Finger sucking in toddlers

How to Stop Toddler Thumb-Sucking – Happiest Baby

By Happiest Baby Staff

Your little one came preloaded with certain reflexes—built-in software, if you will—that help them do complex things, and one of those things is the ability to suck: Suck on a breast, a bottle, a pacifier, and yes, their thumbs. Babies were born to suck! In fact, they were sucking before you even met. (You may have caught your first glimpse on the sonogram picture!) This natural habit not only proves important for, you know, eating, but it also boosts feel-good endorphins in your baby’s brain and works with the rest of the 5 S’s to trigger the calming reflex. All great things.

But at some point, almost all parents gaze upon their sweet thumb-sucking cherub and wonder: Will my child be sucking their thumb forever? Do I need to stop this habit, pronto?

First, take a deep breath. There are pretty much no thumb-sucking adults wandering this Earth. Plus, it’s totally normal (and very comforting) for toddlers to continue to want to suck. And according to the American Dental Association (ADA), most kiddos stop sucking their thumb on their own between the ages of 2 and 4 years old. Does that mean you don’t have to intervene if your kiddo is a hardcore thumb-sucker? Unfortunately, it does not.

When a child continues to suck their thumb after their permanent front teeth come in, the habit can interfere with the proper growth of their mouth and the alignment of their teeth. The more often and intensely a tot sucks, the higher the risk of dental issues. (PS: Prolonged pacifier use can affect teeth similarly. The difference: It’s easier to wean a tyke from an object than an appendage!) While future orthodontic worries are legit, if your child’s ditches their thumb-sucking habit by age 3 or 4, there’s actually little likelihood of any long-term effects.

Now the question is: How to break the habit in time? Here, six tips to help.

Lead with respect.

Whenever you talk to your kiddo about their thumb-sucking, make sure you’re below your child’s eye level. This stance works wonders for making your child feel respected. And just a friendly reminder, when we treat someone with respect, we don’t use any harsh or teasing words that can easily make a child feel shame. Instead, keep your words and tone friendly, concentrating on the behavior, not the kiddo.

Find a substitute.

Before you can urge your child to stop sucking their thumb, it’s a good idea to ask them why they do it. (If they can’t verbalize their why, pay attention to their when, to figure it out yourself.) Oftentimes, for instance, children turn to their thumbs when they’re feeling a little insecure or need comfort. Once you drill down on why your child craves their thumb, you can work together to figure out what they can do instead. If your tot sucks to help them settle in for night-night, a lovey might be a stellar replacement. (Spy your tyke mindlessly plugging their thumb into their mouth? Hand them their lovey, instead.)

Talk about consequences.

And we're not talking punishment! If you have an older toddler, share with your child how thumb-sucking can impact their teeth and skin. After all, a lot of children have no idea that sucking their thumb is a habit they need to ditch! Try things like: Sucking your thumb can give the soft skin on your thumb an ouchy! I don’t want you to get a boo-boo! Or Thumb-sucking can make your teeth crooked. Let’s try to keep your smile straight. If you need to, you can always ask your child’s dentist to explain what could happen to their teeth if they don’t stop sucking.

Baby step success.

If your tot sucks their thumb at various points throughout the day, consider allowing one of those thumb-sucking timeslots to remain...just for a little bit longer. For example, if your child tends to thumb-suck at naps and when you read stories, you might want to consider allowing your child to only suck their thumb during storytime. This gradual change can make the overall goal more attainable—and help sidestep some power struggles.

If your thumb-sucker is at least 2, try a star chart to encourage this behavior. Simply choose three behaviors to track: Two your kiddo is already rocking (say, washing hands after potty and brushing teeth) and the one you want to change (no thumb-sucking at naptime). Next, let your kiddo know that for each day they don’t suck their thumb at naptime, they’ll get a star on their chart. Once they get 10 stars, they’ll be treated to a special reward!

Gossip about your child.

No, we don’t mean you should spread rumors! Instead, when you know your kiddo is in earshot, loudly whisper to another person (or even a stuffed animal!) about how proud you are of your child for the habit they’re trying to break. (Children are more likely to believe praise that’s overheard than if it’s told to them directly—adults, too!) Try saying things like: Marcus has been doing such a good job not sucking his thumb. I’m so proud of him. Or I know it’s hard for Lydia to stop sucking her thumb, but she’s doing so great using her lovey at bedtime instead. Later, repeat the same compliment to someone else. Not only with this please your tot so very much, but it’ll also motivate them to keep working at it!

Enlist helping hands.

For stubborn suckers, the ADA suggests that you help remind your child that their thumb is off limits by gently bandaging their thumb or placing a sock or mitten on the hand at bedtime. In addition, if your child really wants to stop, but requires a constant reminder, talk to your child’s dentist or pediatrician about possibly using a special device for the mouth that makes it uncomfortable for kiddos to continue sucking their thumb.

No matter what methods you choose, remember: The American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents not to put too much pressure on your child to stop. Your child will get there eventually!

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Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.

Help Children Stop Thumbsucking: 9 Tips

Your preschooler won't stop sucking their thumb? Help your child kick the habit for good

Written by Heather Hatfield

Kara Angelone's 3-year-old daughter Addie was a thumb-sucker from day one -- literally. Tucked away in her baby book is an ultrasound image of Addie sucking her thumb in the womb. Now, three years later, she's still not ready to let it go.

"It makes her feel safe and comfortable," Angelone says. "I can tell it helps soothe her because, whenever she feels stressed, in goes the thumb and she calms down in a second."

But should a 3-year-old still be sucking their thumb? Experts in psychology, pediatrics, and pediatric dentistry say there are things parents can do to help their children move past thumb or finger sucking.

Soothing by Thumb Sucking

"Sucking is very natural for babies," pediatrician Robert Anderson says. "It's very common for them to use their thumbs or fingers as part of their routine to find comfort and to soothe themselves."

Within the first few months of life, or even sooner, a baby can become a thumb or finger sucker as a way to fall asleep, to calm down, or to just feel good, Anderson says.

At this stage, not only is thumb or finger sucking common, it is considered harmless in terms of a child's growth and speech development. The questions most parents ask themselves, however, is how long should it go on? Should a child still suck their thumb when they are ready for preschool?

Kids Who Won't Quit Thumb Sucking

"Usually, a child who is in the 2- to 4-year range will start to develop other coping skills beyond thumb or finger sucking, such as language development," says pediatric dentist Mary Hayes.

Hayes says these coping skills replace the need for a child to suck on a thumb or finger. But for some kids, thumb sucking or finger sucking is harder to kick, which could lead to problems for their growing mouths.

"We used to think that as long as a child stopped sucking by the time they developed their permanent teeth there would be minimal impact on the mouth and jaw," Hayes says. "Now, research shows that thumb or finger sucking can have an impact even at a younger age -- as young as 2 to 4 years old."

Hayes, a diplomat and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, says that the sucking puts pressure on the sides of the upper jaw and the soft tissue on the roof of the mouth. As a result, the upper jaw can narrow, causing the teeth to not meet properly from the top to the bottom. Although this can be fixed with braces, it can also cause speech problems such as a lisp that may need to be corrected in therapy.

The long-term effects of thumb or finger sucking don't stop there. If a child has a cross-bite, a condition in which the upper and lower teeth don't meet properly, it can make it worse. A "thumb hole" in the roof of the mouth, which comes from sucking, can cause the teeth in the back of the mouth to take on the brunt of chewing. This causes an imbalance across the teeth and affects the structure of the mouth and jaw as they are growing with the child.

"The trick is to work with the child to lessen her dependency on thumb sucking or finger sucking before the coping skill turns into a habit," Hayes says.

How to Curb the Sucking

When your child reaches the preschool age, it might be tempting to pop their thumb out of their mouth every time they start to suck, especially if you think it might be affecting the growth and development of their teeth and jaw. But you may want to consider resisting that urge and use a different strategy.

"This is a self-soothing activity," family psychologist Jenn Berman says. "It is important to remember that you will not have a child who is going off to college sucking his thumb. It will eventually come to an end."

Adults don't realize how anxiety-provoking growing up is for children, and sucking their thumbs or fingers is a soothing activity that can help reduce their anxiety, Berman says. So if your child is approaching preschool and still sucking away, here's how to handle it correctly:

DO try to limit the time that your child sucks his thumb to his bedroom or in the house, not in public, Berman says. Explain to him that this is a bed activity during nap time and at night.
DON'T turn it into a confrontation. "Don't tell your child, ‘You cannot suck your thumb anymore,'" Anderson says. "Try to recognize him and praise him when he's not sucking his thumb instead of criticizing when he is."
DO talk to your child about their thumb sucking or finger sucking. "Help your child understand that when she is ready to stop, you will be there to help," Berman says. "She will eventually come to you and tell you, ‘Mommy, I don't want to suck my thumb anymore,' because you've empowered her to get there."
DON'T prohibit your child if he tries to suck his thumb or fingers after being hurt or injured. "He needs to be in his comfort zone, and by not letting him go there, you're only traumatizing him more," Berman says.
DO practice self-awareness with your child. "When your child is sucking his thumb, ask him, ‘Do you know you are sucking your thumb now?'" Hayes says. "If he says no, help him recognize that, and find another way to soothe him if he needs it, like a blanket or stuffed animal."
DON'T use the nasty-tasting stuff that is marketed to stop thumb sucking and finger sucking. "It's just cruel," Berman says. "It's pulling the rug out from under your child and that's not fair."
DO come up with creative ways to help your child understand that they are growing up and one day won't suck their thumb anymore. "Ask your child, ‘Do you think Bob the Builder sucks his thumb?'" Hayes says. "Then they'll think about, and start to process whether they want to be sucking their thumbs anymore."
DON'T try a glove or a mitten on the hand as a quick-fix to thumb or finger sucking. "This will just frustrate them and cause more anxiety," Anderson says. "Likely, they're old enough to just take it off, and as a result, they'll just want to suck more. "
DO remember that a child will grow out of the need for thumb sucking or finger sucking when he's good and ready. "While parents may not like it, it's best left alone," Berman says. "Kids will eventually give it up."

Reasons why a child sucks his thumb

From the moment a child is born until the time when he becomes an adult, the life of his parents is a continuous series of exciting happy events and experiences. They first deal with an adorable baby who mostly sleeps and eats. But the baby is growing, and he has certain features. One of the most common childhood habits is perhaps the most incomprehensible to moms and dads: almost all babies suck their thumbs. Why? Let's figure it out. nine0003

Causes of the thumb sucking habit

According to the information provided on the NEN Parent Community website, thumb sucking is an absolutely natural action for a baby. Until a certain age, sucking movements are directly associated with the process of breastfeeding or bottle feeding. By making such movements, the child shows that he is hungry. When a baby begins to explore the world around him, sucking his thumb makes him feel safe. In toddlers, some babies continue to suck on their thumb to calm down or fall asleep faster. nine0003

Impact of thumb sucking on tooth development

The main concern of parents is whether this habit will continue in the child when permanent teeth begin to appear. Thumb sucking can affect a baby's oral development, tooth alignment, and palate formation. However, everything here depends mainly on how actively and often the child sucks his thumb. If the baby just sometimes holds his finger in his mouth, the likelihood of dental problems is much lower than if the child constantly sucks his finger intensively, with considerable effort. nine0003

Should I be worried?

Dentists advise parents to listen to the sound that occurs when the baby takes his finger out of his mouth. Specific cotton indicates that the child sucks his thumb too intensively. You hear a similar but quieter sound when you take a pacifier out of your baby's mouth. It should be noted that pacifier sucking can have the same effects as thumb sucking, but to a lesser extent, as pacifier babies tend to suck less aggressively. Many children themselves give up the habit of sucking their thumbs between the ages of two and four. nine0003

How to wean a child from sucking his thumb

If the child continues to suck his thumb, do not rush to start an uncompromising struggle with this habit. The less categorical your prohibitions are, the easier it will be for the baby to give up this activity, and the problem will disappear by itself. If it doesn't, try the following:

Ask your dentist for information on all oral health issues.
Try to identify the reasons for the persistence of the habit as early as possible. As you already know, some children suck their thumb when they are stressed. Watch your child to understand why he starts to suck his thumb, and then talk to him and eliminate the problem that makes him worried and nervous. nine0030

Many new parents wonder why their children suck their thumbs. You can not worry - this is a completely natural, reflex need, which most often disappears by itself over time. Focus your efforts on caring for your child's teeth as soon as they appear. Use the right baby toothpaste to keep your little one's teeth strong and healthy, no matter how difficult the process of teething and growth is.

The child sucks his thumb, what to do about it? nine0006

After all, many experts warn that a seemingly harmless childhood habit is followed by a chain of unpleasant consequences, such as: malocclusion, infection of the gums, destruction of the enamel on the nail plate, etc.

Parents, realizing what serious consequences this is fraught with, try to wean their children from this pernicious habit at all costs. ...

birth, it can begin to manifest itself from the age of three months, when the baby's need for sucking is very pronounced, and he can already control his own movements so much that he can put his finger in his mouth. If the development of the child is successful, then by the year all this will pass. nine0003

Children can suck not only their thumb, but also other objects. Usually these are the same items. Taking them out of sight, as in the case of sucking a pacifier, you can cause a substitution reaction - the child will simply switch to another thing. Simultaneously with thumb sucking, many babies make some other compulsive movements, for example, you can watch them stroking their ears, picking their nose, licking their lips, or sniffing. Habits of this kind help the child calm down, distract from fears, occupy himself in the absence of attention from parents, their affection and communication. nine0003

Very often, such movements are fixed in the baby as a conditioned reflex. For example, a runny nose that repeats several times a year turns into a habit of sniffing, and drying and cracking lips - to their involuntary licking.

Causes of habit formation.

1. Psychological reasons. If the habit of sucking a finger or other objects does not disappear in the right period, being transferred from early childhood to preschool, or, having disappeared, reappears after three years, this is a signal that the child has mental discomfort. Finger sucking indicates that something is bothering the baby, he is not doing well, and he cannot cope with it on his own. The extreme case is "falling into infancy", i.e. he may partially lose acquired skills, speech becomes more childish. This phenomenon indicates a clear trouble, that the child's psyche suffers. nine0003

The main reasons for the appearance of an obsessive habit: quarrels of parents, constant conflicts, divorce and, as a result, leaving the baby to himself. The lack of children's communication and toys, the severity of parents, constant prohibitions and requirements to behave perfectly can also cause thumb sucking.

2. Residual sucking reflex. The sucking reflex and its important role in the development of the infant was discussed in detail in another of our articles (note "Types of Bad Habits - Pacifier Sucking."), since finger sucking may have a similar cause as pacifier sucking. An unsatisfied sucking reflex, when the mother does not breastfeed the baby enough and at the same time does not give a pacifier, can be expressed in the fact that the child begins to put fingers, toys, corners of a pillow or blanket into her mouth. nine0003

3. Hunger . The reason for sucking fingers can also be feeding the child "by the clock" and the hunger that he may experience in between. This habit from physiological can become permanent, obsessive, if you do not change the child's diet. Thumb sucking is never seen in children who are kept by their mothers at the breast for as long as the baby wants.

4. Teething. Teething becomes a completely natural physiological cause of sucking fingers or other objects in children after six months. The gums begin to itch, teeth form, and the child can begin to eliminate the source of anxiety in this way. But do not allow the baby to pull fingers or foreign objects into his mouth. nine0003

5. Medical reasons. As in the case of constant pacifier sucking, thumb sucking may indicate a weakened state of health, constant colds, the presence of helminthic invasions or neuropathies in the baby, as well as intestinal infections.

Physical and psychological ways to fight the habit

Among the psychological reasons for sucking a thumb or other objects, the most basic is the lack of love from parents, especially mothers. Children feel even a veiled hostility and dissatisfaction with them, as a result of which the understanding comes to them that they are unloved and unwanted children. And this understanding becomes a trigger mechanism that provokes the appearance of a harmful compensatory habit in a child. He unwittingly finds a worthy sedative, which is thumb sucking, for example. By the way, there is an opinion among doctors that sucking a finger with a fetus even before birth indicates an unfavorable course of pregnancy in the mother (anxiety, neurosis, pain). If you look closely at the baby at the moment when he sucks his finger, you can see in action a compensatory mechanism that allows the child to cope with psychological discomfort - while sucking a finger or other object, he seems to forget, covering his eyes, disconnecting from the outside world, maybe even smack with pleasure. For such children, thumb sucking compensates for the lack of attention, reducing their loneliness and inseparability of feelings. nine0003

The only way to get out of this situation is to increase the amount of positive attention paid by parents to the child, caress and warmth when communicating with him. Thus, the baby will not feel unwanted and unloved. The same should be done if parents have communication problems. Quarrels, conflicts, scandals of adults with a child are fertile ground for the appearance of obsessive habits and subsequent neuroses in him. A child who witnesses this behavior may feel guilty about what is happening to his parents. In addition, children are much more charged with the emotions reigning around than adults, and therefore they experience each scandal much more acutely. And for relaxation, they will use what they can - bad habits. nine0003

The main advice for parents whose baby has begun to suck a thumb is not to force the fingers out of the mouth. If the child is breastfed, it is better to extend the feeding to 30-40 minutes so that he can satisfy the sucking reflex and be with his mother. Usually the baby manages to drink all the milk from the mother's breast in 10 minutes, the remaining time he just enjoys being next to her, in safety and straining the milk drop by drop. Thus, by stretching the feeding, you can avoid the fact that the child pulls the handle into his mouth. nine0003

With artificial feeding, this method of increasing the feeding time also pays off. Usually, when bottle-feeding, the baby drinks everything in the same 10 minutes. But the nipple wears out over time, and the baby grows and becomes stronger, because of this, feeding time may decrease. Therefore, in order to stretch the feeding time, you need to change the nipples, make sure that the hole in it is small. Then the child will have to work hard to drink milk, thereby satisfying his sucking reflex. nine0003

In addition, the number of feedings and their time should not be reduced if the baby has been observed to be thumb sucking. You can distract him by holding him. A child at this age looks very carefully at the face of the mother, so you can support him in your arms for a longer time. If the baby cannot fall asleep without a finger or a pacifier in his mouth, it is necessary that the mother sit next to the bed, talk calmly with the child before going to bed, hold his hands for a while so that he cannot put his fingers in his mouth, calm down and fall asleep. nine0003

The older the child, the more difficult it is to wean him from sucking his thumb. Along with increased tender attention, one should try to instill confidence in the child in his own strength, placing on him small duties that he is able to cope with under the guidance of his parents. In preschool children, the habit of sucking or chewing something may be associated with increased anxiety and a state of fear. Therefore, first of all, parents need to find out the cause of nervous discomfort in the child and eliminate it. For example, child psychologist Milton Erickson helped a six-year-old kid cope with thumb sucking and nail biting in this way: he told the child's parents in his presence that not all parents understand what babies need. That every kid at the age of 6 should suck his finger and bite his nails, and that he can and even needs to suck his finger and bite his nails for his own pleasure, as all youngsters wish. But when he becomes a big adult boy of 7 years old, then sucking his thumb and biting his nails will already be awkward for him, not that age. Thus, having inspired the boy with self-confidence, the psychologist saved him from this habit, since the boy waited for his seventh birthday (which came after 2 months, he gave up this habit.

Everyone knows such a feature of babies as a tendency to imitate adults. Seeing that mom paints her nails, almost all children, even boys, ask to paint them too. Having shown a creative approach to the issue, you can come up with a game for the child in the “hairdresser's”, but with one condition that the nails of the little “visitor” should remain beautiful and well-groomed until his next visit to the “hairdresser's”. In this way, you can influence the baby's habit of pulling boys into his mouth.

Physically, it is possible to influence the habit of sucking a child's finger, which is just beginning, in several ways. For example, if the baby has no allergies, put fluffy mittens on his hands. Having tried to chew suddenly hairy fingers, the child will stop pulling them into his mouth after a while. In addition, you can make cardboard tubes 10-15 cm long, which can be put on the baby's elbows. They will prevent the arms from bending, and after a few sessions, the child will also stop putting his finger in his mouth. nine0003

If the cause of thumb sucking is hunger, therefore, the child's diet should be reviewed so that during breaks he does not put his fingers in his mouth. In addition, sometimes the cause of thumb sucking is the problem of a sunken nipple, due to which the baby cannot eat normally, and, as a result, swallows air, burps, and is naughty. And then he calms down by sucking his thumb. To prevent this situation and combat sticky nipples, you need to equalize the pressure inside the bottle and outside it. To do this, in the upper wide part of the nipple, you need to make a hole where a clean, narrow cocktail tube is inserted. Each time you will need to use a new clean straw. This method will allow the baby to suck out milk without swallowing air or spitting up. The sucking reflex will thus be satisfied, and the fingers will no longer attract the child. nine0003

In addition to thumb sucking, children develop the habit of holding their fingers in their mouths. The mechanism of this sucking habit is somewhat different from that of pacifier or finger sucking, but does not stand out in a separate category. This habit is very stable, it can haunt a person all his life, manifesting itself in stressful periods of his life in a mild form - a person can simply keep part of his finger in his mouth, focusing on some thought and not thinking about external behavior.

The reason for this habit is internal discomfort, which can provoke any stimulus. Children in this way can express their protest against the inattention of their parents, the fact that they are left alone for a long time. Or they are tormented by an unsolvable question for children's consciousness. nine0003

The best cure for this habit is the attention of adults. Talk to your baby before bed. Calm and gentle communication from day to day will help relieve tension in the child, he will become calmer and will not be so excitable in the evening before bedtime.

In addition, children may keep their fingers in their mouths out of boredom. And in this case, the child needs to be occupied with something interesting, distracted, given an entertaining task. For example, buy a clay whistle and talk about the traditions of Ancient Rus', about a holiday called Whistle, when children and adults devoted several spring days to what they made, decorated with ribbons and gave clay whistles to each other and whistled in them. nine0003

A child can also be influenced verbally. For example, before a long separation (kindergarten), you can kiss all the fingers of the child and ask him to keep the whole kiss. Of course, it needs to be clarified that washing hands before eating will not wash away kisses.

The habit of holding a finger in the mouth can also be an indication of the baby's jealousy of a brother or sister. The child may be dissatisfied with this, try to attract increased attention to himself to make sure that the parents still love him. Therefore, he can curl up, keep his finger in his mouth, pretending that he is still very small and very much in need of them. In such a situation, the child must be treated with understanding, to convince him that he is still loved, and the youngest child is not his competitor in the struggle for parental attention. nine0003

If a child holds his finger in his mouth before falling asleep, it means that he is tense, excited, trying to cope with his condition. To get rid of this habit, parents must put him to bed, tell a good story that will not excite the baby with colorful details, but, on the contrary, will calm him down. If the child is not self-confident, then you can praise him, tell him what good things he did that day, while gently holding his hand so that he does not pull it into his mouth. Such gentle constant parental care will certainly give results, and the tension will release the child after a while. nine0003

The material was prepared according to: Yu.V. Potapova, M.P. Shatalin Crises of childhood: obsessive habits in children.

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Abahaba is a family club where children and parents have fun and enjoy their time. Creativity, communication, exciting activities and family weekends, here everyone will find what he likes. We offer ample opportunities for the development and education of children, the smallest crumbs can attend early development programs, and older children can attend developmental classes and creative studios. Each meeting is an opportunity to express yourself, reveal your abilities and enrich your inner world, and a pleasant atmosphere and professional teachers will make your stay in the club bright and unforgettable. nine0003

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