How to get sole physical custody of a child

When is it Needed / Awarded?

What is sole custody?

The general phrase sole custody can refer to sole physical custody, sole legal custody or both. You'll also hear sole custody called full custody.

If a parent has sole physical custody, their child lives with them full-time and has visits (potentially supervised visits) with the other parent, unless the court finds that visits wouldn't be in the child's best interest.

If a parent has sole legal custody, they can make all major decisions regarding the child without consulting the other parent; this includes decisions about medical care, education, religious upbringing and moral development. The other parent can still make small, day-to-day choices when caring for the child.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans for custody agreements.

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When should I seek sole custody?

The clearest reason to ask for sole custody is to protect your child from physical harm, especially if the other parent has a history of any of the following issues:

ABUSE: If a parent has assaulted or sexually abused the other parent or any child, this presents an obvious danger to their child.

NEGLECT: If a parent has previously neglected the child, this neglect could continue in the future. Neglect is the failure to provide a child with necessary medical care, dental care, supervision, food, clothing, shelter or other safeguards to protect the child's well-being.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE: A parent who abuses drugs or alcohol presents a danger to the child. The altered mental state that occurs as a result of substance abuse prohibits the parent from being able to properly care for the child.

MENTAL ILLNESS: A child should be protected from a parent who is mentally unstable and exhibits irrational and unpredictable behavior. For example, a child should never be left with a suicidal parent.

There are also reasons to obtain sole custody beyond protecting the child physically:

ABANDONMENT: Sometimes parents can't or won't take care of their child. If a parent has shown little interest in their child and has failed to maintain contact with them, you may want sole custody so the parent can't resurface years later to exercise custody rights as a virtual stranger.

INCARCERATION: If a parent is imprisoned, they cannot provide a home or care for the child. In this case, you may want to seek sole custody, and the other parent can have visits with the child after their release from prison, if appropriate. Don't feel obligated to take your child to visit a parent in prison if you feel it may harm the child emotionally.

RELOCATION: If a parent plans to move out of the state or country, it may be best for one parent to have sole custody.

Above all, sole custody should be for the good of the child, not for depriving the other parent.

What are my chances of getting sole custody?

The chances of getting sole custody vary greatly and depend on the circumstances of your case.

Most courts start with an assumption that children benefit from spending time with both parents. However, they know joint custody is not appropriate in every situation.

If you and the other parent agree on sole custody, the judge will typically approve your agreement.

If the other parent does not contest your request for sole custody, the lack of interest will typically compel a judge to award sole custody.

If the other parent decides to fight for custody, you may face a long battle. Be prepared to show why sole custody would be in the child's best interest and provide proof of any allegations you make.

How to get sole custody of a child without going to court

A mother who gives birth while unmarried automatically has sole custody of her child until a court rules otherwise or until she and the father officially acknowledge his parenthood.

Also, a child's only living parent usually has sole custody.

Otherwise, your best option for getting full child custody without a trial is to reach an agreement with the other parent. If you decide together that your child would benefit from sole custody, write this in your custody agreement. Include details about any decisions the noncustodial parent can make for your child, when your child will spend time with that parent and how you'll support their relationship.

The easiest way to make a sole custody agreement

Creating a custody agreement on your own can feel overwhelming. You have to be sure to use airtight legal language and can't omit any required information.

Use technology to take the guesswork out of the equation. The Custody X Change app walks you through each step of creating a comprehensive custody agreement.

You can include a visitation calendar for the noncustodial parent, plus parenting stipulations, such as forbidding alcohol consumption during visits.

The result is a professional document that demonstrates your competence as a parent and secures your child's future.

The easiest, most reliable way to make a custody agreement is with Custody X Change.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans for custody agreements.

Make My Parenting Plan Now

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans for custody agreements.

Make My Plan

How to Get Sole Custody

How to Get Sole Custody by Ronna L. DeLoe, Esq.

by Ronna L. DeLoe, Esq.
updated April 28, 2022 · 3min read

Many parents head into their divorce proceedings without a solid understanding of the differences between full custody and sole custody. They aren't the same thing, so you need to know what you're asking for when you head into court.

Sole custody includes both legal and physical custody. A parent can have one or the other. Full custody is when both legal and physical custody are awarded to one parent.

Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody

For some families, sole custody can be the best outcome for the child. Here's what sole custody entails:

Sole physical custody is where the child lives primarily with one parent, while the other parent has visitation rights.
Sole legal custody is where one parent has decision-making authority. This includes making major decisions about education, religion, and medical care.
Sometimes a parent will have both sole physical custody and sole legal custody, although this is the exception, rather than the rule.
Often, if one parent has sole physical custody, the parents have joint legal custody, which requires discussing major decisions and coming to an agreement.
Joint custody, or shared custody, can be either joint physical custody, joint legal custody, or both. With joint physical custody, the child lives with each parent for a certain percentage of time, such as part of a week or every other week.
Each state has its own view of custody, but because courts want both parents involved in the child's life, judges typically want the parents to have joint custody.

How to Obtain Full Custody

How can you get full custody if joint custody is what most courts want? There are certain elements you must show to defeat a court's preference for joint custody. How to get sole legal custody or sole physical custody, or both, can happen if the following are true:

Sole custody is in the best interests of the child, and
Joint custody isn't a good idea because you and your spouse can't get along well enough to co-parent your child

Almost all states require the court to consider the best interests of the child before awarding sole custody. If sole custody isn't in your child's best interests, you will probably have to settle for joint custody.

Some Scenarios in Which You Have a Better Chance of Getting Sole Custody:

The other parent is unable to adequately raise or properly supervise the child
The other parent has neglected, abused, or abandoned the child
You have a more flexible work schedule than the other parent, or you're available to take care of the child more often
You have a restraining or protective order against the other parent, and the other parent poses a threat to the child
The child is old enough to express his preference, and your state allows your child to have input about his custody
The child has special needs, which you are better equipped to handle
The child has bonded better with you and is thriving in your care
You are the primary caregiver, and the other parent has minimal involvement in the child's upbringing
You are the better parent at helping ensure the child's educational success
You have more financial stability than the other parent
You offer the child a more stable home environment (shelter, food, attention)
The other parent has serious issues, such as domestic violence, substance or alcohol abuse, or other serious mental health issues that interfere with raising the child

Is There a Preference of Full Custody for Mothers?

Most states used to award custody to mothers more often than to fathers. Now, almost every state has laws allowing both parents to get custody. As many fathers know, however, some judges still believe the mother should be the custodial parent. Some states are better than others in allowing either you or your spouse to have an equal chance of getting full custody.

If you're seeking sole custody, you should hire an experienced family lawyer. Custody is too important to handle by yourself.

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About the Author

Ronna L. DeLoe, Esq.

Ronna L. DeLoe is a freelance writer and a published author who has written hundreds of legal articles. She does family … Read more

What is sole custody and how is it different from physical custody?

What is sole custody and how is it different from physical custody? - Child custody and support

Home / Child Custody & Support / What is sole custody and how is it different from physical custody?

A custody battle usually occurs in a separation or divorce and a court determines which parent, relative or any other adult is legally and/or physically responsible for a child under 18 years of age. In the United States, child custody can either be "sole" (only one parent gets custody of the child) or "joint" (both parents get custody).

In sole custody, one parent is given exclusive legal and physical custody of the child. However, in most states, courts try not to give sole custody to a single parent so that both parents are actively involved in their child's life. While the court may grant sole physical custody to one parent, the other parent (called the non-custodial parent) may be entitled to a visitation schedule and, in some cases, joint legal custody. Sole physical and legal custody of a child is possible, but this is rare and usually occurs only when the other parent is found to be unable to care for the child, mainly due to child abuse, mental instability, domestic violence, or alcohol and drug addiction. Even so, some courts may still grant visitation to the non-custodial parent, albeit under supervision.

Sole legal custody vs sole physical custody

There is almost always a custody battle in a legal separation or divorce. There are two types of custody - legal and physical. There is a sharp difference between them.

Sole Legal Custody: Only one parent has the legal authority to make key decisions regarding the child's welfare, including religion, education, medicine, and emotional well-being. Although consultation with the non-custodial parent is not required, it is at the discretion of the custodial parent whether he or she seeks advice.
Sole Physical Custody: the child is cared for and lives with a parent, subject to a visit by the non-custodial parent, unless the court has ruled out the visit in order to protect the interests of the child.

Custody of a child may be determined by the local court during divorce proceedings or if a relative, friend or agency is in doubt about the ability of one or both parents to care for the child's welfare. The main factor that determines the outcome of the custody battle is what is best for the child or children.

Pros and cons of sole custody

Sole custody can have its advantages and disadvantages for the custodial parent. The following are the benefits of sole custody:

If the non-custodial parent is unfit and abusive, the child is protected and removed from any negative influence.
D Dealing with basic child welfare issues is often simplified when only one parent is responsible for their choice.
The non-custodial parent no longer needs to be consulted about important decisions, reducing the chance of disputes.
In some cases, when one parent makes the decision, the child becomes more consistent.
Single physical care eliminates the hassle of moving from one home to another, providing the child with a more stable environment.

At the same time, there are also some disadvantages of sole custody of a child, including:

Having only one parent can have a psychological impact on the child (eg feeling abandoned).
When the visitation schedule is set, the child's relationship with the non-custodial parent becomes limited.
The huge amount of expenses associated with the child will be borne solely by the custodial parent.
Making life-changing decisions for a child can be challenging for single parents.

Factors to consider before moving to sole custody

Sole custody of a child is a huge responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Consider the following before applying for sole custody:

If both parents are willing to be involved in their child's life;
If sole custody of a child does more good than harm;
If it is reasonable for one or both parents to decide for their child;
If the main reason for seeking sole custody is simply to relieve the stress of consulting with the other parent; and
If joint custody harms your child or children.

The well-being of the child should be most of all in the minds of parents.

Divorce situations -

The child has the right to maintain a close and secure relationship with both parents even after their divorce. In the case of separation, the parents must agree among themselves on the custody of the child, his residence, visitation rights and the payment of alimony.

Parents must decide whether they are still the child's guardians and with whom the child will live. The child has the right to meet with both parents, and both parents are required to participate in the maintenance/financing of the child's living expenses.

One parent may be ordered to pay child support to the other parent who has the child's registered residence.

Joint custody or sole custody

The most common form of child custody after a parent's divorce is joint custody. This means that parents decide together on issues that are important for the child's life, such as parenting, medical issues or travel.

Matters relating to the child's daily life are decided by the person with whom the child lives. If the parents are joint guardians of the child, one parent does not have the right to change the place of residence of the child, taking him abroad, without the consent of the other parent, even if the child lives with the parent taking him abroad. When applying for a child's passport, both parents must sign the application for a passport.

If joint custody is not the best solution after the parents divorce, one parent may apply for sole custody of the child. This means that the single parent will be able to independently resolve issues concerning the child, without consulting with the other parent. However, in all situations, it should be remembered that the child has the right to meet with both parents.

Useful links

You can find more information and support in English on the Apuaeroon.fi website.

When divorce becomes a decision

An application for divorce may be filed by both spouses jointly or by one of the spouses. After a six-month deliberation period, the divorce is confirmed and takes effect. A civil marriage is considered completed when the spouses cease to live at the same address.

Agreements concerning children after divorce

Advice and agreements relating to divorce, custody of children, their residence, visits and maintenance are provided by the family law services of the municipalities.

From the children's point of view, a joint agreement between the parents on matters relating to child custody, housing and visitation rights, and alimony is preferable. Parents can agree on all issues at their discretion.

The contract may be concluded orally or in writing. However, a written agreement is preferred so that parents can submit it for approval by the child welfare officer. This guarantees the realization of the right of the child to meet with both parents. If one of the guardians does not take part in the maintenance of the child in an agreed manner, in the absence of a formal agreement with the authorities, Kela will not pay child support.