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How to restrain a child without hurting them
How To Restrain a Child Who Is Out Of Control? 2 Safer Ways
WARNING: Physical restraint or seclusion should only be used if the child’s behavior poses imminent threat of serious physical harm to themself or to others and if other modes of intervention has been ineffective. However, it should be discontinued as soon as the child calms down and changes their behavior. *Before reading this article please make sure to read our Medical Disclaimer*
The idea of physically restraining someone as young and vulnerable as a child should seem appalling for good reason. It’s the very last resort for when your child’s tantrums escalate to becoming a credible threat, putting themselves and others at risk of harm. That’s precisely why you should learn how to restrain them properly and mitigate as many potential risks as possible.
Restraint isn’t inherently bad, and physical restraint is indeed warranted in some urgent situations. When physically restraining a child that’s out of control, your priority is to limit their means of receiving/inflicting bodily harm until they eventually calm down.
Only use physical restraint when the child poses a threat, and don’t endanger their well-being while restraining them. This should never be used as a tool for discipline or compliance. Lastly, after the situation passes, focus on discerning what triggered this response, along with the best way to prevent these cases from reoccurring.
We sincerely hope that you’d never have to restrain a child who’s out of control, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Restraining anyone, much less a child, can’t be done in a safe way: only in safer ways. We’ll share every trick and tool at our disposal to make sure your child’s episode can be managed with the least risk possible – on everyone’s part!
Clarifications on Restraint
A note: restraint isn’t just pinning your child down with all your might, hoping they’ll stop making a scene. Restraint is simply stopping your child from exacerbating a situation that could cause harm, using as little force as possible. It’s a physical action, but it isn’t inherently violent.
Do you grab your child when you see them try to run around recklessly in a parking lot? That’s restraint too. You apply restraint on a pretty regular basis to safeguard your child’s well-being. There’s no denying that this type of action is needed in some cases.
That said, the type of physical exertion needed to fully restrain a child lashing out carries notable dangers. There isn’t a 100% guaranteed way to contain their episode safely and consistently – it’s the last resort for a reason. They could get hurt even if you follow the guidelines to the letter.
How this turns out would also depend on the intensity of their tantrum, your child’s immediate environment, and the type of preventative/restraint measures taken.
WARNING: Physical restraint or seclusion should only be used if the child’s behavior poses imminent threat of serious physical harm to themself or to others and if other modes of intervention has been ineffective. However, it should be discontinued as soon as the child calms down and changes their behavior.
Keep Your Emotions In Check
Physically restraining a child involves firmly exerting only the bare minimum force needed to prevent them from endangering themselves. You need to have a calm, reassuring presence while doing so, which is much easier said than done.
Keeping one’s emotions in check during such an ordeal is difficult, and you might be overcome with anxiety or some other compromising emotion. These greatly inhibit your ability to respond, heightening the risk carried by these already-dangerous situations.
For some people, these feelings may not abate in time to allow a proper response to handling a child physically lashing out. If that’s the case, it would be better for one to extricate themselves from the scene rather than act in a manner they aren’t capable of sustaining.
There are two key emotions to be wary of when handling an out-of-control child: fear and anger.
Fear could leave you unable to respond decisively, putting both you and your child in harm’s way. Most professionals trained to physically restrain children operate in pairs or groups – this way, they ensure that:
a) the decision of physical restraint was justified.
b) the application of restraint was appropriate.
c) the situation is handled objectively.
If you’re administering physical restraint on your own, the last thing you want to be is emotionally compromised.
If you can’t guarantee everyone’s safety (you, your child, and bystanders, if any) to a reasonable extent, it would be a better course of action to leave and let the tantrum die down. That said, this may not be an option in certain cases (i.e. child actively seeking to harm you or themselves, fragile or dangerous environment near your child).
Mentally prepare yourself for this eventuality to avoid being rendered ineffectual. If you find yourself in just this situation, focus on getting your bearings. Calm yourself down with deep breathing exercises, then act according to your best judgment.
Alternatively, you might meet your child’s display with indignance or even rage. Keep your fury in check, as you run a serious risk of utilizing excessive force and subsequently harming your child. Physical restraint is a tool only used in emergencies, and should not be done with even the slightest hint of anger on your mind.
An investigation into Illinois public schools that permitted physical restraint drew jarring results. Thousands of cases had school children forcibly restrained for disobedience, with this last-ditch technique to protect everyone’s safety being utilized inappropriately as a disciplinary tool. Many of these children suffered from abrasions, bruising, and psychological trauma due to heavy-handed misapplication of physical restraint by frustrated authority figures.
Physical restraint is not a disciplinary tool, and should never be used to force compliance. Don’t let frustration or anger seep into your actions – keep the child’s safety at the forefront of your thoughts. Physical restraint is a tool meant to MINIMIZE harm, not cause it.
Standing Restraints (Wrist)
This restraint is a technique that aims to pacify someone standing up, and doing so requires the following steps:
Approach the child in question (preferably from behind or from their side)
Grab onto the child’s wrists (your right hand holding onto their left wrist, and your left hand holding onto their right wrist)
Cross the child’s arms over their chest (so that both their hands are now near the opposite shoulder)
Pull backward, so that the child is leaning back onto you
Release child immediately after they settle down
Seated Restraints (Arms)
This restraint technique is much easier to manage, though it works best with another set of hands helping out. The proper procedure to follow is down below:
Using both hands, grab hold of one of the child’s arms
(After partner grabs hold of the other arm) guide subject to sit on the chair
Release child immediately once they settle down
Life-Threatening Actions To Avoid
Physically restraining a child is very dangerous. Don’t ever forget that you’re pitting an adult’s strength and weight against a child’s fragile, developing body. It’s easy to make devastating mistakes in the heat of the moment, and these could seriously harm or even cripple your child.
Don’t put pressure on joints
Pressure on joints can cause a significant amount of pain, which is the last thing you want when physically restraining someone. It can take upwards of thirty minutes for someone being restrained to stop lashing out, and excess pain will needlessly extend the duration of this grueling process.
Misplaced pressure could also lead to pinched nerves, which when left untreated lead to long-term nerve damage. It could easily lead to cases of bad bruising, sprains, or even fractures. In certain cases, you may even permanently compromise your child’s range of motion.
In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to tell if you’re applying more pressure than you need to restrain them. Be extra mindful of this concern and keep clear of their joints.
Don’t touch their neck
The degree of uncontrolled movement is very high in these situations, making any contact with the neck dangerous. The neck is a tight network that houses nerve bundles, muscles, and bones working in very close proximity to one another. It’s very vulnerable to any sort of compression damage, creating a high risk of long-term harm.
Keep your hands away from their neck. There’s no reason to apply pressure there – focus on limbs and other extremities lashing out. It’s also extremely easy to accidentally scratch someone’s neck while restraining them, leading to further agitation and potential for infection.
Don’t obstruct their airway
The moment the person being subdued shows ANY signs of breathing difficulty, you need to release them promptly. There are no exceptions here, and ignoring this sign could very well cause permanent brain damage or even kill the subject being restrained.
They might be suffering from something known as compression asphyxia. This is a form of suffocation caused by significant pressure or weight being forced onto a person’s upper body. Physical restraint techniques focus on inhibiting the person’s means to lash out (i.e. arms, legs, waist) rather than forcing them to remain in one place.
We repeat: there is no reason to leverage your weight onto the child’s upper body. This was especially horrendous with prone restraint techniques, which had individuals pinned face-up on the ground. The technique was barred from use against restraining children for good reason, as it carried needless risk and no real safety advantage over standing and seated restraints.
Another threat you may encounter is positional asphyxia, which is a form of suffocation that comes from the environment obstructing one’s airways. This is common with babies falling asleep with their faces covered, but can also occur when one is pushed to the ground.
Supine restraints had subjects pinned down face-first onto the ground and carried a significant risk of positional asphyxia. Like prone restraints, this technique was eventually deemed inappropriate and needlessly cruel for usage against children lashing out.
WARNING: Physical restraint or seclusion should only be used if the child’s behavior poses imminent threat of serious physical harm to themself or to others and if other modes of intervention has been ineffective. However, it should be discontinued as soon as the child calms down and changes their behavior.
Don’t Make Physical Restraint a Frequent Occurrence
Having to be forcibly restrained from an outburst can be a traumatizing experience, and your child’s mind will race to find ways to reconcile what happened with what they did. The last thing you want them to do is normalize this experience.
Children won’t implicitly understand that physically restraining them was done for their safety. They might see it as something you’d do when they act out, so be quick to clarify the mistaken assumption. They shouldn’t see it as something they deserve for bad behavior.
After they cool down, make sure you set time aside for a proper conversation. Talk about what transpired, why physical restraint was necessary, and how the two of you can avoid it moving forward. Your child must understand the incident was not their fault, and that the measures taken aren’t intended to be a disciplinary method.
More cases of physical restraint also mean more chances for your child to get hurt. They’ll eventually learn to accept it, and may even expect this behavior in their daily lives. They might even begin physically restraining other children when they start to act up! You must convey to them that this isn’t something one does, except for the most urgent safety situations.
Look Into What Led To This Event (Short and Long Term!)
Prevention is key to minimizing the physical and emotional toll of this ordeal for everyone involved. Your child’s outburst likely had some warning signs crop up, so be sure to reflect on anything you might have missed. Pay close attention to how things escalated, why they escalated, and what might be done to keep things under control.
We’ve included a few examples for you to look out for down below.
Were there any types of medication (introduction or removal) involved?
Did your child experience any signs of a panic attack (i.e. difficulty breathing, dizziness, chills) before or during the incident?
Was there any type of environmental (i.e. loud noises) or emotional (i.e. anger directed at them) stimuli involved that might have exacerbated the situation?
Have they shown signs of emotional duress before this episode? When did the first few signs appear? What were the last signs before the incident?
Try to think about what else could have triggered their troubling response, and be sure to ask your child plenty of questions to fill in any knowledge gaps (once they’ve calmed down).
Physically restraining a child is a last-resort effort to prevent them from causing or experiencing harm, and should never be done lightly. Your priority while restraining them should be minimizing the risk of bodily harm, not restricting their movement.
Clarify that this was done for their own good, not as a disciplinary method. Be sure to look into what caused their episode to begin with, and look for measures you can take to mitigate them.
How To Restrain A Child Who Is Out Of Control? Simple 6 Step Plan
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Parents’ who need help with learning How To Restrain A Child Who Is Out Of Control think tend to feel as if this safety barrier has been breached.
This is very difficult to handle as you struggle to cope with your child’s behaviour.
A child is rarely able to meet up to most parents expectations.
This is not uncommon and is usually nothing to be concerned about.
But what is important is keeping your children safe within a nurturing and reliable environment.
Problems & Root Causes
As parents we want our children to act in the most pleasant and uplifting manner at all times.
We strive to ensure that they are getting all the necessary development, emotional, behavioural, mental and environmental, to keep them on the straight and narrow and increase their chances of securing happiness in the future.
When your child becomes disruptive it is usually a tell-tell sign that something somewhere has broken down and a further investigation needs to take place.
Children express themselves in direct and indirect ways so the disruptive behaviour can be attributed to both their cognitive and developmental states and the state of the environment they are in.
Many families struggle with problem children and some have had no other alternative but to send their children away to more strict family members (Grandparents), to other family or friends (in a different city) or in some extreme cases to youth services.
It is always in your best interest to find out the route cause of the disruption is and then take appropriate steps to begin to eradicate it step by step.
Having a family member that is constantly abusive or disruptive who displays mostly negative behaviour can cause extreme family anxiety and tension so it is in everyone’s best interest to keep the peace.
Learning how to control aggressive child behavior is vital.
Here are some important factors to take into consideration.
1. Developmental stages
Different children “act out” at different stages.
Asses which developmental stage your child is at and ask yourself if it’s indeed normal behaviour for their age group.
For example, Toddlers around 3 years old tend to have violent outburst and temper tantrums.
This is frequently caused by the increased cognitive and mental capabilities in language and learning but the inability to share, connect or express these new concepts and ideas to their parents.
This creates tension and frustration which successively leads to a child acting out and being out of control.
2. Learning Difficulties
It’s not uncommon for disruptive children that once suffered from extreme anger issues to be later on diagnosed with having ADHD.
Various learning and attention issues can affect self-control and your child is most venerable when they are fearful.
Fear is a logical response when you don’t completely understand why you are always feeling a certain way.
3. Creating A Safe Environment To Talk
It’s often overlooked but creating a safe environment is an important part of investigating why things have got so bad.
Learning How To Restrain A Child Who Is Out Of Control is about setting the correct environment to discuss the issues at hand.
Try to set some time aside that is outside of your normal surroundings and in a public place.
Being at home and discussing behaviour problems with your child can foster bad memories.
Instead, go to a safe neutral place like a coffee shop or shopping centre.
Engage in broad conversation and try to ask questions that will lead your child to open up about their anxiety and distress.
Most disruptive behaviours stem from a specific incident or a set of incidents around a particular event.
Narrow down what you think it might be but don’t press too hard.
Your job is to stay informative and friendly.
Let your child do most of the talking and just listen. Once you are done write down some notes and see if you can piece together where the aggression has started.
Once you have this starting point you’ll be in a better mindset to understand the severity of the problem and what solutions you have available to you.
4. Establish More Rules
Children crave routine and often times a house without rules can sever boundaries faster.
Children feel safe when they are sure where they stand and what they clearly can and can’t do.
Create more structure and more routine by hanging calenders and routine maps in places your children can view.
Now you have it in writing refer to it more often and use it as an authoritative document.
The written word can sometimes be more powerful than the spoken word. Use this to your advantage.
Provide more consequences for misbehaviour. Time outs work perfectly for children aged 2 – 8.
You can also take away privileges (screen time, toys, dessert) and can even restrict social interaction.
For example “You won’t be going to cassie birthday this Saturday if this cheekiness continues”
Stick by your word and be disciplined. Children can sense weakness a mile away.
If you say “No” 3 times and then on your fourth time say “Yes” they’ll just remember that strategy and use it against you next time
6. Positive Reinforcement
Always provide positive reinforcement for good behaviour.
Try to have fewer concerns for your punishment for out of control child.
Children crave attention and will do anything to get it from you.
This can oftentimes be the reason they are “acting out” or “playing up” in the first place, just to get a response.
Instead, try and reinforce the positive and proactive behaviour your child shows and reward it with attention and appreciation.
When your child is showing signs of being out of control patience is always key.
Younger children are unable to correctly display emotions so will “act out” as a form of expression.
Older children who have the ability to express their emotions tend to prefer to keep them to themselves which isn’t a constructive way to vent negative emotions.
To ensure you keep the peace try to engage with your children on their terms and on their grounds.
By doing this you increase the likelihood that they will accept your invitation to talk or vent which is exactly what they need to do.
Storing up negative emotions for a long period is toxic and will eventually lead to behavioural issues as they get older.
Stay calm and be patient.
Let your child come to you when they are ready to vent and don’t be judgemental. Show compassion and understanding.
This is the best way to show you support them and are there to help them with whatever issue they are stuck on.
Learning How To Restrain A Child Who Is Out Of Control takes time and patience.
Once you have the correct discipline technique most things will fall into place with time.
Mo Mulla is a work from home dad who enjoys reading and listening to music, He loves being a dad and husband to a growing family. He also loves writing about his passions and hopes to change the world, 1 blog post at a time!
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from what age is it possible, parental responsibility, fines and criminal article, memo
specialist of the guardianship and guardianship authority
In 2020, 1339 children fell out of windows in Russia, 145 of them died.
Danger lies in wait for children everywhere - in ponds, transport, on the playground, at home. Tragedy can happen due to a combination of circumstances, but there are times when adults are to blame, who did not carefully look after children. For example, in January 2022, a four-year-old boy died in a fire due to the fault of a drunk mother, and in February, a six-year-old girl.
Parents, adoptive parents and guardians of minors are responsible for their life and health. And if a child gets hurt, they will be held accountable. How and for what legal representatives of minors can be punished, I will tell further.
What you will learn
What are the responsibilities for parents
What are the conditions considered dangerous for a child
When can children be left unattended
How to raise children and not go broke
The best materials on how to cope with parenthood and get the most out of the state - every Tuesday in your mail. Free of charge
Responsibilities for parents
Administrative. By law, parents have many responsibilities towards their children. For example, they must support them, educate, educate and protect their rights and interests.
If parents do not fulfill their duties, they may be held administratively liable. Then they face a warning or a fine - 100-500 R.
Art. 63, 64 SK RF
Parents can be fined in different situations. For example, if they kicked the child out of the house, do not buy the necessary things or products for him, do not send him to school, or do not follow how he attends it and how he studies. I will give real examples from my own and judicial practice later in the article.
Parents can also be punished if their child under 16 uses alcohol or drugs. Fine - 1500-2000 R.
In addition to federal administrative responsibility, there is also regional - in the laws of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation there may be additional offenses and punishments for parents. For example, in St. Petersburg, children under 14 years of age cannot walk large dogs without adults - with a height of 40 cm at the withers. For this, parents can be fined 1000-5000 RUR.
Part 2 8_1 of the Law of St. Petersburg on administrative offenses
Cases of administrative offenses of parents are considered by the Commission on Juvenile Affairs (KDN) - this is the main body in the system of prevention of neglect and juvenile delinquency. We talked in detail about what CDNs are and how they work in an article about dysfunctional families.
Criminal. Parents who not only do not fulfill their duties, but also treat children cruelly, commit a crime. Here is what the court can impose:
fine - up to 100,000 R or in the amount of the convicted person's annual salary;
compulsory work - up to 440 hours;
correctional labor - up to two years;
forced labor - up to three years;
imprisonment - up to three years.
The Family Code states that maltreatment of minors includes physical or mental violence against them and an attack on their sexual integrity. And the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child additionally lists other situations from which children need to be protected:
all forms of physical and psychological abuse;
insults and abuse;
neglect and neglect;
abuse and exploitation, including sexual abuse.
ref. 5 st. 69 SK RF
In practice, child abuse can be considered situations when parents deprive him of food, lock him up somewhere for a long time, systematically humiliate and insult him, mock him or beat him.
Parents who leave their children in danger can also be held criminally liable: that is, they do not help the child in a situation that threatens his life or health. In this case, the threat must be real, not abstract, and the child must not be able to cope with it himself. For example, if he fell and was badly injured, left alone in a deep place in the river or in the middle of a street with busy traffic.
Art. 125 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation
Why the child got into this situation does not matter. The main thing is that the parent did nothing to help him, although he could. For example, he saw that the child swam too far, but did not pay attention to this and continued to sit on the shore.
At the same time, the parent is not required to thoughtlessly sacrifice his life to save the child. He must choose a method that will not harm anyone. For example, if a child is drowning and his mother cannot swim, she will not be punished for not jumping into the water to save him. But she must help him from the shore - call the rescue service, call passers-by.
Punishment for leaving a child in danger can be:
a fine of up to 80,000 R or in the amount of the convict's six-month salary;
compulsory work - up to 360 hours;
correctional or forced labor - up to a year;
arrest - up to three months;
imprisonment - up to a year.
How to teach a child to get to school safely
For one of the parents, a mother, there is a special article in the criminal code: the murder of a newborn child by a mother. It is used if the child died due to the fault of the mother within a month after birth. Moreover, this can happen not only because of the actions of the mother, but also because of her inaction. For example, if she leaves a newborn alone on a cold balcony for a long time or simply does not feed him.
In my practice, there was a case when a mother was sentenced to two years in prison for strangling a three-day-old baby with a robe belt. The girl was 18 years old, after giving birth she was left alone with the child and could not cope with the fact that he screamed a lot. In court, she said that it was the only way for her to go out for a smoke, and now she is free.
Civil liability is borne by parents when they need to compensate for property damage caused by a child. Under the law, until the age of 14, the legal representatives are responsible for the child. This means that if a child throws a stone at the window of someone else's apartment, then his parents will pay for the repairs.
Art. 1073 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation
The same responsibility is borne by organizations that have to look after children - kindergartens, schools, hospitals. And nannies who look after children under agreements with their parents.
I will give two examples from judicial practice. In the first case, three guys launched a quadrocopter, which at some point landed on the roof of a building and never took off again. The children tried to hit the quadcopter with stones and accidentally hit a car parked nearby. The owner of the car estimated the damage at 153,000 R. The parents of the children refused to pay, but they had to do it by court order. In addition, they paid an additional 20,000 R for state duty, postage, damage assessment and legal services.
In the second case, while shooting from an air pistol, a boy hit a girl in the eye with a metal bullet. Surgeons had to remove it, and after the operation, scars remained near the eye. As a result, the Moscow City Court ordered the boy's parents to reimburse the girl's parents for the money they spent on her treatment, as well as moral damages.
But both parents and organizations that temporarily looked after children can avoid liability if they prove that the harm was not their fault. It is more difficult for parents to prove this: they are responsible for the upbringing and behavior of children, therefore, if a child has done something, they are to blame by default. To prove innocence, you will have to confirm that, for objective reasons, the parent did not raise the child. For example, if the second parent does not live with the child and participates in his life only financially.
Amazing story 07/12/19
One schoolboy harmed another. Who will pay: parents or school?
Organizations, on the other hand, are usually only to blame if they did not look after the child closely enough when he harmed someone. And they are not responsible for his upbringing.
Children between the ages of 14 and 18 are responsible for the harm they cause. But if they do not have money or property for this, then the debt will be collected from the parents.
Art. 1074 Civil Code of the Russian Federation
In this article, I will call the deprivation and restriction of parental rights family law responsibility. So only the court can punish the parents. But lawsuits about this are usually filed by guardianship authorities. And, as a rule, this happens with those families that are already registered with the KDN.
Another variant of family law liability is when a child is immediately taken away from the parents due to the fact that something threatens his life. This happens according to the act of the guardianship authority, which, within 7 days after that, must go to court with a claim to deprive the parents of their rights.
There is no special rule that parents cannot leave their child alone one or more times. You will have to answer only if they deliberately left the child in danger, something happened to him or could happen to him, or he did something himself.
What conditions are considered dangerous for a child
There are many dangers in apartment for a child. For example, household appliances and electrical cables, sockets, sharp corners, doors and windows, household chemicals and medicines. And parents are obliged to ensure that the child does not suffer from all this.
But if a child just hits a corner and gets a bruise, parents won't go to jail for it: anything can happen, the main thing is that they are there and help in time. But if a child was seriously injured due to the fact that they did not fulfill their duties - for example, slipped in the bathroom and broke their arm when the parents were drinking with friends, they can be brought to administrative or criminal liability. And, in my experience, the rare cases where a child falls in the bathroom end without consequences for the parents. Although each situation is individual, and each authorized body will be studied separately.
How to make your apartment safe for children
Children also often fall out of windows. For example, according to the statistics of the Tver Children's Regional Hospital, from 2020 to 2022, 43 children fell out of windows in the region. And in the Moscow Region, in just 6 months of 2022, more than 50 children fell out of windows. Often accidents happen because of unreliable mosquito nets on windows - they can't even withstand cats, let alone children. And this usually happens when the adult has fallen asleep or is distracted - even for a short time.
Parents may also be held administratively or criminally liable for such an oversight. The more severely the child is hurt, the harsher the punishment will be.
In my practice, there were also such cases. For example, in the Belgorod Region, a two-year-old girl once fell out of a window - she climbed onto the windowsill, the window was open, and the mosquito net could not stand it. It was lucky that the apartment was on the first floor, and the girl survived. But nevertheless, she suffered quite badly - she received a concussion and a fracture of the temporal bone.
As a result of this incident, the girl's mother was brought to administrative responsibility under Art. 5.35 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. This is a punishment for her carelessness and shortsightedness.
Children are often injured or killed in fires. For example, according to the statistics of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, in January-March 2022, 90 children died in fires, and 360-390 children die every year.
Fires can be caused by children playing with matches or lighters that adults have left in an accessible area. Or because the parents themselves created a fire hazard situation - for example, they dried clothes over a gas stove, did not fix the wiring in time, or used home-made household appliances. It is especially dangerous when children are left alone in locked rooms: in the event of a fire, they will not be able to go outside.
9 household appliances that could cause an entire apartment to burn down
For example, at the beginning of 2022 in the Volgograd region, two children — eight and two years old — died in a house fire. The house caught fire because one of the guys found her lighter in the kitchen where her mother was smoking, started playing and accidentally set fire to the curtain. The fire quickly spread. Mother was not at home at that time.
In such a situation, parents may be held criminally liable for causing death by negligence - under Part 1 of Art. 109of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, if one child died, and under part 3 of the same article - if two or more.
There are times when children's pranks turn into hooliganism. For example, for the sake of entertainment, the guys launch burning airplanes from the roofs of houses and balconies, set fire to mailboxes, door trims of apartments, throw lit smoke bombs into the entrances. For such behavior, children from the age of 16 are punished for intentional damage to property, and their parents - for dereliction of duty.
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In addition, parents can be held liable even if they simply left their children at home alone for a long time and they were not harmed, but could be. Such behavior of adults is classified as a threat to the life and health of children.
Here is an example from my practice. In 2007, in the Belgorod region, parents left three children - 7 years old, 4 years old and 4 months old - alone for three days. Neighbors called the guardianship authorities when they saw that the older girl was collecting dry branches in the yard to kindle the stove and warm the younger ones.
When we arrived, we found out that the adults had gone to a relative's funeral in a neighboring farm. They left only milk and bread for the children. And all the children survived only because their older sister took care of them.
Having found out everything, we immediately drew up an act and a resolution on the selection of children. We also placed the children in a juvenile rehabilitation center and deprived their parents of their rights within seven days.
The court satisfied our claim because the parents deliberately left the children in a situation that threatened their life and health. Children, due to their age, could not take care of themselves and miraculously did not suffer.
Since six months later, the parents of these children had not regained their rights, they were placed in a foster family.
And parents will also be responsible if the child lives in potentially dangerous conditions. Even if he has not suffered yet, but due to the conditions in the apartment or house, he may suffer in the future. In this case, family law liability measures will apply.
Here is an example from my practice. The school turned to us for guardianship - the class teacher said that the brother and sister had not been going to classes for a week, and their parents had not been in touch. Together with the police and the KDN, we went to their house and saw that the children were living in a house without heating, running water or sewerage - due to debts, gas and electricity were turned off for them, and water was only in the yard in the well.
The children's parents drank and did not cope with their duties - they fed them only bread and biscuits, did not wash them, did not wash their clothes. Under such conditions, the boy developed enuresis.
We offered the mother to temporarily place her children in a social rehabilitation center. In the meantime, they are there to solve everyday problems and improve the situation at home. But she refused. Therefore, we prepared an act on the selection of children and forcibly took them away.
The next day we learned that something terrible had happened in the house — the children's grandmother had died from carbon monoxide. The mother was saved. It all happened because they kindled the stove with wood and, in order to keep the heat in the house, closed the chimney damper.
We subsequently restricted the mother's parental rights. But even after that, she did not change her lifestyle. Therefore, in the end, we deprived her of parental rights.
Rights of children under 18
In the car. By law, it is forbidden to leave a child under 7 years old alone in a vehicle during a stop and parking. But adults sometimes forget that any car, even with the engine off, is a source of increased danger. And a child can fall into a deadly trap at any moment.
For example, on a hot day in Izhevsk in 2015, a young couple decided not to wake their two-month-old baby and left him in an air-conditioned car with the windows slightly open while they went to the store. When the parents returned half an hour later, the child was no longer breathing. As a result, the police opened a case under Part 1 of Art. 109 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - causing death by negligence.
In 2013, in Krasnoyarsk, three eyewitnesses reported to the police in turn that a one-year-old child had been sitting in a closed car in 30-degree heat for more than an hour. The arriving squad broke the side window of the car and pulled the already suffocating child out of the car. A case was opened against the mother under Art. 125 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - leaving in danger.
In 2015, in St. Petersburg, a mother left two children in her car in the summer — a four-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl. She didn’t just run into the store, but left for three hours. The children were saved by passers-by - they opened the salon, after which they called an ambulance and the police. The result for the mother is a criminal case under Art. 125 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for leaving in danger.
But a child in a car can suffer from more than just the heat. In 2013, in the Ulyanovsk region, parents left their daughter in the car. The window was open, the girl stuck her head out and accidentally pressed the power window button. The power was turned on in the car, so the window regulator worked and strangled the girl. The news does not indicate what responsibility the parents were brought to, but probably under Part 1 of Art. 109Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for causing death by negligence.
clause 12.8 of the SDA
For violation of the rules for stopping and parking a parent who was driving, or, for example, a school bus driver, may be held administratively liable under Part 1 or 5 of Art. 12.19 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. A fine in Moscow and St. Petersburg is 2500 R, in other regions - 500 R. And if something happened to a child in a parked car - he was injured or died, the perpetrator will be prosecuted under article 125 or 109UK RF.
How to choose a child car seat
If the car was moving, got into an accident due to the fault of the parent and the child was injured, liability will depend on the circumstances. For example, if a child has suffered serious harm, this is Part 1 of Art. 264 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation with a maximum penalty of up to two years in prison.
You will also have to pay a fine under Part 3 of Art. 12.23 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation - 3000 R if you transport a child under 12 years old in a car without a car seat. According to the law, a child under 7 years old can only be transported in a car seat, from 7 to 11 years old - in a car seat in the front seat, and regular seat belts can be used in the back seat, and from 12 years old only regular seat belts can be used.
In the yard and on the playground , a child can also be injured. And whether parents will be punished for this depends on the circumstances of the incident.
How to keep a child safe on a bicycle, roller skates and a scooter
For example, if a child was walking with his mother, accidentally fell and received a bruise, then no one will be punished for this. But if he was engaged in physical education on a public sports ground and suffered because the equipment was broken, the municipality will have to answer, because he is obliged to maintain the site in good condition.
Here is an example from my practice. In the winter of 2017, a 14-year-old teenager died on a hockey rink in the Belgorod region. The boy wanted to pull himself up on the crossbar of the hockey metal goal, but they were not fixed, and the whole structure fell on him and crushed him. Later, at the request of the mother, the court sought compensation for moral damages from the municipality, because it was he who was responsible for this site.
Children can be on Street during the day - parents will not be punished simply for sending their child alone to the store. And even if something happens to him along the way, the person responsible for this, and not mom and dad, will be responsible. But their duty is to teach the child how to get home safely.
But if a child is alone on the street at night, then his parents can be held administratively liable - which one depends on the region.
For example, in Moscow there is a law according to which children under 16 cannot be on the street without adults from 23:00 to 06:00. For this violation, parents can be fined 100-500 rubles.
Part 3 Art. 3.12 of the Moscow Code of Administrative Offenses
If a police officer sees a minor without adults at night, he will act according to the circumstances. For example, if he sees a group of children in the central square of the city, which is looking at the fireworks, then most likely he will not do anything: the children are clearly not in danger.
But if a child without adults is seen in an industrial zone or a park far from residential buildings, police officers are obliged to find out if he is in any danger. To do this, they will approach the child, identify him, find out information about his parents - full name, contacts, place of residence, occupation - and try to contact them. If it is not possible to find adults responsible for the child, he can be sent to a specialized institution - a temporary detention center for minors, which is located under the Department of Internal Affairs. But this is done only to ensure the safety of the child.
How the children and I participated in safety training
If adults are found, they will be able to pick up the child. But they can draw up and send a report on an administrative offense to the CDN - if it is established that it is the parents who are to blame. After that, the employees of the KDN will summon the parents to a meeting of the commission and make a decision to bring them to administrative responsibility.
If an accident happened to a child at night or he committed a crime, then the responsibility for parents will be different. I will give two examples from my practice.
In the first case, a child and his friends climbed onto a power line support at night. He was electrocuted and lost his ear and 80% of his vision. After that, he had to undergo several plastic surgeries and eye surgery. And his grandmother - she was the only trustee - was brought to administrative responsibility under Part 1 of Art. 5.35 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation.
In the second example, a teenager stole a car at night to ride with friends and had an accident - crashed into a tree. As a result, one passenger died. The driver was then already 16 years old, that is, he had reached the age of criminal responsibility. Therefore, he was attracted under Part 1 of Art. 166 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - taking possession of someone else's car without the purpose of theft and part 3 of Art. 264 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - a violation of traffic rules that negligently caused the death of a person. And his parents were brought to administrative responsibility under Part 1 of Art. 5.35 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation, they were obliged to pay for the repair of a broken car and compensate for the costs of a funeral. According to the law, at the age of 16, the child himself bears civil liability, but he did not have money for this, so the parents answered.
You cannot leave your child unattended near the pond . This is not regulated by law, but adults should be aware that any body of water is a place of increased danger, and children regularly die while relaxing on the water and near water bodies. Even in the bathroom, a small child should not be left alone for a second: he can slip and get injured or even drown.
Personal experience: how to gather a child at sea
Tragedies occur mainly due to the negligence and carelessness of adults, due to the fact that children cannot or do not swim well, swim in unidentified and unequipped places do not comply with water safety rules.
For example, in the Belgorod region in 2021, 175 administrative materials were drawn up for the improper performance by parents of their duties when their children were near the water.
In my practice, there was also such a case. In 2022, in the Belgorod region, a seven-year-old boy without adult supervision ended up with friends on a suspension bridge without handrails. One of the guys, according to eyewitnesses, pushed the boy off the bridge, he fell and drowned. He had no parents - only a guardian, who after this incident was removed from duties. They also punished a representative of the administration who was responsible for the condition of the bridge.
“Parents are not responsible for everything”
retired police major
I often come across the opinion that parents are responsible for literally everything that happens to a child. In fact, this is not so. Administrative and criminal liability can be brought only if the person is to blame for what happened. This also applies to parents - if they are not guilty of what happened to the child, then they cannot be punished and for nothing.
For example, a child slipped, fell and broke his leg. Mom is interrogated, and she gives explanations - she is guilty, she overlooked, she herself did not follow the child. She is brought to administrative responsibility. And then it turns out that it was the neighbors who spilled oil in the entrance, on which the child slipped. Mom couldn't foresee and prevent it. But she was already punished, based on her explanation.
That is why each situation needs to be dealt with individually. And the decision to hold liable should be made depending on the specific circumstances.
For example, a police officer sees a child without adults at night. This does not mean that parents will be held administratively liable. First you need to understand the situation.
Usually, when meeting a child, the policeman will find out why he is alone on the street at such a time. If a child says that he is just going home, where his parents are waiting for him, he, of course, will not be taken to a temporary detention center for minors. And there is no violation of the law in this case. If possible, the policeman will take the child home and this will all end - there is no threat to the life and health of the child, the parents are waiting and worrying at home, the law has not been violated.
If the child answers that he is just walking, the policeman is likely to look at his watch. You can still take a walk at 21:00 - anything can happen. But if the clock is 03:00, and the events take place far from residential buildings, he will clarify who let him go for a walk at night and how he ended up in such a place.
If a child, for example, starts to run away, the employee may assume that he became either a participant in the crime or its victim. And in order to find out everything, they can take him to the police and interrogate him in more detail. But this does not mean that parents will have to answer. For example, if a child is kidnapped, then the kidnappers will be held accountable, not the parents.
Another possible scenario is that the child will say that his parents kicked him out of the house and, for example, have been drinking for several days. A different algorithm will work here, because the parents put the child in danger. And that means he needs to be taken to a safe place - to the police department. And then information about this will be transferred to the CDN, and parents, most likely, will be fined and registered.
This means that simply letting a child go for a walk in the center of a metropolis in the evening is not yet a violation. But to send him barefoot for alcohol in winter is a violation. Because in this case, the child is in danger.
Let me give you a real example — a child went for a walk during the day. And as a result of this, his mother was deprived of parental rights. But this happened because he went for a walk without clothes and shoes at -40 °C. So the time of the walk does not always matter - the circumstances are more important.
Kindergarten or school. When a parent transfers a child to an educational organization - a kindergarten, school or circle, he also transfers responsibility for his safety. This means that from the moment a child finds himself in his group or class, an educator or teacher is responsible for his life, health and development.
part 6, 7 28, paragraph 8, part 1, art. 41 of the Law "On Education"
I will give an example from judicial practice. In 2019, during a morning walk in a kindergarten, a children's iron sports equipment fell on a child - a rainbow that was not fixed. Because of this, the boy received a fracture of the second metacarpal bone of the right hand.
The father of the child went to court to receive compensation for moral damage. He claimed that the educational organization did not ensure the safety of the child and did not provide him with the necessary medical care.
The court sided with the parent and granted the claim. He also pointed out that because of the incident, a teacher and a worker for the integrated maintenance of the kindergarten building had already been brought to disciplinary responsibility.
When can children be left unattended
At what age can a child be left alone at home according to the law. There are no restrictions and age limits for such situations in the legislation. In practice, this is more of a moral question than a legal one.
But in any case, parents are obliged to prepare the child for the fact that he will be left alone - to tell how to behave if a stranger rings at the door, how to heat up food or how much cartoons can be watched on TV.
What to teach a child so that he does not become a victim of a criminal
They are also obliged to prepare an apartment for the fact that a child will be left unattended in it. For example, keep sharp objects away, securely close windows, turn off the gas, hide matches and lighters.
If something happens to the child while the parents are not at home, they can be brought to administrative or criminal liability, which I described above. But only if their guilt is established.
For example, if a child in the absence of his parents found his father's gun and shot himself, the parents are to blame: they left a dangerous thing in the access. And if a downstairs neighbor set fire to his own apartment, and other people's children suffered from this, their parents are not guilty and they will not be punished.
“It is better not to leave children at home alone”
mother of two
I have two children, 8 and 6 years old. It so happened that they grow up in a family where everyone works: both parents and grandparents. During working hours at home with children, I am alone - I work remotely.
When my son was 5 years old and my daughter 3, I had to leave them at home alone: they were both sick, did not go to kindergarten, and I urgently needed to go to the pharmacy for a children's antipyretic, because the one who was at home had expired validity. I had no one to ask to marry me or be with the children, so I reminded the children not to touch the stove and go up to the windows, turned on the cartoons and left for 20 minutes.
Of course, I was terribly worried: there are many stories on the Internet when children were left alone for literally a couple of minutes, and a fire started, and so on. But everything went well: I found the children in the same place where I left them, and in perfect order.
And although several years have passed since that day, I still try not to leave my children alone at home, neither together nor alone. And every time I remind you what to do if everything does not go according to plan.
I think it does not matter where the family lives, in a big city or in a small village: I would not leave children alone for a long time until they are at least 12 years old. When I was 10, I did not go to school due to illness, and my parents were at work. On that day, a robber broke into our apartment through the balcony. I was lucky: he tried to fence the apartment above us, but the owners returned, so he went down to our balcony, broke the window and just ran into my room to jump out of the window on the other side of the house. But I was very scared. I remember how I hid behind the sofa in the living room and called 02, I remember how I said: “Please come soon. And then I’m 10 years old and very scared.”
Everything ended well, but I don't want my children to experience something like this, so I'll try not to leave them alone at home on a permanent basis for as long as possible.
“Staying home alone is good”
mother of three children
I have three children — 12, 10 and 7 years old. The eldest daughter almost never stayed at home alone: grandfather and grandmother inspired me that it was dangerous and scary. I tried not to convey these concerns to her, but she understood everything anyway. Therefore, she is still afraid to be alone even during the day and prefers to walk while no one is at home: she is calmer on the street.
I left my middle son at the age of seven and a half - he was sick, and I had to take my eldest daughter to school. Then he was a little nervous, but in general everything was in order. So gradually he got used to being alone. I was afraid for him, but he is calm, not playful, but on the contrary, too cautious, so now he is calmly sitting at home alone.
The youngest was home alone for the first time at the age of six - I needed to meet one of the older ones, and I left her at home with the phone. And so it happened. If she is very scared, she turns on the voice assistant Alice or calls me.
Now, if there are three or two children, they can sit alone most of the day. I can come in, check, bring groceries and leave again on business. They will be a little indignant, but on the whole they will remain well - without tears. The only thing is that they are afraid to sit alone at home when it is dark. And in winter it will be a problem.
I think that two points are important in this matter. The first is to look at the child: if he does not panic, can serve himself, for example, find a snack or pour water, then you can leave him alone for a while. This is a useful experience: to be alone, to be alert, to feel responsible.
Second - it should be safe in the house. When we lived on the 15th floor, I never left the children alone. And now we live on the first floor, we have a secure door, we have a mobile phone at home, I turn off the stove when I leave and check everything.
The question of whether it is possible to leave a child alone at night, is solved in the same way - this is not prohibited by law, but parents must ensure his safety, even if they are not nearby.
Is it possible to leave a child at home with older children. This is not prohibited by law. But it is important to remember that the responsibility for children lies with their parents, not older children. Therefore, if a child suffers, it is the parents who will be punished - but only if their guilt is established.
“Before you leave, create a safe environment for your child and talk to him”
It is impossible to unequivocally answer the question of at what age you can leave a child alone for some time. Most recommendations boil down to the fact that supervision is necessary up to 7 years. At the same time, some babies at the age of 5-6 are quite independent and are quite capable of spending 1-2 hours without parents, while others should not be left without adults even after 7 years.
From the point of view of evolution, being alone for a child means death, he is really very scared. The baby's brain is not yet able to understand that times have changed, a wild beast will not get into the cave, dangers in the environment have been reduced to a minimum. In addition, such a concept as "time" is still too difficult for preschoolers to comprehend, every minute without parents seems like an eternity.
If you decide to leave your child alone for a few hours, it is important to create a safe and predictable environment. Physical security means, for example, that blockers are installed on the windows, furniture is fixed so that it does not fall on the baby, and dangerous objects cannot be found.
Predictability is also important for peace of mind and a comfortable psychological state. In no case should you disappear without warning, you must tell the baby in advance where you are going when you return, what he can do while you are away. For example, you can put a clock in a prominent place and say that you will return when the big hand is here and the small one is here. This will help to avoid the baby's worries that the parents did not return on the promised date.
An excellent option would be to list the activities that the child will do while you are away. For example, "you will play, read a book, drink water and eat the cookies that I left on the table for you, and then I will return."
Legal representatives of minors are responsible for their life and health. And if the child is harmed, they will bear the statutory liability - civil, administrative, family law or criminal.
As part of civil disputes, parents compensate for property damage caused by their child. Until the age of 14 they do it without fail, and from 14 to 18 years old - only if the child does not have his own money for this.
Parents who do not fulfill parental duties are brought to administrative responsibility. The fine for this is 100-500 R.
Family liability is the restriction and deprivation of parental rights. So parents are punished if they create conditions that are dangerous to the life or health of the child.
Criminal liability is provided for violation of the norms of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. For example, parents are often found guilty if they leave a child in danger or abuse it.
do parents have to pay for repairs if a child breaks someone else's phone
Mom's friends came to visit us. One of them has a six-year-old son. I let him play my phone and walked away. After 5 minutes, he comes and shows me a broken phone. It turns out that he dropped it on a tile and the glass cracked. Do the child's parents have to pay for my new glass?
Parents are responsible both for the child and for the harm caused by him. Therefore, you must pay for the repair of your phone. If the boy's parents refuse to compensate for the damage, then you can go to court. True, there is a chance that after the trial your mother will have one less friend.
Why parents should pay damages
Anyone whose rights have been violated can claim damages. Let's take your case: you had a working phone, and now it cannot be used for its intended purpose. Someone else's child broke it and deprived you of the right to use the thing. You probably suffered losses, because you have to spend money on glass repairs or a new phone.
Art. 15 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation
The law says that the one who caused the harm compensates for the losses. If this is a child under 14 years old, then the parents will pay for the damage, unless they prove that the child is not guilty. At the same time, the parents will pay the debt, even if the child has become an adult or has property or money.
Art. 1064 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation
If a child pest is over 14 years old, then he himself will be financially responsible. However, if he does not have property with which he could pay off, then the parents will have to prepare the money. In this case, mom and dad will pay only until the child reaches the age of majority.
In your case, the child's parents are required to pay for the repair of the phone or repair it at their own expense, because the child is a preschooler and is under 14 years old.
What to do? 10/25/18
A child broke someone else's phone at school. Who should pay?
Who will compensate for the damage caused by the child
How old is the child
Who will compensate the damage
When the child turns 18
Up to 14
Parents. If there is nothing to pay - child
Child. If there is nothing to pay - parents
Parents If there is nothing to pay - a child
If a child from 14 to 18
Who will compensate for the damage
Child. If there is nothing to pay - parents
When the child turns 18
Cases of harm caused by children are not so rare. If there is evidence of the child's guilt, then the court takes the side of the injured party, and the child's parents will be forced to pay damages.
For example, in the Khabarovsk Regional Court, they considered the case of damage to the car by a children's snow scooter. The girl was riding a snow scooter without parental supervision, which rolled under the bumper of a parked car and damaged it.
The court considered that the girl drove into the car because her parents did not look after her. And he ordered them to pay the owner of the car 63,234 R: 57,315 R for damage to the car, 2000 R for an examination and 1919 R for state duty.
Your rights if you have children
What to do
There are several options. Choose which one suits.
Forgive and forget. You can simply forgive a child for a broken phone, repair it and keep in mind that expensive equipment is not a toy for children.
Amazing story 07/12/19
One schoolboy harmed another. Who will pay: parents or school?
Talk to the parents of child and explain that they are required by law to answer for his actions.