Mother bond with child

The Miraculous Bond Between Mother and Child| National Catholic Register

Research shows that bonding between a mother and her baby begins during pregnancy

A mother and her child – both during pregnancy and after birth – affect each other in ways that science is just beginning to discover.

That’s according to a three-part statement released by the American College of Pediatricians called “The Infant-Mother Connection and Implications for their Future Health.”

Here are some highlights from the latest research on the dramatic changes that begin to take place in both mother and baby starting at the moment of conception and continuing after birth, in addition to how their interactions can have lifetime benefits.

The “Mommy” Brain & Body

The “mommy” brain, as it’s often called, actually exists. Thanks to neuronal and hormonal changes during pregnancy and after delivery, the mother’s brain adapts “to enhance the ability of the mother to care for her infant,” according to the statement. Hormones and other chemicals cause the mother’s brain to be remodeled, with some regions increasing in size and others decreasing. Some of the areas affected control behaviors such as nesting and protecting the young. Many of the changes assist in the development of “maternal behavior,” described as characterized by “caring and loving actions typically associated with caring for and raising the young.”

Besides the obvious physical changes a woman undergoes during pregnancy, her unborn baby also alters her immune system and impacts her nutrition:

Pregnancy presents the mother’s body with unique challenges. Her body must be able to adequately nourish the new baby while assuring her own nutrition. In addition, the mother’s immune system, which would normally identify the unborn as ‘nonself’ due to the baby’s unique genetic code, must be down-regulated to allow the baby to develop without being rejected, while still maintaining a sufficient maternal defense against infection. Finally, the mother must adapt her motivational system to incorporate the care of a child who has numerous needs, yet is not able to demonstrate gratitude for the selfless acts of the mother.

Bonding

Bonding between a mother and her baby begins during pregnancy. The two senses most involved in bonding and attachment are hearing and smelling. One study found that babies in utero recognize and become excited by the sound of their mother’s voices. Other studies have found that babies recognize the native language of their mothers in utero and demonstrate a preference for it over other languages. Other research found that a baby can actually remember words heard while in the womb.

Because unborn babies are, as the ACPeds paper puts it, “bathed in the amniotic fluid,” swallowing many ounces of it every day, they’re essentially being programmed “to prefer these same odors and tastes later on to enhance bonding with the mother.”

Newborns not only prefer the sound of their mother’s voice, they recognize it as early as two to four days after birth. For those mothers who sing and talk to their yet-to-be-born babies, studies have found that newborns recognize songs sung to them while in utero, and prefer hearing books that were read to them while still in the womb.

After Birth

Of course, mothers (and fathers) continue to impact their children long after birth. New research demonstrates that “responsive parenting” is critical to the short and long-term health, development and well-being of babies and children.

Authoritative parenting has long been the parenting style considered most beneficial to children, as ACPeds board member and pediatrician Dr. Jane Anderson discussed in a previous post, “Are Modern Parents Afraid to be Authority Figures?” New research demonstrates that responsive parenting is a key component of authoritative parenting, and can help to alleviate stress experienced by children both in utero and after birth. Here’s how the ACPeds paper describes it: “[R]esponsiveness can be to various situations, such as signs of illness, a verbal or facial expression of need, or an exploratory initiative. Responsiveness is a component of a more comprehensive parenting style, authoritative parenting, wherein parents are aware of and responsive to their child’s emotional and physical needs, and yet willing to consistently apply firm loving correction when needed.”

The World Health Organization identifies three components to responsive parenting. First, the parent notices the child’s attempt to gain attention. Second, the parent correctly interprets those signals. And third, the parent responds quickly to meet the child’s needs.

According to the WHO, responsive parenting “benefits children’s language, cognitive and psychosocial development across the life span.” There is evidence that a mother who responds appropriately to her infant’s needs actually enhances his brain development. It’s believed that children’s temperaments and their ability to self-regulate may also be affected positively by responsive parenting. One study found a link between responsive parenting and children’s language development. Another found that maternal responsiveness “facilitated greater growth in target infants’ social, emotional, communication and cognitive competence.”

The mother-child bond would be inexplicably amazing were it not for knowing that it was our Creator who designed those intricately interconnected systems that lead to one thing: love.

The Importance of Infant Bonding

When a caregiver consistently responds to an infant’s needs, it sets the stage for the growing child to enter healthy relationships with other people throughout life and to appropriately experience and express a full range of emotions.

By Mary Beth Steinfeld, M.D. 

The process of bonding with a new baby is natural for most mothers. Left alone, new mothers will hold their baby next to their bodies, rock them gently, strive for eye contact, sing or talk to the baby and begin to nurse. Often within just hours of birth, mothers report feelings of overwhelming love and attachment for their new baby.

A normal, full-term baby is also programmed to initiate and enter into a bonding relationship. Crying and making other noises, smiling, searching for the breast, and seeking eye contact give cues for a caring adult to respond.

When a caregiver consistently responds to an infant’s needs, a trusting relationship and lifelong attachment develops. This sets the stage for the growing child to enter healthy relationships with other people throughout life and to appropriately experience and express a full range of emotions.

An optimum opportunity

Dr. Steinfeld is a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at UC Davis Medical Center and UC Davis Children's Hospital in Sacramento.

But what happens when things don’t work out so well? What if babies and their mothers are separated at birth, as when babies are premature or ill and need special care? Or babies who are placed for adoption and may not meet their adoptive mother for quite some time after birth? Sometimes a new mother feels depressed or incapacitated after delivery and doesn’t feel like interacting with her newborn.

Fortunately, humans are not completely dependent on those early moments and have many opportunities to bond appropriately throughout the first year of life. We know that mothers who adopt babies and even older children are able to form normal attachment relationships.

Still, the first few days of life are believed to offer an optimum opportunity for bonding to take place. Standard practice in most U.S. hospitals allows mothers and babies as much time as possible together after birth. Even when babies are born ill or premature, the importance of bonding is recognized. Whenever possible, health care providers in intensive care units try to create opportunities for parents to spend time holding and caring for their babies.

Dads and siblings, too

Babies who are held and comforted when they need it during the first six months of life tend to be more secure and confident as toddlers and older children.

Is it important for fathers to bond with their babies? Absolutely. New fathers often feel less confident than new mothers around a baby, and may feel excluded in the close relationship that develops between the mother and baby. If a baby is breastfed, fathers may be uncertain about what activities they can engage in with the new baby.

Like mothers, fathers need quiet time to spend holding their new babies close, gazing into their eyes, talking to them and comforting them when distressed. Fathers may wish to take walks with their babies tucked into a Snugli-type carrier or simply hold a quiet baby while reading or watching TV.

Brothers and sisters also need time and opportunities to establish a relationship with a new baby. You might offer young children who are too unreliable to hold a baby safely to have brief, supervised periods playing next to a brother or sister in a large crib or playpen. Such times often elicit unique responses of excitement and joy from the baby and allow loving relationships to develop successfully.

The 'spoiling' myth

While bonding does not occur instantly for everyone, it should be well established within the first few months after you bring your baby home.

The importance of bonding with the primary caregiver cannot be overestimated. Failure to do so profoundly affects future development and the ability to form healthy relationships as an adult.

I urge parents to give themselves plenty of time with their baby and to follow their instincts. Respond to the baby’s cues, and offer love and comfort when distressed.

Contrary to the “wisdom” in past generations, responding quickly to crying with holding and nursing will not “spoil” a baby. Instead, babies who are held and comforted when they need it during the first six months of life tend to be more secure and confident as toddlers and older children.  

Seek help if you feel that bonding is not progressing as it should. While bonding does not occur instantly for everyone, it should be well established within the first few months after you bring your baby home. For any problem with your baby, ask your physician for help if you feel there is something wrong.

Symbiotic relationship between mother and child

During the intrauterine period, mother and child are one. What happens when a child is born? This magical connection remains even after the child is born.

This is called the symbiotic relationship between the child and the mother.

In the future, the baby will go through several phases that will make him more autonomous (independent) from his mother. The future life of the child largely depends on how this process goes. Believe me, this is not an exaggeration. nine0003

The most complex pathological cases of personality disorders are provoked by breakdowns in the "mother-child" interaction system in the early stages of a baby's development. Psychoanalyst Margaret Mahler argued that the roots of the most complex psychoses in children grow from the second half of life, as well as the second year.

Phases of personality development at an early age

What phases will a mother face at an early age?

Autistic phase

It occurs in the first month of life. A newborn baby can only react intuitively. Mom, at this time, gets the role of the “external executive self” of the child. She needs to provide him with assistance in the administration of all physiological mechanisms.

The baby is growing and the perception of the environment is improving. The autistic phase is replaced by a symbiotic phase over time.

Symbiotic phase

Mother and child are attuned almost at the level of the nervous system. A lot of processes take place in the nervous system, they are connected in the baby and his mother through a system of mirror neurons - this is what we call the symbiotic relationship between the child and the mother. nine0003

This is how nature intended it, since a human cub is born before its brain and nervous system mature. The nerve cells are already there. Thanks to the symbiotic connection between the child and the mother, paths appear between them, it is along them that nerve impulses will run, building the final architecture of the brain.

That the process has been started, the mother sees the baby smile and develop a "revival complex" when she comes to him. The symbiotic phase lasts up to five to six months. This is an extremely important phase, and it will be discussed in our article. nine0003

The symbiotic relationship between child and mother is an evolutionary mechanism for survival and cultural transmission in our human species.

The process of leaving the symbiosis begins in the baby between 2-3 years of age. There is a stormy and active - the crisis process of exit. This is how it should be according to the natural program. But modern children often get stuck in this process. By the way, both children and mothers…

Causes of “stuck” in the symbiotic relationship between mother and child

A) It is worth noting that the intellectual development of modern children is ahead of schedule, even when we are not fond of various methods of early development. The modern kid is seriously overloaded with information. For this reason, his intellectual development takes a lot of energy, and there is simply not enough energy to get out of the indicated symbiotic relationship between mother and child, to completely go through all the phases of this connection. Children are born someone stronger - someone weaker. Someone needs to make more efforts to get out of the symbiosis, someone needs less. nine0003

B) The second part of this symbiosis is the mother of the baby. It is often difficult for a mother to go through the phases to exit the symbiosis, since she did not go through these phases with her mother. Unfortunately, we have been raised in such a way that few people have the experience of a healthy exit from the symbiotic bond of a child and mother. We don't have this natural exit program to rely on: I went through it, I know. Now my baby is going through this and it is quite natural and normal.

The mother's behavior is also affected by the lack of basic experience from her childhood. And, consequently, anxiety appears both on the part of the baby and on the part of the mother. That is, these processes can be disrupted at the initial stages. nine0003

The symbiotic relationship between the child and the mother is the attunement of the nervous systems.

How does a child develop, how does he come to independence and exercise his motivation? How is the child's nervous system working?

First, together with my mother, thanks to her ability to regulate (well, if it exists) her emotions, her excitement, her ability to somehow calm down. The child adjusts to the specified balance of the mother's nervous system. Adjusts to mother's breathing, to mother's heartbeat - it's together. nine0003

Next, the baby learns to do something based on the mother. Something happens to him, but he finds a foothold in his mother.

And only then the baby will find a foothold in himself and act independently.

Separation-individualization phase

This is the phase of separation of the baby from the mother. Increasing independence and autonomy. This phase begins at about two years of age. The phase of separation-individuation itself is carried out in four stages:

Differentiation (at the age of 5-6 to 10 months of life) - there is an increase in the child's interest in the world around him.

Exercise (from the 10th to the 15th month of life) - the growth of curiosity and the development of walking. Although the baby is physically separated from the mother by motor activity, he still needs the support of his mother. Mom feeds the baby emotionally when he experiences a breakdown, is tired.

Recovery (from the 16th to the 24th month of life) - let's call it - the crisis of the second year of life. The child wants to be with his mother and without her at the same time. He has to overcome such internal contradictions. The intensity of inconsistency slowly decreases, the baby's autonomy increases and a more realistic perception of himself is formed. nine0003

“I myself” crisis (between the 24th and 30th months of life) is the so-called crisis of the third year of life. There is an increase in independence.

Many parents consider the manifestation of this crisis to be something bad, saying that it has bypassed their child. However, this position is wrong. The development of this period is in leaps and bounds: calm, mild moments are replaced by crises with a very rapid course.

During this crisis, the baby rises to a new level of development. For this reason, it is necessary to treat the child in such periods with understanding. Personality needs to go through in its development all of the stages provided by nature. Nature does not tolerate emptiness. nine0003

Mother-child bond | Nutrilak

02/11/2021 12101