As they explained to us in the Special Combine of the KBO in Minsk, in order to find a burial place, parents must provide the child's surname, date of death and the hospital where the birth took place. Each such child is buried in a separate grave.

If in case of loss of a child the parents have some choice, then in case of a miscarriage there is none at all - the body will not be given to you, because it is not covered by the law and a death certificate is not issued, therefore, it cannot be buried. This is explained by the fact that, according to WHO criteria, a person today “begins” at 22 weeks, 25 cm in height and 500 grams of weight (with intensive nursing, he can survive outside the mother’s body). Anyone who does not meet these criteria is called a miscarriage and is not endowed with human rights.

Not all people are ready to put up with this, believing that a dead fetus cannot be limited in rights based on medical criteria. In the world this problem is raised in different ways. Someone solves this issue illegally and buries the body in a family grave, someone tries to change the law, someone publishes shocking photos of miscarriages to draw attention to the problem.

- Until we can give the fetus to the parents because we do not know what they will do with it, the law does not regulate such burials. But people should probably have the right to choose, - Alexander Nerovnya believes. - This is not a question for doctors, but for legislators and lawyers. It must also be decided on the basis of the traditions of our society. We need to see how it used to be.

- Previously, there were cemeteries for stillborns, including miscarriages, - says Chairman of the Synodal Information Department of the Belarusian Orthodox Church, Archpriest Sergiy Lepin . – The position of the Church here is unequivocal – everyone should be buried humanly. An embryo is a person at a certain stage of development. One cannot be more or less human, half-human or sub-human. Our opinion is based not only on church teaching, but also on banal scientific truths. Such a vision defines our attitude to abortion as to the murder of a person, our attitude to the body of a miscarriage is also based on this - this is a human corpse. And if so, then he should be buried humanly. It is not waste, not garbage, and should be in the cemetery, and not “disposed of” by some other methods. I'm not sure that it is technically possible today to make a separate cemetery for miscarriages, but of course, it is necessary to provide for the allocation of some territory for such small dead. And it seems to me that parents should not only be given the right to bury, but the funeral itself should be made mandatory, since the human status of the embryo does not depend on the will of parents, doctors or anyone else. Of course, for this it is necessary to revise the legislation at a deeper level than just allowing or not allowing to say goodbye. The topic is very relevant and certainly deserves to be continued.

The MATULIA Family and Maternity Support Center, in cooperation with the Ministry of Health, has long been working with women who have suffered the loss of a child at different times, including in the first trimester. The organization's psychologists have received special training and have extensive practical experience in order to express their opinion on how a family should say goodbye to their unborn children.

“We believe that parents should go through the process and that they should have the right to dispose of their child’s remains at any time of loss,” says head of the organization Veronika Serdyuk . - To think that we are showing mercy, pity the psyche of the parents, not giving them the dead fetus, is the wrong approach. We see that mothers who have not experienced a full farewell, then live in depression for a long time, refuse or are afraid to give birth again. It's impossible to forget. It is necessary to respect this life, to recognize that it was inscribed in the history of the family, to give it the necessary honor. The procedure may be different, but it must be offered, there must be a choice. I saw how this happens in foreign clinics: when a stillborn is born, the whole family comes to say goodbye, read prayers, dress the body, take photographs. It is important that parents and their loved ones know that it is possible to turn to a psychologist, discuss this part of their life, reflect and mourn.

It seems to me that this issue should be considered at the level of the Ministry of Health. It may not be clear right away, but then it will become the norm, as pre-abortion counseling and partner childbirth have already become the norm.

According to Veronika Serdyuk, the origins of the problem are that the large-scale abortion practice of the past and present has not formed a reverence for life in our society.

In Sweden, parents are offered two options for saying goodbye to the fetus: anonymous and personal. The anonymous method involves cremation as a biomaterial. With the personal method, a naming ceremony is arranged with the participation of the hospital priest, when the child is given a name, photographed, a hand or foot print is made as a keepsake for the parents. If the fetus is very small, even 10 cm, it is brought to parents on a napkin. Hospitals have individual case managers who take care of family support in such situations.

There is a whole system of perinatal palliative care in the USA. It arose precisely at the request of a society dissatisfied with the existing order of things. A team of pediatricians, nurses and social workers help families cope with the loss of a child. As the head of such a department of the Boston Children's Hospital, Joan Wolf, told the media, in the United States, parents have long been recommended to say goodbye to a child or fetus, whatever it may be, to participate in mourning events, no matter how hard it may be.

- Previously, the US also adhered to the position that it is not necessary to traumatize poor parents and show dead children and miscarriages. But scientific studies have shown that in the long run, for many, this alleged “care of the psyche” led to serious problems. The woman has an unprocessed psychotrauma. She does not understand - there was something or not. The rite of farewell, as it were, puts an end to it. Therefore, now all mothers are asked the question: do you want to? Most agree, - says the specialist.

If a child is physically handicapped, doctors warn relatives about this, and before handing it over to them, they swaddle it, put on a cap to brighten up the shortcomings, although for many this is not necessary, because parents are full of love and perceive the baby as your part. Miscarriages are given to parents in the same way as children after 22 weeks (everything is decided by the family). Usually such a child is buried like everyone else.

In Russia, in 2019, an experiment was launched to develop such a perinatal palliative. The pilot project has been launched in two Moscow hospitals (City Clinical Hospital named after S. S. Yudin and City Clinical Hospital No. 24). To help the family, they want to combine the efforts of obstetricians / perinatologists, anesthesiologists, neonatologists, nurses from intensive care units and resuscitation of newborns, psychologists, social workers, and priests. Specialists will undergo special training, algorithms and standards of assistance will be formed.

In Kazakhstan in 2018, the question of how to bury miscarriages and stillborns was brought to a meeting (fatwa) of Kazakh ulema – Islamic scholars. They gave the following recommendations: if a woman has a miscarriage before 81 days after conception, that is, when the fetus has not yet formed arms, legs, hair, then funeral rites are not performed. If a miscarriage occurs after 81 days (about 12 weeks), it must be wrapped in a clean white cloth and buried. If the child is fully formed, but still born dead, it must be washed, given a name and buried.

Poland and Israel have separate cemeteries for stillborn children.

Apparently, the theme of a full farewell to non-surviving children has already been worked out in the world and is beginning to be actively discussed in the post-Soviet space. There are standards that we can study and recommend in hospitals. Today, in every hospital there are psychologists who work with women in a crisis situation. Surely, they can cooperate more actively with doctors and build professional communication with patients on new principles. A more complex issue with the status of miscarriages: here we need a joint discussion and decision of lawyers, doctors, deputies and public organizations.

Healthy people

How to bury a miscarriage? | islam.ru

Question: A tragedy happened in our family - my wife had a miscarriage. My wife was five months pregnant when we lost our baby. Now the question is how to bury the fetus. Please tell me, is it necessary to bury a miscarriage, observing all funeral rites?

Answer:

Imam Khatib al-Shirbini in his book “Mugni al-Muhtaj” writes the following regarding miscarriage:

( وإلا) أي وإ opinions vent لم يlf (إges Signs of life, like a seizure or movement, then make a memorial prayer (Dzhanaza) ...