How do you potty train your child

Toilet Training (for Parents) - Nemours KidsHealth

When Are Kids Ready to Toilet Train?

Many parents are unsure about when to start toilet training or "potty training." Not all kids are ready at the same age, so it's important to watch your child for signs of readiness, such as stopping an activity for a few seconds or clutching his or her diaper.

Instead of using age, look for signs that your child may be ready to start heading for the potty, such as being able to:

follow simple instructions
understand and use words about using the potty
make the connection between the urge to pee or poop and using the potty
keep a diaper dry for 2 hours or more
get to the potty, sit on it for enough time, and then get off the potty
pull down diapers, disposable training pants, or underpants
show an interest in using the potty or wearing underpants

Most children begin to show these signs when they're between 18 and 24 months old, though some may not be ready until later than that. And boys often start later and take longer to learn to use the potty than girls.

There are some times when you may want to put off starting toilet training, such as:

when traveling
around the birth of a sibling
changing from the crib to the bed
moving to a new house
when your child is sick (especially if diarrhea is a factor)

How Long Does Toilet Training Take?

Teaching a toddler to use the potty isn't an overnight task. It often takes between 3 and 6 months, but can take more or less time for some children. If you start too soon, the process tends to take longer. And it can take months to even years to master staying dry at night.

Potty Types

The two basic potty options are:

a standalone, toddler-size potty chair with a bowl that can be emptied into the toilet
a toddler-size seat that can be placed on top of a toilet seat that will let your child feel more secure and not fear falling in. If you choose this, get a stepping stool so your child can reach the seat comfortably and feel supported while having a bowel movement.

It's usually best for boys to first learn to use the toilet sitting down before learning to pee standing up. For boys who feel awkward — or scared — about standing on a stool to pee in the toilet, a potty chair may be a better option.

You may want to get a training potty or seat for every bathroom in your house. You may even want to keep a potty in the trunk of your car for emergencies. When traveling long distances, be sure to take a potty seat with you and stop every 1 to 2 hours. Otherwise, it can take too long to find a restroom.

About Training Pants

Disposable training pants are a helpful step between diapers and underwear. Because kids' nighttime bladder and bowel control often lags behind their daytime control, some parents like using training pants at night. Others prefer that their child use training pants when they're out and about. Once the training pants remain dry for a few days, kids can make the switch to wearing underwear.

But some people think that disposable training pants might make kids think it's OK to use them like diapers, thus slowing the toilet-teaching process.

Ask your doctor if your child would benefit from using disposable training pants as a transitional step.

Tips for Toilet Training

Even before your child is ready to try the potty, you can prepare your little one by teaching about the process:

Use words to express the act of using the toilet ("pee," "poop," and "potty").
Ask your child to let you know when a diaper is wet or soiled.
Identify behaviors ("Are you going poop?") so that your child can learn to recognize the urge to pee and poop.
Get a potty chair your child can practice sitting on. At first, your child can sit on it wearing clothes or a diaper. When ready, your child can go bare-bottomed.

If you've decided that your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty, these tips may help:

Set aside some time to devote to the potty-training process.
Don't make your child sit on the toilet against his or her will.
Show your child how you sit on the toilet and explain what you're doing (because your child learns by watching you). You also can have your child sit on the potty seat and watch while you (or a sibling) use the toilet.
Establish a routine. For example, you may want to begin by having your child sit on the potty after waking with a dry diaper, or 45 minutes to an hour after drinking lots of liquids. Only put your child on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day, and let your child get up if he or she wants to.
Have your child sit on the potty within 15 to 30 minutes after meals to take advantage of the body's natural tendency to have a bowel movement after eating (this is called the gastro-colic reflex). Also, many kids have a time of day they tend to have a bowel movement.
Ask your child to sit on the potty if you see clear clues of needing to go to the bathroom, such as crossing legs, grunting, or squatting.
Empty a bowel movement (poop) from your child's diaper into the toilet, and tell your child that poop goes in the potty.
Avoid clothes that are hard to take off, such as overalls and shirts that snap in the crotch. Kids who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.
Offer your child small rewards, such as stickers or time reading, every time your child goes in the potty. Keep a chart to track of successes. Once your little one appears to be mastering the use of the toilet, let him or her pick out a few new pairs of big-kid underwear to wear.
Make sure all caregivers — including babysitters, grandparents, and childcare workers — follow the same routine and use the same names for body parts and bathroom acts. Let them know how you're handling toilet training and ask that they use the same approaches so your child won't be confused.
Praise all attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens. And remember that accidents will happen. It's important not to punish potty-training children or show disappointment when they wet or soil themselves or the bed. Instead, tell your child that it was an accident and offer your support. Reassure your child that he or she is well on the way to using the potty like a big kid.

Common Toilet Training Problems

Many kids who've been using the potty have some trouble during times of stress. For example, a 2- or 3-year-old dealing with a new sibling may start having accidents.

But if your child was potty-trained and is regularly having problems, talk with your doctor.

Talk to your doctor if you have any questions about toilet training or your child is 4 years or older and is not yet potty trained.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

Date reviewed: March 2019

12 Tips to Teach Your Child| Mama Natural

Are you ready to ditch the diapers?! Here are 12 gentle and effective tips for potty training that honors both the parent and child.

After about 2 weeks of potty training, I’m delighted to say that our 2¾ year old Griffin is diaper free. YAY! While in retrospect, it seems easy; there were moments during this process, that I was thinking “this is harder than getting him to sleep through the night!” So, I wanted to share some potty training tips I learned through the process in hopes that it helps you and starts a dialogue.

Before you begin, be sure to see my earlier post, When To Potty Train Your Child, as it’s important that your little one is showing signs of readiness before you begin potty training. This will make everyone else’s lives easier, gentler and happier.

Assuming your child is showing signs of potty training readiness, let’s dive into some tips that can help you potty train your child.

Video: 12 Tips to Help You Potty Train Your Child

Tip 1: Get your child and house ready

As I stated in first video, tell your child that you’re going to start potty training at least a week before you start. This will help prepare him emotionally for the big day. You can have him or her pick out their potty as this gets them more invested in process. I also recommend getting a couple potties so that you’ve got one in most areas of the house. We used this one by Bjorn and this other one by Bjorn. Yes, it costs a bit more than just one, but I found it was important to make it easy for the little one to find and use a toilet while potty training.

Get plenty of potty training pants — consider letting your child pick out the colors/patterns. I bought a dozen pairs so that I wouldn’t have to do laundry everyday. I kinda thought of it like cloth diapers. I wanted a good stash so we could easily recover from accidents without having to do a ton of laundry.

Take up any rugs in the house. I only really took up one rug where he played a lot. I didn’t do any of the rugs upstairs because I kept him in a contained area to make it easier on everyone. The key is to roll up any rugs where he/she might pee on. Some people put a tarp down. Cover the areas where you’ll be focusing the potty training.

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Tip 2: Find out what motivates them

This is HUGE. While some more evolved souls may not use any form of encouragement or reward, I did. And it helped HUGE. I started with natural treats like fruit-flavored lollypops and organic dark-chocolate, and so forth. I told Griffin that every time he went on the potty, he would get a treat. Result? This was a total bomb. First few days, Griffin had like 2-4 accidents a day and I was getting frustrated. He wasn’t into it. And I wanted to quit. Then I realized that I wasn’t tapping into what motivates him. Now, food always motivates me, but not my child. I was viewing it through my eyes. For Griff? It’s all about toys. My son is a master collector. He has little animals, dinosaurs and literally walks around with 2-3 figurines at all times. Ah, this is what motivates him.

So, we went to toy store and picked out a few things he was totally excited about. I explained that this was for potty training. We got home and I put them in a basket. Every time he went pee or poo on the potty, I let him pick one toy out of basket. At the end of the day, we returned all the toys to the basket and started again the next day. Worked like a charm. He didn’t have any more accidents for the rest of the week.

Tip 3: Put them on the toilet often

As much as we’re trying to teach them to feel and honor the urge to go, we also want to work with them. So, I put Griffin on the toilet every 20 minutes during the first week of potty training, especially after meals! I would also monitor liquids so that he wasn’t downing 2 cups of water first thing in the morning… unless he really wanted it and then I’d put him on the toilet every 15 minutes. After about a week, I put him on every 30 minutes. Soon, he was telling me when he had to go. I still have to practice this today. If it’s been too long since he’s gone potty, I’ll encourage a pit stop.

Some parents get potty watches that cue regularly or they set timers. Whatever works to remind everyone it’s time to go during potty training.

As part of this, keep your schedule simple that first week. You don’t want to be running tons of errands and I’d actually recommend staying at home most of that first week if you can. You also want to be sure that they are dressed in easy toilet access clothes such as elastic waist shorts/pants or skirts. This makes it easy for them to get on the toilet fast and avoid accidents during potty training.

Tip 4: Praise them. But not too much 🙂

I found a simple “good job!” or “doesn’t that feel great?!” or “I like how you’re listening to your body” was the right way for me to honor any potty accomplishment. If I make too big of a deal, Griffin looked at me funny. LOL! He would also use it as a bargaining chip because he knew that I was so attached to the outcome. You don’t want your child to tie their ability to pee on the potty with his/her self-esteem so keep it light. The more relaxed and casual I was, the better. I also acted very confident in my child’s ability during potty training, which helped the entire process.

Tip 5: Acknowledge accidents and move on

Almost every child will have accidents during potty training. Even now, Griffin will have the occasional trip up, especially if we’re outside or playing with water, but accept that this is a normal part of process. I do take a moment and acknowledge the accident, and we talk about where pee belongs… in the potty. Then we quickly change and move on.

Tip 6: Make it FUN!

Kids love fun and you can make just about everything a game. Having the toy prizes was enough for Griffin but some parents find creating a potty song was a great motivator and made it fun. Singing can transform just about any chore or task! You can also put Cheerios in the toilet and have your child aim for them (if he’s a boy) as a little game. Some moms put food coloring in toilet water which excited some kids to go. Some parents make up a little potty party. Be creative while you’re potty training!

Tip 7: Trouble with #2? Get creative.

Some kids do great with peeing on the potty but are terrified of number 2. If that’s the case, you’ll have to dig deeper and find a way to make it safe for them. Try talking to them in a cuddling moment about their fears and see if you can pinpoint them. One mom said that her son felt that he was losing a part of himself by flushing poop down the toilet. So, she got an anatomy book and showed him how the process happens. This clicked with him and took way the fear.

Some children get too impatient. So give him/her a toy or read a book to them while they’re on the toilet. Another idea is to have a potty-trained friend come over. Peer pressure is powerful and if they see another little kid pooping on toilet, they will be more apt to imitate.

Lastly, consider having the other parent try if all else fails. Sometimes, it works as a fresh approach. Have daddy and child go take their poops together and see how it goes. (Oh, the things we do to potty training!)

Tip 8: Consider a naked weekend

Many parents report successful potty training by letting child be naked for a weekend and the whole family has a stay-cation at home. Kids are usually less apt to have accidents if they can actually see the pee or poo coming out of their body. By letting them be au natural, they are more in tune with their bodies, rhythms and body cues. If weather permits, you can go outside and let them play in the backyard naked. This will free you from constantly cleaning up accidents during potty training.

Tip 9: Start teaching them about wiping and washing hands

Now, they won’t master these tasks till they’re older but starting the routine now will help the transition. Let your child try to wipe first and then you finish. Get footstool so it’s easy for child to turn on faucets and start washing hands. By teaching this pattern during potty training, you’re setting up good rituals that will continue as they get older.

Tip 10: Make them comfortable in public

Some kids are afraid of the automatic flushing toilets in restrooms. They’re loud! And you don’t want this to get in your way of potty training. You can put a “Post It” note in front of sensor to block this feature and then just take care of once child is done and out of stall. Some kids are afraid of big toilet seat so bring a portable potty or you can try disposable toilet covers with their favorite character on them. (You might want to have some extra cloths in your purse too as some kids are afraid of the electric hand driers :).)

Tip 11: Be flexible with naps and nighttime

Some moms fully potty train and don’t ever put on a diaper again. I decided to put one on him at nap and nighttime; because frankly, I value my sleep immensely. I didn’t want his sleep times cut short because he had to go potty. Having said that, I would say 90% of the time, his diaper is dry when he wakes up from nap and 80% after nighttime sleep. Sometimes, I keep his underwear on for naps and he does great. We’re getting close to dropping his nap and moving him to big boy bed so I will put him in underwear 100% then. This way he can get out of bed and go potty in middle of night if need be. Point is, you can potty train your child 90% of the time and enjoy the freedom and ease of not having to change dirty diapers. Don’t think it has to be all or nothing when potty training.

Tip 12: Be patient and try, try again

It can definitely be frustrating for both mom and child if there are lots of failed attempts during potty training but just remember your child will eventually learn. Whether it’s next week or next year, it will happen. Just keep at it and take breaks if necessary. Each child has his/her own pace and it’s important for us to honor this.

If you want a more comprehensive guide…

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How about you?

What tips and techniques helped you when potty training your child? Share with us in the comments below so we can learn from each other!

10 easy steps to the potty

Author of the article Kravtsova Elena Mikhailovna

247616 views

September 15 2021

Some time ago, "early potty training" techniques were in vogue. Mothers boasted to each other that their baby was already asking for a potty at 6, 5, 3 months (underline as appropriate). However, now pediatricians agree that such methods should be recognized as outdated and non-physiological. After all, they are all based on the development of a conditioned reflex, and not on the acquisition of a conscious skill. Experts recommend starting potty training later - when the child shows his readiness to use it. And about how to determine the right moment and master the potty without tears and stress, we will talk with psychologist Elena Mikhailovna Kravtsova.

Action Plan

Step 1: Choose a pot. It should be comfortable, with a back, not cold. The pot should not slide on the floor (this can cause injury), and it is better not to be a toy. A pot is a pot!
Step 2: Introduce your baby to the potty. You simply tell the child that he now has his own little toilet, show it and find a place for the potty. It can be a corner in the toilet, in the bathroom or in the children's room - where it is more convenient for you will be more convenient.
Step 3: Mastering potty games. Play with the baby in the daughter-mother, show how the toys pee in the pot. Ideally, if there is a baby doll who can also pee almost for real.

Step 4: Prepare. When the pot has already “settled” in the house, and the baby is used to this piece of furniture, we begin to tell that he will soon become very large and will, like mom and dad, do their small and big things in a pot, and not in pants. You can even start a special calendar in which you and your child will mark the days until "X hour" when he learns to use the potty. Give it 2-3 weeks.
Step 5: Trying out new skills. Gently invite your child to sit on the potty. Help take off pants and a diaper. At this time, it is better to switch to diaper panties - it is convenient to take them off and put them on again if the baby is left dry.
Step 6: Plant according to schedule. If the baby does not act up and does not resist, start dropping him off on a schedule. Immediately after waking up, half an hour after each meal and drink. Before the walk, after the walk. Before bedtime.
Step 7: Remove the diaper at home. Right from early morning. Determine the day when you can really constantly be with the baby and "catch" him. You can wear a diaper to sleep, as children do not immediately learn to stay dry in their sleep.

Step 8: Go for a walk without a diaper. After a couple of days without a diaper at home, try going for a walk without using diapers. Do not go far from home so that you can try to have time to run to the potty. If it didn’t work out, in no case do not scold the baby. He tried his best, and he will definitely succeed next time!
Step 9: Trying to sleep during the day without a diaper. Drop your baby off before nap time and leave your baby without a diaper. To prevent an "accident" use disposable diapers. If the first couple of days does not work out - do not be discouraged, postpone this step for a while.
Step 10: Remove the diaper at night. Drop your baby off before bed at night. Many babies take a month or more to learn how to stay dry all night.

Giving the baby time

The path to the potty can take from several days to several months. Do not force events, carefully monitor the condition of the baby. If he is sick or simply refuses to sit on the potty with crying, this is a normal reason to postpone the passage of the entire path for a while. If the child is nervous and capricious, it means that he is simply not ready yet. In this matter, it is not recommended to put pressure on the child, because violent actions will not help, but will only slow down the process of potty training.

Potty ready

A toddler is ready to potty train if he is:

Can bend down, squat and stand up;
Understands the speech of an adult, he can explain something to him and agree with him;
Speaks some words, can communicate his needs;
Stays dry for about 2 hours while awake;
Feels uncomfortable with soiled or wet "panties" and demonstrates this.

Reasons for not potty

Even toddlers who already know how to go to the potty sometimes suddenly refuse the potty.

There are various reasons:

change of scenery, moving;
birth of a younger brother or sister;
admission to kindergarten;
crisis of the age of three "everything is the opposite";
family problems, parental quarrels;
baby's illness.

Author of the article Kravtsova Elena Mikhailovna

Psychologist, child and adolescent

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How to potty train your child: step by step instructions | Chalk

The moment when a child himself asks for a potty can be safely compared in significance with the first step and the first word. How to bring this time closer - and is it possible? Let's figure it out.

When to start potty training

This is perhaps the most important question that parents of children from 1 year old ask. But there are no exact recommendations regarding both the lower and upper limits of the age of potty training. It is believed that by the age of 3, children should already be able to cope with going to the toilet on their own. But in the West, you can often meet children who wear diapers at the age of 3 or 4 - and no one pays attention to this.

In any case, both our and Western experts now agree that each child is individual and it is necessary to focus not on age, but on the level of his development.

An approximate lower age range that can be identified is from 14 months to 3 years. However, doctors usually clarify: if you start potty training at 14-16 months, then the process can stretch for several more months, and if you start at 2 years and later, you can do it in just a week.

Why such numbers? The thing is that the signaling system is responsible for the process of urination and defecation, and until it matures, you can try for as long as you like, but there will be no result. In fact, if you are trying to teach a six-month-old baby to consciously potty train, this can be compared to trying to teach a newborn to walk: a child at this age is simply not ready for this process from a purely physiological point of view.

Up to 16–18 months, excretory processes occur reflexively, without involving the nervous system

From a physiological point of view, potty training can begin when the child has learned to walk, can squat, holds himself in space, can take off his clothes and gestures show what he wants. As a rule, a child masters all these skills by 1–1.5 years. But here a psychological moment comes in the way, namely the crisis of the first year, when the child becomes capricious and uncontrollable, for the first time begins to say “no”.

How to tell if a child is ready to use the potty

He shows interest in the toilet and what other family members are doing there;
Understands when he went to the toilet, requires gestures or words to change the diaper or wash it. That is, he experiences discomfort and understands the reason for this discomfort;
Child stays dry during naps or more than two hours during the day;
The child shows by gestures, words or facial expressions when he wants to go to the toilet. It is not uncommon for children to hide behind a curtain when they are doing "big things", squat down, move into another room, or hide in a corner, trying to simulate the isolation of the space for their intimate needs.

In addition, it is very important that at the time of the beginning of potty training the child is healthy, cheerful and cheerful.

7 reasons that should make you put off the pot until better times:

the child is sick;
the child is teething;
the child did not pass the crisis of the first year;
you are weaning or weaning a baby from a bottle/pacifier;
a younger brother or sister has recently been born;
moving to a new location;
mother's going to work (and other stressful situations that knock the child out of his usual rhythm of life).

Photo: Lopolo / shutterstock / fotodom

How to start potty training

The first step is to get yourself a potty. The choice of a toilet accessory should be approached with all seriousness. It often happens that it is the wrong potty that causes the child to categorically refuse to "go to the toilet like a big one."

So which pot should you choose?

Plastic with rounded soft edges - it is much more comfortable to sit on such a pot than on an enamelled specimen from Soviet childhood, warm plastic does not scare away;
With rubberized pad on the bottom - keeps the pot in place and does not allow it to slip, which means that the risk of falling and injury is minimal;
Not a toy - It is clear that a pot in the form of a throne, a car or an animal can be bright and attractive, but it is still a toiletry item, not a toy. Choose calm colors, without bright ornaments, etc.;
Without musical accompaniment - potty, equipped with a sensor that plays music or a song when the child has successfully completed his task, designed to motivate the child to do it regularly. However, sudden loud noises can simply cause fear. And music as an encouragement after toilet chores can reinforce the wrong reflex, from which you will then have to wean.

Potty Training Instructions

Step 1: Familiarize yourself with the potty. Tell the child what the potty is for, call a spade a spade. Yes, saying the words "pissed" and "pooped" may not be very comfortable, but this is physiology, and you can't do without it. Remember that if you are ashamed to talk about this topic, then this feeling of shame will be transmitted to the child, and this can subsequently provoke a number of problems and difficulties not only with mastering the potty, but also with the psychosexual development of the child.

Step 2: Find a place for the pot. The pot must be within reach. If you close the door to the toilet so that the child does not throw toys and other things into the toilet, it is better to keep the potty in the corner of the child's room or in the bathroom. If you are worried about cleanliness around, you can put the potty on a disposable diaper (make sure it does not slip on the floor) or a rubber mat.

Step 3: Show how to use the potty. Place a teddy bear, rabbit or doll on the potty. The role-playing game will allow you to consolidate the pattern of behavior. If there is a baby doll who can really write if you give him water to drink, then this will be even more of a help.

Another important point. There are children who do not want to sit on the potty, but prefer to immediately sit on the toilet "like a big one." Excellent - a special toilet seat and your own example will help solve this problem.

Step 4: Remove the diaper. A child who constantly walks in a diaper will not learn to go to the potty simply because he does not correlate the processes in his body with the result of what is happening. To establish this connection, he needs to see everything with his own eyes and feel it for himself. That is why panties for potty training began to appear, which do not immediately absorb all the moisture.

For the time when you remove the diaper and potty train your baby, it is better to use comfortable clothes that the toddler can easily take off by himself. Most accidents most often occur for a banal reason: the child does not have time to unbutton and zip on jeans, pull off tight leggings and tights, and then also panties. Make it easy for him.

One mother, while potty training, simply covered the entire floor in the apartment with disposable diapers, and undressed the children, and they ran around naked. Her life hack has since been used by thousands of fans, and it really works. When a child sees that a puddle appears on the floor after he has peed, he begins to understand how this happens, which means that a causal relationship is formed faster.

Step 5: Offer the pot on a "schedule". This does not mean that you need to set an alarm clock and put your child on the potty by the hour. No. A simple rule works here: a potty after sleep and before bed, plus 15–20 minutes after eating, as well as before and after a walk.

The season, oddly enough, also matters, especially in our latitudes. Easier and faster potty training occurs in spring and summer, when a child can run around the countryside naked, and in the city - in light shorts or panties and a dress. Accidents, which will undoubtedly happen at first, do not damage the psyche of parents, which means that the number of shouts and shameful words is minimized, since even the most patient and conscious parent has the right to break down at some point and not withstand the next wet pants.

By the way, in Japan, children are potty trained in the summer for purely hygienic reasons. It’s just that in winter, tatami mats lie on the floor in houses, which are very difficult to wash in case of unforeseen situations.

Step 6: Remove the diaper completely. When you potty train your child, at first, the diaper should be worn only for daytime and nighttime sleep. Then he is first removed for daytime sleep, covering the bed with disposable diapers, and after some time (for some children it may take a week, while for others it may take several months), they begin to remove the diaper for a night's sleep too. And here you need to be prepared for the fact that wet nights will happen, even if you put the child on the potty in the middle of the night. This is completely normal.

Potty training hacks

The process of potty training should be easy and fun for everyone involved, both parent and child. What can be done for this?

Motivation system. Have your child put stickers on the potty for each success;
Beautiful lingerie. Buy beautiful panties for your child. which will be a pity to get dirty. The main thing - in no case do not scold if the toddler still did not cope with the task. Everything can always be washed off;
Habit calendar. Together with your child, start a calendar in which mark the date when he will become very big and learn to go to the potty - in a month and a half. As we remember, a habit is formed in 21 days, and this period, on average, is enough to teach a two-year-old child to go to the potty. Cross out days together, celebrate successes (we don’t celebrate failures) and be sure to celebrate X-day;
Fairy tale therapy. Read therapeutic stories about potty training or make up one yourself.

Mistakes of parents in the process of potty training

The period of potty training is quite stressful for both the child and the parents. One word can sometimes spoil everything that has been achieved in a few weeks.

Do's and Don'ts