How to get my child motivated in school

How to Help Your Child Get Motivated in School

If you have a child who is struggling in school and doesn’t seem to be motivated to make an effort, the first thing you want to do is explore whether there is some obstacle getting in his way. Learning issues, social challenges, attention or emotional problems can all cause kids to disengage academically.

But not all kids who are underperforming in school—clearly not living up to their potential—have a diagnosable problem. And there are a number of things parents can do to help motivate kids to try harder.

As a parent, your presence in the academic life of your child is crucial to her commitment to work. Do homework with her, and let her know that you’re available to answer questions. Get in the habit of asking her about what she learned in school, and generally engage her academically. By demonstrating your interest in your child’s school life, you’re showing her school can be exciting and interesting. This is especially effective with young kids who tend to be excited about whatever you’re excited about. Teenagers can bristle if they feel you are asking too many questions, so make sure you are sharing the details of your day, too. A conversation is always better than an interrogation.

Likewise, it’s important to stay involved but give older kids a little more space. If you’re on top of your daughter all the time about homework, she may develop resistance and be less motivated to work—not to mention the strain it will put on your relationship.

Many parents are nervous about rewarding kids for good work, and it’s true that tangible rewards can turn into a slippery slope. But there are ways to use extrinsic motivation that will eventually be internalized by your kid. “Kids respond really well to social reinforcers like praises, hugs, high fives, and those kinds of things,” says Laura Phillips, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “Then they start to achieve because it feels good for them. ”

Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute encourages parents to use rewarding activities that would have probably occurred either way, but placing them after a set amount of time doing homework. He suggests treats that are easy to provide but that your child will enjoy, such as going for ice cream or sharing a candy bar. He also recommends breaking work up in chunks and using small breaks as rewards for getting through each chunk.

The message you want to send is that your respect hard work. Praising kids for following through when things get difficult, for making a sustained effort, for trying things they’re not sure they can do successfully, can all help teach them the pleasure of pushing themselves. Praise for good grades that come easily can make kids feel they shouldn’t have to exert themselves.

For older kids who have developed an understanding of delayed gratification, sometimes simple reminders of their long-term goals can help push them. It can help many high school seniors who slack off after getting into college to remind them that they could lose their acceptance if their grades drop too much, or they might not be prepared for college courses. “Linking school up with their long-term goals can make the work feel more personally fulfilling,” explains Dr. Phillips.

No one can get A’s on every test or perfect scores on every assignment. While kids need encouragement and it’s healthy to push them to try their best, know that setbacks are natural. Sometimes the only way kids learn how to properly prepare for school is by finding out what happens when they’re unprepared.

One way to take a little tension away from your relationship with your child is finding an older student (either at their school or a nearby college) to help him out with work. Most will charge pretty low rates, and the fact that they’re closer to your kid’s age may make it more likely he’ll listen to what they say.

“Homework was a source of conflict for us,” says Elizabeth, whose son Alex has ADHD. Elizabeth hired a few Barnard students to help Alex do his homework on certain nights, she recalls. “He behaved a lot better with them, and it was money well spent for me because I wasn’t fighting and I wasn’t stressed out.”

Another one of the most important things you can do for your child is to work with his teacher. The teacher might have additional insight about how to motivate your child, or what he might be struggling with. Likewise you can share any strategies or information that you have.

When her son was in lower school and only had one teacher, Elizabeth would call his teacher before the first day, introducing herself and alerting the teacher that her son had ADHD and that he found it hard to focus. She would give the teacher little tips that she had found were useful with Alex: Writing multi-step directions on the board, tapping him on the shoulder while walking past to make sure he was paying attention, and other small tweaks that would be useful to any young child but are especially essential to one with ADHD.

“Make sure that both school and home are of one accord,” stresses Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Dr. Carothers often sets up a system she calls the daily report card. With this system, the child gets points from his teacher for things like completing work and following directions the first time he gets them. Then he brings those points home, where his parents give him small rewards, such as extra time on the iPad or playing a game together.

It can be just as frustrating to watch your child withdraw from school as it can be difficult for the kid himself to focus. Elizabeth says that she often feels judged as a parent for having a son who struggles so much in school.

Some schools have support groups for parents of kids who are less motivated, and if your child’s school doesn’t, Elizabeth encourages setting one up. “It’s very comforting to hear that you’re not alone,” she says. “It’s also helpful to hear people who have gone ahead of you talk about how to navigate the school’s system, find a therapist, and talk to teachers. ”

“If you’re feeling yourself getting really angry or frustrated with your kids, take a step back,” Dr. Carothers recommends. “Put things into context.”

It’s also important to keep your goals in perspective: Your child may not become a star student. Make sure to focus on the effort she puts in and commitment she shows instead of the outcome. If you expect perfect achievement from a child who struggles in school, you’ll drive yourself crazy.

“I’m not trying to get my child to be someone he’s not,” Elizabeth says about her efforts to help her son. “I just want him to reach his potential.”

Helping Your Child Succeed - Homework Motivation for Kids

How do you motivate a child who doesn’t seem to want to do his school work?

As parents, we are invested in our child’s academic life because we know how important it is for their future. Unfortunately, our kids don’t always seem to share our concern about their future. We know this because they continue to prioritize watching YouTube, gaming, and hanging out with their friends over their school work.

Why aren’t our kids motivated to do well in school? After all, it’s in their self-interest to do well. Why don’t they want to succeed as much as we want them to succeed?

Here’s the problem. School is an aspect of life that requires discipline and work, and kids need to learn to buy into the value of doing well. Your child must own the importance of doing well himself. Motivation can’t be forced. And if you try to force your child to be motivated, it almost always makes things worse.

Nevertheless, there are positive steps that you can take to help your child motivate himself to do better in school. Most of these steps involve setting up a structure to enable him to have better discipline and follow-through. This structure improves your child’s chance of success, and the taste of success is often what drives motivation.

In my work with parents and kids over the years, I have found the following 10 tips to help put your child in the best position to succeed and be motivated in school.

1. Stay Positive

Keep a relationship with your child that is open, respectful, and positive. Remind yourself that you and your child are on the same team. This will allow you to be influential, which is your most important parenting tool.

Punishing, preaching, and threatening will get you nowhere and will be detrimental to your relationship and their motivation. Your feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear are normal and understandable. But reacting to your kids out of these emotions is ineffective and makes things worse.

Remember, your child is not behaving this way on purpose to make your life miserable. When you feel yourself getting worked up, try saying to yourself, “My child is just not there yet.”

And remind yourself that your job is to help him learn how to be responsible. If you get negative and make this a moral issue, then your child might become defiant, reacting to you instead of thinking through things himself.

2.

One of life’s lessons is that we get paid after we do the work. So start saying things like:

“When you finish studying, you are welcome to go to your friend’s house.”

Or:

“When your homework is completed, we can discuss watching that movie you wanted to see on Netflix.”

Enforce this rule and stick to it. If your child does not yet have the necessary discipline, this will help to create it.

Indeed, by enforcing the “when you” rule, you are helping her learn how to do what her brain is not yet equipped to do, which is to be disciplined and to delay gratification.

3. Create Structure for Your Child

If your child is not studying and his grades are dropping, you have a right to get involved, whether he wants you there or not. Again, you’re not there to do the work for him. Instead, you are there to help set up the structure that he cannot create for himself.

The structure might include scheduled study times, having the computer out in a public place in your home, and saying, “No video games or electronics until after your homework is done. ”

You might decide that he must devote a certain amount of hours to study time. During this time, no electronics or other distractions are allowed. You might make the rule that even if he finishes all his homework, he must complete study time by reviewing, reading, or editing.

Some kids do better listening to music while they study, and that’s okay. But keep in mind that this can be tricky because their music is usually integrated with their phones. This means YouTube, Twitter, Reddit, and instant messaging will all be at their fingertips.

If you can’t effectively keep them off those apps, then no phone and no music until their work is done. Just say:

“You can listen to music when you finish your homework.”

Think of it this way: schools don’t allow phones in class, and neither should you.

Understand that this structure is not a punishment. Rather, it is a way to help him to develop a good work ethic and to focus on his school subjects.

4. Meet With the Teacher

If your child’s grades and work habits are not up to par, you can set up a plan by sitting down with him and his teachers.

Have your child check with his teacher each day before coming home to ensure that he has all his homework assignments.

Also, you can ask him each morning to ensure that he brings his homework back to school. For me, nothing was more frustrating than my son doing his homework but then forgetting to bring it to school.

Once your child gets better at managing his time, completing his work, and getting organized, then it’s time for you to back off. Let him do it on his own. Only step in if he is consistently having a problem.

5. Identify a Study Spot

Your child may need a quiet location away from brothers and sisters to study. Or she may do better in a room near others. You can help her experiment, but once you find what works best, keep her in that location.

To keep your child focused, you may need to sit with her while she does her homework. You can read a book or newspaper while she works. At a minimum, be nearby to help ensure that she stays on track.

It’s okay to help her with her homework if she is stuck, but don’t do her work for her. For example, it’s okay to review her work and ask her if a certain paragraph makes sense to her. But it’s not okay to write every sentence or work on every math problem with her. Give just enough help to get her over the hump. Remember, learning how to struggle through difficult material is one of the skills your child needs to learn.

6. Break Assignments Into Manageable Pieces

Decide together whether you need to help him break down his assignments into smaller pieces and organize on a calendar what he should get done each day.

You can get him a big wall calendar or a whiteboard. It could be electronic if that is preferable, but I prefer written tools because electronics can be distracting.

7. Be Firm and Consistent with Homework Rules

You want to be positive and helpful to your child. At the same time, though, you have to be firm. You have to consistently enforce the rules you establish.

Being firm and consistent sends the message to your child that you know he can succeed.

Being firm also means that you enforce the rules with effective consequences. If he doesn’t follow the rules you set up, apply the consequences. And don’t try to shield him from the natural consequences of not doing his work, even if that means bad or failing grades.

In being firm, stay positive. For every negative interaction with your child, try to create ten positive ones. Try to put the focus on supporting and encouraging him instead of worrying and nagging.

And don’t take his performance personally. When you start to believe his grades are a reflection of you or your parenting, then you will be on his case, and it will make things worse.

8. Be Aware of His Anxiety Level

Recognize that much of your child’s lack of motivation (or what looks like irresponsibility) might be his anxiety or shame about academics and schoolwork. Kids may not be able to explain all of this to you because it’s not always on a conscious level for them.

Anxiety can be misinterpreted as a lousy attitude, lack of motivation, and irresponsibility. Often, the cover-up for these vulnerable emotions can take the form of acting out, shutting down, avoidance, or defiance.

While a little anxiety can motivate, too much blocks your child’s ability to think and to have access to the part of the brain that helps him with motivation.

Keep your emotions in check by recognizing that it may be your child’s anxiety at play rather than his laziness. Calmly help to give him a better structure to get his work done, and it will help reduce his anxiety.

And remember that what is happening now may look very different as your child matures and develops.

9. Don’t Over-Function For Your Child

It’s nerve-wracking and frustrating to see your child struggle and not meet his potential. You may feel that your child’s lack of motivation is a poor reflection on your parenting. In response, you react and shift into overdrive to get your child to succeed so that your feelings of shame, embarrassment, failure, or fear go away.

In the process, you may be tempted to over-function by helping to complete his work for him. But don’t do it. Resist the temptation. The more you over-function for your child, the more he will react to your anxiety, which causes things to go further and further downhill. Just set up the structure to help him succeed, but let him do the work and bear the consequences, good or bad.

Be your child’s coach. Set the strategy and give direction, but stay on the sidelines and let your child play the game—Root for him to win and praise him when he does. But don’t be afraid to let him fail. It’s all part of growing up and learning to take responsibility.

10. Don’t Obsess About the Future

When your child seems to have no interest in his life, it’s easy to start fast-forwarding into the future. When he acts like he doesn’t care about anything except video games and his friends, you worry that he won’t be successful or even function on his own. This heightens your anxiety and fear.

But none of us have a crystal ball or can see into the future. Focusing on the negative things your child is doing will only bring the spotlight on them and may set you both up for a power struggle. Instead, focus on your child’s positive traits and help him work on those in the present.

Is he outgoing? Helpful? A good cook? Good with cars or electronics? Focus on all the things that go into a developed, successful person, not just academics and grades. Help your child develop in social, creative, and emotional ways. Remember to always keep the big picture in mind.

Conclusion

For all of these tips, start from where your child is. What I mean is that, in many cases, your child may have a long way to go, and you don’t want to overwhelm him by trying to work on too many issues at once.

Expect that your child won’t like the structure at first, but he will get used to it. Be patient. Don’t expect improvement overnight, but don’t underestimate your child either. Be confident that he will come around and will improve with the structures you have put in place.

Related content:
Sinking Fast at School: How to Help Your Child Stay Afloat
“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over School Work

How to motivate your child to learn: simple ways that will help you

Surely every parent has at least once wondered how to teach a child to be independent without hassle and disappointment? How to teach children to do homework with joy, to make the learning process exciting for the children themselves. Our new blogger Anna Chirkova tells how to work with children's motivation.

In recent years, the practice of teachers shows that the number of children who do not seek knowledge is constantly growing. It appears even in primary school students.

Unwillingness to learn is manifested in the fact that children forget to do their homework, their textbooks and desks are messy, they draw in class, look out the window, talk to classmates, they are bored in class. Such children may blame teachers for their poor grades, but most often they do not care at all about poor performance.

Why do children not want to study? Even teachers with experience are not always ready to unequivocally answer this question, but we will try to give the simplest and most effective ways to motivate your child.

There are many reasons why children do not want to study. Let's analyze some of them.

1. The child is too small for school. Parents think that their children are ready for school if they see that they know a lot for their age. But even if your child is smart enough, and you think not to take him an extra year to kindergarten, this does not mean that he is psychologically ready for school. Most likely, the child will not be able to obey certain rules. In addition, it is more difficult for young children to sit for a long time in the classroom without moving.

2. Conflicts with teachers. Often, even the teachers themselves are not aware of the conflict with their pupils. They may notice that the student has poor academic performance, his behavior has changed, although, as it seems to the teacher, there was no conflict as such. In fact, the child could hear unpleasant words addressed to him or hold a grudge against the teacher's behavior. The child may feel depressed, feel fear, he develops a negative attitude towards the teacher. In most cases, children do not want to tell their parents about their fears related to school, this preserves the conflict and the difficulties associated with it.

3. Conflicts with students. If such a problem has already developed, then it can be very difficult to correct it without consequences for the child.

4. Physical defects. For example, stuttering, trembling of the limbs, and others. It is very difficult for children to get used to the idea that they are somehow different from their peers. It becomes especially difficult in cases where the shortcomings cause bullying and laughter from classmates. Knowing about his problem, the child does not want to become the center of attention, feel humiliated and once again appear at school.

5. Family conflicts. Scandals between parents and other family members. Often such a child closes in on himself due to experiences, he not only loses his motivation for learning, he is rarely interested in anything at all.

6. Pressure on the child from parents and relatives . We set high standards for children, sending them to the best schools where education is conducted at a higher level, we enroll in various sections. Just imagine how many sections parents try to send their children to without taking into account the opinion of the children themselves. Parents scream, get indignant, scold children if they bring bad grades or simply do not reach the results of their classmates. Think about it, maybe you are putting too much pressure on the children, forcing them to do what they do not want.

What factors influence interest in learning

1. Interest in the subjects studied . Often, children lose interest in studying some subjects just because they seem boring to children. However, you need to make it clear to the child that in all lessons they give the necessary information that develops different skills, so it is important to study all subjects. There are many disciplines, the study of which requires more work. In this case, you need to find another motivation. Much depends on the teacher, who is able to explain complex things in simple language and thus simplify the learning process.

2. Method of studying objects . In elementary grades, it is much easier for children to learn with the help of active methods, discussions and games. The teacher should pay attention to the fact that tasks like “rewriting textbooks” and “working on our own” reduce interest in the subject, while creative and various unusual ones, on the contrary, increase.

3. Perception of information . Some children perceive information better through sight, others through hearing, others through images. The effectiveness of teaching children largely depends on the type of perception of information. Parents themselves can choose the ways of teaching the child if they understand his peculiarities of perception of information.

4. Teacher's interest . When a teacher intrigues students with a personal example, shows a positive attitude towards the subject, then children also become interested in what they are taught. When they know that they will hear something funny or interesting in class, they look forward to these items with joy.

What are the types of motivation

Motivation is one of the most important conditions for successful learning. The most significant for students are the following motives:

• cognitive, that is, the desire to know more, to become erudite;
• communicative - expanding the circle of communication through an increase in the intellectual level and new acquaintances;
• emotional;
• self-development - disclosure of one's abilities and talents;
• student position;
• achievements;
• external - rewards, punishments.

In addition, motives are divided into external (social) and internal (cognitive). An example of extrinsic motivation: "I need to pass the exam so that my parents don't scold me." Intrinsic motivation: "I really like literature lessons, so I read every free minute, I learn something new with every book I read."

There are two more types of motivation - stable and unstable. An example of sustainable motivation: "Since the day I entered the drawing school, I have never regretted that I chose this particular section." Unstable: “I went to a concert, I also wanted to play some instrument, I started studying, but after a while I quit.”

Most often, children's motivation is unstable due to the fact that they are very emotional. It is very easy to interrupt old ones with new emotions and impressions.

It is very difficult for a child who is not interested in learning to apply the acquired knowledge in practice, and the lack of motivation for the learning process leads to chronic academic failure. Why is this happening? Often the parents are to blame.

Of course, only you can choose how to properly raise your child, but his and your life depends on this choice. Not all parents realize what mistakes they make in the process of motivating their children. Consider not all, but the most relevant of them, which are most often found among parents.

1. Lowering your child's self-esteem, programming for failure. This happens when you tell a child that nothing good will come of him, that he will become a janitor if he does not study well. Such words lead to an underestimation of self-esteem, in case of any failures, the child lets go of his hands, completes what he started at the slightest problem.

2. Deception and intimidation . If you use such methods, the connection and trust between you and your child will be destroyed.

3. Exaggerated demands, not taking into account the child's capabilities . The parent may think that the child is lazy or “not studying on purpose”, while there may be specific reasons (mental developmental features, illness, fatigue).

4. Gifts in exchange for good academic performance . There are many downsides to this method. The child quickly develops a habit of getting what he wants through good grades. In the future, he may begin to demand a reward and fulfill your requests only after receiving what he wants. Such children are only aimed at receiving presents, and not at good studies.

5. Motivated by success . Often, parents assure the child that all his actions should be aimed at success and high status in society. In the future, such children grow up to be people who do everything for the sake of success and money, and not because it brings them positive emotions or is aimed at helping loved ones.

6. Excessive workload in various activities and sections . Modern parents like to plan their children's schedule as tightly as possible so that they spend their time with benefit every day. The child's psyche may not be able to withstand such a load, so you will get a complete lack of interest in classes.

How to increase motivation to study

Play is a unique instrument of pedagogical influence. If the child does not want to learn or something does not work out for him, you can always come up with a game in which he will be able to complete the tasks you have given.

These can be intellectual exercise games, training games based on competition. They show schoolchildren the level of their preparedness and fitness. By comparing with the opposite team, students themselves see their gaps in knowledge, this encourages cognitive activity in them.

The game form does not involve standard student assessment, so even lagging children can be interested.

Do not impose your favorite activities, let him pursue his hobby. Help children discover their hidden talents or develop those they already have, let them freely choose what interests them.

Encourage the child, praise for the result, but do not do it in the form of money and in the form of expensive gifts. Otherwise, the time will come when the child wants to sell you the results of his labor at a higher price. For example, the rule "For every correct task - 1 candy" works much better than "For every five in the diary - a cake." Candy is a kind of guarantee that difficult homework is done in an atmosphere of trust, which in itself is already a motivation.

Show him how to apply what he has learned, discuss his stories together. Encourage your child to think and discuss as often as possible. Remember that any grades are a subjective thing, this is not an indicator of your child's knowledge, but only his assessment by teachers.

A child does not have to be an excellent student, he has the right to receive bad marks. If he himself was upset because of the deuce - support and never scold. After all, first of all, you should be his friend and partner.

Tell the children how you yourself overcame difficulties in school, how you coped with difficult tasks. Show what you have achieved now that you have walked this path. Talk together about your failures and fears.

The child should always know that he will be heard, and problems will not be exaggerated. Explain that stress is an integral part of life, teach how to cope with it so that in the future the child can overcome it himself.

Motivation for learning does not develop overnight, sometimes it takes a lot of effort and time. If you have missed something in raising your child, it is never too late to start building your relationship on the basis of trust and understanding.

Do not motivate your child with distant and illusory goals incomprehensible to his age. Every parent must find where the potential of their children lies. Try to reveal his talents from different angles, give him the opportunity to prove himself. Look for inclinations in your children for some kind of activity, show by your own example that we are learning new things all our lives, that there are many interesting things in life.

Do not forget that in no case should you beat, humiliate, yell at a child, because school will end sooner or later, but your relationship will remain. According to the research of E. N. Volkova, the majority of children living in families in which severe physical, emotional, and other types of violence are used have signs of a delay in physical and neuropsychic development. Their memory deteriorates, the processes of memorization and retention are difficult, selectivity in memorization increases sharply. Attention becomes scattered, speech becomes poorer, stuttering appears. Children do much worse at school, the processes of school adaptation are more difficult.

Imagine what kind of person your child will be at the end of the learning journey. The time spent studying is very valuable for his formation as a person, do not miss it!

Photo: Shutterstock (granata68)

How to motivate your child to study - Tips on how to get your child excited about school

School is an important stage in a child's life. He receives the necessary knowledge, socializes and prepares for adulthood. But not all children love to learn. Some perceive study as a boring and useless pastime. But without interest and motivation, there will be no good results. Therefore, parents should try to captivate the student with studies, make sure that he likes it. Let's figure out how to motivate your child to study at school.

What determines good performance at school

The following factors influence a child's success in school

Way of perception of information. There are several channels of perception of information - visual, auditory, tactile. Some children remember the material better when they see the text in front of their eyes and read it. Others are more comfortable listening to information. For the third, it is important to write down the material so that the motor memory works. If the child uses the channel of perception that is most developed in him, learning will be easier.

By knowing these factors, you can influence your son's or daughter's academic performance.

Motivating children: how to motivate a child to study

There are two types of motivation - external and internal. External motivation is the circumstances that make the child learn. They can be either positive (reward) or negative (punishment). Anything can act as a reward: praise from parents and teachers, respect from classmates, material incentives (money, gifts, sweets), receiving any opportunities (permission to go to the movies with friends, play computer games, go to summer camp and etc.). The child wants to get some of the above, so he tries to earn good grades.

TUMBLING does not support the idea of ​​praising with gifts, but with all hands "for" giving cool desktops for no reason :) cartoons, they won’t let you go on a picnic with friends). The fear of such deprivation motivates the student to study. A reward and punishment system can be an effective way to motivate a lazy child to learn.

Intrinsic motivation is associated with the educational activity itself and its significance for the student. Intrinsic motivation can also be positive and negative. Having a positive motivation, the child learns not in order to receive a reward or avoid punishment, but because he likes to do it, and he understands that knowledge will be useful in the future.

The negative motivation is the understanding that without a good study it will not be possible to enter a prestigious university and get the desired profession. The learning process itself may not be very interesting for a student, but the fear of not getting a decent education and becoming a loser in adulthood motivates him to study.

Internal positive motivation is the most productive. The desire to get a good education and become a sought-after specialist best stimulates the child. It is internal motivation that helps to overcome any difficulties and confidently go towards your goal.

How to captivate a schoolchild with studies: advice from psychologists

If your son or daughter is not particularly interested in studying, and you don't know how to motivate your child to study, psychologists' advice will help you.

Build the learning process in a playful way

Children love to play, so try making your homework fun. For example, when solving examples or problems in mathematics, you can use toys, sweets, buttons, small objects. Toys can act as characters described in the problem statement, and sweets or small items can act as counting material.

Show your imagination, try to explain the material using simple, everyday examples that are easy for a child to understand. And the learning process will bring pleasure not only to the student, but also to you. This is a simple example of how to motivate an elementary school child to study. With a teenager, of course, such methods no longer work. This requires his involvement in the learning process.

Learning by playing with TUMBLING

Support your child's hobbies

If your child likes to do something (sports, art, music or dance), support him. Create favorable conditions for doing what you love - send your son or daughter to a circle or section, organize a place for classes at home. Praise and encourage your child for success.

If he doesn't like one activity and wants to try something new, don't interfere. Let him seek himself, discover and develop his talents. Motivate your child to learn something and do what they like. Children who are passionate about something usually learn better than those who do nothing.

Don't focus on grades

For some parents, it's important that their child gets an "excellent" grade. They are not interested in knowledge, but in high marks. What's wrong with this approach? By focusing on grades, you distort the child's motivation. And he begins to study not for the sake of knowledge, but for the sake of "fives".

Children who are scolded by their parents for bad grades worry about every B, and a C in general becomes a tragedy. Such children are in constant tension, often begging for “five” from teachers, putting pressure on pity. It doesn’t matter to them how well they know the subject, it is important for them that the treasured number “5” is in the diary.

So shift the focus from grades to real knowledge. Praise the student not for the "five", but for the efforts that he makes during his studies. If he's upset about a bad grade, comfort him. Tell him that next time he will succeed, you just need to work hard.

Take an interest in your child's progress in school

Show a sincere interest in your child's school affairs. Ask how the day went, what new things he learned, what interesting things happened in the lessons. Discuss the material studied with your son or daughter, think about how new knowledge can be applied in life.

Tell your child about your school years, what subjects you liked and were good at, and which ones you didn't. Become a faithful comrade and a wise mentor for him, who will always help and support.

Organize a workplace

If a student does not have normal conditions for studying at home, his academic performance will be lame. Give him a place where he can calmly do his homework, and no one will interfere with him. Well, if it will be a separate room. If the student is doing homework in the common room, turn off the TV and try not to make noise when he is studying. Do not let younger brothers or sisters interfere with the student and distract him.

School helpers and whiteboards

Teach your child how to deal with stress

The learning process is stressful. Preparing for a difficult test, speaking in front of a class, and other moments cause stress that reduces the desire to learn. Explain to the student that stress is a normal reaction of the psyche to a collision with something difficult or unusual.

Tell your child how you dealt with fear and anxiety when you were in school. Teach him relaxation and stress management techniques. The child should know that in a difficult situation you will always help him.

Explain to your child why learning is important and why learning is important

It is difficult for younger students to understand how the knowledge they receive at school can be useful in the future. They perceive all talk about entering a university and about future work as something abstract and very distant.

Tell us about your personal experience, about how studying at school helped you succeed in life. Give examples from the life of relatives and acquaintances who are an authority for your child and whom he wants to be equal to. If there are no such people in your environment, remember the famous personalities who achieved success through hard work on themselves.

Notice positive changes

In order for a child to be motivated to learn, he must see the results of his work. For example, a first grader learns to write beautifully, develops handwriting. Save the notebook with the sloppy handwriting and then compare it with the notebook where the handwriting is better and show it to your child. Say that the handwriting has improved because of his efforts and will continue to improve if you put effort into it. The visual result of the work will increase the motivation of the student.

What not to do in order not to discourage interest in learning

There are things that should not be done, so as not to make the child disgusted with studies and school in general.

• Do not force your son or daughter to study . Oddly enough, but the surest way to discourage a child's interest in learning is to force him to study. Children do not like being forced to do something, they automatically have a rejection of things that they have to do through force. If a child does not want to learn, it will be difficult to motivate him. Try to organize the learning process so that he wants to learn on his own, without pressure from outside.
• Don't demand high performance in all subjects. It is rare that someone can perfectly know all school subjects. Most children have the ability to some specific sciences - exact (mathematics, physics) or humanitarian (history, geography, Russian or foreign languages). Find out which items are best for your son or daughter and focus on them. Of course, the rest of the lessons should not be abandoned, but it is also not necessary to force the child to learn everything perfectly.
• Do not focus on mistakes and failures. Some parents like to point out to their children every mistake. At the same time, successes are almost not noticed and taken for granted. This is the wrong strategy to motivate a child to study well. You need to do exactly the opposite: praise for successes and not pay too much attention to mistakes, perceiving them as an integral part of any training.
• Don't overpraise. Praise plays a big role in motivating a student. However, it is also impossible to overpraise the child. If you admire every "A" you get as if your child had passed a calculus exam, they will not have an incentive to strive for something more. Praise should be adequate to the success of the student.
• Do not overload your child. If a child attends several circles, helps you around the house, and besides this, he also sits with his younger brother or sister when you are at work, then he simply will not be able to study well. Sooner or later, overwork will make itself felt. Of course, studying at school is not a reason to free a son or daughter from all duties and affairs. We need to find a balance between work and leisure. The student should have enough time to do homework, relax and do other things.
• Don't focus on studying. Some parents and other relatives talk to their children only about studies, about grades, about school.

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