How does child get along with parents

Parent-Child Relationship - Why it's Important

25/10/2018BlogParent-Child Relationship, Parenting Weekadmin

Parenting is the most fulfilling job that we will ever have, but it’s not without it’s challenges. Modern family life can be stressful and with various pressures on families it’s not always easy. Ultimately, parents want what is best for their child and a strong parent-child relationship can help lead to better outcomes for children.

Why is a Positive Parent-Child Relationship Important?

The Parent-Child Relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of the child. It is a unique bond that every child and parent will can enjoy and nurture. This relationship lays the foundation for the child’s personality, life choices and overall behaviour. It can also affect the strength of their social, physical, mental and emotional health.

Some of the benefits include:

Young children who grow with a secure and healthy attachment to their parents stand a better chance of developing happy and content relationships with others in their life.
A child who has a secure relationship with parent learns to regulate emotions under stress and in difficult situations.
Promotes the child’s mental, linguistic and emotional development.
Helps the child exhibit optimistic and confident social behaviours.
Healthy parent involvement and intervention in the child’s day-to-day life lay the foundation for better social and academic skills.
A secure attachment leads to a healthy social, emotional, cognitive, and motivational development. Children also gain strong problem-solving skills when they have a positive relationship with their parents.

Parenting Style – Positive Parenting

There is “one-size fits all” when it comes to parenting, we change and adapt as our children grow. However, following some simple positive parenting tips can help when it comes to your relationship with your child.

Warm, loving interactions
Treat every interaction as an opportunity to connect with your child. Be a warm in your expressions, give eye connect, smile and encourage interaction.

Have boundaries, rules & consequences
Children need structure and guidance. Talk to your children about what you expect of them and make sure they understand.

Listen and empathise with your child
Acknowledge your child’s feelings, show them you understand, and reassure that you are there to help them whenever they have problems.

Problem Solving
Help your child to problem solve. Be a good role model and show them how to behave through your own actions. When you work with your children to find solutions they learn how to deal with difficulties in a appropriate way.

Strengthening the Parent-Child Relationship

Forming a connection with your child is important to developing a strong parent-child relationship. Here are some tips to help with strengthening your relationship with your children.

Tell your child you love them
Of course you love your children but tell them every day, no matter what age they are. Even on difficult days let your child know you didn’t like the behaviour but you love them unconditionally. A simple “I love you” can do a lot to strengthen a relationship.

Play together
Play is so important to children’s development. Young children can develop many skills through the power of play. As well as it being fun and helping you develop your relationship with your child, it can help children’s language skills, emotions, creativity and social skills.

The Department of Education and Playboard NI have developed a range of resources on play for parents with the #PlayMatters campaign.

Be Available
Make time to talk to your child without any distractions, even 10 minutes a day can make a big difference in establishing good communication habits. Turn off the TV, put away technology and spend some quality time together.

Eat meals together
Eating together as a family sets the stage for conversation. Encourage no technology at the table and enjoy each other’s company.

Listen and empathise
Connection starts with listening. Try and see things from your child’s perspective and foster mutual respect.

Spend one on one time with children
If you have more than one child try and make a point of spending individual time with each of them. Quality, individual time with your child can strengthen your bond, builds their self-esteem and lets them know they are valued.

8 Ways to Strengthen a Parent-Child Relationship

July 28, 2020

What parents can do now to build a strong and healthy bond with their child.

By Paige Dorn, LCSW
Therapist/Clinical Lead
Day Treatment

The most important relationship to a child is the one they develop with their parent or caregiver. Children learn about the world around them through a positive parent-child relationship. As they are growing and changing, children look to their parents to determine whether or not they are safe, secure, and loved. It is also the foundation from which they will build their future relationships.

You can build a positive parent-child relationship by being in the moment with your child, spending quality time together, and creating an environment where they feel comfortable to explore. There is no secret handbook or guaranteed approach to get this relationship right, and you’ll likely find hardships along the way. However, if you keep working on improving your relationship, your child will surely blossom.

Continue reading for eight positive-parenting techniques that can help you strengthen the relationship between you and your child:

Show Your Love
Human touch and loving affection is needed at every stage of our lives for healthy emotional and neurobiological development. It is important that your child receive gentle, loving touch (i.e., hugs) from you several times throughout the day. Treat every interaction as an opportunity to connect with your child. Greet them with warm expressions, give eye contact, smile, and encourage honest interaction.

Say “I love you” often
It is often implied that we love our children, but be sure to tell them every day, no matter what age they are. Even when your child is being difficult or does something you don’t like; this can be an excellent opportunity to remind them that you love them unconditionally. A simple “I love you” can have a major impact on your long-term relationship with your child.

Set boundaries, rules, and consequences
Children need structure and guidance as they grow and learn about the world around them. Talk to your children about what you expect of them and make sure they understand. When rules are broken, make sure to have age-appropriate consequences in place and be consistent with them. To learn more about age-appropriate consequences, visit https://www.familyeducation.com/kids/an-age-by-age-guide-to-setting-discipline-consequences-for-kids.

Listen and empathize
Connection starts with listening. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, show them you understand, and reassure them that you are there to help with whatever they need. Try to see things from your child’s perspective. By listening and empathizing with your child, you will begin to foster mutual respect.

Play Together
Play is so important to a child’s development. It is the tool through which children develop language skills, express emotions, foster creativity, and learn about social skills. Additionally, it is a fun way for you to strengthen your relationship with your child. It does not matter what you play. The key is to just enjoy each other and commit to giving your child your undivided attention.

Be available and distraction-free
Setting aside just 10 minutes a day to talk to to your child, without distractions, can make a big difference in establishing good communication habits. Turn off the TV, put away your electronic devices, and spend some quality time together. Your child needs to know that you believe they are a priority in your life despite the many distractions and stressors that come your way.

Eat meals together
Eating together as a family can often lead to great conversation and bonding time with your child. Encourage everyone to put their phones or other devices away and simply enjoy each other’s company. Meal time is also a great opportunity for you to teach your children the importance of a healthy and balanced diet, which also effects their overall mental health.

Create parent-child rituals
If you have more than one child, try to make a point of spending individual time with each of them. Quality, one-on-one time with your child can strengthen the parent-child bond, builds up your child’s self-esteem, and lets them know that they are special and valued. Some parents schedule in special “date nights” with their children to create that one-on-one opportunity (whether it’s a walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the playground, or just a movie at home – it’s important to celebrate each child individually).

Need Additional Support?

Family Services offers several programs to parents and youth throughout Northeast Wisconsin to support and guide parents in establishing a positive parent-child relationship. To learn more about our program offerings, click here. We also offer a number of parenting classes and workshops in the Fox Valley. You can view our current Parenting Class schedule here.

Sources:

https://www.parentingni.org/blog/parent-child-relationship-why-its-important/#:~:text=A%20child%20who%20has%20a,optimistic%20and%20confident%20social%20behaviours.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/tips-to-strengthen-families-617242

https://www.thepillarsclc.com/why-a-parent-child-relationship-is-important/

June Project Protect Newsletter

Inside this newsletter: Mental Health Month impact, summer parenting workshops, Green & Gold Gala, and more…

Date Set for 34th Annual Green &…

Registration is now open to attend the Green & Gold Gala, presented by Family Services and Green Bay Packer…

Announcing the 2022 Excellence i…

Recognizing dedication, leadership, and action having a positive effect on survivors of sexual assault and chil…

View All »

Tagged parenting

How to communicate with parents | HelpNearby.

How to communicate with parents

We are a team

We all sometimes lack support from our closest people - parents. It seems that they do not understand us at all and do not hear. Because of this, we are very offended by mom and dad. We get upset, rude to them and others. Or we lock ourselves in, playing "silent". The mood is bad, I do not want to do anything. To hide from everyone, cry into a pillow, listen to your favorite music ...

You are going through a difficult period now - adolescence. There is a restructuring of the body, your emotions are unstable, they change ten times a day. You are no longer a small child who can be ordered or overprotected. But he is also not an independent adult, capable of taking full responsibility for his life.

It's not easy for your parents either - they don't always understand what's going on with you and how to get in touch with you. And they are very worried about it, believe me. They read a lot of literature like "How to improve relationships with a teenage son / daughter", consult with their friends or psychologists. nine0005

You can help them see what's going on in your heart. A warm atmosphere and mutual understanding in the family also depend on you and your efforts, and not just on your parents. After all, you are one team. And it will be successful and effective when everyone is working on it. There is no such thing that someone "freebies", and the rest plow.

Towards each other

Experts give several recommendations on how to communicate with your parents so that there is peace, tranquility and trust in each other at home. Perhaps you will take something for yourself. Your mom and dad will thank you for it. The ability to establish communication will be very useful to you later: when interacting with friends, teachers, at your future job. Yes, a lot of places. nine0005

Here are some tips:

1. Show interest in your parents

Ask them from time to time how they feel, how they feel, what they think or dream about, how they are doing at work . People are extremely pleased when they are interested.

Ask mom and dad to tell about how they were as teenagers - how they behaved, what they were afraid of, what problems they faced and how they solved them, what they expected from life, what kind of relationship they had with their parents - your grandmothers and grandfathers. Perhaps remembering your own adolescence and experiences will allow your parents to understand you better. nine0005

2. Share your thoughts and feelings with your parents

You may think they should be able to read your mind. But, alas, people are not magicians. And a device that is able to penetrate into someone else's consciousness and read all the information from there has not yet been invented. So if you make it easy for them, that would be great.

First, they will see that you trust them. Secondly, that you are open and do not hide anything so terrible from them. Because if you are silent all the time or prefer some general phrases, like “Yes, no, I don’t know,” this causes distrust and questions for you. What does mom think when she hears this: “Why is he so closed? Something happened to him!" Or like this: “Since he doesn’t say anything, it means that everything is in order with him.” And you really are not all that great. nine0005

3. Be independent in action

Often family conflicts occur because it seems to you that your rights and your freedom are severely restricted. You want more independence. And for some reason, your parents control you too much all the time or swear endlessly: “Why is the room not cleaned? I won’t let you in to the computer until you clean everything up!” The easiest way to answer this is with some kind of rudeness or defiantly slam the door of your room in front of your mother and turn the music on to the fullest. It turns out a vicious circle. nine0005

By such behavior you just show your unwillingness to bear responsibility for your actions. How can you be more independent then? If you show it in practice, you will win parental trust, and control on their part will gradually decrease.

What exactly can you do? For example, keep your promises. If there was already an agreement that you would be home by 11 pm and not a second later, try to fulfill it. Expand your range of skills as an adult who can serve himself - cook food, keep the apartment in order, go to grocery stores, etc. nine0005

4. Speak correctly and politely about what you do not like

When one person yells at another or accuses him of something, it is easy to imagine how the person who is being criticized will behave. If you are rude to your mother, it is no wonder that she can break loose and scream back. Word for word - and here it is, a grandiose scandal. Do you need it?

Make it a rule to use every time you need to say that you don't like something, such a technique as "I-message": 1) you must definitely say about your feelings. For example: "I'm upset"; 2) avoid addressing another person with "You". Don't say "You're bad" or "You don't keep your promises. " It is better to use abstract examples, without reference to a specific person: “I get upset when people do not keep their promises.” nine0005

This "I-message" technique is remarkable in that it does not contain accusations or criticism of others. And people react instantly to a negative assessment of themselves. For them, it's like a red rag to a bull.

Contact!

You grow up and gradually move away from your parents. Soon the moment will come when you will enter a university - a higher educational institution, and, perhaps, you will no longer live at home, but in a hostel. Or even move to another city. It is important to understand one thing: your parents are very worried because of this, they also have a difficult period in their lives. They have to let go of you, both physically and emotionally. Imagine that you are close friends with someone for many, many years, and then your friend begins to communicate with you less and less, he develops his own interests. Will you worry about this? So are your parents. nine0005

Your relationships are changing, they must move to a new quality. In order for them to continue to remain warm and for you to maintain mutual contact, you need to strive to be patient and respectful of each other.

Child psychologist "SM-Doctor" gave advice on how to help a child find friends

We figure out how parents can help a child experiencing communication difficulties and not injure him even more. nine0005

We deal with Victoria Bogdanova, a child psychologist, an employee of the SM-Doctor clinic for children and adolescents in Maryina Roscha.

Why can't the child find friends?

In most cases, the problem lies in his parents. Among the common reasons are hyperprotection, limited communication with peers, lack of conditions for the child's self-affirmation, or a negative attitude of parents towards his independent actions. All this can lead to the psychological unpreparedness of the child to communicate with other children. nine0005

In addition to parental upbringing, communication problems may also be related to the child's personality, for example, if he is too withdrawn or shy.

The third source of problems with socialization can be the children's community itself, which is often quite cruel. Modern children usually spend their time playing alone, often at the computer. This leads to the fact that boys and girls do not know the usual ways for us to get to know each other. In addition, their ability to empathize is not so strongly developed, it is difficult for them to support each other and talk about important topics. nine0087

Adults should start working on developing a friendly attitude towards relatives and peers in a child from about 2-3 years old. It is possible to induce emotional responsiveness in children through reading fairy tales: the child must understand that the characters experience certain feelings that need to be treated with care. Some parents, fearing for their child, impose on him a negative and wary attitude towards other people, and this forms difficulties with communication. To avoid such consequences, it is necessary to educate the child in openness to people, and not alertness and negativity. nine0005

Signs indicating that the child has problems with socialization

Naturally, each person is formed in his own way, has individual characteristics, and this is connected not only with the nervous system and temperament, but also with the conditions of development. Starting from the age of 4-5, the level of significance of contacts with peers for a child only increases. Therefore, if your child:

is aggressive towards his peers,
complains about the lack of friends or the unwillingness of peers to communicate with him,
goes to kindergarten or school reluctantly,
does not call up with anyone, does not invite to visit (or if no one calls and invites him),
is often alone,
spends all his time playing computer games/reading/TV,

you should pay attention to a possible problem and start taking certain actions to solve it.

nine0005

Consider the problem on the example of a language understandable to everyone - the language of animation. On September 14, the Disney Channel begins showing the animated series Owl House, which is dedicated to this topic. The main character of the series, Luz, is so passionate about fantasy books that her peers consider her strange and do not want to be friends with her.

If in reality the parents are faced with a similar situation shown in the animated series, is it worth encouraging the interests of the child and his ways of expressing himself when his peers shun him? How can this situation be corrected? nine0005

It is worth noting that the girl immersed herself in fantasy books was not accidental: there was something wrong with her relationship with her mother from the very beginning. Escape to the magical world allowed Luz to find what she lacked in real life: the ability to have her own opinion, to defend her will and interests. She managed to realize herself in a world inhabited by rebels and freedom-loving characters.

Luz's infatuation began to spread in a form that frightened peers and adults, her eccentric behavior at school harmed those around her. Definitely, parents should support their children's hobbies, however, they need to tell them about the existence of personal boundaries of other people and that an unusual form of self-expression can be repulsive. To close the need, you need to find, together with the child, the place where it is acceptable, and it’s definitely not worth extending your eccentricities to all people. nine0005

It is important for parents to build close trusting relationships with the child, to encourage his interests, because in this way the child's feelings and experiences are sublimated. And the situation can be corrected, for example, through art therapy or joint work of the parent, child and psychologist. The first task is to understand which needs are not satisfied.

Often, parents send their child to a kindergarten or send him to a summer camp so that he is socialized there. But what if he doesn't feel comfortable there? nine0005

In such cases, parents are most often convinced that they know how and what will be best and right for their child. In most of these situations, they do not focus on the real desires and needs of children, but project their own onto them. Please ask your child about where he wants to go or go, how he feels being away from home, what difficulties he faces. It is very important not to leave him alone with his experiences and not downplay his problems. Help your child find the answer to a difficult question, cope with a difficult situation. In the animated series Owl House, a mother wants to commit an act against her daughter's will, and this only provokes her escape into a fantasy world. It is difficult for a girl to find friendly relationships, and her mother does not listen to the needs of her child, which only aggravates the situation. In her place, it would be worth acting quite the opposite: to establish contact with her daughter and find out about her desires. nine0005

Equally important is to help the child not withdraw into himself. So, in order not to allow the child to go into compensatory fantasies, parents should first of all develop in him the skill of accepting reality with its difficulties. Helping a child cope with failures is possible only through emotional support: asking about his condition, sharing experiences, talking about his experiences from childhood. In this way, the parent will be able to help the child not be disappointed and not withdraw into himself, even when it seems that those around him do not accept him. nine0087

What parents should remember

First, talk to your child. The words “I see that you are sad / angry / worried. I would like your relationship with the guys to develop differently” are really important, since a child at any age should feel that the parent loves him, is always ready to listen and is aware of his difficulties. This approach helps build trust.

Secondly, it is important for the parent himself to stop overprotecting the child, unquestioningly fulfill his every desire and indulge his every demand. This is necessary so that he learns to independently solve emerging issues and cope with his own egoism. For example, children often demand to play by their rules, and if they lose, they are offended and upset. But life in society does not work like that - a child must be able to play together with other children: sometimes under someone else's guidance, sometimes according to different rules. nine0005

Everyone knows that children copy the behavioral model of their parents, which means that you can correct their behavior through your own example. You can convey an important experience without notations and moralizing by telling the child the story of meeting his childhood friends, about how friendship flowed, about quarrels and reconciliations.

Initiate visits and contacts with other children. If possible, change the child's living conditions and social circle as little as possible: because of frequent moves, it will be difficult for him to build close relationships with peers. nine0005

Watch together movies and cartoons that raise this topic, and be sure to discuss the actions and behavior of the characters after watching. From the side it is always easier to assess the situation, and then try to shift it to your own experience.

What will help the child to join the team?

There are basic skills and abilities that will help the child get used to the team, but work on their development, of course, should be carried out by parents.