How to stop my child from sucking her thumb

Help Children Stop Thumbsucking: 9 Tips

Your preschooler won't stop sucking their thumb? Help your child kick the habit for good

Written by Heather Hatfield

Kara Angelone's 3-year-old daughter Addie was a thumb-sucker from day one -- literally. Tucked away in her baby book is an ultrasound image of Addie sucking her thumb in the womb. Now, three years later, she's still not ready to let it go.

"It makes her feel safe and comfortable," Angelone says. "I can tell it helps soothe her because, whenever she feels stressed, in goes the thumb and she calms down in a second."

But should a 3-year-old still be sucking their thumb? Experts in psychology, pediatrics, and pediatric dentistry say there are things parents can do to help their children move past thumb or finger sucking.

Soothing by Thumb Sucking

"Sucking is very natural for babies," pediatrician Robert Anderson says. "It's very common for them to use their thumbs or fingers as part of their routine to find comfort and to soothe themselves. "

Within the first few months of life, or even sooner, a baby can become a thumb or finger sucker as a way to fall asleep, to calm down, or to just feel good, Anderson says.

At this stage, not only is thumb or finger sucking common, it is considered harmless in terms of a child's growth and speech development. The questions most parents ask themselves, however, is how long should it go on? Should a child still suck their thumb when they are ready for preschool?

Kids Who Won't Quit Thumb Sucking

"Usually, a child who is in the 2- to 4-year range will start to develop other coping skills beyond thumb or finger sucking, such as language development," says pediatric dentist Mary Hayes.

Hayes says these coping skills replace the need for a child to suck on a thumb or finger. But for some kids, thumb sucking or finger sucking is harder to kick, which could lead to problems for their growing mouths.

"We used to think that as long as a child stopped sucking by the time they developed their permanent teeth there would be minimal impact on the mouth and jaw," Hayes says. "Now, research shows that thumb or finger sucking can have an impact even at a younger age -- as young as 2 to 4 years old."

Hayes, a diplomat and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, says that the sucking puts pressure on the sides of the upper jaw and the soft tissue on the roof of the mouth. As a result, the upper jaw can narrow, causing the teeth to not meet properly from the top to the bottom. Although this can be fixed with braces, it can also cause speech problems such as a lisp that may need to be corrected in therapy.

The long-term effects of thumb or finger sucking don't stop there. If a child has a cross-bite, a condition in which the upper and lower teeth don't meet properly, it can make it worse. A "thumb hole" in the roof of the mouth, which comes from sucking, can cause the teeth in the back of the mouth to take on the brunt of chewing. This causes an imbalance across the teeth and affects the structure of the mouth and jaw as they are growing with the child.

"The trick is to work with the child to lessen her dependency on thumb sucking or finger sucking before the coping skill turns into a habit," Hayes says.

How to Curb the Sucking

When your child reaches the preschool age, it might be tempting to pop their thumb out of their mouth every time they start to suck, especially if you think it might be affecting the growth and development of their teeth and jaw. But you may want to consider resisting that urge and use a different strategy.

"This is a self-soothing activity," family psychologist Jenn Berman says. "It is important to remember that you will not have a child who is going off to college sucking his thumb. It will eventually come to an end."

Adults don't realize how anxiety-provoking growing up is for children, and sucking their thumbs or fingers is a soothing activity that can help reduce their anxiety, Berman says. So if your child is approaching preschool and still sucking away, here's how to handle it correctly:

DO try to limit the time that your child sucks his thumb to his bedroom or in the house, not in public, Berman says. Explain to him that this is a bed activity during nap time and at night.
DON'T turn it into a confrontation. "Don't tell your child, ‘You cannot suck your thumb anymore,'" Anderson says. "Try to recognize him and praise him when he's not sucking his thumb instead of criticizing when he is."
DO talk to your child about their thumb sucking or finger sucking. "Help your child understand that when she is ready to stop, you will be there to help," Berman says. "She will eventually come to you and tell you, ‘Mommy, I don't want to suck my thumb anymore,' because you've empowered her to get there."
DON'T prohibit your child if he tries to suck his thumb or fingers after being hurt or injured. "He needs to be in his comfort zone, and by not letting him go there, you're only traumatizing him more," Berman says.
DO practice self-awareness with your child. "When your child is sucking his thumb, ask him, ‘Do you know you are sucking your thumb now?'" Hayes says. "If he says no, help him recognize that, and find another way to soothe him if he needs it, like a blanket or stuffed animal. "
DON'T use the nasty-tasting stuff that is marketed to stop thumb sucking and finger sucking. "It's just cruel," Berman says. "It's pulling the rug out from under your child and that's not fair."
DO come up with creative ways to help your child understand that they are growing up and one day won't suck their thumb anymore. "Ask your child, ‘Do you think Bob the Builder sucks his thumb?'" Hayes says. "Then they'll think about, and start to process whether they want to be sucking their thumbs anymore."
DON'T try a glove or a mitten on the hand as a quick-fix to thumb or finger sucking. "This will just frustrate them and cause more anxiety," Anderson says. "Likely, they're old enough to just take it off, and as a result, they'll just want to suck more."
DO remember that a child will grow out of the need for thumb sucking or finger sucking when he's good and ready. "While parents may not like it, it's best left alone," Berman says. "Kids will eventually give it up. "

8 Ways to Stop the Thumb Sucking Habit

Get that thumb out of there! Why don't we try taking it out? You can hold your doll instead. I'll give you a treat if you don't suck your thumb for the rest of the day. Sound familiar?! As a parent to a thumb sucking child, I know it can be frustrating!Babies learn to suck their thumb as a natural reflex. The sucking reflex is an innate behavior they have in order to suckle their milk and get nutrition. When they find their thumb at that young an age it becomes a habit for them to self-soothe and stays with them as they grow. Some children use only one hand and some use both. If your child is a strong sucker, the habit may cause their mouth to change shape, creating an overbite where the front teeth look pushed out. If they stop before the permanent teeth come in, this may correct itself, but there is still a chance that the palate may need correcting with a palate expander and braces when they are older.

Here are 8 tips to help stop the thumb sucking habit:

1. Use positive reinforcement; not negative. Praise and reward your child when they don’t suck their thumb. Reward charts and gentle reminders are helpful. A great example of this is a sticker chart where every time you catch your child not sucking her thumb, she gets a sticker. This may require stickers as often as every few minutes so they start to understand how it works. Then you spread it out to every hour, then every few hours, then every day.

2. Keep the hands busy and provide distraction. In reality, you can't keep them distracted 100% of the time so this may work in conjunction with other methods. Arts and crafts, dancing, writing, jewelry making, sports, baking, biking, playing with toys are all good methods of distraction.

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3. Mask wearing! One added benefit of our kids needing to wear a mask to protect them from coronavirus is that it deters those dirty hands from going up to their faces. It's a secondary benefit, creating a barrier to prevent them from putting the thumb in their mouths.

4. Thumb guards. There are many on the market and some can get a bit expensive. One option is TGuard that has a version of the thumb guard that is a bit bendable, allowing your child to still engage in daily activities without much difficulty. The thumbguard is the most successful way to help your child stop if it is used correctly. The sides of the thumbguard have air holes so your child can not create suction when trying to suck it. Speak to your dentist about thumb guards, devices that go in the mouth, or other suggestions they may have.5. Bad tasting nail polish. These usually do not work very well because children usually want their finger in their mouth enough to tolerate the bad taste, but may be worth a try. If you try one brand and it stops working, you can alternate with another brand with a different taste. This option is also more affordable.

6. Do NOT ridicule, tease, or punish for the behavior. I know this is a list of things TO do, but it is so important not to do these things that I had to add it into the list. The damage of doing this can be long lived and may do nothing to help them. Keep it positive and upbeat to best encourage them.

6. Have a heart to heart. If your child is older and can sit down with you to really get into an effective conversation about thumb sucking, then try it! Some very important points to bring up that may have an impact are:

The spread of germs - we all know by now that hands in the mouth is one way we can spread germs. Kids don't want to be sick and miss out on school, activities, sports, and time with friends. Staying healthy is a good incentive!

The avoidance of serious dental work - if your child is sucking her thumb to be old enough to have this conversation, it's likely to have done some damage already, but perhaps they can minimize the chances for still needing a palate expander among additional orthodontic interventions. It can help to avoid expensive and sometimes painful orthodontic work to stop early.

Bullying - it's important each child recognizes they are amazing, thumb sucking or not, but some kids may be impacted by peer pressure. They will want to fit in and not be ridiculed. This is a hard one to talk about because you don't want to make them feel bad or guilty about thumb sucking, but to gently explain that some kids may pick on them for sucking their thumb.

7. Speech impediments - difficulty saying certain letters comes with the habit of thumb sucking when the palate has changed shape and doesn't allow for placement of the tongue where it is supposed to be when forming certain sounds. It may make it much tougher for a child to learn how to speak correctly and would require extra services, which can come with some frustration.8. Socks on the hands during sleep or cloth covers during the day. This may be a short term fix, but if they are removable, it's pretty likely your child will out-wit the sock. If they are older, the covering may act as a reminder that the thumb is unavailable and be able to help them when they go to suck the thumb subconsciously, which undoubtedly happens all the time.

Can they stop on their own?

Most children stop sucking their thumb by the time they are in elementary school and if they have not stopped by then, peer pressure may push them to stop once they are older. They may continue to suck their thumb at night and in private as a form of comfort, but have the ability to control when they do it.Dentists usually do recommend implementing an intervention to stop the behavior before it can do damage. Not all pediatricians follow the same recommendations, however everyone agrees usually that the choice to actively stop them from thumb sucking is a personal one that needs to be made by each family based on their own needs and children’s personalities.Putting too much pressure on them to stop sucking their thumb may not be effective and can cause more harm than good so be sure to assess the situation carefully. It may be useful to use several of these recommendations together to optimize chances any of them will work. It is always helpful to discuss these choices with your Pediatrician, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that you know your child better than anyone. It is not an easy decision to make. Blueberry can also help talk it through with you. Signup and an online pediatrician is just a call or message away!

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How to wean a child from sucking his thumb: a step-by-step instruction from psychologists

First, let's figure out why this happens at all? Why does a child suck his thumb? Indeed, in fact, this is a fairly common occurrence, not only in families with kids, but also where there are preschoolers. At what age is thumb sucking normal?

— At the age of 2-3 months, the child finds his hands and immediately puts them into his mouth for examination, says child psychologist Ksenia Nesyutina . - This is absolutely normal, and if parents, worried that the child will suck their fingers in the future, do not allow sucking and put a pacifier in their mouth, then this harms the development of the child. Indeed, in order to start using the hands, in order to develop motor skills, the hands must first be found and examined by the mouth. nine0003

Well, if the baby has grown up, but the habit has remained, you need to figure it out. There are many reasons for thumb sucking.

- At about 1 year of age, thumb sucking may indicate an unsatisfied sucking reflex. As a rule, at this time, children are actively transitioned from breastfeeding or formula to regular food. Not all children easily adapt to this and sometimes begin to express lack by sucking their fingers, explains Ksenia Nesyutina. “At the age of 2 years, thumb sucking is usually a sign that something is bothering the child. Often these anxieties are associated with separation from the mother: the mother goes to her room for the night and the child, experiencing this, begins to calm himself by sucking his finger. But there may be other more complex anxieties. In the future, this may transform into the fact that the child will bite his nails, pick at wounds on the skin or pull out his hair. nine0003

Thus, we understand: if the baby is just beginning to get acquainted with his body and the world around him, then let him calmly suck his fingers. Nothing will fade. But if time passes, the little person grows up and has been going to the garden for a long time, and the fingers are still “hiding” in the mouth, measures must be taken.

But weaning a child from sucking his thumb is not an easy task.

Photo: globallookpress.com

Find the moment

It turns out that finger-to-mouth is not just a habit. According to our expert, thumb sucking can be psychologically an established compensatory mechanism. nine0003

“In other words, thumb sucking gives the child (compensates) something that he cannot receive emotionally,” says Ksenia Nesyutina. - For example, we are talking about an anxious mother - it is difficult for her to calm the child, give him support and confidence. In order to somehow calm himself, the child does not use “mom's calm”, but sucks his thumb. That is, the child is already 3-4-5 years old, and he is still calming down like a baby of 3-4 months - with the help of sucking.

To wean a child, you need to find the root cause. That is, to understand why the child puts his hands in his mouth, what he replaces in this way and how he can provide this need on an emotional level. nine0003

— It is important to pay attention to when the child puts his fingers in his mouth: for example, before going to bed, when he plays with toys himself, in the kindergarten. Most likely, these are stressful moments for the child. It is important to help the child adapt to this activity so that it does not cause so much anxiety in the baby, the psychologist recommends.

Through the game

It's probably not a secret for you that the game for children is not only an option to pass the time, but also a way to get to know the world around, help in development and sometimes even therapy. nine0003

Play can help a child deal with anxiety.

— If a child is older than 3 years, then from the point of view of psychology, it is possible to wean a child if the very need to suck his thumb goes away, — notes Ksenia Nesyutina. - That is, the child is anxious, and compensates for the anxiety by sucking his thumb. And here parents should be included: you can help to cope with anxieties, fears with the help of games, conversations, lullabies, reading fairy tales. It is much better if the child plays with toys or draws what he is afraid of, what he is worried about than just compensating for this tension by sucking his thumb. nine0003

Prohibit: yes or no

However, you must admit that it is very unpleasant to watch how a grown child slobbers his finger again. The parent is an adult, he understands that this is wrong, but not everyone knows how to respond competently. And what begins? “Remove your finger from your mouth!”, “So that I don’t see this”, “It’s impossible!” and everything like that.

But, firstly, such a technique does not always work. And secondly, it can be fraught with consequences.

“A direct ban on thumb sucking or other drastic measures, such as sprinkling pepper on fingers, lead to even more negative consequences,” emphasizes psychologist Nesyutina. - If earlier the child could not cope with psychological stress and compensated for it by sucking his thumb, now he cannot even do this. And what's going on? The tension goes inside, into the body and can subsequently manifest itself in even more “strange” behavior or even diseases. nine0003

Therefore, you should not solve the problem with a "whip" - it is better to re-read the previous two points again.

No stress - no problems

And there is also a story: everything seems to be fine, the child does not have bad habits, but suddenly - once! - and the child begins to suck his fingers. And the child, by the way, is already four years old!

Don't panic.

- In moments of stress, even a child of 3-4 years of age or even a preschooler may begin to suck his fingers. You can pay attention to this, but, as a rule, as soon as the stress is compensated, the habit disappears by itself, says our expert. nine0003

But stress can be different, and if you understand the reason (for example, the whole family moved to a new place or the grandmother scolded the child), then this can be said, consoled, reassured. And if thumb sucking occurs, it would seem, for no apparent reason, then it will not prevent the parent from “pricking up his ears” and trying to understand, ask the child what is bothering him or who scared him.

Pay attention to… yourself

No matter how blasphemous it may sound, it happens that the reason for the baby's anxiety lies in his… parents. Yes, it’s hard to admit it to yourself, but it happens that it is the mother who creates the stressful situation. nine0003

— Among other things, it is often helpful for a parent to see a psychotherapist himself. This helps to remove the emotional stress from the parent, which anxious mothers tend to broadcast to their children, says Ksenia Nesyutina.

Frequently asked questions and answers

What is the risk of constant thumb sucking?

— If you do not go into physiological problems that may be associated with bite, speech, then at least this is a symptom that says that the child has difficulties in the psycho-emotional plan. These are not necessarily complex unsolvable problems, but it is worth paying attention to and, perhaps, the parent should change the way they care for and communicate with the child, the psychologist recommends. nine0003

When should you seek help from a specialist?

It is necessary to go to a specialist if this issue worries a parent a lot. The fact is that thumb sucking most often indicates that the parent cannot provide the child with a sense of stability and reliability. And if the mother herself is drowning in anxiety, then help from the outside will definitely not hurt here, moreover, the help of a specialist, says Ksenia Nesyutina. - If we are talking about a child, then it is better to start with a pediatrician. He will appoint an examination of the necessary specialists. But, as a rule, it is with this problem that psychologists work. nine0003

How to wean a child from sucking his thumb

The habit of thumb sucking is formed in a child in the prenatal period and reinforces the sucking reflex necessary for breastfeeding. However, from the age of two, thumb sucking gradually loses its significance, and by the age of 4 it completely stops ^{[1, 2]} . If this does not happen naturally, the baby has to be weaned.

Why a child sucks his thumb

Three large nerves located in the mouth are involved in satisfying the sucking reflex: vagus, trigeminal and nasopharyngeal ^[3] . For this reason, the process of sucking gives the child pleasure.

A child may suck his thumb if he feels hunger, lack of warmth and affection, desire to calm down. The baby thus directly signals the mother that he needs more time to satisfy the sucking reflex. In this case, with natural feeding, it must be kept at the breast longer, and with artificial feeding, it is necessary to pick up a nipple, from which it is difficult to quickly suck out the prescribed portion of food. It is also acceptable to use pacifiers if the parents are sure that the baby is full. Weaning from a pacifier should be gradual so as not to create a stressful situation for the child. nine0003

In teething period with discomfort in the gums, children suck, chew and bite everything, including their own fingers as the most accessible and understandable object.

The habit of sucking or chewing in a child may be associated with increased anxiety and stress. Therefore, first of all, parents need to find out the cause of the child's nervous tension and eliminate it. Pavlova, orthodontist of the highest qualification category, member of the Dental Association of Russia, member of the professional society of orthodontists Arkharova O. N. ^[4]

After the age of 4, the child has no objective reasons to suck his thumb, and this habit becomes harmful ^[4]

Why is thumb sucking dangerous in children

Bad habits in early childhood interfere with the normal development of the baby. Thumb sucking is a prime example of this. This is what happens if it drags on ^[5] :

Retarding the development of the adult swallowing pattern due to abnormal lip tone and the habit of holding the tongue between the front teeth. nine0003
Deformation of the teeth and the appearance of gaps between them.
Shaping open bite . The jaws cease to close completely, the child's mouth is constantly ajar.
Violation of posture due to a constant tilt of the head forward.
Mouth breathing leading to deformation of the upper palate, frequent diseases of the upper respiratory tract, cerebral hypoxia.
Habitual sucking movements of the tongue during speech. They lead to incorrect pronunciation of individual sounds, inhibition of speech development.
Increased stress on the posterior teeth due to impaired function of the anterior teeth. Leads to dysfunction of the temporomandibular joints .

By the time the milk teeth begin to be replaced by permanent ones, the child should be able to stop holding his finger in his mouth

What to do if a child sucks his thumb

You should not reproach or tease a child, slap his hands and force them out of his mouth, smear his fingers with mustard or other unpleasant-tasting substances. With such a severe suppression of bad habits, the child feels an increase in internal tension and continues to suck his finger or other objects to calm down, but already secretly. It is also impossible to bribe a child by replacing a finger with a lollipop, because in this way, instead of one bad habit, he will acquire another and will constantly demand sweets. nine0003

4 steps to take:

Create and maintain a welcoming environment. If a child is upset about something, you need to talk to him affectionately, read a book, switch attention. Before going to bed, you can turn on quiet pleasant music.
Do not leave your little one unoccupied. Homemade products, mosaics, puzzles, designers will occupy children's hands and leave no opportunity to put them in their mouths. Show interest in the result of the work and praise it. Reassure your child that he can break this ugly habit, because adults like him do not suck their thumbs. nine0003
See a dentist. By the time thumb sucking can be considered a problem, the child is usually already familiar with the dentist, and he is an authority figure for him. Therefore, the explanations received in the dental office are often the most convincing. Parents ask the doctor to tell them why thumb sucking is harmful, and subsequently remind the child of what they heard. Such support from a specialist demonstrates that the demands of parents are due to more than just a whim. nine0003
Consult a speech pathologist to help prevent mispronunciation of sounds by your child. A speech therapist can prescribe a set of exercises that help the correct development of the maxillofacial muscles, coordination of articulation and breathing.

In cases where thumb-sucking threatens malocclusion, shield therapy is used. This method is based on the use of removable vestibular apparatuses (plates). Often they resemble pacifiers, only the rubber nipple is replaced by an arcuate plastic element, which, like a shield, does not allow the child to put his finger in his mouth. The plates are available in different sizes so that they can be adjusted to the width of the dental arches. nine0003

The goals of shield therapy:

formation of the correct bite;
ensuring uniform development of the oral muscles;
prevention of thumb sucking;
minimizing mouth breathing.

Often a child sucks his thumb in his sleep, and this is difficult to control, so it makes sense to install the devices at night. If the child is used to breathing through the mouth, a small hole is made in the plate for the first time. Then it is gradually reduced and closed completely. This is done using self-hardening plastics. Vestibular plates are used at the age of 3 to 8 years, the effect can be achieved in a period of 4 months to 1 year. With this treatment, the child should be examined by an orthodontist at least once every 3 weeks ^[6] .

If, despite all the measures taken, a child at 5 years old is still persistently sucking his thumb, it is recommended to seek help from a child psychologist.

List of sources

1. Bulgakova M. I., Simanovskaya E. Yu., Nyashin Yu. , 2003, // URL: http://vestnik.pstu.ru/get/_res/fs/file.pdf/2286/%CC.%C8.+%C1%F3%EB%E3%E0%EA%EE %E2%E0%2C+%C5.%DE.+%D1%E8%EC%E0%ED%EE%E2%F1%EA%E0%FF%2C+%DE.%C8.+%CD%FF%F8 %E8%ED%2C+%C2.%CC.+%D2%E2%E5%F0%FC%E5.+%C1%E8%EE%EC%E5%F5%E0%ED%E8%EA%E0+% E2%F1%EA%E0%F0%EC%EB%E8%E2%E0%ED%E8%FF+%E4%E5%F2%E5%E9+%F0%E0%ED%ED%E5%E3%EE+%E2%EE%E7%F0%E0%F1%F2%E0file.pdf (accessed 16.07.2020).

2. Novozhilova T.P. The state of the dental system in children born with intrauterine growth retardation, PSMI, 1992, // URL: http://medical-diss.com/medicina/sostoyanie-zubochelyustno-litsevoy-sistemy-u -detey-rodivshihsya-s-zaderzhkoy-vnutriutrobnogo-razvitiya (date of access: 07/16/2020).

3. Significance of the sucking reflex in the development of a newborn child, your neurologist // URL: http://vashnevrolog.ru/fiziologiya/znachenie-sosatelnogo-refleksa-v-razvitii-novorozhdennogo-rebenka.html (date of access: 21.