What to expect when having a baby
Bringing Your Baby Home (for Parents)
Whether your baby comes home from the hospital right away, arrives later (perhaps after a stay in the neonatal intensive care unit), or comes through an adoption agency, the homecoming of your little one is a major event you've probably often imagined. Here's how to be prepared.
Leaving the Hospital
Moms-to-be sometimes pack clothes for the trip home before even going to the hospital — or they may wait to see what the weather brings and have their partner bring clothing for both themselves and the baby. Plan to bring loose-fitting clothing for yourself with a drawstring or elastic waist because you most likely won't fit into your pre-pregnancy outfits yet.
Babies are often overdressed for the first trip home. Dress your baby as you would dress yourself. So, if you'd be too warm in a knitted hat during the summer, your baby probably will be, too.
In warm weather, dress your baby in a T-shirt and light cotton pants or a baby blanket over bare legs. If it's cold, put footie pajamas, a hat, and warm blanket over your baby. But be sure to keep all blankets far from your baby's face to avoid suffocation.
Chances are much better that you'll bring home a calm, contented baby if you don't spend a lot of time at the hospital trying to dress your newborn in a complicated outfit that requires pushing and pulling your baby's arms and legs.
If you haven't already made the arrangements with your baby's health care provider, make sure to ask when the baby's first checkup should be scheduled before you leave the hospital. Depending on the circumstances, some premature babies also go home with a special monitor for checking breathing and heart rate, and you may be taught infant cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
But whether your baby is full-term or premature, don't feel rushed out the door — have your questions answered before you leave the hospital. And if you find yourself wondering about anything — from bathing to breastfeeding to burping — ask your nurse, lactation consultant, or your baby's doctor.
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The Car Trip
The most important item for the trip home is a proper child safety seat (car seat). Every state requires parents to have one before leaving the hospital because it's one of the best ways to protect your baby.
Even for a short trip, it's never safe for one of you to hold your baby in your arms while the other drives. Your baby could be pulled from your arms and thrown against the dashboard by a quick stop.
Consider buying, renting, or borrowing a car seat before your baby's born, when you have time to choose carefully. There are two kinds of car seats for babies: infant-only seats (which must be replaced when your baby weighs 22 to 35 pounds, depending on the type of seat) and convertible seats that accommodate both infants and older children.
Infant-only seats are designed for rear-facing use only and fit infants better than convertible seats. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that infants and toddlers ride in a rear-facing seat until they are 2 years old or until they have reached the maximum weight and height limits recommended by the manufacturer. (If your baby exceeds the weight recommended by the manufacturer before the second birthday, you'll need to use a convertible seat designed for bigger babies.)
Some parents of newborns find that a "travel system" (which includes a stroller and an infant-only car seat that can be attached to the stroller) makes it much smoother to transition babies — especially sleeping ones — from the car to the stroller.
Convertible seats face toward the rear until your baby is at least 2 years old or has reached the maximum weight and height limits recommended by the manufacturer. A child who reaches the height and weight limits before age 2 is safest in a bigger convertible seat and kept rear facing. Kids who are small can remain in rear-facing seats even after age 2. (Follow the manufacturer's guidelines for when to turn the seat.)
Never put a rear-facing infant or convertible seat in the front seat of your car — always use the rear seat. Passenger-side airbags in the front seat cabin are hazardous for both rear- and forward-facing car seats, and most accidents happen at the front passenger area of the car. When it's cold, strap your baby in snugly first, then put blankets over the baby.
If you borrow a car seat, make sure that it's not more than 6 years old and was never in a crash (even if it looks OK, it could be structurally unsound). Avoid seats that are missing parts or aren't labeled with the manufacture date and model number (you'll have no way to know about recalls).
Also, check the seat for the manufacturer's recommended "expiration date." If you have any doubts about the seat's history, or if it's cracked or shows signs of wear and tear, don't use it.
Ask at your prenatal classes, health care provider's office, hospital, or insurance company about rental or loan programs for car seats — they're quite common.
When buying a new seat, it's important to remember that there isn't one type of seat that's safest or best; get one that fits and can be correctly installed in your car. And higher price doesn't necessarily indicate a seat's quality — it could simply mean the seat has added features that you may or may not want or use. Also, be sure to register your new seat so you can be notified of any problems or recalls.
The most common problem involving car seats is improper installation. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, the majority of all car seats are installed incorrectly. LATCH (Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children) is a system that makes it easier to install car seats. It uses built-in hooks to connect the seat to anchoring hardware in the car. Even though LATCH is standard in the United States, many seats are still improperly installed.
Don't trust illustrations or store displays. Follow the manufacturer's instructions (and keep them handy). Ask your doctor or nurse about local resources where your car seat can be checked by someone specifically trained to evaluate car seat installations. Many hospitals, police and fire stations, and even car dealerships offer this type of service for free. Make sure that the evaluation is done by someone trained and experienced.
If you're bringing your baby home from the intensive care unit, bring the car seat to the hospital ahead of time, so the staff can see if it will work for your baby. If special health concerns rule out a standard restraint, ask your child's doctor to recommend car seats for children with special needs.
For more information on the proper use of child safety seats, read our article on auto safety.
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First-Time Feelings
Don't be surprised if you have mixed emotions as you bring your baby home, especially if this is your first child. You'll likely be nervous. In fact, you may actually feel terrified as you realize that you've given up a certain amount of control over your life.
If your baby wasn't with you much at the hospital, you may not know what sort of schedule your little bundle of joy will keep. But you'll know before long — although babies' schedules do change a lot during those early months. You'll be less stressed if you don't overschedule yourself and can go with the flow.
Depending upon your labor and delivery experience, you may feel physically drained and sore. Your hormones may be struggling to catch up, too. Meanwhile, your partner may feel a little left out if you're totally engrossed with the baby.
You might have other kids awaiting the arrival of this newest family member. Or you may be dealing with a pet who's wondering what's suddenly drawn everyone's attention. And the expectations of new grandparents, competitive siblings, or friends can also make the homecoming stressful.
Your baby's first extended crying period at home will be difficult. Remember: young babies typically cry for 1 to 5 hours within a 24-hour period, and can't always be calmed. Crying usually decreases gradually after the first several weeks. Although it may seem impossible now, in a few months it will be difficult to recall your baby's seemingly endless crying episodes.
The Home Front
Introducing your baby to others at home can be challenging. If you have other kids, be sure to spend some quality time with each of them. Some parents bring home gifts from the new baby for big brothers and sisters. At first, you can expect some jealousy, especially if the main focus of your attention for several years suddenly has new competition. Encourage siblings to "help" you care for this newest family member.
If you have a pet, ask your partner to bring home a blanket with the baby's scent on it and place it near the pet — even before leaving the hospital. Then, when you come home, the pet will already be somewhat familiar with the baby. But remember to never leave pets alone with newborns.
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Family and Friends
Ask your partner to be the gatekeeper for visitors and to limit the number of guests at first. You'll be glad later on if you take some time now to rest and become comfortable with your new situation. Although babies typically aren't shy around strangers for the first 3 months or so, they may become overstimulated and tired if too many people are around.
If you have voice mail or a telephone answering machine, consider changing your message to give the vital statistics of your new arrival. You might say something like: "Our newest family member has arrived. Her name is Julia Marie; she was born on Tuesday, and weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces. We're all fine and adjusting to our new life. If you'd like us to call you back when it's convenient, please leave your name and number." You can also set up an automatic email response with this information.
Don't be shy about accepting visitors slowly. Ask anyone who's ill to wait until they're feeling well and no longer contagious before they visit. You shouldn't hesitate to ask visitors to wash their hands before holding your baby because a newborn baby's immune system is not fully developed.
When to Call the Doctor
Your baby's health care provider expects calls from new parents on many topics, including breastfeeding and health concerns (for more on newborn care, visit the Pregnancy & Newborns section). They'd rather have you call than worry about something needlessly.
If you wonder whether you should call the doctor's office, do it, especially if you see something unexpected or different that concerns you. Call if you see any of these signs:
- rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher (in babies younger than 2 months)
- symptoms of dehydration (crying without tears, sunken eyes, a depression in the soft spot on baby's head, no wet diapers in 6 to 8 hours)
- a soft spot that bulges when your baby's quiet and upright
- a baby that is difficult to rouse
- rapid or labored breathing (call 911 if your baby has breathing difficulty and begins turning bluish around the lips or mouth)
- repeated forceful vomiting or an inability to keep fluids down
- bloody vomit or stool
- more than eight diarrhea stools in 8 hours
If your concern is urgent, call your doctor and take your child to the emergency room. Remember, with young infants, minor conditions can sometimes change quickly.
Looking at Your Newborn: What's Normal (for Parents)
When their little one comes into the world, new parents might be surprised by their baby's appearance. Instead of the picture-perfect cherub, babies often look bluish, are covered with blood and cream-cheesy glop, and look like they've just been in a fist-fight.
The features that may make a normal newborn look strange are temporary. After all, babies develop while immersed in fluid, folded up in an increasingly cramped space inside the uterus. Then in most deliveries, they're pushed through a narrow, bone-walled birth canal.
When you'll get to first see and touch your newborn may depend on the type of delivery, your condition, and the condition of your baby. Following an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, you should be able to hold your baby within minutes.
What Should We Expect?
In most cases, infants seem to be in a state of quiet alertness during the first hour or so after delivery. It's a great time for you and your newborn to get acquainted and begin the bonding process. And it's OK if circumstances prevent you from meeting your infant right away — you'll have plenty of quality time together soon.
Posture
During the first several weeks, you'll notice that much of the time your baby will tend to keep his or her fists clenched, elbows bent, hips and knees flexed, and arms and legs held close to the front of his or her body. This position is similar to the fetal position during the last months of pregnancy. Infants who are born prematurely may display several differences in their posture, appearance, activity, and behavior compared with full-term newborns.
Primitive Reflexes
Infants are born with a number of instinctual responses to stimuli, such as light or touch, known as primitive reflexes, which gradually disappear as the baby matures. These reflexes include the:
- sucking reflex, which triggers an infant to forcibly suck on any object put in the mouth
- grasp reflex, which causes a newborn to tightly close the fingers when pressure is applied to the inside of the infant's hand by a finger or other object
- Moro reflex, or startle response, which causes an infant to suddenly throw the arms out to the sides and then quickly bring them back toward the middle of the body whenever the baby has been startled by a loud noise, bright light, strong smell, sudden movement, or other stimulus
Also, due to the immaturity of their developing nervous systems, newborns' arms, legs, and chins may tremble or shake, particularly when they're crying or agitated.
Sleeping and Breathing
In the first weeks, infants usually spend most of their time sleeping. Newborns whose mothers received certain types of pain medications or anesthesia during labor or delivery can be especially sleepy during the first day or two of life.
Many new parents become concerned about their newborn's breathing pattern, particularly with the increased attention to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in recent years. But rest assured that it's normal for newborns to breathe somewhat irregularly.
When infants are awake, their breathing rate may vary widely, sometimes exceeding 60 breaths per minute, particularly when they're excited or following a bout of crying. Also common are periods during which they stop breathing for about 5 to 10 seconds and then start up again on their own. Known as periodic breathing, it's more likely during sleep and is normal. However, if your baby turns blue or stops breathing for longer stretches of time, it's considered an emergency and you should contact your child's doctor immediately or go to the emergency room.
Although talking won't come until much later, your newborn will produce a symphony of noises — especially high-pitched squeaks — in addition to the obligatory crying. Sneezing and hiccups are common and are not signs of infection, allergies, or digestive problems.
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Head
Because an infant's head is usually the first part through the birth canal, it can be affected by the delivery process. A newborn's skull is made of several separate bones (which will eventually fuse together) to allow the large head to be squeezed through the narrow birth canal without injury to mother or baby.
The heads of infants born by vaginal delivery often show some degree of molding, which is when the skull bones shift and overlap, making the top of the head look elongated, stretched out, or even pointed at birth. This sometimes bizarre appearance will go away over the next several days as the skull bones move into a more rounded configuration. The heads of babies born by cesarean section or breech (buttocks or feet first) delivery usually don't show molding.
Because of the separation of your newborn's skull bones, you'll be able to feel (go ahead, you won't harm anything) two fontanels, or soft spots, on the top of the head. The larger one, located toward the front of the head, is diamond-shaped and usually about 1 to 3 inches wide. A smaller, triangle-shaped fontanel is found farther back on the head, where a beanie might be worn.
Don't be alarmed if you see the fontanels bulge out when your infant cries or strains, or if they seem to move up and down in time with the baby's heartbeat. This is perfectly normal. The fontanels will eventually disappear as the skull bones close together — usually in about 12 to 18 months for the front fontanel and in about 6 months for the one in back.
In addition to looking elongated, a newborn's head may have a lump or two as a result of the trauma of delivery. Caput succedaneum is a circular swelling and bruising of the scalp usually seen on top of the head toward the back, which is the part of the scalp most often leading the way through the birth canal. This will fade over a few days.
A cephalohematoma is a collection of blood that has seeped under the outer covering membrane of one of the skull bones. This is usually caused during birth by the pressure of the head against the mother's pelvic bones. The lump is confined to one side of the top of the baby's head and, in contrast to caput succedaneum, may take a week or two to disappear. The breakdown of the blood collected in a cephalohematoma may cause these infants to become somewhat more jaundiced than others during the first week of life.
It's important to remember that both caput succedaneum and cephalohematoma occur due to trauma outside of the skull — neither indicates that there has been any injury to the infant's brain.
Face
A newborn's face may look quite puffy due to fluid accumulation and the rough trip through the birth canal. The infant's facial appearance often changes significantly during the first few days as the baby gets rid of the extra fluid and the trauma of delivery eases. That's why the photos you take of your baby later on at home usually look a lot different than those "new arrival" nursery shots.
In some cases, a newborn's facial features can be quite distorted as a result of positioning in the uterus and the squeeze through the birth canal. Not to worry — that folded ear, flattened nose, or crooked jaw usually comes back into place over time.
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Eyes
A few minutes after birth, most infants open their eyes and start to look around at their environment. Newborns can see, but they probably don't focus well at first, which is why their eyes may seem out of line or crossed at times during the first 2 to 3 months. Because of the puffiness of their eyelids, some infants may not be able to open their eyes wide right away.
When holding your newborn, you can encourage eye opening by taking advantage of your baby's "doll's eye" reflex, which is a tendency to open the eyes more when held in an upright position.
Parents are sometimes startled to see that the white part of one or both of their newborn's eyes appears blood-red. Called subconjunctival hemorrhage, this occurs when blood leaks under the covering of the eyeball due to the trauma of delivery. It's a harmless condition similar to a skin bruise that goes away after several days, and it generally doesn't indicate that there has been any damage to the infant's eyes.
Parents are often curious to know what color eyes their infant will have. If a baby's eyes are brown at birth, they will remain so. This is the case for most black and Asian infants. Most white infants are born with bluish-gray eyes, but the pigmentation of the iris (the colored part of the eye) may progressively darken, usually not reaching its permanent color until about 3 to 6 months of age.
Ears
A newborn's ears, as well as other features, may be distorted by the position they were in while inside the uterus. Because the baby hasn't yet developed the thick cartilage that gives firm shape to an older child's ears, it isn't unusual for newborns to come out with temporarily folded or otherwise misshapen ears. Small tags of skin or pits (shallow holes) in the skin on the side of the face just in front of the ear are also common. Usually, these skin tags can be easily removed (talk to your doctor).
Nose
Because newborns tend to breathe through their noses and their nasal passages are narrow, small amounts of nasal fluid or mucus can cause them to breathe noisily or sound congested even when they don't have a cold or other problem. Talk with your doctor about the use of saltwater nose drops and a bulb syringe to help clear the nasal passages if necessary.
Sneezing is also common in newborns. This is a normal reflex and isn't due to an infection, allergies, or other problems.
Mouth
When your newborn opens his or her mouth to yawn or cry, you may notice some small white spots on the roof of the mouth, usually near the center. These small collections of cells are called Epstein's pearls and, along with fluid-filled cysts sometimes present on the gums, will disappear during the first few weeks.
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Neck
Yes ... it's there. Normally the neck looks short in newborns because it tends to get lost in the chubby cheeks and folds of skin.
Chest
Because an infant's chest wall is thin, you may easily feel or observe your baby's upper chest move with each heartbeat. This is normal and isn't a cause for concern.
Also, both male and female newborns can have breast enlargement. This is due to the female hormone estrogen passed to the fetus from the mother during pregnancy. You may feel firm, disc-shaped lumps of tissue beneath the nipples and, occasionally, a small amount of milky fluid (called "witch's milk" in folklore) may be released from the nipples. The breast enlargement almost always disappears during the first few weeks. Despite what some parents believe, you shouldn't squeeze the breast tissue — it will not make the breasts shrink any faster than they will on their own.
Arms and Legs
Following birth, full-term newborns tend to assume a posture similar to what their position in the cramped uterus had been: arms and legs flexed and held close to their bodies. The hands are usually tightly closed, and it may be difficult for you to open them up because touching or placing an object in the palms triggers a strong grasp reflex.
Fingernails
Infants' fingernails can be long enough at birth to scratch their skin as they bring their hands to their faces. If this is the case, you can carefully trim your baby's nails with a pair of small scissors.
Sometimes parents are concerned about the curved appearance of their newborn's feet and legs. But if you recall the usual position of the fetus in the womb during the final months of pregnancy — hips flexed and knees bent with the legs and feet crossed tightly up against the abdomen — it's no surprise that a newborn's legs and feet tend to curve inward.
You can usually move your newborn's legs and feet into a "walking" position; and this will happen naturally as a baby begins to bear weight, walk, and grow through the first 2 to 3 years of life.
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Abdomen
It's normal for a baby's abdomen (belly) to appear somewhat full and rounded. When your baby cries or strains, you may also note that the skin over the central area of the abdomen may protrude between the strips of muscle tissue making up the abdominal wall on either side. This almost always disappears during the next several months as a baby grows.
Many parents are concerned about the appearance and care of their infant's umbilical cord. The cord contains three blood vessels (two arteries and a vein) encased in a jelly-like substance. Following delivery, the cord is clamped or tied off before it's cut to separate the infant from the placenta. The umbilical stump is then simply allowed to wither and drop off, which usually happens in about 10 days to 3 weeks.
You may be instructed to swab the area with alcohol periodically or wash it with soap and water if the stump becomes dirty or sticky to help prevent infection until the cord falls off and the stump dries up. The baby's navel area shouldn't be submerged in water during bathing until this occurs. The withering cord will go through color changes, from yellow to brown or black — this is normal. You should consult your baby's doctor if the navel area becomes red or if a foul odor or discharge develops.
Umbilical (navel) hernias are common in newborns, particularly in infants of African heritage. A hole in the wall of the abdomen at the site of the umbilical cord/future navel allows the baby's intestine to protrude through when he or she cries or strains, causing the overlying skin to bulge outward. These hernias are generally harmless and aren't painful to the infant. Most close on their own during the first few years, but a simple surgical procedure can fix the hernia if it doesn't close by itself. Home remedies for umbilical hernias that have been tried through the years, such as strapping and taping coins over the area, should not be attempted. These techniques are ineffective and may result in skin infections or other injuries.
Genitalia
The genitalia (sexual organs) of both male and female infants may appear relatively large and swollen at birth. Why? It's due to several factors, including exposure to hormones produced by both the mother and the fetus, bruising and swelling of the genital tissues related to birth trauma, and the natural course of development of the genitalia.
In girls, the outer lips of the vagina (labia majora) may appear puffy at birth. The skin of the labia may be either smooth or somewhat wrinkled. Sometimes, a small piece of pink tissue may protrude between the labia — this is a hymenal tag and it's of no significance; it will eventually recede into the labia as the genitals grow.
Due to the effects of maternal hormones, most newborn girls will have a vaginal discharge of mucus and perhaps some blood that lasts for a few days. This "mini-period" is normal menstrual-type bleeding from the infant's uterus that occurs as the estrogen passed to the infant by the mother begins to disappear. Although it's much more common in boys, swelling in the groin of an infant girl can indicate the presence of an inguinal (groin) hernia.
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Hydrocele
In boys, the scrotum (the sack containing the testicles) often looks swollen. This is usually due to a hydrocele, a collection of fluid in the scrotum of infant boys that usually disappears during the first 3 to 6 months. You should call your doctor about swelling or bulging in your son's scrotum or groin that lasts beyond 3 to 6 months or that seems to come and go. This may indicate an inguinal hernia, which usually requires surgical treatment.
The testicles of newborn boys may be difficult to feel in the swollen scrotum. Muscles attached to the testicles pull them up into the groin briskly when the genital area is touched or exposed to a cool environment. Infant boys also normally experience frequent penile erections, often just before they urinate.
More than 95% of newborns pee within the first 24 hours. If your baby is delivered in a hospital, nursery personnel will want to know if this happens while your infant is with you. If a newborn doesn't urinate for what seems like a while at first, it may be that he or she urinated immediately after birth while still in the delivery room. With all the activity going on, that first urination may not have been noticed.
Circumcision Care
If your infant son was circumcised, it usually takes between 7 to 10 days for the penis to heal. Until it does, the tip may seem raw or yellowish in color. Although this is normal, certain other symptoms are not. Call your child's doctor right away if you notice persistent bleeding, redness around the tip of the penis that gets worse after 3 days, fever, signs of infection (such as the presence of pus-filled blisters), and not urinating normally within 6 to 8 hours after the circumcision.
With both circumcised and uncircumcised penises, no cotton swabs, astringents, or any special bath products are needed — simple soap and warm water every time you bathe your baby will do the trick.
No special washing precautions are needed for newly circumcised babies, other than to be gentle, as your baby may have some mild discomfort after the circumcision. If your son has a bandage on his incision, you might need to apply a new one whenever you change his diaper for a day or two after the procedure (put petroleum jelly on the bandage so it won't stick to his skin).
Doctors often also recommend putting a dab of petroleum jelly on the baby's penis or on the front of the diaper to alleviate any potential discomfort caused by friction against the diaper. How you take care of your baby's penis may also vary depending on the type of circumcision procedure the doctor performs. Be sure to discuss what after-care will be needed.
If your baby boy wasn't circumcised, be sure to never forcibly pull back the foreskin to clean beneath it. Instead, gently tense it against the tip of the penis and wash off any smegma (the whitish "beads" of dead skin cells mixed with the body's natural oil). Over time, the foreskin will retract on its own so that it can be pulled away from the glans toward the abdomen. This happens at different times for different boys, but most can retract their foreskins by the time they're 5 years old.
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Skin
There's little doubt about the origin of the expression "still wet behind the ears," used to describe someone new or inexperienced. Newborns are covered with various fluids at delivery, including amniotic fluid and often some blood (the mother's, not the baby's). Nurses or other personnel attending the birth will promptly begin drying the infant to avoid a drop in the baby's body temperature that will occur if moisture on the skin evaporates rapidly.
Newborns are also coated with a thick, pasty, white material called vernix caseosa (made up of the fetus' shed skin cells and skin gland secretions), most of which will be washed off during the baby's first bath.
The hue and color patterns of a newborn's skin may be startling to some parents. Mottling of the skin, a lacy pattern of small reddish and pale areas, is common because of the normal instability of the blood circulation at the skin's surface. For similar reasons, acrocyanosis, or blueness of the skin of the hands and feet and the area surrounding the lips, is often present, especially if the infant is in a cool environment.
When bearing down to cry or having a bowel movement, an infant's skin temporarily may appear beet-red or bluish-purple. Red marks, scratches, bruises, and petechiae (tiny specks of blood that have leaked from small blood vessels in the skin) are all common on the face and other body parts. They're caused by the trauma of squeezing through the birth canal. These will heal and disappear during the first week or two of life.
Fine, soft hair, called lanugo, may be on a newborn's face, shoulders, and back. Most of this hair is usually shed in the uterus before the baby is delivered; for this reason, lanugo is more often seen on babies born prematurely. In any case, this hair will disappear in a few weeks.
The top layer of a newborn's skin will flake off during the first week or two. This is normal and doesn't require any special skin care. Peeling skin may be present at birth in some infants, particularly those who are born past their due date.
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Birthmarks
Not all babies come with a birthmark. However, pink or red areas, sometimes called salmon patches, are common and generally disappear within the first year. Most frequently found on the back of the neck or on the bridge of the nose, eyelids, or brow (hence the fanciful nicknames "stork bite" and "angel kiss"), they can occur anywhere on the skin, especially in light-skinned infants.
Mongolian spots, flat patches of slate-blue or blue-green color that resemble ink stains on the back, buttocks, or elsewhere on the skin, are found in more than half of black, Native American, and Asian infants and less often in white babies. These spots are of no significance and almost always fade or disappear within a few years.
Strawberry or capillary hemangiomas are raised red marks caused by collections of widened blood vessels in the skin. These may appear pale at birth, then become red and enlarge during the first months of life. Then, they usually shrink and disappear without treatment within the first 6 years.
Port-wine stains, which are large, flat, reddish-purple birthmarks, won't disappear on their own. As a child gets older, cosmetic appearance concerns may require the attention of a dermatologist.
Cafe-au-lait spots, so called because of their "coffee with milk" light-brown color, are present on the skin of some infants. These may deepen in color (or may first appear) as the child grows older. They're usually of no concern unless they're large or there are six or more spots on the body, which may indicate the presence of certain medical conditions.
Common brown or black moles, known as pigmented nevi, also can be present at birth or appear (or get darker) as a child gets older. Larger moles or those with an unusual appearance should be brought to a doctor's attention because some may require removal.
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Rashes
Several harmless skin rashes and conditions may be present at birth or appear during the first few weeks. Tiny, flat, yellow or white spots on the nose and chin, called milia, are caused by the collection of secretions in skin glands and will disappear within the first few weeks.
Miliaria — small, raised, red bumps that often have a white or yellow "head" — is sometimes called infant acne because of its appearance. Although miliaria often occurs on the face and can appear on large areas of the body, it's a harmless condition that will go away within the first several weeks with normal skin care.
Despite the frightening sound of its medical name, erythema toxicum is a harmless newborn rash consisting of red blotches with pale or yellowish bumps at the center, which can resemble hives. This rash usually blossoms during the first day or two after birth and disappears within a week.
Pustular melanosis, a rash present at birth, is characterized by dark brown bumps or blisters scattered over the neck, back, arms, legs, and palms, which disappear without treatment.
Also, it isn't unusual to see infants born with sucking blisters on the fingers, hands, or arms because the fetus can suck while still in the uterus.
Newborn jaundice, a yellowish discoloration of the skin and white parts of the eyes, is a common condition that normally doesn't appear until the second or third day after birth and disappears within 1 to 2 weeks. Jaundice is caused by the accumulation of bilirubin (a waste product produced by the normal breakdown of red blood cells) in the blood, skin, and other tissues due to the temporary inability of the newborn's immature liver to clear this substance from the body effectively.
Although some jaundice is normal, if an infant becomes jaundiced earlier than expected or the bilirubin level is higher than normal, the doctor will follow the baby very closely.
Getting to Know Your Little One
The first days and weeks of a newborn's life are a time of great wonder and delight for most new parents. However, being responsible for this tiny creature can be scary, particularly if you're not familiar with how a newborn looks and behaves.
If you feel anxious or uncertain about any part of caring for your baby, don't hesitate to call your doctor, other health care professionals, or family or friends who have had experience caring for a newborn.
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kniga", 2022) The period for payment of benefits is no more than 10 working days from the date of receipt of information on state registration of birth contained in the unified register of the registry office. The FSS transfers money through a postal service organization, credit or other organization specified in the information about the insured person (part 25 of article 13, part 1 of article 15 of Law N 255-FZ).
Regulations : Deadlines for the payment of a one-time allowance at the birth of a child
Federal Law of 05/19/1995 N 81-FZ
(as amended on 07/14/2022)
"On state benefits to citizens with children" Benefit for pregnancy and childbirth , a one-time allowance at the birth of a child, a monthly allowance for caring for a child, as well as a one-time allowance for the transfer of a child for upbringing to a family are assigned if they were applied no later than six months, respectively, from the date of the end of the maternity leave, from the date of birth of the child , from the day the child reaches the age of one and a half years, from the date the court decision on adoption comes into force, or from the day the guardianship and guardianship authority makes a decision to establish guardianship (guardianship), or from the day the agreement is concluded on the transfer of the child for upbringing to a foster family, and a one-time allowance to the pregnant wife of a conscripted military serviceman, and monthly personal allowance for a child of a military serviceman who is doing military service by conscription - no later than six months from the day the military serviceman ends his military service by conscription.
Order of the Ministry of Labor of Russia dated September 29, 2020 N 668n
(as amended on June 21, 2022)
"On approval of the Procedure and conditions for the appointment and payment of state benefits to citizens with children"
(Registered with the Ministry of Justice of Russia on December 23, 2020 N 61741)82 . Pregnancy and childbirth allowance, a one-time allowance for the birth of a child, a monthly allowance for child care, a one-time allowance for transferring a child to a family, a one-time allowance for the pregnant wife of a conscripted military serviceman, and a monthly allowance for a child of a military serviceman undergoing military service conscription service are appointed if they were applied for no later than six months, respectively, from the date of the end of the maternity leave, from the date of the birth of the child, from the day the child reaches the age of one and a half years, from the date the court decision on adoption comes into force (from the day the guardianship and guardianship authority makes a decision to establish guardianship (guardianship), from the day the agreement is concluded on the transfer of the child for upbringing to a foster family), from the day the military serviceman ends his military service on conscription.
"To mourn the loss of your hopes." How mothers of premature babies feel and how they can be helped
November 17th is World Prematurity Day. "Mel" told how such children are nursed and whether they can then develop on a par with their peers. Today we decided to talk about the mothers of children who were in a hurry to be born. We talked with psychologist Vera Safronova about how to help them in this difficult situation.
When talking about premature babies, most often they discuss the reasons why the baby was born prematurely, look for ways and means to prevent the situation from recurring in subsequent pregnancies, and also talk about how these babies develop and what can and should be done, to help them.
And everyone forgets that there are at least two victims in this story: in addition to the baby, there is also a mother. And she needs help too.
The mother of a premature baby - a hurried baby, as neonatologists often affectionately call them - faces a flurry of very different feelings, and most of them, according to psychologist Vera Safronova, are quite destructive in nature.
“Irrational Guilt Every Day”
The first and most common feeling that mothers of premature babies experience is, according to the psychologist, guilt. “A woman constantly asks herself: what did I do wrong? where and what did you not follow? what led to the birth of a premature baby?”
For every woman, pregnancy is a time of waiting not just for a child, but, in fact, for a new, ideal life. “We can expect ideal childbirth, predict the sex of the baby, want the ideal course of pregnancy, even want ideal motherhood from ourselves,” says Vera Safronova. "Sometimes parents come to me for sessions - and it's not clear what happened before: their parental guilt or the child himself..."
Photo: Brocreative / Shutterstock / Fotodompushes a person to think, helps to draw important conclusions and even change oneself for the better. “But excessive and irrational guilt eats up all parental strength and makes us blame ourselves for something that is beyond our control. And the birth of a premature baby is an event that is most often beyond our control. Expectations collapse in an instant and give way to the irrational guilt that a mother carries with her every day.”
What will help overcome these feelings
- Need to talk to the medical staff and doctors about the causes of preterm labor. Most often, these are events that a woman could not influence in any way. They are out of her control. This means that it is not in her area of responsibility.
- You need to find people in your environment who are ready to provide support and act as a reliable support.
- You need to protect yourself from contacts with toxic people who ask annoying questions “When will they be discharged?”, “How are you, what's new?”, “Any changes?”, “What's the news?”, “What do you think?”.
Vera Safronova also recommends noticing which phrases of others give strength and confidence, and which only cause anxiety and anxiety: “Perhaps simple phrases like “We are nearby. Everything will be fine. You do enough for your child" will give more strength than "Don't be afraid, it will get through", "And this one will grow up too".
Another technique that works, according to the psychologist, is a supportive letter that mom can write to herself. Write as if it were written by a person who only wants the best.
“Being tolerant of yourself and admitting that you are powerless to change anything is the hardest part of the process,” says the expert. - And if everything is already behind you, and the guilt is still with you, this is an occasion to reconsider your views and give yourself at least the opportunity to accept the fact that you could not influence what is happening then. And what happened happened."
“Grieving is a natural process”
The birth of a premature baby is almost always a tragedy. “This is the living of lost hopes that are not destined to be realized, this is disappointment and grief - and it is important to understand that this is absolutely normal,” continues the psychologist. “Experiencing these emotions is not a crime at all. Yes, the child is here - alive and even healthy, as far as possible. But this does not cancel the feeling of dashed hopes.”
It may take a long time to cope with the new reality, to experience grief and sadness.
In addition, parents are often simply afraid to talk about their experiences, they are afraid that others, including those close to them (usually the older generation), will be judgmental about the fact that they do not cope or cope poorly with their “duties” .
And here comes the biggest danger that absolutely everyone should remember: both the mother and father of a premature baby, and all relatives and friends of a couple who find themselves in such a difficult situation: “Mothers of premature babies who do not give themselves the right to feel grief, do not give themselves "weakness", they run the risk of facing much more serious consequences. With depression, with apathy and even with postpartum depression.
What can and should be done
- Give life to difficult feelings. “It is impossible to remove only bad feelings and leave good ones: it doesn’t work that way. And, by pushing negative emotions, you lock up positive feelings too, ”the psychologist warns.
- To mourn the loss of one's hopes, both literally and figuratively. It is an integral part of the long road to recovery.
However, not every woman is able to cope with such a situation on her own, and this is also absolutely normal. In this case, you should seek the help of a psychotherapist.
Signs of depression in mother:
- increased fatigue, lack of strength;
- tearfulness;
- excessive emotionality;
- permanent alarm;
- excessive isolation, refusal to communicate;
- lack of interest in the child;
- pathological guilt, fear, panic;
- problems with memory, appetite, sleep.
"How is he without me?"
Another unpleasant story that parents of a premature baby have to endure is separation from him. The baby is left for nursing in the hospital, and the parents go home. “And at this moment, to the feeling of guilt that you cannot be there with the child, comes the realization and anxiety that not the most pleasant medical manipulations are performed with him there, and you cannot console him in any way,” says Vera Safronova .
Photo: peterbako / Shutterstock / FotodomThe desire to protect a child is an integral part of parenthood. And it turns out that this basic need for care is not being met. “The first time after childbirth, while a premature baby is away from loved ones, parents are constantly in frustrating situations and can experience a lot of anger both at themselves and at the medical staff and the hospital. And the reason for the anger is the enormous pain, suffering and disappointment that they faced, ”explains the psychologist.
At the same time, the parents, in fear that they will give vent to their anger, do not dare to ask the doctors about the child in more detail and express their concerns. For some, this is caused by the unwillingness to seem stupid and ignorant, for others, by the fear of hearing a lot of strange terms in response and being completely confused.
The expert insists: “You have every right to ask again, clarify, be afraid. Doctors have been studying for many years to memorize these complex terms, and they hardly expect you to understand them in a single word or learn it all in a few days. At this point, it is very important that you know and understand what is happening with your child. A clear answer to your question will help reduce your anxiety.”
All the time while the child is in intensive care, on a ventilator, in the intensive care unit or already at the second stage of nursing, the woman is in a state of extreme stress.
And the problem is that when the child is already at home, nothing threatens his safety and health, fear does not let go
“Returning home with such a child, mothers can still be in a state of stress, in anxiety. They may be disturbed by emerging memories of terrible events in which they unwittingly became participants, and this is absolutely normal, ”continues Vera Safronova. At the same time, the expert notes that parents often feel, as they say, “inadequate”. After all, they know that the child is no longer in danger, but they continue to worry. And that's okay too.
Alleviate anxiety, she says, by constantly reminding yourself that these are just memories. This is a fait accompli, but it is already in the past: "Over time, when the child grows up and fills your parenthood with pleasant moments, stressful memories will certainly cease to be so intrusive."
“There will come a time for love and affection”
“It is better to feel nothing than to feel it all” — this is how you can characterize the emotions experienced by mothers of premature babies. Many people really fall into a stupor, all their feelings are dulled - according to Vera Safronova, this is a defense mechanism, the creation of an emotional distance that helps to survive all that horror, reduce all the pain that parents experience at this moment.