How to write a letter of support for child custody

Character Reference Letter for Court: Child Custody Template

A character reference letter to the court can be an important part of a disputed custody case.

If you're a parent pursing child custody, it's important you understand who you should ask to write a letter and how it can impact your case.

If you've been asked to write to the judge, use our sample character reference letter and fill-in-the-blank template.

What's a character reference letter?

Sometimes simply called a character letter, this letter is official legal testimony used as evidence in some child custody cases.

Similar to a declaration letter, it's a statement to the judge that supports a parent's requested custody arrangements. However, unlike a declaration letter, a character reference letter is written by someone who knows the parent (instead of the parent themself).

A character reference letter gives the judge insight into the case by offering a third party's perspective on the parent's relationship with the child. It also gives the judge more information about who the parent is, how they take care of their child and why they should have custody.

When you may need a character reference letter

Ideally, parents should work together to create their parenting plan, parenting time schedule and child support agreement.

When parents can't agree on custody, a judge (or other court official, such as a magistrate) decides the custody orders. Each parent submits paperwork to the court detailing the arrangements they want, along with evidence to prove that their proposed arrangement is best for the child.

Both parents can submit a character reference letter as part of this paperwork. The letters are typically optional, but one can go a long way in helping the judge understand you and your parenting.

In high-conflict cases where parents make allegations against each other, character reference letters can help the judge get more information.

You may also need a character reference letter if you have issues that can cause a parent to lose custody, such as a DUI conviction or criminal record. A strong character reference letter showing how the issues are in the past and do not affect your parenting can be crucial in these situations.

Who should write a character reference letter for a custody case

Your character reference letter writer is a witness on your behalf — they should know you well, have first-hand knowledge of your relationship with your child and support your custody requests. They should be someone who has frequently observed your parenting and who can authentically speak to your character.

Common character letter writers include close relatives, friends, co-workers and supervisors. You might also ask your child's teacher or caregiver if they know you well and have personal knowledge of your parenting. Be sure to choose someone who has known you for several years and who is credible in the eyes of the court.

If you want your character reference letter to address substance abuse or a similar issue, you might ask your sponsor or therapist. Just make sure they have observed you interacting with your child.

If you have a lawyer, they'll give you guidance on whom you should ask and what issues the letter should address. They may advise you to get letters from more than one person.

Tips when asking someone to write a character reference letter

When asking someone to write a character reference letter for you:

Give them plenty of notice.
Provide them with your court's requirements (e.g., format, page length, if the letter needs to be sealed in an envelope).
Make sure they understand that the letter will be used as evidence in your case and become part of the official court record.
Give them background information about your case and explain that judges make custody decisions based on the best interests of the child.
Share this article with them, along with its downloadable example and template.

How to write a character reference letter to a judge regarding custody

If you've been asked to write a character reference letter to a judge in a custody case, be sure you're clear on the court's requirements and exactly what your letter needs to include.

Character reference letters are usually a page long (two pages max).

As you prepare to write, brainstorm what you know about the parent and make a list of information and examples you want to include. Create an outline to organize your ideas.

After writing a draft, make sure you followed your outline and the organization flows logically. Use spell- and grammar-checking tools, and proofread carefully.

Remember that writing a character reference makes you a witness in the case, so take your role and the letter seriously.

How to format a character reference letter

A typical character reference letter has the following organization.

Heading and salutation: Use business-letter formatting and include information required by the court, such as the case number. The proper form of address for a judge is "To the honorable Judge," followed by their last name.

Introduction (1 paragraph): State the name of the parent on whose behalf you're writing, explain how you know them and for how long. Clearly state your overall assessment of the parent's character and parenting, and finish the introduction with a statement in support of the parent's custody requests.

Supporting facts and examples (2–3 paragraphs): Give more details about how you know the parent, your assessment of their character and their relationship with their child.

Share examples that demonstrate how the parent cares for their child and supports their best interests. Highlight the parent's strengths, and show how they play an active role in their child's upbringing and overall well-being. Be specific, and focus on the parent–child relationship.

Conclusion (1 paragraph): Clearly restate your support of the parent's custody requests. Reiterate their strengths and commitment to supporting their child's best interests.

Closing & signature: Thank the judge for their time and consideration. Sign as you would a business letter. You typically don't need to have your letter notarized.

Keep in mind that some courts or judges prefer confidential letters with the writer's signature across the envelope seal (proving that it hasn't been opened). Ask the parent for whom you're writing the letter if this is necessary.

Downloadable example and template

Below, find a sample character reference letter and a character reference letter template that you can customize. Keep in mind that court requirements and preferences vary.

Character reference letter sample
Character reference letter template

The tools you need for custody court

The Custody X Change app has many tools to help with your child custody case.

Create a detailed parenting plan that shows your requested legal custody arrangements and co-parenting rules in airtight legal language, demonstrating your competency.
Make a custom parenting time schedule to show the judge the exact physical custody arrangement you want.
Keep a custody journal to electronically organize evidence, document incidents and keep a record of co-parenting issues.
Track actual parenting time and get reports to show the judge exactly how much time each parent spends with your child.
Use the parent messaging tool to keep an accurate record of your conversations with the other parent.
Link your account to your lawyer's and print your journal, parenting time reports and messages so you can submit them to the court as evidence.

Custody X Change is software that creates professional parenting plan documents and parenting schedules.

Make My Plan

Sample Declaration Letter to Judge for Child Custody

Declaration letters to the court can be crucial in child custody cases. They can even serve as your testimony if you have a trial by written declaration. Use our sample declaration letter, our downloadable template and the tips below to write yours.

What's a declaration letter?

A declaration letter is a statement of facts that a parent writes as part of a disputed child custody case. It's formal testimony that a judge considers when evaluating a parent's legal and physical custody requests.

A declaration letter declares a parent's intent in seeking custody orders. It summarizes the case, states the custody arrangements the parent wants and argues for those arrangements by showing how they support the child's best interests.

It's your chance to explain to the judge, in writing, the exact custody arrangements you want and why. To help show why the custody arrangements you're requesting are better for your child than what the other parent wants, you can also attach evidence (exhibits) and explain them in the letter.

A declaration letter is different from a character reference letter, which is written by one of your witnesses.

When you may need to write a declaration letter

Ideally, parents should work together to create their parenting plan, parenting time schedule and child support agreement.

When parents can't agree on custody, a judge (or other court official, such as a magistrate) decides the custody orders. Each parent submits paperwork to the court detailing the arrangements they want, along with evidence to help prove that their proposed arrangement is best for the child.

Declaration letters from both parents are often part of this paperwork. They may be required, depending on your state, court and judge.

Judges often use declaration letters to get background information in preparation for a hearing in which parents can offer additional testimony.

However, some courts don't hold a hearing — instead, the judge decides custody based solely on each parent's declaration letter and submitted evidence. This process, sometimes called a trial by written declaration, is common in states and counties that have busy family courts. It also became more common during the COVID-19 pandemic, and some courts are continuing this practice.

If you're writing a declaration letter, be sure you're clear on exactly how the judge is going to use it to decide custody — in preparation for a hearing or to make the final decision.

How to write a declaration letter for child custody

No matter how the judge uses your letter, its stakes are high.

It's crucial that you write an effective, error-free letter that meets all of your court's requirements. Be sure to research your state's child custody process and your court's declaration letter rules. Give yourself plenty of time to write and revise multiple drafts so you can present the best possible statement to the judge.

Your letter should be well-organized and specific to your situation. It should demonstrate your genuine commitment to being a good co-parent, make a thoughtful argument in favor of your custody arrangement and show that you prioritize your child's best interests.

If you have a lawyer, they'll provide guidance on what to include in your letter and, possibly, edit it. However, they shouldn't write the letter for you, since it's your sworn testimony and judges want to hear from parents, not their lawyers.

Heading & salutation: Use the formatting preferred by your court (e. g., business letter or legal document format). Include the personal information your court requires, such as your case number. To address a judge, write "To the honorable Judge," followed by the judge's last name.

Introduction (1 paragraph): State when you and the other parent married (if divorcing) or when you began your relationship (if unmarried). Add when you separated or decided to divorce. Include your children's names and birth dates. Finish the introduction with a one- or two-sentence summary or bulleted list of the custody arrangements you're requesting.

Background (1-2 paragraphs): Give the judge more information about your case. Explain how parenting worked before separation and how co-parenting has worked since separation.

Include information about each parent's work and their work schedule, how expenses are paid, if your child has special needs, the major disputed issues, etc.

Supporting facts & examples (3 or more paragraphs): Explain why your proposed parenting plan and time schedule is best for your child. Give examples of how both parents approach parenting.

If you're attaching evidence (photos, official records, parenting time reports, messages, etc.), explain each exhibit and how it supports your requests. This is the bulk of your letter — it can be several paragraphs or multiple pages.

Be sure to address all of your requests, including child support.

Conclusion (1 paragraph): Clearly restate your custody requests and why they're in your child's best interests.

Sworn statement/oath (1 sentence): You must swear that everything in the letter is true. Check with your court to see if they require certain wording. If your court requires letters to be notarized, don't sign until you're with the notary public or court clerk.

How to format a declaration letter

Your local court — and possibly your judge — will have specific formatting rules for declaration letters and other statements submitted to the court. Your court may prefer that you use standard business letter format, or it may want you to use legal document formatting.

Either way, make sure to follow their rules precisely. These will most likely include requirements for font style and size, margins, line spacing, page numbers, evidence labeling and more. Some courts might also want you to use specific headings.

If you're submitting your letter electronically, you may have to submit it as a certain file type (e.g., PDF).

Pay particular attention to your court's and your judge's page-length requirement. Declaration letters are often multiple pages, especially if the case is complex and there's a lot of evidence to explain.

For example, California limits declaration letters to 10 pages (not including attachments). However, many judges prefer letters to be no more than five pages. Ask the court clerk or your lawyer for guidance on length.

Downloadable template and sample letter to a judge

Below, find a fill-in-the-blank template, as well a detailed example of a declaration letter. Keep in mind that court requirements and preferences vary.

Declaration letter template
Sample declaration letter

Other tips for writing a declaration letter

In addition to proving why your custody arrangement is best for your child, your letter should demonstrate to the judge that you're a responsible and competent co-parent. To do this, keep these additional tips in mind:

Before you start writing, create an outline to organize your ideas.
Write professionally, but in your own voice — don't try to sound like a lawyer.
Be specific.
Don't ramble or repeat yourself, and don't include irrelevant information.
Don't lie or make assumptions not supported by facts and evidence — include only information that you have personal knowledge of.
Don't use inflammatory language or rant about the other parent.
After writing a draft, check that the letter's organization flows logically.
Use spell- and grammar-checking tools, and have someone else proofread it for errors.
Have a lawyer or other legal professional review your letter and give you feedback.

The tools you need for custody court

The Custody X Change app has many co-parenting features and tools to organize evidence and help you win child custody.

Create a detailed parenting plan that shows your requested legal custody arrangements and co-parenting rules in airtight legal language, demonstrating your competency.
Make a custom parenting time schedule to show the judge the exact physical custody arrangement you want.
Keep a custody journal to electronically organize evidence, document incidents and keep a record of co-parenting issues.
Track actual parenting time and get reports to show the judge exactly how much time each parent spends with your child.
Use the parent messaging tool to keep an accurate record of your conversations with the other parent.
Link your account to your lawyer's and print your journal, parenting time reports and messages so you can attach them to your declaration letter as evidence.

Custody X Change is software that creates professional parenting plan documents and parenting schedules.

Make My Plan

SAMPLE APPLICATION FOR CUSTODIANS OF A DISABLED CHILD of the 1st group From the age of 18, Krasnoarmeysk | question No. 764057 dated 01/16/2023

In order to obtain custody of a citizen, this citizen must be recognized by a court as legally incompetent due to mental illness. If this is the case, then you need to apply to the court with a statement in the special procedure "On recognizing a citizen incompetent."

If the application is satisfied, then after that the guardian is appointed by the guardianship and guardianship authorities. nine0003

If a citizen is not mentally ill, but cannot take care of himself due to another illness, then he can be placed under guardianship in the form of patronage. This will require applications from you and from a disabled child to the guardianship and guardianship authorities.

V ____________ district (city)

Court ________________________________

Applicant: ____________________________ nine0003

(Full name, address)

Person against whom

statement: ________________________

___________________________________

(full name, address)

Interested parties:

1. Guardianship and trusteeship authority nine0003

___________________________________

2. Psychoneurological dispensary

___________________________________

STATEMENT

on the recognition of a citizen as incapacitated

Living with me _______________________________

(indicate full name of the person,

_________________________________________________________________

for which recognition is being sought

incapacitated, and the applicant's relationship to him)

with "___" _________ ____ is a disabled person of _____ group due to

__________________________________________________ disease.

Due to illness, he (she) cannot understand the meaning of his

actions, manage them and need guardianship _____________________ nine0003

(state

_________________________________________________________________.

circumstances indicating a mental disorder,

as a result of which the person cannot understand the meaning

their actions and manage them)

In accordance with Art. 29 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, art. 281, 283 Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation

PLEASE:

1. Declare incompetent ___________________________________

(Full name of the person in respect of whom

_________________________________________________________________.

the question of incapacitation is raised, place and year

of his birth, place of residence)

2. Claim from ____________________________________________

(name of medical institution)

an extract from the medical history.

3. Order a forensic psychiatric examination and

the following questions for the experts: ______________________________

_________________________________________________________________.

Applications:

1. Copy of birth certificate.

2. Certificate of pension.

3. State duty payment receipt.

4. Copies of the application. nine0003

"___"____________ ____ _________

(signature)

--------------------------------

According to paragraph 4 of Art. 281 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, an application is submitted to the court at the place of residence of this citizen, and if the citizen is placed in a psychiatric or psycho-neurological institution - at the location of this institution.

Best regards,

Kharchenko O.V.

Did the answer help you?YesNo

How do I get custody of a child, elderly or disabled person?

What is guardianship?

In Russia, citizens who need guardianship include minors, that is, children under 14, as well as persons recognized by the court as incompetent. We are talking about people who, due to a mental disorder, cannot understand the meaning of their actions or control them. This is stated by the Federal Law "On guardianship and guardianship". Based on the document, citizens appointed by the body of guardianship and guardianship "are the legal representatives of the wards, and perform on their behalf and in their interests all legally significant actions."

Guardianship is aimed at protecting the interests of the listed categories of citizens, as well as the very possibility of declaring a citizen incompetent in a judicial proceeding. This was also emphasized by the Constitutional Court in the framework of Resolution No. 15-P dated June 27, 2012 “On the case of checking the constitutionality of paragraphs 1 and 2 of Article 29, paragraph 2 of Article 31 and Article 32 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation in connection with the complaint of citizen I.B. Business". nine0003

How is guardianship different from guardianship?

In addition to guardianship, there is also guardianship, under which adolescents aged 14 to 18, as well as persons with limited legal capacity, can fall. Such people cannot be fully responsible for their actions. This category has more rights than minors and the incapacitated. For example, they can independently perform small everyday transactions and actions provided for by law (dispose of their own income, etc.). However, in other cases, they are obliged to assist the trustee. nine0003

It turns out that the guardian has more rights and obligations than the guardian, and therefore a greater responsibility falls on him.

Who can become a guardian or custodian?

The main requirement for a candidate is full legal capacity. And since it comes from the age of 18, the guardian must be of age. The law also establishes a list of restrictions. Guardianship cannot be issued by persons:

deprived of parental rights;
having an unexpunged or outstanding conviction for an intentional crime against life or health; nine0144
who did not agree to become a guardian.

When it comes to guardianship of young children (under 14), additional restrictions are set. Future guardians must undergo special psychological, pedagogical and legal training, as well as prove that they are in a bisexual marriage. Those who have registered a same-sex marriage in the territory of another state will not be able to arrange guardianship.

Arranging child custody

This process is supervised by guardianship authorities. To find out all the details of the procedure, you must contact the district office. The state is interested in ensuring that children are not left unattended, are not placed in orphanages and boarding schools, and therefore, most likely, those who wish to arrange guardianship will be met halfway and will be helped in every possible way.

The candidate needs to write an application, collect documents confirming, among other things, the passage of special training, and in case of a positive answer, sign an agreement. nine0003

How can I get guardianship of an elderly incapacitated person?

The algorithm is the same as for children - the guardianship and guardianship authority will also deal with the issue of guardianship. However, there are also differences. Thus, custody of an elderly or adult person does not always involve the joint residence of the guardian and his ward. This issue is decided individually, but cohabitation, of course, is welcome. It is much easier for a guardian to fulfill his duties and provide supervision, especially when it comes to a pensioner who, most likely, has a sufficient number of health problems. nine0003

If cohabitation is intended, consent must be obtained from all family members of the guardian living in the same dwelling, including children aged 10 and over.

How to get paid guardianship?

There are two types of guardianship:

free of charge;
paid.

In the first case, nothing is paid to the guardian. Paid guardianship can have quite flexible conditions, which are fixed by the contract. In accordance with Article 16 of the Federal Law “On Custody and Custody”, remuneration can also be paid at the expense of third parties, from the income from the property of the ward (no more than 5% and only if he is already an adult), as well as from the budget . nine0003

Features of the legal status

The guardian has an unlimited range of powers - he represents the interests of the ward in any relationship, no matter what is discussed. Moreover, this rule applies even when registering custody of a minor with living parents. If the ward is a child, then the guardian acts as a father or mother. However, in some cases notification of guardianship authorities is required. They can also establish restrictions on the actions of the guardian or, conversely, oblige him to perform any actions. All this is recorded in the act on the appointment of a guardian or custodian, or in an agreement on the implementation of guardianship or guardianship. nine0003

What documents are required for registration of guardianship?