How to help my child with autism
Helping Your Child with Autism Thrive
autism
There are many things you can do to help a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) overcome their challenges. These parenting tips, treatments, and services can help.
A parent's guide to autism treatment and support
If you've recently learned that your child has or might have autism spectrum disorder, you're probably wondering and worrying about what comes next. No parent is ever prepared to hear that a child is anything other than happy and healthy, and an ASD diagnosis can be particularly frightening. You may be unsure about how to best help your child, or confused by conflicting treatment advice. Or you may have been told that ASD is an incurable, lifelong condition, leaving you concerned that nothing you do will make a difference.
While it is true that ASD is not something a person simply “grows out of,” there are many treatments that can help children acquire new skills and overcome a wide variety of developmental challenges. From free government services to in-home behavioral therapy and school-based programs, assistance is available to meet your child's special needs and help them learn, grow, and thrive in life.
When you’re looking after an autistic child, it’s also important to take care of yourself. Being emotionally strong allows you to be the best parent you can be to your child in need. These parenting tips can help by making life with an autistic child easier.
Don't wait for a diagnosis
As the parent of a child with ASD or related developmental delays, the best thing you can do is to start treatment right away. Seek help as soon as you suspect something's wrong. Don't wait to see if your child will catch up later or outgrow the problem. Don't even wait for an official diagnosis. The earlier children with autism spectrum disorder get help, the greater their chance of treatment success. Early intervention is the most effective way to speed up your child's development and reduce the symptoms of autism over the lifespan.
[Read: Does My Child Have Autism?]
Helping your child with autism thrive tip 1: Provide structure and safety
Learning all you can about autism and getting involved in treatment will go a long way toward helping your child. Additionally, the following tips will make daily home life easier for both you and your child with ASD:
Be consistent. Children with ASD have a hard time applying what they've learned in one setting (such as the therapist's office or school) to others, including the home. For example, your child may use sign language at school to communicate, but never think to do so at home. Creating consistency in your child's environment is the best way to reinforce learning. Find out what your child's therapists are doing and continue their techniques at home. Explore the possibility of having therapy take place in more than one place in order to encourage your child to transfer what he or she has learned from one environment to another.
It's also important to be consistent in the way you interact with your child and deal with challenging behaviors.
Stick to a schedule. Autistic children tend to do best when they have a highly-structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they both need and crave. Set up a schedule for your child, with regular times for meals, therapy, school, and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare your child for it in advance.
Reward good behavior. Positive reinforcement can go a long way with children with ASD, so make an effort to “catch them doing something good.” Praise them when they act appropriately or learn a new skill, being very specific about what behavior they're being praised for. Also look for other ways to reward them for good behavior, such as giving them a sticker or letting them play with a favorite toy.
Create a home safety zone.
Carve out a private space in your home where your child can relax, feel secure, and be safe. This will involve organizing and setting boundaries in ways your child can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (colored tape marking areas that are off limits, labeling items in the house with pictures). You may also need to safety proof the house, particularly if your child is prone to tantrums or other self-injurious behaviors.
Tip 2: Find nonverbal ways to connect
Connecting with an autistic child can be challenging, but you don't need to talk—or even touch—in order to communicate and bond. You communicate by the way you look at your child, by the tone of your voice, your body language – and possibly the way you touch your child. Your child is also communicating with you, even if he or she never speaks. You just need to learn the language.
Look for nonverbal cues. If you are observant and aware, you can learn to pick up on the nonverbal cues that autistic children use to communicate.
Pay attention to the kinds of sounds they make, their facial expressions, and the gestures they use when they're tired, hungry, or want something.
Figure out the motivation behind the tantrum. It's only natural to feel upset when you are misunderstood or ignored, and it's no different for children with ASD. When children with ASD act out, it's often because you're not picking up on their nonverbal cues. Throwing a tantrum is their way of communicating their frustration and getting your attention.
[Read: Autism Behavior Problems]
Make time for fun. A child coping with ASD is still a child. For both autistic children and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Schedule playtime when your child is most alert and awake. Figure out ways to have fun together by thinking about the things that make your child smile, laugh, and come out of her/his shell. Your child is likely to enjoy these activities most if they don't seem therapeutic or educational.
There are tremendous benefits that result from your enjoyment of your child's company and from your child's enjoyment of spending unpressured time with you. Play is an essential part of learning for all children and shouldn't feel like work.
Pay attention to your child's sensory sensitivities. Many children with ASD are hypersensitive to light, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Some children with autism are “under-sensitive” to sensory stimuli. Figure out what sights, sounds, smells, movements, and tactile sensations trigger your kid's “bad” or disruptive behaviors and what elicits a positive response. What does your child find stressful? Calming? Uncomfortable? Enjoyable? If you understand what affects your child, you'll be better at troubleshooting problems, preventing situations that cause difficulties, and creating successful experiences.
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Tip 3: Create a personalized autism treatment plan
With so many different treatments available, it can be tough to figure out which approach is right for your child. Making things more complicated, you may hear different or even conflicting recommendations from parents, teachers, and doctors.
When putting together a treatment plan for your child, keep in mind that there is no single treatment that works for everyone. Each person on the autism spectrum is unique, with different strengths and weaknesses.
Your child's treatment should be tailored according to their individual needs. You know your child best, so it's up to you to make sure those needs are being met. You can do that by asking yourself the following questions:
What are my child's strengths – and their weaknesses?
What behaviors are causing the most problems? What important skills is my child lacking?
How does my child learn best – through seeing, listening, or doing?
What does my child enjoy – and how can those activities be used in treatment and to bolster learning?
Finally, keep in mind that no matter what treatment plan is chosen, your involvement is vital to success.
You can help your child get the most out of treatment by working hand-in-hand with the treatment team and following through with the therapy at home. (This is why your well-being is essential!)
A good treatment plan will:
- Build on your child's interests.
- Offer a predictable schedule.
- Teach tasks as a series of simple steps.
- Actively engage your child's attention in highly structured activities.
- Provide regular reinforcement of behavior.
- Involve the parents.
Tip 4: Find help and support
Caring for a child with autism can demand a lot of energy and time. There may be days when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or discouraged. Parenting isn't ever easy, and raising a child with special needs is even more challenging. In order to be the best parent you can be, it's essential that you take care of yourself.
Don't try to do everything on your own. You don't have to! There are many places that families of children with ASD can turn to for advice, a helping hand, advocacy, and support:
ADS support groups – Joining an ASD support group is a great way to meet other families dealing with the same challenges you are.
Parents can share information, get advice, and lean on each other for emotional support. Just being around others in the same boat and sharing their experience can go a long way toward reducing the isolation many parents feel after receiving a child's diagnosis.
Respite care – Every parent needs a break now and again. And for parents coping with the added stress of ASD, this is especially true. In respite care, another caregiver takes over temporarily, giving you a break for a few hours, days, or even weeks.
[Read: Respite Care]
Individual, marital, or family counseling – If stress, anxiety, or depression is getting to you, you may want to see a therapist of your own. Therapy is a safe place where you can talk honestly about everything you're feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Marriage or family therapy can also help you work out problems that the challenges of life with an autistic child are causing in your spousal relationship or with other family members.
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Free U.S. government services for children with autism
Under the U.S. federal law known as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), children with disabilities—including those with ASD—are eligible for a range of free or low-cost services. Under this provision, children in need and their families may receive medical evaluations, psychological services, speech therapy, physical therapy, parent counseling and training, assisted technology devices, and other specialized services.
Children under the age of 10 do not need an autism diagnosis to receive free services under IDEA.
If they are experiencing a developmental delay (including delays in communication or social development), they are automatically eligible for early intervention and special education services.
Early intervention services (birth through age two)
Infants and toddlers through the age of two receive assistance through the Early Intervention program. In order to qualify, your child must first undergo a free evaluation. If the assessment reveals a developmental problem, you will work with early intervention treatment providers to develop an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP). An IFSP describes your child's needs and the specific services he or she will receive.
For autism, an IFSP would include a variety of behavior, physical, speech, and play therapies. It would focus on preparing autistic kids for the eventual transition to school. Early intervention services are typically conducted in the home or at a child care center.
To locate local early intervention services for your child, ask your pediatrician for a referral or use the resources listed in the Resources section at the end of the article.
Special education services (age three and older)
Children over the age of three receive assistance through school-based programs. As with early intervention, special education services are tailored to your child's individual needs. Autistic children are often placed with other developmentally delayed kids in small groups where they can receive more individual attention and specialized instruction. However, depending on their abilities, they may also spend at least part of the school day in a regular classroom. The goal is to place kids in the “least restrictive environment” possible where they are still able to learn.
If you'd like to pursue special education services, your local school system will first need to evaluate your child. Based on this assessment, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) will be drafted. An IEP outlines the educational goals for your child for the school year. Additionally, it describes the special services or supports the school will provide your child in order to meet those goals.
Caring for a child with autism when you are autistic
Research indicates that there is a genetic component to autism. However, many parents only discover they’re autistic when they research and obtain a formal diagnosis for their own child. If you’re autistic, you might face unique challenges when it comes to raising children who are also neurodivergent. Here are a few tips that may help:
Don’t hide your identity. Let your child get to know the real you. If you have certain quirks, such as repetitive behaviors or unusual body movements, don’t feel pressured to mask them in front of your child. By being yourself, you’re encouraging your autistic child to be themselves around you and creating an opportunity to bond over your similarities. You can also talk with your child about how neurotypical individuals may react to your behaviors and how to handle negative reactions. Aim to offer the type of guidance you could’ve used when you were young.
Remember to care for yourself.
Caring for a child can be challenging if you struggle with sensory needs or require a highly structured lifestyle. For example, if you’re sensitive to sounds, a crying child may be a constant source of stress and discomfort. A child’s sudden tantrums can make it hard for you to stick to a consistent schedule, creating further frustration. To protect your own sense of well-being, it’s important for you to adopt coping habits that help reduce your stress in these types of situations.
[Read: Autism in Adults: Recognizing the Signs, Living with a Diagnosis]
If certain tasks seem overwhelming, look to other people for support. For example, if communicating with doctors and teachers poses a challenge, a parenting mentor or other parents with autism might be able to help you come up with solutions.
Build on your strengths. Everyone has specific strengths, and you’re no exception. Consider how your skills and talents can help you establish a supportive household for your child.
Do you excel at visual thinking or design? Create educational posters for your child. Are you able to focus for long periods of time? Use that focus to research and study up on parenting practices and coping strategies. Are you good at problem-solving? Use your creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to overcome challenges around the house.
Be patient with yourself and your child. Be willing to accept that you both have plenty of time to grow and learn. You might experience some setbacks. Perhaps, you lose your temper and feel ashamed by your reaction. Or maybe your child has a hard time fitting in with peers when they start school. Resolve to learn from bad experiences and find solutions, even if you have to make multiple attempts. When one of you does make progress, remember to acknowledge the growth. Offer your child praise and celebrate your personal successes as well.
Authors: Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Ted Hutman, Ph.
D.
Ted Hutman, Ph.D. is Assistant Clinical Professor in Psychiatry at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA and a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Santa Monica, CA.
- References
Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. American Psychiatric Association. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787.x01_Neurodevelopmental_Disorders
Autism spectrum disorder: MedlinePlus Genetics. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/condition/autism-spectrum-disorder/
Autistic children may inherit DNA mutations from their fathers | Science | AAAS. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.
science.org/content/article/autistic-children-may-inherit-dna-mutations-their-fathersFive Tips for Autistic Parents from This Autistic Parent – The Asperger / Autism Network (AANE). (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.aane.org/five-tips-for-autistic-parents-from-this-autistic-parent/
Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (ACT). (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/advocacy/education/idea
Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) Services | CDC. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/cp/treatment.html
Sensory differences—A guide for all audiences. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/sensory-differences/sensory-differences/all-audiences
The Autism Revolution – Whole body strategies for making life all it can be (Harvard Health Books)
Living with Autism – Including how to cope with stress on the family, make the home safe, and deal with sibling issues.
(Autism Society of America)
Life Journey Through Autism: A Parent's Guide to Research (PDF) – Guide to choosing treatments for your children. (Organization for Autism Research)
Parent Guide to IDEA – Guide to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) in the U.S. (National Center for Learning Disabilities)
Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) – Learn all about IEPs in the U.S. for kids with autism and other developmental issues. (KidsHealth)
How is Autism Treated? – Therapies and treatments. (Autism Speaks)
Hotlines and support
In the U.S.: Call the Autism Society National Helpline at 1-800-328-8476.
UK: Call the Child Autism UK helpline at 01344 882248 or find help and support at The National Autistic Society.
Australia: Call the Early Intervention helpdesk in Perth at 1800 778 581 or Get support for your child from NDIS.
Canada: Call the Autism Canada Family Support Representative at 1-800-983-1795.
New Zealand: Find helplines and support in your area at Autism New Zealand.
Last updated: November 1, 2022
10 ways a parent can help their autistic child
September 4, 2018
This is a post by Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty, mother to two sons on the autism spectrum and an Autism Family Partner at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). Kim is also the author of a blog about her two children with autism, at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com.
It seems impossible, but somehow you’ve crossed everything off your initial to-do list, and your son or daughter is set. Maybe he is now firmly ensconced in an Early Intervention program, and you’ve already booked the eight million school evaluations required to get him into a pre-school program. Perhaps your daughter is older and has just entered a classroom, spent a few weeks there and is doing well. You’ve dotted your I’s and crossed your T’s, and for once there’s no phone call to make, no appointment to schedule.
You’ve gotten the help your child needs.
And perhaps as you’re enjoying a latte (which I hope you are, you deserve it), you wonder what’s next.
First of all, make sure you savor the moment. Take the time to celebrate your successful navigation of your state’s Early Intervention system or your school district’s IEP team, and give yourself about twenty hugs and buy yourself a little something fun.
Then take a deep breath, gird your loins, and move on to the next phase of your life with an autistic child.
I remember being at that phase, with my eldest son who is severely autistic being enrolled at three-and-a-half in a full day pre-school program and pregnant with my second child. While part of me wanted desperately to sit in bed all day and watch “Sex and the City” re-runs, I knew there was still a lot to do that I’d put off while trying to get the appropriate services for my child and dealing with our move to a new state. Here are ten things I did (or wish I’d done) after the ink dried on my son’s IEP.
- No matter how exhausted you are, get your child out in the community. It was a struggle with us with Justin (I have the tiny little bitemarks on my body to prove it) but getting him out so he could have a repertoire of leisure activities was crucial to his happiness and to our family’s. It set him up for a lifetime of being able to try different things, which will set him in good stead when I’m no longer here to take him places. Yes, I’m always planning.
- If you haven’t already done so, join a parent group and/or your school district’s special education PTA. You will make invaluable connections at both. Try to find parents of kids with your kid’s level of autism as you’re making friends. These people will be a wealth of information for you and a lifeline.
- If you can afford it, hire an advocate to check out your child’s school program. A fresh set of eyes may see areas that need to improve, or may reassure you that they are doing all they can for your son or daughter.
It’s always good to know one in case you need an advocate at an IEP meeting. If you’ve already met you won’t be scrambling to find one. - If possible, volunteer at school functions or offer to be a class mom. This is a great way to get to know your child’s teacher and your school’s administrators better. You may also make friends with other parents too.
- No matter how difficult your child can be, take any offer of babysitting you can and get out. You need a night off from autism once in a while. Even if it’s for a few hours, a break will help.
- Now that your child’s program is set tackle the big issues one at a time- perhaps it’s sleeping, or eating, or potty training. If your child is in a private school there may be a BCBA on staff who can help you. If not and you can afford it, consider hiring a BCBA from an agency. Pick an issue and prioritize.
- Educate your friends and family as to what’s going on in your household. Perhaps you’ve been too tired up to this point to talk to people not in the “tribe” about what raising an autistic child is really like.
It’s time to tell them and ask for the support you need, even if it’s just an ear to listen. My husband and I kept too much to ourselves, and if I could go back in time I’d be more open with everyone in our lives. - Make those doctor appointments for yourself that you’ve been putting off. Just do it.
- Get involved in an autism walk in your community. It is so powerful to meet so many families like (and unlike) yours. It will give you strength.
- I can’t stress this one enough- take care of yourself, not just your kid. Autism is a marathon, not a sprint. You owe it to yourself and your child to be whole, healthy, and happy. Do whatever it takes to get there.
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Autism Speaks does not provide medical or legal advice or services.
Rather, Autism Speaks provides general information about autism as a service to the community. The information provided on our website is not a recommendation, referral or endorsement of any resource, therapeutic method, or service provider and does not replace the advice of medical, legal or educational professionals. Autism Speaks has not validated and is not responsible for any information, events, or services provided by third parties. The views and opinions expressed in blogs on our website do not necessarily reflect the views of Autism Speaks.
Autism: what can parents do to help their child?
The first 2-3 years are especially difficult for a couple who have had their first child. Young mothers and fathers are still learning to be parents, and it is quite difficult to understand that the development of their child is different from others. It's even harder to accept that your baby may have a mental disorder. Childhood autism, or as it is now also called, autism spectrum disorders (ASD), today occurs in every 88th child.
How to recognize the disease and what should parents pay attention to? These and other questions related to autism were answered by the Head of the Department of Psychiatry and Narcology, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Associate Professor Grechany Severin Vyacheslavovich.
What is autism? Is this disease born or is it an acquired condition in the environment in which the child grows up?
Childhood autism is a congenital disease. The fact of its occurrence cannot be the result of such external causes as, for example, the social or cultural level of the family. The decisive role is played by the biological factor that determines the birth of such a child. Of course, there are external circumstances that, ceteris paribus, provoke the appearance of symptoms of this disorder - a severe viral infection, in some cases even a sharp change in the family situation, for example, a sudden separation from the mother, hospitalization of the child in the hospital and more.
Often an autistic child is the firstborn in the family, and parents do not yet know how the child should develop. Subsequently, they recall that they often thought about why their child did not develop like other children, but still they did not suspect serious deviations. Therefore, this day - April 2 - just calls for adults to take a closer look at the child in general and notice any anomalies in his development as early as possible. And whether this is autism or some other disease - this should be decided by the doctor.
How can parents tell if their child has the condition?
Unfortunately, often parents do not immediately pay attention to the atypical, age-specific behavior of their child. This circumstance gave rise to some myths that autism can occur with the wrong parenting approach or after some medical interventions, including preventive vaccinations. This cannot be believed, since childhood autism also goes through a latent phase in its development, when its symptoms are almost imperceptible, but this does not mean that it was not there from birth.
However, you need to know the so-called "red flags of autism", with the manifestation of which it is worth contacting a specialist. These include:
- child does not use pointing gesture,
- does not make eye contact, does not smile in response to a smile,
- does not respond to his name or to requests addressed to him,
- does not hear speech, does not understand why adults turn to him,
- does not say a 2-word phrase by age 2,
- does not use toys for its intended purpose.
Often the child does not develop a plot game. For example, a car for a boy is not an image of a car that he saw on the street, but only wheels that can be turned. With the help of a toy, a child cannot reproduce the plot seen in life. In the same way, for a girl, a doll is not an image of a little man whom she can put to sleep or feed, but an indifferent object with moving parts. It is also worth paying attention to how the child communicates, whether he can follow the simple instructions of an adult, and concentrate his attention.
If parents notice these features, then you need to see a doctor.
Is it possible to cure autism or only bring adaptation to life to a certain level? Which doctor to contact in this case?
Any specialist can suspect autism. Suppose the district pediatrician assumes that the child has autism and advises parents to contact a psychiatrist. However, it is important to understand that the final diagnosis may differ from the initial one, and there are other mental disorders besides childhood autism at an early age.
Is child autism treated at the Pediatric University Clinic?
We don’t have a separate department yet, besides, working with an autistic child is a long-term, often many-year work of a large team of different specialists, including not only doctors, but also correctional teachers, clinical psychologists and their varieties, rehabilitation specialists etc. However, we consult such children and their mothers at the stage of early diagnosis, when parents, for various reasons, are not yet ready to go to official psychiatric institutions.
Thus, difficult and doubtful diagnostic cases are solved, the very first recommendations are given. For example, I receive at the Multidisciplinary Center, Vera Vladimirovna Pozdnyak takes at the Consultative and Diagnostic Center. We provide primary care to these children. We give advice on how to treat a possible disease in a child, how to behave with such children and what options for drug therapy exist. Most moms walk away grateful as they get answers to questions that have haunted them for a long time.
As far as treatment is concerned, we do not provide it. In addition, parents, faced with the problem of autism, must understand that it is impossible to completely cure it, and they will have to accept that throughout their life the child will be special, unlike all others. There has never been such a case that the same classic autism ended in complete adaptation in society, even if the child at some stage was able to master the profession. Although it is believed that with age the diagnosis of "autism" cannot be reconsidered for a child, but most of the actual "autistic" traits disappear on their own over time.
And already at the age of 6-7, other problems related to behavior, underdevelopment of abstract concepts, misunderstanding of the context of communication, i.e. purely intellectual difficulties, come to the fore. In the future, parents will need to adapt the child to life with what is, including special requirements for the learning process. At home, you should also follow a special system of rules developed individually for a particular child.
How can parents help their child cope with autism? Can you give any recommendations for them?
The most important recommendation, from our point of view, is to initially understand the child's capabilities, not to do too much and not to set too high goals. The biggest conflict arises precisely when parents are faced with a contradiction between the real abilities of the child and their own ambitions for him. And everything negative that can happen later - protests, disobedience, experiencing disappointment and despair - all this comes precisely from this conflict.
The main principle for parents is to gain a sense of confidence as a caregiver and get rid of excessive feelings of guilt. You need to know that an autistic child is very sensitive to the internal state of his parents, easily reacts to their anxiety, confusion. With regard to mental development, one should be prepared for the fact that it will take a long time to achieve success, even small ones. It does not happen that a child falls asleep with one person and wakes up with another person.
Another common mistake is the opinion that the most important thing for a child is to learn to talk. This is not true. If speech does not appear on its own, then there are objective reasons for this. As soon as the prerequisites for pronouncing words are formed, the child will begin to speak independently without our help. Therefore, you should not artificially try to accelerate the development of such a child.
Is it possible to say that modern communication devices, computers, gadgets, mobile phones can develop autism in a child? And do they somehow affect children who have already been diagnosed with this disease? (Can modern technology help to socialize or, on the contrary, contribute to the fact that the child withdraws more and more into himself?)
In autism, this is neither good nor bad.
There can be no universal recommendation here, everything is individual. It is important for a mother to understand whether her child is now ready to master society or whether she still needs to wait, subsequently carefully “grafting” him to life. Here the advice of a defectologist, a psychiatrist will help. True, very often the mothers of such children are guided only by their own opinion, without accepting someone else's help. This happens if their relatives betrayed them, the father left, the grandparents did not accept the child, and the mother is left alone with the problem.
Why is autism thought to be more common in boys? And why is it more characteristic of them?
Indeed, this is a fundamental fact. And childhood autism is not the only example. A lot of mental disorders occur more often in boys. Why this is so is hard to say. There are many hypotheses for this, but an exhaustive explanation has not yet been received.
Maybe there is some relationship between the mother's condition during pregnancy and the child's subsequently diagnosed autistic disorder? Is it possible to somehow predict the birth of a child with autism? What are the medical reasons?
Mothers often ask me: “Tell me, please, where, at what stage did I make a mistake? What did I do wrong? Unfortunately, despite the fact that we live in the 21st century, there are no prerequisites to predict the birth of such a child.
With the exception of the examination of the amniotic fluid for gross genetic anomalies. If this is observed, then we can say with a high degree of probability that a clinical picture of autism should be expected here. In all other cases, it is difficult to predict anything. There is no data for this.
Is it true that autism is more common in children today than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago?
It is believed that the number of children with autism has not increased, diagnosis has improved. This happened due to the spread of information about autism and its manifestations. As a result, parents began to pay more attention to what they had not noticed before. And, as a result, the number of visits to doctors for the purpose of making a diagnosis has increased. What used to cause confusion and misunderstanding in parents, now prompts a search for answers in specialized literature, the Internet. As a result, the symptoms of autism began to be detected more often and at an earlier age.
And here there is another extreme - the emerging trend towards overdiagnosis of this disorder. A special term has even appeared - autism spectrum disorders, the role of which is seen in drawing more attention of parents to any symptoms of deviant development, closely or remotely resembling childhood autism, in order to promptly apply for practical assistance.
Can an autistic child go to a regular school, or is it better to send him to a special school?
There are inclusive types of education that allow such children to study in a regular school. A group of 3-4 such children is recruited, and most of the time they study with a separate teacher. Periodically, the teacher selectively leads, as far as possible, such children to classes with healthy children. But the need for such classes must be considered individually. All possible consequences should be taken into account. For example, in practice, children with autism are not very physically healthy, they are characterized by weak immunity - this increases their risk of getting respiratory and other infectious diseases, which usually occur in a more severe form in children with autism.
After all, even under normal conditions, autistic children get sick more often than other children. In addition, education in a mass school is possible if there is a special assistant or tutor nearby, a person who guides the child in each specific case and tells him what to do. Often such children, being in mass education, do not follow the school curriculum, but only formally attend the lessons. But what he will learn as a result is a separate question. More often it is a kind of “familiarization” with educational material. And in this situation, we have no right to demand that the child master the entire program. However, one should not forget that traditional defectological assistance in the conditions of ordinary correctional kindergartens and schools has great potential in terms of filling cognitive deficits, and the passage of inclusive education still does not eliminate the need to acquire specialized skills using routine correction methods.
Whatever problems parents face on the difficult path of upbringing, it is important to remember that parental love is important at any stage of growing up. 06/13/16 Many autistic children have problems with excessive dependence on adults and lack of initiative when interacting with people Author: Tameika Meadows specialties Parents of children with special needs learn a lot of "and". They are the interpreters of their child, and his refuge, and those who "explain" his behavior to others, and waiters with cooks, and so on. Small and non-speaking children with developmental disabilities really constantly need the help of those who know the child well and can become an intermediary in his interaction with other people. Mom and dad are the kind of people who know that stripping in public means "I need to go to the toilet" and throwing a bottle means "More please." This is a natural and important stage in the relationship between parents and child. However, there comes a time when the natural desire of loving parents to intervene and make life easier for the child becomes an obstacle to his learning and development. As with teaching prompts, "mind reading" weakens the child's motivation to communicate with others. That's the way the behavior works. We are all human, and we all tend to choose the easiest option. When I work with children, I often see a situation where it is obvious that although parents adore and love their child, they make life TOO MUCH easier for him. For example, a mother explains to me that she wants the child to become more independent, and at the same time she spoon-feeds her four-year-old son. I understand that such active intervention in a child's life is dictated only by love, and that this is a reaction of parents to serious violations in the child's development. However, there comes a time when both parents and professionals must take a step back and force the child to behave more independently. All children in certain situations can be proactive or reactive. Our task is to make the child more and more proactive, and less and less reactive. Here are a few examples to illustrate the difference: - The child is hungry, so he is looking for an adult and asks him. For example, he says: “I want cookies.” - The child is bored so he turns on the TV and sits down to watch it. - Dad forgets to pour juice for his child during meals. The child makes eye contact with dad and points to the refrigerator as a request for juice. - The child is hungry, so he starts crying and expressing his annoyance with unwanted behavior. After some time, someone guesses that the child may be hungry. - The child is bored, so he goes after mom or dad and asks for pens. Further entertainment of the child depends on the parents. - Dad forgets to pour juice for the child during meals. The child begins to cry bitterly and refuses to eat. In the latter case, the child depends on other people, or he communicates his needs through unwanted behavior. These children rely on adults to read their minds and identify their needs. Very often, this leads to a game I like to call "Guess what I want!", where mom or dad is desperately trying to figure out what will make the child stop crying or other problematic behavior. The initiating child will either try to satisfy his needs on his own, or he will turn to an adult for help. The child is able to use verbal or non-verbal means of communication that will be understood by different people, and not just parents. When teaching a child with autism, it is important to always aim for more than the child's current skill level. A common example of proactive or reactive behavior I see during toilet training. Very often parents tell me that their child is fully toilet trained. When I ask how a child wants to go to the toilet, the parents answer: “I don’t know” or “We just understand it”, and no ... such a child is not fully toilet trained. If the child just gets up and goes to the toilet, then what to do in public places? How can your child tell you to go to the bathroom when you are at the mall? If you left your child with a new nanny, will she be able to tell when he wants to go to the toilet? Toilet skills include the ability to communicate to adults about the need to go to the toilet, as well as to ask to use the toilet in an unfamiliar place. Helping your child move from reactive to proactive behavior will help them become more independent. The ability to initiate interaction is a critical skill for success in school, in peer groups, and almost everywhere in life. Don't be afraid to be independent: I understand that it's scary to let a three-year-old child use a knife himself, and it's scary to teach a six-year-old to unfasten a seat belt in a car. But you can encourage independence within reason and in safe situations. Just because your son can unfasten his seatbelt doesn't mean he can do it while the car is in motion. Along with independence, teach your child boundaries and rules. Play dumb: This is the easiest way to gradually decrease the level of help and prompting for your child. When a child comes to you crying and with outstretched arms, look at him puzzled and act as if you do not understand what he needs. Depending on the child's skills, prompt him to make a verbal request, use PECS, pointing, and so on. For example, require the child to say "up" before you pick him up. Crying, pant tugging, or kicking your leg should not be encouraged. Take your time: Parents often tell me that it is easier for them to dress, wash or feed their child. I understand that this is easier and faster, but in the long run it makes the child too dependent on you. Accept that sometimes you will be late. Yes, you may have to wait 35 minutes for the child to put on a shirt, or you may have to wait for a whole row while the child brushes his teeth. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices that will pay off in the future. Start small, like giving your child a plate, a spoon, but not a box of cereal. Using your child's level of communication, tell them how to ask for cereal. Even if you spend 15 minutes more on breakfast as a result, in the end, you will teach your child to take the initiative. Let the teacher know that you are working on getting yourself to school in the morning, and therefore your child may be a little late for a few days. Wait: It's not just the parents who have problems with this, I also often make this mistake. Sometimes we want a child to be successful so badly that we step in and provide a hint. The problem is that this can lead to dependency on hints, and this hinders the development of initiative. The next time you ask your child to do something, try waiting 10-20 seconds. I know it seems like an eternity, but some children with autism have problems with hearing information, so they need time to understand what you said and decide on a course of action before you fulfill your request. I'm not suggesting you do this all the time, but it's important that you don't get in the habit of jumping in to help your child. If you just told your daughter to tie her shoelaces, then sit next to her and wait 15 seconds before giving any prompt. See what she will do. She sits and looks at the shoes or tries to put them on. Perhaps she even glances at you and stretches out her hand to you, asking for help.
How to help a child with autism become more independent?
Source: I Love ABA 
I have never met parents who would like their children to be more dependent on them ... usually it's just the opposite. And the first step in encouraging a child's independence is to analyze your own behavior and understand when your helping a child is excessive. Initiative child
Reactive child
Depending on what the child is currently capable of, there is always a way to help the child become more independent in regards to that skill. 
Here are some helpful tips on how to make life difficult for your child with autism: 
Stop guessing the child's needs and satisfy them, pretend that you do not understand what he wants, so that he was motivated to try another way. 
