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How to pick guardians for your child


5 Common Mistakes When Choosing A Guardian

Choose a Legal Guardian As Soon As Possible

Do you have a Last Will & Testament written? What about your wishes for your children? It’s not something you think about every day, but it should be. Your estate is one thing, but your children’s well-being should be top priority. Your will should include the names of the legal guardians to take care of your minor children should you become disabled, pass away, or otherwise be unable to provide for your children. Plan your estate with Angermeier and Rogers.

Before you name a guardian, be careful to not make these 5 common mistakes:

1. Not thinking long-term

What if one of the guardians passes away before you update your will, and the other one isn’t able to take on the role themselves? Creating a backup plan to answer the ‘what-ifs’ is a smart move, and gives you complete control of your children’s well-being even if you’re incapable or deceased.

2. Not providing detailed instructions on how your children should be raised

Do you have a certain school you want your children to attend? What about their nutrition or religion? As a parent, your wishes should be honored. While you cannot guarantee your child learns ballet or plays soccer, you can at least make your wishes of how and where they are raised known.

3. Naming

only 1 guardian

Selecting 3 or 4 different guardians secures your children’s future, especially if your first, or even second choice doesn’t work out for some reason. Carefully selecting several backup guardians guarantees that your children will be under safe care, no matter what happens.

4. Not specifying who you

don’t want raising your children

You have your opinions on who you don’t want as your minor’s guardian. Share them in writing! Documenting who you want and don’t want will settle arguments, even if your extended family members disagree with your choice of guardian. If you are divorced and have primary custody of children from that union, you will definitely want to make it clear how much influence your former spouse can have.

5. Choosing a specific person just to appease them

Don’t select a specific person as a guardian just to appease them. Whether they are friend or family, you should not be pressured into naming a guardian if you do not have 100% certainty they will follow your wishes. It is ultimately YOUR DECISION as a parent to choose who raises your children if you’re unable to do so.

5 Factors to Consider When Naming a Guardian for Your Minor Children

In the unthinkable situation you are left unable to care for your own children due to injury or death, you need someone you trust to ensure they grow up loved. If you do not have a legal guardian, your children could wind up in the foster system or child services where siblings might be separated. The earlier you name a guardian who knows your wishes, the less difficulties there will be in the transition.

Naming a guardian for your children is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your life. Here are 5 factors to consider when naming a legal guardian for custody of your minor children:

1. Parenting Skills

Your best friend or close relative may always be up for an afternoon of babysitting, but are they ready to raise kids 24/7? You want a guardian who is good with kids and is able to take care of them like a parent. Do they have kids of their own? It might be beneficial for the named guardian to already be a parent, so they know how to love and raise children.

2. Location & Living Situation

If something should happen to you, your children would move into the guardian’s home. It’s a rare case where the guardian would move into your house instead. Does the potential guardian live in a dangerous neighborhood? Is it an ideal living situation? Are there good school districts nearby? These are important questions to consider when thinking about your children’s future and well-being. There’s a good chance your kids would continue growing up in that particular environment.

3. Religious & Moral Beliefs

If you have certain religious beliefs and morals, choosing a guardian who lives by similar standards is essential. You want your children to be raised under the same principles, and while finding a guardian who aligns 100% with your beliefs might be difficult, settling for someone close to yours is far better than no morals at all. It is worth noting that godparents are not recognized as legal guardians; however, you can certainly name your child’s godparents as their legal guardians.

4. Stable Job & Financial Situation

The potential guardian’s job situation and financial stability is a very important factor to consider, as adding children into the mix will raise their living costs exponentially. However, a financially well-off guardian who doesn’t really like children may not be appropriate. Consider setting up a trust for your children so their guardian may raise them with financial stability. YOU have to determine the better guardian for child custody.

5. Age & Stage of Life

When searching for guardian candidates, their age and where they are in life is another crucial factor. A young candidate might be too focused on their career and starting a family of their own to care for your children; however, an older candidate might not be ready to parent again. Been there, done that. There may be pros and cons to choosing one or the other, but selecting a guardian for your kids is ultimately your decision.

What Happens if You

Don’t Determine a Guardian Ahead of Time?

No parent enjoys the nature of the topic, but what will happen to your children if you don’t name a guardian? It’s an uncomfortable reality and definitely worth establishing early on.

If you are not able to care for your children and haven’t appointed a rightful guardian, the courts will step in and a judge will make the final decisions of your children’s future.

  • Judges appoint who they think is most appropriate
  • If you are divorced, the court may appoint your former spouse as a guardian to shared children
  • Close family members aren’t guaranteed to be named guardian

What Are the Problems?

Judges try to work in the best interest of your kids, but there will always be problems in the aftermath if you do not plan ahead.

  • Appointed family member might not be who you truly prefer raising your children
  • Blood relatives may receive primary custody over friends or distant relatives you might want instead
  • After guardian is chosen, extended family might disagree over choice & start a legal battle
  • Your child could be placed in the foster system while waiting for a court decision

Legal Guardianship & Child Custody in Wisconsin: What Are the Differences?

Legal guardianship and child custody are similar in concept, but differ in several different ways. Although estate planning includes determining your child’s legal guardian, knowing the difference from child custody is important and helps you determine what is best for your family.

The major differences between both legal actions include:

Legal Guardianship Child Custody
Exercised by a person OR organization determined by the court to care for a minor Granted only to PARENTS of the child
Used if parents are unable to take proper care of child (e. g. prison, abandonment, seriously ill, etc.) Used to determine physical placement of child.

In Wisconsin, child custody usually grants visitation rights to the non-custodial parent
Two types: temporary & permanent

Temporary lasts up to 60+ days, while permanent ends when the minor turns 18

 Two types: legal & physical

Legal involves making decisions on healthcare, religion, education, etc., and

physical includes day-to-day care
Responsibilities include supplying food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, etc. Responsibilities include having the right to make big decisions for the child (e.g. religion, non-urgent medical care, education, etc.)
Can be terminated at any time by the court, depending on the best interest of the child, or if the child turns 18 Is terminated when minor turns 18 (19 if the child is still in high school)

Who Takes Care of My Kids if I’m Divorced & Pass Away?

In the unfortunate event of your passing and you were divorced from your spouse at the time, who takes care of your children? Knowing your children are properly taken care of after your passing is so important and should be planned ahead of time.

Naturally, the state of Wisconsin dictates a surviving biological parent has first parental rights to the minor, even if the deceased’s will has appointed someone else. This means a non-custodial parent could receive custody ahead of your current, surviving spouse. However, there are a few exceptions:

Parent History of Child Abuse, Neglect, or Abandonment

The surviving spouse’s first parental rights can be taken away if they have been charged with child abuse, neglect, or any other harmful behavior. In this scenario, the deceased spouse’s legal will overrules the surviving spouse’s rights and the child is turned over to the appointed legal guardian.

If the surviving parent is not granted custody and there is no legal guardian named, the courts will try to arrange for children to stay with relatives. This process can take time. By naming a legal guardian in your will, you can ensure your wishes are known and your child will be raised by the people you want and trust.

Superior Guidance from Milwaukee Estate Attorneys

Angermeier & Rogers are here to lead you through the entire guardianship process and answer any questions you may have. Drafting a Last Will & Testament and naming a legal guardian for your minor children can get complicated. Trust our knowledge and professional experience in family estate planning, as well as Medicaid planning, retirement asset planning, and trust administration.

Guide to Choosing a Guardian for Your Child

Consider these tips from legal experts when selecting your child’s guardian and use this flowchart to bring up questions to ask when making your decision.

by Tom Anderson

November 01, 2019  |   Money

No one wants to think about the possibility of someone else raising their child, but it’s important to have a plan for your children if something were to happen to you and your partner. As difficult as this decision is, choosing a guardian for your child is an arrangement all parents must make.

There are two types of guardians you can select — guardian of the estate and guardian of the person. A guardian of the estate is responsible for managing your child’s finances if you pass away. A guardian of the person will be the legal guardian of your child when you’re gone. If you don’t name a guardian for your children, the court will. So, it’s in your child’s best interest to handpick a guardian who matches your values and will provide a life for your little one you can feel confident about.

Before you go naming your sister-in-law or your elderly parents, you should think about a few things to make the process easier. Below are tips to consider when choosing your child’s guardian, along with quotes from real parents and a flowchart that covers questions to ask in the decision process.

1. Make a list of potential candidates

Envision the life you want for your child and begin listing out possible candidates. Start with immediate family members such as siblings and parents and work your way out. John E. O’Grady, an estate-planning lawyer in San Francisco, told Parents that “many parents feel duty-bound to choose a close family member, but you need to expand your scope for your child’s sake.”

Sit down with your partner and write down a list of around ten potential candidates. Make sure to include family members, distant relatives and close friends. Mickey Mikeworth at Mikeworth Consulting, a private consulting service, says that she has a combined family and had to have two separate guardian plans for each of her kids because they had different parents. “For my husband’s children, we chose someone who could actually move into our home if needed. For my child, we chose a family member that he was very close to and would adopt him as their own.”

2. Consider your values compared to theirs

Consider your religious, political and moral beliefs compared to the people on your list. Carole Summers, a family psychotherapist, told Today’s Parent that you should consider your own parenting style. “Are you authoritarian, overly permissive or a firm-yet-flexible parent? You want someone who has a similar approach and who shares your values” she explains. This stability in parenting will make it easier for your child to carry on after your gone.

Denna Babul, an author, TV personality and speaker, says when choosing a guardian for her and her husband’s children, it came down to their core values. “We had family we dearly love, but realized they may or may not raise our kids with the values we hold dear to our hearts. I would say that parents need to look at the adults around them and see who they truly believe will hold their values. Do they treat others kindly? Are they charitable? Do they have integrity? Are they trustworthy?”

3. What is their family life like?

When you choose someone to be the guardian of your children, you’re selecting their whole family, not just them. Make sure their family life is similar to yours. For a lot of parents that means finding a family where the couple has a stable relationship. For others, having children for their son or daughter to bond with may be most important.

Joe Flanagan, community lead at DaddiLife, says that it came down to the existing relationship between the future guardian and his or her partner. “Of course, it’s important you trust the person(s), but the main thing for us was choosing a couple who were in a stable and likely ‘forever’ relationship,” he explains.

4. Are they financially stable?

While you may feel tempted to choose your sibling or family friend, make sure the guardian you’re naming is financially stable enough to take on the care of another child. Do they own a home? Have a stable job? Have any significant debt? Jess Holmes, a mother of three boys, says that she and her husband prioritized their options “by deciding who was financially in a position to take on three more children and love them unconditionally, of course. For us, it was my father-in-law.”

Your potential guardian will most likely be listed as the contingent beneficiary in your life insurance policy. This is the person who will collect the death benefits if your primary beneficiary is unable to collect them. Be sure the person you choose is financially responsible enough to handle any finances for your children.

5. Where do they live?

Consider that your children will likely move into the home of the guardian you choose. Stability is vital to children, and you may not want to move your kid to a different state if you don’t have to. “A cross-country move won’t matter to a baby or a toddler, but you’d rather not uproot school-age children from their friends and familiar surroundings,” explains Liza Hanks, author of The Mom’s Guide to Wills and Estate Planning.

Think about where the potential guardian lives and if you can picture your child growing up there. If you live in a suburb, try to find a guardian who lives in a similar neighborhood to yours. Moving your child to a city could be a big culture shock, so aim to keep their living situation as close to yours as possible.

6. Take age and health into account

Your parents may seem like the best option right now, but will they be able to run after your toddler? Will they be able to take your teen to and from soccer practice? “The issue that I frequently encounter as an attorney when selecting a guardian is the potential for ‘changed circumstances,’” says David Reischer, a family lawyer and CEO at LegalAdvice.com. “I have had to change an already court-approved legal guardianship of a minor after health issues developed in the guardian.”

Checking the age and health history of each potential guardian is an important step. Make sure to select someone who will be there for your child for the duration of the guardianship.

7. Select your guardian(s)

Once you have taken all of the above into account, it’s time to select your guardian. Consider choosing two guardians if it makes sense for your situation — a guardian of the estate (someone to handle the finances) and guardian of the person (someone to handle your child’s daily life). Find someone who you and your partner both agree on and who has the finances, family life and values you feel comfortable with. Consider picking a back up guardian in case they end up saying no.

8. Ask permission

Asking your chosen guardian for permission is a memorable moment. “Make the ask special by writing a personal letter or sharing your heart with the couple in person,” says Denna Babul. “Allow them time to consider the ask and make it communicative.”

Start the conversation by first thanking them for always being there for you and your family. Then, preface the question by saying that you would like them to really think and consider your question since it could change their lives forever. After asking, have an open and honest conversation about your expectations and the responsibilities that come with being a guardian.

How to choose your guardian

This is the hardest part for a lot of parents because it makes the decision so final. Parents who pass away without naming a guardian ultimately leave the fate of their kids in the hands of a judge. Choosing a guardian for your children is something you must face as a parent. However, if you’re comfortable with your choice, all you have to do is name the person in your will.

Get together with your spouse and create a last will and testament if you haven’t already. Make sure you have the correct information for the guardian you choose and write down any specific wishes you have. Any verbal agreements you make with the guardian will not hold up in court.

No one can replace you as a parent and the thought of someone else raising your children is scary. However, if you find someone who mirrors your values, has stable finances and a family your child feels comfortable around, your child will be in the right hands if something were to happen to you and your partner. For more tips on how to choose a guardian for your children, check out our flowchart below that covers questions you should be asking yourself.