How to make your child grateful

10 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids

Saying thank you is one of the first social rules many parents teach their children, and for good reason. We want our kids to be appreciative and not take things for granted, and learning to be grateful can improve kids’ relationships, ability to empathize, and overall happiness. If you are looking for ways to reinforce the importance of gratitude or would like to find other meaningful ways your kids can show appreciation, here are some tips:

1. Set an example

Kids learn a lot from watching their parents. Show them what it means to be grateful by offering a genuine “thank you!” to a waitress who serves your food, a helpful neighbor, someone who holds the door open for you. But don’t stop there — include your kids, too. Thanking children for doing things that are helpful, even when they are chores like putting away toys, reinforces the behavior and lets them know they’re appreciated.

2. Point out generosity

Call attention to it when people (including your kids!) do things that go beyond what’s expected — helping without being asked, being especially thoughtful, or taking extra time to do something because it’s important to someone else. Send the message that you will notice if they knock themselves out for you, or for someone else.

3. Have a talk

For some kids, especially young children or those who have trouble understanding emotions, it can help to have a talk about how showing appreciation makes other people feel. Try asking your child how they feel when people say thank you to them for doing something nice, and then how they feel when they don’t. Going over his own feelings will help them understand how his behavior affects others and make it easier for them to understand the emotional benefits of being grateful.

4. Find fun ways to say thanks

There are lots of ways to show gratitude. If your child isn’t comfortable talking to strangers or has a hard time expressing themself in writing, work together to come up with a different way for them to show their appreciation. They could try giving a smile or a thumbs up if someone holds the door, or show grandma how much they love their new coat by drawing a thank you picture (or taking a smiling selfie!) instead of writing a card.

5. Share the love

Encourage kids to think of people who help them, from coaches to neighbors to the local firemen, and say thanks with cookies or cupcakes. Making them and giving them are fun, and they help kids see how connected we all are.

6. Put things in perspective

Talk to your kids about those who are less fortunate. Don’t scare them, but don’t keep them in the dark either. Understanding that not everyone has the same advantages will help them develop compassion for others and gratitude for their own privileges.

7. Let kids choose

Encourage kids to turn their interests into action. Whether it’s a fundraising drive at school, a bake sale, or a run for charity, expressing their interests and using their skills for a good cause is a great way to boost their confidence and give them a chance to give back at the same time.

8. Get involved

If kids are too young to go alone or aren’t comfortable dealing with strangers solo, make giving back a family affair. Find places where you can volunteer together or let your child choose a charity to donate to. Giving and gratitude go hand in hand, and doing it as a family will bring everyone closer and help you make some great memories.

9. Make gratitude part of bedtime

When you tuck them in at night, ask your child to tell you three things they’re grateful for. Even if they’ve had a bad day it will help them—and you—end each day on a positive note.

10. Give kids credit

Be mindful of the fact that your child may have their own way of expressing gratitude, even if it doesn’t fit your expectations. Different kids communicate in different ways. For example, your child may be more comfortable giving a hug than a verbal thank you, or might show their appreciation by helping out around the house or drawing you a picture. Tuning in to your child’s unique way of being thankful will let them know that even as they’re learning new ways to give back, you see and appreciate the thoughtful person they already are.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you teach kids to be grateful?

You teach kids to be grateful by calling attention to when people show generosity, talking to them about how showing appreciation makes other people feel, and encouraging them to show appreciation to those who help them out.

7 Simple Ways to Teach Your Kids to Be Grateful

Parenting

written by OJUS PATEL

November 14, 2022

Source: @amylouhawthorne

Teaching gratitude to kids is one of the more challenging parts of parenthood. Not only is bring grateful a really abstract concept for young children but, by nature, little ones are pretty self-centered (in a blissfully unaware way, of course). But this is one of the most important things you can teach your kids—practicing gratitude sets kids up to be more sensitive and empathetic to the plights of others, as well as less demanding and entitled overall. Many experts also say that being grateful leads to increased overall happiness (and that goes for us too, fellow adults).

Sometimes we shy away from attempting to teach such a hugely abstract thing at a very young age, but the truth is, our kids are there waiting for us to do so. Babies as young as 18 months can begin to understand that they are taken care of by others and that others do things to make them happy—a foundational concept for learning appreciation. By 2 years old, toddlers can start to articulate things they are thankful for, like Mommy and Daddy or their favorite toys or pets. And, by age 4, little brains can start to understand that gratitude can encompass not only things and people but also acts of kindness and love.

Babies as young as 18 months can begin to understand that they are taken care of by others and that others do things to make them happy—a foundational concept for learning appreciation.

Though understanding how to be grateful is essentially a lifelong learning process, there are many ways to begin to instill those qualities in your children in a gentle and relatable way. These simple activities will help you begin the conversation with your kids, and the consistency of those conversations will plant the seeds to grow a truly grateful and happy child.

1. Model gratitude out loud

2. Make a gratitude tree or jar

3. Read books

4. Make a gratitude collage

5. Donate with your children

6. Talk about it

7. Make gratitude part of your day, every day

1. Model gratitude out loud

This seems to be an obvious one, but it’s one we all slack on. So much of what we think or feel stays within us, mostly for the better (hello, frustration), but not always. Our children learn the most by what we do and say and they learn just as much from what we don’t do or say. If you’re not actively practicing outward appreciation and gratitude in a way that is accessible and descriptive, there’s a good chance that it will be a much harder concept for your children to learn.

Practicing this is not at all complicated. Simply take time to pause in small moments and say out loud what comes to your heart and head. It can be something small like, “Wow, these trees with changing leaves are just beautiful. Nature is just so stunning, and I love sharing these moments with you.” Or take a brief moment when you’re in line at the checkout counter: “Look at this full grocery cart with all of this delicious and healthy food. We are so fortunate to be able to bring this home to our family.”

It doesn’t take much—saying these things out loud will make it easier for your children to understand gratitude and learn just what things are the ones to be thankful for.

Source: @chantelleenelson

2. Make a gratitude tree or jar

Young kids love visuals, and gratitude trees or gratitude jars are an easy way to keep gratitude at the forefront of your family’s mind on a day-to-day basis. These can be decorated as simply or complex as you want, but the bottom line remains the same. Each day, each person writes one thing they are grateful for on a leaf for the tree or on a note for the jar. Little ones might need a nudge at first, but soon they’ll catch on with examples from the rest of the family. The best thing about this is being able to hear what’s important and meaningful in the hearts of your kids.

And as the leaves and notes begin to add up, you get a powerful visual of all the wonderful things there are to be grateful for.

3. Read books

I don’t think I’ve ever written any sort of parenting article that doesn’t include this advice because it’s a big one. Reading with your kids is so important on so many levels, but one of the greatest advantages your kids will have from being exposed to a variety of wonderful children’s literature is the window they’ll gain into the outside world.

Kids’ worlds are small and consist of the things within their mental and emotional grasp—their family, their friends, their schools, their things. Books allow a perspective outside of that, to people and places they don’t normally see or hear of. Books also teach through visual images and storytelling, which is easier for kids to understand and relate to their own lives and experiences.

Some of our favorite books that teach gratitude: All the World, Andy and the Lion, Bear Says Thanks, The Thankful Book, and Those Shoes.

4. Make a gratitude collage

Similar to a gratitude tree or jar, a collage can be a great visual for your child in helping to see the goodness in their life. Simply gather some printed photos, magazines, and catalogs, and have your child cut (or cut for them as they point) out things that they appreciate in their life and are grateful for.

I learned quite a bit while doing this with my older son—as we talked and he chose items like healthy food and books and puzzles, I could see what was important to him and what he learned from me even when I thought he wasn’t watching. We hung the collage in his room—right where he can see it every day and night.

5. Donate with your children

Making a point to donate grown-out clothes and gently used toys is a simple way to make a big difference. Help your kids go through their things and put aside something that might make another little child happy or that another child could use.

Not only will this help clear the clutter, but it also begins to instill a sense of generosity and a separation of happiness and things. It allows them the experience of letting go and giving at the same time.

If your children are older, talk them through the process of choosing a place to give to. You can discuss the joy other kids will get in using the new-to-them items, as a way to encourage connectivity and empathy.

Source: @paigechristensen

6. Talk about it

Be open about gratitude and help them talk through their experiences. The Raising Grateful Children project at UNC-Chapel Hill notes that gratitude has four parts, but parents rarely teach them all. They offer the NOTICE-THINK-FEEL-DO model:

What do we NOTICE in our lives for which we can be grateful?
How do we THINK about why we have been given those things?
How do we FEEL about the things we have been given?
What do we DO to express appreciation in turn?

By prompting questions surrounding these notions in conversations with your children as they go through life, experience things, and receive various gifts, you can help to increase their emotional and mental capacity for appreciation and gratitude.

7. Make gratitude part of your day, every day

Many families choose to take turns expressing their thanks at the dinner table, others make the time before bed. Whatever it is, keep it regular. Doing this daily will help your child get into the routine to practice thinking about gratitude throughout their day as they get closer to the time when it’s their turn to say their piece.

This article was originally published in 2018 and has been updated for timeliness.

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10 Easy Ways to Teach Your Child Gratitude

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HomeBlog for parents Upbringing

05/19/2014, 12:29

Gratitude can bring joy to life in almost any situation. But the feeling of gratitude does not come by itself, it is, surprisingly, brought up in us by adults. Take a little family time to teach your child such an important life value and the ability to give thanks, your efforts will pay off handsomely!

Share with your child those to whom and for what you yourself are grateful. You may think that the child is too small for adult conversations. But talking to family members expressing gratitude to any of them, or talking about how grateful you feel for a colleague, teacher, coach, or whoever it is, is never too early to have in front of a child.
Make your own or send thank you cards. Let the child observe how you express your gratitude.

Play the game "How would you feel without it." The game can be played at any time, and the worse your mood or your child’s mood is, the better. Just ask the child how he would feel if he did not have any things or opportunities. Children are surprised at how varied life really is and how ambiguous are precisely those things, events and opportunities that we consider “normal”.

You may enjoy discussing how other people live without the same things and experiences that you have. These word games teach us to appreciate what life gives us.

Create a Thank You Bank. Decorate any jar, put it in a special place and put a few sheets of writing paper and a pencil next to it. You can drop notes into the jar with the names of those you thank, or with the name of the object, event, opportunity for which you thank someone or even life. A child can lower small objects-symbols into a jar, which he endows with his gratitude to someone and for something. And once a month, arrange a “Gratitude Evening”, when the bank is opened and each of the family members remembers when, whom and for what he thanked.

Make a Thank You Tree or Thanksgiving Wreath. On each large leaf of this tree or wreath, write down what you have and what you especially appreciate. A tree or a wreath will serve as a reminder of what you already have, as well as show you how many things that you are also grateful for, appear in you over time.

For them, you can make leaves of a different color. Involve the child in the process of filling the leaves. It is important that the child does not remain alone in his actions, so that he sees the importance of gratitude for members of his family.

Write a list of ways your family members can be grateful. Discuss with your child how you can express your gratitude: draw a picture? Give a gift? Express care, help with household chores, do something nice? Teach your child to accompany all these symbols with words of gratitude, but do not cross the line beyond which the symbol of gratitude becomes a gesture of "I-do-you-do-not-owe anything more." This line is thin, and in order not to cross it, gratitude must come from a pure heart.

Read books about gratitude or write your own Thank You Book. When you and your child have gained sufficient experience in understanding the feeling of gratitude in different situations, ask the child, “If there was a book about Gratitude in the world, what would it be like, what would be written in it?”.

It is good to create such a book together with the child's friends.

Draw and write down things you are grateful for.
Make a collage of photos of things, events, people for which you are grateful in life. Such a collage can be timed to coincide with the very "Evening of Gratitude" when you will open your jar with notes and symbols.
Keep a special journal (notebook). Add to it notes about something new for which you are grateful. Do not forget to thank yourself with your child for helping yourself to achieve new successes. You will see, this simple procedure will increase children's self-esteem and add a sense of happiness to him!

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Seven ways to teach a child to be grateful

Komsomolskaya Pravda

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House. FamilyMom and babyMom and baby: Education and development

Anna GERASIMENKO

August 22, 2021 23:57

I try, I do everything for him, I buy everything for him, and he won’t even say thank you!” Moms and dads often complain. And children simply do not always know how to appreciate what they do for them, and if they do, they do not know how to express their gratitude. You can help them learn to be grateful by following these 7 tips:

1. Describe this feeling

The child doesn't know what it's like to be grateful. The task of parents is to teach the child to recognize emotions. Tell me how to respond if you want to say "thank you". Catch the moment when the baby can feel it and pay his attention. In addition, the usual rule of "saying thank you" has not been canceled either. Don't expect your child to learn everything the first time. Be patient and keep practicing.

2. Explain with an example

Our children don't understand how lucky they are. That their childhood is filled with toys, gadgets, opportunities, interesting pastimes. Annoyed to say "you don't appreciate your happiness! I didn't have anything at all in my childhood" - it's like saying nothing. The child does not believe in the word. He does not understand how it is when there is NOTHING. But if you and your child collect a bag of toys or buy a pack of notebooks and pencils for children in an orphanage, because they don’t have it, it will be much clearer. Do not scare with scary stories about orphans and beggars, no, just show (using books, films, stories as an example) that not all people have so many opportunities, and many children dream of such a train, or such a doll, or a trip to the sea with parents. That is why we are glad that we have this train! We appreciate it, we are grateful for it.

3. Don't buy everything

This is probably one of the most important points. If a child has everything, if he even has no time to dream, if the child cannot answer the question “what do you want for your birthday”, then he “does not have time” to evaluate. He gets everything and is used to taking it for granted. So stop bombarding your child with toys! Show that any thing costs money. And money should be spent wisely and on what is really really needed. How do you know if a child really needs something? He will talk about this thing every day, dream and remember. And if he does, he will feel joy and gratitude! And that's exactly what we were after!

4. Don't forget to say "thank you" yourself

Children do what their parents do. Moreover, children learn to feel what their parents feel. Grandma brought you a pie or apples - thank you from the bottom of your heart, and don't just bring it to the kitchen. The kid himself prepared a soup of sand and mud for you - say "thank you, it's very tasty!" They gave you a seat in the subway - thank you with a smile. The child will "absorb" and do the same.

5. Show the value of life

You cooked soup, took your child to kindergarten or school, helped with homework, ironed uniforms, bought warm boots… From our adult point of view, all this is very valuable! And the child does not see anything interesting in this. Show your heirs the side of life that is interesting for them - amusement parks, animals in the zoo, play pirates in the yard, flood the hill in winter, buy a hamster, go to the station and just look at the trains, count the wagons, take the child to your job, tell us about the incredible animals, take with you on a trip! When a child knows that there are so many interesting things in life, he understands how valuable it is. You point to moments to be grateful for, things that make us happy.

6. Magic word

This "technique" has been working great since the time of our great-grandmothers. Until Vanya says the "magic word", kefir will not appear on his table. Sometimes only the rules in the game work.

7. It's nice to give thanks

Don't force your child to be grateful, don't get annoyed when he doesn't say "thank you" or doesn't notice your efforts. So you will only awaken in him a feeling of guilt, the child will feel bad, because he does not feel gratitude. And for this, he certainly won’t say “thank you” to you, and in the future he will do it “under duress”. Why do you have such false joy? Rather, tell your child that when you feel gratitude, it makes you happy. It's nice to be thankful! Who wants to deprive themselves of the opportunity to be a little happier?

Try it! And thanks for reading our article!

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