How do i get my child baptized
Getting Your Child Baptized When You’re Not A Church Member – The Pure Gift
So you want to get your child baptised but you don’t go to church? Or maybe you do occasionally attend but aren’t a member of the church? I’ve been in a similar situation. It may take a little longer but it’s absolutely doable.
Most churches will welcome a request to baptise your child even if you are not a church member or do not regularly attend church. There may be a few extra steps, like meeting with the pastor or attending a class. Churches want to baptise, but want to make sure it is being done for the right reason.
The reason that you want to have your child baptised is very important. Let’s look at some of the reasons people might have for wanting to get their child baptised.
What Is Your Main Reason For Wanting to Baptise Your Child?
There may be a few reasons that you wish to have your child baptised and that’s ok, but only one is really important to the church. Some of the reason are:
Tradition
Maybe it’s expected from extended family that you will have your child baptised. It’s probable that you were baptised as a child and maybe your parents were baptised as a child too. It’s the done thing to do. Or maybe you’re getting questioned and pressured about it. I think this is quite a common reason, but hopefully not the only reason
Belief that baptism alone will save your child
Or maybe you believe that all you need to do to get into heaven is get baptised and then heaven is a done deal. You can tick that one off the list.
Maybe you’re not sure if heaven is really real, or if what the bible says is actually true. But maybe it is real and so you hedge your bets and want to get your child baptised just in case.
You want to get your child into a christian school
Christian schools often offer high quality education and most parents will want to get their child into the best school possible (that they can afford). This often means that there is more demand than available places at christian schools.
The criteria the school uses for selecting students may include if the child is baptised or not. The school wants to have children and families attending the school that have the same beliefs and values as the school does. This makes sense. I believe there are quite a few Catholic schools that use baptism as a selection criteria. However, this means more people will want to get their child baptised with the sole purpose of guaranteeing a good education.
My children attend a Lutheran school and baptism wasn’t a selection criteria, but church membership was.
You believe in Jesus and want to raise your child to believe in Jesus
You believe that Jesus is who he says he is – God’s son. You believe the things that Jesus said and did as recorded in the bible. As a result of this belief you want to know Jesus more and you also want your child to know him. You want your child to know how special God has made them and how much he loves them.
One reason for baptism is given by Jesus: Belief in Him.
“Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved.” Mark 16:16
Now, as a baby can’t believe when they are so young the parents believe on the child’s behalf and they promise to help their child to know God in the hope that when the child is older they may believe too.
If this last reason is your honest reason for wanting to baptise your child then I can’t imagine any church that would refuse you (unless they don’t practice infant baptism ie. Baptist church, in this case they may offer baby dedication instead).
Baptism is something we often only think about when it comes time to baptising our children (I know that was the case with me), so here’s a refresher I’ve written on what baptism is, what it means and what happens during baptism.
Views from the Church/Pastor
The church wants to baptise people. They want to welcome people into God’s family. That’s one of the main reasons they exist.
But sometimes the church/pastor is put in a difficult position when asked to baptise someone they don’t know. They don’t know the reason that you want to baptise your child. Churches want to baptise for the right reasons – belief in Jesus. So the pastor really needs to determine your motive to do his job well, hopefully without offending anyone.
Jesus also makes it clear that people are to be trained in his way of life and marked with baptism. Then to continue instructing them in practising all he has commanded:
“God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20
Churches are answerable to God (as we all are) and they need to follow God’s instructions.
For me personally, meeting with the pastor before my first child’s baptism made me realise the importance and commitment I was making in having my child baptised.
If you’re wondering what is the best age to baptise your baby, I’ve written an article looking at what’s written in the bible and given personal reasons for why I baptised my children when they were about 2.5 months old.
What’s The Process In Organising A Baptism?
If you don’t have a regular church you attend there are a few extra steps to be taken when organising a baptism for your child:
- Choose a church – is there a church you have attended that you liked? If not, maybe google and see what’s in your area and check out their webpage to get a feel for what they do and how formal/casual their services are. Note: some churches don’t do infant/child baptisms like Baptist churches, so keep this in mind when selecting a church.
- Attend the church – it’s a good idea to go and check out the church first. It will make it easier for you to decide which one you feel comfortable with. And give you a chance to meet the pastor.
- Contact the church about baptism – you might like to ring or email the church or talk directly to the pastor when at church. The church’s website will have their contact details and may also have a bit of info on baptisms.
- Home Visit from Pastor – Some churches do this but maybe not all of them. We had a home visit from a Lutheran pastor and it was a casual chat over coffee – about babies, baptism, what hopes we have for our child and he also asked about our faith. This helped me understand the big responsibility we had in raising our child to know God. At that point in time I was still pretty sleep deprived and my life revolved around feeding times and changing nappies. So it was good to step back and see the big picture.
- Possibly attend a baptism class – some churches have baptism classes that you need to attend before having your child baptised. These weren’t offered where our children were baptised so I don’t know too much about them.
- Choose Godparents – this can be kinda hard if you don’t attend church. Often aunties and uncles are chosen in this case as you know they will always be part of the child’s life, as we did. If you have someone in mind to be godparent that has a different religion/denomination check out the article I wrote looking at what is expected by different denominations. The best choice is someone who has a firm belief in Jesus who can share this belief with your child.
- Work out details of the baptism day – There will be some forms to fill out etc. Some churches have certain Sundays that they perform baptisms, like the first Sunday of every month. Others will give you a few options of available Sundays that would work for them. Then it’s just a matter of working out a day that suits your godparents and yourself.
If after all this you’ve decided that you’d rather wait to baptise your child some churches offer a small thanksgiving service or similar for your child instead. Again, it depends on the church.
Do I Need To Attend Church After The Baptism?
The church will definitely want you to keep coming back after your child is baptised. The other members of the church would love to see you back too. The church wants to see you successful in keeping the promises you made at your child’s baptism and wants to help.
Many people find having a faith community around them helpful in raising their child to know Jesus.
The church often views your child as a member of the church if they have been baptised there.
In saying this it may be possible to raise your child to know God outside the church if you have a solid faith. However, there are so many things pulling for our attention in this world so you’ll need to stay focused and constantly remind yourself of God’s promises.
The best and only real way I see this working is if you make bible reading a priority – ask God questions about it as you go and ask him to help you understand it. I love The Message bible, it’s written like a novel (a really, really long one) but it’s written in everyday language which make it really easy to understand.
It makes it much easier to talk with your child about God and answer their questions if you have spent time digging into the bible yourself.
Even better, combine the two – bible reading at home and church!!!
What Are the Requirements for A Catholic Baptism?
The Importance of Baptism
Congratulations! Whether you are an adult studying for your own Baptism or you are preparing for the Baptism of your child, you take an extremely important step in you and your family's spiritual life. Baptism is necessary for salvation. Our Lord Jesus Christ instituted Baptism as the means of removing original sin from our souls, of being born again and incorporated into His Mystical Body, and of becoming members of His Church. There is nothing else more important for you right now than to ensure that you and your family members are baptized.
What Are the Requirements for Catholic Baptisms?Baptism is available for every last human being on earth. Our Lord desires the salvation of all mankind and He established Baptism as the means for our salvation. As such, it is necessary for salvation. In order to ensure that everyone who desires Baptism understands its importance, there are certain requirements for Baptisms.
What Are the Requirements for Infant Baptisms?- Infant baptism is for children from birth until generally their 4th - 7th birthday.
- All children who are baptized must have at least one godparent. See below for more information
- The parents must intend to raise the child in the Catholic Faith
- Infants must be generally baptized in the parish that at least one of their parent's attend. For Baptisms at a different church, shrine, or oratory, a permission letter from your pastor may be needed
- The child's birth certificate should be available for presentation to the parish
- The parent's marriage certificate should be presented to the parish. However, even for parents married outside of the Church, Baptism is not to be denied to the infant. If you are currently married outside of the Church, this is an ideal time to have your marriage blessed to rectify this. The process is rather simple. Contact your local parish to learn more on how to do this.
- Each parent must also generally attend a Baptism Preparation Seminar.
Children who have reached the age of reason, which is generally around 7th grade, can no longer be baptized as infants. The Rite of Baptism is the same for everyone, but the process differs slightly. These children, since they have the knowledge of right and wrong, must generally take an RCIC (The Rite of Christian Initiation of Children) class to understand what the Church teaches.
What Are the Requirements to Serve As A Godparent?All baptisms (infant, older child, or adult) require a godparent. Being a godparent is both a great honor and a serious responsibility. For that reason, the Church has put a number of laws in place in regards to who may rightfully serve as a godparent.
- Godparents must be baptized, have attained the use of reason and have the intention of fulfilling their role as a godfather of a godmother.
- A godparent must be a confirmed Catholic and have received their First Holy Communion
- A godparent must be Catholic. A godparent may not be protestant or any other denomination than Catholic. A person who is not a baptized Catholic must first convert to Catholicism through the Rite of Christian Intiation for Adults in order to become Catholic.
- A godparent must be actively practicing the Catholic Faith. What does that mean? A godparent must live a life in conformity with the teachings of the Church including weekly attendance at Mass, rejection of artificial contraception and abortion, and a godparent must not support politicians who promote and support abortion, et cetera.
- Godparents cannot be the father or mother or spouse of the person to be baptized.
- The godparent must, either in person or through proxy, physically hold or touch the one baptized, or receive him immediately after baptism from the sacred font or from the hands of the minister.
- The godparent must be at least sixteen years of age, unless for a just reason the minister admits younger persons or unless a different age is stipulated by the Bishop.
- The godparent must know the rudiments of the faith. They must intend to help teach the godchild the Catholic Faith.
- The godparent must not be married outside of the Church, unless they have since had their marriage recognized in the Church. However, marriage is not a requirement. A single Catholic may serve as a godparent, assuming all other requirements here are met, of course.
- The godparent must generally attend a Baptism Preparation Class.
Only one godparent is required. Two godparents are permitted but if you choose two, they must be of the opposite sex with one serving as the godmother and one as the godfather. They do not have to be married to each other.
Do Godparents Have to Be Catholic?Yes. While it is not possible for a non-Catholic to serve as a godparent, a non-Catholic who is a baptized Christian in a protestant denomination may serve as a Christian witness to the Baptism, but the godparent to the Baptism must be Catholic and meet the above requirements since a godparent is above all responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the child. A non-Catholic could not fulfill this requirement. A non-baptized person may not serve as a godparent or as a Christian witness.
Do Godparents Have to Be Present At The Baptism?Godparents are often from out-of-town. If the godparent is unable to be present on the day of the Baptism, he or she can be represented by proxy. A proxy can be a family member, a friend or a parishioner who will stand in for the official godparent on the day of the baptism. However, even in such cases, the actual godparent must still meet the above requirements including taking a godparent preparation class.
Do Godparents Have to Take A Baptism Class?Yes, any godparent must generally take a Baptism Preparation Class.
What Are the Requirements for Catholic Adult Baptisms?Adults who have not yet received the Sacrament of Baptism must go through instruction in the Catholic Faith in order to receive Baptism. This will often take the form of RCIA (The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults). These classes ordinarily begin around September of each year and end at the Easter Vigil when the adult is baptized, receives our Lord's true Body and Blood in Holy Communion, and receives the Sacrament of Confirmation. Since not all adults may attend these classes based on their schedule and responsibilities, and because those who have missed the start of the classes should not have to wait another year, online RCIA classes are offered to help make RCIA accessible for everyone.
What Does A Catholic Baptism Cost?There is no charge for the Sacraments. Every single human being, rich and poor alike, are called to the life of a baptized Catholic. While some parishes may ask for a stipend to offset the administrative cost of the parish or to provide a small amount of income to the priest, who generally makes no salary a year, these should not be seen as costs. For families who are unable to pay the requested stipend, simply inform the parish of this. No parish may turn you away for failing to pay a stipend. The Sacraments are always free and cost nothing.
Where Can I Take the Baptism Seminar?The Baptism Seminar Class offered by CatechismClass.com has helped prepare thousands of parents and godparents for Baptisms. Learn more, watch a video about the class, and consider signing up at the link below.
how it goes, how much it costs, what is needed according to the rules of the church
Being baptized, a person is, as it were, born again and begins a spiritual life - this is how it is considered in Orthodoxy. How to baptize a child in a church? Read in our material
Polina Romanova
journalist
Archimandrite Philip
Switchkar press secretary
and the Komi-Vyryansk diocese
after the baptism of the person, a new world and new opportunities are opened. He receives other rights, but at the same time bears responsibility for this. Now, through the Sacrament of Communion, he unites with God, his life does not end with physical death. He is eternal in the spiritual world. This is one of the main meanings of the Sacrament of Baptism.
What do you need to know about the baptism of the child
- Age
- Cross
- How to prepare
- What is
- Popular issues and answers
9000
Age 9000 9000in ideal You need to baptize a child in the first days of life. It is possible, following the example of the infant Christ, to baptize him on the eighth day after his birth. True, then the Sacrament will pass without the mother of the newborn: she can enter the temple only after a cleansing prayer, and this happens forty days after childbirth. Infancy in Orthodoxy lasts up to seven years. It is believed that such kids are not yet able to be responsible for their actions, so they can take communion without confession.
- But they are not free from original sin - the inheritance of the act of Adam and Eve, - explains the press secretary of the Syktyvkar and Komi-Zyryansk diocese, Archimandrite Philip (Filippov) . - Before baptism, babies are deprived of many opportunities: they cannot receive communion, celebrate Angel Day, which they simply do not yet have, they cannot be prayed for in the Church - only at home. In any case, the choice of the timing of Baptism remains with the parents. It is for parents, and not for grandparents and other relatives, friends and sympathizers.
In favor of early baptism, the clergyman cites a well-known quotation from St. Gregory of Nyssa's essay with the telling title “Against Those Who Postpone Baptism”: “Protect yourself from impermanence and the uncertainty of life. Do not bargain with grace, so as not to lose the gift.
And since, from the point of view of Orthodoxy, it is better not to delay this, then a child can be baptized on any day of the week, regardless of the time of day, however, just like an adult. Better late than never - that's about baptism too.
Godmother and godmother
The godparents of a newly converted Christian actually become his second parents. Now the responsibility for the spiritual and moral life of their child before God lies with both biological and spiritual fathers-mothers. Therefore, the choice of godparents should be taken seriously. They are better not to "appoint" frivolous people, even if they are childhood friends and just sociable guys. Also, you should not agree to a flattering offer to become a godfather or a godmother, if Sunday morning sleep is more expensive for you than the communion of a little ward and in general you are still far from the church. When becoming a godfather or godmother of a charming baby, one should not forget that very soon he will become a rebellious teenager, and it is you, in alliance with your parents, who will have to protect him from worldly temptations.
- Godparents are fully responsible for the godchild until he reaches the age of 18. Then, as a Christian, he is responsible for himself before God. Orthodox upbringing and education is the work of godparents, and it is good when this happens in alliance with biological parents. This concern includes home education, attendance at liturgies, and other spiritual duties, - Archimandrite Philip explains .
During the baptism itself, it is the godparents who aloud renounce Satan for the baby and unite with Christ and receive their child from the hands of the priest from the font. During the sacrament, the godparents often hold the child in their arms - unless, of course, he himself does not mind. If it was not possible to find both godparents at once, then the boy needs a godfather mentor, and the girl needs a godmother mentor. By the way, godfather and godmother cannot be husband and wife.
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How to prepare for the baptism of the child
for the child’s baptism should be prepared not only morally, although this is, of course, the most important condition. Baptismal "accessories" will be required, and in some churches you will have to attend special talks on the topic of baptism.
What do you need? First, the cross. It doesn't matter what it will be kept on around the neck: on a simple braid or a gold chain. Secondly, a baptismal shirt - you can buy it or sew it yourself. In fact, as Fr. Philip, this is not a mandatory attribute of baptism, it's just accepted in church tradition. A clean light undershirt or dress will be enough. Thirdly, candles. They can be purchased before the Sacrament is performed in the temple where it will take place. They will be needed to participate in the procession during the sacrament. Fourthly, the towel is not a small waffle, but a large bath towel.
It is also worth thinking about what to dress your baby in. It is better to refuse sliders. A sandbag or panties "without legs" are ideal: there are moments in the sacrament when the baby's legs should be bare.
How a child is baptized
Baptism can be chamber and collective. Especially many people who are being baptized gather in the church on the feast of the Epiphany on January 19th. But for the relatives of the baby, this is one of the most important events in life, therefore, as a rule, the day of the baptism of the child is agreed in advance, and it takes place in a chamber - only for this little Christian.
Before the start of the Sacrament, the priest will explain to everyone their role and place in the church: godparents or parents with the culprit of the event in their arms, grandmothers, sister-brothers and other relatives.
Baptism begins with naming prayers, by which the baptized are given their Christian names. From this moment on, the baby acquires a heavenly patron and protector in the form of a Guardian Angel. If there is no name in the calendar that the baby was named at birth, he receives a new one - a church one. So, Elvira can become Emilia, Yana - Joanna, Adele - Aglaya.
Next comes the time of the exorcism of the devil. The method of exile is the reading of the four prohibition prayers. In them, the evil one is forbidden to deal with a newly converted Christian. As a sign of this, the priest turns to those being baptized and blows crosswise three times in the face of each, pronouncing the corresponding words of the spell.
Now the sacrament participants turn their faces to the west - as a rule, this is the exit from the temple, and the priest begins to ask questions that should be answered loudly, clearly and preferably in unison. Batiushka asks three times twice about whether those who have come renounce Satan, to which, of course, they answer in the affirmative: “I renounce.”
In addition to the verbal renunciation of the evil one, the participants in the sacrament confirm this by action. After the priest's words: "Blow and spit on him," they do it literally. In insulting the demon, the Orthodox, as it were, categorically declares: I have nothing in common with you, Satan, I spit on you and will do this all my life.
Having renounced Satan, the Orthodox unites with Christ. To do this, everyone returns to their original position facing east: with their backs to the entrance, and facing the altar, and again answer the questions of the priest. Several times, with the help of questions, he clarifies the consciousness of the intentions of the parents and godparents of the child, who again respond with prepared formulations. If someone, after the categorical conversation, forgot them, the priest will tell you. Here comes the turn of the godparents. Some of them will have to read the main covenant of a Christian - the Symbol of the Orthodox Faith. And preferably by heart.
- A creed is a set of basic doctrinal truths or dogmas, which briefly states what we Christians believe. If none of those who came by heart knows the Creed, the priest himself can read it, and the rest will try to understand at least something. Ideally, every Christian should not only know it by heart, but also be able to comment on each line. This is usually the first assignment in Christian self-education. It is easy to find the Symbol of Faith, it is in any Prayer Book or in a book that is simply necessary for everyone and which is called very familiarly: “The Law of God,” explains Archimandrite Philip.
After reading the Creed, the priest reminds the participants of the baptism how to properly make the sign of the cross and bow.
- During the sign of the cross, the fingers must be folded in a certain way, with a “pinch”: the thumb, index and middle fingers together, which means our faith in the Trinity, the ring and little fingers are pressed to the palm - as a sign that Christ was both God and Man . We overshadow ourselves with them like this: on the forehead, on the stomach, on the right shoulder and on the left, then a small bow. We, as it were, invoke the sanctification of God on all our thoughts, feelings and actions. And we are baptized from right to left in honor of the prudent thief, who was crucified on the right hand of Christ and did not swear at Him together with everyone, but simply quietly asked the Lord to remember him in the Kingdom of Heaven, - explains the priest.
Now comes the most important thing. Baptism is impossible without water, since Christ himself was baptized in the waters of the Jordan River. That is why on the Epiphany, despite any frosts, the Russians tend to the font and the hole. The priest blesses the water for the baptism of the child, either right during the sacrament, or, usually, in advance. Don't worry about the baby getting cold: the water for baby baptism is always warm. Before immersion, the priest will anoint the baby with oil, which symbolizes the Grace of God - the forehead, chest, ears, arms and legs. After this, the child is immersed in water three times. Some kids are scared, but someone, on the contrary, likes it. The reaction of the baby during baptism will be the subject of conversation and memories for years to come.
Ideally, a child should be baptized in the first days of life. Photo: Andrey KARA
Now the baby is rightfully considered Orthodox, and a cross is put on him. It is no coincidence that the cross is called wearable, it is not worn over clothes, as an ornament, it should be literally on the body.
The sacrament of the baptism of a child can be called a double sacrament, because in its process one more is performed. Like baptism, it happens only once in a person's life. This is the sacrament of Confirmation.
- In this Sacrament, a person is given the grace-filled Gifts of the Holy Spirit to lead the Christian life, - comments Fr. Philip. - For the second time in their lives, they are anointed only when they are ordained as bishops, and earlier - when they enter the royal throne, hence the expression "anointed to the kingdom." As with oil, the priest will anoint the child's forehead, chest, lips, eyes, nose, ears, arms and legs.
After all this, it's time for a religious procession - a very small one - around the font where the baptism took place. This is where the candles prepared in advance are lit. Usually at this time, everyone is in high spirits, many willingly respond to the father's call to sing along with the choristers. After that, the Holy Scriptures are read, and the priest prays for the godparents and their godson or goddaughter.
Immediately after Baptism and Chrismation, the priest carefully cuts off a small strand of hair with small scissors. This is the first grateful sacrifice of a newly converted Christian to the Creator.
The baby's baptism is almost over. It remains only to read the prayers of churching, and for boys this is done in the most holy place of the temple - the altar. Girls, like women, are not allowed there, so prayers are read to them in front of the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos.
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Popular issues and popular issues and popular issues and popular issues and popular issues and popular issues and popular issues and popular issues. Popular issues answers
How much does a child's baptism "cost"?
To name the “cost” of the sacrament, like any other attribute purchased in a church shop, is not entirely correct. This concept is replaced in the temple by the word "donation". Its size is determined in each church in its own way. The baptism of a child is a priceless gift from above, and it cannot be valued in principle. But in order to accomplish it, it is necessary to spend electricity, water, attract people to prepare the temple, invite singers. The donation made by a Christian is a sign of respect for the work of all these people and the needs of the temple.
Is there a difference in the baptism of a girl and a boy?
There is no difference between the Baptism of a boy and a girl, except for the final "chord" when the boy is brought to the altar and the girl is left outside.
How to choose a place for baptism?
Sometimes parents want to baptize their child in a specific church: in an old church in a distant village or a church near their home. Actually, there is no difference. The grace of God through the performance of the sacrament of baptism is so strong that in some cases it can be performed even at home. It is no coincidence that if a child is sick or weak at birth, a priest can perform the sacrament even in a hospital.
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Capturing one of the main events in a person's life is not prohibited in the temple. On the contrary, for the rest of your life you will have memories of the most important day in earthly life. But it’s better to take the priest’s blessing for this - just ask permission. By the way, the best position for shooting, as Fr. Philip, - in front of the priest and a little to the side, then you can choose the most successful angle for the main points.
Problems with filming may arise during a general baptism - inadvertently, you can violate the law "On the Protection of Personal Data".
Why lectures before baptism?
Parents who have gathered to baptize a baby are often perplexed: why attend special classes or catechumens before the sacrament, which have now become mandatory in many churches. Somewhere they limit themselves to a short conversation, somewhere they offer a series of lectures. All this is being done with the only good goal - to enlighten the Orthodox, their parents and godparents, to explain to them the meaning of the sacrament and the foundation of the faith they have chosen, to tell them about what awaits them in a new spiritual life. The goal is awareness.
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How to properly baptize Orthodox Christians
The sign of the cross of the Orthodox is different from the Catholic and Old Believers. Why it happened and how to be baptized correctly for an Orthodox Christian - read in this material
More details Share in the comments: Comments for the site Cackl e Baptism of a child: what godfathers need to know - Mercy.ruWho can be godparents for a child at baptismChristian. “Only one requirement: they (godparents) must be true Orthodox Christians. And, of course, love your godchildren. Nothing else,” says the rector of the Church of the Holy Trinity in Khokhly 9 in an interview with the Foma magazine.0006 Archpriest Alexey Uminsky . Both a family friend and a relative - the child's aunt or uncle, grandparents and other family members, except for the actual parents of the person being baptized - can become a godfather. In some cases, it is allowed for the elder sisters and brothers of the baby to become godparents. To the question “Can a sister be a godmother,” priests answer differently. The decision depends on how old the potential godmother is: if she is over 14 and she can instruct her godson in the faith, take care of him and be responsible for his spiritual life, the decision can be positive. An important aspect that usually causes a lot of controversy: can a husband and wife be godparents of one child? Priest Feodor Lukyanov , head of the Patriarchal Commission on Family Affairs, Protection of Motherhood and Childhood, says that there is no canonical ban on this, but there is a pious tradition according to which situations in which spouses also become godfathers to each other are usually not allowed. This tradition is connected with the ban on marriages between godparents of one child, which has existed in the Church since ancient times. “Some priests are more or less loyal to this issue, so each specific case is considered separately,” Father Fyodor advises. He also clarifies that the ban on marriages between godparents of one child was lifted in 2017, when the Council of Bishops adopted a decision to that effect. At the same time, spouses are not prohibited from being godparents of different children from the same family, provided that they were not baptized at the same time. There are a number of other questions about who to choose as godparents that have more to do with tradition than rigid restrictions. So, contrary to popular notions, an unmarried girl or a pregnant woman can be a godmother, and she can baptize both girls and boys - contrary to the strange “sign”, according to which the first goddaughter can “take away” her future happiness from the godmother. The godfather can be a priest and a deacon, although they are usually reluctant to accept this role, since they have many different concerns and cannot fulfill all the prescribed duties, but can only pray for their spiritual child. Who should not be godparents to your childBefore the start of a mass baptism in the waters of Lake Novopyatigorsk in the Stavropol Territory. 06/19/2013. Photo: Vladimir Makarov / RIA NovostiThe choice of a godfather is difficult, there are candidates who may not be desirable for this role, no matter how wonderful human relations the potential godfather and the parents of the child may be. So, monks and nuns are strictly not allowed to receive receptions - they have other tasks, far from worldly fuss. A person who has fallen away from the Church (who does not take communion regularly), a representative of another religion (including other Christian denominations) or an atheist cannot be a godfather. There cannot be a person who lives in fornication and regularly breaks other commandments of God. People with mental illness cannot be taken as godparents, because they will not be able to fulfill the main task - to educate their godchild in the faith and instruct in the rules of spiritual life. There is also an age limit. At what age can one become a godmother or godmother? It is believed that for girls this age starts from 14 years old, for boys - from 15. By this moment they are already gradually becoming mature individuals, they can realize the responsibility entrusted to them, consciously pray for the child they have become a godparent and take an active part in his upbringing . You should not invite a godfather to a couple who is preparing for marriage with a subsequent wedding. Although we noted above that the ban on such unions has been eliminated, it is still not worth further tempting fate. It is better to allow a young man and a girl to find the fullness of kinship in a family union - it is incommensurably higher than the spiritual kinship that binds godfathers together. Is it possible to baptize a child without godparents? May 14, 2016. Photo: Vitaly Belousov/RIA NovostiFinding worthy godparents for a child, taking into account all the requirements that are placed on them, is sometimes not easy. It happens that only one successor can be found. If this is a person of the same sex as the godson - a godfather for a boy or a godmother for a girl, this may be enough, since the second godfather is considered "additional", and his choice is rather a pious tradition. It will be difficult for the baby to do without godparents at all - after all, it is they who vouch for the new member of the Church before God. The main task of godparents is to help the child understand his faith correctly, teach him the basics, help and support him in spiritual life. What to do if there were no such people surrounded by the family? “If the parents think that they themselves can cope with the church upbringing of the child, in principle, they can be baptized even without sponsors. You need to go to the church where you are going to baptize and find out exactly what is needed for this,” Archpriest Andrey Efanov advises . Rector of the Church of St. Equal-to-the-Apostles Prince Vladimir in Novogireev (Moscow) Archpriest Alexei Batanogov believes that in some cases it is worth delaying and if the family gradually becomes churched and finds new acquaintances in the parish, the issue with godparents can be resolved positively. “Families often come up and say that they want to be baptized, but there is no godfather, but if only they don’t want someone. The question is that there are no such people in the environment of their parents, because they themselves do not live a Christian life. If they were at least a little parishioner, there would immediately be an opportunity to meet believers who could be godparents,” says the priest. He also believes that in this case the practice is possible, according to which a priest can appoint a godfather from among the parishioners, also has the right to exist. Rector of St. George's Church in Nakhabino near Moscow, Priest Pavel Ostrovsky reminds that adults, unlike children, do not always need godparents. “If we are talking about adults, the recipient should be the person who led you to faith. If a person is an adult and came to faith on his own, without any friends and acquaintances, he can be baptized himself, without having godparents. The obligation of godparents applies only to children. What godparents need to know before the sacrament of baptismAbout christening - priest Pavel OstrovskyBefore the sacrament, the godparents must pass an interview with the priest. The presence may also be required from the parents of the child - if they are not parishioners of the temple in which they plan to baptize their son or daughter, and the priest personally does not know them, not candidates for godparents. Sometimes not one, but two categorical conversations are held. The first meeting is devoted to a brief introduction to the foundations of Orthodoxy, the second is a conversation about the role of godparents. What should a godmother know before a child is baptized? Each temple has its own rules, but a number of standard questions can be distinguished. The priest can clarify the full names of the parents, godparents and the baby, the address of residence and the date of birth of the child. The godparents will definitely be asked the date of the last communion and specify how often he / she attends services, whether he is married and whether he is officially married. What else do you need to know before the conversation before baptism for godparents? Of course, the main prayers. Most often, the priest asks by heart "Our Father", "King of Heaven" and "Our Lady of the Virgin, rejoice", may ask to read the "Symbol of Faith". All these prayers can be found, for example, on the Pravoslavie.ru portal. After the date of the baptism is set, the godparents start preparing for the sacrament. A week before the event, they must confess and take communion, and three days before the christening, they must fast. During the conversation before baptism for godparents, you can ask the priest questions that concern you, including the most delicate ones. Often women are worried about whether it is possible to baptize a child with menstruation at the godmother. Alas, there is no consensus on this matter in the Church today. Traditionally, it is forbidden to participate in the sacraments if a woman is passing critical days at that moment, but in some temples it is considered acceptable to descend to bodily weakness. In any case, it is better to clarify this point in an individual conversation with a priest - he will definitely suggest a way out of a difficult situation. What godparents should doBaptism of an infant in the church in the name of St. Seraphim of Sarov. Yekaterinburg, Russia. 05/02/2015. Photo: Donat Sorokin / TASS“Godparents are those people who, in the early years of their godchildren, give them vows of Holy Baptism, a promise of fidelity to God,” explains Archpriest Pavel Gumerov , author of the book “Baptism and Churching. Preparation for the sacrament of Baptism and the first steps in the Church. Batiushka says that during the sacrament of baptism, the godparents not only hold the foolish baby in their arms, calm him down, and then take him after three immersions in the font. The recipients also renounce Satan for their spiritual children, unite with Christ and confess their faith, reading the Creed for them. “We baptize children according to the faith of the recipients and according to the faith of the parents as the closest people. Therefore, both have a huge responsibility,” says the priest. He explains that the most important work of godparents begins after the sacrament - they are obliged to contribute to the spiritual education of the godchild, instruct him in matters of faith, go to church together, pray, do everything so that the baby they receive from the font can become good a Christian. What should a godmother do and what can a godfather do for his ward? “Godparents are very responsible persons, they become guarantors before God for the souls of their godchildren,” says Father Pavel Gumerov. At the moment of baptism, together with their parents, in front of the Cross and the Gospel, lying on the lectern, they make a promise to God Himself. What promise? That they will make every effort so that the newly baptized baby grows up as a believer, an Orthodox person. Their duty now is to pray for their spiritual children, teach them prayers, instruct them in the Orthodox faith and take them to the church to take communion, and then, after seven years, to confess. So that when their godson enters perfect years, he already knows how to pray to God, he knows what we believe in and why we go to church. Of course, the greatest responsibility for the Christian upbringing of children lies with the parents, but godparents can also greatly influence their godchildren, become their spiritual teachers and mentors.” Since women are often more responsible, they are traditionally entrusted with the responsibility of organizing christenings and indispensable purchases in such cases. There are no strict requirements in this regard; the godfather can also purchase the items necessary for the sacrament. What a godmother buys for a girl's christening and what a godmother buys for a boy's christening depends only on their agreements with the child's parents. Regardless of the gender of the godson, you need to purchase a cross, a baptismal shirt in a specialized store or in a church shop, bring one, or better, two towels or a large sheet to the christening, in which you can wrap the baby after the font. Usually these attributes are chosen in accordance with the gender of the godson, with pink or blue trim, but this, again, is a requirement of taste and fashion, and by no means the strict requirements of the Church. The question of what godparents give for christening is also not strictly regulated. It is believed that the gift should correspond to the spirit of the event, so the traditional gifts for christening are the icon of the patron saint of the child or the guardian angel, the children's Bible or the Gospel, which, however, will be useful to the godson a little later. However, presentations can be quite secular - kids are advised to give a silver spoon "for the first tooth", toys, good and good books. |