How to request a teacher for your child sample
Writing a Good Teacher Request Letter (with Sample)
Use this sample teacher request letter as a template for your formal request letter.
Last updated on July 25th, 2022
Free Teacher Request Letter (Sample)
Schools often discourage parents from requesting a specific teacher for their child, but in certain cases the school administration will favorably respond to a teacher request letter.
There may be a better chance of success if the parent has already formed a good relationship with the child’s current teacher and listens to his or her advice.
Making the request in writing using a formal business letter style allows the parent to make a strong case. The letter should first state the child’s name, grade and the name of the school.
Reason Why Requesting a Certain Teacher
Next it should give the reason the parent is requesting a particular teacher and what advantages that teacher will give the child. The parent should name the teacher they are requesting as well as a possible second choice. They can thank the principal and ask for his or her opinion about what’s best for their child.
Some points parents need to consider before they write a teacher request letter are:
What is the teacher request policy at their school? Even schools within the same district can have different teacher request policies. The request letter will have a better chance of success if it is written in line with the school’s policies.
Why does the parent want to request a certain teacher? The reason should not be based on gossip or a popularity contest. There needs to be substantial, academic reasons for making a request.
Criticism of the child’s current or possible future teacher will not help the situation. Teachers work together and will not appreciate negative comments about a team member.
The letter should focus on the child’s difficulties and how he or she tried to overcome them. It should state that the parent would like to avoid some of those challenges in the next school year.
Parents should try their best to be objective about their child’s needs. If they are honest, there is a better chance they will be taken seriously.
If they gloss over their child’s personality to portray it in glowing terms, the school may know better, and think that the parents don’t have a realistic grasp of the situation.
Free Teacher Request Letter (Sample)
Free Teacher Request Letter (Sample)
Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
According to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), there is no rule that the parents of these children can select their teachers.
Parents have the right to be involved with the placement of their child, and after the school year begins, if the teacher is not implementing the child’s IEP, the parents have the right to request a meeting and discuss changing the teacher.
Here is a sample of a teacher request letter. If any copies of documents relating to the child’s schooling are included, they should be copies and not original documents. The parent should keep a copy of all communications with the school concerning this issue.
Sample Teacher Request Letter
Parent’s Name
Parent’s Address
City, State, Zip Code
DATE
Principal’s Name
School’s Name
School’s Address
City, State, Zip Code
Dear Principal’s Name,
I am the mother of Child’s Name, who will attend Name of School in the second grade for the next academic year. The experience he has in elementary school will most likely have a profound effect on his future academic life, and for this reason, I would like to request a specific teacher.
I have understood that this school will consider teacher requests from parents.
Child’s Name has been happy and interested in school during his first two years, and I would like him to continue this experience. His teachers have recognized his ability to learn better when his attention is engaged rather than by being asked to memorize material. Because of this, he is looking forward to the next school year.
I have discussed this issue with Child’s Name current teacher, Mrs. Name, and she agrees that his academic future will be better served by a teacher who understands how to introduce subjects to capture his interest. I would like to request that he be placed in Mrs. Name’s class or, if that is not possible then Mr. Name’s class.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. I would be happy to meet you or Mrs. Name to discuss the matter further. Please feel free to make suggestions or give advice about my concerns. I can be reached at 555-123-4567 or at [email protected]
Sincerely,
Signature of Parent
Printed Name of Parent
By Andre Bradley
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How to Write a Classroom Placement Letter or Teacher Request
Some schools allow parents to write a teacher or placement letter request.
In my humble opinion, if your school should allow this opportunity, then you SHOULD write one. Here are a few guidelines and sample classroom placement letter to get you started.
I believe that it may or may not help in making your next year teacher a better match with your child, but it is worth the chance. So, as the time is now for most schools, how should you write a placement request letter?
Disclosure: Amazon affiliate Links Used in this Article
Tips for Writing a Placement Letter Request
Grab your pens and paper, now’s the time to sit down and write a placement letter request. There really is no one right way. This is just the format that I use every year with my own children. Call your school first to find out if they accept placement letters, the date they need the letters by, and the specific guidelines for your school. Some principals allow preferred teachers to be named other do not.
Placement Letter Request Format:
1. Start by stating your child’s current grade level and teacher.
I always include a picture of my child somewhere in the letter as well.
2. Write about your child’s strengths – academic and social.
3. Write about your concerns for your child. This is place to include any special needs or personality traits that may need extra attention.
4. Write about the type of classroom or teacher traits that you feel your child would do best with.
5. Thank the team for considering your request.
Read the article: Getting the Teacher You Want
Sample Classroom Placement LetterRE: 2017-2018 Classroom Placement Dear “School” Team,
We are writing this letter on behalf of our daughter “name”. She is currently in “teacher” “grade level” class and excelling in all areas; social and academic. “Name” is a very bright and enthusiastic learner. She reads at a much higher decoding, vocabulary, and comprehension level than her current grade. In fact, she reads 1-2 chapter books and multiple picture books every evening and is able to discuss with higher order thinking, challenging concepts.
She reached over 100 AR points, made it to the 5th level in Ticket to Read, and has read almost the entire collection of chapter book series in the school library this year (and she is only 6 years old). In addition to reading, she enjoys science and has become a citizen scientist collecting data for a project called Monarch Health. Her one complaint about school is that she wants to learn more than the material presented. We are currently providing her with enrichment activities at home.
She is also a very thoughtful, kind hearted child. I have seen her give up her space for others, allow them to go first, and help solve disputes using kind words and effective problem solving. She responds well to compassionate adults with fair rules.
It is amazing to be parents of such an inquisitive, thoughtful child. When she was younger, we were worried she would have trouble learning as she has vision issues. After patching for several years, multiple eye muscle surgeries and therapy, she has improved her vision.
Glasses are essential for her and she is never without them. She also relies heavily on her other senses and benefits from consistent classroom routines.
We feel that she would do the best in a classroom that is not only organized, with consistent routines, but also has a teacher that is willing to challenge and enrich the grade level material. “Name” would also do well with a teacher that routinely uses multi-sensory lessons, rather than one who primarily leans towards providing visual cues and presentations.
Last, but not least, we feel that it is important for her to be placed in a classroom that supports and challenges her in a safe and loving way, for “name” to feel worthwhile and appreciated in her learning environment.
Thank you,
“Parents Names”
Need tips for writing a First Grade Classroom Request Letter?
As a Parent of a Grade School Child, you may also enjoy these resources:
- The Parent Backpack for Kindergarten through Grade 5: How to Support Your Child’s Education, End Homework Meltdowns, and Build Parent-Teacher Connections
- Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential
- Raising a Gifted Child
- Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- Different Learners: Identifying, Preventing, and Treating Your Child’s Learning Problems
- Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents
- The Learning Habit: A Groundbreaking Approach to Homework and Parenting that Helps Our Children Succeed in School and Life
- The Educated Child: A Parents Guide From Preschool Through Eighth Grade
How to ask questions and express requests to teachers
09/30/2021
Elena Shcherbinina
Journalist, English teacher
How to write a note to the teacher, express a request (including a delicate one), convince to help, ask a difficult question.
We learn to formulate orally and in writing requests to teachers and the class teacher.
Difficulties arise when we don't know how to ask a teacher for help or ask a question in a conversation, private message or on the phone. Or when you need to write a note to school about special circumstances. This happens if we do not want to offend the teacher, spoil the relationship with him or harm the child. We figure out how to correctly formulate our requests orally and in writing, on paper and using the phone.
How to ask a teacher for help?
We usually find it difficult to ask a teacher for something when we are not sure that he will meet us halfway. This happens when we want special treatment for the child, but we feel not entirely in the right.
How to ask a teacher to transfer a child?
If you want the teacher to move the child to the first desk or from the last desk closer, you must have motivation ready. It can be medical or personal.
If the request is justified by the fact that the child does not see or hear well, you must have a certificate with the recommendation of an ophthalmologist in your hands.
It can be taken at the district clinic - there are standards for seating in the class of children with special needs.
Act through the class teacher. Write an application addressed to his name with the following text: “Please organize the seating in the classroom so that my child, full name, sits on 1-2 desks, according to the recommendation of the ophthalmologist. I enclose a copy of the medical report with a recommendation for an educational institution. Date, signature” . A copy of the conclusion can not be certified if the school as a whole is adequate and friendly, a photocopy is enough. Such a request will not be refused, since the school is obliged to comply with the instructions of the doctors. If suddenly this happens or the class teacher will play for time, write a similar statement addressed to the director and submit it to the secretary in two copies. On your copy, he must put a mark that the document has been accepted, the date and signature.
If you are asking to transfer a child from a neighbor who interferes with his studies, or you want the teacher to transfer your daughter to a friend or son to a friend, this is a request, without reason, which the school is obliged to fulfill. Personal requests of this nature should not be formulated on paper. However, the rationale for the request still needs to be.
If the teacher communicates with parents in private messages, write to him. “MI, please move (child's name) to another desk in math class. The child experiences severe stress, worries about his grades, when he is not sure that he will learn the lesson material well.” The teacher will understand that you mean the neighbor who is distracting your child, but will appreciate your delicacy.
If you are refused, write to the class teacher. “MI, I have already contacted (name of teacher) with a request to transfer (name of child) to another desk in her lessons, but she did not answer me. I am very worried that my child is more and more often complaining of fatigue, worse learning of the material in the subject and experiencing stress before the lesson, judging by the messages that I receive from him on the phone.
” This is usually enough to get you help. Teachers respond to such signals that a child is not well, fearing more dire consequences.
What exactly not to do when you ask for a transplant:
- Blaming another child for bad behavior. In response, you may hear that yours is no better. The basis for the request is broken - the request is denied
- Say that your child is distracted in the last desk. Even if this is the case, your child needs more attention, and at the end of the class he was transplanted so as not to interfere with the teacher. You may be told to teach your child to behave and control himself.
- Blame the teacher for trying to get an uncomfortable child out of sight. So you will cause a desire to defend yourself, and not to help.
Justify the request to transplant the child with severe stress, anxiety symptoms, fear of bad grades. This is something for which you can potentially ask from school later: “Like, I warned you that this would happen, you didn’t pay attention, didn’t prevent it, didn’t react.
” It’s easier to meet you halfway than to refuse and get negative consequences.
How do I ask a teacher to correct a grade?
It's a different story when you're thinking about how to convince a teacher to fix a grade. You do not need to write a statement to such a request, the issue must be resolved personally and act depending on what the child received a low mark for.
If you need to correct an F for work not done, such as homework not done or a report your child didn't turn in on time, make the request soft. “ MI I know that (child's name) did not pass (work) on time and I understand that he deserved a deuce. I would not want him to lose motivation for the subject and stop studying. I ask you to give him an additional task in order to get a grade that will show him that you are good to him and support his desire to learn the subject.
You may not know what rules for closing grades from correction have been established in your school's electronic journal, for example.
In some systems, grades are frozen three days after they are awarded, or teachers are penalized when they correct grades. Therefore, it is better not to use the wording “correct the assessment”. Asking the teacher to close the deuce, for example, is much more adequate.
How to ask the teacher to rewrite the control?
Test grades in most public schools cannot be changed. In electronic journals, they are tracked, they have additional weight depending on the significance of the work. That is, some deuce is like three deuces for answers in a lesson when calculating grades for a quarter or trimester.
Therefore, it also makes sense to ask for additional work, practice, in order to get grades that will support the child's motivation and adjust the average score for the quarter and trimester.
In general, it is important for the school to show good progress of students, so there is no point in refusing you. Be calm and polite and you will be helped.
How to persuade a teacher not to put two?
Correcting an estimate is always more difficult when it has already been entered into the journal.
Many teachers announce grades and pause so the children can correct. But what if the teacher usually does not do this, and the child, even before they checked the independent or control work, realized that he had written a deuce? How to ask the teacher not to put 2?
In this case, it is worth teaching him how to solve problems in advance. It makes sense to approach the teacher immediately after the lesson and say: “MI, I was not ready for the test today and I know that I wrote it badly. I can write better if I have three days to prepare. I will pull up the material in any case, but I would like to ask you in advance about the opportunity to write the same work. The grade also worries me, but even more I want to prove that I have learned the topic. Is it possible to rewrite the control?”
Of course, there are principled teachers who will still put two, but it is much more difficult to refuse the opportunity to rewrite and close the deuce after such an entry.
How to ask for forgiveness from a teacher?
Sometimes a child needs to apologize to the teacher for what they have done.
For example, he ruined some thing in class, or teenagers behaved badly in class, and then regret it. It is important to understand here that it is possible to apologize to the teacher formally, if he requires it, or sincerely. Teenagers sometimes make mistakes on emotions, but in reality they do not want to offend adults and strive to restore relationships.
If, on the whole, a teenager is indifferent to a teacher, there is no human sympathy in their relationship, then an apology is such a ritual. The teacher demands them and morally puts pressure on the child. In this case, students are often reluctant to apologize precisely because they do not want to give in to pressure. Talk to your child about this situation like this: "Look, you don't feel guilty because you think the teacher offended you first. You think you were just protecting your interests. That's your right. The question is, are you ready to endure the consequences? or is it easier to apologize? Which is more in your best interest?" This is a difficult adult choice, and finding words so that a teenager can maintain his dignity and still resolve the conflict is a serious task in which he needs help.
If the teenager is sincerely sorry and admits his guilt, help him find the right words. For example, he and his friends disrupted a lesson from a good teacher simply because the guys got carried away, something of their own was important to them, and they did not feel how hard it was for the teacher. You need to explain that the teacher may be upset, but he will be glad that the children noticed his feelings and they care. No need to blame yourself and suffer, you just need to say: "Please forgive me for misbehaving in class. I got really carried away with the game and didn't notice that I was making noise and disturbing you and others. I only realized what happened when you kicked me out of class. I'll try to take care of myself ".
How can I arrange private lessons with a teacher?
Sometimes you need not to ask, but to agree on what is in the interests of the teacher, and not just you. Most often, parents are embarrassed when they want to ask a teacher for tutoring for money.
But it can be difficult to ask for additional classes with a child who does not understand the topic or is ill.
How to arrange tutoring with a teacher?
Some teachers can be asked to be tutors for their own students, and they agree. However, many refuse, because they are afraid that in this way you want to buy an assessment. Therefore, the teacher is afraid that you will then begin to demand a mark, since you paid the money. However, some teachers are not averse to earning extra money if they understand that they can not improve the knowledge of the child, and they will not get anything for it. For example, a subject at the OGE or the Unified State Examination is optional, you can get sick of the mandatory diagnostics, in general, you won’t be asked for the result.
You can ask a teacher for tutoring in the following way. “MI, we have decided to hire (child's name) a tutor for your subject. We would like you to conduct individual lessons so that the child is not pulled according to different requirements and methods.
”
If the teacher refuses, ask them to recommend someone. Teachers have a practice of swapping students with colleagues. It seems that they are not required to increase the rating, but still the recommendation imposes some responsibility. This is not the worst option.
If the teacher refused, it's okay. You can take online courses or find a great tutor.
How can I ask for free private lessons?
When a student gets sick a lot, misses or does not understand an important topic, he may need help to keep his motivation to study. Many teachers themselves are the first to offer to stay after class to catch up on the material. Most schools have extra classes or consulting hours that teachers are paid to work with underachievers. Ask the teacher about this, and at the same time you will understand whether he is ready to work with the child in his free time from compulsory lessons.
You can start a conversation like this. “MI, please tell us if we have consultations in your school on your subject? (child's name) did not understand the topic.
I'm afraid he will start his studies if he is not helped now. He is already worried that he will get a lot of deuces, but is embarrassed to ask for help. Do we have such classes at school?” If the teacher is willing to help, he will tell you when he or a colleague has classes. If not, then you have a choice. Find a tutor or courses or put the squeeze on a school.
You can press it, not rudely, but confidently through a request to the principal of the school. It needs to express the idea that the teacher refused to help a child who is not coping with learning and is experiencing stress. Approximate statement text: “Dear AI. My son (child's name) missed school (dates) due to illness. At this time, in the lesson (subject), the class was going through the topic (name). The child could not master it on his own during his illness and was severely traumatized by the fear of an unsatisfactory grade. We turned to the teacher FIO with a request to talk about how the school helps children who have not mastered the material for objective reasons, but she could not help us.
Please let us know what extra classes are available at our school for children who have difficulty completing the program due to absenteeism due to illness. Attached is a copy of the medical certificate.
This is the correct way to complain about a teacher and ask for help to be arranged for your child.
How can I get information from the teacher?
It would seem, what is it, to ask a question, to get information. But we are often embarrassed even by simple situations when it comes to relationships with teachers at school.
How can I get the results of tests or diagnostics from the teacher?
What type of test paper are you interested in?
School tests are divided into internal and external. Internal - this is what the teacher himself gives according to the program, he himself evaluates. That is, ordinary tests, independent, control. They are graded in an electronic journal with special notes.
In any case, parents have the right to be informed about the results, but there are some important things to keep in mind.
External diagnostics - this is when work and inspectors are sent to the school. Or they put the children in a computer lab and work online under the supervision of an inspector who does not work at the school. They check the work not at school, they send grades.
Also last year, for example, there were external diagnostics instead of the OGE of choice. There were no reviewers, but the teacher's results were to be checked and sent to the Department of Education. VPR is carried out according to the same scheme: finished papers are sent to the school, then the keys and verification criteria, the school checks and sends the result.
The school is not obliged to put grades for external work in the electronic journal. Because it's diagnostic work. Their goal is to check the level of knowledge in the city, to give the school statistics on what needs to be worked on with the class and a particular student.
At the same time, for each external work there is a recommended scale for the correspondence of points to the school assessment. They were promised to be pulled up from the database of inspection organizations, but they never do this. Therefore, the school puts these grades in the journal at its own discretion and in what way. Who assigns them a multiplier, who does not.
It makes sense for parents to get acquainted with the results of these works in order to understand when a child needs help to fill knowledge gaps. And parents have the right to receive this information about their child.
How do I request results?
Contact your class teacher with an informal request to get started. “MI would like to ask you to send me the results of my child’s CCTC, which passed on (date).” If you are refused, remind the class teacher that you are legally a participant in the educational process and have the right to full information about the results of your child.
Just keep in mind that external diagnostics can be checked for a long time - up to 40 days, and for external diagnostics with a school check, they usually give a week to send the results and scans of work, and then they confirm it for a long time - it can take a couple of weeks before the protocols are formed. Therefore, do not suspect the school of malicious intent if they tell you that there are no results a couple of weeks after the diagnosis. But in a month and a half they should be exactly.
How can I find out the teacher's birthday?
Sometimes we are embarrassed to even ask about good things. For example, the dates of birth of the students in the class. Do not worry and calmly write to the teacher that you would like to congratulate the children from the parent committee. If a teacher is afraid to reveal personal data, he can be understood - the situation and instructions are extremely confusing. Then it's easier to make a poll in the parent chat.
If you want to know when the teacher's birthday is and the class teacher can't help you, get the teenagers involved.
There are, of course, teachers who hide from social networks, but this is a rare case. If teenagers can't do it on their own, have them ask high school students for help or organize a data mining project. Or getting them from the teacher in a tricky way. Give them a challenge to come up with a game that the teacher can't help but confess.
How do I tell my teacher about my absence?
Sometimes we need to write a note to the class teacher about the absence of the child in advance or ask him to leave the last lessons. In this case, the document is not called a “note”, but a statement. And its purpose is to confirm that you have removed responsibility for the life and health of the child, as well as the assimilation of the program, from the school. Therefore, this is how it should be written, only in the name of the director, and not the teacher. “My child (name), student (letter number) of the class will be absent from school (date and time or just the date if the whole day) for family reasons.
I take responsibility for the life and health of the child, as well as the development of the program for missed lessons.”
Regardless of the true reason for the absence, write about family circumstances - you are not required to pour out your soul or confess in front of the school.
How to write a text message to the teacher that the child will not come?
If your child needs to skip school all of a sudden, but you didn't have time to submit the application in advance, write to the class teacher via SMS or a private message in the chat that the child will not come. Sample text: “MI, (child's name) will not come to school today due to family reasons, there are no health problems. I will hand over the statement backdating with him tomorrow. Thanks."
How to write a message or sms to the teacher that the child is ill?
If the child is ill and there is a certificate, then it is necessary to report it that way. Now, due to covid, it still doesn’t hurt to delicately clarify whether the child will be tested, whether he had contact with a patient with coronavirus.
If the child does not come because he is ill, but you will not go to the doctor, write about family circumstances, as we said above. Usually schools ask not to take more than five days for family, but there are no rules such as not letting those who missed more due to family reasons to school. Therefore, you can safely write to the teacher that, for family reasons, the child will miss a week. But keep in mind that the child will most likely communicate with classmates and the information will reach the teacher, so you don’t need to come up with stories about the reasons why they don’t let him go to school.
If your child is clearly ill and you will see a doctor, let the class teacher know. Also let me know if you plan to get tested for covid. For example: “MI, (child's name) fell ill with a fever. They called a doctor. We had no known contacts with the coronavirus, but if they ask for an analysis, we will pass it” . This is enough information for the school about what is happening.
How to write a note to a physical education teacher?
A child may miss a physical education lesson for various reasons. If he feels bad, if he has a release. There are also special circumstances for girls that embarrass parents and schoolgirls themselves, and do not understand how to explain to the teacher why the student cannot study.
If a child has an exemption from physical education after an illness, it is the task of the class teacher to whom you submitted the certificate to report this. When this process is not established at school, it makes sense to make a photocopy or a photo on the phone from the certificate and write a message to the teacher directly. “MI, (child's name) was released from physical education after illness until (date)” . If this is the first or last school year and you want the child to be out of school, add: “I will send the application for family reasons with him so that he can leave school.” Pass the statement we talked about above about responsibility, etc.
If the child is ill or the girl needs to miss a lesson, there is no need to go into details. Write a note about general feeling unwell. “MI, I ask you to release my child (name, class, date) from physical education classes due to poor health in order to prevent accidents in the lesson. If you need further clarification, please call me (phone number).” This is a weighty enough wording so that the teacher does not challenge it and ask the child unpleasant questions.
How to get your child out of class
Many teachers require compulsory class attendance. The requirements of the class teacher are clear: they often do not know how to otherwise convey relevant information in other formats. Plus, sometimes there is a need to discuss topical issues in person. The problem is that the class hour is usually set after classes, and the child may have extra classes or other things to do.
The child is not required to attend class - it is not included in the teaching load at all, so the child can formally get up and leave without a note from the parents.
It is advisable to inform the class teacher about this in a message, just to make it easier for the child to leave the classroom.
Another thing is that, in fact, a class hour is often spent at the expense of the hour that is allocated for project activities in the curriculum - in this case, the child really needs to be asked to leave. And you need to do this all in the same format as from other lessons. In general, you can write a standard note without understanding whether this hour is in the curriculum or not.
How to write to a teacher in the e-journal
In the e-journal it is possible to write messages to teachers, and they can write to parents. In fact, this function must be used in two cases on your part:
- If you have a conflict with the teacher, and you gradually begin to defend your rights. In this case, elzhur will keep the fact that you made a request or a warning.
- If the teacher does not communicate with parents otherwise and asks him to conduct all communication through the electronic journal.
The electronic journal is transparent to the school administration and higher authorities and is used to control and punish teachers quite often. That is why, if you and the teacher did not agree to communicate there, he may not be happy with the message in eljur instead of the same whatsapp.
Messages in the e-journal show the addressee, so you do not need to introduce yourself if you are logging in with your account. The rules for writing messages are the same: say hello, state the problem, ask a question.
Be aware that in a situation of conflict, all of your messages can be used in the same way that you can use a teacher's messages to prove that he is wrong.
How to warn the teacher that you will not be at the parents' meeting
Parents are not required to attend the meeting, but it is important for the class teacher to know who will come. It's a sign of respect to respond to an invitation to a parent-teacher meeting.
If the teacher makes a poll in the chat - participate, that's enough.
If not, write in a private message: "Unfortunately, I am unable to attend the meeting on (date)." It's good when the teacher prepares for the meeting and then sends useful information to everyone. Many schools are now recording parent-teacher conferences and broadcasting them live and sending the link by mail. In this case, add that you will definitely read the record and read the materials. And do it whenever possible.
It is impossible to cover all situations in which parents do not understand how to address the teacher correctly. Remember the general rules: be confident, give a reason that is difficult to argue with, mention the consequences that the school wants to avoid. And then you will meet halfway in most situations.
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Working at school is not easy: children often need to be brought to their senses, they call names and fight, do not always do their homework on time and go out during recess.
But I treat all these situations with excitement. This is my job: not only to teach a child to write and count, but also to explain how to interact with other people, work in a team, be responsible and correct mistakes. The more difficult the task the child sets for himself and for me, the more interesting it is to solve it and the more satisfaction when you manage to cope with it.
Unfortunately, in addition to children at work, you also have to communicate closely with parents. This is a completely different matter: adults sometimes behave much more absurdly than children, and at the same time they are far from always ready for a constructive dialogue.
I will tell you about situations that occur most often. That's what parents usually piss me off about.
Demanding too much
An ideal parent from a teacher’s point of view is one who is attentive to the successes and failures of the child, but at the same time observes boundaries in communication with teachers: speaks kindly, carefully studies all available information and does not ask questions, on which we have already answered. At parent-teacher meetings and personal meetings, such parents do not oppose themselves to teachers, but, on the contrary, consider us a big team that is trying to make the educational process as effective as possible. Therefore, first of all, they ask how they can supplement the work of teachers at home and if they need any other help.
It is pleasant to communicate with such people: even if they encounter a problem or are dissatisfied with something, they are always ready to take the time to discuss the situation in detail and find a way out that will suit everyone.
It happens that for the sake of a conversation you need to stay at work, but this does not infuriate - but I will definitely be aware of the state of the child and I will be able to find the best way to interact with him.
But there is another type of parent - I call them anxious. Such parents demand a lot from everyone around them - both from teachers and from their own children. In part, I can understand them: most often they are parents who invest a lot in children and, of course, worry about the result. But still, everything has its limits.
I'll tell you with examples. Anxious parents fuss over every zilch: they control every homework, monitor the movements of the child every minute and demand a full report on the foods eaten at lunch - right down to whether the schoolchild ate white or black bread.
This harms both our work and the children. The teacher is constantly harassed with trifling questions and demands: for example, I was asked to find a sock that the child lost two weeks ago in an unknown place, to make sure that the student eats vegetables, but not carrots, and even to answer the question of how fast he does his homework.
It is simply impossible to be aware of all this: I have to work not with one child, but with the whole class, I am responsible for the condition of all students, I resolve many conflicts and regulate the mood in the team - I simply don’t care about carrots.
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I've been on the parent committee for 9 years, and that's what pisses me off
The children of these parents are also constantly under pressure. At school, we are working on developing independence and responsibility, teaching children to take initiative and cope with everyday tasks without the help of adults: clean up after themselves, prepare for lessons and keep track of the schedule. But constant control kills all student success.
The behavior of children in the classroom also suffers. If parents, even in small things, force the child to do what seems right to them, for example, to choose a circle in mathematics instead of dancing, sooner or later the student begins to rebel, conflict and refuse to do at least something, not only at home, but also at school.
The teacher has to clean it all up, while the parents wash their hands and do not want to correct their behavior in any way: you are the teacher, you work.
What to do. Each school worker has not only a list of official duties, but also things that he does on his own initiative simply because it is necessary. Find out at the beginning of the school year what the teacher takes responsibility for outside of the classroom: this is normal and will allow you to understand what you can ask him and in what situations to seek advice, and what is better to keep with you and what not to tease the teacher.
Trust teachers and your children, it makes the job much easier. In the end, if the child is already old enough to go to school, then he is quite able to take care of himself minimally - for example, look for his things on his own or follow the diet.
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Parents' rights at school
The more restrictions there are at home, the more temptations a child has to go rogue at school. Of course, the teacher will try to correct the student's behavior, but it is much more effective if parents and at home begin to behave differently with the child.
Do not doubt the words of the child
When a child is in a situation of conflict, not all parents can control their feelings and soberly assess what happened. Many do not understand that the words of a child are always his interpretation of what happened, and immediately rush to save their little blood with checkers: sort things out with other parents, scold teachers and threaten complaints to all instances.
Children, who see all this, memorize the words of their parents and bring them to school - this is how the conflict turns to a new round. It becomes more and more difficult to resolve it: you need to bring parents to their senses, get to the bottom of the position of children in order to restore how everything really happened, explain to adults what happened after all and why the initial situation was not worth a damn.
All this takes hours and sometimes days - the time that I could spend on an interesting project with children is wasted.
What to do. Even if it seems to you that the child is one hundred percent right and he was unfairly offended, do not rush to seek justice. First, exhale and let your anger settle down, and then calmly find out from the teacher what happened. The teacher sees the situation from the side of both one and the other child, and just from the side - perhaps because of strong emotions, the child did not notice any nuances that radically change things.
Regardless of who is to blame for the conflict, ask the teacher what steps he is taking to resolve the situation and how a parent can help him in this: for example, in what way it is worth talking to the child about what happened.
And do not forget that children forget bad things faster than adults - the next day after a quarrel, they can already play and communicate together if their parents do not escalate the situation.
Asking for an exception
Schools have a lot of rules. Some of them seem inconvenient to parents, but without them it will be very difficult to organize the educational process.
For example, during the pandemic, many schools switched to combined education: some students study in class, and some study online if they are sick or, for other good reasons, cannot be present in class. Working in this mode is not easy for both the teacher and the students: the lessons require more thorough preparation than usual, and during the lesson the teacher’s attention is torn between the classroom and the screen.
We immediately warned parents about clear rules: children are connected only to the main general education classes - Russian, literature, mathematics and the world around them - and only if the child is forced to miss classes, due to circumstances that the family cannot influence in any way.
But no, parents are constantly trying to beg for special conditions for their child and are offended if we refuse to arrange combined drawing lessons or connect a child whose parents decided to leave for the country on a school day. This is infuriating.
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What parents of first-graders can demand from the school
Similar situations occur when the class goes on field trips. The organization of such trips is always a great responsibility and hassle: on the one hand, we are responsible for the life and health of students before their parents, on the other hand, before the law.
The school must notify the traffic police in advance about the trip in all details: the number of children, the route and all planned stops. Violation of the trip plan can result in a fine of up to 100,000 R, so deviations from the route are excluded: we pick up children from school, bring them to the museum, and then return them to school again.
The composition of children during the trip should also not change: teachers are responsible for the life and health of students, including during excursions.
But many parents do not understand the seriousness of the situation and often ask for a short stop along the way near the child's home. No arguments work - in response, they promise to take all the risks on themselves, not realizing that in any unpleasant situation, these promises will not protect the school and teachers from litigation and large fines.
Parents are often offended that teachers do not want to meet halfway and insist on unnecessary bureaucracy. But the fact is that official documents will protect the teacher if something happens to the child during class hours, but the verbal request of the mother will not. Source: babyblog.ru What to do. Follow the rules that are accepted in the school: this helps teachers to do their job effectively even in non-standard and difficult situations.
Do not demand special conditions for the child: if the teacher allows one student to break the rules as an exception, others will also want to do this, and the whole system will stop working.
Remember that many inconvenient rules help keep children safe in and out of school. Do not show your child an example of a disregard for the requirements of teachers - children are far from always able to adequately assess the risks, therefore it is adults who are responsible for them at school.
Personal time is not respected
Sometimes it seems to me that parents do not even suspect that teachers also have days off, personal matters and free time.
Often, parents do write on business: for example, they warn that the child will not come to school, or ask to send the schedule. But for some reason, they completely disregard my work schedule and demand an immediate response even in the middle of the night. I'm not kidding: I received the most memorable message at half past one in the morning - the parents wrote that they would not have time to deliver an important statement for the child by the first lesson and would bring it after class.
If it takes me a minute to answer a question, that's fine, but sometimes parents want me to spend an entire evening after work on a detailed report on their child's progress or problems. It infuriates: firstly, there are special days for such conversations, and secondly, I can have my own plans for personal time, which include a beer in a bar with friends, and not a hard conversation for which I was not ready .
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4 problems in kindergartens and schools that parents can deal with
Once I had to take a day off for serious family reasons: I helped my wife in the hospital. In order not to be disturbed these days, I warned everyone in advance - the administration, colleagues, parents. But just in case, I decided to stay in touch: sometimes there are really urgent situations in schools.
As a result, my phone rang endlessly, and when I called back after seven missed calls from one number, I wanted to kill: it turned out that someone's parents simply could not find a thermal mug in the class.
What to do. If you are going to contact the teacher after hours, think about whether the issue really requires such urgency - perhaps the conversation will endure at least until the morning. If you need a long conversation with a teacher, arrange a convenient meeting time in advance: teachers often agree to stay at school to resolve a difficult situation, but they also want to freely manage their time.
Sometimes it's easier to solve some issues not through the teacher at all. For example, it is faster to learn homework from other parents or from the child's classmates.
They think that the teacher only deals with lessons
Working in the classroom is the tip of the iceberg among the things a teacher does. In addition, we make sure that the children had lunch, took a walk and got to circles on time, check their homework, prepare lesson plans for the next day, and in parallel we organize large school-wide events - holidays, olympiads and competitions.
But that's not all. One of the important tasks that requires attention and separate time is the education of a capable team in the class. I try to teach children to respect each other, negotiate among themselves even during conflicts, ask questions on the merits, reflect on problems and reflect. In the busy schedule of school life, you have to dodge in order to find time for all this: after all, even such useful extracurricular activity should not be at the expense of education.
Parents see the results of my work — they notice that their children have become more responsible, independent and collected. But they don’t associate them with the efforts that I spend, and they are surprised if I don’t pick up the phone during recess, I’m not ready to set aside an hour for a conversation when they arrived at school unannounced, or I don’t answer a message within 5-10 minutes.
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How Much Teachers Really Earn
Due to busy schedules, sometimes teachers make mistakes.
For example, one day I decided to conduct a rallying game project in the class, which meant provoking conflicts between children. To reassure my parents, I held a meeting with them, but due to the frantic pace of school life, endless notebooks and filling in many tables, I prepared poorly for it and said the word "experiment". This caused a shock to my parents, and I had to fight off accusations for a long time that I was conducting experiments on children.
What to do. Do not forget that the teacher is a living person. If it seems to you that he is wrong, made a mistake, or did not work properly, you should not immediately conclude that he is not a professional, complain to the administration and demand dismissal: most likely, a personal conversation with a discussion of the problem will suffice.
