How to make your child get good grades

Bright Horizons | How to Encourage Children to Get Good Grades

Article posted by Bright Horizons on October 15, 2020

All parents want their children to do well in school. Whether our own school experiences were positive, neutral, or negative, we want our children to succeed in school and life and often are willing to do anything to support that goal. A question many parents wonder about, though, is how much support we should give our children to earn good grades. Do we help with homework? Do we encourage good grades with rewards?

How to Help Kids Get Better Grades

Have high but realistic expectations. We should always hold high but realistic expectations for our children. Let your kids know that you think they are smart and capable and provide assistance as needed with homework and projects. But don't go overboard with your expectations. Having high expectations is important, but having too high expectations can put unnecessary pressure on your child and that is not usually helpful.
Provide homework help. Creating homework space and offering help is a good thing. Sometimes all that is needed with homework help is to listen while your child thinks through a project. Showing your interest in and of itself is helpful. You can also ask open-ended questions (like "What do you think?") to help the process along, but not give the answers. Asking open-ended questions works even after the content of your child's homework exceeds what you remember from school.
Encouragement over praise. There has been a lot of discussion recently about praise vs. encouragement. Praise ("good job" and "well done") is less helpful than descriptive phrases that offer encouragement ("These last few months you have been really consistent about doing your homework each night and it shows in these good grades. "). Specific encouragement as part of positive parenting is helpful because you are telling your child exactly what he did that was beneficial. He is more likely to remember your specific encouragement than a generic "good job."
Refrain from rewards if your child is intrinsically motivated. Most of us want our children to be intrinsically motivated - in other words, we want our children to want to earn good grades and to work without verbal recognition or tangible rewards. By the time they start school, many children are intrinsically motivated and our job is to help them maintain this quality. A powerful way to encourage a child's motivation is for parents to model working towards a goal, whether it be cleaning the kitchen or completing a challenging project at work. If a child is intrinsically motivated and he or she is offered tangible rewards for good grades, that child will likely come to rely on the rewards and may, in the future, only get good grades if a reward is present. So rewards are not needed if your child is intrinsically motivated and may even have a negative outcome.

Tips on Offering Tangible Rewards for Good Grades

Offering tangible rewards (like money, a toy, new boots, etc.) tend to make your child dependent on the reward to achieve good grades in the future. Your positive words can mean more. However, if you are already offering rewards or are trying to build your child's motivation, here are a few things to consider:

You might try saying that this reward is only for this one time so that you don't set a precedent for all good grades in the future. Your child may still say, "but last time, I got..." but you know you are being true to your agreement.
Be specific about your expectations when it comes to rewarding good grades. "If you get three A's, you will get..."
You must follow through on what you agreed to. If your child doesn't earn the grades agreed to, she doesn't get the reward.
Children may compare their reward to their friend's reward ("I only got $1, but Emily's mother gave her $5 for good grades."). Be prepared with a response such as, "Different families make different choices about rewards for good grades."

An alternative to tangible rewards for good grades is that your child could earn time with you to do an activity of your child's choice. Often this is the best reward possible. The challenge here is that earning good grades shouldn't be the only time your child gets individual time to do a special activity with you. This should happen on an ongoing basis.

So how do you decide what is best when it comes to encouraging good grades and doing well in school? A few things to remember are:

If your child is intrinsically motivated already, rewards are not necessary and may even have a negative impact.
Save tangible rewards only if needed or for special circumstances and be clear that this is a one-time practice to bring their grades up.
Consider offering special time with you as an alternative to a tangible reward.
Consistently offer encouragement for your child's efforts. This should happen regularly.

Each family has to decide what works best for them with reward systems. Your decisions may be different than your neighbors and others in your extended family. Taking time to think through how you want to handle this area will be important in the event that questions from your child or others arise.

More on This Topic

School work is a big part of getting good grades. Learn how to help kids get better grades by making homework a positive experience for everyone.
What do you do when homework is too hard for the parents? Blogger Kris-Ann is struggling to help her son with Common Core math.
Dinner, activities, sports, showers...how do you make homework work with your busy family's schedule?
Find tips on behavior charts and reward systems to make it a positive experience.
Find tips for creating good homework habits, offering help, and how to create a space for kids to do homework.
Weigh the pros and cons of children's schedules and get tips for finding the right balance of sports and activities.

How to Help Your Child Improve Their Grades at School – Built By Me ® – STEM Learning

While teachers play a crucial role in children’s education, parents remain their children’s primary teachers. Therefore, if you notice that your child has started struggling academically, there are things that you can do to help them improve their grades at school.

1. Talk to Your Child

One of the factors that affect children’s academic performance is their motivation in education. If your child has lost the motivation to study, it can make studying, completing homework, and preparing for tests difficult. This can negatively affect their grades.

To determine how to effectively help your child improve their grades at school, first determine what is causing their lack of motivation to study. Talk to your child to find out that that is; however, make sure to do it in a caring and non-threatening way.

2. Focus on the Positive

Getting a bad grade can be stressful for a child. Moreover, their stress levels can increase even more if they are criticized for it when they come home.

A child who fears that their parent will punish or scold them for a bad grade may even start lying. This can cause long-term damage to the foundation of the relationship between you and your child.

Punishing a child for a bad grade can also lower their self-esteem and motivation to study.

Instead, approach your child from a more positive and constructive perspective. Ask your child what they think has caused them to get a lower grade, what they can do to improve their school grades in the future, as well as if there is anything you can do to help.

If you feel angry or disappointed, and your child feels bad about the low grade, it may be best to hold this conversation later in the day or on a different day. Emotions will have settled, and you both will have an easier time thinking clearly and objectively.

3. Review Homework and Tests Together

It can be a tedious and unpleasant task to do. Nonetheless, it can help parents identify problem areas that their child needs to address to improve their grades at school.

Sit down and talk about what your child found challenging and where they made mistakes. Then, you can find ways of providing help with those. These can be practice worksheets, online practice exercises, or the help of a tutor.

4. Monitor Screen Time

While screen time is frequently dubbed as bad, and many suggest avoiding it altogether, not all screen time is bad. In fact, it can be beneficial and can teach invaluable skills.

Yet, parents need to monitor how much time their parents spend on screens and what they are doing. Watching cartoons or playing videogames can be exciting for children. However, children can spend hours doing that if parents don’t monitor their screen time. This can negatively affect their health, sleep, and, as a result, grades at school.

Therefore, parents need to set a limit on how long children can spend on screens and adhere to it. Instead of cartoons, look into educational video games and activities that can teach new skills and knowledge. It is also beneficial for parents to spend screen time together with children. This can help them to learn how to use screens mindfully.

5. Help Establish Good Study Habits

Sadly, schools rarely teach students how to set or improve their study habits. Nonetheless, they can not only help to improve grades at school but also help with studying, completing challenging tasks, and working in the future.

Teaching study techniques such as time management, organization, prioritization of tasks can be invaluable to improve grades at school as well as succeed later in life.

6. Make Learning Fun and Applicable

Often, students have a hard time with a subject if they do not see a practical use for it. That is often the case with math and science classes, especially for girls.

Showing how what children learn at school can be fun and applicable can increase students internal motivation and help them improve their grades at school. So, if your child is studying math functions, you can ask them to help you in the kitchen, counting or measuring ingredients.

You can also play with STEM toys and games, go to science museums and zoos, as well as do other STEM-related activities that can help raise your child’s interest in the subject that they are struggling with.

7. Establish a Healthy Reward System

A common strategy that many parents still use to motivate their children to improve their grades at school is punishment for bad grades. Nonetheless, contrary to popular belief, punishment isn’t nearly as effective as parents expect it to be. In fact, it can be harmful in many ways.

Instead, a much more effective approach is establishing a healthy and positive reward system. So, if you see that your child is struggling with a test, you can encourage them with something they can look forward to. This can be going to celebrate a good grade with ice cream, cake, or pizza from your child’s favorite eatery or buying something that they really want.

Make sure not to make it a habit, though. Rewarding every single accomplishment can lead to your child becoming dependent on external motivators and become prone to addictions.

8. Get Help

You may not be able to help with all subjects, and you may not always be available due to circumstances such as work. In such instances, seeking professional help from a qualified tutor or an extracurricular learning center could be beneficial.

Have you tried any of these tips to help your child improve their grades at school? Which one do you think is best for your child right now? Feel free to connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and share it with us!

If you live in East Brunswick, New Jersey, and are looking for a tutor or STEM classes to help your child get better grades, get in touch with us.

How to make your child memorize the material and study well: 11 important conditions

What conditions should be created at home and at school so that the child understands the educational material better, is more attentive in the lessons and remembers more information? The evolutionary biologist John Medina discusses this in his book Rules of the Brain, published by Mann, Ivanov and Ferber.

Photo: Yanapi Senaud

Elementary exercises in the morning, training in the sports section or even simple walks after school will help your child learn much more successfully!

From an evolutionary point of view, our brains evolved by working and traveling more than 19 kilometers a day. Modern people tend to lead a sedentary lifestyle. But we still need activity.

Studies show that physical activity stimulates the brain, helps improve long-term memory, logical thinking, attention and the ability to solve new problems.

Exercise should not be too intense: overwork can damage cognitive ability. Empirically, it was determined that the golden mean is half an hour of aerobics three times a week.

In one experiment, children ran for half an hour two or three times a week. After just three months, their cognitive abilities improved significantly.

Doing homework or (even more so!) staying up late on social networks is a very bad idea. Our brains need healthy sleep to learn successfully.

Lack of sleep impairs mental activity in all possible ways: it has a bad effect on attention, working memory, mathematical abilities, logical thinking and motor skills.

The most interesting thing is that the negative effect of regular sleep deprivation is cumulative. This fact has been studied in detail in scientific experiments. During one of them, the time of night rest was limited to six hours or less. After five days, the cognitive abilities of the subjects were the same as after two days without sleep, that is, they decreased by 60 percent!

The current education system does not take into account that students of the same age have different intellectual abilities. After all, the neural connections of each brain are unique!

Pupils acquire certain knowledge at different times and to different degrees. When there are many children, it is difficult for the teacher to keep track of everyone, so there must be limits on the number of students - the fewer, the better.

Small classes ensure successful work simply because the teacher can observe each child. Working with a small group, the teacher can better see when students make mistakes, whether they are working at full strength and how well the material was understood.

Other things being equal, smaller classrooms create a more conducive environment for learning.

Memory tends to retain the most important of what we encounter. Details can be restored if you remember the essence.

The brain perceives general concepts better than particular ones. Of course, detailed knowledge is very important for successful learning in school. Interestingly, you can memorize details based on meaning.

If you want your child to master the material well, don't start with the details. Focus on the key idea and build details around core concepts.

Photo: CDC

Attention is one of the secrets of high academic achievement. It is inextricably linked to the interest or importance of the information. We notice everything unusual, unpredictable, different, evoking emotions. Such signals are processed by the brain and are remembered much better than neutral ones.

The more attention the brain pays to the received signals, the better the information is encoded and, therefore, stored.

In an average lesson, students lose interest after about 10 minutes. The teacher must take this into account. After 600 seconds, it is necessary to attract the attention of children with an emotionally significant stimulus related to the topic - a vivid image, news, a good example, a story on the topic of the day, a story, an anecdote or a joke.

Most teachers dump too much information on their students and give them too little time to digest it. Specialists who are well versed in their topic simply forget what it is like to be a beginner.

To improve the learning process, the teacher should present information in small portions, giving children a rest between the semantic blocks of the lesson. You can spend 10 minutes on one idea. During this time, it is necessary to formulate a specific thesis, and then clearly, accurately and in detail explain the relationship between the details and the main concept. Then it is advisable to use a trap to maintain attention (see the previous paragraph) and smoothly move on to the next thought.

Watch your child do homework. Does he listen to music and actively correspond with friends? Are several windows and programs open at once on the computer that are not related to study? Of course, in such an environment it is difficult to concentrate on the task.

Scientists have proven that multitasking is a myth.

The brain is unable to pay attention to several different things at the same time. It is impossible to stay focused and process information efficiently by jumping from one thing to another.

Try to keep the student surrounded by as few distractions as possible and his performance will definitely improve.

Students forget 90 percent of what they learn in class within 30 days. Moreover, most of the information disappears from the head in the first hours after the lesson.

It is possible to extend the period of information storage by its systematic reproduction at certain intervals. The number of repetitions and the interval between them are critical for the transition from short-term memory to long-term memory.

Ideally, the material covered should be repeated two more times during the day (it is better to do this in the first hours after the lesson). Then you need to return to the information in three or four days.

For the final consolidation of knowledge, it is desirable to repeat certain topics every six months. Given the progress, the content of the review material can be adjusted. This approach takes a lot of time, but brings great benefits in the study of any subject, especially foreign languages.

At the moment of learning, memory is unstable - repetition makes it more reliable.

Photo: Vitolda Klein

The release of stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) is the body's defense system. It is designed to enable an immediate response to a serious but short-term threat to life.

However, in the modern world, stress is often measured not by seconds of encountering real danger, but by hours, days and months of psycho-emotional stress. In this case, hormones poison our body.

Too much and prolonged stress harms learning.

Children suffering from nervous tension are not very successful in mathematics and languages. Their memory is much weaker than others. They generalize and adapt the available information to new scenarios worse. They find it difficult to concentrate.

Under extreme conditions, stress hormones can even damage brain tissue!

According to the observations of researchers, children who constantly watch their parents quarrel or experience strong psychological pressure demonstrate lower academic performance than their peers living in calm conditions. So one of the most important factors for academic success is a stable emotional situation at home and at school.

The more senses involved in the learning process, the better the information is remembered.

In experiments conducted by cognitive psychologist Richard Mayer, groups that worked in a multisensory environment always performed better than those who received information through only one channel (for example, through hearing or vision).

If you want the child to better understand the topic, present the information not only in verbal, but also in visual form.

One of the effective methods is to use animation in conjunction with oral storytelling. At the same time, it is important to observe the principle of consistency: it is better to exclude foreign material.

Consider other ways you can use visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, and olfactory stimuli in conjunction with traditional delivery methods.

Children are born with an insatiable curiosity and a strong desire to explore the world. They try new things with pleasure, analyze objects and their properties, set up experiments (at first unpretentious, then more complex).

Every child is a natural explorer. All that is required of you is to encourage his desire for knowledge.

It is necessary to create conditions so that the student can actively test the environment, follow the call of his brain, experiment, observe, make his own discoveries, acquire knowledge during the game, apply theory in practice and enjoy this process.

Based on the book "Brain Rules" .

Excellent grades: how to motivate a child?

Most parents want their child to get A's and A's in school. But are good grades so important for later life and success at work? Should a child be punished for poor performance? These and other questions were answered by a psychologist, specialist of the 12 Collegia Center Anna-Maria Sarantseva.

How do parents of a first grader prepare for school?

— Is studying for "4" and "5" an important skill for a child, or perhaps the value of this skill is somewhat overestimated?

— It seems to me that studying for "4" and "5" is not a skill, but an experience. Yes, this is an important experience for the success of a child. Different children achieve it in different ways. Sometimes excellent study is achieved by the ability to negotiate with teachers and find contact. Sometimes effective use of talents - good memory or stress resistance. But in any case, the experience of success is important for the self-esteem and development of the child.

Low self-esteem in a child: who is to blame and what to do?

— But for many, studying well means being smart. Is it so?

- This is a dangerous stereotype. If studying well means being smart, then studying badly means being stupid, which is not the case. The feeling and attitude “I'm stupid” slows down and prevents even the most talented child from studying well. In addition, there is a fear of making a mistake and being a "fool", while successful learning is accompanied by the attitude "error is a natural phenomenon, now I know more."

— That is, excellent study only shows that the child is effectively coping with a specific task in some way?

— Yes, and meets the criteria, that one way or another he has learned to meet the criteria of his teachers - those who grade him.

— There is an opinion that C students are much more successful than A students in life. Is it so?

- It seems to me that this is also a stereotype, which, however, has a basis. It is often difficult for people who have adapted to one requirement to adapt to another. If the child did well at school, in new circumstances (university, job search), he may have to spend more effort on adapting to the new rules of the game. Many C students are much more “sneaky”, or rather, more flexible than A students: they have to invent new ways to achieve the final goal, change the goal itself, in addition, it happens that mistakes do not cause them excessive stress. These skills then help in adult life to achieve success.

In general, if a child learns with Cs, but he has a cognitive interest, he likes to understand the problem, then he will succeed. If the child is not interested in everything, he does not like to make discoveries, then there is little chance of success in professional activities.

- There are two opposite approaches to upbringing and education: the search for innate talents and their improvement or the uniform development of all skills. Which one is closer to you?

— It all depends on the age. I think that in preschool and primary school age, all-round development is more important. In high school, it's worth looking at what skills are missing to be successful in the humanities or sciences. Often we like and want to do what we think we can do, what we are sure of. Help your child gain confidence that he is also successful in the humanities and sciences.

Children and creativity: how to develop abilities?

In high school, already pay attention to the field in which he took place: there is little time left before choosing a profession. It is important that before the 7th grade, the child has tried many areas and is well aware of his strengths and areas of development. After the 7th grade, it is better to focus on specific talents and look for yourself in a narrow area.

— How is cognitive activity formed, and how to understand if a child has it?

- It's easy to recognize her. If a child asks questions: “Why?”, “How does it work?” - he has it. It remains to encourage and educate the child. When he starts new subjects, study them together. For example, in grades 5-6, physics, chemistry, and biology begin. They all appeal to the everyday experience of the child. Discuss why clouds do not stand still, water turns to ice, and conifers do not throw off their needles. Try to find something interesting in the ordinary.

If there is no cognitive activity, then it can be created. Use funny, vivid facts. Are vampires possible in nature? How to discover the secret of eternal youth? Buy him coloring books, children's collections with stickers, puzzles and drawings. Bookstores offer hundreds of such albums - the child is sure to find something for himself.

Low cognitive activity is often caused by self-doubt. The child does not believe that he can find the answers himself, so he stops asking questions. Help him gain faith in himself and his strength. Tell him that he is smart and that he will succeed. It is important to explain: a smart person is not the one who knows everything, but the one who asks questions and looks for answers to them.

- My child went to school and immediately began to study poorly. What to do?

- Pay attention to his relationship with the first teacher. Perhaps they are conflicting or traumatic. I knew a child who watched a film about Beslan in the first grade - he associated certain everyday aspects of the school with this terrorist attack. He was afraid to remain alone in the school corridor - he could not be kicked out of the office, this caused panic. When the parents and the teacher found this out, the situation improved.

Also clarify a few things. Does the child read the tasks and instructions to the end? Some children do not have the patience to finish reading the assignment - they do it incorrectly and get bad grades. It seems to them that everything is already clear, there is nothing to delve into.

Does the child check the work before handing it in? Some children, having had a negative experience, subsequently fear failure and do not want to check the work. They prefer to pass as is, just not to face mistakes and a sense of self-doubt. In this case, you need to work with self-esteem and fear of failure.

Often first graders who have been out of school for half a year, three quarters, all already need their parents to do their homework. Sit next to the child and also solve problems, mind your own business - it is useful when the child sees that the parent is also solving problems. It can be work papers or smart tasks. It is important that you show the child an example, and he feels your support, a shoulder nearby.

— What should I do if my child starts doing poorly in secondary school?

— Check if the child is coping with household chores and schedule changes. Does he need a break for hygiene, a snack, a trip to the next office and rest? Did he remember all the teachers?

Pay attention to the relationship with classmates. In the fifth grade, relationships with peers already have a lot of knowledge. Often the first teacher in elementary school seems to be a protector and savior, who can be turned to in conflict with children. When moving to high school, the protector disappears. If a child is called names or harsh jokes, it seems to him that he is alone and there is no one to protect him.

— What to do when it comes to high school?

- This happens if interest has shifted towards relationships with peers. Enter into an agreement with the teenager with the condition not to throw objects that he used to like. Discuss how the child will benefit from compliance, how the parents will benefit, and see to it that the conditions are met. This agreement should spell out specific actions, specific assessments, specific knowledge.

For example, I knew a teenager who did not want to study mathematics, but he agreed with his mother that his friend would help him with mathematics. The friend was older, an engineering student, and he was actually able to explain the math, which improved his grades. Communication with a friend, his support and knowledge helped the teenager normalize his grades.

If your child is not doing well in high school, it is better to focus on important subjects rather than chasing everyone. In any case, support him, say that you are there, do not leave him and do not consider him a loser. In addition, it is useful to discuss personal motives and perspectives. Many high school students do not understand why they need to study, work, start a family. The reason is not laziness or unwillingness to do something, but youthful maximalism, social pressure and the desire to be different from everyone else. Discuss that work, family, higher education is always a choice. There are other options.

From personal experience: when I was a teenager, I always argued with my mother that I didn't go out very much. Mom did not let me go out, but forced me to study and do homework. I did not understand why I was doing this and what it would give me. One day she could not stand it and said: “Do you want to take a walk? Go for a walk". I went for a walk and returned 15 minutes later - it was a sufficient moment of freedom that was provided to me.

— Should children be punished for bad grades?

- No, it's definitely not worth punishing. It is important that the child understands that there are consequences for bad grades. There are repercussions at school, and quite possibly repercussions at home. For example, a mother may become upset, and this is an obvious consequence that is associated with evaluation. It is important that the consequences be commensurate with the benefit that the child will receive from a good mark. If you feel that he is not confident in himself, it is better that there is not a punishment system, but a reward system. But the conditions must be determined before the precedent, and the child must clearly understand the rules, then this does not spoil the relationship, but creates a transparent system.

- A few words of farewell.

— I recently heard from parents about an amazing system of supporting a child in learning. The child agreed with his mother that for specific actions he receives pluses, he accumulates these pluses and exchanges them for going to the cinema, for buying additional ice cream.