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Where Did Happy Mama Go?

February 22, 2022 by Anne-Renee Gumley Leave a Comment

Hello, friend! We'd love to have you join The Masterpiece Mom on Facebook! Hope to see you there.

What happened to happy mama?

The question hung in the air as I sat at the piano, my fingers perched gently on the keyboard. A beautiful piece by Debussy waited in front of me; one of my favorites. But somehow I couldn’t quite conjure up the desire to push down on the black and white keys. Like the actual undertaking of playing a song was too joyous for the cloud of doubt and dejection that seemed permanently suspended over my head.

The joy of the Lord is your strength.  (Nehemiah 8:10)

Filed Under: Encouragement, Mothering

So You’re Drowning as a Mom, Now What?

February 15, 2022 by Amanda Bacon 2 Comments

In the last fifteen years, I can pinpoint several specific seasons of motherhood where I was absolutely drowning.

I’m not talking about a string of bad days where everything seemed to go wrong. I’m talking about weeks, months, or possibly even years of struggle upon struggle. During these times, I’m tense, stressed, depressed, complain-y, moody, and an all-around grump with the unusual sense that the glass is perpetually half-empty. It is during these times I know I can’t continue down the current path.

Nope. Nuh uh. No way.

Something had to give or the mama of the house was going to completely FLIP. OUT.

If you’ve felt this way about your mothering, or you’re in this sort of season currently, I’m sorry. It’s a hard place to be.

A fellow mom I’ve known since she was a young teen recently contacted me in this exact position. She was overwhelmed and at the end of her rope. I clung to her words. They made perfect sense to me. I heard her cry for help through the words typed out in a Facebook message. I knew right where she was, because I’ve been there. Her words were so familiar. Her heart beat with a love for her children, and desire to do things differently, resulting in joyful mothering. Isn’t that what we all desire?

Some fun. Some peace. Some love, and some sanity thrown in for good measure?

Meeting and talking with my friend spurred on some of my own thoughts —  what sort of things have helped the hard seasons settle back into normal-ish routine and healthy thought patterns where I didn’t feel like running away or sending everyone off to Grandma’s for a year week?

I’ve narrowed it down to a few questions I’ve learned to ask myself when times are exceedingly tough.

1. What feels impossible right now?

Whenever I feel overloaded and burdened, it helps for me to actually put pen to paper and list everything that feels too difficult. Last year I wrote about it right HERE. Just getting it all out of my mind and in front of me in a notebook helps me see that, yeah, my load is lot to bear. It helps me understand that I’m not crazy or wimpy. It also helps me navigate conversations with Jeremy. I’m less ramble-y and more to the point when I’ve untangled the knots and figured out exactly what is making me so stressed. I’m also less likely to melt into a puddle of tears because I’ve already faced everything that feels hard, so the inevitable conversation I’ll have with my husband isn’t the first time I’ve faced it. Husbands appreciate this. Well, at least mine does. Just last night I made a list of all the difficult decisions we’re needing to make in the next few months. My list is ten items deep. I did this all before having a husband/wife chat about it. It helps. It truly does.

2. What seems to help alleviate the struggles?

So now that you’ve figured out your struggles, is there anything that actually helps alleviate some of the stress you’re feeling? Like, maybe you’ve realized that the stress you feel about your chronically messy house is actually helped when you’ve set the timer for 10 minutes before bed in the past and the whole family tidies the place up. Maybe the few months you spent in therapy for yourself really made a difference two years ago. It may be time to revisit that. If you’ve found something that alleviates the stress, jot it down. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but writing things down and seeing them right there on paper makes a big difference. Sometimes we need to stop and remember what has helped, because sometimes we give up new habits too soon.

3. Are there habits I’m clinging to that are draining the life out of my family and I?

Speaking of habits — some are life-giving, some are life-draining. Are there habits you’re engaging in that are sucking the life out of you and your family? Are you spending too much time on social media? Are you spending precious time thinking negative thoughts about yourself and others? Are you allowing your kids to run mealtime and bedtime? At times we get stuck in the way we’ve always done it, and get lost in thinking our current method is the only solution. I’ve seen moms completely lose their junk trying to make each child happy at a meal. “Oh, you don’t like the green beans and grilled cheese I made, my precious little lamb? Here’s some chips and hotdogs instead. You don’t LIKE THAT EITHER?” (Stomps away, or yells, or worse — makes them something else.) Maybe we’ll stop losing our junk if we drop the draining habits. There is another way. Are we clinging to habits that are life-giving or life-draining?

A wise mentor gave me some stellar advice recently when I spoke to her about a struggle I was having on a certain day of the week. She urged me to reorient my mind by making a new routine for that day — to break the unhealthy emotional cycle I was in by changing some of my actions. Do you know what? It’s working.

Let’s stop and consider how our methods are affecting ourselves and our families. And you guessed it! Write them down and consider letting a brand-new habit replace the most draining thing on your list. Baby steps. And if you get brave, and one of those new life-giving habits becomes routine? Tackle the second-most draining next, and so on.

4. Am I finding ways to feed my soul?

Ah, yes. We really do need to take care of ourselves. Are we communing with God through prayer and scripture reading/study? Are we handing burdens over to Jesus? After all, we weren’t meant to carry them. He’s waiting, ready to help.

Are we communicating with and making time for friends? Are we taking time to be “us”? I’m not talking elaborate days or weekends away from our families (though those are fun too!), I’m talking the everyday action of doing something we enjoy. Maybe it’s a date with Netflix after the kids are in bed. Maybe it’s reading or a daily phone call to someone you love. Maybe it’s a bath or painting your toenails. Maybe it’s conversation or a game with your spouse. Whatever feeds your soul, do more of that. Perhaps making a list of all the things we love to do would serve as a reminder to take care of us. More writing, I know. 

 

Some of us are in the midst of difficult times that are not solved by changing habits or writing things down. I feel you. But maybe some of what I’ve shared will help even a little bit. And for that I’m grateful.

Do you need prayer? Let us know in the comments, or email us: info(at)themasterpiecemom.com

We’d be honored to pray for you. 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Mothering

When Your World Seems Topsy-Turvy

February 8, 2022 by Anne-Renee Gumley 2 Comments

 

Well hello, you guys! On today’s episode, we are talking about our WORDS. Ways we use our words to heal … and ways we use our words to hurt — in our relationships and in our role as a mom.

Join us as we discuss the potency of those little words and phrases that just seem to roll off our tongues (some planned, some provoked). Maybe, just maybe, you’re like us and there’s some you’d like to eliminate from your repertoire, or perhaps a few you’d like to add. We’ll chat about that too.

And as we embrace the subject of speech, please know that your feedback is powerful as well. We would LOVE to hear from you. Feel free to leave a review on iTunes, or right here in the the Comments. Because your words matter to us! Thank you.

Also? Do you see that nifty new Listen Now button up top? Click to listen if the below player isn’t available on your phone!

https://traffic.libsyn.com/themasterpiecemom/Podcast_-_Episode_46.mp3

 

Filed Under: The Podcast

When We Wish It Wasn’t This Hard

February 2, 2022 by Amanda Bacon 4 Comments

I’ve often heard women say, “It shouldn’t be this hard.” I’ve often heard myself say the same.

Maybe I’m making it too hard. Maybe it really IS hard, and I’m not handling it well. Either way, let me share something with you that may or may not feel comforting.

It’s guaranteed to be hard.

In John 16:33, Jesus was speaking to His disciples about the times to come. He would be going away for a bit, but then they’d see Him again. He said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus sets a guarantee with those words that life will be troublesome at times. Possibly at more times than we’d care for. And to a greater degree than we ever thought possible.

In my mothering journey, the same kiddos keep doing the same wrong things day after day, year after year, with no end in sight. And I’m tired.

In my trust journey, the same fears and worries keep bubbling to the surface even though I’ve set them in Jesus’ ever-capable hands. I keep yanking them back, unintentionally mulling them over again and again, as if thinking about them and getting emotional about them will lessen their reality. And it doesn’t.

In my journey of following Jesus, I’ve set it in my heart to do whatever He asks of me. I’ve followed Him anywhere He led. And the heartbreak has been greater than I’d ever imagined it could be.

It can be difficult to make sense of it all.

We are not guaranteed a trouble-free life just because we follow Christ. We are guaranteed that He will be with us, leaving His peace for us. His presence and peace becomes the guarantee. Oh. Yes. We can’t do without that.

I would rather the troubles stay, than to be without His peace and presence as I navigate life.

After all, Jesus says their “grief will turn to joy.” (John 16:20) The hard times are not permanent. But how will they leave? When?

Our grief will turn to joy in His time. In His way. Keep trusting, keep hoping, keep laying those burdens down at His feet. Keep taking the next step He gives you to take.

“Take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Faith

The Path to Breaking Busy

January 25, 2022 by Anne-Renee Gumley Leave a Comment

Last January, we devoted an entire episode of the podcast to our favorite things from the last year! It was so much fun, we decided to make it a tradition. In this episode, we talk about our favorites from 2015 such as songs, books, food, movies, tea, spiritual truths and more! Join us?

Below the player, we’ve listed several items we thought you might appreciate us linking to. So here you go! Happy 2022 to you and yours. Thanks for listening!

Podcast episode:

Jennifer Smith // Emily P. Freeman // Amanda Carroll // Lisa-Jo Baker // Teri Lynne Underwood

You’re Not Crazy, It’s Just Mama Brain // Let’s All Be Kind to Ourselves This Summer

Other podcasts we enjoy:

Hope*ologie // Kathi Lipp // Art of Simple // Focus on the Family

 

Filed Under: The Podcast

Counting It All Joy

January 11, 2022 by Anne-Renee Gumley 2 Comments

My soul was itching for a break, in desperate need of a slow Saturday timeout. Just me, my favorite cozy blanket (the one that looks like soft curly dog hair), and a hot cup of tea. Sheer bliss. I could almost feel my body relaxing at the mere thought of putting my feet up and doing absolutely nothing but stare at my socks. I had to refrain from audibly sighing as I hurriedly finished the last load of laundry and half-walked / half-ran to my favorite chair. Yes! At last!

But as I burrowed into my magnificent blanket oasis, a scratchy object caught my eye.

You have got to be kidding me, I grumbled aloud.

A booger. A nasty dried-out crusty ol’ booger on my beautiful birthday blanket! For the love! Who does these things? Seriously. Who cannot wait the 2 seconds it takes to walk a measly 15 feet to the bathroom and grab a tissue from the box? And who would have the audacity to wipe such a disgusting thing, something the body clearly did not want, from their nose onto my lovely clean blanket?!

Obviously my husband and I were exempt from this Guess Who game. My blood boiled as my dreams of a blissful mommy break went up in smoke in favor of finding the culprit and giving them a piece (or two) of my mind.

But then my thoughts did a little recall of the verse I’d read just that morning. It started with these powerful words: “Count it all joy…”

ALL? Really?

And JOY. That small, yet potent little word that had been creeping into my thoughts day and night. Jumping out at me in the most random places. At Target. At church. Online devotionals. Even my leftover Christmas décor was talking to me now.

You see, like many of you, I like to choose a word for my year. Something that will challenge me in my walk with the Lord and remind me to focus on Him when life gets out of whack. And the word JOY had been bouncing around in my head and heart for several days.

RSVP right here in the comments, or go to the event page (right HERE) on Facebook. While you’re at it, click Like on our Facebook page so you can stay up-to-date about future events!

Filed Under: Encouragement

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