How to get over father of your child
How to stop loving the father of your child as a single mom: Top tips
Relationships are pleasant and exciting when two people are deeply in love. The joy of sharing your love with someone who feels the same way is priceless. Relationships also end, abruptly or otherwise. Moving on with your life when things fail to work with your partner is sometimes not easy. It even becomes stressful when you break up right after you find out that you are pregnant or when the baby is born. You harbour feelings of resentment, hostility, and anger when this happens. How can the universe turn everything for the worse? When this happens, the next step should be to focus on loving your child and how to stop loving the father of your child. He betrayed you. He does not deserve your love.
Image: wikimedia.comSource: UGC
Many women deal with issues that involve falling out with the baby daddy individually. You have to approach every move you make carefully as any step you take directly or indirectly affects your baby. Do not feel bad about the situation. The break up most likely happened for a reason. Life as a single mother can be overwhelming.
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This is why it is important to have a strong support system around you when you feel that you cannot handle some things. Your close friends and family should be your support system. Moving from loving the baby’s father to resenting him and maybe later thinking of getting back to him can be confusing.
The following tips should help you stop loving the father of your child as a single mother:
1. Don’t dwell on the past
Before going separate ways, you thought that you and the father of your child were a match made in heaven. You loved him with all your heart and even pictured a life together. He was the sweetest, took care of you, and also made you feel worthy. Something, however, happened along the way and by the time your child was born, the two of you were not seeing eye to eye.
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Thinking of the good times, you shared with your baby daddy can be hurtful. Dwelling on the past will only bring back memories that will not help the situation. You can let go of someone you love and have a child with no matter how sweet they were in the past. Think of the present and the role he has played in putting you in your current situation.
2. Don't look desperate
That desperate look is ugly even for a successful woman. Do not make him think that you want him so much to the point of dropping everything you are doing when he calls. Make him know that you have options. You are young and beautiful. There are a ton of men who would kill to be with you.
Appearing desperate for him when your child’s father has moved on will make him lose respect for you. Do not crave so much the traditional nuclear family. There is nothing you can do at this point. You tried, but it did not work.
Forge forward and only focus on your child and career. He is doing the same.
Read also
10 signs he doesn't care about the relationship and what to do
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3. Start seeing other people
The relationship with your baby’s father failed. You probably tried rekindling the love so many times, but none of the things you did helped. It is not the end of the world. You can still see other people. And no, your child will not block any attempts you have at finding new love. So many single parents go-ahead to date other people after failed relationships.
While out looking for your next partner, it fits not to hide that you have a child. Withholding the fact that you have a child from a potential partner may make everything backfire. Children are blessings, and if someone truly loves you, they will love your child as well. Introducing the fact that you have a child when you are too deep into the relationship may undo everything you have built.
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Image: unsplash.comSource: UGC
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4. Make peace with self
Making peace with ending a relationship with your child’s father may not be easy, but it is necessary. Accept what life has brought to you and move on. Try and find relaxation techniques that work for you as you embark on the journey of healing and acceptance. Denial is the biggest threat at this point.
Do not be the baby mother who does not accept that things did not work with the baby daddy. Rise above the temptation to fight for the already broken love. It will do you right if you accept and let go. Do not overthink the situation as this may make you depressed. Accept and move on to other things that are happening in your life.
5. Don’t view the kids as an extension of their dad
You sure love your child more than anything else in the world. This love should not be confused with the love you had for their father.
Try and not look at your kid or kids as an extension of their father. They may have many physical features similar to their dad, but that does not mean that they are the same person.
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Remember that the love you had for their father is no longer there for a reason. Let the children be their person. Love them unconditionally and give them everything a mother would give them. However, do not start seeing their father in them even if they display physical traits that remind you of their father.
6. Enforce boundaries
The first thing you should do as you start co-parenting with the father of your baby is to set boundaries. Make him aware that even though you shared a life in the past and even made a baby, things have changed now. Think of how to break up with the father of your child without drama, talk about the appropriate time to meet, and who he can tag along when he comes to see his child.
Tell him that he is not always free to stay in your house and if he does, he has to follow the ground rules.
Create boundaries on how close the two of you can get. Having to co-parent with someone you no longer love or are trying to get over is no easy thing. Emotions may run high during one of the visits.
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7. Think of the reasons that made you go separate ways
Did he cheat? Was he a perennial liar? Was he abusive? Did he manipulate you emotionally time and again? Think of the many reasons that made you end the relationship with the father of your child. The kid being in the picture is not a guarantee that this man will change his ways.
Thinking of him in a positive light when he is still abusive will only hurt you in the end. You can work on an ideal co-parenting plan but not have thoughts of getting back together. He will still abuse you and disregard you even with the child present.
READ ALSO: Girlfriend duties in a relationship: 15 things you are supposed to do
8.
Take the mixed signals as a noSomeone that shows you mixed signals is not right for you. One moment they feel you and the next they are too busy for you. They make promises and fulfil them for a week then completely forget about the promises they made the next day. Take this as a flag and flee. Going away is, however impossible if you share a child with this person.
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That is why it is prudent to take any mixed signals as a no and stop having any hopes of you two being an item. Make it clear that you do not appreciate how he fails to be straight-forward with you. Stand your ground and keep ignoring the father of your child if he fails to give you the full attention you need.
9. Cut contacts with some of your mutual friends
Image: pexels.comSource: UGC
Being in a relationship with someone means that you get to know some of their friends and they know some of yours. You also meet new friends when together.
Having mutual friends can be a liability when a relationship goes south. Some of the friends you made while together are great company while others only make the situation difficult.
Interacting with mutual friends may mean that the name of your baby daddy pops up once in a while in the conversations you have. This is not helpful for you as you are trying so hard to stop loving him. The mention of his name will only remind you of the past you want to forget. Cut off the friends you no longer want to associate with. It is healthy for your mental state.
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10. Think of yourself as the other woman
Your relationship perhaps failed because he was seeing another person. The pregnancy was probably unplanned. Whatever the reasons, think yourself as the other woman any time you entertain the thoughts of you and the father of your child getting back together. You do not stay together. The chances are that he is seeing one or more women wherever he lives.
You surely do not want to be the other woman, especially when it comes to a man that sired your kid. This is one effective step on how to get your baby daddy out of your life romantically. Keep this in mind every time the two of you meet. It will help you discard any ideas of being the happy family you probably fantasize about.
11. Be the fun mum, go out
A broken relationship with a child in the picture will have you hate yourself for a minute. You will think of all things that you did wrong and even try to fix them. You will cry for days, curse the day you met your baby’s father, swear to never get into another relationship, and think of every wild thing under the sun. This should not break you.
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After you are done feeling sorry for yourself, get up, and face reality. Do not be holed up in your house like you are sick. Think of your baby’s interests and provide for them with all they need. When everything is taken care of, go out and have some fun.
Go for girls’ night out, take yourself on dates, be a free bird, it will help you cope.
12. Seek professional help if everything else fails
Therapists and counsellors are there for a reason. When everything else fails, take yourself to a professional for help. This is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Therapists and counsellors are trained to understand your issues and will help you fix them.
Remember to be open with them as they do not judge. They are there to help you. They listen, observe, take notes, and offer their wisdom. Want to know how to get over your baby daddy while pregnant? They will show you how. You can also join support groups in the community.
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What works for your friend may not work for you. Analyze your situation and learn how the baby daddy moves. The decision on how to stop loving the father of your child should come from within. Friends, society, the media, and other external factors should not influence you.
Most importantly, choose you and focus on the well-being of your child. Keep in mind that children are keen and they can read the room. A mental breakdown from you can affect your child. Learn how to be strong for your baby. They need you more than anything else.
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READ ALSO:
- Prayer for someone you love to come back
- How to pull away emotionally from a guy you love
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7 Tips to Get Over the Father of Your Child
You can get over the father of your child by acknowledging your feelings for him while reflecting on your relationship with him and being mindful of the reasons why your relationship did not work out. You can also consider avoiding any triggering places or people who remind you of him and when you are ready, enter the dating market to restore your hope in love.
Getting over the father of your child after the end of your relationship is a challenge, especially because you share a lifelong bond in the form of your child. While the thought of not being with your child’s father may be a daunting one, it is possible to heal and grow and go on to live a life separate from your child’s father.
Getting over the father of your child probably won’t be easy, but if you apply these seven tips, you’ll be on the road to healing and working towards a life that includes the father of your child in a non-romantic, co-parenting, healthy sense.
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1. Acknowledge your feelings for your child’s father
They say the first step to recovery is acceptance. Acknowledging your feelings can go a long way in helping you get over your ex. As humans, we lose a lot of time being in denial about our feelings, time which could alternatively and better be spent dealing with our feelings.
Once you have assessed how you truly feel about him, you will be able to move forward with your life with a clear mind regarding what you want for yourself in the future.
2. Keep an accurate account of your time together
In times of hurt, it’s easy to remember all the good times and minimize the pain you experienced in the bad times. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as “graduation glasses”; something like when you graduate from high school and only remember the highlights and not the low points.
When reflecting on the past, it’s important that you don’t only think of the good times you shared. Remembering only the good things without recognizing the pain that came with it, or the issues that caused the relationship to reach its conclusion will only leave you feeling like you’re missing out by not being with the father of your child.
You may even find it particularly helpful to recall all the bad times together to remind yourself why it is not beneficial for you to be in a relationship with him.
If this is an approach that works for you, consider writing down all the negative memories as a reminder of why you should not go back to him.
Writing down your negative emotions may also help you process your feelings towards him, which may aid in you getting over him.
3. Avoid dwelling on the past
Reflecting on your time with the father of your child is an important healing tool. However, it is important that you do not dwell on the past. Rather, start envisioning your future, what you want out of life, what you want in a partner, and what kind of partner you would want to be around your child.
Shifting your focus towards the future will provide you with a sense of hope that will enable you to let go of the past. It isn’t easy to get over the father of your child, especially if you’ve convinced yourself that he is the only person for you.
However, if you begin to believe that you’ll find another suitable partner who can love you and your child the way you deserve, you may find it less difficult to release your child’s father.
4. See other people
Once you feel comfortable, consider getting back on the dating market. Your approach to dating does not have to be serious, to begin with, but it would be beneficial to act with intention as you’re more likely to find what you are looking for in a partner if you do so.
Regardless, entering the dating market can help you feel alive again. Dating has a way of making you feel excited about life and good about yourself. Going on dates is a great way to let loose and open yourself up to the prospects of love again.
By going on dates, you may find yourself becoming more optimistic about finding a new partner and becoming comfortable with the idea of living a life apart from the father of your child.
One word of caution, as you begin to date, avoid introducing potential suitors to your child(ren) until things are becoming serious. This will avoid your child forming attachments with someone who ends up being a temporary or casual partner. It also allows you to filter through your dates and ensure that they are safe and appropriate to be around your child.
5. Enforce boundaries in your relationship with your child’s father
You may find yourself experiencing various forms of tension in your interactions with your child’s father. Going from lovers to co-parents can be a challenging shift, especially given the emotional and physical connection you two share. This can become especially fraught as one or both of you go on to form new relationships (especially if your relationship ended due to infidelity and your ex goes on to have a continuing relationship with their affair partner).
Creating boundaries with your child’s father is a great way to ensure that neither of you gets hurt. When emotions run high, lines get blurred easily. Ensuring that strict boundaries are in place can prevent any messy interactions that may only put you back further if you find yourself entangled with your child’s father. Focus your conversations on your shared child and their schedule and avoid rehashing your relationship issues.
You should never engage in negative talk about your ex in front of your child or argue with their father during drop-offs.
If you feel you cannot be civil during custody exchanges, request that a mutually agreed-upon neutral party (like your sibling or parent) perform the exchanges until you are better able to communicate without anger.
6. Avoid mutual friends
It’s likely that you and your child’s father probably have quite a few mutual friends.
While you may find it challenging, consider cutting down on the contact you have with mutual friends. Spending time with them may cause you to miss your child’s father and reminisce about the time shared. You may also find them pressuring you to get back with him.
While it’s likely they mean well, they do not know the ins and outs of your relationship. For this reason, it’s probably best to avoid placing yourself in these uncomfortable situations until you feel secure in your decision not to be with your child’s father.
7. Avoid triggering places
Naturally, you are likely to share many memories with your child’s father. Where possible, try to avoid placing yourself in situations where these memories can be triggered.
If you had a favourite restaurant or bar together, try to find a new one that you enjoy without them, as returning to these shared areas is likely to leave you reminiscing and possibly make you miss them even more.
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Final Thoughts
Recognize the father of your child as a father, separate from his role as a partner.
It is essential that you don’t beat yourself about the idea of giving your child a “family” and use that as a reason why you should try to work on your failed relationship with your child’s father.
Single parents are fully capable of raising wonderful children and co-parenting, if done effectively, can provide loving stability to many children. It is far better for children to see healthy co-parenting modeled for them, with parents who respect each other albeit are not in a relationship, rather than view a fractured and unhappy marriage.
Your child’s father is capable of being a father without having to be a partner, the same way you are no less of a mother if you are not with your child’s father.
Getting over the feelings you have for the father of your child can be a daunting task. Applying these tips may feel incredibly challenging in the moment, but will bring great reward in the future when you find yourself free of the emotions tied to your child’s father and co-parenting successfully and amicably for years to come.
How to help your child after the death of a parent
The information in this article explains how to help your child after the death of a parent.
back to top of pageUnderstanding a child's grief
For any child, the death of a parent is the hardest test. No matter how old your child is, you may want to protect him from the sadness and confusion that you are experiencing. Children, as well as adults, may need help in dealing with loss and adjusting to life after it. Remember that how a child experiences grief depends on their age, understanding of death, and the behavior of others.
Grief in young children
Young children express their grief differently than adults.
After the death of a parent, they may have short and strong emotional outbursts. In addition, they may experience physical reactions, such as pain in the body or changes in sleep patterns. Some children may express grief through changes in their behavior. They may have difficulty completing daily tasks or behave in ways they have never behaved before. They may grieve for short periods of time with breaks in between. For example, a child may cry or appear sad, and shortly thereafter ask to go for a walk or start playing. Other children may not show any signs of sadness or grief.
Adolescents experience grief
While younger children may not fully understand death, adolescents have a more mature understanding of it. Adolescents are at a stage in their lives when their personality, way of thinking and emotions are being formed. After the death of a parent, they can experience a wide range of emotions. Some may feel that their place in the family has changed and take on adult responsibilities.
Adolescents may need privacy to grieve. Let your child know that they can talk to you and ask for support.
How to help your child
It may be difficult for you to help your child because you yourself are experiencing loss. If you are having trouble communicating with your child, ask for support and help from a family member, friend, social worker, psychologist, or religious or spiritual guide.
Here are some ways you can help your child cope with loss.
Share your own thoughts and feelings
It is natural not to cry in front of your child, but expressing your emotions can serve as an example for your child to cope with difficulties. Share your own feelings about the loss of a loved one. By telling your child how you feel, you will help your child express his feelings as well. If your family holds any religious or spiritual beliefs, it may help to mention your faith in the conversation.
Talk about death directly
When talking about death, avoid phrases such as "gone" or "left.
" This can mislead the child and make them think that their parent will soon wake up or return. Honesty and directness will help your child understand what happened and learn how to deal with grief. Some families use religious or spiritual beliefs to help the child understand that the parent is not physically present. If you think this might be helpful, ask a religious or spiritual guide for help.
Honor the memory of the deceased
Rituals to honor a loved one can have a calming effect on you and your child. By maintaining old family traditions or creating new ones, you and your family can keep in touch with your loved one. In different cultures and religions, there are rituals to honor someone's memory. Some families have their own rituals, such as getting together and preparing a special meal, planting a garden, visiting favorite places, or celebrating birthdays. Whatever you choose, remember that there is no right or wrong way to honor a loved one. Try to do what will be most comfortable for your family.
Funeral participation
Whether your child attends a funeral or a farewell ceremony is a decision between you and your child. The opportunity to be present at the funeral will allow the child to experience grief with his family. If your child is attending a funeral, make sure they know what to expect beforehand. You may also want to consider having your child participate in the ceremony. The child can write a letter or draw something and put it in the coffin. He can also make a collage with photos of the parent for the funeral.
At the funeral, always remember the child's feelings and check his health. You may want to ask someone your child trusts to occasionally go out with your child for breaks. If the child wants to leave the room, let him do it. After the funeral or farewell ceremony, the child may have new questions about death.
back to top of pageResources for you and your family
MSK resources
Support is available for you and your family, no matter where you are in the world.
Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK) offers a range of resources for grieving families and their friends. You can learn more about these resources at www.mskcc.org/experience/caregivers-support/support-grieving-family-friends
Talking with Children About Cancer
Talking about Cancer with Children is a program designed to support parents undergoing cancer treatment in raising their children and adolescents. Our social workers offer family support groups, individual and group counseling, access to resources, and guidance for professionals including school social workers, school psychologists, counselors, teachers, and other staff. For more information, visit www.mskcc.org/experience/patient-support/counseling/talking-with-children
Bereavement Program
646-888-4889
MSK offers services through the Bereavement Program to help bereaved family members and friends. People who have lost a loved one to cancer may find it helpful to talk to other grieving people.
The Departments of Social Work, Psychiatry, and Behavioral Sciences offer support groups and educational programs for people who have lost a loved one to cancer. Services include short courses of individual counseling, resources for bereaved children, adult groups, and access to local resources.
For more information or to join a bereavement support group, call Social Work at 646-888-4889.
MSK Counseling Center
646-888-0200
Some bereaved families find they have benefited from expert advice. Our psychiatrists and psychologists work at the bereavement clinic, where they provide counseling and support for individuals, couples and families, and can prescribe medications to help manage depression.
Spiritual support
212-639-5982
Our chaplains are ready to listen and support family members, pray, reach out to local clergy or religious groups, simply offer comfort and extend a spiritual helping hand. Any person can apply for spiritual support, regardless of their formal religious affiliation.
Additional resources
Books, educational resources and local support programs are available for bereaved parents and children. For more information about these programs, call your social worker or visit www.mskcc.org/experience/patient-support/counseling/talking-with-children/resources
Useful websites
The Dougy Center: national center for children and families in grief
www.dougy.org
The Dougy Center provides support for grieving children, teens, young adults and families. The Center provides online resources and programs to support and assist families in grief.
Red Door Community
212-647-9700
www.reddoorcommunity.org
Provides meeting places for people living with cancer and their family and friends. Enables people to meet each other to build systems of mutual support. Provides free assistance and organizes communication groups, lectures, seminars and social events.
The Red Door Community used to be called Gilda's Club.
Useful literature
Books for adults on how to help children and adolescents deal with grief
Guiding Your Child Through Grief
By James P. Emswiler
The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide
By Helen Fitzgerald
Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One: A Guide for Grown Ups
By William C. Kroen
How Do We Tell the Children? A Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children Two to Teen Cope When Someone Dies
By Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons
Preparing Your Children for Goodbye: A Guidebook for Dying Parents
Author: Lori Hedderman
Take My Hand: Guiding Your Child Through Grief
Author: Sharon Marshall
Talking about Death: A Dialogue between Parent and Child
By Earl A. Grollman
Books for children about death and grief
Always by My Side (Always next to me)
For children aged 4 to 8
Author: Susan Kerner
Everett Anderson's Goodbye
For children aged 5 to 8
Author: Lucille Clifton
Gentle Willow: A Story for Children about Dying
For children aged 4 to 8
By Joyce C.
Mills
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf
For children over 4 years of age
By Leo Buscaglia
The Goodbye Book
For children aged 3 to 6
Author: Todd Parr
Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
For children aged 5+
Author: Bryan Mellonie
The Memory Box: A Book about Grief
For children aged 4 to 9years
Author: Joanna Rowland
I Miss You: A First Look at Death
For children aged 4 to 8
By Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker
The Next Place (Better world
For children aged 5+
By Warren Hanson
Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss
For children aged 6 to 9
Author: Michelene Mundy
Samantha Jane's Missing Smile: A Story About Coping with the Loss of a Parent
For children aged 5 to 8
By Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus
Saying Goodbye to Daddy
For children aged 4+
Author: Judith Vigna
Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss
For children aged 8+
Author: Pat Schwiebert
What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? (What do you do when someone dies?)
For children aged 5 to 10
Author: Trevor Romain
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death
For children aged 4 to 7
Posted by Laurie Kransy Brown and Marc Brown
Where Are You? A Child's Book about Loss (Where are you? Children's book about loss)
For children aged 4 to 8
Author: Laura Olivieri
Books for children with tasks for understanding death and dealing with grief
Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies
For children aged 5 to 8
By Janis Silverman
When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief
For children aged 9 to 12
By Marge Heegaard
I love the man from whom I gave birth to a child, and he betrayed us, left us
Requests for helpWrite your story
Please help, save me from unbridled pain.
I don’t know how to describe everything, but I live terribly badly on the machine. I’ll write in more detail I love the man from whom I gave birth to a child, and he betrayed us, left us, left me alone with a baby in her arms who is only five months old during this time, he appeared a couple of times and never once asked how my son and I live. But we were together for three years and he, like me, was waiting for our child, we bought him clothes together, everything else he was pleased to look after me. we neither! when we didn’t swear big, I always took great care of him. I took care of ourselves, we were a happy couple, now I think he really played with me all these years. what happened to him when he took it and forgot about us I don’t even understand. now I only have enough strength take care of a child, I live like a robot. I woke up, the child fell asleep. The result is that I alone with a heart torn to shreds can live without him. How to forget.
Natalia, age: 28 / 14.08.2010
Responses:
you have a wonderful stimulus in your life - your child!! This little miracle wants you to be there, and this young man, apparently, still without brains, step over yourself and live to show him that you do not need him, prove to yourself that you are capable of more, and give your child warmth and affection!!
Bee, age: 20 / 08/14/2010
Natalia, you are now not an easy woman, you are a MOTHER! Your ray of light, your hope and the meaning of life in front of you is your baby. You are not alone, you have someone to give your love to, there is someone to take care of and worry about. Do not be selfish, now you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for the miracle that you brought into the world.
Honestly, you can be envied. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, think about your son. Time heals, the pain will go away. You will definitely meet a worthy man who will make you happy. God will help you, I'm sure of it. Drive away black thoughts, be strong, and forget the former, he was never yours.
All the best to you))
eva, age: 22 / 14.08.2010
Hello, Natalia!
Our people will not leave Our Path.
Since he left, it means he couldn’t .. something “broke” in him. And you hold him, he also suffers from this..
You see that you are stuck in this, that you have wasted yourself.. It is hard for you..
But it shouldn't break you!
Faith is very important. You need to believe in yourself.
Get over this terrible streak, show yourself that you can enjoy a child. What do you remember what a smile is...
And then no one but yourself will be able to say what achievements you are capable of!
You have a miracle - your baby.
And one day you will wake up and realize how long this pain has disappeared ... At first you will not believe that you have gone through this. Exactly they passed - they didn’t step over, frightened of the test, but they passed!
And that's when you realize how strong you are!
"Yes. I did it. I overcame it. Now everything is gone. And this experience is invaluable, because it created faith and strength in me! I'm done!" - for the sake of these words it is worth taking a step forward - to joy ..
Good luck to you!
You will definitely succeed!
Nina, age: 21 / 14.08.2010
Hello, Natalia!
How to forget and survive a breakup here - perejit.ru. Read, think, apply the recommendations to yourself.
Natalia, all attention is now on the child. Your nervous state is transmitted to him, do not forget about it. In fact, you have not lost anything of value. Your man didn't pass the strength test. As long as there was no responsibility, he was interested in having fun.
As responsibility appeared, the man ran. Everyone loves to ride downhill, but to carry sleds uphill ... He, a fool, does not understand what he is losing - a loving woman and a loving child. All the riches in the world are not worth it. Oh, in the end, your man may still come to his senses and return. Do you just need one?
Natalya, God gave a child, and He will give a child. God does not take back his words, unlike people. Not a single living being can be born without his knowledge. The birth of each of us was conceived by God even before the beginning of time. He will not let you or your child perish, you just need to trust Him, the Merciful, without any doubt. The tangle of problems will gradually unravel, but you can’t give up, but try and try. And do not think about how to explain to a five-month-old baby that he does not have a dad.
Firstly, he has a biological father, he has not disappeared anywhere, paternity, if necessary, can be proved on the basis of DNA analysis; secondly, the real father of the child becomes the one who takes responsibility for his upbringing.
And I really hope that such a serious, loving and responsible man will soon appear in the life of you and your child.
God bless you all the best!
German , age: 36 / 08/15/2010
NATALIA, in our city (and this is a republic of the Muslim faith), some kind of incomprehensible fashion has appeared, girls get married to give birth and get divorced. So that later how they can have fun, they live with each other, the sponsors are not sponsors, she came and left when she wanted, and ours, mind you, still have to resist the humiliation from relatives, of course this is not about me, I myself would like to take life easier, but with our tukhum, it’s not easy, unlike you, forgive me for touching on such a sensitive topic of nationalities .. But still, look around, open your eyes wider, be patient until you grow up, and it will become easier there, communicate, don’t be alone, silence and loneliness are now for you enemy,. I wish you peace of mind.
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Sabina, age: 08/30/2010
Natalia, there are a lot of single mothers.
Before your child is old enough to be interested in this question, things can change many times over. You, for example, can meet a worthy man and start a family.
Now there are a lot of single mothers, and the boy will not suffer from his dissimilarity to others. If he gets enough love from you. He may not have a dad, but he has a loving mother!
JuliaA, age: 35/15.08.2010
Natalochka ... the main thing is that someone else does not have to explain to your son why he does not have a mother. It is most important.
There are many of these now - half-men, half-children. A little somewhere feelings "cooled" (supposedly) - and that's it. No responsibility, no sense of duty. Why are you such a half-man? Well Herman wrote, re-read. It is clear that you are in pain now, difficult and lonely, but you are not alone in reality.
You have your son, it is such happiness. Believe me, a woman who has been unsuccessfully trying to bear a child for 13 years - you are very, very happy. And you and your baby will definitely have a real DAD in your life, what my stepfather has become for me (even the word "stepfather" to write about dad Lesha is somehow awkward, even ashamed). You hold on, solve problems as they arise and enlarge, and also go to this site, it helped me a lot in its time. https://perejit.ru/
Honey, hold on, the pain will pass - You have someone to live for!
Irina, age: 36 / 08/15/2010
Natasha, now - at this very moment when you read my answer - you must say to yourself "STOP ... I will no longer regret anything, cry, blame anyone."
Said? Calmed down?
Now look carefully at your life - you are healthy, thanks to your betrothed you spent 3 years of an unforgettable, joyful life, the fruit of this love is your baby, baby, your future intercessor, protector, prayer book for you, who will bring you a hundred times grandchildren :) Now Natasha understand how happy you are? How much has the Lord of joy done for you?
You can't Natasha - ask yourself now unnecessary questions "why?".
Not the time and not the place. Life will put everything in its place.
Did you love him? If so, then for the sake of this love she must accept his decision to leave. No matter how much it hurts you - you should think about him. Will he be better off without you? Apparently yes. So you have to reconcile - this is your power of love.
And Natasha, if you believe in God, ask Him and especially the Mother of God daily in prayer for help for you and the baby.
I kiss you tightly and hug you. May everything be fine with you
Sveta, age: 28 / 15.08.2010
Mom and son are family. And how many single women will envy you a thousand times more, because you have a son - your concern, your joy and consolation. And if you also educate him correctly, then in the future your breadwinner, support and protector.
And the time is now such that you don’t have to explain much to your son: he will go to kindergarten - and there are half of these kids.
A good strong family today, alas, is a rarity. At least don't take that into your head.
And don’t break your head over the act of your ex-husband. He felt good with you - he was good, but a child appeared, new worries, sleepless nights - and now he has become more comfortable and good in another place. Dragonflies...
Think of yourself and your son, Natasha. Either this miracle will return to you when the baby grows up and the house stops smelling like diapers, or another one will come.
Take care of yourself and your health. It is very harmful for children to have an unhappy mother. Try to walk more often with the baby, invite friends and friends to visit. Just don't complain to them! This - forbid yourself, because words only reinforce trouble. Don't let her rule you! You are still so young, girl, you still have so much happiness ahead of you! Save yourself for him.
Agnia Lvovna, age: 70 / 08/15/2010
Hello, Natalia.
I understand how hard it is for you that you were left not only without the father of your child, but also without your beloved man. I won’t say words like “Time heals”, but there will be hard days and you know it, but you you will survive them, you are not alone, you are TOGETHER. Look at your baby, look at how he sleeps, how he quietly snuffles in a dream, how he yawns and smiles - he sees you in a dream - HER MOTHER. What a wonderful word MOM!!! , you are strong, you are not alone now ... I had a girlfriend, now she is gone, she committed suicide. She has been gone for 2 years. She left (at that time a four-year-old daughter). You have no idea how hard it is to watch this child, how she looks at the children and hears that they are calling their mothers, but she cannot call anyone when the holiday is in the kindergarten on March 8, and she has no one to congratulate, as she comes every day from the kindergarten, runs up to her photo and tells how a day has passed. It's TERRIBLE, LOM IN THE THROAT! And now she is going to grade 1, but her mother will not see this, and she would so much like to brag about the first Yaterka .
.. Before you do something, think about your MOST IMPORTANT MAN - ABOUT YOUR SON!!! Now HE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE. And the rest will come with time, you just have to wait ....
Tatyana, age: 30 / 08/16/2010
thank you for your support, you write to me that I might meet a person, but I understand that no one needs a single mother. I am bitter and hurt that I have deprived my child of a family
Natalia, age: 28 / 18.08.2010
Natalia! everything passes, pray that God would send you with your son, a good, kind person who will become a friend to you and a father to your child. Sometimes you don’t need to try to understand people, why he loved, but did so. This is his way.
Your path is different. We are with you, Natasha. We experience and feel your pain. I myself experienced a breakup, my husband left when my son was 2 years old. I wanted to fall asleep and not wake up, every morning brought the pain of realizing that nothing could be fixed.
For me, the family was the most important thing. But my son and I managed and survived everything and became happy
Nata, age: 33 / 08/19/2010
Natasha, don't worry! Well, I'm a single mother with two boys. One and a half, the other 7. So what? There was also love, I loved him very much and cared, tried to be an ideal wife. And the hostess, and well-groomed and with the appearance of problems have never been. At some point, he began to raise his hand to me, left, came, begged to forgive, just like everyone else. Only each time he went further and further. Kicked him out of the house. Painfully? Terrible. Scary? YES. But what can you do? Well, it doesn't add up. and, you know, I'm happier. I work, the eldest will go to school, I took the nanny, they began to go to the pool, to theaters with the eldest. Homes are brighter and calmer. I began to look better, confidence appeared, a friend appeared who helps us a lot. Everything got better.
