How do you know if your child is suicidal

Teens and suicide: What parents should know

As a parent, you can approach suicide prevention in the same way you do other safety or health issues for your children. By educating yourself, you can learn what puts kids at greatest risk for suicide – and what protects them most strongly.

Should parents be concerned about teen suicide?
The facts
Additional resources
What can I do to protect my teen or tween from suicide risk?
How can I tell if my child is behaving like a normal teenager – i.e. moody, etc. – or if there might be something wrong?
How can I talk to my teen about mental health and suicide?
Should I use the same approach for different age groups, i.e. tweens (ages 8 to 12) or teens (13 to 17)?
What if they don’t want to talk?
What if I’m concerned my child is thinking about suicide?
What if my child knows someone who has taken their life? How do talk with them?

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Should parents be concerned about teen suicide?

Suicide is in the news and in popular entertainment now more than ever, especially in regard to teens. You can play a role in building up your child’s mental health simply by becoming aware of the risk factors and warning signs that can lead to suicide, making yourself available to your child, knowing how to practice having a caring conversation, and being aware that help is always available.

The facts

There were approximately 100,000 teen (15-19 year-olds) suicide deaths over the 40 year period between 1975 through 2015, the most recent year covered by the study.

Boys take their lives at 3-4 times the rate of girls. The suicide rate for teen boys saw a rise that peaked in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, then lowered in the late ‘90s and early 2000’s. This may be attributed to pediatricians increasingly taking on the role of treating depression. However, the rate has unfortunately been rising again since 2006.

The suicide rate for teen girls had a similar but less dramatic pattern. There has been an increase for girls over the last 10-12 years.

It’s worth noting there are fluctuations in suicide rates of all age groups over time. Youth rates remain significantly lower compared to every older age group.

Learn more about suicide

Additional resources

Risk factors and warning signs

While there is no single cause for suicide, there are risk factors and warning signs which may increase likelihood of an attempt. Learn what to look out for to keep your child or children safe.

Learn more

More Than Sad

The More Than Sad program shows you how to recognize signs of depression and other mental health problems, initiate a conversation about mental health with your child, and get help.

Learn more

Find a mental health professional

Who is a mental health professional, and how can they help? Find mental health providers in your area.

Learn more

LGBTQ crisis and support resources

LGBTQ crisis hotlines and support resources.

Learn more

What can I do to protect my teen or tween from suicide risk?

As a parent, you can teach and model healthy habits for mental health just as you would with physical health. Taking care of your own mental health, talking about it openly, and seeking therapy when warranted is one way to model healthy practices.

If your child sees you approaching your own challenges and learning for your own mistakes in an open way, they will understand that it’s okay to struggle and to learn from mistakes. They may develop flexibility and compassion for their own missteps — possibly even empathy for others, seeing how you navigate challenging times. They will also understand that life is messy and challenging for everyone at different times.

Check in with your child regularly, beyond just day-to-day tasks such as homework. You can learn how to invite deeper conversations through further guidance listed on this page.

If your child has a history of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm or substance use, you should monitor them more closely, and consider involving a professional, either at key times, or for the longer term for more chronic conditions.

How can I tell if my child is behaving like a normal teenager – i.e. moody, etc. – or if there might be something wrong?

When children hit puberty, there are changes in their body and brain that can and do lead to behavioral changes. But there is a normal range which can manifest as moodiness, irritability, and pushing you away. This is a natural part of adolescent development. What should be concerning is if you notice indications of hopelessness or worthlessness, a withdrawal from friends and activities, or suicidal thinking or behavior. These are not typical manifestations for teenage angst.

You know your child. You know their usual patterns, their common reactions to frustration and challenges, and what their good days and bad days look like. Trust your instincts if their behavior goes beyond these usual patterns of behavior. It could be just the tip of the iceberg of possible changes in their physical or mental health. It’s worth engaging them in conversation to get a fuller understanding of what they are experiencing so you can provide support, and get a better sense of how severe it is.

If your teen or tween’s sleep, energy, appetite, motivation, substance use, and frustration aren’t bouncing back to normal after a few days, have them see their pediatrician or a mental health practitioner.

How can I talk to my teen about mental health and suicide?

Don’t be afraid to have a conversation with your child about mental health and suicide. Ask your child how they’re doing, what’s happening in their world these days, and what their concerns are. It can start simply by asking, “Are you okay?”

Listen intently and without judgment. Ask open-ended questions, i.e. those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Resist the urge to offer quick fixes or solutions to their challenges, which tends to shut down further dialog. Validate and support their feelings.

Follow their cues, and say things like, “Tell me more about that. I’d love to understand more about what that’s like for you. When he said that/did that to you, how did that make you feel?”

Should I use the same approach for different age groups, i.e. tweens (ages 8 to 12) or teens (13 to 17)?

The approach is very similar for tweens and teens, but with changes in language based on their level of sophistication and self-awareness. Use language that makes sense to your child, given their age, development, and what you know of how they think about things.

For a young child, you can ask about physical symptoms like stomach aches, and changes in feelings like getting upset or angry more lately. If it seems to you that they feel hopeless, trapped or overwhelmed – then ask if they ever think about hurting themselves or ending their life.

For older children, or kids who have demonstrated they are aware of their own thoughts and feelings, ask about their perceptions, as well as other symptoms like sleep problems, mood changes, and feelings of hopelessness, or of feeling trapped or overwhelmed.

What if they don’t want to talk?

If your child isn’t ready to talk, leave the invitation open for later by saying, “Whenever you want to talk, I’m here to listen and support you.” You could add “I won’t judge, and I’ll never stop supporting you, no matter what challenges you face.”

The likelihood is that your child will open up when you least expect it, sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face, in the car or engaged in some other activity together.

When your teen starts to open up, be careful not to fall into the trap of jumping in with a solution or by saying, “You should…” or “Why didn’t you…”

What if I’m concerned my child is thinking about suicide?

If your child is talking about any level of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly about suicide will not increase their risk, or plant the idea. It will create an opportunity to offer support, and let them know you care enough to have the conversation.

You can say, “It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately. Does it ever get so tough that you think about ending your life?”

If your child gives any indication they have been thinking about suicide (unless they are in the act of self-harming) take them seriously. Continue to listen and engage in a caring, concerned, supportive manner. You can say things like, “Can you say more about that? I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I want to understand more about your perspective. I’m here for you no matter what. There is no problem too big that we as a family can’t get through. I’m going to keep supporting you and will also make sure you get the help you need to feel yourself again.”

Talk with your child about how to seek help. If you fear they may be at risk, get professional help right away.

Let them know you’ll be there for them no matter what, that your love is unconditional, and that you’ll help them get the support they need to get through this challenging time.

In a crisis situation, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or text the Crisis Text Line by texting ‘TALK’ to 741741 to speak or text with a trained counselor who can provide guidance on the most appropriate next steps and resources. Calling 911 is best for situations when self-harm is occurring or is about to occur.

For help finding a Mental Health Professional, consult with your child’s pediatrician, call your insurance, or use this treatment finder.

What if my child knows someone who has taken their life? How do talk with them?

It is important as a parent to be there for your child if a friend or a classmate has died by suicide. You can find specific guidance in AFSP’s Children, Teens, and Suicide Loss booklet, written in partnership with the Dougy Center, The National Center for Grieving Children & Families.

The booklet can be viewed online here.

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Warning Signs of Suicide in Children and Teens

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Overview

Warning signs of suicide in children and teens include:

Talking about suicide or wanting to die or disappear.
Talking, writing, or drawing about death.
Giving away belongings.
Withdrawing from friends and family.
Being angry or hostile.
Doing risky things, like driving too fast.
Using alcohol or drugs.
Having changes in eating or sleeping patterns, such as eating less or sleeping more than usual.

Not everyone who's at risk for suicide has these signs. They may have others. For example, they may seem hopeless, anxious, or depressed. Or they may quit caring about how they look.

There may also be other reasons for these behaviors.

Where to get help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

If your child talks about suicide, self-harm, a mental health crisis, a substance use crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress, get help right away. You can:

Call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
Text HOME to 741741 to access the Crisis Text Line.

Consider saving these numbers in your phone.

What puts children and teens at risk for suicide?

It's hard to know if a child or teen is thinking about suicide. But you can look for things that may make them more likely to have thoughts of suicide or to make a suicide attempt. These include their personal experiences and their family history.

Take any mention of suicide seriously. If a child or teen talks about suicide, self-harm, or feeling hopeless, get help right away.

Personal experiences

Children and teens may be more likely to think about or attempt suicide if they:

Have made a previous suicide attempt.
Have a mental health problem, such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or a drug or alcohol problem (substance use disorder).
Know someone who recently attempted or died by suicide. This may include a friend, a family member, or a personal hero, like a sports figure or a musician.
Have access to a means of suicide, such as a gun or pills.
Have a history of sexual abuse.
Have a history of being bullied.
Have gone through a stressful experience, like a divorce in the family or the death of a parent.
Have legal or discipline problems, or have problems at school (like falling grades, behavior problems, or frequent absences).
Have stress caused by physical changes related to puberty, chronic illness, or other issues.
Are LGBTQ+. Issues like bullying and discrimination can contribute to an increased risk.

Family history

Children and teens may be at higher risk of suicide if they have:

A family history of suicide.
A parent who has depression or substance use disorder.
A disruptive or abusive family life.

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Related Information

Get help & support for suicide

If you’re in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, find help in your area with Find a helpline.

If you believe that someone else is in danger of suicide and you have their contact information, contact your local law enforcement for immediate help. You can also encourage the person to contact a suicide prevention hotline using the information above.

Learn more about personal crisis information with Google Search.

Google’s crisis information comes from high-quality websites, partnerships, medical professionals, and search results.

Important: Partnerships vary by country and region.

Korea Suicide Prevention Center

Country	Hotline organization	Website	Phone number
Argentina	Centro de Asistencia al Suicida	www. asistenciaalsuicida.org	(011) 5275-1135
Australia	Lifeline Australia	www.lifeline.org	13 11 14
Austria	Telefon Seelsorge Osterreich	www.telefonseelsorge.at	142
Belgium	Center de Prevention du Suicide	www.preventionsuicide.be	0800 32 123
Belgium	CHS Helpline	www.chsbelgium.org	02 648 40 14
Belgium	Zelfmoord 1813	www.zelfmoord1813.be	1813
Brazil	Centro de Valorização da Vida	www.cvv.org	188
Canada	Crisis Services Canada	crisisservicescanada. ca	833-456-4566
Chile	Ministry of Health of Chile	www.hospitaldigital.gob	6003607777
China	Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center	www.crisis.org	800-810-1117
Costa Rica	Colegio de Profesionales en Psicologia de Costa Rica	psicologiacr.com/aqui-estoy	2272-3774
France	SOS Amitié	www.sos-amitie.org	09 72 39 40 50
Germany	Telefon Seelsorge Deutschland	www.telefonseelsorge.de	0800 1110111
Hong Kong	Suicide Prevention Services	www.sps.org	2382 0000
India	iCall Helpline	icallhelpline. org	9152987821
Ireland	Samaritans Ireland	www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help	116 123
Israel	[Eran] ער"ן	www.eran.org	1201
Italy	Samaritans Onlus	www.samaritansonlus.org	06 77208977
Japan	Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology	www.mext.go.jp	81-0120-0-78310
Japan	Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare of Japan	www.mhlw.go	0570-064-556
Malaysia	Befrienders KL	www.befrienders.org	03-76272929
Netherlands	113Online	www. 113.nl	0800-0113
New Zealand	Lifeline Aotearoa Incorporated	www.lifeline.org	0800 543 354
Norway	Mental Helse	mentalhelse.no	116 123
Pakistan	Umang Pakistan	www.umang.com.pk/	0311-7786264
Peru	Linea 113 Salud	www.gob.pe/555-recibir-informacion-y-orientacion-en-salud	113
Philippines	Department of Health - Republic of the Philippines	doh.gov.ph/NCMH-Crisis-Hotline	0966-351-4518
Portugal	SOS Voz Amiga	www.sosvozamiga.org	213 544 545 963 524 660 912 802 669
Russia	Fund to Support Children in Difficult Life Situations	www. ya-parent.ru	8-800-2000-122
Singapore	Samaritans of Singapore	www.sos.org	1-767
South Africa	South African Depression and Anxiety Group	www.sadag.org	0800 567 567
South Korea	중앙자살예방센터	www.spckorea.or	1393
Spain	Telefono de la Esperanza	www.telefonodelaesperanza.org	717 003 717
Switzerland	Die Dargebotene Hand	www.143.ch	143
Taiwan	国际生命线台湾总会 [International Lifeline Taiwan Association]	www.life1995.org	1995
Ukraine	Lifeline Ukraine	lifelineukraine. com	7333
United Kingdom	Samaritans	www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help	116 123
United States	988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline	988lifeline.org	988

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Helpline

Information about the unified all-Russian children’s helpline

0446 8-800-2000-122 .

When calling this number in any locality of the Russian Federation from fixed or mobile phones, children in difficult life situations, adolescents and their parents, other citizens can receive emergency psychological assistance, which is provided by specialists of services already operating in the constituent entities of the Russian Federation that provide services for telephone counseling and connected to a single all-Russian number of children's helpline.

Confidentiality and free of charge are the two main principles of the children's helpline. This means that every child and parent can anonymously and free of charge receive psychological assistance and the secrecy of his call to the helpline is guaranteed.

Working hours of the children's helpline in the constituent entities of the Russian Federation

(as of October 1, 2013) 38 -PIC AO

	Name of the subject of the Russian Federation 9Arkhangelsk region 09.00-22.00
22	with Nenets Autonomous Okrug	daily 09.00-17.30
23	Vologda region	around the clock
24	Kaliningrad region	daily0039	around the clock
35	Chechen Republic 08.30-20.00
	South Federal District
37	Republic of Adygea
Kalmykia	Pon-Pip. 8.00-17.00
3
80	Magadan region	Pon.-Pon. 10.00.22.00
81	Sakhalin Region
900
83	Chukotka AO	Mon-Fri 09.00-22.00, closed 16.00-22.00