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How to handle a child with asd


Tips for Parenting A Child With Autism

Written by Debra Fulghum Bruce, PhD

Medically Reviewed by Neha Pathak, MD on September 28, 2021

As a parent, you’ve probably spent a lot of time thinking about your child’s future. Even more so if they have an autism spectrum disorder, or ASD diagnosis.

Apart from the medical care and therapies that you may line up to help your son or daughter, there are simple, everyday things that make a difference.

Focus on the positive. Just like anyone else, children with autism spectrum disorder often respond well to positive reinforcement. That means when you praise them for the behaviors they’re doing well, it will make them (and you) feel good.

Be specific, so that they know exactly what you liked about their behavior. Find ways to reward them, either with extra playtime or a small prize like a sticker.

Also, as you would with anyone -- on the spectrum or not -- prize your child for who they are. As a parent, loving your child for who they are is key.

Stay consistent and on schedule. People on the spectrum like routines. Make sure they get consistent guidance and interaction, so they can practice what they learn from therapy.

This can make learning new skills and behaviors easier, and help them apply their knowledge in different situations. Talk to their teachers and therapists and try to align on a consistent set of techniques and methods of interaction so you can bring what they’re learning home.

Put play on the schedule. Finding activities that seem like pure fun, and not more education or therapy, may help your child open up and connect with you.

Give it time. You’ll likely try a lot of different techniques, treatments, and approaches as you figure out what’s best for your child. Stay positive and try not to get discouraged if they don’t respond well to a particular method.

Take your child along for everyday activities. If your child’s behavior is unpredictable, you may feel like it’s easier not to expose them to certain situations. But when you take them on everyday errands like grocery shopping or a post office run, it may help them get them used to the world around them.

Get support. Whether online or face-to-face, support from other families, professionals, and friends can be a big help. Create a village of friends and family who understand your child's diagnosis. Friendships may be difficult, and your child will need support in maintaining those friendships. Support groups can be a good way to share advice and information and to meet other parents dealing with similar challenges. Individual, marital, or family counseling can be helpful, too. Think about what might make your life a little easier, and ask for help.

Look into respite care. This is when another caregiver looks after your child -- inside your home, outside of it, or both -- for a period of time to give you a short break. You’ll need it, especially if your child has intense needs due to ASD. This can give you a chance to do things that restore your own health and that you enjoy, so that you come back home ready to help.

You can identify or form your respite support team using these methods:

  • Ask your friends, family, and other parents you know for support connections you might not have thought about.
  • Check with your child’s doctors, therapists, and teachers for ideas or referrals. For instance, a teacher’s aide you really like might enjoy babysitting in their free time.
  • You can also post notices for childcare help in newspapers and online, local religious communities, and at colleges and universities near you. Be sure to check all references carefully.
  • Join a support group for parents of autistic children. Find out what works for others. You can find self-help communities by calling a local autism support center or looking online.

Take care of yourself.  As a caregiver, you need to keep your body and your mind in tip-top shape so you can face the challenges that crop up from day to day. This means slowing down and looking for ways to take care of yourself so you’ll have plenty of you (physically, mentally, and emotionally) to go around.  

Cut your stress.  Parents of kids with ASD often face more stress than those who deal with other disabilities. If left unchecked, caregivers can face breakdowns in relationships and even psychological disorders. Stress can affect your health, too.  Stay organized to help yourself avoid getting overwhelmed. This means finding time in your day just for yourself. Some important and even fun ways to do that include:

  • Pinpoint the real causes of your stress. If you feel overwhelmed, break down the major issues you’re facing into easier bites. You’ll feel better, and you’ll have a plan.
  • Meditation may help, too. Pay attention to your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself. It’ll help you weed out useless worries.
  • Exercise. You don’t need to go to the gym. Walk, work in the garden, swim, even dance in the kitchen. These are easy, effective ways to get some exercise.
    • If you want some adult company, take an exercise class. It’s a great way to recharge your batteries and meet new people.
  • Get some ZZZs. When you need to recharge your body and mind, you can’t beat the power of a good night’s sleep. If you need extra help winding down, meditate or do relaxation exercises. That can help your body get ready for rest.
  • Get creative with your food. You likely spend lots of energy making sure your child eats nutritious meals. What about you? Spice up your personal menu by trying different fruits, veggies, and cuisines. Scope out new recipes to keep things interesting.  And eat on a set schedule each day. It’ll help you keep your energy up and your system on track.

Get balance in your life.  This is the key not only to facing life's challenges, but also keeping a high quality of life. Your whole family will benefit. Book time in your weekly calendar for fun and socializing. Try these tips to add balance to your busy days:

  • Find your friends. Yes, you’re the parent of a special-needs child. But you’re a person, too. Remembering that you have your own identity makes you a better parent. Take time to reconnect and laugh with your friends. You’ll be glad you did.
  • Take up old hobbies. Track down your knitting needles, dust off the piano, or get out the golf clubs. Try new activities that catch your eye.
  • Take five every day. A few extra minutes first thing in the morning can center you and set the tone for the whole day. Gather your thoughts, take a long, warm shower, or jot some notes in a journal.
  • Make it quick.  Can your partner or other family members take over parenting duties for a bit? A quick walk around the block or short drive to the store -- by yourself -- will give you some much-needed time to yourself.

Helping Your Child with Autism Thrive

autism

There are many things you can do to help a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) overcome their challenges.

These parenting tips, treatments, and services can help.

A parent's guide to autism treatment and support

If you've recently learned that your child has or might have autism spectrum disorder, you're probably wondering and worrying about what comes next. No parent is ever prepared to hear that a child is anything other than happy and healthy, and an ASD diagnosis can be particularly frightening. You may be unsure about how to best help your child, or confused by conflicting treatment advice. Or you may have been told that ASD is an incurable, lifelong condition, leaving you concerned that nothing you do will make a difference.

While it is true that ASD is not something a person simply “grows out of,” there are many treatments that can help children acquire new skills and overcome a wide variety of developmental challenges. From free government services to in-home behavioral therapy and school-based programs, assistance is available to meet your child's special needs and help them learn, grow, and thrive in life.

When you’re looking after an autistic child, it’s also important to take care of yourself. Being emotionally strong allows you to be the best parent you can be to your child in need. These parenting tips can help by making life with an autistic child easier.

Don't wait for a diagnosis

As the parent of a child with ASD or related developmental delays, the best thing you can do is to start treatment right away. Seek help as soon as you suspect something's wrong. Don't wait to see if your child will catch up later or outgrow the problem. Don't even wait for an official diagnosis. The earlier children with autism spectrum disorder get help, the greater their chance of treatment success. Early intervention is the most effective way to speed up your child's development and reduce the symptoms of autism over the lifespan.

[Read: Does My Child Have Autism?]

When your child has autism

Learn about autism. The more you know about autism spectrum disorder, the better equipped you'll be to make informed decisions for your child. Educate yourself about the treatment options, ask questions, and participate in all treatment decisions.

Become an expert on your child. Figure out what triggers your kid's challenging or disruptive behaviors and what elicits a positive response. What does your child find stressful or frightening? Calming? Uncomfortable? Enjoyable? If you understand what affects your child, you'll be better at troubleshooting problems and preventing or modifying situations that cause difficulties.

Accept your child, quirks and all. Rather than focusing on how your autistic child is different from other children and what he or she is “missing,” practice acceptance. Enjoy your kid's special quirks, celebrate small successes, and stop comparing your child to others. Feeling unconditionally loved and accepted will help your child more than anything else.

Don't give up. It's impossible to predict the course of autism spectrum disorder. Don't jump to conclusions about what life is going to be like for your child. Like everyone else, people with autism have an entire lifetime to grow and develop their abilities.

Helping your child with autism thrive tip 1: Provide structure and safety

Learning all you can about autism and getting involved in treatment will go a long way toward helping your child. Additionally, the following tips will make daily home life easier for both you and your child with ASD:

Be consistent. Children with ASD have a hard time applying what they've learned in one setting (such as the therapist's office or school) to others, including the home. For example, your child may use sign language at school to communicate, but never think to do so at home. Creating consistency in your child's environment is the best way to reinforce learning. Find out what your child's therapists are doing and continue their techniques at home. Explore the possibility of having therapy take place in more than one place in order to encourage your child to transfer what he or she has learned from one environment to another. It's also important to be consistent in the way you interact with your child and deal with challenging behaviors.

Stick to a schedule. Autistic children tend to do best when they have a highly-structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they both need and crave. Set up a schedule for your child, with regular times for meals, therapy, school, and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare your child for it in advance.

Reward good behavior. Positive reinforcement can go a long way with children with ASD, so make an effort to “catch them doing something good.” Praise them when they act appropriately or learn a new skill, being very specific about what behavior they're being praised for. Also look for other ways to reward them for good behavior, such as giving them a sticker or letting them play with a favorite toy.

Create a home safety zone. Carve out a private space in your home where your child can relax, feel secure, and be safe. This will involve organizing and setting boundaries in ways your child can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (colored tape marking areas that are off limits, labeling items in the house with pictures). You may also need to safety proof the house, particularly if your child is prone to tantrums or other self-injurious behaviors.

Tip 2: Find nonverbal ways to connect

Connecting with an autistic child can be challenging, but you don't need to talk—or even touch—in order to communicate and bond. You communicate by the way you look at your child, by the tone of your voice, your body language – and possibly the way you touch your child. Your child is also communicating with you, even if he or she never speaks. You just need to learn the language.

Look for nonverbal cues. If you are observant and aware, you can learn to pick up on the nonverbal cues that autistic children use to communicate. Pay attention to the kinds of sounds they make, their facial expressions, and the gestures they use when they're tired, hungry, or want something.

Figure out the motivation behind the tantrum. It's only natural to feel upset when you are misunderstood or ignored, and it's no different for children with ASD. When children with ASD act out, it's often because you're not picking up on their nonverbal cues. Throwing a tantrum is their way of communicating their frustration and getting your attention.

[Read: Autism Behavior Problems]

Make time for fun. A child coping with ASD is still a child. For both autistic children and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Schedule playtime when your child is most alert and awake. Figure out ways to have fun together by thinking about the things that make your child smile, laugh, and come out of her/his shell. Your child is likely to enjoy these activities most if they don't seem therapeutic or educational. There are tremendous benefits that result from your enjoyment of your child's company and from your child's enjoyment of spending unpressured time with you. Play is an essential part of learning for all children and shouldn't feel like work.

Pay attention to your child's sensory sensitivities. Many children with ASD are hypersensitive to light, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Some children with autism are “under-sensitive” to sensory stimuli. Figure out what sights, sounds, smells, movements, and tactile sensations trigger your kid's “bad” or disruptive behaviors and what elicits a positive response. What does your child find stressful? Calming? Uncomfortable? Enjoyable? If you understand what affects your child, you'll be better at troubleshooting problems, preventing situations that cause difficulties, and creating successful experiences.

Tip 3: Create a personalized autism treatment plan

With so many different treatments available, it can be tough to figure out which approach is right for your child. Making things more complicated, you may hear different or even conflicting recommendations from parents, teachers, and doctors.

When putting together a treatment plan for your child, keep in mind that there is no single treatment that works for everyone. Each person on the autism spectrum is unique, with different strengths and weaknesses.

Your child's treatment should be tailored according to their individual needs. You know your child best, so it's up to you to make sure those needs are being met. You can do that by asking yourself the following questions:

What are my child's strengths – and their weaknesses?

What behaviors are causing the most problems? What important skills is my child lacking?

How does my child learn best – through seeing, listening, or doing?

What does my child enjoy – and how can those activities be used in treatment and to bolster learning?

Finally, keep in mind that no matter what treatment plan is chosen, your involvement is vital to success. You can help your child get the most out of treatment by working hand-in-hand with the treatment team and following through with the therapy at home.  (This is why your well-being is essential!)

A good treatment plan will:

  • Build on your child's interests.
  • Offer a predictable schedule.
  • Teach tasks as a series of simple steps.
  • Actively engage your child's attention in highly structured activities.
  • Provide regular reinforcement of behavior.
  • Involve the parents.

Choosing autism treatments

There are many different options and approaches to ASD treatment, including behavior therapy, speech-language therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and nutritional therapy.

While you don’t have to limit your child to just one treatment at a time, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to address everything at once. Instead, start by focusing on your child’s most severe symptoms and pressing needs.

[Read: Autism Treatments, Therapies, and Interventions]

Tip 4: Find help and support

Caring for a child with autism can demand a lot of energy and time. There may be days when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or discouraged. Parenting isn't ever easy, and raising a child with special needs is even more challenging. In order to be the best parent you can be, it's essential that you take care of yourself.

Don't try to do everything on your own. You don't have to! There are many places that families of children with ASD can turn to for advice, a helping hand, advocacy, and support:

ADS support groups – Joining an ASD support group is a great way to meet other families dealing with the same challenges you are. Parents can share information, get advice, and lean on each other for emotional support. Just being around others in the same boat and sharing their experience can go a long way toward reducing the isolation many parents feel after receiving a child's diagnosis.

Respite care – Every parent needs a break now and again. And for parents coping with the added stress of ASD, this is especially true. In respite care, another caregiver takes over temporarily, giving you a break for a few hours, days, or even weeks.

[Read: Respite Care]

Individual, marital, or family counseling – If stress, anxiety, or depression is getting to you, you may want to see a therapist of your own. Therapy is a safe place where you can talk honestly about everything you're feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Marriage or family therapy can also help you work out problems that the challenges of life with an autistic child are causing in your spousal relationship or with other family members.

With over 25,000 licensed counselors, BetterHelp has a therapist that fits your needs. It's easy, affordable, and convenient.

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Free U.S. government services for children with autism

Under the U.S. federal law known as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), children with disabilities—including those with ASD—are eligible for a range of free or low-cost services. Under this provision, children in need and their families may receive medical evaluations, psychological services, speech therapy, physical therapy, parent counseling and training, assisted technology devices, and other specialized services.

Children under the age of 10 do not need an autism diagnosis to receive free services under IDEA. If they are experiencing a developmental delay (including delays in communication or social development), they are automatically eligible for early intervention and special education services.

Early intervention services (birth through age two)

Infants and toddlers through the age of two receive assistance through the Early Intervention program. In order to qualify, your child must first undergo a free evaluation. If the assessment reveals a developmental problem, you will work with early intervention treatment providers to develop an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP). An IFSP describes your child's needs and the specific services he or she will receive.

For autism, an IFSP would include a variety of behavior, physical, speech, and play therapies. It would focus on preparing autistic kids for the eventual transition to school. Early intervention services are typically conducted in the home or at a child care center.

To locate local early intervention services for your child, ask your pediatrician for a referral or use the resources listed in the “Get more help” section at the end of the article.

Special education services (age three and older)

Children over the age of three receive assistance through school-based programs. As with early intervention, special education services are tailored to your child's individual needs. Autistic children are often placed with other developmentally delayed kids in small groups where they can receive more individual attention and specialized instruction. However, depending on their abilities, they may also spend at least part of the school day in a regular classroom. The goal is to place kids in the “least restrictive environment” possible where they are still able to learn.

If you'd like to pursue special education services, your local school system will first need to evaluate your child. Based on this assessment, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) will be drafted. An IEP outlines the educational goals for your child for the school year. Additionally, it describes the special services or supports the school will provide your child in order to meet those goals.

Know your child's rights

As the parent of a child with ASD, you have a legal right to:

  • Be involved in developing your child's IEP from start to finish
  • Disagree with the school system's recommendations
  • Seek an outside evaluation for your child
  • Invite anyone you want—from a relative to your child's doctor—to be on the IEP team
  • Request an IEP meeting at any time if you feel your child's needs are not being met
  • Free or low-cost legal representation if you can't come to an agreement with the school

Caring for a child with autism when you are autistic

Research indicates that there is a genetic component to autism. However, many parents only discover they’re autistic when they research and obtain a formal diagnosis for their own child. If you’re autistic, you might face unique challenges when it comes to raising children who are also neurodivergent. Here are a few tips that may help:

Don’t hide your identity. Let your child get to know the real you. If you have certain quirks, such as repetitive behaviors or unusual body movements, don’t feel pressured to mask them in front of your child. By being yourself, you’re encouraging your autistic child to be themselves around you and creating an opportunity to bond over your similarities. You can also talk with your child about how neurotypical individuals may react to your behaviors and how to handle negative reactions. Aim to offer the type of guidance you could’ve used when you were young.

Remember to care for yourself. Caring for a child can be challenging if you struggle with sensory needs or require a highly structured lifestyle. For example, if you’re sensitive to sounds, a crying child may be a constant source of stress and discomfort. A child’s sudden tantrums can make it hard for you to stick to a consistent schedule, creating further frustration. To protect your own sense of well-being, it’s important for you to adopt coping habits that help reduce your stress in these types of situations.

[Read: Autism in Adults: Recognizing the Signs, Living with a Diagnosis]

If certain tasks seem overwhelming, look to other people for support. For example, if communicating with doctors and teachers poses a challenge, a parenting mentor or other parents with autism might be able to help you come up with solutions.

Build on your strengths. Everyone has specific strengths, and you’re no exception. Consider how your skills and talents can help you establish a supportive household for your child. Do you excel at visual thinking or design? Create educational posters for your child. Are you able to focus for long periods of time? Use that focus to research and study up on parenting practices and coping strategies. Are you good at problem-solving? Use your creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to overcome challenges around the house.

Be patient with yourself and your child. Be willing to accept that you both have plenty of time to grow and learn. You might experience some setbacks. Perhaps, you lose your temper and feel ashamed by your reaction. Or maybe your child has a hard time fitting in with peers when they start school. Resolve to learn from bad experiences and find solutions, even if you have to make multiple attempts. When one of you does make progress, remember to acknowledge the growth. Offer your child praise and celebrate your personal successes as well.

Authors: Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Ted Hutman, Ph.D.

Ted Hutman, Ph.D. is Assistant Clinical Professor in Psychiatry at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA and a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Santa Monica, CA.

      • References

        Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. American Psychiatric Association. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787.x01_Neurodevelopmental_Disorders

        Autism spectrum disorder: MedlinePlus Genetics. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/condition/autism-spectrum-disorder/

        Autistic children may inherit DNA mutations from their fathers | Science | AAAS. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.science.org/content/article/autistic-children-may-inherit-dna-mutations-their-fathers

        Five Tips for Autistic Parents from This Autistic Parent – The Asperger / Autism Network (AANE). (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.aane.org/five-tips-for-autistic-parents-from-this-autistic-parent/

        Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (ACT). (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/advocacy/education/idea

        Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) Services | CDC. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/cp/treatment.html

        Sensory differences—A guide for all audiences. (n.d.). Retrieved June 16, 2022, from https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/sensory-differences/sensory-differences/all-audiences

      The Autism Revolution – Whole body strategies for making life all it can be (Harvard Health Books)

      Living with Autism – Including how to cope with stress on the family, make the home safe, and deal with sibling issues. (Autism Society of America)

      Life Journey Through Autism: A Parent's Guide to Research (PDF) – Guide to choosing treatments for your children. (Organization for Autism Research)

      Parent Guide to IDEA – Guide to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) in the U.S. (National Center for Learning Disabilities)

      Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) – Learn all about IEPs in the U.S. for kids with autism and other developmental issues. (KidsHealth)

      How is Autism Treated? – Therapies and treatments. (Autism Speaks)

      Hotlines and support

      In the U.S.: Call the Autism Society National Helpline at 1-800-328-8476.

      UK: Call the Child Autism UK helpline at 01344 882248 or find help and support at The National Autistic Society.

      Australia: Call the Early Intervention helpdesk in Perth at 1800 778 581 or Get support for your child from NDIS.

      Canada: Call the Autism Canada Family Support Representative at 1-800-983-1795.

      New Zealand: Find helplines and support in your area at Autism New Zealand.

      Last updated: December 5, 2022

      How to teach a child with autism to communicate with other children?

      01/22/14


      Meetings with peers for games under surveillance - an effective method of forming social skills in children with autism

      Source: Association for Science in Autism Treatment

      9000 9000

      : My child is with autism is doing well in the curriculum, but I would like to help him with the development of communication skills with other children. We've been setting up play meetings for him, but I'm worried he's not getting the most out of those meetings. How can I help him learn to play with a friend? nine0003

      Answered by Caitlin Reilly and Carol Deutschman.

      The Importance of Play Encounters

      The development of play and social skills should be a key component of an educational or home program for a child with autism. Possessing these skills not only improves a child's overall quality of life and relationship ability, but also enhances his or her ability to learn from others. However, in order to learn these skills, many children with autism need direct and systematic instruction. nine0003

      Parent-organized play meetings can provide a child with the necessary structure and practice to improve their peer and friendship skills (Koegel, Werner, Vismara, & Koegel, 2005). In order for play meetings to become an effective and enjoyable social event for your child, he must first develop the required skills - prerequisites. These prerequisites include:

      - The ability to tolerate the presence of other children, pay attention to them and imitate their behavior. nine0003

      - Ability to communicate one's own wants and needs.

      - The skill of doing things in turn.

      - Ability to play with age appropriate toys and knowledge of one or two simple games (Smith, 2001).

      If your child does not yet have these skills and is not yet ready to play with a peer, make a list of those skills that he does not yet have to play with a friend. After that, start teaching your child these skills with adults (Leaf & McEachin, 1999). He is likely to be working on these same skills at school or another institution, but you can add additional opportunities for him to practice at home (perhaps with the participation of a brother or sister).

      Planning an Effective Play Meeting

      Once your child is confidently demonstrating the prerequisite skills for peer meetings, it is important to organize play meetings for them using evidence-based methods. These methods are based on the application of techniques that have been proven effective in controlled scientific studies. When arranging peer meetings for your child, these methods will include motivation systems, strategic rewards, and systematic prompt reduction. Evidence-based methods also require the mandatory collection of objective data to monitor progress. nine0003

      To increase the motivation of the child during the play meeting, use toys and activities that are most enjoyable for the child and his friend (Koegel et al., 2005). Motivation is a must to keep both children engaged and to maximize your child's learning. Your child is more likely to invite a friend to play if the game is fun for them. Likewise, a peer is more likely to engage actively with your child if they enjoy the activity during the meeting. It may be helpful to invite the children to choose activities in turn. nine0003

      It is equally important to identify the specific skills you want to teach your child during play meetings, and then set 2-3 goals for those skills for each children's meeting. Such skills may include greeting friends, initiating games, and asking questions of another child. For example, the first few play meetings might focus on having the child say “Hi” and “Bye” to their friend on their own and play ball with them. As with other skills, consider practicing these play and social skills separately with your child before transferring them to a natural peer situation. Your child may need a lot of cues at first, so consider how you can gradually decrease your cues as your child develops skills, and how you can arrange to practice these skills in different places, with different people, and during different activities. . Once your child begins to greet his friend independently and with ease, focus on teaching him more complex play skills, such as asking questions or commenting when interacting with a peer. Remember that all the skills that you teach during play meetings should have already been mastered by the child during classes with adults. Start with simple skills, and then build on those skills that the child has already mastered. nine0003

      If your child has problematic behavior, make a plan for how you will respond if he shows up during a play date. Your plan may include "preventive" strategies such as limiting meeting time, using visual support (such as activity boards), and minimizing activities that may be a source of obsession or stress for the child. There is no need to worry that the child is ashamed to use your support and constantly practice to achieve success (for example, if he does not make eye contact during meetings). Consistency in rewarding the desired behavior is essential to reduce problem behavior and help the child communicate successfully with peers (Maurice, Green, & Luce, 1996).

      Peer selection

      Candidates for play meetings should include both boys and girls of various ages (Smith, 2001). Often the best candidates for such meetings are open and responsive children. They will provide your child with many learning opportunities as they ask a lot of questions, answer enthusiastically, and they are quite patient with a child who is just learning to communicate. From the perspective of a behavioral analyst, we view peer responses as rewards for your child's responses. So if the other child is not responsive enough, then it is unlikely that yours will initiate communication with peers in the future. Talk to your child's teacher or other professionals - they may know suitable candidates for such meetings, or contact neighbors who may have children. nine0003

      Ideal peers for practicing social skills are children with whom the child frequently encounters anyway, such as the children of relatives (Oppenheim-Leaf et al., 2012). It is important that your child's peer and his or her parents are aware of your child's unique behaviors and needs (Baker, 2003). Prepare them for what to expect and ask permission from other parents to reward children during the play meeting. For example, a child's peer can be rewarded for asking a question or patiently waiting for your child's response. Rewarding a peer for interacting with your child motivates them to interact more with your child in the future. nine0003

      Collecting data

      Collecting data about your child's progress is essential to ensure effective learning. This process will help you set goals, track changes objectively, and change your teaching methods, and if progress has stalled or results have declined, then you can make changes to your teaching methods. For example, if your child is not learning to say “Hi” to a peer, then you may need to increase their motivation to learn, increase the level of assistance (such as providing a verbal model of greeting), or consult a qualified therapist who can offer other ideas. nine0003

      The following is an example of a data collection form that can be developed to track a child's progress during each play session. The skills you teach and the data you collect will depend on the child's individual abilities and needs.

      Meeting Data Form for Tommy Games Meeting data sheet for Tommy games
      Date: 10/25/12 Date: 2. 11.12
      Coeval: Kyle Coeval: Kyle
      1. Says “Hello” to a peer after a prompt + 1. Says "Hello" to a peer after a prompt +
      2. Initiates co-op activities with a peer using the photo prompts in the class schedule. 2. Initiates co-op activities with a peer using the photo prompts in the class schedule.
      – / + / + / + / + - / + / + / + / +
      3. Cases of problem behavior (in accounting units) 3. Cases of problematic behavior (in scientific units)

      Organizing an effective play date

      Set aside favorite treats to use as rewards for your child during play sessions (Leaf & McEachin, 1999). It's best to only use these special treats during play dates as it will increase your child's motivation to earn them. During a play meeting, be a “shadow” of yours—stand behind him to prompt when initiating communication or peer response is needed (Krantz & McClannahan, 1993). When the child demonstrates the target behavior (for example, maintains eye contact with a peer) or successfully communicates with a peer (for example, makes eye contact and says “Hi Kyle”), then praise him (for example, “Great hello to Kyle!”) and give a small piece of your favorite treat. As your child's learning progresses and he begins to demonstrate these skills on his own, reduce the use of the shadow technique, including your prompts and instructions, and reduce food and social rewards. Ultimately, your child's behavior will be rewarded by playing and talking to a friend, not by food or verbal praise. It may also be necessary to encourage peer efforts, especially if your child is not cooperative. nine0003

      Many children with autism learn new things through visual timetables (Krantz & McClannahan, 1998). For this reason, it may be worth making a "visual meeting schedule for games" that both children will follow. The schedule can include photos of various games and activities and/or a photo of a peer. As the child learns, the use of the schedule can be reduced so that the meeting for play becomes more natural. You can also prepare materials in such a way that the children have to cooperate to participate in the activity (Koegel et al., 2005). For example, if you are making cookies with your children, one child will hold the measuring cup while the other child pours the ingredients into it. nine0003

      Play sessions should be short at first, and should not be extended until the child begins to show discomfort or something goes wrong (Smith, 2001). A successful five-minute interaction with a peer is better than a thirty-minute meeting that ends in a violent scandal. It may take a few play sessions to get your child comfortable around a peer and take time to learn new skills. It may be beneficial for your child to date the same child until he or she has mastered (full independence) for specific skills, then try to teach the child to use those skills with another child. nine0003

      Since the groundbreaking work of Dr. Ivar Lovaas (1981), who demonstrated that parents themselves can teach their children with autism important skills, we have developed many effective methods for teaching social and play skills (Leaf & McEachin, 1999; Lydon, Healy , & Leader, 2011; Koegel, Werner, Vismara, & Koegel, 2005; Smith, 2001; Krantz & McClannahan, 1993; Krantz & McClannahan, 1998; Maurice, Green, & Luce, 1996). Consulting a qualified professional can help plan and organize effective play meetings, but remember that you are your child's first teacher. By using these techniques during guided play meetings, you will not only teach your child essential social and play skills, you will teach them new ways to have fun! nine0003

      Refs:

      Baker, J. E. (2003). Social skills training for children and adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and social communication problems. Shawnee, MI, Kansas: Asperger Publishing Company.

      Freeman, S., & Dake, L., (1997). Teach me language: A language manual for children with autism, Asperger's syndrome and related disorders. Langley, BC: SKF Books.

      Koegel, R. L., Werner, G. A., Vismara, L. A., & Koegel, L. K. (2005). The effectiveness of contextually supported play date interactions between children with autism and typically developing peers. Research & Practice with Severe Disabilities, 30, 93-102.

      Krantz, P. J., & McClannahan, L. E. (1993). Teaching children with autism to initiate to peers: Effects of a script fading procedure. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 26, 121-132.

      Krantz, P. J., & McClannahan, L. E. (1998). Activity schedules for children: Teaching independent behavior. Bethesda, MD: Woodbine House.

      Leaf, R., & McEachin, J. (1999). A work in progress: Behavior management strategies and a curriculum for intensive behavioral treatment of autism. New York: DRL Books. nine0003

      Lovaas, O. I. (1981). Teaching developmentally disabled children: The me book. Austin, TX: Proed.

      Lydon, H., Healy, O., & Leader, G. (2011). A comparison of video modeling and pivotal response training to teach pretend play skills to children with ASD. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 5(2), 872-884.

      Maurice, C. Green, G., & Luce, C. (1996). Behavioral intervention for young children with autism: A manual for parents and professionals. Austin, TX: Proed. nine0003

      Oppenheim-Leaf, M. L., Leaf, J. B., Dozier, C., Sheldon, J. B., & Sherman, J. A. (2012). Teaching typically developing children to promote social play with their siblings with autism. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 6(2), 777-791.

      Smith, M. J. (2001). Teaching play skills to children with autism spectrum disorder: A practical guide. New York: DRL Books.

      ABA Therapy and Behavior, Parenting with Autism, Methods and Treatment, Social Skills

      Diagnosis, treatment and life with ASD — Neuroflex

      We tell you which specialists to contact for help, which correction methods have an evidence base and which do not, and what to do if the diagnosis of ASD is confirmed.