While it is commonly known that the pregnant woman’s habits like smoking or drinking alcohol during pregnancy can harm the growing baby, there is a growing body of research suggesting that a man’s diet, drinking, smoking, and age may contribute to birth defects, autism, obesity, mental illnesses, and other problems in their kids.

In one study done by Kitlinska and team, it was found that children whose fathers were over 40 had a much higher risk of autism compared to those with fathers under 30. Other large studies backed up this finding. Older fathers also tend to have children who are more likely to get schizophrenia.

It was also established that obese men are were likely to father children who face a higher risk for obesity. Their children were more likely to be diagnosed with diabetes, an abnormal metabolism, and certain cancers. This may happen because obesity and poor nutrition cause changes in certain genes directly linked to these conditions.

As many as 3 out of 4 children diagnosed with foetal alcohol spectrum disorders had alcoholic fathers. Children with these disorders tended to have low birth weight, impaired brain development, and learning.

Try to learn as much as you can about pregnancy. Read about what to expect during each trimester. Get a good level of working knowledge of pregnancy symptoms. 

Initially, nausea hits and so does fatigue. What causes it? What can be done to help manage it? The iMumz App has week-by-week tips that extensively cover all symptoms and helpful suggestions.

The second trimester gets easier for mum, but she has to keep on top of her nutrition. What nutrients are needed? What kind of recipes would cover all her needs? Maybe, you might need to change your own eating habits to show solidarity with her.  

In the third trimester, aches and pains because of the growing belly may make her restless. Insomnia is also common. Back and foot massages can help ease stress and aches as the pregnancy goes on. Help her with cleaning and cooking.   

Here is a 30-second guide to what is happening in the pregnant woman’s emotional state. Once a fertilized egg implants in her uterus, the newly-forming placenta begins to secrete hormones that are critical for the baby’s growth.

This gush of  hormones is so essential for the pregnancy to flourish. Human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCG (which rises sharply in the first trimester, then dips and levels off around four months), keeps the embryo firmly implanted in the uterine lining. Progesterone and estrogen (which increase throughout the nine months) help sustain the pregnancy and cause the buildup of nourishing blood vessels.

This hormonal bath or shower of hormones  which is so beneficial to the baby can get really tough for the mum-to-be. It causes morning sickness, vomiting, and headaches. Estrogen can cause extreme moodiness. Add to that the aches, pains and fear of childbirth. The pregnant woman can get really vulnerable during pregnancy!

How can the husband of a pregnant woman help? Here are some suggestions:

Being pregnant can make her want to talk to someone, express all her feelings, take out all she has inside her, while sometimes she might be silent than usual. Yes, those hundreds of thousands of thoughts inside her may keep her silent, and being a good husband, it's your duty to understand when she wants to talk, and when she wants to be silent and just be in your arms.

While some pregnant women may be perfectly capable of taking care of the added expenses of pregnancy: the doctor’s fee, the cost of tests, the dietary additions, there may be some who are dependent on their husbands.  

Denying or grudging her this support can make her extremely anxious and even depressed.

Take some time to introspect about your daily routine and behaviours. It would be nice to make some adjustments. Think about what all you can do -- make her a glass of saffron milk every morning? Roast some nuts and keep at her bedside? Cut and serve her an apple as she gets ready to go to work? Remind her about things her ‘pregnancy brain’ is causing her to forget. You need to be patient and supportive!

It is also good to prepare for doctor’s visits with a list of your own questions and have a checklist ready for emergencies.

• Is it really required that I come to the doctor every time?
• Why are you so slow ?
• How will all this crying help?
• How can you forget to take medicines?
• You have to eat well for my baby.
• Don’t worry, it's normal.
• Why can’t you just snap out of this mood? 
• I don’t think other pregnant women have so many issues.
• Let’s get intimate!
• Will you get back into shape after eating so much?
  

10 Things Husband COULD DO for his pregnant wife

• Fix her a nutritious snack! 
• Get her fresh fruits and veggies.
• Accompany her during walks. 
• Maintain the calendar of her prenatal visits.  
• Help with household chores.
• Read books on pregnancy.
• Watch babies videos together.
• Talk to her reassuringly, without judging.
• Try to keep her away from family drama.
• Talk to the baby, too!

Maybe, you are going through some issues yourself. It could be work-related stress or a family situation that is making you emotionally distressed. Perhaps, the financial requirements in preparation for a new baby are making you anxious. Whatever it is, expression of your negative emotions on your pregnant wife carries huge risks for her and the unborn baby, too.

Your anger could cause changes in the mother's stress response systems, increasing her levels of the hormone cortisol, which in turn could increase cortisol levels in the unborn baby.

Cortisol is neurotoxic, so it has damaging effects on the brain when elevated to excessive levels. That might cause emotional problems for the baby after birth.

Depression during pregnancy is increasing in urban women with one report indicating its presence in 75% of new mothers. 

If the pregnant woman is fretting, anxious and unable to sleep, it causes a decrease in the function of her immune system, hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal gland. 

This directly affects the development of the unborn baby’s cognitive and noncognitive skills. It leads to increased incidences of uterine growth retardation, preterm labor, prolonged labor, fetal heart rate decline, low birth weight, increased cesarean section, postnatal neurobehavioral problems, and developmental disorder.

On the contrary, when the pregnant woman is calm and at peace, the baby’s brain grows faster and labour is easier.

• Try not to keep your worries to yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and hopes with each other. Just communicating, even if neither of you has a solution, can reduce anxieties greatly.
• Talk about what it will be like to be a parent . Talk about challenges you may confront like work and child care issues. Discuss expectations, values and beliefs.
• Use creative problem solving. Discuss each other’s point of view during which time the problem will likely disappear, decide which problem you are really addressing, and brainstorm on solutions.
• Use reassuring phrases like, ‘I am not feeling what you are, but I can understand’ or ‘Let’s take a day at a time’ or ‘Hold on, dear, I am with you.’
• Play this sweet game: Write out your role in her pregnancy and ask her also to write out what she wants your role to be. Compare the notes!  Maybe, there will be some startling discoveries.
• Talk about the bundle of joy that is on the way. Discuss the future. Visualise the happiness! You could meditate together using the beautiful options available on the iMumz App.
• Appreciate the efforts both of you are taking for each other. Go out for a walk, spend time with each other and talk about all the things that you are grateful for in your life.

15 Things Every Husband Should Do for His Pregnant Wife

Marriage brings two people together, who then take their life ahead as one. Every responsibility in a marriage should be shared by the husband and wife, and this goes for raising a child as well. Although the roles and responsibilities between parents can change according to the dynamics of each couple, both parents are equally responsible during a pregnancy.

Helping your wife have a smooth pregnancy, in fact, is a matter of fulfilling your responsibility as a loyal husband and father-to-be.

As a husband, you might wonder how you can help your wife sail through her pregnancy as smoothly as possible. Here we have a guide that will give you an idea of your duties as a husband during an important chapter in your life.

Also Read: Things Husband Must do for his Wife during Pregnancy

Here are some essential points to remember when your wife is pregnant. By following these, you will be a helpful husband and a great father!

1. Educate Yourself

At times, just knowing and understanding what your wife is going through is a huge step, so educate yourself about the things that happen during pregnancy. There are a lot of things that need to be taken care of when your wife is pregnant, so read up on food habits, clothes, or more serious things such as supplement intake and morning sickness so you can support your wife.

2. Help If She Struggles With Morning Sickness

Morning sickness can be a painful experience that can tire a woman out in no time. As a husband, you need to support your wife during this time. Encourage her, stand by her side, and make her feel comfortable. Set up a resting space for her so she can relax whenever the morning sickness hits.

3. Be Sensitive

Things will definitely change in the next few months. There will be mood swings, emotional struggle, pain, etc. During this time, these shifts are natural, so learn to be patient when your wife goes through these changes. Be sensitive to her requests and always respond with kindness. This will make her feel gratitude towards you.

4. Encourage and Support Her

Your wife needs support and encouragement at this stage of her life. Pregnancy is a time of several ups and downs – on the one hand, she is happy and excited; on the other hand, there are physical changes, uncertainties, and fear. During the journey that is her pregnancy, it is important that you encourage her and remind her that you are with her and that she need not worry.

Also Read: Fighting with Husband during Pregnancy

5. Be Flexible

Your wife may need a lot more from you on some days – this can be tough for a working husband. There might be times when you may have to change your plans or even cancel them to be there for your wife, so consider that as a possibility during her pregnancy. Try scheduling your informal meetings with friends according to your wife’s needs, and do not hesitate to ask for flexible work hours every now and then so you can spend time with your wife. This way, you can be there for her when she needs you.

6. Cook With Her

A lot of things seem like Herculean tasks during pregnancy, and cooking is one of them. Get involved in the kitchen and make the things she would make. She will appreciate the gesture and it will lighten up her load too, thus making her well-rested and calmer. Do not hesitate to take up the duty fully either!

7. Be Around for Her

Pregnant women are most often suggested to take ample rest and not strain themselves, because of which most of them end up going to their native place as it is a safe space. As important as that is, make sure that you remain in constant touch – if possible, be with her till the 8th month of her pregnancy and take up responsibilities together.

8. Plan With Her

Awaiting your child’s birth is exciting. As a responsible couple, it is important that you plan for the future so that you are ready once your baby arrives. Make plans with your wife and discuss all the things that are important – this will encourage her and remind her that you two are indeed in this together. This is also the time you can start thinking of names for your little one.

9. Take up Responsibilities

Taking up responsibilities around the house is an important way of showing support to your wife. Help her with the little things that she may need help with, but also take up some of the labour without her having to say it. By taking up some of her emotional labour, you will make her calm and happy.

10. Be a Good Listener

Pregnancy can be a frustrating experience as much as it is a magical one, so it is highly likely that your wife will have some grievances. In these times, it’s helpful to be a good listener – listen to your wife’s complaints about pain and discomfort, about cravings and milestones of her body changing. Lending her an ear will make her really happy as she will be able to express her frustration and go back to a calm state of mind.

11. Lend a Hand in Household Chores

This is the time to take responsibility for household chores. It will soon become harder for her to take care of the house, and it is your house as much as it is hers – it’s time to take care of it! Carrying a baby is not an easy task. Hence, it is important that the two of you share responsibilities at the least.

12. Visit the Doctor

Accompanying your wife to doctor visits is an important thing you should do during her pregnancy. Visiting the doctor can get stressful if there are complications, and you should not leave your wife to face it all alone. Whenever your wife schedules a doctor’s appointment, you must go with her.

13.

Prepare with her for the big day. At times, preparing for the delivery and waiting for the baby can get extremely stressful for a woman, so make sure you have your resources ready as and when she needs them. Keep a maternity bag ready with all the things she will need at the hospital. Read up on diapering, how to swaddle a baby, how to make the baby spit-up, and other things that are essential for good parenting. Ensure your wife that you are capable of handling things while she rests and takes care of the baby. Always show your support.

14. Monitor Her Food and Water Intake

Being pregnant means always being sure that the woman is eating and drinking correctly – make it your responsibility to know what she needs to consume to keep herself and her baby healthy. What time does she have to take her supplements? Is she eating the right food at the right time? What is she averse to eating? What is she craving? What food is good for the baby, and what is not? Is she drinking enough water? Make sure you have answers to all these questions during your wife’s pregnancy, as her health is of utmost importance.

15. Make Her Feel Special

As the pregnancy progresses, your wife may feel low and a little out of place when it comes to her physical appearance because of her changing body. At this time, you may not understand how to convince her that she is perfect as she is. So, try to make her feel beautiful and special. You can try a maternity photoshoot to make her feel special. When a husband cares for her wife during pregnancy, it can make a stark difference in how she sees herself.

When a baby is born, both the parents take responsibility. In the same way, even when a woman is pregnant, both parents must take equal responsibility and work things out together. When a woman carries a baby, she takes all the responsibilities that come her way. As a father, it is important to support her through this process. At no time should you make her feel that the responsibility is only on her. The role of a husband during pregnancy is essential and it will definitely change the way your wife completes the 9 months. So, make sure that you do everything possible to enrich this journey of pregnancy.

Resources and References: NHS

Also Read: Husband and Wife Relationship during Pregnancy

The role of a man in pregnancy

So, your wife is pregnant, which means that you are expecting a baby together. And, most likely, you are interested in questions about how this pregnancy will directly affect you, your wife and your relationship in general. In order for everything to turn out well, you need to understand what your wife expects from you, and what is your role in this difficult period.

The first thing your wife always expects from you is fulfilling a male role, fulfilling male duties, which can manifest themselves as participation and support in everyday ordinary life.

However, the time of pregnancy differs from the usual life of the spouses. Moreover, pregnancy itself consists of trimesters, which also have their own characteristics. Therefore, your participation and support should be different in each trimester.

First trimester

The wife's emotional state can be described as "here and now".

• During this period, it is important for your wife first of all to accept her pregnancy, to accept all the changes that are happening to her and in her.
• She becomes helpless because the physiological and hormonal restructuring of the body in this trimester takes a lot of strength. A woman in her emotional state in the 1st trimester approaches the characteristics of a small child who needs parental care and priceless love.

On the other hand, it is the realization that both of you are becoming parents that prompts her to “test” you again and again for your readiness for fatherhood: what kind of father are you for her child, how do you cope with your role…

Therefore, your task during this period is to try to be a father for both - for your wife and baby. And you won’t be able to come up with anything better than the simplest thing - to fulfill her “strange” desires, pamper her, protect her and show her how much you love her. Because attention to her, to her condition means for the wife that you will also take care of the child.

Supporting your wife at the beginning of pregnancy, you will get much more than you gave: you will get her confidence that you are there, that you can take care of her in a difficult responsible period, that you are an attentive, feeling father and you can have children with you.

Second trimester

The emotional state of the wife fits the definition of "bread and circuses".

In the second trimester the emotional and intellectual sphere of a woman changes:

• the intensity of her emotions becomes brighter;
• long experiences disappear;
• the leading emotional background is positive and if nothing happens, life is beautiful.

Now your wife is quite well adapted to her condition, eats "for two" and needs a variety of positive emotions.

What is your role in this trimester? To be with her - a partner, in all her endeavors: theater, exhibitions, cinema, shops, various taste changes (including possible restrictions on products), sex, doctors, prenatal courses, swimming pool, etc.

This is the "golden time" of pregnancy, when you live this period vividly together, are saturated with the novelty of life, and already your baby shows itself to be moving. In this trimester, a woman begins to move from the position of a child to a motherly position. She is already beginning to take concrete care of the baby: she communicates with him, looks for information related to the child, goes to courses, makes plans ...

During this period, you also begin to feel your paternity, because it becomes possible to communicate with the child through the stomach, and you can already form a first impression of him: what he is like, what he does not like, how he reacts to external events, how long it takes to calm down …

During this period, your role doubles: for your wife you become a caring partner in life, and for a baby - a parent. All you need to do is to be a support for your wife and make it clear that she is loved, despite any changes that occur to her body.

The third trimester

The third trimester can be characterized as follows: “nesting and sleeping…”

The essence of this trimester is to experience 2 events:

• to equip the “nest” and
• prepare for childbirth.

Inevitably and unexpectedly for you, the wife will begin to show the nest-making syndrome, which is characterized by her completely irresistible desire to prepare a place for the child: buying a crib, various kinds of accessories for the child, etc. Even if your wife basically does not buy anything before the birth of the baby, you cannot avoid shopping.

And then your role may be to take a manly approach to evaluating the things you buy. If a stroller, for example, evaluate it in terms of functionality, ease of delivery, installation in an apartment, heaviness for a wife, rigidity for a child, etc. Here is the time to reveal yourself as a man - the head of the family!

We often have much more in us than we think. And pregnancy not only reveals a woman, but also enriches a man, making him stronger and giving him new skills and knowledge about himself. By the end of pregnancy, your wife will more and more “go away” into an internal state, as if glowing from the inside. She is psychologically and physiologically preparing for childbirth. She is almost ready to become a mother and ready to take care of the baby.

Your role is the role of an equal partner in organizing and living this event, as well as becoming a real father for the baby with all the rights to love him and all the duties to him: in saving his life and providing him with favorable conditions for health, growth and development .

And again, when the pregnancy is almost over: support, ability to feel, confidence that you and your wife are both equal parents, and everyone contributes to the life of the family and the baby.

perinatal psychologist at the Center for Traditional Obstetrics

A pregnant wife: instructions for her husband

During pregnancy, new processes begin to occur in a woman's body, often incomprehensible to both spouses.

Emotions, appetite, dizziness, changes in bodily sensations... Of course, all this affects relationships in the family. Husbands experience extreme stress and often do not know what to do - as if their wife had been replaced.

Of course, much in a relationship during pregnancy depends on how desirable the unborn child is. And on how the couple knows how to express their love for each other.

Communication with a pregnant wife requires special understanding, patience, and knowledge of the situation. To facilitate communication, we offer the husband some tips to help him get through this difficult period without loss.

Try to understand what cannot be experienced by yourself

It is not physically possible for a man to feel what is happening to a woman. Talk to your wife about things that she feels are bothering her. This will allow you to understand it better. Yes, you do not feel the same, but you are actively involved, you are there. You are one hundred percent in the process. A man can simply sympathize and provide comfort. Knowing that a husband is worried about his wife is very important. This will give her strength and calmness.

Take on more household chores

Listen to your wife's wishes. Any. Household or even requests for small things. Take out the trash, hang up laundry after washing, take over the washing of dishes or finally install a dishwasher. Any help is important, this is a real manifestation of care and love. Even if you were brought up with the understanding that there are “male” and “female” jobs in the house, you will have to break the stereotype. Take into account that such times are already in the past, when women did not work, but took care of the house. In a modern society, where both men and women work equally, it is also customary to share responsibilities, and even more so in such a difficult period for a woman.

Take care of your wife and fulfill all her "whims"

It may seem to you that your wife has turned into a terrible shrew and asks for the impossible. This is not so, in the body of a woman during this period, hormones made a real mess, hence the strange behavior, habits, requests. Believe me, your wife does not mock you. And if she wanted peaches in the middle of the night in winter, then run headlong through all the supermarkets in search of what she wants. All the same, she will not let you fall asleep and will throw a tantrum. Because it is very important for her, no matter how strange her request may seem to you. It is likely that she herself will then be surprised by her behavior.

If she asks you not to wear cologne, hide it away. Does she no longer like your beard? Shave without regrets. If she does not want intimacy, then she will have to put up with it. Not always women experience pleasant sensations from sex during pregnancy. Do not rush her, be affectionate and gentle and she herself will seduce you if she wants to.

A woman's legs get very tired during pregnancy. Still, the weight is growing, the blood vessels of the legs are compressed under the weight of the fetus, and the ankles are also swollen. Give her a foot massage with lavender and peppermint oils before bed. This will relieve tension before going to bed and relax a woman. Your wife will be grateful to you. Offer to help with everything, even if you need to shampoo and blow dry your hair.

Trust your wife and don't give too much advice

Often men give advice to their wife that they once heard from their mother. When showing concern about the state of pregnancy, it is important for a husband to use any information in moderation. Even doctor's advice may not always be appropriate. Believe me, a woman feels better what exactly she needs at this particular moment - women's instincts are perfectly developed. And the information from your mother may no longer be relevant, even worse, it will irritate your wife. It is better to read the popular modern literature on this topic yourself and invite her to discuss the book together.

"Filter" the environment and external information

Try to protect your wife from negativity during this period. These can be people who are unpleasant to her (even from among relatives), violent films and programs, discussions of unsuccessful pregnancy and childbirth on Internet forums.

A woman is too receptive at this time and can think up a lot of unnecessary things, and people unpleasant to her will cause her stress. Better bring her more good videos about children, animals and happy love. Come up with reasons for her why she can't go to the birthday party of a cousin she can't stand
cannot.

A woman is now like a fragile vase, fill it only with soft toys and sweets and make sure that needles do not accidentally fall into it.

Maintain love, make efforts

After a certain period of time - usually from a year to three - the feeling of love sharply declines. Even the wife's pregnancy does not save. Therefore, a man's initiative is needed. Support love with your actions. It is important to understand that it depends on you whether the love fire will be maintained or whether it will die out.

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