Last night I shopped the closets and drawers in our home to put together outfits for the ten of us to wear for a little family photo shoot today. My criteria was as such: we need things to wear that aren’t too match-y, aren’t too clash-y, and won’t cost a thing. We’ll be attempting this feat in the great (and freezing) outdoors, and we’re praying for just one shot in which: 1) We’re all looking. 2) We don’t look too stressed. 3) The two year-old doesn’t freak out. Because, um, she’s in a rather spicy stage right now.

I remember back when taking family photos was a stressful event when we had two kids, but now with eight of ’em? Ooh boy. It’s a whole different thing. But I don’t think it matters how many kids you have, getting a decent group picture is tricky business. I applaud all photographers for their patience, creativity, and mad skill. And all mothers for the same.

I love, love, love receiving Christmas photo cards in the mail year after year. I stop and gaze at them often during the weeks they’re displayed in our entryway. Then after the holidays pass, I line the inside of our pantry cabinet with them, so I can smile at and pray for the families all year long. It’s my favorite. So, if you send me a card, you can know it will be treasured and handled with care.

Even though these shiny-happy paper guests usually invoke smiles, sometimes they have the capacity to make us droop a little too. Our smile fades when we stare too long and too hard at the perfectly placed children who aren’t pitching fits and who clearly adore each other. All the time. It says so right in their smiles. Then our eyes wander to that glorious mom who managed to pull it all together while looking awfully amazing herself. We conclude in ten seconds or less that we stink. We didn’t even send cards. And even if we did, there’s no way we’d all come out looking like THAT.

As we sit smack-dab in the middle of happy-mail season, I want us to remember something as we tear at the foil-lined envelopes and pull out a bit of Christmas cheer. Actually, there are a few somethings I want us to keep in mind that might help us have the right perspective about all this:

1.  You don’t need to send cards. I repeat: You do not need to send cards. There is no special place in the front of the Christmas buffet line in heaven for those who put in the effort and fork over the cash required. Release yourself from any guilt. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing.

2.  As mentioned above, there’s no secret chamber of God’s heart for those who manage to get it together enough to brighten their loved ones’ mail stacks each year. It’s strictly optional. If it’s your thing, it’s your thing. It can be a really good, positive, and encouraging thing, and it happens to be something I really enjoy doing. Though this year, we obviously aren’t going to get any sort of card printed and send out by next week. We’re aiming for the New Year. This just might become a new family tradition.

3.  If you are the type to send out a greeting this time of year like me, I’m going to ask us a pointed question: Are you seeking to impress people or bless God? It’s an important question to answer, because we can’t do both. Are we touting all we’ve done or all our kids have done in a year? Or are we recounting God’s gifts and faithfulness to us? After all, Christmas is about celebrating the gift of Jesus and His accomplishments, not ours. I’m proposing we give the glory back to Him as we send our greetings. After all, glory was never ours for the taking.

4.  And finally, just as we all know a family photo is not going to tell the whole story of our crazy family, please, please remember they won’t tell the whole story of theirs either. There is SO much more that goes on (for the good and the bad) behind the plastered grins and Christmas sweaters. We know this about ourselves. We must know this about them too. There are no perfect families. Don’t believe that for one second.

I’m wondering if any of you just heaved a heavy sigh of relief like I did. It’s so freeing to release ourselves from the pressure to perform and the temptation to compare ourselves to everyone, isn’t it?

Jesus didn’t come to turn us into photo-ready followers, He came to turn our lives around. May we always rejoice in His coming with gratitude, and think twice about the message we’re sending out and allowing into our thoughts during this season.

Merry Christmas from us to you!

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Amanda Bacon

Amanda is a stay-at-home mom of eight kids and has been married for sixteen years to the most helpful man on the planet. She is an adoption advocate and encouraging voice for moms everywhere.

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Latest posts by Amanda Bacon (see all)

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