Home » Misc » How do you find a child given up for adoption
How do you find a child given up for adoption
Looking for My Birth Child: Where Do I Start?
October 18, 2017
Birth parents, specifically those who placed their child through a closed adoption process, may yearn to find information on their child. It may be only a few months, a few years, or as long as many decades before you decide to begin your search. Many birth families have a difficult time knowing where to begin looking for their birth child.
A simple search on the web can bring back many different resources to help you start. Articles and individuals may suggest Facebook searches, private investigators, ancestry sites, and agency support. Each person is different. Sometimes the easiest way to jump-start a search is by using a professional who is highly trained, licensed, and vetted. Licensed private investigators, ancestry sites, ancestry professionals, and adoption agency staff are easy ways to jump-start the process by taking what little (or maybe a great deal) information you have and getting you on the right path with any or all of the answers you need. Many of these professionals can also facilitate a search and reunion, which can make the entire process seamless.
Where Do I Start?
Once you decide whether you want to utilize a digital resource, professional, website, or agency to help with the search or to do it on your own, you may find yourself thinking, “What next?” Your next step will be easily facilitated by an adoption search professional. If you want to start the process at your own pace, you may want to begin gathering all the information you have regarding the placement. Remembering even mundane facts can be incredibly helpful.
Research what resources are available to you. You may be surprised by the plethora of resources you can utilize to jump-start your own search.
The following resources offer a good place to start when searching on your own for your birth child:
Adoption.com has one of the most comprehensive adoption reunion registries on the web. By registering and viewing the compiled data, you can make your information available to potential members of your biological family who are also registered and viewing the registry. The adoption forums on Adoption.com are open and offer incredibly useful information for you as you begin your search.
Get a copy of the state law on adoption records from the state in which you placed your child. This information can be found online, at your local library, or from your member of Congress or local state representatives.
Contact the agency, adoption attorney, or mothers home that handled the adoption to see if they have any additional resources regarding your specific adoption or search.
Utilize social media and social networking platforms to see if you are able to find your birth child with the information you compiled. Use caution on the internet; double-check your findings with a private detective on an hourly basis to ensure the person you located is actually who he or she says.
Wherever you are in the search, remember that you are not alone. Remember that oftentimes your birth child is just as curious about you as you are about him or her. There are wonderful resources and support communities available to you throughout the search-and-reunion process.
Check out a real reunion story here.
For a comprehensive adoption guide to search and reunion, visit AdoptionInformation.com.
Jennifer Mellon has worked in the child welfare field for more than a decade, serving in varying capacities as the Executive Director and Chief Development Officer of Joint Council on International Children’s Services (JCICS) and the Corporate Communications Program Manager for the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI). Jennifer has served on the Board of the Campagna Center, which provides critical educational services to children and families in the DC Metro Area and on the Development Committee for the National Council for Adoption. She is the mom of three children and resides in Alexandria, Virginia.
Adoption Articles More Blogs
Get email alerts when we add new adoption articles.
How Can I Find My Adopted Child?
Begin your search
Who are you trying to find?
Select AnswerMy birth parent(s)A siblingMy adopted childA family member
For the purpose of this search, which best describes you?
Select AnswerI wish to find a person who was adoptedI am the adopted personI am searching on behalf of an adopted person
1st (+/- two days)2nd (+/- two days)3rd (+/- two days)4th (+/- two days)5th (+/- two days)6th (+/- two days)7th (+/- two days)8th (+/- two days)9th (+/- two days)10th (+/- two days)11th (+/- two days)12th (+/- two days)13th (+/- two days)14th (+/- two days)15th (+/- two days)16th (+/- two days)17th (+/- two days)18th (+/- two days)19th (+/- two days)20th (+/- two days)21st (+/- two days)22nd (+/- two days)23rd (+/- two days)24th (+/- two days)25th (+/- two days)26th (+/- two days)27th (+/- two days)28th (+/- two days)29th (+/- two days)30th (+/- two days)31st (+/- two days)
In which country did the adoption take place?
United States of AmericaEnglandCanadaAustraliaAfghanistanAlbaniaAlgeriaAmerican SamoaAndorraAngolaAnguillaAntiqua and BarbudaArgentinaArmeniaArubaAustriaAzerbaijanBahamasBahrainBangladeshBarbadosBelarusBelgiumBelizeBeninBermudaBhutanBoliviaBosnia and HerzegovinaBotswanaBrazilBruneiBulgariaBurkina FasoBurundiCambodiaCameroonCape VerdeCayman IslandsCentral African RepublicChadChileChinaChristmas IslandCocos (Keeling) IslandsColombiaComorosCongo (Brazzaville)Congo (Kinshasa)Cook IslandsCosta RicaCote D'IvoireCroatiaCubaCypress - GreekCypress - TurkishCzech RepublicDenmarkDjiboutiDominicaDominican RepublicEast TimorEcuadorEgyptEl SalvadorEquatorial GuineaEritreaEstoniaEthiopiaFalkland Islands (Islas Malvinas)Faroe IslandsFijiFinlandFranceFrench GuianaFrench PolynesiaFrench Southern and Antarctic LandsGabonGambiaGeorgiaGermanyGhanaGibraltarGreeceGreenlandGrenadaGuadeloupeGuamGuatemalaGuernseyGuineaGuinea-BissauGuyanaHaitiHondurasHong KongHungaryIcelandIndiaIndonesiaIranIraqIrelandIsle of ManIsraelItalyJamaicaJapanJerseyJordanKazakhstanKenyaKiribatiKosovoKuwaitKyrgyzstanLaosLatviaLebanonLesothoLiberiaLibyaLiechtensteinLithuaniaLuxembourgMacauMacedoniaMadagascarMalawiMalaysiaMaldivesMaliMaltaMarshall IslandsMartiniqueMauritaniaMauritiusMayotteMexicoMicronesiaMoldovaMonacoMongoliaMontenegroMontserratMoroccoMozambiqueMyanmar (Burma)NamibiaNauruNepalNetherlandsNetherlands AntillesNew CaledoniaNew ZealandNicaraguaNigerNigeriaNiueNorfolk IslandNorth KoreaNorthern IrelandNorthern Mariana IslandsNorwayOmanPakistanPalauPanamaPapua New GuineaParaguayPeruPhilippinesPitcairn IslandsPolandPortugalPuerto RicoQatarReunionRomaniaRussiaRwandaSaint HelenaSaint Kitts and NevisSaint LuciaSaint Pierre and MiquelonSaint Vincent and the GrenadinesSamoaSan MarinoSao Tome and PrincipeSaudi ArabiaScotlandSenegalSerbiaSeychellesSierra LeoneSingaporeSlovakiaSloveniaSolomon IslandsSomaliaSouth AfricaSouth Georgia and the South Sandwich IslSouth KoreaSpainSri LankaSudanSurinameSvalbard and Jan Mayen IslandsSwazilandSwedenSwitzerlandSyriaTaiwanTajikistanTanzaniaThailandTogoTokelauTongaTrinidad and TobagoTunisiaTurkeyTurkmenistanTurks and Caicos IslandsTuvaluUgandaUkraineUnited Arab EmiratesUruguayUzbekistanVanuatuVenezuelaVietnamVirgin Islands, BritishVirgin Islands, United StatesWalesWallis and FutunaWestern SaharaYemenZambiaZimbabwe
When did the adoption take place?
More than a year after birthWithin a year of birth
Since the time of adoption, have you been in contact?
Have been in contactHave not been in contact
how to search for a child using the Internet
Among more than 50 thousand questionnaires in Russian orphanages, it is difficult to find exactly the child whom the family wants to adopt. Specialized websites work to help such families.
Elena Almazova Family and children 01/30/2018
Photo: Konstantin Chalabov / RIA Novosti
Where to start searching for those who want to become adoptive parents?
1. Decide where to look
Usually, when children are officially abandoned by blood parents or parents are deprived of their rights, the child receives the status “to be placed in a family”. From this moment begins the search for a new family. A personal file is started, it is “attached” to the district guardianship of an orphanage or an orphanage (depending on age). If within a month the child has not been placed in a family, data about him are transferred to the regional catalog.
So, from the custody of the district of any city near Moscow, these questionnaires fall into the bank of the Moscow region. Moscow and St. Petersburg have their own databases. And almost every subject of the Federation has its own websites with catalogs of children's profiles. Within the home region, you can find a child faster than at the federal level - in addition to posting on websites, announcements about babies in need of a family device are regularly published in local publications, special social videos are shown on regional TV channels, all kinds of events and promotions are held that attract attention to orphans.
The federal data bank “Adopt.ru” unites all kids and teenagers looking for adoptive parents or adoptive parents. 51,072 questionnaires of orphans in need of a family have been collected here. In the questionnaires, in addition to the photo (video) of the child, they usually indicate the name without patronymic and last name, month and year of birth (the date is not written in full). They also give a brief description: interests, hobbies, temperament, health characteristics. The questionnaire contains contacts of the guardianship and guardianship authorities in charge of the child, and indicates the possible types of family placement - adoption, guardianship. The reasons for the lack of parental care of mother and father are also explained. More detailed information can be obtained only at a personal meeting with the child and employees of the guardianship authorities.
The regional or federal data bank issues a referral to visit the child, but first coordinates the meeting with the district guardianship authority: it is possible that someone has already begun to visit the child by contacting the district directly, or relatives have appeared who decided to take him to the family.
Photo: Vladimir Pesnya/RIA Novosti
NB : in many cases, it is very difficult for adoptive parents to choose a child from a photo, since most catalogs contain low-quality photographs, many of the pictures were taken by guardianship officials themselves. For a full-fledged questionnaire of the federal base, such photographs are clearly not suitable, experts say.
“I am studying the Adopt.ru website. It is good that there is such a resource, and it helps to find orphans who can be taken into the family. But how children are photographed - there are no words. Like before being shot or after serving time in a zone, - Alexander Gezalov, publicist, public figure, expert of the Foundation for Support of Children in Difficult Life Situations, member of the Council of the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation on the protection of rights and legitimate interests of orphans and children left without parental care. - In a number of regions, the photos were taken as if on purpose - "do not take these children." When will foundations and NGOs start helping film orphans in such a way as to reveal the real pluses and minuses?”
Unfortunately, there are not many NGOs in Russia that deal with the problems of children left without parental care, who can create high-quality videos and take presentable photographs.
One of the pleasant exceptions is the Change One Life Charitable Foundation. The foundation's website contains the largest database of video profiles of children who dream of finding a loving family. There are currently 19,724 children on the waiting list. Each video is a mini-story about a child, his hobbies, dreams and desires. It is these video stories that give a child a chance to find their parents faster. The Foundation's employees also help the family prepare for the adoption of a child in a family: they advise on family placement, regularly hold webinars, and provide free tickets for parents who go to another region to pick up their child.
There are also examples in the regions. For example, the Happy Children charity foundation from Krasnoyarsk also makes high-quality photos and videos, specifically collecting donations for this. Professional photographers and videographers are invited, a colorful portfolio of the child is created, which is subsequently published on the Web.
2. Learn to read announcements. Including between the lines
What should be paid attention to in advertisements and questionnaires?
1) Child's health. It is not customary to write in detail about health characteristics in questionnaires. Therefore, when communicating with representatives of the regional guardianship, it is important to find out a detailed history of the life and development of the child. Often, social workers know the directors of orphanages personally, so when visiting guardianship authorities, you can ask them to call the orphanage where you are going to pick up the baby. It is important to ask how the child grows up: whether he is constantly isolated from his peers or, on the contrary, tries to be in the center of attention, etc. But it must be kept in mind that the wards of orphanages are sometimes diagnosed with developmental delay for no reason, as many families who have adopted children note. This is because in most cases the attention of the staff is not enough for all the kids, and the development of a child without the constant help of an adult may be delayed.
Photo: Vladimir Pesnya/RIA Novosti
2) Presence of brothers and sisters. According to Alexander Gezalov, it is necessary not only to indicate whether the child has them, but also to provide a link to their profiles. Indeed, according to Article 124 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the adoption of brothers and sisters by different persons is not allowed, except in cases where the adoption is in the interests of the children.
It is possible that the guardianship authorities will not allow children to be separated, and then the adoptive parents must decide whether they can take into the family several at once, and even different ages. The charitable foundation from St. Petersburg "Children are waiting" in the questionnaire of each ward indicates links to the portfolio of brothers and sisters, which makes it possible for future parents to consider further actions.
3) Relevance of information. Data on children enter the federal databases with delays and are updated quite rarely. For example, information about children under the age of one is updated once a year, and for babies older than one year, the update is updated every three years. Therefore, you need to double-check whether this child has a family. This can be done most quickly at the regional level.
Updated 2/1/2018 Update: in accordance with paragraph 23 of the Procedure for the formation, maintenance and use of the state data bank on children left without parental care, sends updated information to the federal operator on the establishment, change, clarification or withdrawal of a diagnosis in children left without parental care within 3 working days from the date of its receipt, but at least once a year; photographs of children left without parental care, until the child reaches 3 years old - every 4 months; for children aged 3 to 7 years - every 6 months; for children over the age of 7 years - every 2 years.
3. Keep in mind the deadlines
If the parents-to-be have already decided which child they want to meet in person, they will be given (by local or regional guardianship authorities) a referral to get to know the child. It is valid for a month, after which a decision must be made and reported to the guardianship authorities. It is worth remembering that while one family thinks, other potential adoptive parents are not allowed to date this child.
Update 2/1/2018 Bug fix: referral to visit a child left without parental care is valid not for a month, but for 10 working days. We apologize to readers.
Dear readers, colleagues, friends of ASI.
Your support is very important to us. Together we can make the news better and more interesting.
Tags: Alexander Gezalov, video passport for orphans, adoption experience, adoption of orphans
NCOs: Children's Waiting Charitable Foundation, Children's Charitable Foundation "Happy Children", Charitable Foundation for Assistance to the Family Placement of Orphans "Change One Life"
Services of organizations one life"
The Change One Life Foundation helps children and parents find each other: creates video questionnaires for children in need of a family, provides consultations on pedagogical, medical, legal issues, provides nannies to prevent emotional burnout of adoptive parents.
The latest news and our best materials in your mailbox
Subscribe by email
Conference "Palliative care in neurology: focus on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis" in Kazan
Thu, 20.10.2022, 09:30 Kazan
Online meeting "Difficulties with bookkeeping for NGOs"
Fri, 21.10.2022, 12:00 Online
The fourth round table of the project "We are near"
Sat, 22.10.2022, 11:00 Moscow
Exhibition of animals from shelters "Yuna-Fest"
Sat, 22.10.2022, 12:00 Moscow
Premiere screening of the film "Tick-Tock"
Sat, 22.10.2022, 13:00 Moscow
Part 4. How to find "your" child for adoption or guardianship?
Adoption and guardianship in the Ulyanovsk region
We are completing the publication of materials on the topic of adoption. Their author, a mother of many children, Tatyana Ermolaeva, has personal experience in guardianship and adoption, who has accompanied host parents in the regional association of foster parents for many years, is the chairman of the ANO Family and Childhood Support Center "Native People". She not only clearly describes the legal details of the placement of children in a family, but also supplements the materials with her own experience, a story about the problems that she and other parents have to face, and ways to resolve them.
In the last article, Tatyana talks about how to find a child to place in her family.
The previous material was devoted to drawing up a conclusion on the right to accept a child into a family. The conclusion received is valid for two years. During this time, you will definitely be able to find "your" child, and perhaps you will come to a different solution that will be better for your family. You have a lot of time to make an informed decision.
The very receipt of a certificate of the possibility to adopt a child is a holiday for future parents! Now you can take a break from going through the authorities. And focus on finding a child that you will love, protect, to whom you can give all the best ... But where is he, this child?
Children who can be adopted into a family live in orphanages and children's homes both in our region and in other regions of Russia. At the end of 2019year, their official number is 44,646. Information about those who can be adopted into the family is concentrated in the federal data bank (hereinafter - FBD). It is available to everyone.
If you have received an opinion on the possibility of becoming an adoptive parent, you can only consider the data of children with the status of "adoption". If you have a conclusion on the possibility of becoming a foster parent or guardian, then you can also consider children with both the status of "adoption" and "guardianship".
It is useful to understand that there are open and closed data on children who can be adopted into a family. Open Data is a federal data bank on orphans (FBD). It contains data only on children with full or incomplete status. Any citizen who has the appropriate opinion can watch the FBI, can call the operator in the region where a particular child is located (these contacts are also on the FBI website) and ask to get to know him. If a referral was not previously issued for this child or consent was signed for his transfer to the family, then such a candidate MUST be given a referral to get to know the child. Oral statements by blood relatives that they plan to take the child to live with them, according to the law, cannot be the basis for refusing potential adoptive parents or guardians. As we said earlier, kinship custody (preliminary) is issued within five days. If the relatives were willing and able to take the child, they would do it. If not, by law, potential adoptive parents and guardians can take a referral to get to know the child. Because in the interests of the child, life is not in an orphanage, but in a normal family. This is his right, it is protected by law. And this should be reminded if there is a clear or hidden tendency to detain a child in a state institution.
If the child has already been referred to other candidates, do not be embarrassed. This direction is valid for 10 days. But usually a few days are enough to make a decision. Call and clarify the situation again. As a rule, more than one referral is issued for each child. Something may not meet the expectations of other parents, and now, the child is already "free" again. Call and find out.
In addition to the federal data bank, there is also a regional data bank on orphans. It is also available online in some regions. In the Ulyanovsk region, it is closed. At the regional stage of the family structure, there are children whose parents are deprived or limited in their rights, and this happened relatively recently. In the first months, the guardianship authorities should try to find substitute parents for such a child in their region. They call the candidates who have lined up for a particular municipality. To join this queue in the Ulyanovsk region, you need to contact the regional operator. It is located at the address: Ulyanovsk, st. Federation, 60.
Call for an appointment: +7 (8422) 44-58-10. It is useful to apply for a queue in all municipalities of the region where orphanages and shelters are located. You will be called, invited and told about new children who can be adopted into the family, according to the data that you indicated in the application. Whether or not to meet a particular child is your right.
If the placement of a child in a family at the regional stage did not occur, his data enters the federal open data bank, they become available to all applicants throughout the country.
It is important to understand that there are no "statusless" children in FBD. Earlier, we have already said that, in addition to the “state”, there are also “parental” children who are temporarily placed in social institutions upon application, or those whose parents are in the process of depriving or restricting their rights to children. These are tens of thousands of "invisible" children in the FBI. If you want to support these guys, give them a family, even if they have the rights of temporary guardianship, then write a corresponding application to the guardianship department. It is useful to duplicate it directly to the administration in the shelters of the region. To do this, you need to have the appropriate right, that is, a conclusion on the possibility of preliminary guardianship or a conclusion of a higher level (for adoption, foster family, guardianship).
So there are two ways to find "your" child. The first is the waiting mode for proposals from the guardianship authorities, the regional operator. The second is an active search (including queuing in other regions), calls for children found on their own in the FBI. Great help to future parents is provided not only by questionnaires in the FBI, where there is only a photo and minimal information about the child. It is possible to watch videos about such children. Thousands of questionnaires with videos are in the public domain, for example, on the website of the Change One Life Foundation. Those who wish will find dozens of charitable organizations on the Internet that publish questionnaires with videos on their websites and social networks. Questionnaires of children in the Ulyanovsk region are taken by volunteers of the regional Association of Foster Families and ANO "Native People", they can be found, in addition to the FBI, on the website deti vsenashi.rf.
But very often, potential adoptive parents and guardians complain that they are told "we have no children. " So they can answer in the guardianship authorities and at the reception at the regional operator. How to understand it? It's not that someone is hiding the children. It's just that often potential adoptive parents have very high expectations regarding the psychophysical well-being of children. If you want to adopt a healthy baby (especially a girl) of Slavic appearance up to three years old, without brothers and sisters, then most likely you will find just such an answer. Such children appear in the system extremely rarely. And who is there? Most are children over seven years old, boys, with health and behavioral problems. There are many "engines" of several brothers or sisters. Many children of non-Slavic nationality. Many have already experienced more than one orphanhood when they were returned from foster families. Many have learned during their still small childhood such things that they will not present themselves even in terrible dreams. This is reality. But do not rush to refuse acquaintance with such children. Grow like a parent, ask for help from experienced psychologists. And go to the children, communicate. Invite whoever is allowed to visit. It often happens that a particular child turns the view of the family. Preparing for a baby, and becoming the parents of three brothers or a couple of teenagers - this is not uncommon.
Children do not end up in orphanages because of a good life. Health problems may be the result of their parents' not-too-healthy lifestyle. Mental problems can become a cumulative result of the very deprivation, developmental delay that most children in orphanages suffer from. Often a child is admitted to an orphanage, for example, with a third health group. And after a couple of years, this is the fifth group, disability. Unfortunately, the orphanage system itself, regardless of the efforts of employees, has a devastating effect on the psyche and health of children. And when they get into a family, many children, with proper care, can significantly compensate for their developmental lag, but this is a lot of mutual work.
A particular problem is the motivation of children over 10 years of age. If younger children do not have a say in this matter, then children 10 years old and older can already say their “yes” or “no” in response to the offer to become members of a new family. Unfortunately, this is often used by adults, on whom it depends whether the child remains in the orphanage. Often there is a desire of the administration to maintain the number of pupils of the institution. I have heard from the first persons of orphanages that children are better off there than in foster families. In addition, pupils are jobs, per capita financing of the institution. I have heard how former pupils told their adoptive parents that in the orphanage they were dissuaded from leaving for a family. But it is important to remember that a potential adoptive parent or guardian has the right to invite a school-age child to visit for the weekend, for holidays. If you can build sincere contact with a teenager, everything will work out. At the decisive moment, he will say "yes", they will not be able to dissuade him if being a guest has earned him confidence in the host family.
But remember that the moment you find "your" child will only be the beginning of a long journey. To build happiness in a family that accepts a child is a lot of parental work. Such a family has a special experience. This is not always an easy adaptation of the child, possible difficulties with his blood relatives, the need to heal the emotional wounds of a child with a difficult childhood, anxieties, justified and not very.
And at the same time, believe me, an adopted child can become a family! In Russia, hundreds of thousands of children grow up in families of adoptive parents and guardians. Most of these families known to us are worthy examples of children's well-being, parental responsibility and love. Perhaps you are also ready to start the path to accepting a child left without parental care into your family, into your heart?
If you want to get the experience of "smart" assistance to children from orphanages, to better understand the reality of foster parenthood, fill out the online questionnaire for volunteers of ANO "Native People".