't you keep me?" The second conversation is when it's time for you to leave. Most likely, the child will begin to whine: "Mom, I have a little more!". Here your task is to calmly cut him off from the players and discuss how to behave correctly in such a situation. “If you promised that you would not whine and cry when you need to go home, you can’t whine and cry. Otherwise, how will they believe you next time?”
Here it is important that respect for agreements is supported by all close adults, there is only one position: "Agreed - it is necessary to fulfill it. And whoever does not fulfill the agreements is a violator, a whim and a small one, nothing serious can be allowed to him." We agree and do not be capricious.
Step 4: No whims.
An obedient child not only DOes what you ask him to do, he also STOPS doing what you do not like. The child tries to fight the will of his parents through his whims and tantrums, and your task at this step is to stop reacting to them in any way. Learn to do your own thing without reacting to the whims of the child - in those cases when you yourself are sure that you are right and you know that everyone will support you.
You are all hurrying to the train, packing your things. In this case, the whims of the child "Come play with me!" will be easily ignored by everyone, including grandmothers. Teach your child that there are important things to do. Teach your child to say, "This is important." If you sat down in front of him and, looking into his eyes, holding his shoulders, calmly and firmly say: "Adults now need to get together, and we will play with you later. This is important!" - then soon the child will begin to understand you. It is important!
Step 5: Requirements.
Your child already quickly comes running to you when you call him with something tasty, he stopped being capricious and no longer throws tantrums. As a rule, he will do what you asked him to do, but he is not yet used to the fact that you can seriously demand something from him. Requests are soft, while demands are hard and mandatory. Is that the way to listen? At this step, again act consistently, but carefully, at first demand a minimum and only when everyone supports you.
The child is already old enough to... In order not to take a toy from someone else's child, to pick up a fallen mitten yourself, to put porridge in your mouth yourself... - Always look for those moments when your demands will be supported by everyone around you, so that even the grandmothers at least kept silent.
If you have too many demands on your child, if he does not keep up with your numerous demands, or if you do not have the support of others, do not push. Like politics, education is the art of the possible. Napoleon himself taught his commanders: "Give only those orders that will be carried out."
Nevertheless, gradually remove the bait as something obligatory, start calling the child already without rewarding him with something tasty. It's time to teach the child that if mom (especially dad) is his name, you need to come simply because he was called. If he doesn’t go right away, they repeated it, but achieved it. And now they drew his attention to the fact that you had to wait for him, and asked him to come when his mother calls. No need to swear, just say: "When mom calls, you need to come right away!" - and kiss! Slowly, your child will begin to learn it.
Step 6: Responsibilities.
Requirements are one-time, while duties are a system of permanent requirements for a child. The time has come to teach the child that each member of the family has his own responsibilities, and he must participate in family affairs on an equal basis with mom and dad. Having explained this to the child, begin to confidently give him tasks, but also act gradually here: let him first choose his duties according to his strength, let him do what is not difficult for him, or, all the more, even want a little.
This step is more difficult for mothers than for children. Moms really want to do everything themselves and not strain the child. So, dear mothers and, in principle, parents, make sure that the child always has things to do at your request. The child should not fade away the understanding that he has tasks, and he must do it. Clean up the bed, take away the cup, wash the dishes, run to the store - most likely, it’s easier and cheaper for you to do it all yourself, but you are educators, so your task is to restrain yourself, not to do it yourself and entrust it to the child every time .
At first, the child has to be reminded of his duties, after a while the duty to remember should fall on the child himself. Remembering your responsibilities is also the responsibility of the child!
Step 7: Self-reliance.
When a child already knows what duties are, it's time to teach him to be independent. The ability to obey is the basis of smart independence. The independence of an obedient child lies in the fact that you can already give him difficult tasks in the confidence that he will complete them completely on his own, without your help and prompts. It’s not just “Go to the store” or “It’s your responsibility to take out the bucket”, but “Pack up all the things you will need on the trip”, “Grandma needs help digging up a garden in the country”, “Toothache? Call the clinic, Find out when the doctor is, go and get your teeth fixed." As usual, not everything will turn out right away, at first the child will need your tips, help and support, but the more often he begins to successfully cope with difficult assignments, the faster he will wake up a taste for independence. So, move from simple to complex, from dense, frequent and specific clues to rare and general clues, and thus gradually move on to more and more difficult and independent tasks, mostly on the most positive background, with small irregular reinforcements and rare large ones.
Ideally, if you go somewhere for a relatively long time, your child should be able to live without you without major problems. He is already on his own!
Step 8: Responsibility.
Well, the last step remains: responsibility. Women do not really like the word "responsibility", they are closer to "caring", but there is a difference between these words: a caring person pays only with efforts and soul, and a person responsible for his mistakes pays really. If you entrust a child with a responsible task, for this, in the event of a puncture, either the child or you will have to pay. But children grow up, it's time to acquaint them with responsibility, and now you entrust the child with not just deeds, but responsible deeds: those for which you need to answer to other people or, simply, pay for mistakes.
You instructed a child to place an expensive service on the table. Or put money in the bank. Or - to bring a little sister from the kindergarten ... Will she not break it? Will not lose? Will not forget?
When taking on a responsible task, the child already knows the price of a mistake, and treats the assignment responsibly: he will think everything over, remember, follow up and check, and he will definitely report back to you at the end.
When a child learns this too, you can be proud - you are already an adult. You have raised an adult, responsible person! Remember, it all started with quiet, neat outbuildings to a completely naughty child?
Of course, and after that no one will promise you that your children will become angels and will never disobey you. Everything is possible, our children do not always obey us. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. How to react to it? Calmly. If you act wisely, you will solve this issue without difficulty.
By the way, is there anything after the eighth step, after the formation of responsibility in the child? Your child is not only ready to fulfill your requests, he knows his duties, he is a completely independent and responsible person. And it's all? Is there anything else we want to give our child? Tell me, when and how will we set the task so that our children grow up as loving people?
Should children listen unquestioningly to their parents? There can be no unequivocal answer to this question precisely because parents are different. There are parents - alcoholics, there are - smart and loving. If we talk about smart and loving parents, then our answer will be positive: yes, children should obey such parents implicitly. Why? What for? Because smart and loving parents love their children and will never demand from their children what will be harmful to children. Such parents love to just talk to their children, spend time with them - and listen to what the children share with them. You don’t often hear demands on your children from them, and they demand only what is really necessary.
5 years old: when going out on the road, you need to take your mother by the hand and not play around here. 10 years: first lessons, then computer games. 15 years: at 22.00 - sleep!
Usually they don't even demand it, but gently ask, rather suggest and remind, and this is enough.
"How to teach your child to communicate and make friends with peers"
Consultation for parents
It is known that the full development of the child in all its manifestations very much depends on the relationship of the baby with his friends. And, of course, mom and dad can teach a child to get to know each other and make friends, help the child understand this wonderful and complex feeling, understand with whom it is interesting and fun to communicate and play with. The earlier you start teaching your child about friendship, the easier and faster he will be able to communicate with other children and make friends in the future. In order for a child to feel confident while interacting with other children, to behave calmly and with dignity, one should tirelessly instill in him the well-known principle of behavior: "Do to others the way you want to be treated to you." Explain to him that communication should be reduced to dialogue. How often do we adults replace it with a monologue. While talking, we seem to be listening to each other, but do we hear? So, let's first of all teach our child to hear the other, to be attentive to the mood, desires, feelings of the interlocutor. Help your child learn the following rules that he needs to communicate with peers: - Play fair. Do not tease others, do not pester with your requests, do not beg for anything. Do not take away someone else's, but do not give away your own without a polite request. - If they ask you for something - give it, if they try to take it away - defend yourself. - Do not raise your hand against someone who is obviously weaker than you. - If you are called to play - go, if you are not called - ask, there is nothing to be ashamed of. - Don't snitch, know how to keep the secrets entrusted to you. - Say more often: let's play together, let's be friends. - Respect the wishes and feelings of those with whom you play or communicate. You're not the best, but you're not the worst either. Of course, there are no ready-made instructions on how to make friends. However, you can still help your child. What do psychologists recommend (by the way, many of their tips are suitable not only for children with communication difficulties, but also for adults with similar problems)?
“Share your smile and it will come back to you more than once” - often remind your child of the words of this famous song. Explain to the child that you need to get acquainted with a smile and friendliness, if you approach with a gloomy and angry look, they are unlikely to want to communicate with him. In fact, it is worth your child to change alertness to benevolence, shyness to interest, and peers will become much more responsive in response.
Teach your child to look into the eyes of the interlocutor - according to psychologists, people with a "running" look do not inspire confidence in others.
Encourage your child to be interested in other children. Experts say that it is precisely inattention to others, obsession with one's own feelings that often lead a child to isolation. Sometimes children are so focused on their person that they cannot even describe the appearance of a permanent playmate! To wean a child from forgetfulness, invite him to draw his friends from time to time (albeit schematically) - this will make him more observant of others.
Sharing your property is another step towards others. It is not necessary to give away every last toy, but also to keep them "under lock and key" is not comradely. An exception can be made only for the most beloved, cherished things. At the same time, do not force your son or daughter to share (and even more so, do not grab a toy from your child’s hands, saying: “How can you be so greedy!”), But always generously praise for compliance and kindness - then in adulthood he will not have problems with communication, because from childhood he will learn to seek a compromise.
Refrain from making unflattering comments about your child's friends, at least in his presence. After all, if he chose a friend himself, then he is attached to him. Scolding a friend of a son or daughter, you automatically make it clear to the offspring that he does not know how to understand people. If you don't like some of your child's friends, try not to judge them, treat everyone equally well, respect your child's choice. Perhaps he will later part with some guys or stop communicating - it's okay, this will be his experience and will teach the child to distinguish real friends from imaginary ones in the future.
Allow your child to invite friends to his home - a cozy home environment contributes to the development of friendships. If the child does not dare to call his friends, do it yourself, coming up with some reason (no matter what, even the first day of summer!).
Remember that children intuitively refuse to accept "not" cues. Phrases like: "You did it wrong!" hardly reach the child's consciousness. Therefore, pick up other arguments: "You yelled at Masha, after which she was offended."
Teach your son or daughter to put up. Explain that in case of misconduct, the person must definitely apologize or ask for forgiveness. Of course, you need to have a certain courage to recognize your shortcomings, but only a strong person sees and realizes his own imperfections.
Do not leave the child alone with his experiences. For example, if he is bullied by his peers, it makes no sense to encourage him not to be upset: he will be upset anyway. Suffice it to say that you understand his feelings. You can give a couple of examples from your own biography. Let's say you remember that you were teased as a child with "Lemon" or "Dumpling", but you tried not to pay attention. Explain to the child that the offenders, inventing different nicknames, are counting on the fact that the person will get angry and lose his temper. If, despite the barbs and malice, he remains calm, the "dirty ones" will quickly lose interest in him.
If you have a shy child or almost no interest in communicating with other children, be sure to periodically set aside some time and communicate with him on the topic of dating and friendship: tell him about your friends in childhood, how you met and what you did together, show him cartoons about friendship, read fairy tales about it and discuss them together - this will help the child understand and understand what friendship is much better than instructions and moralizing. Tell not only the good moments of your friendship experience, but also the difficult and sad ones, so that the baby knows how it happens in life.
Teach your child to make pleasant surprises and gifts for friends, both for the holidays and just like that: you can make a beautiful card with him for a girlfriend and buy a small car for a friend, bake delicious cookies or a small simple pie together. Start some different interesting group games for children at home so that children can play together at your place. Sometimes play with them - you will see how your child communicates with other children, and if you notice mistakes, calmly discuss it with him after the guests leave and tell him what was best to do. Read to the child and explain the rules of friendship:
Help a friend: if you know how to do something, teach him;
If a friend is in trouble, help him in any way you can.
Share with other children if you have interesting toys, books.
Stop a friend if they do something bad.
Do not quarrel with your friends, try to play friendly with them;
Don't be arrogant if you're good at something;
Do not envy your friends - you should rejoice in their successes;
If you acted badly, do not hesitate to admit it and correct yourself.