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Fatherless factor / Pravoslavie.Ru

A month ago I happened to visit one family protection event. Well families in Russia today are being destroyed, and the environment the situation only contributes to this, does not only say lazy. I'm not talking about that. That is, about this too, but a little from a different angle or something ...

According to some estimates, about 30% of children in Russia raised by single mothers. How many statistics mothers raise their children alone, despite the fact that fathers in birth certificate recorded, no. The fact is that many divorced "dads" at best (if "better-worse" is applicable here) consider their participation in the life of the child only as monthly payment of a certain amount of money and, perhaps, infrequent visits or calls. At worst, it doesn't.

“I remember my father from the age of six, but I remember very poorly. He once every six years he moved to another city and started a new family, ”says the hero of those who have become cult, terrifying in their content, books and movie of the same name "Fight Club" appeared in the second half of the 90s in America. Occasionally, like fathers, this American dad gave his son some advice over the phone. And as a result of this upbringing grew up "a thirty-year-old boy from generations of men raised by women" asks the question: and now "can a woman solve my problems?

America is probably a bit ahead of us. But also Russia does not want to be left behind. Conveyor for the education of "adults" boys" who will wait for a woman to decide their problems, works properly.

I am not a supporter of the point of view that a mother raising a son alone, she will definitely make him a nurse, a mother's son and in any case "spoil". Among my friends and acquaintances are many decent, kind, strong men raised only by their mothers. But nonetheless, someone could not get married, someone went through a whole series of marriages and divorces, someone with great difficulty getting used to his father's role ... In general, problems there is. It's stupid to deny it.

Illustration from the magazine "Tram", No. 8, 1990.

The boy needs a man's shoulder next to him. And mother, no matter how I tried, but I still can't replace it. And their own fathers and Not all mothers with children have new life partners.

Today the Church pays attention to the problems single mothers: centers are being set up for women who find themselves in a difficult life situation, assistance is provided to the incomplete parish families. This is great and much needed! But in addition to material and first psychological aid Still, the mother-son family also needs some kind of male participation.

The first and main role in solving this issue, of course, should be left to the fathers. Unfortunately, after parting many of them perceive the child not as their son or daughter, but as "the child of the woman with whom I divorced." In addition, far from always divorced parents can find a common language, and go to a psychologist - especially on this issue - in our country not accepted (at best, to a lawyer).

However, even if the father has a new family, he However, the best interests of the child should not be forgotten. Father needs try to establish a constructive dialogue with the mother, with on the one hand, listening to its opinion, since it is precisely she spends most of the time with the child, but also offering his masculine perspective on solving some education issues.

But of course this is ideal. If the father and after divorce remains the father, then he does not need such advice. And if parting with his wife deleted from his life and child, it is unlikely that he will listen. So let's think about what other options for male education can be brought into the mother-son family.

Examples of male behavior can be shown meaningfully an adult man. It could be grandfather, uncle, godfather Or even a friend's dad. The main thing is that it should not imposing some abstract patterns (which, by the way, speaking, most often have the opposite of the expected result): "Don't cry, you're not a girl," "Lead like a man, etc., but live communication, in which the child will be able to see and accept the men he likes ways to solve problems.

Photo: photosight.ru, Alexander Sheverev

If the child is not interested in "male circle", if there is neither grandfather nor uncle nearby, but godfather or mother's friends and would be happy to help, but there is no time, then a significant adult may have to be found elsewhere ways. Examples from books and films are important even for children from complete families. And in this case, reading and watching movies are of particular importance. In addition, now, in the century information, you can try to find some authority for child in the media space.

At the same event, the visit of which prompted me to all these thoughts, a pleasant young woman approached me woman. Her son seems to be 12 or 13 years old, and from the very born, she raised him alone. Natalia came to Moscow from Voronezh specifically to participate in this meeting organized by Father Dimitri Smirnov.

“It was hard, no one helped…” she told me. - Well, we read books with him about heroes, watched movies. Here we listen to the sermons of the priests. BUT Now my son himself says to me: if Father Dimitry of all collects in Moscow, go, and I'm here myself on the farm. Here so my son sent me. For Natasha's son significant a distant stranger became an adult man Priest…

There are ways out, and it is not at all necessary, as many believe, that a man-rag will grow up in a family without a father. Just single mom needs a little help. Help in this case not materially, but by their participation in the fate of the child.

Having listened to many correct words about the family, having seen many caring people, with some even enthusiasm, I took the train to go home.

In line for tickets, a thin man in dark glasses "in the prime of his life" inquired if will I buy him a Strike. To my question what this, he answered disappointedly: “The drink is energetic". Just a couple of minutes after train departure, this man dropped a can of some stinking slurry and, collapsed on the bench, began to snore. Other my neighbors in the car drank beer from one and a half liter eggplants and cocktails bought from passing vendors. The young man opposite was talking rudely on the phone, apparently with a former cohabitant ... In general, there was an ordinary life around, among which you have to grow, grow up and become a man to my son ...

And I'll tell you honestly, such a longing made my way ... So I suddenly got scared...

Photo: istock/Andrew Penner

But when these very real men still have the opportunity to break away from their studies, it seems to me, was It would be nice if they looked around a little. “And what kind of boy is he walking through the yard with a full portfolio? Didn't he smoke yesterday, coughing and scared hiding behind bushes? Isn't this the son of a neighbor from the third floor, which is always at work? Or maybe he would interesting to see how I climb under the hood of my car? Maybe you just need to talk to him about anything..?"

I do not want to end with a hackneyed phrase, but nevertheless: there are no other people's children. It is this understanding that I seems to have helped raise more than one generation of men after a war that killed millions of fathers. Only it will help raise boys today...

Items filtered by date: April 2018

On April 21–22, the Health&Beauty Forum was held in Limassol for the seventh time, organized by Vestnik Kipra at the GrandResort Hotel. More than 2,500 guests attended the event over two days.

An interesting exhibition worked for two days, more than 35 seminars, lectures and master classes were held, a lottery and competition of hairdressers-stylists Hair Battle were held, a children's corner was open, various salon procedures were offered from specialists and much more.

The Mayor of Limassol Nikos Nikolaidis was the guest of honor of the first day of Health&Beauty. He toured the exhibition and greeted the participants, noting in particular that the forum made a great impression on him and is a great example of successful thematic projects.

EXHIBITION AND PRESENTATIONS

We have gathered more than 130 companies on one platform. And it should be noted that every time the Health&Beauty exhibition is replenished with new brands. The guests had the opportunity to test most of the products presented at the exhibition. Specialists offered eyebrow tattoo treatments, manicure and make-up services, wellness and relaxation massages, and much more. And for the first time, within the framework of the Health & Beauty Forum, it was possible to register as a bone marrow donor. All that had to be done for this was to pass a swab from the oral cavity at the booth of the CIWOT organization. The full list of exhibitors can be found at www.hbcyprus.com

LECTURES AND MASTER CLASSES

Over 35 free seminars and master classes in Russian, English or Greek were held in two days. Professionals from various fields - from non-invasive rejuvenation and clinical psychology to yoga, dance and proper nutrition - shared their experience and knowledge with the guests of the exhibition. The Health&Beauty site also hosted master classes in aikido, taijiquan, yoga, waltz, bachata, salsa, cha-cha-cha and zuku. In other words, the range of topics covered at the Health&Beauty Forum allowed each guest to create a unique schedule of lectures and seminars to their liking.

HAIR BATTLE

For the first time, professional competitions between hairdressers-stylists Hair Battle were held within the framework of the forum. The participants showed their skills and talents in two rounds, creating a retro hairstyle and a fantasy hairstyle with a spring theme. Seven experienced professionals competed for the main prize - 1,000 euros from Lally Anna Makeup, as well as sets of professional cosmetics from L'Oreal.

The jury included the famous fashion photographer Christopher Stavrinidis, the winner of the Russian Championship in hairdressing Kirill Maznikov, the specialist who pioneered the balayage technique, Jean Marc Le Naur, the owner of the Hairstylist @ Victorio beauty salon Victor Nazr, the owner of the famous beauty salons Joseph & Niki Beani: Art & Style Joseph Biani and fashion designer Remy Sabba.

Marina Safronova became the winner of the first Hair Battle. The top three also included Enzhi Zaharia (second place) and Svetlana Martynova (third place). Further places were distributed as follows: Anastasia Gorgola, Natasha Kalaijan, Nadezhda Podlinova, Katrin Shulga.

SEE YOU IN THE AUTUMN!

After a short break, our team is starting preparations for the next, eighth Heath&Beauty Forum, which will be held November 17-18, 2018 at the GrandResort Hotel. We promise it will be even more interesting!
See the photo report from the event on our website at https://vkcyprus.com/photosgallery/hbf-2018-spring

Elizaveta ENRO

BABOR, exhibiting company:
“The organization of the forum was again on top! This year there are noticeably more new participants, whom we were glad to meet. I would like to separately note the Hair Battle competition and each stylist who took part in it. They managed to create completely different looks - impressive work! See you at the next exhibition."

Ekaterina Podgurskaya, guest:
“I want to express my warmest gratitude to the organizers, participants and, of course, the guests of this wonderful exhibition. There were many brands of color cosmetics, body care cosmetics and health products in general. You could try different procedures, which is important. Representatives of all firms communicated with each of the visitors, as with an old friend. Very soulful. We look forward to the next event!"

Elena Kirilishina, Galina wide company Babor Ekaterina Podgurskaya (right)

Maryana, guest:
“I come to the exhibition with my mother and friends, and we all find something new for ourselves. The organization is stable but good, so it is especially pleasant to come. I really liked the performances of the dancers, and my mother attended several seminars with pleasure.”

Vitaly, guest:
“At this exhibition, I found a new product for myself – medical cannabis, and listened to an interesting lecture about the components of the product. I was interested to know the methods and methods of treatment with the help of medical cannabis, as well as aspects of its legalization in various countries, because this product does not contain intoxicants and is not a drug.”

Maria (left), representative of Apivita:
“Apivita presents its products at the exhibition every year, it is a familiar brand. We plan to continue participating in exhibitions in order to be able to tell about our product and delight beautiful ladies. Thanks to the organizers for the opportunity!”

Maryana Vitaly Maria (left)

Mellona, ​​the company-participating company:
“We were happy with another meeting with the Health & Beauty team. ''Bulletin of Cyprus'' did a great job! The event was organized at the highest level. See you in November!"

Ekaterina Monastyrskaya, guest:
“It so happened that I was at the exhibition for the first time, although I had heard a lot of good things about it before. But these days I could not help but come: a stylist who works in my agency took part in the hairdressing competition, and, which is especially pleasant, she won first place. We had time to see the exhibition - very good, and I did not expect that we actually have so many experts in the field of beauty. There are a lot of Russian-speaking masters, which is also pleasing. For busy people, the advantage is that experts and professionals are gathered in one place and you can come, spend an hour of your time and get acquainted with a wide range of services. In two days, I learned a lot of interesting and useful things for myself, such exhibitions must be!”

Irina Ryabushkina, Director of the Together Forever charity fund:
“This is not the first time we have cooperated with Vestnik Kipra, and it is very pleasant to work, since the combination of commercial and charitable activities gives certain results. We are grateful for the opportunity to organize a children's corner at Health&Beauty. The children drew, danced, made crafts, and it was especially pleasant to realize that the children understood that everything they do is not just entertainment, but also their contribution to the child's treatment. Our foundation organizes and pays for the treatment of Russian children abroad, and we are very pleased that the people of Cyprus came to the exhibition and took part in the work of our foundation. In general, the exhibition is a wonderful event, well prepared and organized. It seems to me that there is not a single woman left here who could say that she is unhappy. Everyone is happy! Thanks to the organizers!

Representatives of Mellona Ekaterina Monastynskaya Irina Ryabushkina

Marina Safronova, Maria Savvidis Salon B.C.A. ART (Limassol), winner of the Hair Battle competition:
“It was my first time participating in the competition and it was an amazing experience! On the first day, I wanted to emphasize the nuances of the retro era: a hat with a veil, clothes, a mouthpiece, a front sight over the lip, makeup and, of course, a hairstyle. On the second day, I tried to show spring: lightness, tenderness, “wind in my hair”, the awakening of nature! I am grateful to my models, how they got used to the images. I also thank the organizers of the competition for the opportunity to try my hand. Many thanks to the jury - it's so exciting to present my work in front of super professionals, and I'm glad that my images received high marks.
Personally, after such competitions, I want to move forward even more, develop in my own direction, this is an amazing charge of positive. All rivals were worthy, each created its own unique image. All well done! We worried, tried and of course enjoyed the process. The very participation in the competition, when you leave the "comfort zone" - is already half the success and victory over your fear and excitement. And how many spectators there were! They applauded, cheered, worried, the atmosphere was amazing.
I believe that health and beauty are important aspects for every person. Such exhibitions are very necessary, as they present industry novelties that are of interest to customers and help manufacturers and exhibitors talk about them. ”

Anna Lalli, Chairman of the organizing committee and sponsor of the Hair Battle competition:
“I would like to thank Vestnik Kipra and especially Natalia Vladimirovna Kardash and Marina Mikhailida for their help in organizing the competition and the idea of ​​creating the Health&Beauty forum. This is a real holiday for the residents of Limassol and all of Cyprus! Many thanks to the participants and jury members of the Hair Battle, everything was unforgettable, and the strongest won! I believe that the exhibition and competition will develop and get better every year. It was an amazing two days of my life!”.

Marina Safronova (in the center) Anna Lally

Alla Gurbova, master of permanent makeup, makeup artist:
“There were many new companies and really interesting products at this exhibition, and it was very interesting for me as a permanent participant to see the exhibition of herself . The care for the participants is pleasant - a lunch was organized, which was so lacking before. To the wonderful visitors of the exhibition, and to all the girls, advice: find time for yourself, treat yourself to new products and don’t be afraid to change.”

Yuliya Polishko, doctor, cosmetologist, Proffile Beauty representative:
“I used to visit exhibitions as a guest, and this year I present products on behalf of the company for the first time. It's good here "on both sides of the stand." I am very pleased to share my professional knowledge and skills with girls, to help in choosing personal care products. Taking care of your loved ones and yourself is what we lack so much in everyday life, and the exhibition is a good way to relax with benefits for the soul and body.”

Natalia, guest:
“It's nice that world brands are represented at the exhibition. I tried some procedures and the professionals helped me find the right products. I wish the exhibition to develop and reach the world level.”

Alla Gurbova Julia Polishko Natalya

Irina, guest:
“I'm here for the first time and I liked everything. Unfortunately, I do not speak English and some of the interesting stands could not be assessed properly. It is very good that there is a kids club: the child is happy, with a great mood. We'll definitely come next time."

Claudia, guest:
“I have heard about Health&Beauty many times and finally I managed to visit it. I enjoyed watching the hairstyle contest - how everyone did it, who won. I marked a lot for myself for the future. I really liked the training stands and the stand with laser procedures.”

Oksana Lazareva, guest:
“I go to the exhibition every year and really look forward to it. I like that I can buy everything I need in one place. You don't even need to go shopping! It is comfortable to be here even with two children, they are also interested in walking here and having fun in the children's corner.”

Dionisis, son of Oksana Lazareva:
“I came with my mother. Of course, I'm not as interested as she is, but they gave me a few samples, and I'm happy to use them. Next time I will also come with my mother, I don’t want to miss something interesting.”

Tony Sokratus, stylist:
“I work with different aspects of style, with modern make-up technologies, including for filming and various events. I take part in the exhibition for the third time and constantly meet new people, find partners for work in the future. Everything is organized very professionally.”

Irina Claudia Oksana Lazarev Tony

Oksana, guest:
“I found a salon at the exhibition and tried the procedures that I had been looking for for a long time. Met and interacted with the staff. There really is a result from the procedure, and now I know where I can solve my problem. At one of the lectures, I had the opportunity to talk to a psychologist for the first time. I'm glad it was an open seminar where people could listen to information without talking about their problems. Now I understand that in some situations a psychologist is really needed.

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