How to adopt a child in bangladesh
Moroccan, Pakistan and Bangladesh Adoption - Bal Jagat
Morocco, Pakistan, and Bangladesh
For families that are practicing Islam, there are countries that are open to them: Pakistan, Morocco, and Bangladesh (and there may be others).
Please note the religious requirement is not imposed by Bal Jagat - Children's World Inc., but by the countries themselves, as they will only place children with Muslim families. There may be other additional requirements regarding: country of birth, travel/length of stay, and the specific denomination (Shiite/Shia vrs Sunni). Bal Jagat- Children's World Inc. is not the Primary Provider. Bal Jagat- Children’s World Inc. has partnerships with other Hague Accredited agencies in the USA for these three Muslim countries.
Morocco
Morocco is the crossroad of Africa, Europe, and the Middle-East. This country is located in North Africa, bordering the Atlantic Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea, Southern border with Western Sahara, and Eastern border with Algeria. Morocco’s well known cities include Rabat (the capital), Casablanca, Marrakech, Fes, Meknes, and Tangier. You must be open to adoption of a male child as there are mostly boys waiting to be adopted. There are young and older children available.
The wait time will likely be at the shorter end of this range if you are open to a special needs child or an older child. There are many beautiful children available. The orphans from Morocco are well cared for in public or private orphanages and are placed for adoption primarily due to difficult economic circumstances. Children are available for adoption after a three month waiting period which is reserved for domestic adoptions only.
Morocco is not party to the Hague Convention however the Universal Accreditation Act is in effect. The children arrive on a guardianship basis and adoption must be completed in the USA.
Information on the countr
y of Morocco is on the U.S. Department of State web site:US State Department: Morocco
According to the website: Morocco also has the following requirements for adoptive parents:
- MARRIAGE REQUIREMENTS: Prospective adoptive parents must either be a single female or a married couple. Morocco does not recognize same sex marriages or domestic partnerships.
- INCOME REQUIREMENTS: The Government of Morocco requires that people seeking legal guardianship of Moroccan children be employed.
- OTHER REQUIREMENTS: Prospective adoptive parents of Moroccan children must be Muslim. Prospective adoptive parents must have a letter from a doctor practicing in Morocco indicating that they are in good mental and physical heath and capable of caring for an adopted child.
Pakistan
Pakistan is not party to the Hague Convention however the Universal Accreditation Act is in effect. The children arrive on a guardianship basis and adoption must be completed in the USA. There may be a possibility for Pakistani Christians to adopt as well.
Information on the country of Pakistan is on the U.S. Department of State web site:
US State Department: Pakistan
Bangladesh
In order to adopt from Bangladesh, you must be born in that country and you will need to show proof. Bangladesh is not party to the Hague Convention however the Universal Accreditation Act is in effect. The children arrive on a guardianship basis and adoption must be completed in the USA.
Information on the country of Bangladesh is on the U.S. Department of State web site:
US State Department: Bangladesh
In addition to these three countries listed, there may be more.
Please contact us to learn more and see if you qualify to adopt from one of these Islamic countries!
"Adoption is a gift of life." Hemlata Momaya, MSW, Executive Director
"2016 Congressional "Angels in Adoption" Award Recipient
"Being the proud and very grateful parents of two beautiful daughters, Lauren (age 10) and Jennifer (age 6), from China whom we lovingly welcomed into our lives and family in 1998 and 2001, we cannot begin to express our heartfelt thanks and respect to both Hemlata and Mausami for the professionalism, support and encouragement they expressed towards our family throughout the adoption process. " Douglas & Linda Y. (Adoptive parents of two daughters from China)
"Bal Jagat Children's Agency is an agency with a heart. Their mission is to find a happy home to orphan children from other poor countries. I went to visit their office one time, and I was amazed to see thousands of children's photos all over the walls that already found happy homes. Hemlata and Mausami know all the kids' stories by heart when they showed me the photos. I would say Bal Jagat is the place to go if you plan to adopt a child because they are very dedicated and efficient at what they do." Lila D. (Community Member)
"Dear Prospective Parents, I started my adoption process over 3 years ago with a non profit agency. I was completely mishandled and the children were not handled with care either. They were more concerned about getting placement money instead of finding children forever families. It took me over a year to find an agency that I could trust......I did! Bal Jagat has been a life-saver for me for the following reasons: they are extremely thorough (no stone will be unturned), they are more knowledgeable than all of the other agencies that I worked with or interviewed (they know everything about USCIS and Hague protection laws and regulations), they have tremendous success rates (go into the office and see the happy faces of children and families on their walls), they helped me get through a difficult situation and were sensitive with me when I needed an ear to listen and/or a shoulder to cry on, they answered all my calls and emails from foreign countries at all times of the day (there were many), they wish the best for me (that is sooooo important), and demand the best for the children they place (that is a blessing for our children). As a professional and an educator, I take the same pride in what I do. I appreciate their knowledge and that they refuse to allow any clients to cut corners. We all need to remember that we will be entrusted with raising a child. I appreciate the integrity they have and I am so incredibly blessed to have them in my corner. I am going to receive my child and I cannot wait to send you the praise report and add more glowing statements to this one. God bless you all. Good luck and blessings to you. This process is a difficult one, but stay strong because your baby needs you!!! I endorse Bal Jagat fully!!!! I love Mausami and Hemlata...they are a mother/daughter tag team dynamo! :) Thanks for listening. You owe it to yourself to check them out. Thanks." - Tangye W. (Adoptive parent).
"This is the adoption agency I was adopted through. It was like winning the lottery with my parents and how I have grown up. I donated to support them and hopefully anyone reading this can too. Hemlata Momaya changed my life for the best and made me possible. " - Sara (Adopted child from India). ❤️❤️❤️
Adoption and Legal Guardianship in Bangladesh
Contents
- 1 Introduction:
- 1.1 Adoption and legal guardianship in Bangladesh:
- 1.1.0.1 Concerned Laws:
- 1.1.0.2 Adoption of Muslim child:
- 1.1.1 Legal custody and Guardianship under Guardians and Wards Act, irrespective of personal laws:
- 1.1.1.0.1 Application to court for guardianship:
- 1.2 Concluding remarks:
- 1.1 Adoption and legal guardianship in Bangladesh:
In Bangladesh, there is no specific law governing adoption, although individuals can apply for guardianship of either the person or the property of a child under the Guardians and Wards Act 1890. In this article, we are going to have a short but detailed discussion as regards to adoption and legal guardianship in Bangladesh.
Adoption and legal guardianship in Bangladesh:
There is no legal or practical difference between the terms ‘Adoption’ and ‘Legal Guardianship’. However, the terms ‘Adoption’ and ‘Legal Guardianship’ were used because of applicable various personal laws in Bangladesh.
Concerned Laws:
Family Court Ordinance, 1985; Guardians and Wards Act, 1890; Code of Civil Procedure, 1908; Muslim Family Laws Ordinance, 1961, Children Act, 2013, Hindu personal Laws and Customs.
Adoption of Muslim child:
In Bangladesh, according to Muslim law, Muslim parents do not have the right to adopt children because the laws do not recognize adoption. However, the only option they have in hands is to apply to the competent family courts for legal guardianship. Unfortunately, the children under guardianship do not enjoy all the rights, i.e. inheritance of property from the legal guardians etc.
Adoption of Hindu child and child belonging to other religion:
On the other hand, as per Hindu family law, only the person belonging to Hindu religion have the option to adopt boys. Therefore, the status of the adopted boys will be considered same as a natural son and consequently will enjoy all the rights following personal law or secular law, i.e. inheritance etc. as if he was born to this family. Furthermore, adoption is also permitted as well as encouraged under the Christian and Buddhist personal laws.
Legal custody and Guardianship under
Guardians and Wards Act, irrespective of personal laws:Application to court for guardianship:
In Bangladesh, the adoption or guardianship seeker are required to apply to the family court which is having jurisdiction over the child’s place of residence for legal guardianship of children following the Code of Civil Procedure through filing of prayer. After reviewing the application, the court will give its decision considering the welfare of the children using its discretion, following the provisions of Personal laws and Guardians and Wards Act against which appeal is allowed. For example- if the court is satisfied that the parents are eligible to take responsibilities of that child then the decision will be in favor of them and if the decision was against them then the appeal against the decision can be filed at District Judge Court.
Limitation of guardians applying for guardianship:
The Act requires one of the parents who are seeking for adoption or guardianship to be Bangladeshi citizen or dual citizenship holder, i.e. American who is also a Bangladeshi citizen and that is why foreigners do not have the option to apply for adoption or legal guardianship here, in this country.
Children’s rights as regards to property:
Guardians and Wards Act, 1890 plays an important role regarding the guardianships of minors. However, a child or person under guardianship does not have the same rights, i.e. inheriting property etc. as the biological children following the Guardians and Wards Act, 1890. However, if the guardian before their death gifts a property to the person under guardianship, then that person can have that property.
Procedures of obtaining legal guardianship of a child in Bangladesh:
The following procedures have to be maintained for obtaining adoption or legal guardianship in Bangladesh-
- Process 01: If the prospective adoptive parents are residing abroad then they have to take permission from the concerned authority of the domicile country.
- Process 02: The prospective adoptive parents have to look for individual, organizations or institutions, i.e. orphanage, NGOs, shelters etc. and contact with them which can provide necessary documents as regards to the expected adoptee child for the guardianship process, so that later on no legal issues arise regarding the guardianship or adoption.
- Process 03: Application to the family court for legal guardianship and submission of necessary documents.
For example: Child’s birth certificate, irrevocable release of the adoptee minor which is duly signed by the biological parents before a Notary Public, Magistrate or the relevant Family Court in Bangladesh, proof that one of the parents are Bangladeshi citizen, proof that the foreign documents which have been submitted have utmost authenticity.
- Process 04: After the decision of the court the guardians of the child have to obtain the post-guardianship birth certificate of the child which will bear the proof that the prospective legal guardians are now the valid legal guardians of the child.
- Process 05: Subsequently, if the parents want to take the child out of Bangladesh then it is mandatory for them to obtain a no objection certificate (NOC) from the Ministry of Home Affairs and after applying for it, the concerned ministry will carry out a detailed investigation regarding the said matter and if satisfied then will provide the NOC.
- Process 06: Thereafter the guardians now have to submit all the required documents, i.e. form, NOC etc. either online or in hard copy to obtain the child’s passport and to get the him or her out of the country.
- Process 07: After that all the required medical assessments, i.e. tests, vaccinations etc. have to be performed as per requirement in order to obtain visa.
- Process 08: Finally, all the formalities as regards to adoption have to be completed as per law of the country of residence of the adoptive parents according to adoption law of that country to make the adoption of the concerned child in that country legally valid.
Concluding remarks:
Adoption and legal guardianship is a matter of great importance in Bangladesh and also in abroad. For years, Counsels Law Partners (CLP) has been working regarding the issues relating to adoption and legal guardianship and are expert in this field. If you need any assistance or consultation, visit us at our office or feel free to contact us on +8801700920980 or email us – [email protected].
Why do the Swiss almost never adopt children from abroad?
The parents abandoned this baby and handed him over to the authorities for adoption. This photograph is just one of many similar photographs in the Guardianship, Adoption and Guardianship Fund of the Stadtarchiv der Stadt Bern. Peter Klaunzer/KeystoneOnce upon a time, the Swiss massively adopted children from abroad. However, that time has passed, now the citizens of the Confederation almost never adopt children, and there are reasons for that. nine0003 This content was published on February 21, 2018 - 11:00
Sibilla Bondolfi (Sibilla Bondolfi)
The plane was full of children, Edena, Tom and Rea* remember this very well, Mira* was still too small to understand anything of what was going on around her. All four flew to Switzerland to live with their adoptive parents from South Korea. Their biological parents abandoned them and agreed to give them up for adoption. Around the middle of 1970s Approximately 1,200 children from South Korea were adopted in Switzerland.
Many of them continue to maintain regular contacts even now under the auspices of the “ Dongari SocietyExternal Link ” (from the Korean word “Dongari”, which can be translated as “Commonwealth”), created specifically for this purpose. Elena, Tom, Rhea and Mira are part of this "Society". They graciously agreed to speak to swissinfo.ch and tell us their stories. Today, with the passage of time, they are already able to look at themselves and what they had to endure, even with laughter, for example, talking about their impressions of trips to South Korea ( see below the material "Four Fates" ).
“It’s quite difficult for me to communicate with Koreans,” Mira admits. “I am a Swiss by mentality and I am used to expressing my opinion openly. Koreans basically beat around the bush... And then this male chauvinism...” Those present begin to laugh, because they perfectly understand what exactly Mira is talking about. Rhea confirms, “I am a woman. And that’s why Korean men simply don’t take me seriously there.” The creation of the "Dongari" society was preceded by a tragedy, namely, a whole series of suicides that occurred one after another in a short period of time, the victims of which were former adopted children from Korea. Something clearly "went wrong". nine0003
But when the fourth person, once adopted from Korea, passed away voluntarily, it became clear to everyone that something had to be done. And soon, in 1984, a Swiss priest with Korean roots founded the Dongari Society. South Korea actively supports his work, including with money. “It’s clear that Koreans have a guilty conscience about these adoptions that took place on a massive scale in the 1970s,” says Mira, explaining that at the time, South Korea preferred not to solve the problems of orphans, but simply “shed” them abroad to wealthy Western families. nine0003
The Swiss can afford it
South Korea is not the only country whose children came to Switzerland for adoption. Swiss couples brought adopted children from India, Sri Lanka, Colombia, Romania, Russia, Ukraine and even Ethiopia. According to Swiss journalist Eric Breitinger, author of book on international adoptionExternal link and himself an adopted child, the number of foreign children adopted in Switzerland has remained relatively high in recent years. nine0003
“It costs a lot of money to adopt a child from another country,” E. Breitinger explains. But if anyone could afford to go abroad to arrange an adoption on their own, it was the wealthy Swiss. In his experience, foreign children do not suffer as much when they learn about their adoption than Swiss children. After all, for example, it is easier for them to understand the motives (primarily poverty) that pushed their biological parents to abandon their own child. In addition, it should be borne in mind that adopted children, for example, from Korea, simply looked different and it became simply impossible to hide the fact of adoption from them from a certain moment. nine0017
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But the earlier a person is informed about his fate, the easier it is for her to come to terms with it purely psychologically. With adopted children from abroad, this happened more regularly and earlier than with Swiss ones. Today, however, parents, in principle, cannot hide anything by law, they are obliged to inform their adopted child, no matter what he looks like and where he came from in Switzerland, that the people whom he now calls "dad" and " mother" are not his biological parents. Exotic appearance had, however, its drawbacks. nine0003
“Many Swiss looked at me and switched to broken literary German, convinced that I did not understand the Swiss dialect, and this was insulting to me,” says Elena. And when the so-called "Thai wave" arose - many Swiss brought their wives from Thailand - she was even sexually harassed several times. Over time, however, the situation improved. “And I never felt discriminated against,” says Tom. “Asians have a good reputation in Switzerland because many of them have such typically Swiss qualities as punctuality, commitment and cleanliness.” His friend, a native of Africa, had a much harder time. nine0003
Implications of the Hague Convention
Since the entry into force in Switzerland in 2003 of “ of the Hague Convention for the Protection of Children and Cooperation with Respect to Foreign AdoptionExternal Link ” it has become much more difficult to take children for adoption from abroad. Indeed, this document, in particular, contains a requirement to give children for adoption to another country only if there are no adoptive parents for them in their homeland. It is believed that this measure should counteract child trafficking. nine0003
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But so far, the only undeniable consequence of the application of the Convention has been a marked decrease in the number of foreign adoptions in Switzerland in recent years, from 1,583 in 1980 to 363 in 2016, and this despite the fact that many childless Swiss couples would gladly adopt a child. E. Breitinger considers the Hague Convention to be a positive agreement in principle, but he doubts that undeveloped countries with deficits in public administration are able to truly put into practice its main provisions. In his opinion, “the main question is: what happens to children? To what extent are the authorities really capable of solving their problems, or are they limited to putting them in shelters and then forgetting about them?” nine0003
The same opinion is shared by the Swiss Foster Children's Organization (" Organization Pflege- und Adoptivkinder Schweiz" - "PachExternal Link "). Karin Meierhofer, Managing Director of this organization, views the Hague Convention in a positive light. “As far as we know, it is thanks to the Convention that the volume of child trafficking has decreased markedly.” At the same time, of course, and in her opinion, too, it is impossible to get accurate information about how adopted children live in their homeland. “It is possible that they later end up in not very good orphanages,” she says. nine0003
Flexible options
The decrease in the number of adoptions in Switzerland is not only due to the Hague Convention. There are also very few children born in Switzerland and given up for adoption. In the German-speaking part of Switzerland, this figure is only about 15 people a year. However, the reasons for this are unambiguously positive: there are almost no mothers, even singles, who are in a really distressed economic situation and are forced to abandon their children in Switzerland. nine0003
But if someone takes such a step, then first of all migrant women with problems in the field of social integration. This opinion is held in Pach. And in the cantonal Office for Custody and Adoption of the Canton of Ticino, they are even sure that in the vast majority of cases, the motives for which native Swiss abandon their own children have nothing to do with problems in the socio-economic sphere. Another reason may be related to the introduction of additional intermediate options in Switzerland. nine0003 External content
“Now the trend is to find more flexible ways and approaches in this area. For example, instead of the actual “adoption”, the legal format “long-term care and guardianship” (“Pflegekindverhältnis”) is now increasingly being used. Now, much more than before, attention is paid to finding the option that is best for a given child. And this is a colossal progress,” K. Mayrhofer believes. And what do the four members of the Donghari Society think about adoption? Is it an "outdated model"? nine0003
Elena considers it important that children, no matter what the legal format, be transferred to foster families at the earliest possible age, as babies, and not at the age of six, as was the case in her case. But according to Mira, it is better to be an adopted child on the principle of "long-term care and care" than an adopted one, because "in this case, the parents' "proprietary claims" on their children are expressed to a much lesser extent." Tom is also convinced that adoption only in rare cases leads to something good. “In too many cases, it is associated with serious problems.” nine0003
*Names have been changed and are known to the editors
History of adoptions in Switzerland
In the 19th century, adoption procedures in Switzerland did not exist in the modern sense. The situation changed dramatically in 1912 with the entry into force of the new Civil Code (Zivilgesetzbuch) in the country. In accordance with the new legislation, the authorities had the right to deprive people of parental rights and remove from families children who, in the opinion of the authorities, were in a state of poverty or neglect. nine0003
The adoption procedure provided for by the new Code was a very convenient solution for the authorities, since it allowed them, by removing children from "poor" families, not to take them into state care (and the state in Switzerland has always been and still is relatively poor) , and transfer them to foster families, thereby shifting all the costs to them.
This system reached its peak in Switzerland between the 1950s and 1970s, when thousands of, usually illegitimate, children were given up for adoption, often without the consent of the mothers. The topic of "forced adoptions" in Switzerland belongs to the category of little-studied, but the very fact of the presence of such a practice in solving pressing social issues is now disputed by no one. nine0003
In the 1960s, modern contraceptives, including related pharmaceutical products, first appeared on the market in Switzerland. Society has ceased, as before, to look at single mothers with unambiguous condemnation. The country was gradually getting richer, becoming a prosperous nation on the threshold of a post-industrial society. Hence the sharp decline in the number of children given up for adoption.
Therefore, couples who wanted to adopt a child began to turn to Asian countries, and starting from 1989 years - and to the countries of Eastern Europe. The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption, which entered into force in May 1995, put an end to the practice of mass irregular adoptions.
Currently, two-thirds of adoptions in Switzerland fall into the category of so-called “stepson adoptions”, when, for example, mothers remarry after a divorce, and the new partner agrees to adopt her own children from a previous marriage. Since January 2018, the possibility of such adoptions in Switzerland has been provided same-sex couples , as well as heterosexual couples living in an unregistered ("civil") marriage.
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You can contact the author @SibillaBondolfi directly in German or English on social networks FacebookExternal link or TwitterExternal link .
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Interracial Adoption: "They think I kidnapped my own child.
"- Mega Mohan
- BBC
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Image credit: @fosterdadflipper/Instagram
Image captionAnthony and Peter near their home in North Carolina
Interracial adoptions usually only go in one direction: White families adopt non-white babies. A black adopter of a white child in the US is likely to face suspicion and questioning. Peter from Charlotte, North Carolina shared his life experience with BBC correspondent Mega Mohan. nine0132
"I suspect it's a kidnapping"
Seven-year-old Johnny woke up that day in a bad mood and was acting up more than usual. While dining at a restaurant, Peter watched his adopted child quarrel with another boy in the play area. It was necessary to leave so that the matter did not end in a fight and a roar.
Peter quickly paid and picked Johnny up in his arms. He twirled and pulled out.
At the car, Peter put the boy on the ground to open the door. A frowning woman approached them. nine0003
"Where is the mother of this child?" she asked.
"I am his father," Peter replied.
The lady stood in front of the car, blocking the road, copied the number with a glance and took out her mobile phone.
"Hello, police? I think a black man is kidnapping a white child here."
Johnny froze and looked up at his adoptive father. Peter hugged him.
"Nothing, nothing," he said.
A difficult childhood
Image copyright @fosterdadflipper/Instagram
Image caption,The cabin in Kabala, Uganda, where Peter spent his childhood
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Travel site Lonely Planet describes the dusty town of Kabale in Uganda as "a place where you don't stay long." This is a transit point where tourists arrive to go to the famous national parks of neighboring Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. nine0003
But some people live there permanently.
Peter Mutabazi was born and raised in Kabala, and it still hurts him to remember his childhood.
Eight children of a large family slept on a hard floor in a two-room house.
They usually ate soup and potatoes. If there were also beans, it was a joy. Sometimes there was no food," recalls Peter.
From drinking and fighting at home, Peter ran to his aunts who lived nearby.
"On the one hand, it was good to have a lot of relatives who raised me with the whole world," he says. “On the other hand, it was pretty chaotic. ”
At the age of 10, Peter left home, choosing the life of a street child. He grabbed a trifle lying at home unattended and headed to the bus station.
The boy could not read. "What's the farthest bus here?" he asked the waiting woman. She pointed to one of the cars. Peter climbed into it and drove to the capital of Uganda, Kampala.
The journey of 400 kilometers took the whole day. In Kampala, Peter went to the market and began to ask the merchants if there was any work for him - for food. nine0003
For the next two years, Peter lived on the streets, making friends with street children like himself and sharing what he managed to get hold of.
Then, according to him, he acquired an invaluable skill: to recognize good people at first sight.
One of them was named Jacques Masiko. He came to the market every week for groceries, and sometimes he treated Peter to a hot lunch.
About a year later, Jacques Masiko asked the boy if he would like to study, and he got him a job, and after another six months, after looking at Peter's diligence, he offered to live with him. nine0003
In the Masiko family, Peter was treated like family. Trying to please his adoptive father, he studied excellently and at the end of school he won a grant to study at an American university.
Peter is now in his forties. He has been living in the USA for a long time and achieved prosperity there.
While working for a charitable organization, Peter took many American philanthropists to Uganda who wanted to donate money to a particular community, and before that they had a look at it. Once such donors turned out to be a family with an adopted daughter, who was taken on a trip. nine0003
It occurred to Peter for the first time that there were perhaps as many children in America who needed a home as there were in Uganda.
Back in North Carolina, he went to an adoption agency and said he wanted to do something for them as a volunteer.
The author of the photo, @fosterdadflipper/Instagram
Photo caption,Jacques Masiko (right) took Peter in at the time and placed him in school
"Do you want to adopt a child?" the employee asked.
- I am not married.
- So what? There are many boys in our database who need a male upbringing.
Peter was the only single man in North Carolina who decided to become a foster father.
For the first three years, his house served as a temporary shelter for boys who, for various reasons, urgently needed care. You can’t instantly find a permanent foster family, and the children spent several months with him.
When filling out the questionnaire, Peter took it for granted that he would be offered African-American babies. To his great surprise, the first five-year-old pupil turned out to be white. nine0003
"I've realized that skin color doesn't matter to me," he says. "There are two spare bedrooms in my house, and I'm ready to host anyone who needs it. I want to give someone a chance, as I did in due time for me Mr. Masiko.
Anthony
Nine boys, white, black and Hispanic, visited Peter's house in three years.
"What I wasn't prepared for was how difficult it would be to part with each of them," he says. nine0003
Peter decided to take a few months off to prepare emotionally for his new little guest.
So when he got a call one Friday night saying that there was an 11-year-old boy in urgent need of shelter, he first said no.
Image copyright @fosterdadflipper/Instagram
Image captionPeter (left) and his adopted son, Anthony (right). Johnny (centre) spends time with Peter waiting for permanent custody
"I said that I separated from my previous child only three days ago and now I need at least a two-month break. But they insisted, they said that this was an exceptional, tragic case that they ask me to take the boy at least for the weekend, and then they will find some solution," recalls Peter. nine0003
Anthony - a tall, pale, athletic boy with a mop of curly hair on his head - was driven to Peter's house at three in the morning.
The next morning we sat down to breakfast.
"Call me Peter," the owner said.
"Can I call you papa?" - asked the guest.
Peter was amazed. Before that, they had communicated no more than twenty minutes and did not know anything about each other.
"Later I thought that his intuition must be stronger than mine. He understood everything immediately," says Peter. nine0003
Saturday and Sunday they spent together: they went to the mall, where Peter bought Anthony some clothes, cooked, chatted about trifles: who likes what food and what films he likes.
"That's how we looked at each other," Peter recalls.
On Monday, when an employee from the adoption agency arrived, he finally learned Anthony's story.
The boy was under guardianship from the age of two, and at the age of four he was adopted by one family. Seven years later, his adoptive parents brought him to the hospital and left him, and when the police found them, they said that they were no longer able to take care of him. nine0003
"I couldn't believe it," says Peter. "They didn't even say goodbye to him, they didn't explain anything, and they never came back. How is that possible?"
"I felt like I was back in my own childhood. Anthony was like me, ten years old, on the streets of Kampala. Like me, he had nowhere to go."
"You know what?" I said to the social worker. "All I need is paperwork to get him into school. We'll get along."
Image copyright @fosterdadflipper/Instagram
A year later, Peter formally adopted Anthony.
The boy asked his adoptive father a lot about Uganda. Now, he said, this is my legacy. Peter taught him how to cook katogo, a national dish of chopped cassava and beans, usually eaten for breakfast.
Anthony enjoyed introducing Peter to his classmates.
"My dad," he imagined and enjoyed the sight of their bewildered faces.
"Suspicious couple"
Sometimes it was not funny. nine0003
One day, 13-year-old Anthony was stopped by security at the airport and asked who he was traveling with.
"With father," Anthony pointed to Peter. The employee checked the documents and released them.
Anthony indignantly told his adoptive father that this was real racism.
"I am your father and I love you," Peter tried to reassure him. "People with my appearance are not always treated well. Your task is not to be angry with those who behave like this, but to treat people like me with dignity." nine0003
This spring, Peter got a call from the agency asking if he could temporarily take in a seven-year-old boy named Johnny, whose family was in dire financial straits due to the coronavirus.
Johnny settled down in the house just as well as Anthony did in his time, and looking at the elder, he also began to call Peter dad.
White-skinned and blond Johnny at the same time caused even more puzzled looks.
So Peter wasn't at all surprised when the lady at the restaurant called the police. It only took a few minutes to confirm that Peter was indeed the guardian, but the boy was deeply impressed. Peter had the same conversation with him as he had with Anthony. nine0003
After the death of George Floyd, Peter spoke to Anthony about the Black Lives Matter movement and asked him to keep his cell phone ready just in case.
"I'm black and I have 10 seconds to tell them who I am before things get heated," he says. You are my witness."
"I think he understood. He knows that we are in America, and because I look different from him, this attracts special attention to me. A white person who adopts a black child does not face such tension and suspicion.0003
Interracial adoption
Adoption patterns vary from country to country and there are no reliable global statistics on interracial adoption.
According to the international Internet resource "Children of the Rainbow", 73% of children of non-European origin adopted in the world are adopted by white adoptive parents.
Psychologist Nicholas Zill, senior research fellow at the American Institute of Family Affairs, points out that white families in the US are much more likely to adopt non-racial children. nine0003
"At the latest data we have for 2016, only 1% of African-American families adopted white children, and 92% black children. Among children adopted by whites, 5% are black and another 11% are of other races. This may be related with cultural biases that persist, including in the adoption and guardianship authorities," he told the BBC.
In the UK, Sandeep and Reena Mander sued £120,000 (about $153,000) in moral damages last year from Windsor and Maidenhead County after officials advised them to seek adoption in India or Pakistan. nine0003
"UK law is clear that race is not a determining factor in choosing a foster family for a child," said Nick Hodson, partner at McAlister Law Firm, who has specialized in family law for over 20 years.
The Children and Families Act 2014 removed the requirement for local councils to take into account the race and culture of children when selecting adoptive parents for them. This was done because non-white children ended up waiting much longer for adoption than white children."
Hodson said he could not comment on specific cases, but admitted that non-white adopters such as the Manders may still face difficulties.
"There may be some discrepancy between what the law says and what is done in real life," he added.
Peter had no problem with the adoption service as caretaker, but Anthony's adoption might not have gone so smoothly had he been younger.
Nicholas Zill confirms that finding a permanent home for children over the age of five is much more difficult. nine0003
Peter says he knows black families who had to wait a long time because there were no African Americans among the children in need of adoption.