How to make your child a leader

Leadership and children — Better Kid Care — Penn State Extension

Leadership instills confidence, and helps children solve problems creatively, work in a team, and work collaboratively with others.

Why leadership?

Leadership skills allow children to have control of their lives and the ability to make things happen. Leadership instills confidence, and helps children solve problems creatively, work in a team, and work collaboratively with others. Leadership gives children many opportunities to develop responsibility.

While you may not find the word leadership in the early learning standards, many states have statements related to leadership in their standards in the social-emotional section. Key phrases that relate to leadership are “self-confidence”, “problem solving”, “pro-social,” and “makes independent decisions and choices.” For example, in Pennsylvania’s Pre-Kindergarten Early Learning Standards for social and emotional development skills for children include “Know and state independent thoughts and feelings” (25. 1.1 Self Awareness) and “Participate in new experiences with confidence and independence” (25.1.3 Competence).

Are leaders born or made?

There is some debate whether some children are “born leaders” or they “learn to be” leaders. All children have the potential to develop leadership skills. Leadership development can be a lifelong process. As adults, we can teach the skills necessary for children to take on leadership roles now and in the future. Here are some ways that you can help children develop leadership skills:

Model leadership behavior to children. Children learn from seeing what others do. Tell the child what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Teach children how to see things from another’s point of view. Good communication is a key component to being an effective leader. Teach children how to listen carefully and how to respond to others in a calm and respectful way.
Help children build self-confidence. Give children opportunities to do a good job and offer praise when appropriate. You might say, “I am so proud of you that you volunteered to be the leader of the ‘toy clean up’ team in your classroom. It is a big job to make sure all your classmates are doing their part.”
Find ways to create problem solving situations. Children can learn how to solve their own problems. Allow children to start making small decisions such as which activity they want to participate in and then give them more opportunities to make decisions as they learn the concepts of responsibility and consequences of making a decision.
Give children the opportunity to take leadership roles in the
classroom. Create leadership situations in the form of classroom jobs.Children can lead by becoming the classroom “greeter”, “paper/supply
manager”, “line leader,” or “attendance taker”. Teachers should inform
children of the responsibilities of each classroom job and guide them as they take on that leadership role. Children should have the opportunity to try various leadership jobs within the classroom.
Teach children how to work with others in a team situation. Group projects or sports activities are ways for children to work on a team.
Assist children to develop a plan or strategy to address a problem or situation. Children, as well as adults, shy away from leadership tasks because they feel overwhelmed. Show children how to break tasks into workable ways to get the job done.
Encourage children to pursue things that interest them. They may develop a passion for it and feel comfortable and later take on a leadership role.
Encourage parents to look for leadership opportunities for children. Leadership opportunities can be in your child care program or another program at a school, church, community or club. Children can also take a leadership role in a family event.
Encourage communication and action. Leadership involves speaking up or taking action. You can encourage children’s leadership abilities by suggesting projects or identifying problems that may be important to them and helping them to come up with suggestions for actions and possible solutions.

Examples:

During the holiday season, many organizations hold canned food or coat drives. Ask children in your care to think about what they would like to do to help. Have them choose another group to work with, such as the local elementary school, and decide how they would like to help.
Some children might become concerned about a little puppy or other another animal in a story you are reading. They wonder what can be done to help animals. Ask them for ideas about what they would do for the puppy if they were in the story. The teacher can write down or have the children draw pictures of their ideas and have a discussion about caring for animals.

“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.”– Anonymous

Teaching children how to be a leader at a young age will help children deal with peer pressure in the teenage years. Being a leader is not an exact science, but teaching children the skills needed to be leaders are important to help prepare the next generation to take the lead and become responsible adults.

Resources to use to help build skills related to leadership development.

Pennsylvania’s Promise for Children – Pennsylvania’s Promise for Children is a campaign to raise awareness about the importance of providing Pennsylvania’s young children with access to quality early learning opportunities. This source gives ideas on how to include children and their families to take the lead in promoting community early learning events in their community. http://paprom.convio.net
National Association for the Education of Young Children – NAEYC’s mission is to serve and act on behalf of the needs, rights and well-being of all young children with primary focus on the provision of educational and developmental services and resources. NAYEC has many online journal articles and position statements related to leadership and early learning and education. http://www.naeyc.org
Pennsylvania Early Learning Standards – The Pennsylvania Early Childhood Education Standards are research-based standards that identify key learning areas of development for children and are reflected in the Core Body of Knowledge competencies. The standards guide practitioners to intentionally integrate developmental knowledge with the attitudes, skills, and concepts children need to make progress in all learning areas. http://www.pakeys.org/page/get.aspx?page=career_standards
Week of the Young Child – is an annual celebration sponsored by the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). The purpose of the Week of the Young Child™ is to focus public attention on the needs of young children and their families and to recognize the early childhood programs and services that meet those needs. This source gives ideas about how to include children and their families to take the lead in community events related to the Week of the Young Child. http://www.naeyc.org/woyc

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How to Raise a Child With Leadership Skills

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An 8-year-old girl sits in my office, sharing her latest plan to get all of the girls in her class to get along and play together at recess. She talks at a rapid pace, her eyes wide with anticipation of my response to her plan. The biggest problem at recess, she tells me, is that the girls run off in different directions in small groups. This leaves some girls left out, and some girls unsure where to go or where they fit in. She’s sure that a “recess sign up plan” will give each girl a chance to find a group that works for her that day. It’s not that the girls argue or have cliques, she explains, it’s that recess is so short that girls don’t have the patience to spend time deciding what to do. It’s an insightful plan coming from such a young girl.

The problem is she lacks the leadership skills to attempt to put her plan into action. “They won’t listen to me,” she tells me. “They will talk over me. I’m not the kind of kid that other kids listen to.” Her eyes are glued to the floor as she utters that final statement. We sit quietly for a moment, as she considers her options. I break the silence with a plan to help her learn to lead. The first step: Practicing the art of assertive communication.

Some kids appear to be natural leaders, but most kids need guidance, practice, and the gift of time to hone these very important skills. The good news is there are simple steps to take at home to help plant the seeds of leadership.

1. Teach communication skills. A big part of being a leader is using clear and assertive communication skills. Leaders build relationships and solve problems. Leaders remain calm under stress and know when to ask for help. A great first step toward raising a leader is teaching your child how to communicate assertively. First, help her understand the differences between passive (afraid to speak up, avoids eye contact, hides in plain sight), aggressive (loud! Imposing! in your face!), and assertive (good eye contact, firm but clear voice, listens with interest) communicators. I often suggest using both role-play and books to understand these communication styles. Once your children understand how to use assertive communication, practice it at home. Hold an election and encourage her to run for some household office — complete with speeches!

2. Encourage them to dream big. Your kid spends a large percentage of his time completing tasks assigned by the adults in his life, both at home and in school, so it’s important to encourage him to find (and follow) his passion during his free time. Support your child as he chases his dreams, be it a lemonade stand to save an endangered animal or enrolling in a theater program to learn to act, and you’ll set him on a path toward leadership.

3. Find positive role models. It’s no big secret that many kids look to athletes and other celebrities as role models to some degree, but I find that local role models have much more to offer. Have a child who loves to bake but time spent in the kitchen isn’t your favorite? Look for a friend or neighbor who might want a little help in the kitchen from time to time. Does your child want to save every animal on the planet? See if a local animal shelter can use a helper. Role models are everywhere. Find someone local who shares your child’s interest and can help her learn the ropes and tap into her strengths.

4. Volunteer together. Serving humanity helps kids see firsthand that they have the power to make a difference in this world. When families volunteer together, they work together to improve the lives of others. That’s a powerful lesson in leading the way toward a better, more empathic, world.

5. Teach conflict resolution. You can’t act as a leader if you don’t know how to manage conflict. We all face conflict and learning to cope with those conflicts in a peaceful way helps build leaders. A great place to start is with sibling squabbles. I often hear that parents should step back and let kids “fight it out”, but I disagree. Yes, you should let your kids attempt to work out their differences at times, but playing mediator can also be useful. Ask your kids to state the problem, in their own words, using “I statements” (which help children to take responsibility for their own actions). Next, have them identify their needs. Third, work together as a team to find a compromise that suits everyone. Sometimes compromise isn’t possible and a break is necessary. That’s okay. Taking a break teaches kids that it’s okay to take time to work through conflict. They don’t have to solve every problem the moment it arises. All great leaders know this to be true.

6. Model perseverance. Leaders don’t quit. They might want to quit at times. They might walk away from a challenge and take a relaxation break from time, but they do know how to persevere and work through challenges. I encourage my kids to follow these steps when they encounter a challenge that makes them want to give up:

Regroup: Take a break and relax for a while.
Reframe: View that obstacle as a speed bump instead of a wall.
Retry: We don’t always get it right on the first try, but we can always try again.

7. Encourage teamwork. I recently attempted to describe the team of people who help the President on a daily basis. My kids were in awe of the amount of people working behind the scenes. Part of leadership is being a team player and being a team leader. All too often kids are taught to stand out and be the best, but this sends the message that the individual is greater than the team. Teach your kids about the power of teamwork. When kids learn to support others, cooperate, and problem solve as a group, they become better leaders.

8. Hone decision-making skills. A mom recently asked me why it’s so hard for her son to make decisions. She described him as kind, thoughtful, and bright, but terrible at making choices. When I asked her how often he gets to make decisions, I was met with a blank stare. The best way to hone decision-making skills is to practice making decisions! Give your kids the power of choice by letting him decide what to wear, how he likes his hair, and which notebooks to buy for school. So much of life is scripted for kids. If we fail to present them with options, they never learn to choose.

All young children have the potential to become great leaders as they grow. If we support their interests and teach them how to negotiate group dynamics and other social settings, they will learn to navigate tough decisions and resolve conflict with ease. All we have to do is believe in their abilities to make positive changes in this world.

Photo: Getty

How to Raise a Leader: 8 Strategies for Parents and Children - Ideonomics - Smart about the Essentials

Photo: Atos/Flickr

We all want our children to become leaders. Forbes columnist and emotional intelligence expert Travis Bradberry talks about how to achieve this.

Wherever our children work in the future, we want them to be brave, enthusiastic, sincere. We want them to inspire other people to be better, so that they get more value and meaning out of their lives than seems possible.

And their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can set a pattern for them and teach them skills that will enable them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, but they may also fall prey to the passive mindset that forces them to accept the status quo. This is a huge responsibility - like everything related to parenting. And the beauty is that the character of our children is shaped by the little things we do every day. Focus on the eight points listed below and you will be able to develop leadership qualities in your children and in yourself.

1. Set Emotional Intelligence Patterns

Emotional intelligence is something intangible; it influences how we manage our behavior, how we respond to the social complexities around us, and how we make important personal decisions. Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents. Your children watch you every day and absorb your behavior like sponges. They especially feel your response to strong emotions and your reaction to theirs.

Emotional intelligence is one of the most important drivers of success in leadership positions. TalentSmart has tested over a million people and found that 58% of leader performance is driven by emotional intelligence. and 90% of highly effective leaders have high emotional intelligence.

Most people do very little to develop their emotional intelligence. Only 36% of those tested were able to accurately label the emotions they were experiencing. Children who develop a high level of emotional intelligence carry this skill into adulthood, and it becomes a support for them both in life and in leadership.

2. Don't Be Obsessed with Achievement

Many parents are obsessed with achievement because they believe their children should become high performers. But this fixation creates a variety of problems for children. Particularly when it comes to leadership, focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how to actually get things done.

Simply put, the strongest leaders surround themselves with good people and great people because they know they can't do it alone. Achievement-obsessed kids are so focused on rewards and results that they don't fully comprehend it. All they see is players getting prizes and celebrity CEOs making the news. It seems to them that all this is a consequence of individual actions. And when they find out how life really works, it becomes a severe shock.

3. Do not praise too much

Children need praise to develop healthy self-confidence. Unfortunately, more praise does not mean more self-confidence. Children need self-belief to be successful leaders, but if you cheer every time they pick up a pencil or kick a ball, it creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your kids how proud you are of their passion and their efforts, but don't make them look like superstars when they clearly aren't.

4. Allow them to experience both risk and failure

Success in business and in life is based on risk. When parents go to great lengths to protect their children, they prevent them from taking risks and reaping the consequences of that risk. When you are not allowed to fail, you do not understand the risk. A leader cannot take adequate risks until they understand the bitter taste of defeat that comes when you risk everything and lose.

The road to success is strewn with failures. When you try to insulate children from defeat in order to bolster their self-esteem, they find it difficult to accept defeat, which is necessary to succeed as a leader. And don't stress too much when they don't succeed. Children need your support at this time. They need to know that you care about them. They need to know that you understand the pain of losing. Your support allows them to accept the experience and realize that they can get through it. And this is a serious process of work on your character, which is necessary for future leaders.

5. Say no

When we indulge children too much, it is guaranteed to limit their leadership development. To become a successful leader, a person must be able to delay gratification and work hard for something that really matters. Children need to develop that kind of patience. They should set goals and experience the joy that comes from working diligently towards them. Saying "no" will upset your kids now, but they'll get over it. But spoiled they can not overcome.

6. Let children solve their own problems

Leadership involves a certain amount of self-sufficiency. When you are in command, you must be able to be the last one and clear all the blockages that have arisen. When parents constantly solve their problems for their children, children will never develop the critical ability to stand firmly on their own two feet. Children, to whose aid someone rushes all the time to clean up after them, wait for this for the rest of their lives. Leaders take action. They take the lead. They are responsible and accountable. Your children should be the same.

7. Live up to your words

Real leaders are transparent and open. They're not perfect, but they win people's respect by living up to what they say. Your children can naturally develop this quality, but only if they see you demonstrate the same. You must be honest in everything, not only in what you say and do, but also in who you are. Your words and actions should be appropriate for who you say you are. Your kids will see this and want to do the same.

8. Show that you are human too

No matter how naughty and defiant your children may be at one time or another, you are still their hero, their model for the future. Knowing this may encourage you to hide your past mistakes for fear that your children will want to repeat them. But it's the other way around: when you don't show your vulnerability in any way, your kids develop a lot of guilt about every failure, because they think they're the only ones making such terrible mistakes.

In order to develop leadership qualities, children need to know that the people they look up to are not perfect either. Leaders need to be able to reflect on their mistakes, learn from them, and get better. Children are not capable of this when they are deafened by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—who will teach them to reflect on their mistakes and learn from them. When you show them how it went for you in the past, you will help them with this.

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September 1, 2015

How to raise a child as a leader — we develop leadership qualities in a child

Parents want their child to grow up as a leader, a bright and charismatic person. The ability to lead people is a rare trait that will help in life.

How to develop a child's leadership qualities correctly? Is it possible to make a timid kid a leader?

What does it mean to be a leader

In the mass consciousness there is an attractive image of a leader who leads group members to a common goal, knows how to find a way out of a difficult situation and has great power. Leaders are often credited with other positive qualities: high intelligence, artistry, orator's talent.

The role of a leader attracts with its exclusivity: it seems to people that being in the first roles is proof of success in life. However, not all so simple.

Ignoring the peculiarities and needs of others, we do not become true leaders. The desire to achieve what you want by any means is a quality that has little to do with leadership.

How is a leader different from others?

The leader of any group is a generator of ideas. He constantly seeks to make adjustments to the life of the team, to improve the conditions of existence. It requires high analytical skills and ingenuity.
A real leader is responsible for every action - members of a social group will first turn to him for help. All scenarios must be considered.
Useful healthy self-esteem, self-confidence. Speaking on behalf of the team, the leader is more likely than others to be in sight, in contact with the outside world. Criticism is inevitable, so this responsibility can injure a weak person.
The leader is comprehensively developed and erudite: it is necessary to keep knowledge in the head in order to be well versed in the laws of the world and make the right decisions.
Such a person does not fall into dependence, defends his own point of view to the last. The main task is to think about the needs, to bring them to the fore.
However, perseverance should not flow into stubbornness and intractability. Leaders are out-of-the-box thinking and are able to admit mistakes when necessary. Any miscalculation turns into a lesson, life experience.

The leader believes in the common cause so strongly that he is able to motivate other people by personal example when they are in despair or lose their enthusiasm. Supporting friends, team members, a person with leadership qualities ensures the successful completion of any undertakings.

There is an erroneous assumption that a leader is ready to go head over heels in order to become the best and gain power, but in order to occupy a leading position, a large share of empathy, empathy is required. You need to constantly put yourself in the place of another person in order to agree on time, make friends with the right people. A well-developed emotional intelligence is indispensable here.

Leadership qualities develop based on the child's egocentrism (which is present in any person). The task of parents is to direct the energy of the baby in a peaceful direction, so that leadership helps the overall development of the personality, and does not slow it down: you can become the leader of a bad company and harm others, or you can lead a group to help the victims. It all depends on the moral qualities of the child.

Let's figure out how to recognize a future leader by specific character traits and actions.

How to identify leadership qualities in a child?

There are individuals who need to work on themselves throughout their lives in order to obtain the status of a leader. Certain types of psyche have leadership qualities from birth - perhaps your child is also a natural leader.

A bright and noticeable personality

Children, wanting to get something immediately, often use manipulative communication techniques: they scream, throw tantrums, blackmail their parents. A child with pronounced leadership qualities does not need to raise his voice every time - he gets what he needs with the help of charm and the ability to negotiate.

Talents

Leadership requires talent: the ability to speak in public, choose the right words, find contact with the audience. A child with an innate desire to lead people is sure to be a good speaker. Such children love attention, strive to perform on stage, demonstrating artistry.

If a child is drawn to speech development classes, performs in a children's theater, loves to entertain guests, he has the makings to become a leader.

High responsibility

As written earlier, a leader is not afraid to take responsibility into his own hands. How does this manifest itself in children? Look at any children's company: there will always be a kid in it who takes the initiative most boldly. For example, when a teacher asks children to divide into groups during a team game, a child who wants to become a captain is always highlighted.

Such kids confidently give orders, understand the strengths and weaknesses of their friends. From this follows the next point.

The gift of an effective leader

A child with innate leadership qualities from early childhood can be a good organizer. What does it mean?

Before others, he begins to see promising areas of development, likes to command his peers. The child notices how team members interact with each other and understands the mistakes that are made.

Psychological flexibility

Intelligence and resourcefulness are important elements of leadership qualities. However, people never follow a person who is incapable of making contact. Empathy is a constant companion of a leader.

Homogeneity of behavior

The child strives to be a leader not only in a close family circle, where support is guaranteed: being among strangers, the baby also stands out from the rest.

The leader intuitively understands the psychological type of the interlocutor, quickly finds an approach to representatives of different temperaments. A comfortable atmosphere reigns in the company of such a person: the baby leader unites peers who would never have become friends without outside influence.

Doubts remain? Conduct a social experiment. When the child is sitting surrounded by other people (especially peers), ask 2-3 people to stand up. If the baby has the makings of a leader, he will get up first.

The listed character traits are not common to everyone, but you can work on them, achieving results in different areas of life.

Emotional intelligence for children

We introduce children to the types of emotions, how to manage them and how to express themselves in teamwork, through situational games

learn more

Why should a child develop leadership qualities?

A timid, unsociable child is able to become more socially active with the help of parents and teachers.

Why is this important?

Leadership qualities are good helpers during the communication process. They help to achieve the goal, to identify personal boundaries - the leader always clearly sees what should be strived for.
Leader traits are needed when building a career. Adults find that they need to be developed when work and interaction with colleagues requires it. It is better to start in childhood: the baby will get used to the dominant position, and at a more mature age it will not bring discomfort.
A leader does not have to be in contact with people or manage large teams. Leadership qualities are needed for many types of development: for example, for your own business. Projects related to society require pronounced character traits.

Previously, much less attention was paid to this issue: it was enough to become a good worker, conscientiously perform duties. What changed?

Society began to focus on individual rather than collective needs. It is important to take care of your personal image. Of course, caring for the needs of other people is a good thing, but without working on oneself, a person will not reach heights.
The level of competition has increased - in the labor market, in business, in the sphere of relations. Charismatic and persistent people earn more, it is easier for them to improve the quality of life.
The world needs bright personalities who can offer fresh ideas in the service, science, and art sectors. Leadership qualities help convey the idea to a mass audience.

It seems that being a leader is the key to success. However, there are always fewer leaders than followers, and the question arises: is everyone capable of being a leader? Will this desire bring harm?

Leadership qualities largely depend on heredity, congenital characteristics, but living conditions and upbringing also play an important role in shaping a child's personality. If the kid grows up as an introvert, from childhood he is prone to social anxiety, then it will be difficult for him to break through to the pedestal.

Leaders carry a heavy burden of responsibility that will become an emotional burden for an impressionable child. The leadership position will become a source of stress.

Some of the characteristics of leaders (quick reaction, creation of ideas, activity, perseverance) simply do not fit with certain types of human psyche. Melancholic children, for example, function in a completely different way: they need immersion in the process, emotional security, solitude and calmness.

If you notice that your child is not capable of taking on a leadership role, offer to develop other skills. Society is in dire need of analysts who are able to assess events from the outside; in creative people; in workers performing routine work without interruption.

Each person realizes their personal potential. If you are still confident that leadership development will benefit your baby, use these tips.

How to develop leadership skills in a child?

It is important to listen to the opinion and feelings of the baby, even in small things. Parents often press with experience, authority, not trying to delve into the ideas of the child. Correct this mistake - ask children about plans for the future, consult before making a fateful decision.
Don't block a child's initiative, even if you think it's stupid. The kid should learn from his own mistakes.
Take care of intellectual and physical development. Let the child find a suitable hobby, spend time with like-minded people.
Develop a healthy attitude towards defeat. Failure is normal, a child's self-esteem should not suffer from failure.
Engage children in competitive activities: even everyday activities can become interesting if they are raced.
Discuss questions and problems with your child, discuss. Learn to express a point of view.
A baby needs to communicate not only with peers: let adults also enter the social circle. This will broaden your horizons, teach you to understand people.

Leadership games and exercises for children

The following simple exercises will help to instill in your child the qualities of leaders from childhood.

1. "Social roles"

Invent games in which the child will have to be resourceful, organized, and take responsibility.

For example, invite your child to start a small “business” selling office supplies: collect books, notebooks, pens and tell “customers” (parents) about your store in a way that will get them interested. Ask leading questions: “How do you choose employees? How to make your store better than the others in the city?

Another option is to designate a child as the owner of an art gallery and ask them to share their values. The role of a guide teaches resourcefulness, self-presentation.

2. “The most important”

Sometimes it is good for a child to be the leader in the family. Choose a joint activity for family members (buying groceries and things for the home, general cleaning, etc.). Then adults should lay down their usual duties and transfer them to the child: the baby independently determines the sequence of actions, gives instructions.

If you see that the child offers irrational solutions, offer some of your own options.

3. Sports games

Traditional competitions between teams really affect morale and the desire to become a winner.

Participate in physical or mental challenges (football, chess, etc.)

4. Family Photo

This is a famous exercise popular with educators. It allows you to observe the behavior of children in a team: who is the informal leader, who competes, who prefers to stay on the sidelines.

The essence of the game: a photographer is selected who must take a photo for the "family album". Then the children determine the role of the grandfather - he has the right to arrange the rest of the children as he sees fit.

Children cope with the task in different ways, but with regular training, even tight kids begin to feel more confident.

Gentle leadership development will affect academic performance, interpersonal relationships, and self-esteem.