How long after pregnancy can you exercise
Safe return to exercise after pregnancy
Safe return to exercise after pregnancy | Pregnancy Birth and Baby beginning of content6-minute read
Listen
Exercise can help you recover after childbirth, make you stronger and improve mood. Even if you're tired and not feeling motivated, there's plenty you can do to get your body moving. But no two pregnancies are the same. How soon you're ready to start exercising depends on your individual circumstances – so always check with a health professional first.
Exercise is beneficial for mums
Regular exercise after you've had a baby will strengthen and tone your muscles, help you recover from labour if you gave birth vaginally, and raise your energy levels so you feel less tired. It may help you to also lose weight and become fitter.
Exercise is good for your mental wellbeing. It can relieve stress and help prevent postnatal depression. You are also more likely to get outside and meet people. But don't worry about not getting enough exercise. Caring for a newborn can be hard work, and you might not have the energy or time to work out as regularly as you'd like. Do the best you can – even 10 minutes is better than nothing.
How your body changes after pregnancy
When you feel ready to exercise, it's very important to not to overdo it. Even if you're feeling great after having your baby, your body will have gone through big changes and needs time to recover.
Labour and birth can cause physical problems including back pain and a leaky bladder, both of which can be made worse by vigorous exercise. Pregnancy hormones can affect your joints and ligaments for up to 6 months after the birth, putting you at greater risk of injury.
Your abdominal muscles may have separated during the pregnancy. They usually go back to normal after the birth, but sometimes they can stay separated. You will need to do exercises to strengthen these muscles to avoid back pain and injury.
Your pelvic floor – the muscles and ligaments that support the bladder, uterus and bowel – can be weakened after pregnancy, especially if you had a large baby or pushed for a long time.
Regular exercises will help to strengthen your pelvic floor. But you should take care not to do more damage by exercising too vigorously too soon. Be careful of using heavy weights or doing high-impact exercise, as this can increase your chance of prolapse (when an organ, such as the uterus, drops down).
How quickly you return to exercise depends on how fit you were before you had the baby, and what happened during the labour.
Returning to exercise after vaginal birth
You can start doing gentle pelvic floor and abdominal exercises the first day or two after the birth. If you feel any pain, stop.
When you feel like it, start with a gentle walk, perhaps while pushing the pram. Then, at your own pace, gradually increase the time and pace of your walks. Build up to a 30-minute walk every day if you can.
Avoid swimming until the bleeding has stopped for 7 days and you've had your postnatal check with the doctor or obstetrician (6 to 8 weeks after the birth).
Wait until your 6-week postnatal check-up before you go back to the gym or start a group exercise program. It's best not to return to your previous level of physical activity until 16 weeks after the baby is born.
Returning to exercise after caesarean
A caesarean is a major operation and it will take you at least 6 weeks to heal. However, you can still do pelvic floor exercises from the first day after the birth. You can start to exercise your abdominal muscles as soon as you feel able to. Avoid sit ups, crunches or abdominal curls, as these put pressure on the scar.
Avoid lifting heavy weights. Tighten your tummy and keep your back straight if you need to lift something around the house.
After 6 to 8 weeks, you will still be healing inside. It is OK to start walking, do low-impact aerobics or cycle. Stop if there is any discomfort, pain or a pulling sensation on your scar and try again a couple of weeks later.
You should avoid high-impact exercise for 3 to 4 months after your caesarean. Don't go swimming until the bleeding has stopped for 7 days and you've had your postnatal check with the doctor or obstetrician (6 to 8 weeks after the birth).
Low-risk exercise for mums
The following exercises are suitable in the days after you have your baby:
- Abdominal exercises, or 'abdominal bracing' Choose one of these positions: sitting, standing, lying on your side, lying on your back, or kneeling on all fours. Pull in your lower tummy towards your spine. Hold for 5 to 10 seconds and breathe normally. Repeat 8 to 12 times, 4 times a day.
- Pelvic floor exercises Sit and lean slightly forward with a straight back. Squeeze and lift the muscles around your vagina as if you are trying to stop a wee. Hold as you count to 8; relax for 8 seconds. If you can't hold for 8, just hold as long as you can. Repeat about 8 to 12 times.
Other exercises that are safe after pregnancy include:
- walking
- swimming and aqua aerobics (once the bleeding has stopped)
- yoga
- Pilates
- low-impact aerobics
- light weight training
- cycling
You can incorporate exercise into your day – for example, when you meet up with friends, or while you're doing other tasks (doing pelvic floor exercises while you're breastfeeding or driving, for example). Walk with your baby in the pram rather than driving, or do your abdominal exercises on the floor next to your baby.
For at least 3 months, try to avoid heavy weights, sit ups and high-intensity aerobic activity such as running and tennis.
When to be concerned
Before you start any high-impact exercises, cough or jump with a full bladder to see if you leak any urine. If you don't, you're probably ready to exercise.
If you're still leaking urine 3 months after the birth, talk to your GP or a physiotherapist about strengthening your pelvic floor. You can find a physio near you using the Service Finder.
If you have trouble emptying your bowel or bladder, feel a sense of pressure in your vagina or notice a bulge or swelling in your vagina, you may have a prolapse. See your doctor.
Where to seek more information
- Talk to your doctor or maternal child health nurse.
- Call the National Continence Helpline on 1800 33 00 66.
- Download the free Continence Foundation of Australia Pelvic Floor First app, available on both Android and Apple devices.
Speak to a maternal child health nurse
Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call 7 days a week.
Sources:
The Royal Women’s Hospital Victoria (Abdominal Muscle Separation or Diastasis), Jean Hailes for Women's Health (Prolapse & bladder weakness), The Royal Women’s Hospital Victoria (Exercise), Sports Medicine Australia (Exercise in pregnancy and the postpartum period)Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.
Last reviewed: May 2020
Back To Top
Related pages
- Body image after having a baby
- Physiotherapy advice after pregnancy
- What happens to your body in childbirth
Need more information?
Physiotherapy advice after pregnancy
When you are pregnant, your body changes. Read about simple exercises and healthy habits to help cope with these changes.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Bladder weakness after birth
Leaking urine after childbirth is very common. It can be embarrassing and inconvenient, but there are ways to improve bladder weakness.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Looking after your body after having a baby
Over the last 9 months, your body has had to change to accommodate your growing baby and preparing to give birth.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Postnatal exercise - sample workout - Better Health Channel
Make sure your abdominal muscles have healed before you do any vigorous tummy exercises, such as crunches.
Read more on Better Health Channel website
Exercising during pregnancy
Doing regular moderate physical activity has health benefits during pregnancy and also helps to prepare the body for childbirth. Read about getting fit during pregnancy.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Anatomy of pregnancy and birth - perineum and pelvic floor
The perineum – the skin between the vagina and anus - stretches during childbirth and can sometimes tear. Learn here how to prepare the perineum for the birth.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Pelvic floor exercises
Pelvic floor exercises help to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor which come under great strain in pregnancy and childbirth.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Pregnancy: your essential guide | Raising Children Network
Our pregnancy guide has essential tips on antenatal care, healthy eating, exercise, morning sickness, your pregnant body, emotions, relationships and more.
Read more on raisingchildren.net.au website
Recovery after a caesarean
Recovery after a caesarean section - whether it's an emergency or planned - will take several weeks. Find out what to expect after you have had your baby.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Periods after pregnancy
After you've had your baby, you might be wondering how long until your periods return and if they will be the same as before your pregnancy.
Read more on Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website
Disclaimer
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is not responsible for the content and advertising on the external website you are now entering.
OKNeed further advice or guidance from our maternal child health nurses?
1800 882 436
Video call
- Contact us
- About us
- A-Z topics
- Symptom Checker
- Service Finder
- Linking to us
- Information partners
- Terms of use
- Privacy
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is funded by the Australian Government and operated by Healthdirect Australia.
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is provided on behalf of the Department of Health
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby’s information and advice are developed and managed within a rigorous clinical governance framework. This website is certified by the Health On The Net (HON) foundation, the standard for trustworthy health information.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
This information is for your general information and use only and is not intended to be used as medical advice and should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any medical condition, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes.
The information is not a substitute for independent professional advice and should not be used as an alternative to professional health care. If you have a particular medical problem, please consult a healthcare professional.
Except as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, this publication or any part of it may not be reproduced, altered, adapted, stored and/or distributed in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of Healthdirect Australia.
Support this browser is being discontinued for Pregnancy, Birth and Baby
Support for this browser is being discontinued for this site
- Internet Explorer 11 and lower
We currently support Microsoft Edge, Chrome, Firefox and Safari. For more information, please visit the links below:
- Chrome by Google
- Firefox by Mozilla
- Microsoft Edge
- Safari by Apple
You are welcome to continue browsing this site with this browser. Some features, tools or interaction may not work correctly.
Exercise After Pregnancy | ACOG
FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions
-
Exercise has the following benefits for postpartum women:
-
It helps strengthen and tone abdominal muscles.
-
It boosts energy.
-
It may help prevent postpartum depression.
-
It promotes better sleep.
-
It relieves stress.
-
It can help you lose the extra weight that you may have gained during pregnancy.
-
-
After having a baby, you should get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity every week. You can divide the 150 minutes into 30-minute workouts on 5 days of the week or into smaller 10-minute sessions throughout each day. For example, you could go for three 10-minute walks each day.
-
An aerobic activity is one in which you move large muscles of the body (like those in the legs and arms) in a rhythmic way.
-
Moderate intensity means you are moving enough to raise your heart rate and start sweating. You can still talk normally, but you cannot sing. Examples of moderate-intensity aerobic activities include brisk walking and riding a bike on a level surface.
-
A vigorous-intensity activity is one in which it is hard to talk without pausing for breath. If you followed a vigorous-intensity exercise program before pregnancy, it may be possible to return to your regular workouts soon after the baby is born. Be sure to talk with your obstetrician–gynecologist (ob-gyn) first.
-
This type of exercise works the body’s major muscle groups, such as the legs, arms, and hips. Examples include yoga, Pilates, lifting weights, sit-ups, and push-ups. There are also exercises called Kegel exercises that help tone the muscles of the pelvic floor. Muscle-strengthening activities should be done in addition to your aerobic activity on at least 2 days a week.
-
If you had a healthy pregnancy and a normal vaginal delivery, you should be able to start exercising again soon after the baby is born. Usually, it is safe to begin exercising a few days after giving birth—or as soon as you feel ready. If you had a cesarean birth or complications, ask your ob-gyn when it is safe to begin exercising again.
-
Aim to stay active for 20 to 30 minutes a day. When you first start exercising after childbirth, try simple postpartum exercises that help strengthen major muscle groups, including abdominal and back muscles.
Gradually add moderate-intensity exercise. If you exercised vigorously before pregnancy or you are a competitive athlete, you can work up to vigorous-intensity activity.
Remember, even 10 minutes of exercise benefits your body. Stop exercising if you feel pain.
-
When you are ready to start exercising, walking is a great way to get back in shape. Another good way to get daily exercise is by joining an exercise class.
Check with your local fitness clubs or community centers for classes that interest you, such as yoga, Pilates, spinning, and dance. Some gyms offer special postpartum exercise classes and classes you can take with your baby.
-
If you do not want to join a gym but want the benefits of having someone to exercise with, ask a friend to be your workout buddy. If you want to exercise on your own, check out fitness videos and online exercise programs. Many are designed for women who have just had a baby.
-
You may already have a great exercise tool in your pocket. Smart phone apps for exercise and fitness can help you stay motivated, keep track of your progress, and connect you with others with the same exercise goals. Many apps are free or cost very little.
-
As you get ready for your workout, follow these steps:
-
Wear loose-fitting clothing that will help keep you cool.
-
If you are breastfeeding, feed your baby or express your milk before your workout to avoid any discomfort that may come from engorged breasts.
-
Wear a bra that fits well and gives plenty of support to protect your breasts.
-
Have a bottle of water handy and take several sips during your workout.
-
-
The Move Your Way website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services can help you find safe, fun ways to get active after pregnancy.
-
Cesarean Birth: Birth of a fetus from the uterus through an incision (cut) made in the woman’s abdomen.
Complications: Diseases or conditions that happen as a result of another disease or condition. An example is pneumonia that occurs as a result of the flu. A complication also can occur as a result of a condition, such as pregnancy. An example of a pregnancy complication is preterm labor.
Kegel Exercises: Pelvic muscle exercises. Doing these exercises helps with bladder and bowel control as well as sexual function.
Obstetrician–Gynecologist (Ob-Gyn): A doctor with special training and education in women’s health.
Postpartum Depression: A type of depressive mood disorder that develops in the first year after the birth of a child. This type of depression can affect a woman’s ability to take care of her child.
Don't have an ob-gyn? Search for doctors near you.
FAQ131
Last updated: March 2022
Last reviewed: August 2022
Topics:
Pregnancy After Pregnancy Postpartum Healing and Support Nutrition and Exercise
Copyright 2022 by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. All rights reserved. Read copyright and permissions information.
This information is designed as an educational aid for the public. It offers current information and opinions related to women's health. It is not intended as a statement of the standard of care. It does not explain all of the proper treatments or methods of care. It is not a substitute for the advice of a physician. Read ACOG’s complete disclaimer.
Sex after childbirth. When can you have sex after giving birth?
Sex after childbirth, according to many women giving birth, is very similar to the very first time. Feelings are indescribable. But some women after the birth of a child consciously eschew intimacy with a man. Let's try to figure out how to return to a normal sex life.
When can I have sex after giving birth?
You can start sexual relations as early as 4-6 weeks after discharge from the hospital. During this time, vaginal ruptures heal, the placenta attaches to the wall of the uterine cavity, the uterus and vagina return to normal, to their normal volume. Until that time, the entire uterus is essentially an open wound, which can easily get an infection that causes endometritis (inflammation of the uterus). To restore the tone of the muscles of the perineum, it is recommended to do the Kegel exercise.
If you think that these rules can be neglected after a caesarean section, then you are mistaken. The place of attachment of the placenta to the wall of the uterus should also heal and heal. You also need to wait until the scar on the uterus heals. In any case, only a doctor will tell you how long you can have sex after giving birth.
Return of desire
For physiological reasons, in the first year after the birth of a child, a woman experiences increased vaginal dryness, even if she is very aroused. This is because the body does not see the need for it. After all, it is too early to start a new child, while there is a baby who needs the mother's care, her undivided attention. It can also be a subconscious fear, because a significant part of the reproductive system was injured and the penetration of a foreign body into it can cause severe pain.
There may also be banal fatigue: a small child takes a lot of energy, especially if you need to combine care for him with household chores. By night, the woman just wants to fall down and sleep, without participating in "games under the covers." Yes, and nervous tension, the expectation that at the most crucial moment the child will wake up and demand attention. All this does not contribute to the return to sexual activity.
Psychologists also note that many women hold a grudge against a man. He did not have to go through a difficult birth, devote 100% of his time to the child, and even manage the household. That is why newly-made mothers deliberately refuse sex, hoping in this way to take at least a little revenge on their husband.
Many women lose their self-confidence. The birth of a child leaves a lot of traces on the body: stretch marks, sagging breasts, lethargy of the skin of the perineum. A woman ceases to feel desirable and embarrassed to appear naked in front of her husband.
The presence of all these problems does not mean that this is the end of sexual relations between parents. Lubricant will help with vaginal dryness. The tenderness and trepidation of a man's attitude will help a woman feel more confident. And if the husband also helps with everyday affairs, mommy will have the strength to caress not only the child. To relax and establish contact, you can try to start with a massage, lie down in the bath. It is also important to take into account the selection of a pose: a woman must control the depth and strength of penetration herself in order to “test the soil”. And if nervous tension does not allow you to relax because of the little man in the next room, ask your grandmother to take a walk with him for a while.
Contraception
There are speculations that as long as a woman is breastfeeding or her menstrual cycle has returned to normal, there is no need to fear a new pregnancy. It is because of this false information that many couples "accidentally" get pregnant. Therefore, if such an early new conception is not included in your plans, you need to take care of protection.
- Hormonal preparations are not always suitable. Some of them can harm the baby by passing through the blood into the mother's breast milk. Although some experts argue that with the right choice of contraception, such problems can be avoided.
- Good barrier contraception: condoms. diaphragm, spermicides. They provide up to 97% protection against unplanned pregnancy. To improve the effect, you can combine spermicidal lubricant with a diaphragm.
- Installation of an intrauterine device is indicated no earlier than six months after childbirth. The main thing is that everything heals completely.
The restoration of sexual relations becomes the final stage of rehabilitation after pregnancy. Sex after the first birth is especially exciting, but even it can be handled if you approach it wisely.
Is there sex after childbirth? And what to do to be? We answer together with experts
18+
Is there sex after childbirth? And what to do to be? We answer together with experts
Text:
Elena Gvarishvili
Editor:
Svetlana Durboi
April 24, 2021 10:15
And not always for the better. Pregnancy and childbirth often negatively affect the health and well-being of the mother, so sex ceases to be a pleasure and becomes a problem. Together with experts, we figured out what happens to intimacy after childbirth and how to return it.
Dismantling popular myths:
After giving birth, you can't have sex until six months
Utkina: That's not true. Doctors usually allow penetrative sex six to eight weeks after delivery. Some couples return to it earlier. But, indeed, there are a lot of those who are not ready to resume sexual relations even after six months. It happens that way too.
Belokon: We recommend abstinence for a maximum of six to eight to ten weeks after childbirth, until the moment when the woman runs out of lochia and complete involution of the uterus occurs. For example, healing of sutures, wounds on the perineum. Six months is inhumane in relation to a woman and her partner.
Returning sexuality and intimate relationships is a woman's task
Jacobson: I don't like the approach when all the responsibility is put on one person, although there are at least two people in a relationship. If the partner will support his wife in every possible way, give compliments, share the duties of caring for the child, be gentle and patient with her, then sexuality will return very soon. And the woman will not need to work alone on her restoration.
A woman cannot get pregnant while she is breastfeeding
Belokon: This is absolutely not true. Lactational amenorrhea is the name given to the condition when a woman does not have menstruation immediately after childbirth and for as long as she is breastfeeding. But menstruation may be present, this is normal. Even if it is absent, ovulation occurs against the background of breastfeeding. Even one ovulation can be enough for pregnancy.
And women who do not have periods should know their physiology and remember that even in the absence of menstruation, ovulation occurs and you can get pregnant . Sometimes a woman breastfeeds, lives an open sex life, becomes pregnant. There are no periods, there is no delay, and she finds out about pregnancy already when her symptoms or fetal movement appear. [Absence of menstruation] is an unreliable method of contraception, so if you do not want to get pregnant, you must use protection.
If a woman wants to have another child soon after giving birth, then a break of at least 6-12 months is necessary. If there was a caesarean section and there is a scar on the uterus, then on average we recommend preventing pregnancy for 1-2 years so that a reliable scar forms and it is safe to get pregnant again. It is clear that this is not a dogma, we do not scold if a woman becomes pregnant before the specified dates. If this happens, we bear and give birth.
After childbirth, sensitivity decreases and the genital tract is deformed
Utkina: Usually not, these are soft tissues, and with well-organized recovery after childbirth, everything should be in order. If there were long attempts, episiotomy (dissection of the perineum. - Note ed. ), vacuum, ruptures, the sensitivity and shape of the vagina can really change, as well as weakness of the pelvic floor muscles. Postpartum rehabilitation practices help to cope with all this: from biofeedback therapy to banal massage and breathing exercises. Here the matter is often not only in the physiology of childbirth, but also in medical interventions.
Belokon: In a woman, the most sensitive part in sex is the clitoris, as a rule, nothing happens to it at the time of childbirth, and its sensitivity does not decrease. Yes, some women have certain changes in the genital tract after childbirth. There may be tears in the vagina and perineum, there may be incisions in the perineum. There may be a slight stretching of the walls of the vagina, omission of the walls of the vagina. But this doesn't happen to everyone. And if you have any questions, pain, not that sensitivity, you need to contact a doctor and resolve the issue that worries you. For some, on the contrary, the sensitivity only increases.
What problems do women most often face after childbirth:
Self-doubt
Nikonova: A woman may feel non-sexual after childbirth if her appearance means a lot to her and her partner. It is worth getting at least one negative evaluative comment, and you will no longer want any sex. The only way to prevent sudden disappointment is to live with someone who doesn't care about how you look, who will always see beauty in you. Body positivity is everything.
Belokon: Women may think that there is something wrong with them, they are embarrassed to talk about it with a partner or a specialist, they switch to problems with a child. They resort to not very safe procedures like laser vaginal rejuvenation, which is definitely ineffective. A woman needs, firstly, a competent obstetrician-gynecologist. Secondly, a couple, ideally, should talk through everything and think through these nuances before the birth of a child, understand that life does not end and one must continue to enjoy it.
Nazaralieva: Many women can feel unsexy depending on how their body has changed and whether they have time for themselves. Because if they are included in intensive motherhood, then at some point life turns into Groundhog Day. For sex to appear, most women need the right context. And if this is a typical couple, when he is at work, and all the care for the child is on her, and they have few resources, sex will not soon become a priority in this family.
Utkina: The body changes after childbirth. And even if it still fits into the accepted standards of beauty, women notice that many things have become different. It is not uncommon for partners to tell women directly that they have "become unattractive." Even more often, women absorb such “ideas” from gloss. In general, there are those who, through the powerful experience of childbirth, reconsider their views on the body and sexuality. And he feels much more freedom in sensual manifestations.
Discomfort during intimacy
Whiteskin: If there are tears or wounds, they may increase discomfort. If a woman is breastfeeding, then her estrogen level is reduced. No one warns women that this affects everything, including the vaginal mucosa, so there may be problems with insufficient lubrication, the mucosa becomes thinner and easily injured. In this case, it is imperative to use lubricant, choose the right postures and be careful, and if this does not help, then contact an obstetrician-gynecologist. It is not necessary to endure and take it for granted.
Nikonova: This happens quite often, especially after an episiotomy and suturing. I met stories of women who were told, they say, we will sew you up so that your husband will like it. Will she like it herself? No answer.
No one thinks about the mother's sex life, and no one is warned that there may be problems after childbirth. Motherhood sometimes puts an end to pleasure, and many find out about it too late.
Nazaralieva: A large number of women experience pain during penetration shortly after they resume their sex lives. This is especially true for those women who are breastfeeding. Usually within six months, a maximum of a year, this pain disappears, and from a physiological point of view, sex begins to resemble the one that was before childbirth. If this pain persists, you don’t have to endure it, you need to think about some options, because sex is not only penetration . You need to talk to your partner very honestly about what is happening to you. And seek help.
Sex fades into the background
Olga Belokon: Sex fades into the background because the woman is busy caring for the child, the couple can't make time for it. Here you need to know that it will not be as easy as it was thought before the birth. That after the birth of a child, your life will definitely change, and it’s right to think through everything, including assistance in caring for a child, to plan your personal life even before the birth of a child.
Amina Nazaralieva: A common problem is when one of the partners does not want sex, but the other does. In women, pregnancy can affect their sexual life in any way. It happens that the growing uterus begins to put pressure on neighboring organs, and excitement is easily provoked by any factors. It happens on the contrary, for many reasons: due to hormones, a woman and a man can be influenced by fears that during sex they can harm the child. This is not so, with a healthy pregnancy, you can have sex in the same way as you did before.
As for the quality of sex after childbirth, it all depends on what happens to the partners, how much they were able to reorganize and take on parental roles, how involved the father is. There is some evidence that truly included fatherhood is good for , for example, if dad spends the same amount of time taking care of the child and in physical and emotional contact, thereby unloading mom and making the child common. The wives of such husbands are more satisfied with the quality of marital relations.
Irina Yakobson: The birth of a child is a catalyst, if the relationship was difficult before pregnancy, then after childbirth it will become even more difficult. But if partners know how to talk to each other, ask for help and share the responsibilities of caring for the baby, then cooling can be avoided, and the relationship will become even stronger.
Forcing a woman to have sex and violence
Nikonova: In addition to constant fatigue and sleep deprivation, a huge number of women experience economic violence from a partner during maternity and parental leave. Since at this time they do not earn money, in addition to caring for the baby, they are given all the responsibility for life, and they often reproach the expenses and take full advantage of the fact that a woman has nowhere to go. I once asked my subscribers a question if they had ever been financially dependent, they sent me hundreds of stories about the humiliation that women on maternity leave were subjected to by their husbands. For example, one husband said: "For a woman who does not earn, you talk too much." Where is the space for the revival of sexual desire? He will not.
Also, forcing a woman to have sex by her partner when she is not ready is a common scenario. Often a woman does not want sex just because she is tired. Often she is forced to agree to him out of fear of losing a man, but, of course, this does not bring her any pleasure, and coercion grows disgust for her partner. Joyful and pleasurable sex is quite possible after childbirth, but for this, the partner must invest in child care, relationships, life and care for the partner.
How to return sexual pleasure:
Plan
Nazaralieva: After the birth of a child, sex ceases to be spontaneous. It will not be spontaneous for a long time, especially if you decide on the second one. Put it on your calendar and get ready for it: tune in emotionally, ask your grandmother or nanny to help. No need to worry that if sex is not spontaneous, then this is the end of . Spontaneous sex is a luxury that very free people can afford. You are still in a situation where you need to plan it.
Share the responsibilities
Nikonova: It is very important that both partners take an active part in the care of the child. Often in Russia, a woman finds herself face to face with the consequences of childbirth, as if this is not a male occupation at all. In fact, you need to give mom time to recover calmly, let her sleep, take a bath alone, be without a child, so that she feels like herself, and not an extension of the baby.
Spend time together
Nazaralieva: Don't be afraid to delegate child care to a nanny or grandparents. To maintain or restore relationships in a couple, you need to work on them - set aside at least a few hours a week for this. Remember how you spent this time before you became parents? You went somewhere, talked not only about problems, did something romantic. It is important to remember what you liked as a couple before having children, and try to periodically return to these activities.
Get to know your partner again
Nazaralieva: If you are convinced that real sex is penetration sex that ends in a grand orgasm on both sides, you will have to give it up. You need to understand that perhaps the map of your erogenous zones has changed, say it out loud with your partner. It is helpful to increase the proportion of foreplay and treat your partner like a new person you don't know yet. Study her body again.
Practice
Nikonova: Now gynecologists have begun to recommend the practice of Kegel exercises to restore the tone of the pelvic floor muscles. It’s boring to do the exercises themselves, simulators with game applications for smartphones and tracking the progress of training save, in Russia they are sold in sex shops. It is completely optional to buy them, you can do the exercises without them, it’s just that the process is more fun and efficient with them. Exercise is necessary in order to avoid urinary incontinence after childbirth, this is common and does not add a feeling of sexuality. In addition, trained muscles allow you to get more pleasure during penetrative sex .
Relax
Jacobson: New parents often forget about themselves and each other in their worries and concerns about their child.