How many gifts should i buy my child for christmas

How Many Gifts Should A Child Get For Christmas? Experts Weigh In

Last year, my 7-year-old ripped open his last present under the tree, looked around at all the fun and chaos, and said, “Wait, was that the last one?” Needless to say, that’s definitely not the vibe I’m looking for this year.

As a mom of four sons under seven, walking the line of getting “enough” gifts, while maintaining a reasonable budget and making everyone happy, seems like a completely impossible task. I don’t want massive piles of gifts that break the bank and give my kids unrealistic expectations of, well, reality. But I hate the idea of going too minimalistic and disappointing my kids, too. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that I know how fortunate I am to be in this situation: debating how many presents vs. whether my kids will have any.

So, as we approach another holiday shopping season, I found myself asking others, and the experts — how many gifts “should” a kid get for Christmas?

Of course the answer will vary widely, based on family size and budget constraints, traditions and expectations. It also varies with age, according to Lisa Phillips, MSW, LMSW Parent Educator at The Parenting Center at Children's Hospital New Orleans. Breaking down just how many gifts a child can developmentally appreciate and process gave me some real guidelines to consider this year, and helped me realize that in spite of my kids’ dismay, it might not be the same number for all age groups (*gasp*). Here’s what she, and purposeful play expert and educator, and mom of four Alanna Gallo, recommends for each age group.

But first, we’ll stipulate that kids don’t “need” any of this to grow into happy, well-adjusted adults, and if your resources are tight this year, whatever you can do is just fine.

2-4 year olds

My youngest kids, who fall in this age group, would undoubtedly be happy with a dollar store doll and a large roll of wrapping paper to trash my house with. Yet I already have multiple ideas for them brewing, as they are coming up on prime time “toy” loving age, which I need to keep in check.

“Young children naturally have fairly short attention spans, and while we may think the way to encourage independent play is to have lots of toys always available, that doesn't often work. Caregivers may notice that having a lot of toys may mean that a child actually plays less independently,” Phillips says. She points to research that has fueled minimalists’ credos for years, proving that young kids with access to fewer toys played longer and more creatively than those with too many available.

Gallo adds kids in this age group aren’t really counting presents, so not to stress too much about that. So, depending on finances and space available, she says just a few more meaningful presents, such as a really nice set of wood blocks they’ll use from now till teenhood is totally reasonable. She also recommends sensory toys, active products with open-ended play options like stepping stones are also high-engagement choices.

5-7 year olds

As kids move into this phase, which is often the heart of childhood Christmas — where Santa is still so real and Christmas morning warrants a three month countdown — the balance is particularly tough. Gallo says that around 6-10 presents in this age group might be ideal, but with some caveats — move out the same amount that is coming in, donating or selling those they don’t use anymore to prevent clutter.

Also, you can consider wrapping parts of gifts, such as a five-pack of books, separately, so they have more to open without spending too much, she adds. It’s also an ideal age to reach out to family members to prevent the plastic jungle from coming in, and instead ask if they’d consider contributing to experiences such as zoo or amusement park memberships that this age group would love all year, Phillips recommends. “Parents can always try to discuss this issue with other family members, who may or may not be receptive,” she says.

8-12 year olds

Though they might be acting like preteens, I’m leaning into holding my newly appointed 8-year-old close this Christmas, teaching all the lessons of gratitude even as big ticket items start landing on his list. “This age group is such a crucial period of development that a lot of parents maybe don’t recognize… a lot of kids start asking for a phone or a tablet… it’s one of those things I feel very strongly about not doing that, because childhood is so fleeting and we’re losing so much of it already,” Gallo says.

Instead, get your child sports addict tickets to their favorite team, and a couple of books related to the game. If live events aren’t in the budget, plan a trip to the sports museum and wrap the tickets, she recommends, pushing for activities the family can enjoy with the child, rather than a phone which might further isolate them. “It’s so ridiculously important for the child in that stage to stay connected to family,” says Gallo. In this and the next stage, presents may be fewer but more expensive or meaningful, with not as many toys in the mix.

13+ year olds

At this age, the Santa magic has likely passed, and it’s okay to have real-talk with teens asking for lots of budget-breaking items, explaining that this is what we typically spend on Christmas, even if it’s not fulfilling every last dream on their wish list. At Gallo’s house, older kids have around six to ten presents if they aren’t ridiculously expensive things, and potentially including anticipated gifts from relatives. But don’t be afraid to talk to them about contributing to larger gifts with your typically budgeted Christmas gifting amount. For example, if you typically spend $200 on them, but they want a laptop, you can contribute the amount you can towards that and they can save, or have other relatives pitch in for a group present that’s “more coordinated,” Gallo recommends.

If a number seems not in the spirit of the season, try a family rule that helps kids understand what Christmas will be like. “There's no clear cut answer to this question [of how many gifts], but many parents worry about overindulgence during the holidays,” Phillips says. “One approach I noticed on social media in the last few years is to encourage children to expect one present from each of the four categories: ‘Something you want, something you need, something you wear, something you read.’ While not every family will want to follow a specific guideline such as this one, others may find communicating expectations to children is helpful to curbing a sense of entitlement.

There are other variations, such as the “7 gift rule” which includes: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read, something to do, something for me, something for the family. Making up your own gift giving tradition in a way that gets everyone involved might lead to more buy in too.

With four kids, this year I’m hoping to involve each of them in giving someone to each of their brothers, in addition to one to two Santa presents while they still believe. In this way, I’m hoping the focus turns a bit more towards giving than it has been in the past, and away from the “Wait, that’s it!” entitled attitude. We’ll see.

Alexandra Frost is a Cincinnati-based freelance journalist, content marketing writer, copywriter, and editor focusing on health and wellness, parenting, real estate, business, education, and lifestyle. Away from the keyboard, Alex is also mom to her four sons under age 7, who keep things chaotic, fun, and interesting. For over a decade she has been helping publications and companies connect with readers and bring high-quality information and research to them in a relatable voice. She has been published in the Washington Post, Huffington Post, Glamour, Shape, Today's Parent, Reader's Digest, Parents, Women's Health, and Insider.

Alex has a Master of Arts in Teaching, and a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communications/Journalism, both from Miami University. She has also taught high school for 10 years, specializing in media education.

How Many Christmas Gifts Should a Child Get? | Parenting Tips and more

Christmas is the most awaited event for kids since they wait a whole year to get presents. But, the quantity of Christmas gifts per child has always been confusing for parents. Some parents believe that three gifts are enough, neither more nor less. Some follow the rule of four, others like seven or even ten. In short, parents have set their own Christmas gift-giving rules per child according to their family priorities.

But how many Christmas gifts should a child actually get? How many Christmas presents are enough for kids? And how many gifts are less? No doubt, Christmas is the time of merriment; as a parent, you consider your budget and make sure not to waste your hard-earned money.

Finally, in this post, we’ll discuss how many gifts you should give your children at Christmas. Read it until the end to clarify how many gifts are enough per child.

Each child should get Christmas gifts that make him happy, not spoiled. Nevertheless, quantity doesn’t matter; kids need parents’ attention and a gift of their age and choice. If you give too many gifts to your child, it becomes a number-winning game and, kids focus more on quantity than the quality of gifts.

Whether you are a child or an adult, you might love Santa’s arrival and getting gifts. Some parents follow the rule of three gifts. However, the four-gift rule is equally popular nowadays. I have seen the parents that purchase as many gifts as they can.

But regardless of how many gifts your child gets, you should be aware that what you do in December will impact your child throughout his life. Kids behavior psychologists agree that it promotes materialism in kids. Therefore, It is better to buy 10 to 15 gift items related to kids’ needs such as clothes, stationery, room decor, new beddings, shoes, accessories such as socks and underwear, etc.

Pack these items into 4 to 5 wrapped gifts. In this way, you’ll also be able to satisfy your kids’ gift opening urge, and they’ll be happy to receive gifts.

Some of the Christmas gift rules are explained; let’s have a look:

The three gift-giving rule is based on the same number of gifts that Christ was given. Most parents consider three a magic number and like to gift their kids the same number of items.

According to the 4 gift-giving rules, your child should get one item to read, wear, something they need, and one item of their choice, such as a toy.

In this rule, the four items remain the same as their choice, need, wear, and read. But the gift item is a surprise; it includes something that your kids badly need, but they don’t know. In other words, it’s something that can break the stereotype of no and make your child burst into tears with joy.

In the 10 gifts rule, the four basic things remain the same and, 6 others are added. These include something to give others, something to do for others, a toy or anything to play with as a family, something to make, and footwear.

Small kids are more obsessed with toys. It is better to select something productive that may help your child learn, for example, a learning toy, night storybooks, etc. ; 3 toys are enough for young kids. However, you can select more or less according to your budget.

For school-aged kids, 4 to 5 gifts are enough. You can gift them their favorite toy, a lovely Christmas dress, a pair of Christmas shoes, and some storybooks to read.

For teenagers, the quantity of gifts doesn’t matter. You should select at least three favorite items of your teenager and pack them nicely. If your teenager loves gift opening, you can pack a small gift in a large package. Your teenager will really love and enjoy this gift opening.

Spending 1000s of dollars on kids’ gifts is never a good idea. However, $50 to $200 per child is enough. For siblings, you should divide this amount by the number of siblings and then spend accordingly.

The small items stuffed in stockings are too exciting for kids. Similarly, shirts, socks, and dresses with their favorite printed cartoon characters serve as ideal stocking stuffers. Also, make sure to give an equal number of gifts to all of your kids.

Encourage your kids to donate the toys or other accessories they don’t need before Christmas. In this way, they’ll get space for new presents. Also, set the limit of gifts that your kids receive from their grandparents and other family members.

How many Christmas gifts a child gets is a challenging task for parents. As we know, excess of everything is bad; therefore, you should avoid spending too much on your kid’s gifts. Instead, shop on a budget and never compromise on maintaining discipline at your home. However, you should plan to buy a special gift that can surprise your kid.

New Year: why so many gifts?

New Year

A holiday is the most appropriate occasion to introduce a child to the pleasure of not only receiving, but also giving and giving.

Kind Santa Claus came to us today. And he brought us gifts on the New Year's holiday. This old song is still sung at children's New Year's parties. However, modern children do not have to dream for a long time about the mysterious contents of the New Year's Grandfather's bag. We ourselves unwittingly wean them from this: they still do not have time to want, and we are already buying. And children take our gifts for granted. We usually do not seek to lead them out of this delusion. Rather, on the contrary: a mobile phone, a game battle, a play station, not to mention an avalanche of sweets... All this falls on children like from a cornucopia. We are willing to sacrifice a lot to fulfill their desires.

In the West, parents began to spoil their children too actively around the 60s, when the consumer society was formed. Since then, this trend has only intensified. She also manifests herself in Russia. Will our kids be happier if we turn their rooms into toy stores? Child psychologists Natalia Dyatko and Annie Gatecel, psychotherapists Svetlana Krivtsova, Yakov Obukhov and Stephane Clerget answer this and other questions.

Why do we give gifts to children during the New Year holidays?

The consumer society, in which we have been living for some time now, has declared the possession of a thing to be synonymous with all that is good and right in life. The dilemma "to have or to be" today is reformulated differently: "to have in order to be." We are convinced that the happiness of children is in abundance, and good parents should provide it. As a result, the possibility of incorrectly, not fully realizing the desires and needs of the child frightens many parents - just like the prospect of a lack in the family, causing a feeling of hopelessness, giving rise to a sense of guilt. Some parents, confusing the fleeting desires of their children with what is vital for them, are afraid to deprive them of something essential. It seems to them that the child will get emotionally hurt if, for example, he notices that his classmate or best friend has received more gifts than himself. And parents try, buy more and more . ..

THE TOYS THAT WE GIVE A CHILD OFTEN DO NOT REFLECT HIM BUT OUR WISHES.

An avalanche of gifts can also be caused by our desire to muffle the feeling of our own guilt: “I am rarely with you, I am too busy with work (everyday affairs, creativity, personal life), but I give you all these toys and, therefore, thinking of you!"

Finally, the New Year, Christmas for all of us is an opportunity to return to our own childhood. The less we ourselves received gifts at that time, the more we want our child not to lack them. At the same time, it happens that many gifts simply do not correspond to the age of the children and do not quite suit their tastes. The toys that we give to a child often reflect our own desires: an electric railway that did not exist in childhood, a computer game that we wanted to play for so long ... In this case, we make gifts to ourselves, at the expense of the child we solve our old childhood Problems. As a result, parents play with expensive gifts, and children enjoy such beautiful things as wrapping paper, box or packing tape.

What is the danger of an excess of gifts?

Children often think: the more gifts we receive, the more they love us, the more we mean to their parents. In their minds, the concepts of "love", "money" and "gifts" are confused. Sometimes they simply stop paying attention to those who dare to visit them empty-handed or bring something not expensive enough. They are unlikely to be able to understand the symbolic value of the gesture, the preciousness of the very intention to give a gift. "Gifted" children are constantly in need of new evidence of love. And if they don't, conflicts arise.

Can gifts be rewarded for good behavior or study?

The main thing for a child is to be able to passionately desire something.

We don't have many bright, joyful traditions. Giving gifts for the New Year is one of them. And it should not be made dependent on any conditions. There are far better times to reward or punish a child. And on a holiday, it is better to take the opportunity to get together with the whole family and, together with the child, enjoy the gifts given or received.

Children of divorced parents usually receive more gifts than others. Doesn't it spoil them?

On the one hand, divorced parents experience a strong sense of guilt towards the child and try to muffle it with the help of gifts.

On the other hand, such a child often celebrates the holiday twice: once with dad, the other with mom. Each parent fears that in “that house” the celebration will be better. There is a temptation to buy more gifts - not for the good of the child, but for their own narcissistic interests. Two desires - to give a gift and to win (or confirm) the love of your child - merge into one. Parents compete for their children's favor, and children become hostages of this situation. Having accepted the conditions of the game, they easily turn into eternally dissatisfied tyrants: “Do you want me to love you? Then give me whatever I want!”

How to make sure that the child does not get fed up?

If we do not give a child a chance to train his desires, then, as an adult, he will not be able to really want anything. Of course, there will be desires, but if an obstacle arises on the way to them, he will most likely give up on them. A child will be fed up if we overwhelm him with gifts or let him think that we must definitely give him everything and immediately! Give him time: his needs must grow and mature, he must long for something and be able to express it. So children learn to dream, to postpone the moment of fulfillment of desires, without falling into anger at the slightest frustration *. However, this can be learned every day, and not just on Christmas Eve.

How to avoid unnecessary gifts?

Before you go to the store, think about what your child dreams about. Talk to him about it and if the list is too long, choose the most important one. Of course, for him, not for you.

Gifts with hints?

Young children will certainly be offended if they are presented with school supplies, casual clothes "for growth" or an edifying book like "Rules of good manners". They will not appreciate souvenirs that are meaningless from their point of view, intended not for playing, but for decorating a shelf. Children will perceive it as a mockery and a gift "with a hint" (for the weak - dumbbells, for the shy - the manual "How to Become a Leader"). Gifts are not only an expression of our love and care, but also evidence of how sensitive and respectful we are to our child.

About this

Tatyana Babushkina

“What is stored in childhood pockets”

Agency for educational cooperation, 2004.

March Snyder, Ross Snyder

“Child as a person”

meaning, harmony, 1995.

* EMOTIONAL STATE CAUSED BY AN UNEXPECTED OBSTACLE ON THE WAY TO THE GOAL. MANIFESTS IN A FEELING OF HELELESS, ANXIETY, IRRITATION, GUILTY OR SHAME.

Text: Ilya Medova, Stephanie Thor

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how to get it and who is entitled to it for free

Tamara Skokova

worked in the social protection of the population

Author profile

For some families with children, there are additional social support measures, including New Year gifts from the state.

But not all parents know about it. I will tell you who can receive a gift, where and with what documents to apply for it, and how not to miss the application deadline.

What do you learn

• who are laid for New Year's gifts from social protection
• What does social protection usually gives
• how to get a New Year's gift from social protection
• who else gives New Year's gifts

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Who is eligible for New Year's gifts from social security

At the federal level, there is no law obliging regions to give New Year's gifts to children. This is an initiative of the authorities of the subject of the Russian Federation, which is regulated by regional regulations. Because of this, the list of beneficiaries eligible for gifts and the rules for submitting documents differ from region to region.

Typically, New Year's gifts from social security are given to families with children if they fall into the following categories:

1. Families with children with disabilities.
2. Large families.
3. Poor families.
4. Orphans and children left without parental care.
5. Children of single parents.
6. Children with parents with disabilities.
7. Gifted children, excellent students, winners of Olympiads.

/guide/mnogodetey/

How to get the status of a large family

Regional authorities may impose additional requirements on families, for example:

• number of children in a family — in some regions, gifts are given only to families with five or more children;
• age of the child, in most cases gifts are given for children under 14 years old.

I will tell you about the rules for presenting New Year's gifts in several Russian regions in 2022. The exact rules of your region can be clarified at the local department of social protection.

Moscow. Gifts are given to children from three to twelve years old from low-income or socially vulnerable families: for example, children from large families, children with disabilities or children who have lost their breadwinner. You need to apply for gifts and receive sets at the government of your district.

/guide/wiki-kormilets/

What are the survivor benefits

There is no official confirmation of this information in the public domain. But the Mos-ru support replies that all the information is in place.

Leningrad Region. Children with disabilities, children from large families with critically low incomes, and children in difficult life situations can receive gifts. There are no age restrictions.

Official website of the center for social protection of the population of the Leningrad Region

Khabarovsk Territory. Gifts will be given to children from two to thirteen years old:

1. From families in a socially dangerous situation.
2. Disabled.
3. From large families with five or more children.

The official website of the center for social support of the population in the Bikinsky district of the Khabarovsk Territory

What social protection usually gives for the New Year

Traditionally, sweet gifts, toys or tickets to the Christmas tree are given on New Year's Eve.

The exact composition of the gift is determined by local authorities, so it may vary in different cities and regions. You cannot demand an extended gift or replace toys with sweets and vice versa.

How to get a New Year's gift

Where to go. Social security is usually responsible for issuing gifts to families with children: you can find out if your family is entitled to a gift and where exactly to receive it, you can contact the local social security office. In Moscow, gifts are given out in district administrations.

What documents are needed. To receive a gift, you must apply in advance. Each department of social protection has its own terms: check them right now so that the child is not left without congratulations.

Where to apply for payments for children in 2022

The form of application also depends on the region: in person or through public services.

Attach a package of documents to the application. The exact list is determined by the authorities of the region, but an approximate list may look like this:

• copy of parents' passport;
• copy of the child's birth certificate;
• certificate of registration of a child in an apartment or a single housing document;
• a document confirming a privileged status, for example, a certificate of having many children, a certificate of disability, a certificate of a survivor's pension.

Who else gives New Year gifts to children

Employer of parents. In many companies, employees with children can count on sweet gifts for babies. The composition of gifts and the age of children for whom gifts are allocated depends on the company.

Trade unions. Trade unions often deal with New Year's gifts for employees' children: in this case, in order to receive a set with sweets, the parent must be a member of a trade union and pay membership dues.

Whether gifts are provided at your place of work and who exactly they are entitled to, you need to check with the employer.

/give-me-money/

What an employer owes you besides salary

Charitable projects, for example, the all-Russian campaign "Wish Tree". On the project website, you can both fulfill someone's dream and share your own. True, wishes are not accepted from everyone, only from certain categories of citizens: you can find out if your family can take part on the website of the action.

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