How to get your child skipped a grade
How to Skip Grades: Moving Through the Process
When we think about our years in school, we often remember our favorite teachers or the best moments from a particular grade. If you’re thinking about your child skipping a grade, it’s normal to worry that they’ll miss out on something. Every year of school helped shape you in some way.
But even though it’s not that common, skipping a year may be what’s best for your child.
Skipping a grade, or grade acceleration, is an option for students who aren’t being challenged academically. Like many other countries, the American school system groups students into grades based on age rather than development or skill level. So students performing above or below grade level is a common problem.
If grade skipping can feel like a huge decision, we get it! We’re here to help you ease your fears and decide the best course for your child.
Read on to find out what it means to skip a grade, who should skip a grade and what to think about before making your decision. Plus, learn how to start the grade-skipping process.
Skipping a grade: what does it mean and who should do it?
Skipping a grade is a solution for academically-gifted students who feel unchallenged by their current grade level’s curriculum. Many times they’ve already mastered the skills and concepts other students are just beginning to grasp.
Students most often skip only one grade. For example, you may choose for your child to skip first grade and go straight from kindergarten to second. It’s also common for a child to skip second grade, moving from first into third.
This single-year skipping keeps the student from feeling too distanced from their peers. Plus, they’re more challenged by the curriculum without feeling overwhelmed.
If a student is still not academically challenged after skipping a grade, a different alternative needs to be explored.
Students ready to skip a grade will often finish their classroom work quickly, leaving them feeling bored at school.
This boredom can sometimes translate into disruptive behavior as they’re waiting for others to catch up. Or even worse, boredom in the classroom can cause a lack of excitement for learning.
Did you know?
Our online math game for kids, Prodigy Math, features a grade override tool.
This tool lets parents choose what grade level they want their child to practice math at – all while they have fun building math skills in our engaging game!
See how it works
What to consider before skipping a grade
If you feel your child is bored in their current classroom, skipping a grade may be a good choice. But even if your child is advancing ahead of other kids in their class, you may want to think about the following factors before you make the jump.
Motor skill development
In the early years of your child’s education (namely kindergarten, first grade, and second grade), motor skills play a huge role in their day.
Students are learning handwriting, drawing, cutting, running, throwing, and catching. And many of these skills are more age-dependent than basic reading and math skills.
It’s best for a grade-skipping student to have the same motor skills as the kids in their new grade. Your child will need to be able to cut out shapes and draw pictures at grade level, as well as go to the bathroom independently and dress themselves. They’ll also need to keep up in physical education classes and after-school sports with their slightly older peers.
Adequate motor skills ensure they don’t fall behind in their new classroom. But equally important — being able to participate in art and outdoor activities with the older kids will help them not feel left out socially.
The emotional and social impact
There are significant social and emotional challenges when trying to make friends with a whole new class. Students who skip a grade may feel ostracized or intimidated trying to befriend their new (and older) classmates.
And they may simply miss their old friends.
Developmental differences are starker in younger students, meaning a missed year of social and emotional maturation is more obvious. Your younger child may be less equipped to handle tense social situations or read social cues.
For some kids, this emotional challenge outweighs the academic benefits of skipping a grade. In this case, it may be better to find other ways your child can be challenged in their current grade. Or try seeking out advanced academic opportunities outside of the classroom.
Is skipping a grade bad for kids? Here's what one study found.
While some parents and educators are concerned about the psychological risks of having kids skip a grade, they may not need to worry.
One 35-year-long study monitored more than 1,000 students who had their education accelerated and investigated if it had an impact on their mental and emotional state. They found no relationship between accelerating a child's education and their long-term psychological well-being.
Effect on free time
If your child was easily coasting through school before, the extra homework and studying in their new grade can be shocking.
While it’s totally possible to adjust, it may mean rearranging your family’s schedule so your child has more time to complete their homework and test prep.
For instance, your child might have to cut back on extra-curricular activities or time spent hanging out with friends. For younger ages, this is less of a concern. But in older grade levels, this can be hard and make them feel isolated.
And remember — it’s still important to find balance. Your child needs time to relax, especially with the added stress of skipping a grade. So be careful to not overschedule their day. Try to focus on prioritizing their mental and physical health during this transition. And before long they’ll be not only adjusted, but thriving.
How to start the process for skipping a grade level
While many parents share similar reasons for having their child skip a grade, how the process happens will be unique to your child’s situation.
This is because each school district has its own procedures and steps that need to be completed.
Here is how skipping a grade generally works in schools across the US:
1. You send in a written request
Most schools require a written request or form with your child’s name, grade, and information on why they want to skip a particular grade.
2. You meet with professionals
You’ll find yourself speaking with guidance counselors, teachers, or school psychologists — someone who has worked with your child and is aware of their needs. They’ll help compile reports on your child’s academic, social, and emotional states of readiness for skipping a grade.
3. There is a review of your child's academic achievement or test scores
Your child's grades and test scores will likely be reviewed during this process. You can also highlight academic activities they practice in and out of the classroom.
4. Educators meet with your child
Skipping a grade is a big change.
Most school districts will want to speak directly with your child to make sure they understand what’s happening and that they’re on board with the plan.
5. Officials evaluate your child’s emotional and social readiness
As discussed above, academics aren’t the only factor to consider when skipping a grade. School officials will want to know that you and a professional have evaluated your child for the emotional and social readiness needed at the higher grade level.
6. You discuss reasons why their current grade is holding them back
School professionals need to know the reasons why your child’s current grade is holding them back. This may include boredom, lack of excitement to learn, or disruptive behavior due to a lack of academic challenge.
7. The school gives their recommendation on skipping a grade
Once all the evaluations and meetings are complete, the school’s professionals will share their recommendations. If they don’t recommend skipping a grade, no worries.
Read on for other options that may be a better fit for your child.
When is the best time to skip a grade?
The absolute best time for your child to skip a grade depends on their unique development.
In general, the earlier a child skips a grade, the better. Skipping kindergarten or a grade in elementary school is typically less difficult socially than skipping a grade in middle school or high school.
In terms of the time of year, it’s much easier for the child to skip a grade before a school year begins rather than in the middle of the year. This way they don’t feel lost jumping into the middle of a new class’s curriculum and can naturally start out in a new class without feeling like ‘the new kid’.
Alternatives to skipping a grade level
If the school administrators deny your request, or you decide that skipping a grade is not the best choice, don’t worry! Your child can still get the academic challenges they need elsewhere.
Try out some these alternatives to skipping a grade level:
Advanced classes
Especially in later grades, like middle and high school, advanced classes are a great option.
These classes have more challenging curriculum taught at a faster pace. You can even look for dual-enrollment programs that allow high schoolers to take college classes for credit.
Gifted programs
Gifted programs are educational programs that group together a small number of academically advanced students. This group, taught by a special teacher, learns with a much more rigorous academic curriculum. And individualized attention can make a huge difference in school satisfaction.
Ability grouping
Ability grouping is the practice of splitting an entire class, or even a full grade, into groups based on their academic abilities. This is often done based on reading levels so instructors can provide more specific instruction and feedback.
Subject-matter acceleration
If your child really excels in one or two subjects, subject-matter acceleration can be a great option. With this practice, a student will move to a higher-grade classroom for just specific subjects, such as science or math.
Homeschooling
Homeschooling provides an opportunity to uniquely cater each subject to your child’s ability level and interests. It allows you to push hard when your child excels and slow down when they need more help. It also opens up more time to individual pursuits, such as coding or arts.
Prepare your child for any challenge with extra help from Prodigy
Whether you decide it’s best for your child to skip a grade or not, you can find the extra support you need with Prodigy’s game-based learning platforms.
Our most popular game, Prodigy Math, uses a powerful algorithm to help kids build key math skills they’re learning at school. They’ll practice curriculum-aligned skills from grades 1 to 8 and have fun in an engaging fantasy world filled with adventure.
And for those that want to practice literacy, our newest addition, Prodigy English, lets your child build reading and literacy skills – all while they have fun building their own world.
And with a parent account, you’ll know exactly where their math and English skills are at and what they need to work on.
How to Arrange for My Child to Skip a Grade
JESSICA PRUSSIA
CLASS
... Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
The decision to let a child skip a grade can be a very difficult one to make. Not long ago, skipping a grade was a common occurrence, but lately the amount of children skipping grades has reduced drastically. The reason for this cut back is that many children may be academically ready for the jump, but they may not be socially or emotionally ready for it. If you feel that your child is ready to move ahead with her education, be sure you have reviewed all of your options with your child to ensure you are making the best decision.
Discuss the idea of skipping a grade with your child first. He should always be in on every conversation concerning his education as the decision will ultimately affect him the most. Ensure that he understands every aspect of skipping a grade, including new classmates, being the youngest, and the possibility that he may not be the best in his class once he is learning with older children.
Assess your child's academic ability. By having your child take a series of tests found in books such as the Iowa Acceleration Scale: A Guide for Whole-Grade Acceleration K-8, you can present your case with paper proof that your child meets or exceeds the educational qualifications to move ahead a grade.
Speak with the principle and guidance counselor at your child's school to find out if there are other ways to accelerate learning without skipping an entire grade level. Your child could potentially take one or two classes with a higher grade but remain with her classmates in other classes. The main point is to make sure that skipping an entire grade will be the best decision instead of another means of academic acceleration.
Meet with members of the school to convince them that your child should be approved to skip a grade. Not every school will allow grade skipping, and most will be hesitant to allow it. However if your child needs more stimulation than they are recieving, then the school's faculty should be accomodating and more than willing to do what it takes to help your child grow.
warnings
- You should never push your child to skip a grade if he is hesitant or not emotionally stable enough for this change. If you have already allowed your child to skip a grade but find he is slipping or not handling the stress of advanced academics, you can always let him fall back a grade.
references
- 1 Baby Center: Should My Child Skip a Grade?
About the Author
Jessica Prussia is a freelance writer for Examiner.com, Associated Content.com, local publications in her hometown, and in countless blogs and twitter pages. She holds a degree in interior design from the Illinois Institute of Art-Chicago, and is currently pursuing her graphic design degree.
Related Articles
How to make a child learn and do homework? Psychologist's advice
The school year begins, and the Internet explodes from parent requests: “the child does not want to study”, “how to make the child do homework?”, “what to do if the child is tired of studying?”.
Every parent wants to see in their son or daughter an exemplary student who happily runs to school and diligently performs homework. But what if the child suddenly lost the desire to learn? Should I force it or are there other ways? You will find answers in this article.
Stop overprotecting the child and give reasonable freedom to the emerging personality. At the same time, do not worry about the child, always know where he is, what route he follows, and what is happening around him using the Find My Kids application from the AppStore and GooglePlay.
Contents:
- Finding out the cause
- Correct parental position
- How to help a child?
- Psychologist's advice
- 8 effective ways to motivate you to study well
- Is it worth doing homework with a child?
Finding out the reason
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To figure out why the child suddenly lost all desire to acquire new knowledge at school, you need to find the reason for this behavior.
It can be:
1. Lack of motivation
The child does not understand the importance and necessity of the learning process. He is bored in the lessons, he does not listen to the teacher, he prefers to do his own thing or chat with classmates.
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Why do children not want to do homework? The answer is the simplest. They are not interested.
Unfortunately, the school has little practical experience for life and success, and a lot of gadgets and "distractions". Therefore, students often do not understand - why? Why do they need it? And how is it useful in life? It is important to talk with children, to answer these questions. Show, tell on the example of famous "youth" people. Try to use this knowledge together in life. Praise the student's actions.
For example, you can gather a child's friends and arrange a quest "Why do we need math?" The team that finds more practical examples gets a pizza,
2.
Problems in the teacher-student relationship A case from practice. Dasha has always been a diligent student, she liked going to school, getting good grades, making her parents happy. But suddenly the girl's behavior changed. She became withdrawn, irritable, stopped doing homework. And one day she told her parents that she would no longer go to school. Alarmed mom and dad could not get from their daughter what happened to her. I had to seek help from a psychologist. It turned out that shortly before this, the teacher showed Dasha a notebook to the whole class with the words that the girl does the tasks well, but she writes like a chicken paw. All the children laughed. After this incident, Dasha changed her attitude towards both the school and the teacher.
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Even one careless word of a teacher can offend a child and affect his attitude to learning, not to mention obvious conflicts. This is especially true for anxious and vulnerable children.
3. Conflicts with classmates, ridicule, bullying
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Case study. Vanya's parents moved to a new area and the boy had to go to a new school. At first he liked everything, both teachers and classmates, but soon his parents noticed that his son began to skip classes. Attempts to find out why he does this have not been successful. The boy continued to lie to his parents that he went to school, while he himself walked around the city at that time. Soon the director called the parents and announced that their son could be expelled from school for systematic absenteeism. On the same day, the mother of Vanya's classmate called. She said that Vanya became a victim of bullying - harassment. The boys bullied him for not smoking like all the other boys in the class and for wearing unfashionable clothes. Her daughter felt sorry for Vanya, and she told her mother everything, hoping that she could help. Vanya's parents were shocked.
It turned out that the son simply did not want to devote them to his problems and preferred to endure bullying and ridicule from new classmates.
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It is important for parents to pay attention to all changes in the behavior of their son or daughter and to be able to help the child in time if he has become a victim of bullying.
4. Unfavorable family environment
When parents constantly quarrel and sort things out, it is difficult for a child to concentrate on learning activities. Well, how can you solve a physics problem when dad screams that he will leave the family, and mom echoes that she spent her life on a worthless person?
5. Parental super control
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There are parents (mostly mothers) who need to control everything that happens in the family. Including the school life of the child. Down to the covers of notebooks and a gift to a classmate for her birthday.
What kind of motivation can we talk about in a child, if mom knows better, mom will decide everything?
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6. Low self-esteem, self-doubt
It is difficult for such children to express themselves in school life. Raising your hand to answer a teacher's question, calling a classmate and finding out their homework is a whole problem for them. If, at the same time, parents also make excessive demands on the child and criticize him for the slightest fault, then the son or daughter closes in on himself and follows the path of least resistance. The child starts skipping classes, stops doing homework, brings bad grades. Why try if your efforts will still not be appreciated?
7. Excessive workload of the child after school
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Monday and Wednesday - swimming pool, Wednesday and Thursday - dancing, the rest of the days - art school. Familiar? Many parents seek to organize a super-saturated leisure for their child.
As a result, the psyche includes protective mechanisms, protecting the brain from overwork. The child begins to be lazy and put off doing homework until late in the evening.
8. Physiological causes
Hyperactivity, weak volitional regulation of behavior, somatic diseases - this is an incomplete list of what can also affect a child's lack of desire to sit at a desk and do homework.
Combination of causes
The next story is just about that.
Case from practice. Styopa was overweight since childhood and was very worried about it. Physical education lessons turned into torture for him. Styopa could not run a long distance, climb a rope, or push himself off the floor. The teacher constantly scolded him, classmates laughed. In other lessons, the boy also had a hard time. He had no friends, no one wanted to sit at the same desk with him. Stepin's parents were going to divorce, and they were not up to the experiences of their son.
A closed and insecure teenager found himself only in computer games. But one day his fate changed dramatically. Through an online game, he met a group of guys who deceived the elderly and took money from them. Soon, the scammers decided to “take into action” Styopa as well. At first it was scary, but gradually he "got a taste" and began to continue the work of his "friends". Finally, Styopa was engaged in a business in which he was successful, and no one laughed at him or humiliated him.
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As you can see, there may be enough reasons for a child not to want to learn. And most often, this is not one specific problem, but a whole set in which parents have to figure it out.
The right attitude of parents
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Dear moms and dads! If you force your child to learn , then it is unlikely that something good will come of it . Everything that is done under duress or under fear of punishment will not bring any benefit.
Therefore, let's still not force children to learn, but encourage them to do so. And this will help you a competent position of the parent.
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Of course, you can force your child to learn. But this will have to be done for 9-11 years.
When we force children, we take their responsibility upon ourselves. But we want our children to be independent and do their homework. Therefore, if possible, set the rules for teaching in the first grade. No need to do homework with a first grader - the function of a parent is to help not be distracted from activities. If the student is older, solve the problem with motivation and encouragement,
Adequate perception of the situation
What do most parents do if their child does not want to study? That's right, take the belt. Surely, your parents did the same, and you also often sin with this.
Shouts, swearing and punishments are left outside the door. They won't help. "Horror stories" about the profession of a janitor - too.
Parents need to understand that a child's unwillingness to learn always has a specific reason.
For information on how to properly respond to disobedience, read the article 10 ways to punish a child without screaming, belting and humiliation.
Support
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In order for a child to become more independent and learn to cope with their problems, it is important for them to hear from their parents:
- “I believe in you”;
- "Everything will work out";
- "We will solve this problem together";
- "There are no hopeless situations."
Help
Parents can:
- explain incomprehensible material themselves;
- hire a tutor;
- talk to the teacher;
- adjust parent position;
- go with the child to an appointment with a neurologist;
- find a joint solution to the school difficulties of a son or daughter.
Find out if your child is being bullied at school and if the teachers treat him well in order to help and solve the problem in time. Listen to the surroundings and track your child's location in real time with the Find My Kids app from the AppStore and GooglePlay.
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Enter into an agreement with the child, expressly written, real. Clearly state what is due for “voluntary” completion of lessons and what “punishment” is for failure to complete assignments. Incentive events work great with older students, for example, the child did his homework all week, on the weekend the whole family goes where the student wanted. Stickers spelling out the word "well done" work great with younger students,
How to help a child?
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Psychologist's advice
We have a dislike for learning from generation to generation. Even in kindergarten, they start to frighten children: “When you go to school, the teacher will not look at your whims, she will immediately slap a deuce”, “if you behave badly, you will go to the director’s office.” The child is prepared in advance for the fact that learning will be difficult, uninteresting, painful.
- Try to talk about the school and teachers in a positive way. School is the basis, base, foundation of the whole future life of the child.
When a child's feelings are denied, he quickly loses interest in any business, including studies. The child says: “This is a very difficult task. I will never solve it” and receives in response: “You are just very lazy, everything is difficult for you.”
- Let the children share their fears and concerns with you, even if they seem unfounded.
- A child can find everything he needs in a family. Listen more and judge less, then the children themselves will want to share their problems with you.
The desire to raise a child to be a genius with excellent marks in all subjects leads to nervous breakdowns and low self-esteem, because a son or daughter cannot always reach the bar set by their parents. The same applies to unfulfilled parental expectations, when my mother so dreamed of becoming a ballerina and decided that her daughter must make her dream come true.
The scourge of all parents is the comparison of the child with other children. “And Mashenka gets only fives, and you only bring twos and threes,” “and Svetochka has been doing her homework for a long time, and you keep asking your mother to help.” And the child begins to quietly hate Masha and Svetochka, considering himself a complete loser.
- If you compare a child, then only with yourself: “You see, that year it was difficult for you to remember the multiplication table, but this year you crack it like nuts!”
8 effective ways to motivate you to study well
- Praise your progress more often, even the smallest ones.
- Explain why it is so important to study at school and what it will give the child in the future.
- Do not scold for bad grades, the child is already upset by this fact. Try to find out the reason first.
- Don't "buy" good grades with gadgets and fashion items.
- Talk to the student more often about his dreams and plans for the future.
- It is important to teach the child the correct distribution of time after school, so that he has enough time for rest and for homework.
- The position “not grades are important, but knowledge” is useful for both parents and children.
- Do homework with your child only if he asks you for help.
Is it worth doing homework with a child?
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Now let's touch on a question that worries many parents. Should I help my child do homework? If you don’t help, he will make a lot of mistakes in his notebook, forget to learn the poem and won’t even remember the leaf craft.
In 2018, the Mail.ru Children portal conducted a survey among Russian parents on the topic of completing homework assignments. It turned out that the majority of parents (70%), together with their children, sit down to do homework every evening, and only 30% of moms and dads have children do their homework on their own.
And here is what today's moms and dads remember about their childhood:
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As we can see, parents' attempts to control the process of completing lessons do not always benefit the child.
What experts recommend:
- In the first grade, parents really need to do homework with their child, but only in order to organize the process itself. Teach your son or daughter simple tricks: first, written assignments are done, then oral ones; a difficult task is first solved on a draft; you need to prepare for the test and exam in advance.
- Make a special time for lessons with your child, for example, from 17:00 to 19:00.
Help him organize the workplace and space, make good lighting.
- Do not refuse if the child asks you for help. But try to do not for him, but with him.
- Homework is the same work of the child, and only he should be responsible for it. And not mom and dad, who have already learned their lessons a long time ago.
Remember, dear parents! Your task is not to force your son or daughter to study, but to create an atmosphere in the family where the child can share any problems, where he is not evaluated by marks in the diary, and where he will be helped to acquire new knowledge for future adult life.
Children's education:
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How to get a child to study - how to motivate a teenager to study
Content
- Lack of motivation
- Teacher-student relationship problems
- Conflicts with classmates, ridicule, bullying
- Unfavorable family environment
- Super parental control
- Low self-esteem, self-doubt
- Excessive workload of the child after school
- Praise for accomplishments, even the smallest ones
- Point out positive changes
- Emphasize the child's good qualities
- Not demanding much
- sharing experiences
- Do not compare the child with other children
- Do not scold for bad grades
- Negotiate
- Set an example
- Consider the wishes and aspirations of the child
- Hire a tutor
- Talk about the real benefits of studying
- Inculcate good habits
"There is no 'don't want', only 'must'" is a common expression used by parents whose children refuse to do something they don't want to. For example, study. This and a dozen other demotivational expressions are used when a diplomatic approach no longer helps. The good old “whip” is used, but without the carrot. And at first it may seem that the method works and brings results, because from such a strict control, the estimates really get better. But, unfortunately, this does not last long.
As a result, the child only learns to deceive and cunning, while at the same time beginning to hate everything connected with education. To prevent this from happening, you should rephrase the expression, replacing the word “necessary” with “want”.
The search engine gives more than two million results for the query "how to get a child to study". We talked about some of the reasons in more detail in this video:
Obviously, a huge number of parents face this problem. There are many reasons why children refuse to study. The first thing you should pay attention to is how well the child has developed mental processes: memory, attention, logic. After all, thanks to them, children better understand and remember what they read, easily focus on tasks and begin to study on their own.
In addition, the modern education system is built in such a way as to give children the maximum amount of knowledge and, as a result, receive trained specialists. But few people think about how to properly present this knowledge. Children do not have any algorithms and technologies for self-learning, so that the child performs each action easily, meaningfully and understanding why and what result he will receive.
For example, the online course "Learn to Learn" offers methods for mastering knowledge, helps to improve the efficiency of learning, develop logic, memory and analytical skills. The course helps students understand that studying can be easy and fun, and the acquired skills will help them become responsible, self-sufficient and educated.
Now let's look at other, more obvious reasons for poor academic performance.
Lack of motivation
Sometimes even an adult finds it difficult to force himself to go to work in the morning, despite the fact that he understands why he needs it. Now imagine a child who does not understand why he should go to classes every day, if they don’t even get paid for it. The fact is that children, especially in the lower grades, do not understand the importance and necessity of the learning process. Because of this, it becomes boring and uninteresting for them to listen to the teacher, and even more so to spend time on homework. It is important not to force the child to study “through I don’t want to”, but to calmly explain why he needs education. Show, tell on the example of famous influencers, use school knowledge in life and be sure to praise the child for all the actions. Positive reinforcement is an important component in building motivation.
Negative motivation (fear, pain, duty, shame) traumatizes the child, hinders his intellectual activity and destroys trust in parents. There are many positive tools. For example, the reward system. Did your child do their homework for a week on their own? This is an excuse to go to your favorite ice cream parlor or order pizza.
At the free marathon "Motivation and Education of Children" we will tell you how to motivate your child to study at school, so that he starts learning on his own, stops suffering from homework and torturing you.
Problems in the teacher-student relationship
It may happen that the teacher does not agree with the position of the student on some issue, and this negatively affects the grades in the subject. It may be that the student himself provoked the conflict with his behavior, to which the teacher reacted with a deuce in the diary. Or the problem arose because of careless criticism of the student. Situations are different, but they can discourage the student from learning. In this case, you should talk to the child, find out what is bothering him. After that, also talk with the teacher in order to understand what is the cause of the conflict and try to eliminate it.
Conflicts with classmates, ridicule, bullying
Bullying is a constant deliberate negative action directed at a child by another child or a group of children. Almost all students face bullying: someone is directly involved in it, someone becomes a victim, and someone is watching what is happening. Bullying becomes the reason that the child begins to skip, does not want to study and closes in himself. This is a very serious problem that can negatively affect the personality of the child. If you notice that your child's behavior has changed, invite him to talk. The sooner you know about the problem, the easier it will be to deal with it.
Unfavorable family environment
If parents in a family constantly quarrel, sort things out, doing this in front of the child, it becomes difficult for him to focus on his studies. How can you think about solving a math problem when there is screaming and noise all around?
Parental oversight
Sometimes it is very important for parents to control everything that happens to relatives in the family and outside it. This also includes the school life of the child. It's not just about grades, but even designing workbooks, a diary, or preparing a birthday present for a classmate. There can be no talk of any motivation, because mom or dad will decide everything.
As a result, parents have to force their child to study. But it's absolutely not worth it. Why? We talk in this video:
You can get a comprehensive solution to the problem of a child's education in our free online lesson "How to motivate a child to learn independently."
Low self-esteem, self-doubt
It is difficult for insecure children to express themselves in school life. Asking a teacher a question, calling a classmate and finding out homework is a whole problem. If, at the same time, at home, relatives make excessive demands on the child, severely criticize for the slightest fault, call him lazy, then sooner or later he will close in himself and take the path of least resistance: he will start skipping classes, stop doing homework and will bring bad grades . Why try if your efforts are not appreciated.
Excessive workload of the child after school
Many parents strive to organize super-saturated leisure time for their child. For example, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday - English and the pool, on Tuesdays - basketball, and on Thursday - art school. But as a result, the psyche includes protective mechanisms, protecting the brain from overwork. The student becomes lazy and starts postponing the lessons. Pursuing even the most noble goals, parents forget that a child is not a robot and he needs rest just like an adult.
13 tips for parents on how to motivate their child to study
Praise success, even the smallest
You don't have to expect 100% success from a child to praise him. It is important to notice any progress. And the age of the student does not matter. Teenagers, like elementary school students, also need support and praise.
Point out positive changes
If something is difficult for a child, still support him every time. You can say: “Wow! Look how much better you have become! If you continue in the same vein, you will do just fine!” But never say something like, "Try a little more, and then it will be fine." With such phrases you devalue small achievements.
Emphasize the child's good qualities
It is important to understand that a child's life does not revolve around school. Parents should always notice the good qualities of their child, even if these are characteristics far from learning. For example, if a child knows how to help others, has charisma, a great sense of humor, charm, or is excellent at negotiating, point out these qualities to him. Such an emphasis will help in building adequate self-esteem, which, in turn, will create self-confidence.
Not demanding much
No one is protected from overwork and burnout, not even a schoolboy. Just imagine how stressful a child is who goes to school, then goes to a few circles, and then comes home and sits down for homework. Don't expect your child to be perfect. It is normal that some subjects are more difficult for him and the student needs more time to understand them.
share experiences
If a child tells you that he doesn't like an object, don't scold him, but share the experience with him. For example, you can say: “Yes, I understand that you don’t like physics so much, but it needs to be studied. You can always share your thoughts with me so that we can discuss how you feel.”
Do not compare the child with other children
Comparisons always only provoke resentment and practically do not affect motivation. The successes of the “son of my mother’s friend” will not help the child to correct grades and start learning on their own, but will only cause a reluctance to study on the principle “I won’t succeed anyway”.
To help a child do what is necessary and important, one should “gather” universal motivation. In our free lessons of the course on motivating children, we will talk about the causes of demotivation and what to do about it, why it is impossible to force a child to study well, as well as how to change the child's behavior and restore trust and openness in parent-child relationships.
And in this video we talk about how children's behavior will change if you stop forcing them to learn:
Do not scold for bad grades
Motivation for progress and achievement must be positive. A bad score only shows that you need to try harder to improve the result. If you punish a student for a bad grade with all sorts of restrictions, his motivation will be negative. And it forms either fear or nihilism.
Negotiate
A contract is one of the most reliable and effective tools for working with children's motivation. It should be noted right away that the contract should be beneficial not only to you, but also to the child. You can not demand fives from a schoolboy without offering anything in return. For example, you might say, "If you do your homework for a week, we'll go to the movies this weekend. " Or: “If you write a good test, you can invite your friends and play with them on the console at the weekend.”
Motivation is an art. In order for a child to want to study independently, it is necessary to find the right approach. In a practical online course for parents, we will tell you how to set up parental authority and properly negotiate with your child so that he does not let you down and does not break agreements.
Set an example
It is pointless to try to teach your child to do homework while you are scrolling through TikTok or watching a series, for example. Children love to copy their parents. So if the goal is to instill in your child a love of reading, put down your smartphone and read an interesting book.
Consider the wishes and aspirations of the child
To motivate children, their interests must be taken into account. Ask your child what they like to do. If he is interested in cinema, it is worth figuring out how to connect screenwriting with a desire to learn. You can come up with interesting tasks: for example, offer to start writing a fascinating script about the school so that studies start to seem more interesting.
Hire a tutor
If one of the subjects is especially difficult for a child, then a good solution would be to hire a tutor. Read our article on how to choose the right specialist.
Talk about the real benefits of studying
Children do not understand why parents get up early every morning and go to work, why they improve their qualifications, strive to improve. That is why you should not start a conversation about the fact that fives mean a comfortable future. It is better to talk about the real benefits of studying, for example, that it will make him more free, give him the opportunity to try himself in different areas, understand what he really likes, and choose the right profession.
Instill good habits
Curiosity is fueled by the habit of learning something new. And this is one of the best qualities that motivates a person to develop intelligence throughout life.
