How a father gets custody of his child

What Are the Chances of a Father Getting Full Custody?

For so long, custody for fathers meant a weekends-only schedule or other limited parenting time. But changing family dynamics have led to a sea change in the outcome of custody cases.

The chances of a father getting full custody are climbing. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, fathers made up 20 percent of custodial parents in 2018, up from 16 percent in 1994.

Still, full custody for fathers is far less common than full custody for mothers. Whether this is due to bias against fathers is a hotly debated topic. Overall, many courts prefer awarding joint custody to both parents.

Custody cases don't change much when two dads are at odds. The vast majority of the tips below still apply in this situation.

In general, fathers seeking full custody should expect a custody battle. They'll have to build a case that shows their child would benefit from living primarily in their care.

Custody X Change is a computer software program that helps you organize your custody situation.

Make My Schedule and Plan Now

Mothers' rights versus fathers' rights

Parents essentially have the same rights to custody — so long as the court recognizes them as the child's legal parents.

A mother is automatically the legal parent of any child she gives birth to, regardless of marital status. Unmarried fathers must establish paternity. You should get proof that you're the child's biological father (or legal father) before you pursue full custody. Many states won't even allow you to start a custody case if the child's paternity is unknown.

Courts cannot discriminate against a parent based on gender. Yet the best interest of the child standard is more likely to favor mothers since they are often the primary caregivers for children. For a father in a custody battle, proving parental fitness is key.

How to get child custody for fathers

Custody decisions ultimately come down to which parent presents the more convincing case. Here are some ways a father can improve their chances of getting custody.

Prepare a parenting plan

Most dads — and moms as well — benefit from making a parenting plan with their ex. With a judge's approval, the plan becomes the final custody order.

If the mother agrees to sign a plan that gives you full custody, you can save thousands of dollars by skipping a trial.

If the mother isn't willing to give up custody, consider agreeing to joint custody in a plan. The court is likely to award this anyway when two capable parents want custody, so an agreement can get you out in front of the situation.

If you struggle to negotiate a parenting plan, try an alternative dispute resolution method like mediation, where a third party will help you compromise.

When you can't agree on a plan, proposing one in court is a good way to prove you've thought out how you'll handle parenting and visitation.

Establish and maintain a relationship with your child

If you go to court, you'll likely have to answer questions about how close you are to your child. Make sure you know their grade level, teachers' names, interests and other details that show you're an active part of their life.

Even if the child's mother won't let you see them, you should still make an effort to foster a relationship with your child. Any proof that the mother got in the way of this happening could help your case.

In some states, the child's preference factors into the custody decision. The better the child knows you, the more comfortable they'll feel spending more time with you.

Prove you can care for your child

The court will consider who has been the child's primary caretaker.

If you haven't already, start taking on caretaking duties to show the court you can handle them. Keep a journal to document how you care for your child — for example, by feeding them and taking them to doctor's appointments.

Also, show the court you can dedicate the time required for full custody. If you work, have reliable child care lined up.

Consider asking for character reference letters from friends, family members and others who can vouch for what you've done (or tried to do) for your child.

Have space in your home for your child

The court will want to know the child will have a safe place to live. Prepare a bedroom for your child and take photos to show in court. If you have a baby or toddler, you'll also have to childproof your home.

Provide financial support for your child

Make sure to buy necessities for your child. You have an obligation to provide for your child even if they don't live with you.

If you have a court order for child support, make the payments on time. Ask for a modification of the amount if you're struggling to pay.

Get receipts for each purchase and child support payment in case the other parent denies that you contributed.

Keep records of visitation

Make a calendar that shows when you spend time with your child. If the child's mother denies visits, save proof (text messages, etc.) to show how she's interfered with your relationship with your child.

Be kind to your ex

Because conflict is bad for children, the judge will look at you more favorably if you at least try to get along with your ex. Your ex could use any antagonistic messages or social media posts against you in court. If you need help behaving well, limit your interaction outside of mediation or use parent messaging from Custody X Change, which alerts you before send a potentially-hostile message.

The court considers whether a parent will let the other have an active role in the child's life. Treating your child's mother respectfully will help assure the court that you'll keep a place for her in your child's life.

Hire a lawyer

Getting full custody for fathers can be tricky. Lawyers — especially those who specialize in father's rights — are best equipped for the job.

In addition to understanding the law, lawyers likely know the personalities and preferences of the family court judges in your area, so they can prepare your case accordingly.

Make a good impression in court

The way you act in court impacts your chances of getting full custody. Show up on time, dress properly (dark suit and dress shoes), treat everyone in the courthouse with respect and don't talk out of turn.

Don't count yourself out

Many fathers feel defeated before they even step into the courtroom.

Remember: the parent who proves they can best provide for the child's needs will get custody. Putting together solid evidence could give you the confidence to show the judge you can handle full custody. Even if you don't get full custody in the final order, you can ask for more parenting time or a change in custody later.

Child custody cases where the father wins

In certain circumstances, full custody for fathers is more likely. However, you shouldn't see custody as something you can "win." Never pursue full custody if your only goal is to hurt your ex. The number one priority should be the health and well-being of your child.

A father who has been the child's primary caretaker has a better chance of getting full custody. The court prefers to minimize change for the child and is more likely to place them with the parent they're most familiar with.

When the mother has substance abuse issues or untreated mental illness or has abused or neglected the child, the father has a good chance of getting full custody. The father will need to prove in court that awarding the mother custody could endanger the child's well-being.

Child custody could come down to availability. If the mother has a busy work schedule, the court may determine the father has more time to dedicate to the child. With this, of course, the father would need to prove he's capable of caring for the child.

Preparing for court as a father

When you're a father fighting for full custody of your child, preparation is key. Custody X Change can help.

To set up the perfect custody and visitation schedule, click on the "calendar" tab, then click within the calendar or select "new schedule."

Above the calendar, you'll see time-share and overnight percentages. The printable report could prove you have been your child's primary caregiver, boosting your case.

Clicking on the "parenting plan" tab allows you to design a parenting plan you can give the court to show you're prepared for a future with your child.

Use Custody X Change to show the court why you deserve full custody of your child. It can save you thousands in lawyer fees.

Custody X Change is a computer software program that helps you organize your custody situation.

Make My Schedule and Plan Now

Custody X Change is a computer software program that helps you organize your custody situation.

How Can a Father Get Full Custody of His Child?

We wrote this for fathers who are serious about getting full custody

Ready to learn how a father like you can get full custody of his child?

Usually when a father asks this question, something went wrong in his relationship with the mother.

I don't refer to the relationship in a break-up sense but more how the mother and father will parent their children.

Fathers think about getting full custody of the child because the mother has done something that caused the father to believe she intends to withhold or limit contact with the child.

So let's talk about those situations and how we, as experienced California family law attorneys, deal with them.

Many fathers who contact our family law firm at first do not believe they can get full custody. Instead, they believe there is a "bias" against fathers in family courts.

If such a bias existed, we would not be successful in getting dads full custody when the facts justified it. The "bias" argument is often an excuse. Overcome the excuse. 

Instead, have our experienced family law attorneys evaluate your situation. We will tell you if you have the facts to support a full custody request.

Let's get into this amazing guide on how to get full custody as a father.

- B. Robert Farzad

How can a father get full custody of his child if the mother withholds contact?

There is a difference between withholding and limiting contact.

There is also a difference between doing so reasonably versus unreasonably.

Reasonably means the mother has an objective and valid reason to believe the father is a danger to the child.

In this article, we focus on the unreasonable reasons which are simply unacceptable and seek to harm or sever the father - child relationship.

Mothers sometimes take the unreasonable course immediately after a breakup

They do this when the father and mother stop living together.

They play a game of keep-away with the child. The reasons may be many.

They include but are not limited to:

• anger or bitterness over infidelity or the break-up in general,
• immaturity (common among young parents), or
• unhealthy control by the mother's parent or parents over her life.
• Sometimes, the mother is simply unkind and malicious.
• These are not child focused reasons.

Fortunately, California law protects fathers in such situations.

California Family Code 3046

Family Code section 3046 states, in part:

If a party is absent or relocates from the family residence, the court shall not consider the absence or relocation as a factor in determining custody or visitation in either of the following circumstances:

(1) The absence or relocation is of short duration and the court finds that, during the period of absence or relocation, the party has demonstrated an interest in maintaining custody or visitation, the party maintains, or makes reasonable efforts to maintain, regular contact with the child, and the party's behavior demonstrates no intent to abandon the child.

(2) The party is absent or relocates because of an act or acts of actual or threatened domestic or family violence by the other party.

(b) The court may consider attempts by one party to interfere with the other party's regular contact with the child in determining if the party has satisfied the requirements of subdivision (a)…

- Family Code 3046

What that means for a father is simple

Just because there was a temporary relocation does not mean the father abandoned the child. Relocation does not mean there is a new status quo in parenting time.

The father must be vigilant in making sure he does not allow the lack of contact to continue for months.

He should hire a family law attorney immediately to file the appropriate petition, request for order and obtain a court date.

Smart family law attorneys also help the father document the mother's misconduct. That way, by the time they appear in court, there is a clear paper trail of that misconduct.

Documenting it may have an even greater benefit. The mother may get smart and allow contact immediately for fear of how she may look in court.

Either way, it is a win - win situation for the father.

Unreasonably withholding contact is not in a child's best interest

A father can use a mother's refusal to allow contact to show the court how she is not child focused and instead acts inconsistent with the child's best interest.

The law requires family courts to focus custody decisions on a child's best interest.

When a father wants full custody of his child because the mother withholds contact, what should he do?

He should point out why that withholding is not in the child's best interest. Here again the California Family Code helps.

Family Code 3040

The first part of Family Code 3040 states:

Custody should be granted in the following order of preference according to the best interest of the child as provided in Sections 3011 and 3020: 

To both parents jointly pursuant to Chapter 4 (commencing with Section 3080) or to either parent.

In making an order granting custody to either parent, the court shall consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent and continuing contact with the noncustodial parent, consistent with Sections 3011 and 3020, and shall not prefer a parent as custodian because of that parent's sex. 

The court, in its discretion, may require the parents to submit to the court a plan for the implementation of the custody order….

- Family Code 3040

The code includes frustration of parenting time as a factor when the court decides how to divide parenting time.

Did you know that?

A lot of fathers in California do not realize that and therefore do not use it effectively in their own case.

How can a father get full custody of his child when the mother alienates the child?

Parental alienation is a stalker. It slowly and sometimes decisively destroys a father-child relationship.

Mothers and fathers engage in parental alienation. It is not gender specific.

Usually, a parent who engages in that conduct has one goal - to harm the relationship between the parent and the child.

They seek to do damage to the point where the child no longer wants to spend time with the other parent.

Our family law firm has seen horrible parental alienation situations

They take many forms. Per our article on parental alienation awareness (linked for you below):

• "Disparaging comments about you or about your significant other or close members of your family;
• Trying to replace your role as a parent by infusing another into that role;
• Undermining your parental discipline and authority;
• Playing the role of the victim to the children, with you as the perpetrator; or
• Making false allegations of abuse against you."

What can a father do in such a situation?

We cannot emphasize enough how important early action is in parental alienation cases.

If you, as the father, sit on your hands and hope, wish or think some minimal effort you make will make it stop, you are kidding yourself.

You may set yourself up for a point of no return with the children. They may refuse to spend time with you because the mother effectively alienated them from you.

In such a situation, it is a complete crap-shoot whether reunification therapy will work.

Immediate court action is sometimes necessary. The father should enforce the court orders.

By enforcement we mean going to court and seeking a modification proceeding or even a family law contempt action if the mother violated the court order.

Sometimes a minor's counsel or a court-appointed child custody evaluator flushes out parental alienation. But those are not a substitute for your vigilance.

To learn more about child custody evaluations (sometimes called 730 evaluations) in family law cases, check out our guide linked below.

Essential Additional Reading for Fathers Who Want Full Custody

• What is a 730 Evaluation?
• Parental Alienation is a Stalker
• Improper Ways Parents Stop a Child From Seeing the Other Parent?

How can a father get full custody of his child when the mother is an unfit parent?

Notice in the above scenarios we did not get into the mother's actual parenting of the child.

We have seen mothers who withhold or limit contact but otherwise take good care of their child.

We have seen mothers who alienate the children but from the outside looking in, a person would never know that is happening.

A lot of these mothers are actually good caretakers but it is their anger, bitterness or just evil motivations that drive them to do the things they do.

So what happens in the scenario? Where a mother is not withholding contact, is not limiting contact, is not engaging in parental alienation but is simply unfit to be the primary parent?

California family law does not allow family law judges to discriminate in custody cases on the basis of gender. If a father is clearly the better parent and it is in the child's best interest for the father to have full custody of his child, that is exactly what the family law court should order.

A mother's unfitness can come in many forms

We summarize a few of them below.

The continual or habitual abuse of alcohol or drugs

Drugs include prescription medication. If the mother has a substance abuse problem, whether the substance is alcohol, illegal drugs or prescription medication, that mother may be unfit to be the primary custodial parent.

Do not mistake this for a mother who had a substance abuse problem in the past but has since recovered. We've noticed family courts are forgiving of a parent that used to suffer from substance abuse but took the necessary steps to stop the abuse.

Domestic violence

Domestic violence is another issue that may make mother unfit to care for the child.

This is especially true when the mother engaged in domestic violence against the father and the court made a finding of domestic violence against the mother.

This court may be the family Court within the context of a restraining order or criminal court within the context of the mother's arrest, prosecution and conviction for domestic violence.

It is beyond the scope of this article to explain how domestic violence and child custody affect each other. We highly encourage you to read the article we wrote on the impact of domestic violence and child custody, linked below.

Inability to take care of the child's day-to-day needs

For a father to get full custody of his child does not require the mother to engage in willful misconduct.

If the mother is unable to take care of the child's day-to-day needs but the father can, it is appropriate for the father to get full custody. Failure to care for the child's day-to-day needs includes failure to properly perform the following:

• grooming,
• feeding,
• housing,
• attending to educational needs such as helping with homework and ensuring the child attends school on time, etc.

There are all appropriate factors.

The question we ask is, "how is the mother caring for the child?" "Does she attend to the child's health, safety, education and general welfare on a competent and consistent basis?"

If the answer is no and the father is able to provide for such needs, then full custody may just be the answer.

Articles on Addiction, Domestic Violence and California Child Custody Laws

• Divorcing an Addict
• How Does Domestic Violence Affect Child Custody?
• Ultimate Guide on California Child Custody Laws

How can a father get full custody of his child by getting temporary orders?

Family courts make child custody decisions on both a temporary basis and at the end of the case by a judgment.

The judgment is not really final because the proper circumstances justify a modification.

For temporary orders, fathers file a request for order and obtain a hearing date. A request for order triggers a court date set by the court clerk and a mediation date that precedes the court date.

We will not go into detail in this article about the mediation process and the actual request for hearing.

You should read our wonderful guide on California child custody laws to learn more about that.

Fathers should not be crazy enough to represent themselves at these hearings. Experienced representation in our opinion is a must. It can increase your chances of success.

An experienced family law attorney can usually present a more persuasive case, both factually and legally.

How can a father get full custody of his child at the trial stage?

Temporary orders come before the judgment. Regardless of what temporary orders a court made, a father may seek full custody of his child at the judgment stage.

Trial is the judgment phase. The trial is the final hearing before the court pronounces a judgment.

Trials are complex and usually involve testimony and introduction of other evidence.

Similar to request for order hearings, a father should not represent himself. He should always have experienced and intelligent family law representation.

How can a father get full custody of his child after the custody judgment?

Just because the Family Court did not award full custody in a judgment does not preclude the father from seeking a modification.

The court has the power to award full custody to any parent after the judgment. For a complete modification of custody, that burden of proof is often a significant change of circumstances.

That means the father must show there has been a significant change of circumstances. That change justifies the modification since the last court order.

More Resources for Fathers

• Winning Custody in the Face of False Abuse Allegations
• Divorcing a Narcissist Wife
• 10 Pieces of Great Divorce Advice for Men

Our final thoughts on fathers getting full custody of their child

No article can cover every scenario on how a father should get full custody of his child.

We hope this article provided you with a general understanding of the subject.

This article is not legal advice and does not apply to your specific situation. Use your common sense and immediately contact our family law firm if you need help.

We offer an affordable strategy session. Our firm has offices in Orange County, Los Angeles and San Diego.

Your Strategy Session

About your strategy session

Southern California Offices

Locations

Our Services and Fees

Frequently asked questions

Strategy sessions are designed for the serious parent. We know how important your children are to you. Their health, safety and best interests are our priority.

We arrange custody of a child with living parents

Children are the most unprotected category of people in society. Sometimes it is they who need protection more than adults. In life, there are situations in which fathers and mothers do not show the necessary care for their children. There are solutions to this problem in the legislation. One solution to the problem is guardianship.

Free consultation on family issues specialist Sergey Borisovich Volkov REQUEST A CALL

Guardianship of a minor is issued in the event that the father and mother do not fully fulfill their obligations to the child. To obtain the status of a guardian for a child who has parents, the law establishes the following.

• This can be both a physical and mental disorder, in which there is no full-fledged care for the child.
• Field of activity related to permanent and unlimited business trips. nine0016
• The territory of residence of the father and mother is in another city or country.
• Lack of opportunity to provide your own child with things necessary for life, growth and development.
• The desire of parents to give up their child on a voluntary basis.

The Family Code still contains reasons related to the return of the father and mother of the child. Parents have not reached the 16-year return, and the relationship is not registered according to the norms of the legislation of the Russian Federation. nine0003

• Legal legislation puts the interests of the child at the head. That is why a prerequisite for the life of the baby and his social development is to improve the standard of living and his environment before the change of guardianship. A complete list of requirements is specified in article 146 of the Family Code
• The guardian must have full legal capacity. This means that the guardian must have a legal form of legal action and it is he who is absolutely responsible for the execution of any action related to the field of jurisprudence. nine0016
• It is unacceptable to have criminal or administrative punishment, as well as cases of deprivation of parental rights from a person who wants to become a guardian and take care of a child.

A person who is ready to take responsibility for a minor citizen will not be appointed as a guardian if he has a chronic drug or alcohol addiction (a mandatory medical examination of candidates for guardianship is carried out). And also people with the first group of disability are not allowed to guardianship. nine0003

The legal legislation of the Russian Federation provides for only two main possibilities for obtaining custody of a child:

• - the presence of written consent from the biological parents
• - availability of documents indicating the deprivation of legal parents of their parental rights

• Before the age of 14 of the minor.
• In case of deprivation of the father and mother of the rights to the child, then until the age of 18, and in exceptional situations up to 23 years.
• When there is a temporary lack of opportunities for full-fledged child care.

Guardianship for a certain period of time is issued in the following cases:

• The father and mother officially terminated their marriage.
• A person who has not reached the age of majority attends an educational institution located far from the place of residence
• An unfavorable economic situation in the family or one of the parents has a serious physical or mental deviation.

The process for obtaining guardianship of a minor with a disability is very different from that of a child without a disability. All this is due to the fact that disabled children are more defenseless. According to the law, disability is considered to be physical and mental disabilities. nine0003

• A person who wants to become a guardian of a child with a disability must go through the most difficult procedure.
• Proper comprehensive medical examination.
• Written parental consent is required. If this consent is not provided by the guardian, the registration process is very complicated.

GET A PRICE