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How to protect child from spirit


Protecting Our Kids from Spiritual Forces of Evil

CBN.com - Proverbs 8:13 says, “Let those who love the Lord hate evil.” Those of us who love the Lord and love our children, not only hate evil, we do all we can to protect our kids from evil. The Bible makes it clear that this includes protecting them from spiritual forces of wickedness in the invisible heavenly realms. We are charged with helping our children learn to guard their hearts and minds from the deceptive and destructive forces of evil that often masquerade as harmless, or even good. As Christians, we have to do all we can in the power of the Holy Spirit to make sure the enemy of our souls does not gain any ground.

I understand why many in the Christian community, especially Christian parents, are deeply concerned and opposed to a series of books that present witchcraft, wizardry, and divination in a positive light. I know that God hates divination; and I hate divination. I would never allow my kids to be involved in it’s practice, even under the guise of “just playing around. ” I understand how scary it can be to think about the overwhelming impact the Harry Potter books are having on popular culture, aimed at -- and winning -- the hearts, minds, and allegiance of millions of children while seemingly making light of occult practices. As a parent, Bible teacher, and volunteer youth leader, I had to know what the appeal of these books means and decide how to protect my kids from any influence of evil. These concerns led me to prayerfully read the first book in the series.

I have given this whole issue considerable prayer and thought, sought godly counsel, read widely on both sides of the debate, and sought God for wisdom. I came to a conclusion I did not expect. Even though I understand why some Christians choose to forbid and guard against these stories -- and I do believe this is the right decision for some -- after reading the first book, I chose to read them aloud with our family. We used them to educate and warn our children against the real occult influences in our world today, and to train them in discernment of good and evil. We have even found a way to use these popular stories as a connecting point through which we have been able to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ (read this testimony in Redeeming Harry Potter).

While this is not the right decision for all Christian families, I would encourage believers to consider a biblically viable alternative to simply forbidding these stories. The only way I can do this is because I do not equate reading a story about fictional “magic” with dabbling in the practice of anything the Lord has forbidden in Deuteronomy 18 or anywhere else in the Bible.

Here's how you do it:

1. Instead of running from their popular culture or leaving them to interpret it on their own, study it and engage it WITH THEM. Read the books to them; never just let them read questionable material on their own. Judge for yourself, don't rely on someone else when God gave you responsibility for your children's spiritual upbringing. When you engage the culture with them, you can use it to teach them to identify practices, choices, and characteristics as good or as evil and potentially dangerous.

2. Give them the absolute measuring line of God's Word, the Bible. Teach them to use it whenever they are trying to figure out if something is permissible for them. For example: Go over Deuteronomy 18:9-14 and teach them that it is always wrong to practice or engage in any of the things listed there; they are never to look to any supernatural power other than God to tell them the future or give them guidance for their lives. They are not to look to the stars for their future but to the One who made the stars, and everything else.

The key Bible reference that forbids involvement with the occult is found in Deuteronomy 18:9-14. Here, Moses is speaking to the people of Israel to prepare them to enter the promised land. He said,

"When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God." ... "The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination. But as for you, the LORD your God has not permitted you to do so."

3. Prepare your kids to go into their culture without disobeying God. Deuteronomy 18 clearly forbids God's people from "learning to imitate," practicing, engaging in, or listening to those who practice sorcery or divination. However, we must remember these dictates were given because they were getting ready to go into a pagan culture. They were to be "in the world", but not live like the pagan world lived. There is a significant difference between listening to occultic practitioners and hearing about them. To listen to those who practice sorcery would be like reading your horoscope or calling a psychic hotline to hear what they have to say to you. That is forbidden; but it's different from hearing about such practices. Make this distinction clear.

Once they understand this, let them test their discernment skills as you encounter the occult in the culture. When the witch shows Dorothy her Auntie Em in the crystal ball in Wizard of Oz, ask things like: Do you think it is okay to use a crystal ball like that? Why not? Beyond just disobeying God, what are the dangers of trusting in what might be seen? How could that be used to trick or manipulate someone?

4. Help your kids use fictional situations and characters as a safe simulated environment in which to define what the real dangers of the occult are and to sort out the good from the evil.

That reminds me, real psychics do a lot of damage, too.

5. Use fictional situations and stories whenever you can as object lessons at the expense of the fictional character rather than your child in real life. In such a story, when a character has to make a moral decision you can use that to help your children think through what would be the right choice. If the character makes a wrong choice and suffers consequences, or makes a right choice and is rewarded, you can use that as a virtual learning experience. The benefit is that your child is spared the real danger while you guide them through the stories, helping them measure the character's decisions by the measuring stick of God's Word. Such practice reinforces their biblical understanding while building moral strength.

6. Establish that there are real spiritual forces of evil that can be dangerous. God says so!

7. When you present the battle between good and evil to your children, make it personal. Present a compelling picture of a powerful God who loves them and wants what is best for them. Present "the evil one" (Satan, the devil) as and evil being -- murderous, deceitful, and tricky -- who was kicked out of heaven for his rebellion against God. Now he is out to destroy those made in the image of God, while God sent Jesus to defeat the works of the devil. Jesus came to give people life in the fullest measure of all that is good. The devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

8. Use stories! Facts tell; stories sell. Facts only touch the mind. Stories also touch the heart, imagination, soul, and spirit. Using stories and parables was one of Jesus' favorite way of communicating God's truth to hungry hearts.

Tell them Bible stories where there is a show-down between the forces of God and the forces of evil -- Elijah vs. The prophets of Baal, Jesus' temptation by Satan, Moses and Aaron vs. Pharaoh's magicians, Daniel vs. all the best sorcerers and magicians of Babylon. Kids will always want to be on the winning side in a battle between good and evil.

Don't just use Bible stories, find stories they love -- like Harry Potter or Little Mermaid -- and relate the battle between good and evil in the story to the true battle between good and evil in our world in a Christian context. For example, in Little Mermaid the evil one is like Ursula who tries to trick and destroy Ariel to get back at her father, King Triton. King Triton could be likened to God -- a loving father who gives all to protect and redeem the child he loves from the clutches of the evil one. In Harry Potter, you can relate the evil one, Satan, to the murderous Voldemort who is out to kill Harry using deception and cunning schemes. They will figure out for themselves that they don't want to do anything that would leave them vulnerable to that kind of evil character.

9. Explain the difference between "magic" used as a literary devise in a fantasy or fictional story and spiritual realities that may seem just as fantastic. You need to clearly communicate that the miracles of the Bible may seem like fiction, but really happened by the supernatural power of God; the fictional magic is just pretend. You might say something like, "Authors sometimes use magical powers in a story to make it more exciting and do things beyond what we can do in real life. A fantasy or fictional story is not real. If we read a story that does use magic as a literary device, that doesn't mean the author endorses using magic in real life. When we read such a story, we are pretending. Reading a story where we hear about something occult does not mean that we would ever participate in anything occult. In real life, whenever anyone looks for supernatural power or knowledge apart from God it is wrong. Kids understand the difference.

10. Make it clear that a fantasy story may use "magic" as a literary device framing the battle between good and evil within a story where there is "good magic" and "bad magic" but in the real world God forbids all use of occultic magic. In real life there is no such thing as good witchcraft, white magic, or acceptable sorcery. We may accept "Glenda the Good Witch" vs. "The Wicked Witch of the West" in The Wizard of Oz, or Lucy reciting an incantation from a book of spells in C.S. Lewis' Narnian story The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but in real life we are never to emulate or believe in "good magic" or "good witchcraft".

What do you think about the Harry Potter books? How should Christian parents approach these and other things in our culture that can have an effect on our children? Where does a Christian draw the line between fantasy and the occult in the things their children are exposed to in the media?

See also:

Potter Fodder -- Click here to find out what our readers have to say about the Harry Potter controversy.

Part I: Harry Potter: What's A Concerned Parent To Do?

Copyright 2000 Connie Neal. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

Connie Neal is an inspirational speaker and author. She has written numerous books and magazine articles. If you would like to read other books by Connie Neal --including "Dancing in the Arms of God", the "Kids' devotion Bible," and more, go to Shop CBN for more information.

Purchase What's a Christian to Do with Harry Potter?

How do we protect our kids, spiritually?

How do we protect our kids, spiritually?

Your kids have imaginary enemies, real enemies and a real enemy that most people think is imaginary.  I loved this picture of a Tyrannosaurus Rex charging onto a soccer field in Carson, California.  I thought the dinosaur had been photo-shopped into the picture and was completely fake, but if you look closely you can see it is a man wearing a costume.  So, was the dinosaur real or imaginary?  The answer: both.   Is Satan real or imaginary?  Same answer: both.  How do we protect our kids, spiritually?  We teach them when and where to run, and when and how to stand their ground.  They have an enemy, but they might not recognize the real threats from the imaginary.

The first spiritual battle is for the mind.  Your children will learn their values in many different places, none so powerful as their home.  My favorite beatitude is Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”  Jesus taught his disciples to come to him as children, pure in heart.  We have all been embarrassed by a three-year old who said something that was completely true, much to our chagrin!  Children are pure in heart and childhood is a great time for them to see God.  I am a HUGE believer in spending as much time with your children as possible.  When you have to be gone, choose your child’s caregiver thoughtfully.  When you select the social groups, teams and activities they will participate in, make those choices because of the spiritual influence rather than the social.   Will that person or place teach your child godly values or something less?  Protect your child’s mind, keeping it pure, so he or she can see God.  Why is this so important?  Your children’s values will drive their choices as they grow up and away.  Pray they will grow to think like Romans 12:2 teaches, not conformed to the pattern of of this world, but transformed by the renewing of their minds.  Then they will be “able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.”   How do you protect your children’s minds?  Teach them to avoid Satan by running to God.  Tryon Edwards said, “The devil has one good quality, that he will flee if we resist him.  Though cowardly, it is safety for us.” 

It is important to teach our kids what to value, but that isn’t enough.  Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard professor, wrote a great article on the subject, “Why Teaching Values is not Enough.”  He said: “We need to help children not only know values but develop a deep commitment to values. ”  Parents today have a much trickier battle on this front.  When I was growing up most people agreed with Christian values, even if they didn’t choose to live with them.  Hollywood is influencing politics and politics are influencing legislation, and many churches are compromising biblical truth in order to look more relevant or popular.  Are you a stronger influence on your children’s spiritual lives than television, popular opinion or even their teachers and leaders at school and church?  Even if you feel like you are sending them to all the right places, keep this wise thought in mind:  Martin Luther said, “For where God built a church, there the devil would also build a chapel.  Thus is the devil ever God’s ape.”  Children should be committed to biblical values, not just aware of them.  That commitment will help them discern truth and enable them to stand their ground, even against the tide of public opinion and popularity.

Satan likes to convince people that he isn’t real – just “photo-shopped” into the picture.   If a person looks closely, Satan would suggest that the dinosaur is only a costume, no real threat.  The truth of the photo is this – we don’t know what the guy under the costume is going to do, he is hidden – not yet uncovered and free to run where he wants.  That is true of Satan, until one day Jesus returns. 

Ronald Knox said, “It is stupid of modern civilization to have given up belief in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.”  Satan is real and so is his influence – but the truth is, your influence can be much stronger.  Keep teaching and keep watch.  Satan is masquerading around your children, and he will make a run at them.  Is the Tyrannosaurus Rex a danger to your kids?  Not if they know to get out of his way.

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How to Raise a Strong Child - Child Development

Why do some people have an almost unbreakable inner strength that helps them overcome the most difficult circumstances, while others cannot withstand the severity of much less difficult problems? Is it possible to educate such inner strength in children - the strength of the spirit? Can we try to make sure that our children face any challenges that life throws at them like real champions and only get stronger? Experts believe that small everyday experiences shape us and develop in us this necessary core of inner strength. nine0003

Inner strength in the face of everyday problems

Imagine your eight-year-old daughter is facing a common school problem that everyone has to solve sooner or later. One day at school, a child has a small quarrel with a girlfriend. Moreover, the girlfriend, apparently, was much more upset because of the incident. The next day, she gathered a company of girls and persuaded them to unite against your daughter and offend her. nine0003

The first reaction of a child who is taken by surprise in this way should have been either to cry and run away from the conflict, or to respond to a group of children with the same resentment and anger. This is a typical “fight, flight or freeze” reaction of a person who is betrayed or tried to be an outcast.

However, instead of reacting immediately, the child pauses. Then the girl stands up to her tiny height and calmly defends her position. She looks into her friend's eyes and apologizes for inadvertently hurting her. And then, just as calmly, she tells other children that they simply have no reason to conflict with her. (Any parent should be proud of their child's answer. It means that your conversations with your daughter about "inner strength" were not in vain.)

The girl's reaction was not typical for a child. Her friends didn't expect this. They thought she would be frightened, angry or upset. The whole situation, surprisingly, quickly resolved. After a few minutes, the children put their grudges out of their heads and started playing together again. And your child came home with a happy smile on his face, as if he had won the battle!

Such a situation may seem trivial to us adults, but it is a very important experience in a child's life: on the foundation of such a "victory" he builds his future victories, his concept of how to get out of conflict situations next time. nine0003

How our children learn to deal with minor or major challenges early in their lives sets the foundation for how they will succeed and deal with life's challenges in the future.

It is important that parents pay attention to what lessons children learn at an early age - their views and ideas about themselves and the world, their ability to understand and manage their own thoughts, feelings and actions, as well as their ability to be sensitive and receptive in relation to other people. All this helps to enrich their fortitude and prepare them for any future challenges. nine0003

A beautiful Buddhist proverb says: "It is the treasures of the heart - such inner qualities as spiritual strength, character and humanity - that ensure the true happiness of a child."

So, what is this inner strength, the strength of the spirit?

Being strong inside essentially means having a reserve of resources - knowledge, skills and attitudes that help to withstand any possible difficulties in life. This means that the person is not too worried about change and not too anxious about problems. Does not get frustrated and does not give up in difficult times. He believes in himself and bounces back from setbacks. Makes decisions and solves problems constructively. nine0003

Experts believe that resilience and courage can be cultivated in children only together with optimism, focusing on strengthening and developing readiness for change.

Here are some scenarios of the child's possible behavior:

  • Scenario A. The child likes to win. As a rule, he is very happy and dances the dance of the winner every time he wins. Hates losing. In the event of a loss, he usually pouts, leaves the game, or accuses opponents of foul play. Because of this behavior, friends often avoid him. nine0038
  • Scenario B. The child is obsessed with competition and dreams of winning. Can't accept defeat. Becomes extremely dejected, withdraws, falls into a gloomy state and simply cannot survive failure.
  • Scenario B. The child is a head taller and significantly larger in size than most of their peers. He is constantly teased and teased. One day he decides to change the situation. He begins to use his appearance and physical strength to intimidate and attack children. This stops those who teased him, and at one point the child gains great influence and begins to inspire fear. But along with this, he gets into a lot of trouble with teachers. nine0038
  • Scenario D. The child is problematic and has few friends. Children call him a nerd, a nerd, because he always does his homework on time, is always well prepared for lessons, gets good grades and plays by the rules.

In all of the above scenarios, children act from a position of lack of inner strength. They either do not own and do not know the appropriate strategies, or they resort to unhealthy ways to overcome stress and the vicissitudes of life.

Here are some common signs of a lack of inner strength:

  • Tantrums, emotional outbursts, lying, aggressive behavior, excessive impulsiveness, low tolerance for frustration and inability to cope with setbacks/defeats.
  • Lack of self-confidence, overdependence, holding back fears, tendency to give up easily, low motivation and initiative.
  • Negative feelings and mood swings. nine0038
  • Value conflicts, ethical and moral dilemmas.

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list. There are many subtle signs that go unnoticed, but are manifestations of a weak will or lack of an inner core.

Is it possible to develop inner strength and fortitude, or is this quality innate?

Experts say not all children are born with resilience attitudes and skills. But these skills can be taught, and we as parents can teach them to our little ones. The sooner the child acquires and masters these skills, the more they will be developed and the more easily he will be able to resort to them if necessary. nine0003

We cannot protect our children from all threats and hardships, however much we would like to. But what we can do is help them develop the skills of inner strength and resilience so they can succeed no matter what life's challenges are.

Skills children learn once will stay with them forever. They may be unclaimed, but they will never leave them.

Inner strength is the most important resource. We sometimes lose contact with him, but we can find and turn to him if necessary. In difficult situations, people demonstrate their best qualities, their resilience and courage, applied intelligence and, above all, their inner strength. nine0003

Also, parents don't have to wait until their children have some kind of emotional trauma or a difficult problem to teach them how to deal with such situations. Simply by talking about news stories or discussing possible life scenarios, we can help our children learn some useful tools. A set of the right skills and strategies, ready to use, plays an important role in preparing children to be able to solve problems positively. We as parents can ensure this by recognizing the following four fundamental elements of parenting:

1. The purpose of education is to raise well-rounded children. It is important to develop the body, mind and intellect of children equally. Focus on a healthy diet, exercise and intellectual development of children. At the same time, feed their minds, help them become emotionally strong people, at peace with themselves and ready to face any challenge with courage and determination. In other words, while promoting the physical and intellectual growth of children, we must also develop their psycho-spiritual health! nine0003

2. Create a positive environment. Give children your unconditional love and create an atmosphere of safety and security. Drive growth and provide opportunities for capacity development. Help children discover and display their natural talents and interests.

3. Accept and help children accept their uniqueness. Every child has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. Help children embrace their own uniqueness with joy. Avoid having unrealistic expectations and making unnecessary comparisons. nine0003

4. Be prepared to make a difficult choice between:

  • Insist or allow!
  • Hold or let go!
  • Discipline or give freedom!
  • Protect them or let them take risks!
  • Actively participate in children's lives or give them the right to privacy and privacy!

There are no easy solutions in such situations. It is important for parents to objectively assess the needs of the child and the situation and decide on the appropriate approach at any given time. nine0003

A few tips on developing inner strength in children

Here are some tips for parents on how to raise children with a strong inner core, great fortitude, inner strength.

1. Don't lose faith in yourself

  • Weak self-confidence or self-belief in childhood is often the cause of failure in later life.
  • It is very important to help children overcome self-doubt, overcome their own fears and self-doubt as early as possible. nine0038
  • Believe in your children and help them believe in themselves.

2. “I'm there and ready to help”

  • Continually reassure the children of your support and understanding, whether you approve of their actions or not.
  • Children should not be afraid to trust their parents and turn to them for help when needed.

3. "You can do it, just try"

  • Encourage children's autonomy and independence (practical and emotional) and personal responsibility. nine0038
  • Motivate them to fight against themselves, take on challenges and not give up.

4. “I feel…”

  • Help children identify their own and others' emotions, moods, and reactions.
  • Teach them to express and manage their feelings appropriately.
  • Help develop compassion and empathy for others.

5. Take Action, Don't React

  • Help your toddler develop a tolerance for frustration.
  • Teach them to pause when they are extremely upset or angry so that they can better control themselves and the situation.

6. Failure and disappointment are part and parcel of life

  • Prepare the kids for the ups and downs on the roller coaster called Life.
  • Remind them again and again that "Failure is not a problem if you put in your best effort", "You win some things, you lose some things", "Try again....", "Think about what you can you do it differently next time? nine0038

7. Find the perfect balance of idealism and realism

  • Instill in your children a positive outlook on life and optimism, and at the same time do not shield them from the realistic aspects of life.
  • Encourage rational thinking - for example, people and circumstances are not always fair or do not always repay kindness.

8. A sense of gratitude and appreciation

  • Help your children set high goals for themselves and encourage self-improvement, but also teach them to accept any result with gratitude. nine0038
  • This is due to the fact that they should not always start from feelings of dissatisfaction and their incompleteness.

9. Keep in touch with children

  • Teach children to be warm, friendly, and good manners.
  • Emphasize the importance of looking ahead, maintaining constructive relationships, and building a good circle of support.

10. Time is the best doctor

  • Encourage children to fight and not give up without a fight. nine0038
  • Teach them how their opinion, point of view, or depth of experience can change over time.

11. Changing thoughts - changing feelings

  • Pay attention to the relationship between thinking and experiences, feelings.
  • Explain how different approaches to a situation can lead to different feelings and how good thought control can produce a positive and desirable state of mind and mental attitude. nine0038

12. Ability to maintain interest

  • "Work feeds a person, but laziness spoils." Encourage children to keep their own brains busy and release negative energy. To this end, look for the right balance for toddlers between organized activity and free unstructured play.

13. I show - you follow the example

  • Be a role model and set a good example; show your inner strength and determination. nine0038
  • Lack of directiveness wins over the approach to education like "Do as I say, not as I do"!

14. Happiness is in your hands

  • Teach children not to trust their happiness to external conditions, factors - a person, object or situation.
  • Help little ones keep a balance - not let circumstances dictate mood swings from extreme joy in the current moment to absolute despondency in the next moment.
    • nine0037 Remind children that they can choose how to think, feel, or act in a certain way regardless of external factors.

15. Inspired Living

  • Teach your children to get positive from reading books, watching healthy TV, movies, using the Internet, and cheer up in the company.
  • Help your little ones develop a healthy way of thinking and living from an early age and set clear goals. nine0038
  • Help children feel inspiring moments, learn about real heroes and their stories.
  • Create a positive internal environment with a clear system of global and personal values ​​that will help children get through difficult times.

How to protect your child from bullying

According to WHO, Ukraine ranks fourth in Europe in terms of the level of aggression among adolescents and ninth in terms of the number of victims of bullying. Every fourth child is harassed and bullied. Research conducted by UNICEF shows that 67% of children aged 11 to 17 in Ukraine have experienced bullying. At the same time, 48% of the victims did not tell anyone about violence and harassment. nine0006

Dictionary

Bullying (from the English bully - bully, fighter, rapist) is psychological terror, beating, persecution of one person by another.

Buller (or the aggressor) is not always a child from a dysfunctional family. According to statistics, often bullies are children with the makings of a leader, from good families, but with "troubles" in the moral sphere, in the development of emotional intelligence, with increased physical activity and great claims to the world. nine0003

Buller's retinue is the aggressor's inner circle that approves of his actions.

Observers - children who do not directly participate in aggression and bullying, but also do nothing to change the situation. They also suffer serious psychological trauma. Most often, it is the representative of this group who, overcoming fears, decides to tell adults about the existing problem.

Victim is a child who is somehow different from the majority. Moreover, the only criterion for difference is "he is different." nine0003

Types of bullying

Bullying can take many forms today. Insults, threats, unpleasant comments about appearance, nationality, physical characteristics, and other intimidation using words are verbal bullying. Physical - frequent hitting, kicking, tripping, pushing, unwanted touching. Intimidation through isolation, for example, children do not let one of the students at the dinner table, do not allow them to join a game or a common project - social bullying. Written insults, spreading rumors and false information through email, text messages and social media posts are otherwise known as cyberbullying. nine0003

Signs of child bullying

It is possible to determine that a child suffers from bullying at school or, for example, in a circle, through several signs:

- loss of appetite or overeating;

- frequent deterioration of mood without apparent reason;

- looking for reasons not to go to classes, training or absenteeism;

- lack of communication with classmates during non-school hours;

- "accidental" damage or loss of things, clothes, gadgets;

- lack of desire to attend school events;

- criticism of what was previously considered valuable;

- requests to buy expensive things in order to "raise the status".

Each of these signs separately can also speak about other reasons for such a child's behavior - falling in love, adolescence, adolescence, etc. But if he shows several of these signs, he definitely needs help and support from close adults. To help a child in this situation, there are two ways: preventive and post-event. Let's start with prevention. It is unlikely that anyone will argue that it is better to prevent an event than to deal with the consequences later. nine0003

Explanation and education

Regardless of whether the parents notice any signs of "victim" in the child, he must be taught how to properly respond to aggression and develop communication skills in conflict situations. For example, here are a few possible options:

• You can completely eliminate possible bullying by ignoring petty provocations - for this you need to develop endurance and composure in the child (this is not done in one day).

• The correct reaction to criticism, whether it is fair or not, will help to avoid psychological trauma and even physical conflict - a fight. For example, if a child is told: "You are a weakling." Instead of throwing your fists at the offender, you can say "Yes, I'm not as strong as you." Or to the phrase "You are a fool" the child may respond "You can think that way. I can't forbid you."

• The child should be taught to express his indignation and anger not with a briefcase on the head, but in a human way - it is always useful to say out loud about your anger and dissatisfaction with a situation or words. nine0003

• It is important for parents to convey to the child the idea that if they talk badly about him, this does not mean that he is bad. These words characterize, first of all, the person who says them - only an unfortunate person will assert himself at the expense of another.

Take action

If, despite your best efforts, you notice any signs that your child is being bullied at school, it's time to take action. Be patient - this process is not easy and not fast. The algorithm of actions is as follows:

1.

Gather evidence base

a. Screenshots of messages with insults, testimonies of classmates and witnesses, conclusions about the breakdown of things, certificates of beatings, photographs of torn clothes and school supplies.
b . Record audio or video clips of bullying moments (this filming is not prohibited, so all requests to stop filming can be ignored; for the same reason, we are filmed on camera in stores).
c . Analyze buller's social media accounts. This will help with characterization. nine0003

2. Contact the class teacher, parents of students with whom your child has difficulties, school psychologist, social workers

Tell us in detail about the situation and try to draw up a plan of action to solve the problem.

3. If paragraph 2 does not change the situation, it is time to turn to specialists: a psychologist and a lawyer

a. A psychologist or psychiatrist will give an opinion on the difficult psychological state and morale of the child.
b. nine0006 A lawyer will advise on legal issues. This is especially important if the situation is complex and aggressive.

4. Write complaints (in a clear sequence, without jumping over any instances)

It is to write, not to conduct oral conversations:

a. To the director of the school.
b. (if it did not help) To the commission on juvenile affairs; to the school's governing committee.
c. (if not) Submit a complaint about the inaction of the above institutions to the Department of Education; prosecutor's office; Commissioner for Human Rights in the region. nine0003

5. If the situation is not resolved at the level of the school or the Commission on Juvenile Affairs, it's time to prepare a lawsuit or take the child out of this school and transfer to another

It's up to the parents to decide. If you decide to sue, collect all receipts for medicines prescribed by a psychologist and a pediatrician, receipts for payment for appointments with specialists (doctors, psychologists, lawyers), for tutors (if they were involved in connection with missing classes at school), for spoiled property, for moral harm (the main thing here is not to exaggerate the amount, but to try to assess the real situation). To properly file a claim, contact a lawyer. nine0003

6. Create a public outcry

Often this step helps to solve the problem even before filing an application to the court - many authorities begin to act only after they see a mention of themselves in the media or social networks, and the buller's parents may begin to think about the current situation and raising your child.

7. Constantly monitor the situation

Communicate with the child, explain, support, develop in other directions and with other people.

Unfortunately, the main reasons for the spread of bullying in schools are the behavior of adults (insults, scandals, conflicts, condemnations, gossip, humiliation), which children constantly see and adopt, as well as the fact that the situation of bullying is often not taken seriously. Even a child who succumbs to bullying believes that it is temporary and can just be tolerated. And when things go too far, he may not have the strength to ask adults for help.

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