When to announce pregnancy on social media

When to Announce a Pregnancy: A Different Opinion

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Here’s my unpopular opinion about when to announce a pregnancy. I don’t think you should wait until 12 weeks!

In fact, I don’t think you should follow any set rules at all. Because pregnancy is real and raw and scary. And it’s personal how you handle it, just like the choices you make through your entire parenting journey are yours and no one else’s.

I experienced 4 miscarriages before having my son, Jack. That means I’ve been pregnant 5 times. And throughout that time, my opinions about when to announce pregnancy have changed drastically.

I’ve learned, grown, walked through the fire, and come out the other side with a completely different opinion than I had before.

In this article, I’m going to talk about why the timeline of announcing a pregnancy is your choice entirely, and how to decide what’s right for you. If you want someone to outline a timeline to make it easy, then this article isn’t for you.

But if you’re looking to better understand yourself and what will work for your own needs, then read on, friend. I’ve got you covered.

Here, we’ll talk about:

Why a “safe” date shouldn’t necessarily be your concern
How to determine what timeline is right for you
When to announce a pregnancy to parents and immediate family
When to announce pregnancy at work
When to announce pregnancy on social media

When announcing a pregnancy, we love seeing people post graphics instead of more traditional pregnancy announcements, as they tend to be less triggering to friends experiencing infertility or miscarriage.

Why is 12 weeks safe to announce a pregnancy?

Many women choose to announce their pregnancies at or after 12 weeks because this when the risk of miscarriage drops significantly. At this point, they’ve usually had an early pregnancy ultrasound scan, and the 12-week mark is when we’re traditionally told it’s safe to share the news.

We’ve all seen the memes going around in the month of October announcing, “I am 1 in 4.” These messages are a reminder of what most pregnant women already know (but many avoid trying to wrap their brains around)–that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.

But while the risk of miscarriage is 20-25% at the time of implantation, many losses occur before the mother even knows she’s pregnant. At 12 weeks, the risk drops to 1-2%.

This is why many people wait to tell.

How waiting to announce can be hurtful

When I learned I was pregnant for the first time, after a year-and-a-half of trying to conceive (TTC), I insisted we wait until 12 weeks to announce the pregnancy. Husband wanted to tell our parents, but it wasn’t “safe” yet, I insisted.

When I found out the pregnancy wasn’t viable at 8 ½ weeks (read more about that experience in my blighted ovum story), I experienced an unexpected awkwardness that I was not at all prepared for.

Not only was my heart shattered into millions of confused and jagged little pieces, but I now had to explain what was happening to people who not only had no idea I was pregnant, but who also didn’t know I’d spent a-year-and-a-half struggling to conceive.

How do you break the news of miscarriage to people who didn’t know you were pregnant?

I called my mom–while my dad was in surgery, to boot–sobbing hysterically, to tell her I was losing a desperately wanted baby when she still thought I didn’t want children.

I realized then that I’d been keeping secrets for far too long. No one knew we were trying to conceive. No one knew when we were pregnant. But when I found out I was miscarrying, I needed support, so I told everyone.

It may sound counterintuitive, but many women who have experienced pregnancy loss actually choose to announce new pregnancies early.

It’s not because we think we’re immune to miscarriage. It’s actually the opposite. It’s that we know that safe isn’t really “safe,” even if it’s “safer. ” And because we know that we’re going to need a support system if things do go wrong.

When to announce a pregnancy to different people

Here’s what I really want you to know, and it probably isn’t something you want to hear. There is actually a chance that you will miscarry, though this chance truly reduces with each passing week of pregnancy.

When I insisted to Husband that we not tell anyone we were pregnant because we weren’t “safe” yet, I never actually thought we had any chance of losing that pregnancy, let alone the 3 following ones.

I’d actually joked to Tessa, of of two friends I’d told about my pregnancy, that October was the WORST time to find out you’re pregnant because you’re bombarded with all these 1 in 4 announcements reminding you of the risk of miscarriage.

Yet, I never internalized that risk. I never imagined it.

And what I didn’t know at the time was that these women were not posting memes about their losses to make me feel bad for them.

They were doing it to help me, and other women like me!

They wanted us to be prepared, to know the risks, and to make decisions accordingly. I didn’t listen, and it caused me a lot of pain.

If something goes wrong, who will you turn to for support?

When deciding when to announce a pregnancy, this question is key.

The odds are that your pregnancy will be healthy.

But if it’s not and something goes wrong, who will you turn to for support? These are the people I recommend announcing a pregnancy to early.

That way, if all turns out well, they can celebrate with you along the way. But if it doesn’t, they’re prepared and available to help.

Announcing to parents, immediate family, and close friends

Choosing when to share the news of your pregnancy different family members and close friends can be tricky due to relationship dynamics.

Will one person be offended if you tell someone else, but not them? (If so, they likely won’t be one of your best support people anyway. )

Do you risk someone spilling the beans and telling others you don’t want to know?

There are lots of questions to consider. But ultimately, determining who is closest to you who can actually support you both through pregnancy and potential complications will help you figure out who to tell earliest.

By the time I was pregnant with Jack, I told everyone I was emotionally close to early. The first person I told was my dad, and I chose him because I knew my mom would be excited, and I was too guarded to be excited.

I told him that I wanted him to tell my mom, but that she wasn’t allowed to call me until she could contain her excitement and not use words like, “This time will be different.”

It’s not that I didn’t want my mom to know first–I did. But I also knew her personality, and that she’s a glass half full kind of woman, and I did not need that.

I needed the people around me to know specifically for the sake of support.

For everyone else, I sent a text that went something like this. “Well, here we go again. Pregnant and going to the doctor every 2 days for bloodwork. Terrified, not excited. If I’m not myself for a while, you know why. Thank you for being there for me.”

The tone of the text managed everyone’s expectations and told them how I needed them to react. And this time, although they were all cautiously supportive, we finally got to celebrate having a baby!

At work

Announcing at work is complicated for a number of reasons, but there are a few questions I encourage you to consider:

What is the hierarchy of people you need to tell? (Your boss should never hear the news through the grapevine. They should always hear it from you first!)
Will you want work to know if you miscarry? (If so, you can announce your pregnancy earlier so they’re prepared for that possibility and more likely to be able to grant you time off. This can also make returning to work after loss easier.)
Are there laws in your state about when to tell your employer and, if so, what are they? (Many states require at least 15 weeks notice before delivery. )

In my experience, most women do not choose to announce a pregnancy at work until they’re well past the “safe” period. Most wait until their baby bump is becoming difficult to hide.

The major exception tends to be women who experience severe morning sickness–they tend to tell work earlier.

There’s no right or wrong answer here–the only way to make a bad choice about telling work is to let your boss find out from someone else.

When I was pregnant with Jack, I waited until 24 weeks (the point of “viability”) to announce on social media. If you saw me in person, you’d known for a long time because I was showing very early.

The reason I chose to wait for social media was because I knew it would be a celebratory response, and I simply wasn’t ready for that. I could prepare people in my daily life for the fact that I was terrified, and they would react accordingly. But on social media, people are going to congratulate you, and I just couldn’t take it.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t tell sooner. If we choose to try again and are lucky enough to be successful, I will likely announce immediately. Because I’m an open book on social media and I’ll want people following along with me. But that wasn’t my situation 3 ½ years ago.

When you announce on social media, be prepared for congratulations, but also make it clear why you’re announcing. If you just want to celebrate, awesome. But if you want people to know you’re announcing but still cautious, tell them that!

Also, I encourage you to be really mindful of others when making your announcement. Seeing a pregnancy announcement can be really hurtful to women experiencing infertility or miscarriage. That isn’t to take away your joy–you deserve your joy–but to say to be thoughtful in your words and images.

For Jack, I posted a photo of a onesie specifically because ultrasound photos and positive pregnancy tests had been hard for me to see for so many years. People who were struggling noticed the care I took, and they thanked me for it.

In terms of when to tell, it’s up to you. Know yourself and your needs. I will say this, though. If you would not announce a miscarriage on social media, then waiting until the second trimester is probably smart.

The only right time is your time

There is no right time to announce a pregnancy. There is only your time. Know yourself, know your people, and make choices accordingly.

This parenting journey is going to require a lot of decision making, and nothing will serve you better than getting to know yourself and your needs and learning to trust yourself to make the best decisions for YOU.

I promise, you can do this!

A couple holding hands announcing their pregnancy with tiny booties–such a sweet, cute way to announce a pregnancy on social media!

General FAQ

Can you announce pregnancy at 12 weeks?

You can announce your pregnancy anytime you want. Many people wait until 12 weeks because the miscarriage risk drops to between 1-2%. But telling people earlier can allow them to better support you if something goes wrong.

When should I announce my pregnancy on Facebook?

Announce your pregnancy on social media when you feel ready. Ask yourself if you’d announce on social media if you were to miscarry. If not, it’s probably best to wait until the second trimester. If so, then announce anytime!

When should you tell your employer you are pregnant?

See if there are laws in your state, as some require you to announce a pregnancy at least 15 weeks before your due date. Otherwise, choose the most appropriate time given your personal dynamics with your boss. Always announce to your boss first!

What was your choice about when to announce a pregnancy?

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Katy Huie Harrison, PhD( Author )

Katy Huie Harrison, PhD, is an author, mom, recurrent miscarriage survivor, & owner of Undefining Motherhood. She lives in Atlanta with her husband (affectionately known on the internet as “Husband,”) son (Jack), and dog (Charlotte). She believes our society puts too many expectations on women that make womanhood and motherhood restrictive. Her goal is to shift the paradigm about what it means to be a woman and mother, giving all women a greater sense of agency over their own lives. You can find Katy and her work featured in places like CNN’s Headline News, Romper, Scary Mommy, Demeter Press’s Motherhood and Social Exclusion, & more.

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How and When to Announce Your Pregnancy on the Internet

Excited to share with the (virtual) world that you have a bun in the oven?

Deciding when and how to announce your impending arrival on social media can be as difficult a decision as when to reveal it to your nearest and dearest in person. And when it comes to social announcements, it’s not just about getting the most likes.

Parents-to-be used to consider whether they should make their big baby reveals in person, over the phone or even by letter. While those ways might seem archaic today, a lot of the same principles can be applied to your social media announcement.

What

Whether you choose to honor older siblings too, make a super-pinnable announcement or follow Queen Bey on to the top of a vintage car, just make sure that reflects you and the family you are trying to build.

When

Social media is all about timing, but the bigger consideration is at what point in your pregnancy do you want to reveal you’ve got a bun in the oven? At 10 weeks pregnant with barely a visible bump? Or do you want to wait to show off your big and beautiful belly when you’re six months along?

Think about whether you want to keep your pregnancy a secret and give everyone a massive surprise right before your delivery. As with other kinds of pregnancy announcements, most people like to wait at least until after the first trimester so if they experience a miscarriage they can have the option of keeping it quiet.

Don’t forget to think about who you want to tell in person and who you want to see the news first on social media. Your parents would probably like the exciting news that they’re going to be grandparents to be delivered in person or at least over the phone.

It also isn’t the best idea to have work find out via social media, so factor when you’re going to tell your boss and HR. Even if you don’t have your work on your social media profiles, there is a potential that they could still see the announcement. Everyone is always a friend of a friend.

When it comes down to the nitty-gritty of what actual time you’re going to post, consider if you want to be around to respond to people directly. Be prepared: this will be one of the most liked and commented things you’ve ever done online.

Posting your pregnancy announcement on your commute probably isn’t the best idea, unless you want to be distracted at work all day. Same goes for posting it on a day when you have a ton of appointments to go to. Weekends are normally a safe bet for everyone when they’re not distracted by work, school, and getting supper on the table by 6.

If you’ve got an international group of friends, try and think when is the optimal time to post so they can see your pregnancy announcement soon after it’s sent instead of waking up and seeing the news on someone else’s feed.

How

Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. There are almost as many different social media platforms as there are types of strollers. Don’t feel that you have to do a separate pregnancy reveal on each one. Stick to the networks you use on a regular basis. Consider the ones where you chat with the people who you really want to know.

And think about maximum impact. Instagram Stories and Snapchat are great, but people who are on social media detoxes or those who don’t religiously check their networking sites might miss your “bun in the oven” announcement if it’s only live for a short window. If you’re a Twitter devotee, you might also want to consider pinning your post to the top of the page so it doesn’t get lost amid your 20 other tweets about being out of milk, the weather, and how stressful your commute was.

To go private or not? That is the question. It will depend on what social media network you want to make your reveal, but is important to think about whether you want everyone to potentially see it or only a select group of people. Would you and your partner be alright if your announcement went viral? Or do you prefer to keep things private between you and your closest 500 friends on your network?

And while we’re on the topic of viral posts, don’t feel pressured for the post to be the cutest thing on the internet. There are lots of baby essentials, and a viral pregnancy announcement isn’t one of them. You shouldn’t even feel pressured to come up with something “clever” or “funny.” You’re having a baby and that is already amazing in of itself. Of course, if you want to get creative and express your and your partner’s personalities with your announcement, go for it. Just remember that the key is to have fun with it.

This information is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. We do not accept any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from any information or advice contained here. Babylist may earn compensation from affiliate links in this content. Learn more about how we write Babylist content and the Babylist Health Advisory Board.

How to report pregnancy in an original way

Reviewer Kovtun Tatyana Anatolievna

63982 views

September 21, 2021

nine0005

Have you just found out you're expecting a baby? Congratulations! In this article - a portion of inspiration and ideas on how to share the news with your loved one, parents and friends, if you have a desire to make it bright and unforgettable. And you are sure that your loved ones are ready for any surprises and will be able to support the game.

Idea #1

Kinder with a surprise

It takes a little dexterity. Buy two kinder surprises for yourself and your loved one. Carefully open one package, and in order not to leave marks on the chocolate, use medical gloves. Carefully divide the chocolate egg into two halves, and instead of a toy, put a note with the cherished message: “You will become a dad!”. The halves can be connected with a hot knife: touch the chocolate edges with it and quickly connect. Eat kinders together so as not to arouse suspicion. nine0005

Idea #2

Quest for the apartment

Prepare a map of your home and mark checkpoints where you can hide candy or some cute gifts for your loved one. The final point should be a corner, in which there will be an envelope or a box with an ultrasound image.

Idea #3

Scratch cards for relatives

A postcard with a special layer that can be erased with a coin can bring good news to a future dad, grandma or grandpa. Have you seen these on lottery tickets? Here the same principle. A very delicate and neat way to start a friendly meeting or family gatherings. nine0005

Idea #4

Plate with message

Find on the Internet or make yourself a plate, at the bottom of which it will be written: "We are expecting a baby!". Disguise the inscription with a piece of cake. Indelible permanent marker or acrylic paint may work well for writing on ceramics - experiment beforehand.

Idea #5

Personalized mugs

Give your parents mugs with the inscriptions: “Grandma (name)”, “Grandfather (name)”. We are sure that tea from them will be much tastier to drink. nine0005

Idea #6

Head of cabbage

Here is another original way to inform parents about pregnancy. Surely you go to the store before the visit - add a head of cabbage in sliders to the usual set of products and put it in the bag as if nothing had happened.

Idea #7

During a group photo

If you often take pictures with the whole family, this method is for you. Take control of the process, and instead of the "photo" mode, quietly turn on the "video" mode and shoot without giving a look. Start the report: “One, two, and the NAME OF THE FUTURE MOTHER is pregnant!”. The video will keep the sincere emotions of your loved ones. nine0005

Idea #8

Pizza with a message

Also donuts or cakes. For this method, any food that is delivered in a box with a lid is suitable. On the inside of the lid, beautifully write the main news and wait for the box to open.

Idea #9

Gift box

A touching way to please future grandparents. Put some attribute related to your parents' hobby in a beautiful box. For example, if your mother is fond of knitting, then in the box you can put a skein of yarn and a postcard with the message: “Will you knit socks for your granddaughter?”. And if your dad is a fisherman, then the box may contain a set of tackle with a note: “Will you take your grandson fishing?” nine0005

Idea #10

Posted by Aista

Discreetly rename your name in the contacts of a loved one to "Stork". For example, before he leaves for work or shopping. And then - send a message with the text: “Already on the way! The weather is normal, I will be back in 8 months.”

Reviewer Kovtun Tatyana Anatolievna nine0005

Scientific adviser to PROGRESS JSC, Candidate of Medical Sciences

All articles of the expert

October 23, 2013, 09:09

October 23, 2013, 09:12

23 October 2013, 09:14

9000 #4 9000

23 October 23, 2013, 09:18

There is a "clinic" in general. . Waiter Brake "......

October 23, 2013, 09:19

23 23, 2013, 09:26

#9,0005

Andryukha St. Petersburg

Well, a person, a person, a person impressionable and some kind of event ...

There is a "clinic" in general. I'm in a cafe". Waiter brake ......

October 23, 2013, 09:26

#10

Andryukha Pitersky

Well, it's okay, an impressionable person and some kind of event ...

There are generally "clinics" and twitters commenting on everything, ala "I'm riding a minibus", "I got out here the wind", "I want to go to a cafe", "I'm in a cafe." Brake waiter......0005

October 23, 2013, 09:29

#13

October 23, 2013, 09:35

#14

23 October 2013, 09:37

9000 #15 9000 9000 23 23 23 October 23 October 23 October 23 2013, 09:39

#16

October 23, 2013, 09:45

#17

he is for those 10-15 people (relatives and close friends) who are really interested in looking at my child, who ask to post his pictures. nine0005

And voila

October 23, 2013, 09:46

#18

Guest

This is all from a little mind, the author.

October 23, 2013, 09:47

#19

Guest

boredom. 100 times already discussed mothers and social networks

October 23, 2013, 09:48

#20

When I gave birth, I understood these mothers who post 20,000 photos of their baby. Your child seems so beautiful that you want to share directly with the whole world, show his every smile. BUT! I didn’t lose my memory, I remembered how embarrassing the endless pictures were, in my opinion, the same))). Or they will give you the baby's phone to show - and go ahead, scroll until you are numb. nine0005

And with this in mind, I made an album, where, firstly, there are a few photos, and secondly, it is available to those 10-15 people (relatives and close friends) who are really interested in looking at my child, who ask to post it pics.

and voila

October 23, 2013, 09:50

#21

23 October 2013, 09:52

#22

Guest

I understood, when they gave birth to these, which will post 20,000 pictures of your baby. Your child seems so beautiful that you want to share directly with the whole world, show his every smile. BUT! I didn’t lose my memory, I remembered how embarrassing the endless pictures were, in my opinion, the same))). Or they will give you the baby's phone to show - and go ahead, scroll until you are numb. nine0005

October 23, 2013, 09:53

#23

Guest

Oh, what a diagnostician)

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Oct 23, 2013 9:57 AM

#25

October 23, 2013, 09:57

#26

It's so scary, my friend posted it, posted it. .. gave birth at 28 weeks, the baby died.

And then she roared that for a long time numerous contact friends asked her who she gave birth to, what they called ... simply awful.

I didn't post any pregnant pictures. I did a photo session, but everything was left for me, my husband and family0002 For the evening of meetings, a classmate brought 3 photos of her daughter, she is not in social networks at all - the girl is like a doll. so beautiful, even write a portrait. Just a toy child. October 23, 2013

Oh, what a diagnostician) I'll even say more: From a small mind and an excess of free time.

The whole world is posting their life on the social network. It's a lifestyle.

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October 23, 2013, 09:59 I am not interested in reading phrases like "I would fuck her" and other jokes in the comments to children's photos.

October 23, 2013, 10:00 am

#30

Guest

for example, I don't post pictures of children on social networks, so as not to please pedophiles and maniacs of various kinds. I am not interested in reading phrases like "I would fuck her" and other jokes in the comments to children's photos. October 23, 2013 Oh, what a diagnostician) I will even say more: From a small mind and an excess of free time.

Stop it. The whole world is posting their life on social media. It's a lifestyle. nine0005

Not all)))) I assure you! October 23, 2013

October 23, 2013, 10:01 am

#33

Guest

Guest When I gave birth, I understood these mothers who post 20,000 photos of their baby. Your child seems so beautiful that you want to share directly with the whole world, show his every smile. BUT! I didn’t lose my memory, I remembered how embarrassing the endless pictures were, in my opinion, the same))). Or they will give you the baby's phone to show - and go ahead, scroll until you are numb. nine0005

And voila As a rule, they suffer from a mania to uncontrollably show everyone pictures of their treasure, mothers of such Crocodiles... You look and think: the street is full of beautiful children, one of the other is more beautiful, how did you give birth to such a goblin? By the way, yes... I remember coming to a friend, she had a six-month-old girl. And at this age - transitional or something - they are soooo ugly. Horror! And she told me, "Look, what a beauty, what a pretty!". I was horrified: the baby has three hairs on its head, huge eyes with whites of the eyes, a huge head. Well, that's it at this age they are fearful. Right now, she's a pretty girl. But at that moment I understood that mothers simply had something in their brains changing and they did not see REALITY. nine0005

October 23, 2013, 10:01 am

#34

GuestGuest

This is all from a little mind, the author.

Oh, what a diagnostician) I'll even say more: From a little mind and an excess of free time. Stop it.

The whole world is posting their life on the social network. It's a lifestyle.

October 23, 2013, 10:02 am

#35

Andryukha Pitersky

Well, now there are only "trolls" all around... Like having fun

October 23, 2013, 10:02 am

#36

Well, there is a VKontakte page, but not a single photo. October 23, 2013 Oh, what a diagnostician) I’ll even say more: From a little mind and an excess of free time. Stop it. The whole world is posting their life on social media. It's a lifestyle.

No, not the whole, but only a certain segment of the population:)

October 23, 2013, 10:03 am

#38

Guest

Interestingly, members of the forum, but what would you say about a girl, a woman who does not have a single photo in the social. networks?

Well, there is a VKontakte page, but not a single photo.

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October 23, 2013, 10:04

#39

23 October 2013, 10:04

#40,0005

Guest

Interestingly, members of the forum, but what would you say about a girl, a woman who does not have a single photo in the social. networks?

Well, there is a VKontakte page, but not a single photo. October 23, 2013 Oh, what a diagnostician) I will even say more: From a small mind and an excess of free time.

Stop it. The whole world is posting their life on social media. It's a lifestyle. ALL????? nine0005

Not all)))) I assure you!

October 23, 2013, 10:04

#42

Guest

Interestingly, members of the forum, but what would you say about a girl, a woman who does not have a single photo in the social. networks? Well, there is a VKontakte page, but not a single photo.

These photos may simply be hidden from the majority.

October 23, 2013, 10:04 am

#43

I haven't seen;)0082

#44

Guest

Interesting, members of the forum, but what would you say about a girl, a woman who does not have a single photo in the social. networks?

No, not the whole, but only a certain segment of the population :) +1000

October 23, 2013, 10:05

#46

Guest

networks, I would post photos “this is me with a car”, “this is me in Turkey - a 5-star hotel!”, “this is my daughter, a little girl, she is 1 month old”, etc.

I haven't seen;)

October 23, 2013, 10:06 am

#47

Guest

Have you seen at least one director of a large holding, a successful businessman, who would post photos on social networks "this is me with a car", "this is me in Turkey - a 5-star hotel!", "this is my little girl, she is 1 month old" etc.