How to help your adult child with depression

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
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It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.
After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
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For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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How to help your child cope with depression

It may seem to an adult that there are no reasons for depression in a teenager. He does not need to feed his family, take care of others, carry out complex projects and be responsible for anyone. However, it is not. It is believed that every eighth teenager suffers from depression, and this situation worsens every year.

It is extremely important for you as a parent to recognize the first signs of depression in your child. Here are the most verbose of them:

irritability, anger, hostility;
helplessness;
loss of interest in hobbies and everything that used to give pleasure;
changes in eating and sleeping habits;
feelings of worthlessness and guilt;
lack of motivation and enthusiasm;
poor academic performance;
difficulty with concentration;
low self-esteem;
phone addiction;
smoking and alcohol.

It should be understood that depression in adults can be fundamentally different from that of adolescence. If an adult can be quiet and solitary, then a teenager tends to be hostile to others.

There can be several causes of depression: problems in school, family, personal and social life According to Mayo Clinic research, several factors can lead to depression, including:

Traumatic events. Most children do not have well-developed coping mechanisms for mental difficulties. A traumatic event can leave a lasting impression.
Inherited traits. Research shows that depression has a biological component. It can be passed from parents to their children.
Learned Negative Thinking Patterns. Adolescents who are regularly exposed to pessimistic thinking, especially from their parents. They "learn" to feel helpless rather than overcome difficulties.
Features of the teenage brain. Research has shown that adolescent brains are structurally different from adult brains. Adolescents with depression may also have hormonal differences and varying levels of neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the main chemicals in the brain that affect how brain cells communicate with each other and play an important role in regulating mood and behavior.

Hippocrates recommended to people suffering from depression, tincture of opium, to receive encouragement and support, massages, warm baths and mineral water from a well-known source in Crete. Let's find out what has fundamentally changed in terms of self-medication over several thousand years. But before you read the tips, it's important to understand one thing: don't lecture your teen. This is the worst strategy you can ever use. You must, above all, listen and offer your advice unobtrusively.

1. Encourage social activity

Depressed teenagers tend to avoid their friends and other social activities. However, isolation only makes things worse, so do your best to prevent this from happening.

First of all, it is you who should become a friend. Schedule a time in advance for the conversation, otherwise you will always be busy for this. Turn off your mobile phone and do not be distracted while talking to other things. Regular face-to-face dialogue can significantly reduce your child's stress level.

Actively fight the child's social isolation. Do your best to have your child go out with friends or invite them home. Encourage him to enroll in dance, sports, music, or art classes. Despite the fact that at first he will not have enough motivation and interest in this activity, over time the situation will change.

2. Encourage sports

Physical and mental health are inextricably linked. Depression is exacerbated by inactivity, insufficient sleep, and poor nutrition.
Unfortunately, teenagers are known for their unhealthy habits: staying up late, eating unhealthy food and spending hours on their phones and other electronic devices. As a parent, you can combat this behavior by creating a healthy, supportive home environment.

During depression, the body seems to freeze and does not want to spend additional energy on physical movements. When a person begins to actively move, he seems to send a signal to his brain that everything is back to normal.

The problem is that most teenagers don't even like the word "sport". So think outside the box: take him on a hike, let him take his dog for a walk, ride a bike or skateboard - just about anything where there is physical activity will do.

Set a limit on phone and computer use. Teenagers often go online to avoid their problems, but as screen time increases, physical activity and the desire to hang out with friends decrease. Both of these points are a recipe for worsening symptoms.

Provide your child with nutritious and balanced meals. Make sure your teen is getting the nutrition they need for optimal brain health and mood support: healthy fats, quality protein, and fresh foods. Eating lots of sugary, starchy foods is a quick way to make things worse.

It is also believed that teenagers need a lot of sleep - about 9-10 hours. Make sure your teen gets that rest.

3. Know when to seek professional help

Lifestyle changes and support are the right steps, but sometimes they are not enough. If you feel the problem is serious, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a mental health professional.

When choosing a specialist, be sure to listen to the opinion of your child, let him make his own choice. It is this tactic that will not infringe on his pride, in addition, there is a chance to find a therapist with whom the child will be comfortable.

Unfortunately, many parents opt for antidepressants because they are much cheaper than other treatments. Therefore, resort to them only in extreme and neglected cases. Therapists usually start with simple conversations and often find the cause of problems.

Antidepressants have been developed and tested in adults, so their effect on young, developing brains is not yet fully understood. Some researchers are concerned that exposure to drugs such as the famous Prozac may interfere with normal brain development, especially how the brain manages stress and regulates emotions.

Antidepressants also come with risks and side effects, including a number of safety issues specific to children and young people. Therefore, if your child takes them, carefully monitor the psychological state - panic attacks, excessive anxiety and aggression may indicate that they negatively affect his body.

4. Support your child during treatment for depression

Just because you decide to see a specialist doesn't mean you don't have to do anything now. Offer support and listen to him. Now more than ever, your child needs to know that they are cared for, appreciated and understood.

Living with a depressed teenager can be difficult and draining. From time to time, you may experience fatigue, rejection, despair, or any other negative emotion. It is important to understand that the child is not doing this out of malice, so do not be offended by him and treat him with patience and understanding.

Make sure your child is following the doctor's instructions, attending therapy, and taking prescribed medications correctly.

5. Take care of yourself

It is extremely important that you do not neglect your physical and mental health, because it depends on whether you can emotionally cope with all the difficulties.

Don't accumulate your emotions. Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and helpless from time to time is normal. Connect with friends and talk about how you feel.

Avoid only one emotional state - guilt. Self-flagellation will not lead to anything good, and will also add an additional level of stress.

To better understand your child, you can read some of the following books:

Teenage Depression by Douglas Riley.
"Our uncontrollable teenagers", Alexei Bulgakov.
"Aggressive teenager", Tatyana Avdulova.
"Psychology of adolescence", Tatyana Avdulova.

We sincerely hope that you will need this article only for general development. But anyway, good luck!

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How to help a child with depression – Center for Child Neuropsychology ROST

Adolescence is an important stage in life. At this age, adolescents are characterized by physical, emotional, psychological and social changes. Everyone knows that emotions can manifest themselves brighter, or withdrawal into oneself is possible, often the feeling of anxiety, irritation becomes stronger, often there is increased fatigue, a decrease in learning motivation, possibly excessive aggression towards oneself or others. Usually this condition lasts no more than 1 year and can proceed within the normal range, but often parents, thinking that this is a “transitional age”, do not notice “teenage depression”.

How do you tell adolescence from adolescent depression?

Depression is a mental disorder. During depression, 3 components are combined:

The emotional component is a violation of mood and emotional reactions, most often the mood is depressed, everything that used to please, now does not bring pleasure.
Cognitive component (thinking processes) - the pace of thinking decreases, the ability to concentrate attention, the ability to generally solve some pressing issues, learning motivation decreases.
Behavioral component: eating disorders - a person may start to eat too much or too little, anorexia or bulimia may occur; sleep disturbance - sleep may disappear or, conversely, the child may sleep non-stop and not get enough sleep.

If this condition continues for more than two weeks, this is an alarming sign and a reason to seek professional help as soon as possible.

Depression is a very dangerous condition, because apparently nothing terrible is happening: sad, passive, lethargic, does not think well. But in a situation of worse outcome, this condition can be deadly - with depression, the risk of suicide increases.

Even simple everyday things, when depression is severe, begin to cause real difficulties. It is sometimes difficult for parents to understand why it suddenly became difficult for a child to go to wash or clean up his clothes, go to the next room for some thing. They write it off as laziness or whims. "Well, it's a transitional age!" The level of strength in depression is really minimal.

Depression is very diverse and has different forms, including atypical ones, with a manic state, when there is a lot of energy, ideas, erratic activity, manifestation of aggression.

Depression is the most common mental illness and is on the rise. And, of course, there are reasons for this: relations between people have changed, today there are not so many strong positive relationships, more and more often live communication is being replaced by online communication, the pace of life has accelerated, we have begun to expect and demand much more from children, we are focusing on intellectual development, forgetting from the emotional, and yet the ability to express emotions and do it right is a very important aspect of human life.