How to handle your child being a bully

What Kids Can Do | StopBullying.gov

Are you being bullied? Do you see bullying at your school? There are things you can do to keep yourself and the kids you know safe from bullying.

Treat Everyone with Respect
What to Do If You’re Bullied
Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying
Stand Up for Others
Get Involved

Treat Everyone with Respect

Nobody should be mean to others.

Stop and think before you say or do something that could hurt someone.
If you feel like being mean to someone, find something else to do. Play a game, watch TV, or talk to a friend.
Talk to an adult you trust. They can help you find ways to be nicer to others.
Keep in mind that everyone is different. Not better or worse. Just different.
If you think you have bullied someone in the past, apologize. Everyone feels better.

What to Do If You’re Bullied

There are things you can do if you are being bullied:

Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. You can also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard.
If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don’t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot.

There are things you can do to stay safe in the future, too.

Talk to an adult you trust. Don’t keep your feelings inside. Telling someone can help you feel less alone. They can help you make a plan to stop the bullying.
Stay away from places where bullying happens.
Stay near adults and other kids. Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around.

Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying

Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or emails. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being kind to others online will help to keep you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt or embarrass anyone.
Keep your password a secret from other kids. Even kids that seem like friends could give your password away or use it in ways you don’t want. Let your parents have your passwords.
Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what.
Keep your parents in the loop. Tell them what you’re doing online and who you’re doing it with. Let them friend or follow you. Listen to what they have to say about what is and isn’t okay to do. They care about you and want you to be safe.
Talk to an adult you trust about any messages you get or things you see online that make you sad or scared. If it is cyberbullying, report it.

Stand Up for Others

When you see bullying, there are safe things you can do to make it stop.

Talk to a parent, teacher, or another adult you trust. Adults need to know when bad things happen so they can help.
Be kind to the kid being bullied. Show them that you care by trying to include them. Sit with them at lunch or on the bus, talk to them at school, or invite them to do something. Just hanging out with them will help them know they aren’t alone.

Not saying anything could make it worse for everyone. The kid who is bullying will think it is ok to keep treating others that way.

Get Involved

You can be a leader in preventing bullying in your community.

Find out more about where and when bullying happens at your school. Think about what could help. Then, share your ideas. There is a good chance that adults don’t know all of what happens. Your friends can go with you to talk to a teacher, counselor, coach, or parent and can add what they think.
Talk to the principal about getting involved at school. Schools sometimes give students a voice in programs to stop bullying. Be on a school safety committee. Create posters for your school about bullying. Be a role model for younger kids.
Write a blog, letter to the editor of your local newspaper, or tweet about bullying.

Facts About Bullying | StopBullying.gov

This section pulls together fundamental information about bullying, including:

Definition
Research on Bullying
Bullying Statistics
Bullying and Suicide
Anti-Bullying Laws

Definition of Bullying

In 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Department of Education released the first federal definition of bullying. The definition includes three core elements:

unwanted aggressive behavior
observed or perceived power imbalance
repetition or high likelihood of repetition of bullying behaviors

This definition helps determine whether an incident is bullying or another type of aggressive behavior or both.

Research on Bullying

Bullying prevention is a growing research field that investigates the complexities and consequences of bullying. Important areas for more research include:

Prevalence of bullying in schools
Prevalence of cyberbullying in online spaces
How bullying affects people
Risk factors for people who are bullied, people who bully others, or both
How to prevent bullying
How media and media coverage affects bullying

What We’ve Learned about Bullying

Bullying affects all youth, including those who are bullied, those who bully others, and those who witness bullying. The effects of bullying may continue into adulthood.
There is not a single profile of a young person involved in bullying. Youth who bully can be either well connected socially or marginalized, and may be bullied by others as well. Similarly, those who are bullied sometimes bully others.
Solutions to bullying are not simple. Bullying prevention approaches that show the most promise confront the problem from many angles. They involve the entire school community—students, families, administrators, teachers, and staff such as bus drivers, nurses, cafeteria and front office staff—in creating a culture of respect. Zero tolerance and expulsion are not effective approaches.
Bystanders, or those who see bullying, can make a huge difference when they intervene on behalf of someone being bullied.
Studies also have shown that adults can help prevent bullying by talking to children about bullying, encouraging them to do what they love, modeling kindness and respect, and seeking help.

Bullying Statistics

Here are federal statistics about bullying in the United States. Data sources include the Indicators of School Crime and Safety: 2019 (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) and the 2017 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

How Common Is Bullying

About 20% of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying nationwide.
Students ages 12–18 who reported being bullied said they thought those who bullied them:
- Had the ability to influence other students’ perception of them (56%).
- Had more social influence (50%).
- Were physically stronger or larger (40%).
- Had more money (31%).

Bullying in Schools

Nationwide, 19% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property in the 12 months prior to the survey.
The following percentages of students ages 12-18 had experienced bullying in various places at school:
- Hallway or stairwell (43. 4%)
- Classroom (42.1%)
- Cafeteria (26.8%)
- Outside on school grounds (21.9%)
- Online or text (15.3%)
- Bathroom or locker room (12.1%)
- Somewhere else in the school building (2.1%)
Approximately 46% of students ages 12-18 who were bullied during the school year notified an adult at school about the bullying.

Cyberbullying

Among students ages 12-18 who reported being bullied at school during the school year, 15 % were bullied online or by text.
An estimated 14.9% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey.

Types of Bullying

Students ages 12-18 experienced various types of bullying, including:

- Being the subject of rumors or lies (13. 4%)
- Being made fun of, called names, or insulted (13.0%)
- Pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on (5.3%)
- Leaving out/exclusion (5.2%)
- Threatened with harm (3.9%)
- Others tried to make them do things they did not want to do (1.9%)
- Property was destroyed on purpose (1.4%)

State and Local Statistics

Follow these links for state and local figures on the following topics:

Bullied on School Property, Grades 9-12
Cyberbullied, Grades 9-12

International Statistics

According to the UNESCO Institute of Statistics:

One third of the globe’s youth is bullied; this ranges from as low as 7% in Tajikistan to 74% in Samoa.
Low socioeconomic status is a main factor in youth bullying within wealthy countries.
Immigrant-born youth in wealthy countries are more likely to be bullied than locally-born youth.

Bullying and Suicide

The relationship between bullying and suicide is complex. The media should avoid oversimplifying these issues and insinuating or directly stating that bullying can cause suicide. The facts tell a different story. It is not accurate and potentially dangerous to present bullying as the “cause” or “reason” for a suicide, or to suggest that suicide is a natural response to bullying.

Research indicates that persistent bullying can lead to or worsen feelings of isolation, rejection, exclusion, and despair, as well as depression and anxiety, which can contribute to suicidal behavior.
The vast majority of young people who are bullied do not become suicidal.
Most young people who die by suicide have multiple risk factors.
For more information on the relationship between bullying and suicide, read “The Relationship Between Bullying and Suicide: What We Know and What it Means for Schools” from the CDC.

Anti-Bullying Laws

All states have anti-bullying legislation. When bullying is also harassment and happens in the school context, schools have a legal obligation to respond to it according to federal laws.

10 surefire ways to turn your child into a bully | BuyMama Moscow

Bullying, or bullying, is a serious problem in homes, yards and schools around the world. Many parents recognize that their children can be bullied by their peers and work hard to prevent this from happening. But it turns out that not many parents are ready to admit that it is their child who is the same bully.

Often children who bully others experience emotions that are expressed in aggressive behavior simply because they see that such behavior is effective. So they can get what they want.

The very first step for the parents of a bully is to recognize the fact itself. And then fight it.

10. Beat your children.

Child refuses to eat soup again? Made a tantrum? Pinch him more painfully so that he understands that this cannot be done.
What will it teach him? You can hit people when you're angry or upset.

9. Spousal abuse

Even if you do not beat children, but your partner allows himself to raise his hand against you, and the child sees this, then he will learn violence and aggression. The monkey sees - the monkey does.
Children who grow up in a home where spousal abuse occurs believe that this is a normal way to deal with their emotions.

8. Insults and threats

When mom or dad screams in a fit of anger: "You're useless!" "You are a bad girl!" "You're silly!" "Stupid!" "Why aren't you as smart as your brother?!" "You will never learn anything!"
These insults and threats do not leave marks on the body, but they leave emotional scars. Children take such words seriously, because their parents say it.
What will it teach him? First, with your insults, you can greatly expand your child's vocabulary. Secondly, he will learn to deal with his emotions with yelling and insults. This is also bullying, also hooligan behavior.

7. Neglect your children

Sometimes ignoring a child can be an effective way to deal with a tantrum. After all, it teaches that what they are doing is not working. And that they are more likely to get a positive response if they approach the situation calmly. However, there is a rather thin line between ignoring a child and completely neglecting it.
Neglect of a child is a complete disregard for his needs. This can hurt the child because among his basic needs is the need for love and attention from parents. To achieve this attention, children may engage in bad behavior, as it is much more likely to elicit at least some kind of parental response.

6. Scold other people

You may not hit your children, your partner may not hit you. Maybe you do not insult the child and do not threaten him. Maybe you radiate positivity and love.
However, be careful not to scold or insult other people, especially in the presence of a child.
If a child hears his mother calling a colleague at work fat, or his father says that your neighbor is a terrorist because he is a Muslim. After all, it teaches children to treat people who are not like him bad.
It is important to be aware of your biases and try not to pass them on to your children. Teach your child to understand others. This will make the world a better place.

5. Don't listen to children

When a child does something wrong, the automatic response is punishment. While this may help discipline the child, it is also important to listen. Talk to them about their behavior and then listen to what they have to say. Of course, the child will not always have a good reason. After all, he is still a child.
And even outside the context of discipline, make time for the child, talk to him. In this way, he knows that he is appreciated and therefore he learns to appreciate others.
Compare this to a child who is not being listened to, who is simply being punished, whose thoughts are not appreciated. A child who is not listened to will not listen to others.

4. Reward macho behavior

Tell boys not to cry, not to act like a girl. They should like guns and cars, no dolls, no "girly" things.
Many parents do not know this, but it is this kind of upbringing that makes boys the bullies on the playground.
It's not that the child wants to offend someone. He believes that he must act in this way. Things like being sensitive, listening to others, that's for girls. The boy must act.
It would be better to avoid these gender stereotypes in education.

3. Obsession with material things

Don't get us wrong, having a lot of material stuff is great. But material things should not take precedence over other, more important things, such as respect, discipline, honesty, and kindness.
When children learn this, it will make them good people. And then it won't matter that Katya's notebook is prettier than hers. And Sasha has collected a complete set of Avengers figurines. It will be possible not to envy them, it will be possible not to intimidate them, not to try to take away what you do not have.

2. Forget about teaching basic social skills

All children should be taught basic social skills. They include the standard "please" and "thank you", "hello" and "sorry".
However, learning how to become a decent person does not end there.
It is also important to teach children about respect and boundaries. Teach them not to touch anyone without permission. And in turn, no one should touch them without permission. Such upbringing not only teaches them not to become bullies, but also helps them learn to respect themselves and others.

1. Forget discipline

Discipline is an important part of raising a child. But this is easy to forget if we want children to love us. Keep in mind that a parent's job is not to be nice and loved. It is about educating.
You can forget about discipline, but this will affect not only the short-term behavior of the child, but also his future as a whole.
Good discipline is a way to teach a child control. He will begin to understand that he will not always get what he wants. That he sometimes has to wait his turn. This will upset him, but over time he will learn to control his emotions.

How to help your child cope with a bully

Many schools conduct surveys of children about friendships and relationships. As statistics show, in every school there is bullying - this is bullying, intimidation and bullying. Even a single bully can poison the life of a class, or even the entire school. For some children, riding the school bus or going to recess becomes a real nightmare. In some situations, everything turns to beatings, violence. Such emotional traumas cannot be healed for years, and they remain with the child for life.

If parents notice that their child is being bullied, there are ways to stop and neutralize the nightmare. And if such attacks do not concern your child at the moment, it is still important to discuss such situations in order to prevent them in the future.

Every person in childhood was bothered by brothers and sisters, teased by neighbors. If everything happens in a comic form and does not offend, then this is considered a kind of pampering. But when words and phrases become malicious, offensive and even scary, then this turns into a mockery that must be urgently stopped.

Bullying is bullying at school, any kind of bullying :

physical;
verbal;
psychological.

Such bullying can be not only verbal, but also end with the taking of money, personal belongings, and beatings. Many now use social media, e-mail, to taunt others.

It is very important for parents not to dismiss the situation, because the severe consequences of bullying can affect self-esteem and future relationships. It also happens that bullying ends in shooting.

Why did the children become so angry? What pushes them on the path of bullying others?

There are many reasons: they look for a weaker victim in order to feel their power and strength, others bully their peers because they were treated that way. Such children consider aggressive behavior to be commonplace, as they see it at home, watch programs that promote violence.

It is very difficult to prove bullying if the child does not talk about it, and there is no sign of violence. But, there are signs showing that the child is being bullied. The child's behavior changes, sleep is disturbed, the child refuses to enjoy previously enjoyable activities. The child is depressed, may avoid public places, school. If a parent suspects that the child is being bullied, you can lead him into a conversation in a roundabout way. It is best to discuss such a program with leading questions or tell the story of your childhood.

Children should know that if they or someone they know is being bullied, they should definitely talk about it. You can tell your parents, friend, teacher, psychologist.

How can you help your child?

If a parent hears a story about a bully, it is worth focusing on support, no matter how upset the household is. The offended child does not want to share his experiences because he feels humiliated, they are afraid of the mischievous revenge.

It is worth praising the child for his courage, telling him that people often receive a portion of bullying. Convey that the child does not act badly, the evil behavior of a bully. Be sure to convince your son or daughter that you will find a solution to the problem or come up with a way to act in such situations.

Very often older brothers and sisters help in a difficult situation. Older children are more familiar with the school situation and know all the bullies.

It is worth trusting the words of the child that if the bully finds out about the complaints, it will be even worse. In some cases, you need to talk to the offender's parents. In other situations, it is worth informing the school teacher or head teacher. If all methods have been exhausted and there is a conversation with parents, then it is best to conduct it with representatives of the school.

Find out if there are rules about bullying in your child's school, as many countries even have laws. If the concerns are so serious, then you should contact the law enforcement agencies.

It is impossible to leave a child without advice. It is worth developing a strategy on how to fight back a bully and increase your own self-esteem. To begin with, it is worth offering to fight back the brawler. Sometimes this tactic is useful. But, most importantly, to teach not to respond to bullying with a fight. This can escalate into real violence. It is best to move away from a difficult situation, communicate with others and tell everything to adults.