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What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?

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As a parent, one of your jobs to teach your child to behave. It's a job that takes time and patience. But, it helps to learn the effective and healthy discipline strategies.

Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on the best ways to help your child learn acceptable behavior as they grow.

10 healthy discipline strategies that work

The AAP recommends positive discipline strategies that effectively teach children to manage their behavior and keep them from harm while promoting healthy development. These include:

1. Show and tell. Teach children right from wrong with calm words and actions. Model behaviors you would like to see in your children.

2. Set limits. Have clear and consistent rules your children can follow. Be sure to explain these rules in age-appropriate terms they can understand.

3. Give consequences. Calmly and firmly explain the consequences if they don't behave. For example, tell her that if she does not pick up her toys, you will put them away for the rest of the day. Be prepared to follow through right away. Don't give in by giving them back after a few minutes. But remember, never take away something your child truly needs, such as a meal.

4. Hear them out. Listening is important. Let your child finish the story before helping solve the problem. Watch for times when misbehavior has a pattern, like if your child is feeling jealous. Talk with your child about this rather than just giving consequences.

5. Give them your attention. The most powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce good behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children want their parent's attention.

6. Catch them being good. Children need to know when they do something bad--and when they do something good. Notice good behavior and point it out, praising success and good tries. Be specific (for example, "Wow, you did a good job putting that toy away!").

7. Know when not to respond. As long as your child isn't doing something dangerous and gets plenty of attention for good behavior, ignoring bad behavior can be an effective way of stopping it. Ignoring bad behavior can also teach children natural consequences of their actions. For example, if your child keeps dropping her cookies on purpose, she will soon have no more cookies left to eat. If she throws and breaks her toy, she will not be able to play with it. It will not be long before she learns not to drop her cookies and to play carefully with her toys.

8. Be prepared for trouble. Plan ahead for situations when your child might have trouble behaving. Prepare them for upcoming activities and how you want them to behave.

9. Redirect bad behavior. Sometimes children misbehave because they are bored or don't know any better. Find something else for your child to do.

10. Call a time-out. A time-out can be especially useful when a specific rule is broken. This discipline tool works best by warning children they will get a time out if they don't stop, reminding them what they did wrong in as few words―and with as little emotion―as possible, and removing them from the situation for a pre-set length of time (1 minute per year of age is a good rule of thumb). With children who are at least 3 years old, you can try letting their children lead their own time-out instead of setting a timer. You can just say, "Go to time out and come back when you feel ready and in control." This strategy, which can help the child learn and practice self-management skills, also works well for older children and teens.

Spanking and harsh words are harmful and don't work. Here's why:

The AAP policy statement, "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," highlights why it's important to focus on teaching good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior. Research shows that spanking, slapping and other forms of physical punishment don't work well to correct a child's behavior. The same holds true for yelling at or shaming a child. Beyond being ineffective, harsh physical and verbal punishments can also damage a child's long-term physical and mental health.

• Spanking's unhealthy cycle. The AAP advises that parents and caregivers should not spank or hit children. Instead of teaching responsibility and self-control, spanking often increases aggression and anger in children. A study of children born in 20 large U.S. cities found that families who used physical punishment got caught in a negative cycle: the more children were spanked, the more they later misbehaved, which prompted more spankings in response. Spanking's effects may also be felt beyond the parent-child relationship. Because it teaches that causing someone pain is OK if you're frustrated—even with those you love. Children who are spanked may be more likely to hit others when they don't get what they want.
• Lasting marks. Physical punishment increases the risk of injury, especially in children under 18 months of age, and may leave other measurable marks on the brain and body. Children who are spanked show higher levels of hormones tied to toxic stress. Physical punishment may also affect brain development. One study found that young adults who were spanked repeatedly had less gray matter, the part of the brain involved with self-control, and performed lower on IQ tests as young adults than the control group.
• Verbal abuse: How words hurt. Yelling at children and using words to cause emotional pain or shame also has been found to be ineffective and harmful. Harsh verbal discipline, even by parents who are otherwise warm and loving, can lead to more misbehavior and mental health problems in children. Research shows that harsh verbal discipline, which becomes more common as children get older, may lead to more behavior problems and symptoms of depression in teens.
  

Learn from mistakes—including your own

Remember that, as a parent, you can give yourself a time out if you feel out of control. Just make sure your child is in a safe place, and then give yourself a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, relax or call a friend. When you are feeling better, go back to your child, hug each other, and start over.

If you do not handle a situation well the first time, try not to worry about it. Think about what you could have done differently and try to do it the next time. If you feel you have made a real mistake in the heat of the moment, wait to cool down, apologize to your child, and explain how you will handle the situation in the future. Be sure to keep your promise. This gives your child a good model of how to recover from mistakes.

Healthy & effective discipline tips by age/stage

More information

• 15 Tips to Survive the Terrible 3's
• How to Shape and Manage Your Young Child's Behavior
• Disciplining Older Children
• How to Give a Time-Out
• Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children (AAP Policy Statement)

Last Updated

11/5/2018

Source

American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)

The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

How to discipline your child the smart and healthy way

There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper. No parent wants to find themselves in such a situation and the bottom line is that shouting and physical violence never help.

Thankfully, there are other, more effective ways and one of them is positive discipline. We consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.

There are no bad children, only bad behaviour.

“Parents don't want to shout or hit their kids. We do it because we're stressed and don't see another way,” says Professor Cluver.

The evidence is clear: shouting and hitting simply do not work and can do more harm than good in the long run. Repeated shouting and hitting can even adversely impact a child’s entire life. The continued “toxic stress” it creates can lead to a host of negative outcomes like higher chances of school dropout, depression, drug use, suicide and heart disease.

“It’s like saying: here's this medicine, it's not going to help you and it's going to make you sick,” says Professor Cluver. “When we know something doesn't work, that's a pretty good reason to look for a different approach.”

Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:

One-on-one time is important for building any good relationship and even more so with your children. “It can be 20 minutes a day. Or even 5 minutes. You can combine it with something like washing dishes together while you sing a song or chatting while you're hanging out the washing,” says Professor Cluver. “What's really important is that you focus on your child. So, you turn your TV off, you turn your phone off, you get to their level and it's you and them.”

As parents we often focus on our children’s bad behaviour and call it out. Children may read this as a way to get your attention, perpetuating poor conduct rather than putting a stop to it.

Children thrive on praise. It makes them feel loved and special. “Watch out for when they're doing something good and praise them, even if that thing is just playing for five minutes with their sibling,” recommends Professor Cluver. “This can encourage good behaviour and reduce the need for discipline.”

“Telling your child exactly what you want them to do is much more effective than telling them what not to do,” says Professor Cluver. “When you ask a child to not make a mess, or to be good, they don't necessarily understand what they're required to do.” Clear instructions like “Please pick up all of your toys and put them in the box” set a clear expectation and increase the likelihood that they'll do what you’re asking.

“But it's important to set realistic expectations. Asking them to stay quiet for a whole day may not be as manageable as asking for 10 minutes of quiet time while you have a phone call,” says Professor Cluver. “You know what your child is capable of. But if you ask for the impossible, they are going to fail.”

When your child is being difficult, distracting them with a more positive activity can be a useful strategy says Professor Cluver. “When you distract them towards something else – by changing the topic, introducing a game, leading them into another room, or going for a walk, you can successfully divert their energy towards positive behaviour.”

Timing is also crucial. Distraction is also about spotting when things are about to go wrong and taking action. Being mindful of when your child is starting to become fidgety, irritable or annoyed, or when two siblings are eyeing the same toy, can help diffuse a potential situation before it becomes one.

Part of growing up is learning that if you do something, something can happen as a result. Defining this for your child is a simple process that encourages better behaviour while teaching them about responsibility.

Give your child a chance to do the right thing by explaining the consequences of their bad behaviour. As an example, if you want your child to stop scribbling on the walls, you can tell them to stop or else you will end their play time. This provides them with a warning and an opportunity to change their behaviour.

If they don’t stop, follow through with the consequences calmly and without showing anger, “and give yourself credit for that – it’s not easy!” adds Professor Cluver.

If they do stop, give them lots of praise for it, recommends Professor Cluver. “What you are doing is creating a positive feedback loop for your child. Calm consequences have been shown to be effective for kids to learn about what happens when they behave badly.”

Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”

One-on-one time can be fun – and it’s completely free! “You can copy their expressions, bang spoons against pots, or sing together,” adds Professor Cluver. “There’s amazing research showing that playing with your children boosts their brain development.”

Like younger children, teenagers seek praise and want to be thought of as good. One-on-one time is still important to them. “They love it if you dance around the room with them or engage in a conversation about their favourite singer,” says Professor Cluver. “They may not always show it, but they do. And, it's an effective way of building a relationship on their terms.”

While setting expectations, “ask them to help make some of the rules,” suggests Professor Cluver. “Sit them down and try to agree on the household dos and don'ts. They can also help decide what the consequences for unacceptable behaviour will be. Being involved in the process helps them know that you understand they're becoming their own independent beings.”

The pandemic has brought about sudden and drastic changes in the lives of families with parents directly in the middle of it. Here are some tips that can help parents get through these and any other stressful times:

We all know the stress when we feel our child is being difficult. At moments like these, being present and stepping back is a simple and useful tactic. Hit the “pause button”, as Professor Cluver calls it. “Take five deep breaths, slowly and carefully and you'll notice you are able to respond in a calmer, more considered way. Parents across the world say that just taking that pause is enormously helpful.”

Parents often forget to care for themselves, says Professor Cluver. “Take some time for yourself, such as when the kids are asleep, to do something that makes you feel happy and calm. It's really hard to do all the things right as a parent, when you haven't given yourself a break.”

It’s easy to forget the astonishing job you do as a parent every day and you should give yourself the credit, advises Professor Cluver. “Each day, maybe while brushing your teeth, take a moment to ask: ‘What was one thing I did really well with my kids today?’ And, just know that you did something great.”

“We might be in and out of isolation, but you are absolutely not alone,” she says. “Millions of parents across the world are all trying and we're all failing sometimes. And then we're trying again. We’ll survive this together.”

> Explore more COVID-19 parenting tips

How to talk to children correctly and understand what they really think - explains psychologist

Health

What phrases should you pay special attention to? What to do if you are bored once again discussing the same cartoon? How to make a mental map of a child? These and other questions are answered by a specialist in child and adolescent psychology with 20 years of experience, father of two children Nigel Latta. The publishing house "Piter" published his book for parents "Before your child drives you crazy."

If you don't want to get an ulcer or hypertension or die prematurely, learn how to talk to your children. Of course, all parents exchange a couple of phrases with their children, but I mean something else. We usually just say things to our kids from time to time (sometimes even scream when we're in a bad mood), but talking to kids is the key to a longer, healthier, less crazy life for all of you.

For many reasons, children really need loving and sympathetic parents who are able to fully communicate. We discussed some of these reasons in the previous chapter. The structure of the brain of children is formed depending on what they encounter in the world around them. I think you already understand this, but I have not yet said what is good for you.

All family conflicts and problems are based on a lack of communication.

Very often people would come to my office and shout at each other for hours. But at the same time, none of them even tried to hear something other than their own voice. If you are not ready to communicate with children, you doom yourself to many years of conflict. And if you think your little kids are behaving very badly, wait until they reach puberty. If the foundation on which the family is built has cracked for many years, then hard times await you. I have seen many such families and would not wish the enemy to be in their place. The pubertal period is already quite difficult due to physiology, you should not complicate it with inadequate communication.

One of the most important skills that children need to learn is the ability to manage their thoughts and feelings. Children have an abundance of both, and if they do not learn to control them, they are in for trouble. And it will be hard for you and the children themselves. So I ask you to listen to what I am talking about. This is hard-earned wisdom: if you want to stay sane, you need to have meaningful communication with your children. Otherwise, be prepared for years of stress, arguments, nerves and guilt. The law of the jungle is, "Eat or be eaten," and the law of the family is, "Communicate or expect trouble."

Sometimes they are boring

You probably feel like a bad parent when you are bored with your child. But trust me, you are not alone. I love my two boys like crazy, but sometimes they talk about such downright boring things that I want to punch myself in the face. The fact is that the world of children is much smaller than ours. They haven't done much and haven't seen much, so sometimes they get hung up on things that seem... umm, how to put it mildly... trivial to the point of stupidity.

Let me give you an example. At some point, my wife and I had to be banned from talking about SpongeBob * simply because we were literally sick of stories about him and could not listen to them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love that square yellow guy, but it's not funny at all when a six year old tongue-tiedly retells the same episode for the 227th time. The same situation was with the Lego Bionicle series. These are very cool toys, but they have become a real curse for us. My youngest son talked about Bionicle so much and in detail that they pushed out of my head the words necessary in my daily professional activities. When I spoke to the lawyer on the phone, I couldn't remember the word "complete." I just forgot it. But then I could tell this lawyer the story of the conflict between the Bionicle tribes - Glatorians and Scrolls, and also list the names of many other tribes ... but I could not remember the word "complete". Now talking about Bionicles is banned, because I am terribly afraid that because of them, there will simply be no useful words left in my head.

If you feel bored with your children from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that, it is normal. When you're bored, it's best to take a break and send the kids to play on their own.

"But, daddy," protested my youngest, when I tried to take a break from talking about the Bionicles for a few minutes, "Aren't you glad I know so much about the Bionicles?"

“Of course I'm glad,” I replied. “But what you know about them is enough for me. I don't have to know what you know, the assurance that you understand it is all I need to be happy. Any knowledge beyond this initial knowledge is beyond what I need to know. You know?"

He frowned, "What?"

"Go play, my monkey."

Luckily for both of us, that's exactly what he did.

The gift of listening

Okay, to be honest, there is no gift of listening. I came up with this so you read this section for sure. If I just wrote "listening skills", you would think: yes, I already know how to listen. But as soon as you come up with a more interesting name, like "The Gift of Listening", people immediately become interested in any topic. No one expects you to listen to absolutely everything your kids talk about. This is impossible, if only because they talk too much. Basically it's something terribly uninteresting or completely incomprehensible. Of course, the children themselves think that they are talking about something very important and interesting, but for adults their chatter sometimes seems like nonsense. No matter how hard you try to listen carefully, sooner or later you will notice that you nod at each of their phrases, automatically repeating something like: "Hmm . .. yes, yes ... of course ... good ... right."

If someone claims to listen to everything the kids say, he is either a big liar, or a lunatic, or, even worse, a mad liar.

But still try not to let your guard down. As children get older, they may ask you for permission to do things that you in your right mind would never approve of.

— Jimmy, where is your little sister?

- I gave it to Matthew in exchange for a skateboard.

— What? For heaven's sake, why did you do this? Is it possible?

— You yourself allowed it.

— No, I didn't.

- Allowed. I asked you: "Can I exchange?" - and you said "Hmm ... yes, yes ... of course." Have you forgotten?

Listening to children does not mean simply being silent while they are talking. Even the smallest child sees when a person is listening, and when he is simply silent. It is important to listen to children not only to know about their thoughts and desires. When we listen carefully to children, they understand that adults are interested and important in what children are talking about. By listening to children, you encourage them to develop communication skills. There are some secrets that will help you listen to your children.

• Give them your full attention. Look them in the eye and focus on what they are saying. Show interest with intonation Your intonation is very important and should match what you are saying. If you say, “Wow! How interesting!" bored voice, you will not deceive anyone.
• Use gestures and facial expressions. Use expressive gestures and feel free to express emotions. So the children will see that you are really interested and pleasant to communicate with them. Children love it when you wave your arms and make faces - try it and see how their eyes light up.
• Ask questions. Questions will show your interest and passion for the conversation. Children usually like to be asked questions. It's best to come up with questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no". For example, it's better to ask "What did you do at school today?" rather than "Did everything go well at school today?"
• Repeat what the children say. It is important not only to repeat their words after the children, but also to copy the feelings with which they pronounce them. You need to become a mirror for your children so that they can see themselves through your eyes.
• Praise the children for how they explain things. It is very important to show children that you like the way they speak and explain this or that situation in words. This way they will feel confident in their communication skills and will be better able to verbalize their feelings and thoughts in the future.

It is clear that you cannot do all this all the time. Perhaps this is not necessary, otherwise you would either have to die of exhaustion, or go crazy, or both. You don't have to listen all the time, but you have to listen for some time. It's good that those banal things they load us with - the adventures of SpongeBob, the genealogy of Bionicles, the ups and downs in the High School of Music series - are preparations for much more serious problems that await us in the future. In my experience, it's best to practice when the stakes are low, and then when it comes to more important things, you'll already learn to listen to your kids.

Find out their view of the world

We all perceive the world in our own way and communicate with others in different ways. Something is constantly happening around, and it is impossible to be aware of what is happening every second, so our brain perceives all information in accordance with certain patterns. This is something like a mental map of the world around us, which helps us choose how to act in a given situation. We refer to this map to navigate our way through countless events that require us to take action. A mental map gives the illusion of predictability, while everything around is unpredictable. However, it is important to realize that a mental map is a subjective perception of the world, and not the real world around. A mental map is a picture of the world created on the basis of our life experience. If from childhood you are used to the fact that no one pays attention to you when you are sad and ill, then in the future this will affect your relationships with others. As we learned from the previous chapter, the picture of the world in children begins to take shape almost from the moment of conception, and then this continues throughout life.

The main task of parents is to follow how children make their mental map of the world.

It should be as useful as possible to interact with the outside world. Have you ever wondered why your child almost always does this and almost never does otherwise? Most likely, this behavior is due to his mental map of the world. Some of the children are almost always looking for a workaround, others go ahead. Some want to study everything on their own, others do not leave their parents a single step. All of them are guided by a map of the world compiled in their heads.

You can learn about a child's world map, firstly, by listening to what they say about what is happening around, and secondly, by looking closely at how they behave. When children speak, they always show their view of the world. If you listen closely, you will hear something like this:

• Why am I afraid to go first?
• Why are you always so angry?
• Nobody plays with me.
• I like to share with others.
• I have funny friends.
• I read well.
• I hate reading.
• The teacher is evil.
• The teacher is kind, because she helps me.
• This is not fair.
• I can't, I have to do my homework first.
• This is bad.

All these phrases tell a lot about the attitude of the speaker. All of them will give you something to understand the world in which the child lives: something will please you, something will not. When you listen to children, pay special attention to what sounds like a rule, such as phrases that contain or suggest the words "always" and "never." Also focus on descriptions of other people, on phrases such as: "The teacher is good because she helps me." From this statement, we can conclude that it is good for a child to help others. Now analyze another phrase about the same teacher: "I hate the teacher because she keeps saying I'm wrong." It means that helping others is bad for a child. In general, listen to what sounds like a strong belief or rule that helps you make the right decision.

The phrase "No one wants to play with me" refers to the child's loneliness. In the future, he may withdraw even more into himself and move away from others.

You can also learn about the mental map of children just by watching them. When my oldest son was eight months old, I noticed that he was trying to climb up the stairs with a tenacity that any climber would envy. He didn't need help - he clearly wanted to overcome this obstacle on his own. That's when I thought this babbling baby would become very purposeful. I was not mistaken, he still acts just like that stubborn kid. In his case, such persistence is both a blessing and a curse. Thanks to his determination, he achieves a lot, but it is not easy for him. My task is to help him tweak the world map a little so that he finds the most convenient route.

If you look closely at your children, you will see that they follow some rules when:

• play with toys;
• draw;
• play with friends;
• trying to solve some problem;
• perform tasks;
• are facing something new;
• they succeed or fail.

Children's behavior at these moments will tell you how they perceive the world and how they are guided when making this or that decision. For example, if every time a child encounters something unusual, he freezes and does nothing, this indicates his self-doubt. So, he decides not to do anything, because he is afraid of making a mistake. And if a child is very upset and cries inconsolably because of mistakes, this suggests that he will have a hard time experiencing any defeat.

Fortunately, mental maps are easier to correct in childhood than in adulthood. They are drawn with a simple pencil, not ink.

Any settings that seem inappropriate to you (“No one loves me” or “I won't risk making a mistake”) can be erased and help the child draw a new card.

You cannot help children become happy and successful (whatever you mean by that) if you don't know how they see the world. Everyone looks at the world differently, and no one likes it when someone imposes their worldview on them. Neither adults nor children like it. If you are not feeling well and someone says, “What a fool, come on, cheer up, feel better,” then this is unlikely to work. Most likely, you will feel only irritation. The same thing happens with children. But if you understand how children look at the world, then you can at least try to help them survive some difficulties. But first you need to understand their picture of the world, and then act, starting from this.

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Author:

Katerina Reznikova, September 30, 2019

How to communicate with a child

HOW TO BE A GOOD ADUL

Today we are talking about the book “Communicate with a child. How? ”, The author is a professor of the psychology faculty of Moscow State University, a brilliant teacher and psychologist Yulia Borisovna Gippenreiter. This is one of her most popular books, and there are many others that are just as useful. “Communicate with the child. How?" - First of all, a guide to their own emotional maturity.

This is a story about how to be a good adult: with children, colleagues, employees, clients and family members. She helped I'm ten years older.

Unconditional acceptance

The first rule of communication between a parent and a child is to accept him as he is, without conditions or requirements. Child must live with the feeling that he is in any case loved, desired, valuable and dear, even if he entered not properly.

The wrong approach is conditional love based on the behavior of the child. When a child thinks he is bad and unloved because of his actions. Raising a child is not training. You can't just punish bad people here. behavior and encourage good. In any situation, the child should feel loved.

The child needs a constant message from a loved one: “When you are near, I feel good; I'm glad to see you; you to me like it." Conditional love destroys this emotional feed. This is the emotional foundation of a relationship. When there is unconditional love and confidence in each other, then it's easier.

Dissatisfaction

At the same time, it is possible and necessary to express dissatisfaction - but not by the child himself, but by his specific actions. Not "you're bad" and "you did badly", and even better "I feel bad about what you did. " The last one is the "I-message": it says about your feelings and does not evaluate the child himself. The child has a chance to independently make a conclusion about his behavior and correct it:

I feel ashamed when people turn their heads at us in the store

I am very tired and I am sad that now I have to wash the dishes

I find it difficult to talk when interrupted

NOT "YOU'RE BAD", AND "I AM BAD FROM WHAT YOU DID."

Active listening

Perhaps the main technique that parents should learn is active listening in difficult situations: when the child is sad, difficult or ill. The purpose of the technique is to let the child understand that in difficult times they hear him, to his the problem is not indifferent, it is understood. You will be surprised how often a child lacks just this, and how much can change if it appears.

To actively listen, you need to “return” to the child what he says, indicating feelings child:

— I don't want to do my homework!

- You find it unpleasant to study Russian

— No, there are just too many!

- Are you afraid not to be in time tomorrow

Looks weird at first. I just want to shout, advise, point out, joke or regret instead child. But these are phrases from the adult world, stimulating phrases, phrases of influence. A child in a difficult situation does not need stimulants: he probably already knows what to do. If he needed help, he would ask for help. He is looking for emotional support.

Active listening helps to get to the root of the problem. The child willingly makes contact when he understands that his hear. The tension is relieved, the child feels understood, and together you easily solve the problem.

What not to do in difficult times

a minute does not lead to anything good:

Orders (“Quickly got out!”, “So that I don’t hear this again!”) - cause the child to feel that the parents do not respect his independence and do not want to delve into the problem.

Threats and warnings (“If you don’t stop, I’ll leave”) are useless, when a child has an unpleasant experience. They just push him further into a corner.

Moral teachings (“Adults must be respected”) do not work in words, because the child learns values ​​and rules from the behavior of parents, and not from edification in difficult times. And if the child breaks the rules, then either he repeats after someone from home, or openly protests. And protest is the result of emotional stress.

Tips (“Try like this...”) — put the parent over the child and show him how inexperienced and stupid he is. If the child does not seek advice himself, it is better to keep your wisdom until the child is ready for it. Often, by the way, the child comes to everything on his own.

Logical arguments make mistakes") - they work great in proving the theorem, and in no way bring the child closer to emotional stability. At best, the child ceases to perceive such words.