How to help my child with odd
How to Discipline a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder: ODD Help
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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in Children
Every parent of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) knows what it’s like to troubleshoot behavior problems — your child saying no to requests or blurting out disrespectful retorts.
Children with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) take defiant behavior to the extreme. They have a pattern of angry, violent, and disruptive behaviors toward parents, caretakers, and other authority figures. These children require smart, specific oppositional defiant disorder strategies — and more than their fair share of patience.
“Choose your battles carefully, and find humor in every situation.” -Robin, Colorado
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ODD and ADHD: Stats and Facts
Forty percent of children with ADHD also develop ODD. Before puberty, ODD is more common in boys; after puberty, it is equally common in both genders. About half of all preschoolers diagnosed with ODD outgrow the problem by age eight. Older kids with ODD are less likely to outgrow it. Oppositional defiant disorder may persist into adulthood.
"It is imperative to believe in yourself and to see your child as an asset to the world.” -Ruth Ann, Ohio
Parent Discipline to Deal with a child with ADHD and ODD3 of 12
ODD and ADHD: The Links
A child’s oppositional behaviors aren’t intentional. Experts think that ODD is linked to intense impulsivity. Not being able to control impulses, combined with the stress and frustration of trying to get on top of ADHD symptoms every day, lead some children to lash out, physically and verbally.
[Symptom Test: Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Children]
A child with ODD and ADHD will need specialized attention and a smart strategy to parent.4 of 12
How to Diagnose a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Every child will act out and test his boundaries. It may be hard to know whether a child is normally defiant or has ODD. Consult a therapist trained in childhood behavioral problems. He should also screen for anxiety and mood disorders — each of which may cause oppositional behavior. Left untreated, ODD can evolve into conduct disorder, a more serious behavioral problem.
“Disengage when he is out of control, wait for the 'crazy' to stop, and re-approach.” -Cheryl, New Jersey
A sad child lies on the gravel of a school playground.5 of 12
How to Treat a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Treatment strategies for co-existing ODD and ADHD start with controlling ADHD symptoms. When a child’s hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and inattention are reduced, there is usually an improvement in ODD symptoms. Stimulant medications have been shown to decrease ADHD symptoms, as well as those of ODD, by up to 50 percent.
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How to Discipline a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
If a child with ODD doesn’t respond well to stimulants, some doctors prescribe the non-stimulant atomoxetine (brand name: Strattera). In one study, researchers found that the medication significantly reduced ODD and ADHD symptoms. However, higher doses of the medication were needed to control symptoms.
[Free Download: Why Is My Child So Defiant?]
Adult man screams at a child. Father is angry at his son. Silhouettes of parent and child. Education, punishment, suppression, abuse, growing up.7 of 12
Change a Child’s Behavior — by Changing Yours
The treatment of choice for ODD is parent management training. Parents are taught to change their reactions to a child’s behavior — good and bad. Training involves using carrots and sticks — giving well-defined rewards and praise when your child cooperates, and consequences for misbehavior. Therapists will also work with a parent and child together to solve specific challenges.
“I am strong-willed as well, so it has been a battle of the wills. But instead of trying to change my daughter, I changed myself. It wasn’t easy, but when she became defiant, I said to myself, “I will not buy a ticket to this show.” I ignored her, no matter how she tried to pull me in. She stopped almost immediately.” -Ramona, Florida
Get Everyone on the Same Page: Parent Discipline When Dealing with a Child with ODD and ADHD8 of 12
ODD Discipline in Three Steps
ODD experts find the following strategy effective for parents: Ask your child with ODD calmly to do something. If he doesn’t respond to you in two minutes, gently tell him, “I’m asking you a second time. Do you know what I’m asking you to do — and the consequences if you don’t? Please make a smart decision.”
If you have to ask a third time, he suffers the pre-arranged consequence — no TV or video games for an hour. Whatever it is, the consequence should fit the misbehavior for it to matter to your child.
“Including my teenage son in the conversation and allowing him to help formulate a plan gives him ownership of his behavior.” -Stephanie, New York
mother and boy with ADHD talking about his behavior, using the one-minute “think through” tool9 of 12
Get Everyone on the Same Page
For behavior therapy to work, all of the caring adults in the child's life should use the same discipline strategies that you do. Grandparents, teachers, nannies, and other adults who spend time alone with your child with oppositional defiant disorder must understand which carrots and sticks you use and, above all, use them consistently. If one of them gives into your child’s bad behavior, it can undermine your discipline program.
“Both parents need to support each other and be on the same page.” -An ADDitude Reader
Mindfulness also helps when dealing with angry outbursts. Children with ADHD or ODD can be rude, defiant, and sometimes downright obnoxious. How do parents keep their cool? Mindfulness teaches you that the only person you can control in any confrontation is yourself. If you regroup and focus on your breathing before you react, you’ll find yourself […]10 of 12
Do Not Take ODD Personally
It is difficult for a parent to remain calm when a child with ODD is verbally abusing her, but don’t overreact. Yelling or spanking may worsen a child’s oppositional behaviors. Stay calm and emotionally neutral amid your child’s defiance.
Oppositional kids have radar for adult hostility. If they pick up your anger, they’re going to match it. Figure out your coping strategy ahead of time so that you can remain calm when triggered by your child's behaviors.
Parents with Children Playing Game at Home. Flat Cartoon Mother, Father and Two Daughter Different Ages Spending Time Together in Living Room. Happy Parenthood and Childhood. Vector Illustration11 of 12
Practice Positive Parenting
Helping parents learn to praise good behavior is one of the toughest challenges therapists face. Many parents are so focused on bad behavior that they stop reinforcing positive ones. A few tips for dealing with ODD in children:
- Specify the praiseworthy behavior
- Be enthusiastic while not overdoing it
- Finish up with a non-verbal gesture — a kiss on the cheek or a hug
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Be Creative and Be Consistent
The more creatively you tailor your program of rewards and punishments to your child’s specific abilities and needs, the better. Her needs change as she grows. Creativity is important, but consistency is vital to success. Consistency in the way you treat your child — setting rules, conveying expectations — is the key to parenting a child with ODD.
[Read This Now: Facts About Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD]
How to Parent a Defiant Child
Every parent of a defiant child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) knows what it’s like to deal with severe ADHD behavior problems — sometimes even the most well-behaved child lashes out, or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But almost half of all parents who have kids with ADHD live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis. For them, parenting a defiant child is a daily strain.
Severe ADHD Behavior and Oppositional Defiant Disorder Symptoms
40 percent of children with ADHD also develop oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), a condition marked by chronic aggression, frequent outbursts, and a tendency to argue, ignore requests, and engage in intentionally annoying behavior.1
How bad can it get? Consider these real-life children diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD:
- A 4-year-old who gleefully annoys her parents by blasting the TV at top volume as soon as she wakes up.
- A 7-year-old who shouts “No” to every request and who showers his parents with verbal abuse.
- An 11-year-old who punches a hole in the wall and then physically assaults his mother.
“These children are most comfortable when they’re in the middle of a conflict,” says Douglas Riley, Ph.D., author of The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder (#CommissionsEarned) and a child psychologist in Newport News, Virginia. “As soon as you begin arguing with them, you’re on their turf. They keep throwing out the bait, and their parents keep taking it — until finally the parents end up with the kid in family therapy, wondering where they’ve gone wrong.”
[Take This Self-Test: Could Your Child Have ODD?]
The strain of dealing with an oppositional child affects the entire family. The toll on the marital relationship can be especially severe. In part, this is because friends and relatives tend to blame the behavior on ‘bad parenting. ’ Inconsistent discipline may play a role in the development of ODD, but is rarely the sole cause. The unfortunate reality is that discipline strategies that work with neurotypical children simply don’t work with kids with ODD.
Fortunately, psychologists have developed effective behavior therapy for reining in even the most defiant child. It’s not always easy, but it can be done — typically with the help of specialized psychotherapy.
What Is the Link Between ADHD and ODD?
No one knows why so many kids with ADHD exhibit oppositional behavior. In many cases, however, oppositional behavior seems to be a manifestation of ADHD-related impulsivity.
[Download This Free Guide To Coping Mechanisms]
“Many kids with ADHD who are diagnosed with ODD are really showing oppositional characteristics by default,” says Houston-based child psychologist Carol Brady, Ph.D. “They misbehave not because they’re intentionally oppositional, but because they can’t control their impulses. ”
Another view is that oppositional behavior is simply a way for kids to cope with the frustration and emotional pain associated with having ADHD.
“When under stress — whether it’s because they have ADHD or their parents are getting divorced — a certain percentage of kids externalize their anxiety,” says Larry Silver, M.D., a psychiatrist at Georgetown University Medical School in Washington, D.C. “Everything becomes everyone else’s fault, and the child doesn’t take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.”
Riley agrees. “Children with ADHD know from a young age that they’re different from other kids,” he says. “They see themselves as getting in more trouble, and in some cases may have more difficulty mastering academic work — often despite an above-average intellect. So instead of feeling stupid, their defense is to feel cool. They hone their oppositional attitude.”
About half of all preschoolers diagnosed with ODD outgrow the problem by age 8. Older kids with ODD are less likely to outgrow it. And left untreated, oppositional behavior can evolve into conduct disorder, an even more serious behavioral problem marked by physical violence, stealing, running away from home, fire-setting, and other highly destructive and often illegal behaviors.
What Treatment Is Available to Manage My Defiant Child’s ODD & Severe ADHD Behavior?
Any child with ADHD who exhibits signs of oppositional behavior needs appropriate treatment that usually includes a combination of medication and family therapy. The first step is to make sure that the child’s ADHD is under control. “Since oppositional behavior is often related to stress,” says Silver, “you have to address the source of the stress — the ADHD symptoms — before turning to behavioral issues.”
Says Riley, “If a kid is so impulsive or distracted that he can’t focus on the therapies we use to treat oppositional behavior,” he says, “he isn’t going to get very far. And for many kids with ADHD and oppositional behavior, the stimulant medications are a kind of miracle. A lot of the bad behavior simply drops off.”
But ADHD medication is seldom all that’s needed to control oppositional behavior. If a child exhibits only mild or infrequent oppositional behavior, do-it-yourself behavior-modification techniques may well do the trick. But if the oppositional behavior is severe enough to disrupt life at home or school, it’s best to consult a family therapist trained in childhood behavioral problems.
The therapist should screen your child for anxiety and mood disorders. Each can cause oppositional behavior, and each calls for its own form of treatment. The therapist may also recommend cognitive therapy for the child, to help him cope effectively with difficult situations.
How Parent Training Can Help Kids with ODD Improve Their Behavior
In most cases, however, the treatment of choice for ODD is parent management training, in which the family therapist teaches the parents to change the ways they react to their child’s behavior — both good and bad. Between weekly sessions, the parents practice what they’ve learned, and report to the therapist on their progress.
“Basically, parent training is about carrots and sticks,” says Brady. “On the carrot end, you work on giving your child praise and rewards for cooperating. On the stick end, you lay out clear consequences for misbehavior, usually involving a time-out or the removal of a reward.”
Parent management training is often highly effective, with the child’s behavior improving dramatically in four out of five cases. Parents who undergo the training typically report greater marital satisfaction, as well as improved behavior from their other children.
While some parents balk at the notion that they are the ones in need of training, “they have to learn how to stop getting into the arena with the child and descending to the level of squabbling,” says Silver. Parents often feed the problem by delivering overly harsh or inconsistent discipline. Instead, parents must reassert their authority by setting up well-defined rewards and punishments, and then implementing them consistently and dispassionately.
“My most important rule is that parents should not take ODD behavior personally,” says Riley. “Remain calm and friendly whenever you intervene. Oppositional kids have radar for adult hostility. If they pick up your anger, they’re going to match it.”
Riley recommends a “two free requests” approach: “The first time you ask your child to do something, give him two minutes to respond. If he doesn’t obey, calmly tell him, ‘I’m now asking you a second time to pick up your coat. Do you understand what I’m asking you to do, and what the consequences are if you don’t? Please make a smart decision.’ If you have to ask a third time, the prearranged consequence kicks in — the TV goes off for an hour, or the video game is taken away.”
How Can Parents Focus On Good Behaviors?
Rewarding good behavior or punishing bad behavior isn’t a revolutionary concept, but with oppositional kids, it’s easier said than done. Parents must rein in their impulse to yell or spank. At the same time, they must learn how to substitute “non-aversive punishments” such as time-outs or the loss of privileges.
Many parents of oppositional children are so focused on bad behaviors that they’ve stopped reinforcing positive ones. Yet positive reinforcement is the heart and soul of parent management training.
“Invariably, parents come to treatment with the idea of suppressing, eliminating, or reducing problem behavior,” writes Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., in Parent Management Training (#CommissionsEarned), a manual for therapists. But according to Kazdin, director of Yale University’s Child Study Center in New Haven, Connecticut, parent training emphasizes the concept of “positive opposites” instead. “For example,” says Kazdin, “parents are asked what to do if they want their child to stop screaming, slamming the door, or throwing breakable objects. The answers involve reinforcing talking quietly, closing the door gently, and handling objects with care and not throwing them.”
Kazdin maintains that helping parents learn to praise good behavior is one of the toughest challenges therapists face. He says parents are often “hesitant to praise a behavior or to use reinforcers in general because they feel the behavior ought not require any intervention. ‘My child knows how to clean up his room, he just refuses to do it,’ is a typical parental comment.”
How Parents Can Offer More Effective Praise for a Defiant Child
When parents do offer praise, they should be enthusiastic. “An unenthusiastic statement of ‘Good’ is not likely to change child behavior,” says Kazdin. Praise should specify the praiseworthy behavior and, ideally, include some non-verbal gesture. For example, you might say, “It was wonderful the way you played so quietly while I was on the phone!” and then give your child a kiss.
Appropriate rewards and punishments vary from child to child. The more creatively you tailor your program to your child’s specific abilities and needs, the better. But as Russell Barkley, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, writes in Your Defiant Child (#CommissionsEarned), “Creativity is always an asset to child-rearing, but it can’t hold a candle to consistency. Consistency in the way you treat your child — the way you set rules, convey expectations, pay attention, encourage good behavior, and impose consequences for bad behavior — is the key to cleaning up your child’s act.”
Never lose sight of the fact that oppositional kids usually have a great deal to offer, once their behavior is under control. “Oppositional kids are also often quite engaging and bright,” says Riley. “They tend to be optimistic and very much their own person, with their own way of looking at the world. Once you work through their defiance, there’s a lot there to like.”
Parenting a Defiant Child: Next Steps
- Read: Facts About Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD
- Download: Kid-Friendly Mindful Meditation Exercises
- Understand: How to Discipline a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
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View Article Sources
1 Riley M, Ahmed S, Locke A. “Common Questions About Oppositional Defiant Disorder.” American Family Physician (Apr. 2016) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27035043
#CommissionsEarned
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Even and odd numbers
07/13/2022
Acquaintance with even and odd numbers usually occurs at senior preschool age. If your child already knows how to count within twenty, knows addition and subtraction, then it's time to explain to him how you can determine whether a number is even or not. This will help in the further study of arithmetic and mathematics.
Contents:
- Even numbers
- Odd numbers
- Even and odd: basic properties
- Even and odd number table
- 0 is an even number or not
- Game exercises
Even numbers
From the school course we know that even numbers are those that are evenly divisible by two. Preschool kids are not yet familiar with the division of numbers, it is best for them to explain the concept of even and odd not in theory, but using examples with sweets, apples or toys.
Take four sweets and ask your child to divide them into two equal piles - for himself and for his mother. Pay attention to the baby that in this case everyone will get two sweets.
Ask your child to do the same with other objects to reinforce understanding. You can lay out, for example, pencils, chips, cubes and any other even number of things.
Odd numbers
Odd numbers are divided by two with a remainder. Take three apples and ask the baby to divide them equally among you. Very soon the kid will come to the conclusion that this is impossible.
Even and odd: basic properties
Explain some simple life hacks to your child:
- Odd and even numbers alternate. One is odd, so two is even, three is odd, and so on.
- To understand whether a two-digit or multi-digit number belongs to even numbers, you can use the last digit. It must be 0, 2, 4, 6 or 8.
- Odd numbers end with 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9.
If the child is already familiar with arithmetic, he will be interested in learning the following properties:
- Adding two even numbers gives an even number: 4+2 = 6.
- If an odd number is added to an even number, then the result will be odd: 2+1 = 3.
- If you multiply an even number by any other number, the result will also be even: 2 x 3 = 6.
- If you multiply two odd numbers, you get an odd result: 3 x 5 = 15.
Odd and Even Number Chart
It is convenient to use the Odd and Even Number Chart to help your child quickly identify which number is in front of you. In it, even elements are highlighted in bold in each row.
Preschoolers can usually count to 20 with confidence. A large table will confuse them.
one | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
eleven | 12 | 13 | 14 | fifteen | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
For schoolchildren, a table from 1 to 100 is suitable.
one | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
eleven | 12 | 13 | 14 | fifteen | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 |
41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 |
51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |
61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 |
71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 |
81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 |
91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 |
0 is an even number or not
Mathematical theory says that zero refers to even numbers. This fact can be explained to a child in three ways:
- Odd and even numbers alternate, and zero comes before one, which is an odd number. So 0 is an even number.
- If the number ends in zero, then this is a sign of parity. Accordingly, 0 itself is even.
- Zero is divisible by two without a remainder. Therefore, it is referred to as an even number.
Game exercises
To reinforce knowledge, use the concept of even and odd numbers in games and puzzles. For example, play odd-even. Call the numbers and ask the baby to clap their hands if it is even. And if you name an odd number, he must stamp his foot.
While walking, ask your child if the number of a house, car, city bus or minibus is even or odd. Print pictures from the Internet with balloons or other items that show numbers. Ask them to color even-numbered items blue and odd-numbered items red.
Read also:
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Balloons are an excellent material for room decor, but also for handicrafts, for example, this is a suitable blank for a toy airship. And with their help, you can learn the basics of physics!
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11/18/2022
Mathematics is a fairly complex academic subject, and difficulties with it may arise already in elementary school. But you can help your child! Here are some tips to help your student master math.
9 ways to entertain a child in a traffic jam or queue. And no gadgets!
Small children do not like to wait, it is difficult for them to sit in one place and occupy themselves. A long road or a queue can turn into another quest for parents. How and what to do with a child if you have a long wait, they told in the FrutoNanny blog.
Of course, the easiest way is to give a phone with games and/or cartoons. But there is a danger here: in transport, a child who looks at the screen can get sick. In queues, the phone can captivate the child too much: you already have to go to the pediatrician, but he still hasn’t finished watching Smeshariki. What is the result? Scandal, tears, bad mood. We offer you several games that will help pass the time and become an alternative to gadgets.
1. "I see..."
A classic game that can be played for five minutes or two hours. Players take turns choosing an object (person, animal, or whatever) in view and describing it in a few words (e.g., "I see something big and green"). The other player must ask clarifying questions about what this item looks like and try to guess it. The task with an asterisk is to ask questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”. For example: “Is this a car?”, “A truck?”
2. Make a word
Players take turns calling letters to form a word (you are 'a', the child is 'b', you are 'r', the child is 'i', and so on). For a more difficult version of the game, set the goal to make the longest word. The player who says the last letter and finishes the word is considered the loser. Of course, there should be no "punishment" for the losers in this game.
Photo: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock/Fotodom3. Play with lids
Pouched purée lids, such as FrutoNyanya berry or fruit puree, can be great material to play with young children. Mashed potatoes are a tasty and healthy snack on the road (and an additional distraction), but the lids from it are a great way to entertain a child. You can play with them in different ways. Take a book on the road and ask them to find a cap of a similar color with illustrations in it, or play a version of "Pebbles", where players take turns guessing whether an even or odd number of caps are hidden behind their backs. By the way, the last game will help to teach the child not only to distinguish colors, but also to practice counting.
4. A moment of silence!
Silence is a favorite game of parents. But for a whole minute not laughing and/or not talking is a very long time for children. But it will be easier to be silent if you give your child a watch and explain that a minute is really not much: the big hand will make one full circle, and the minute has passed! Whoever speaks first, fulfills the desire of the other.
5. Interesting booklets
In hospitals or banks, you can read and read booklets (someone has to look at them!), and at the same time tell the child in detail about how this place works and what the employees do. Career guidance and leisure - two in one!
Photo: Zhuravlev Andrey / Shutterstock / Fotodom6. What is this figure?
The child is standing or sitting in front of you, and you draw figures, objects or letters on his back with your finger: a circle, a square, a house - and ask him to guess what it is. By the way, if you draw letters or numbers, you again get both an interesting and useful activity: the child calmly waits, and at the same time repeats the count and the alphabet.
7. Guessing games
Easy, fast, simple! Invite the child to guess what color the car will pass the bus window first, or, for example, what object is clenched in the parent's fist. There are many variations of guessing games, so we advise you to “collect” them in advance in case of a long wait. Such games teach the child that not everything in life can be predicted.
8. Remember more!
Similar exercises train the memory well. Look closely at something (or someone) for about half a minute. Then turn away and list in your mind what you noticed and remembered. Invite the child to do the same in relation to another object. Ask clarifying questions to each other in turn and find out who remembered more details about their object. For example, how many people are standing at the pole? How many of them are men? Have children? What are they doing? Which way are they looking? Who is holding the package? By the way, we remember best what interests us the most. Pay attention to what interests your child the most, and what interests you. Have you noticed that these are usually different parts? This is another proof of how children's interests differ from adults'.
Photo: Standret / Shutterstock / Fotodom9. Funny rhymes
Write poetry, and if it doesn't work out right away, just come up with all sorts of rhymes for the names of objects / animals / buildings that you see right in front of you. For example, "bananas" - "put in pockets", "bug" - "red shirt". Then try to compose stanzas according to the given rhymes (“Here is a bug crawling in a red shirt”). By the way, it’s a good idea to always have a notepad and pen with you. What if a small masterpiece comes out?
Do you know in advance that you will have to sit in line with your child for some time? Try to get ready and think about how to distract him. Bring along a sticker book or coloring crayons, a healthy snack, spider lids. This will help you spend that quality time with your child: when there is only you and him, without gadgets, household chores and other distractions.