How Can a Suicidal Parent Lose Custody?

by B. Robert Farzad

How to File a Motion for Drug Testing Against a Drug Addicted Parent

by B. Robert Farzad

OurFamilyWizard versus TalkingParents: Which App is Right for You?

by B. Robert Farzad

Cohabitation and Alimony in California

by Yvette Ochoa

More Publications

7 Ways To Lose Custody of Your Child: Moms and Dads

Parents often wonder how a mother can lose custody of her child. The truth is mothers can lose custody in the same way as fathers.

It's a common misconception that family courts favor mothers, when in fact, no state has laws favoring mothers in custody decisions. Many states actually have laws that prohibit family court judges from considering either parent's gender.

Custody cases in all states are decided based on the child's best interests.

Contrary to popular belief then, a mother — just like a father — can lose custody if the court decides that it's best for the child.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans and custody schedules.

Make My Schedule and Plan Now

It's generally considered best for both parents to be involved in their child's upbringing. When a parent loses custody, judges still typically order some limited parenting time for them, such as supervised visitation.

Family courts often set conditions to allow the restricted parent to eventually earn unrestricted or additional time with the child. For example, if a mother loses custody for drug abuse and has supervised visitation, the court may allow her to have unsupervised visits after completing addiction treatment and participating in drug testing.

How a mother or father can lose custody

In all states, the court's primary concern is the child's physical safety and caretaking needs. Family courts also ensure that children have stable homes and are secure with both parents.

If a mother or father poses a risk to their child's safety or security, the other parent can ask the court to order sole physical custody to restrict the unsafe parent's time with the child and sole legal custody to limit their role in making decisions about the child.

1. Abusing or neglecting the child

If a parent physically abuses or neglects their child, courts typically award sole custody to the other parent.

Child abuse is defined as any non-accidental physical harm to a child caused by a parent or caregiver. It includes hitting, punching, whipping, burning, hair pulling, shoving, throwing, choking and any other action that causes physical injury. Physical discipline (e.g., spanking) is not considered abuse if it does not injure the child. (However, experts recommend non-physical discipline.)

Sexual abuse occurs when a parent or caregiver uses a child for sexual purposes or involves the child in sexual acts. It also occurs when an older or more powerful child uses a younger child for sexual acts. Parents who sexually abuse their child or knowingly put them at risk of sexual abuse typically lose custody and, often, parental rights.

Emotional abuse includes not offering affection, shaming the child, telling them they're unwanted, yelling at them and keeping them isolated from others. Courts consider emotional and psychological abuse when determining custody, especially if a parent has mental health issues that negatively impact their parenting (e.g., if a parent is a narcissist).

Neglect is a form of abuse in which a parent fails to meet the child's care needs. Physical neglect includes not caring for the child's hygiene and not providing adequate shelter, food or clothing.

Leaving a child alone or with inadequate or dangerous caregivers is also considered neglect. Educational neglect occurs when a parent doesn't enroll the child in school, allows them to miss a lot of school or ignores their special education needs. Medical neglect is failure to ensure the child receives necessary or recommended medical care.

2. Using alcohol or drugs irresponsibly

If a parent's alcohol or drug use impacts the child, or if a parent has untreated alcohol or drug addiction, courts will most likely restrict their parenting time to supervised visitation. Illegal drug use, even if the parent hasn't been convicted of a drug crime, can also cause a parent to lose custody.

Additionally, many states have laws addressing child custody and convictions for driving under the influence (DUI). In Arizona, for example, the court can deny or restrict parenting time for a parent who has a DUI conviction within 12 months of the custody dispute.

If a parent who formerly abused alcohol or drugs has received treatment and is otherwise a safe parent, courts will most likely not restrict their custody, especially if they've been in recovery for a significant amount of time. The court may require drug testing or evidence of ongoing treatment.

How cannabis use impacts custody depends on the state's laws and if the parent's use affects the child. Like moderate and safe alcohol use, the court may not consider it a risk if the parent uses it legally, safely (e.g., no driving under the influence) and only when they're not around the child.

However, if the parent uses cannabis illegally or endangers the child through their use, the court may limit their custody. It's also important to remember that cannabis is still illegal under federal law, even in states that have legalized. Depending on the court and judge, even legal recreational use could be viewed as criminal activity that endangers the child.

3. Abducting the child

Parent–child abduction — also called parental kidnapping and custodial interference — is a crime that occurs when a parent keeps the child from the other parent with the intent of interfering with that parent's custodial rights.

When this happens, the parent who abducted the child often loses custody, especially if they took the child over state lines or to another country, or if they caused the child psychological or physical harm.

However, if the victim keeps the child away from the other parent in order to protect themself or the child from abuse, the court may not consider it a crime or hold it against them in custody decisions.

4. Disobeying court orders

Custody orders — often issued in the form of a parenting plan and a parenting time schedule — are legal mandates that both parents must follow. Depending on the number and severity of the violations, disobeying court orders can result in loss of custody and even criminal charges.

For example, repeatedly being very late to drop off the child is not only disobeying court orders, it can be considered custodial interference or parental kidnapping, which are crimes.

Violations prevent effective co-parenting and can negatively impact the child, so courts take them seriously and often limit the custody of the violating parent.

Disobeying child support orders, however, is typically not grounds for losing custody. A parent who fails to pay child support may face civil or criminal charges, but courts do not take away their parenting time. Additionally, the other must still follow the court orders, including the parenting schedule.

5. Interfering in the child's relationship with the other parent

Family courts emphasize the importance of children having ongoing, healthy relationships with both parents. This is why joint custody is the most common arrangement. It's also why a parent who tries to minimize the other parent's role in the child's life without a reasonable cause (e.g., protecting the child's safety) may lose custody.

In addition to preventing the child from seeing the other parent, interfering with the child's relationship with the other parent includes badmouthing them to or in front of the child, lying about them and discouraging the child from wanting to spend time with them.

Parental alienation is a severe form of interference in which a parent deliberately manipulates their child to turn against the other parent. There are currently no state laws that specifically address parental alienation, but many child custody experts consider it abuse. Family court judges often rule against the alienating parent and may order individual or family counseling.

6. Lying to the court

Lying in court paperwork or to the judge can also impact custody. While lying to the court (perjury) is a crime, family courts rarely pursue charges against a parent for lying. Instead, judges consider the dishonesty evidence that the parent won't support the child's relationship with the other parent or co-parent effectively. In these situations, judges often rule in favor of the other parent.

In particular, courts do not look favorably on parents who lie about child abuse or domestic violence. Many states, including California, Florida and New York, have laws that empower judges to restrict custody for a parent who knowingly makes false abuse allegations.

7. Generally putting the child at risk

Other behaviors and parenting issues that put the child's physical and emotional well-being at risk can also cause a parent to lose custody.

Convictions for crimes or evidence of criminal activity, especially if the crimes are violent or if the victim was a child, typically cause a parent to lose custody.

When evaluating possible risks to children, courts also consider who lives in each parent's home and who spends time around the child. For example, if a parent's romantic partner has a criminal record or abuses drugs, judges often consider this a risk to the child and limit that parent's custody.

Irresponsible parenting — e.g., having lax rules, encouraging reckless behavior, not monitoring media content — can also be used as evidence that a parent isn't adequately caring for their child. If the irresponsible parent puts the child at significant physical, emotional or psychological risk, courts may limit their custody and order them to complete parenting classes.

Unemployment in and of itself will not cause a parent to lose custody. However, if a parent is unable to financially care for their child and issues of neglect arise, a judge may award custody to the more financially-stable parent. A parent who pays child support must still make payments if they lose their job, but they can ask the court to modify their child support order when they have an involuntary job loss.

Child custody evaluations

When the child's saftey is a concern, disputed cases typically include a custody evaluation, in which a court-ordered expert (often a mental health professional) evaluates parents' ability to adequately care for their child.

The evaluator reviews the family's records and interviews the parents. Often, they also interview the child and others who know the family. The evaluator writes a report for the judge that summarizes everything and makes custody recommendations. Judges don't always order what the evaluator recommends, but they typically give the reports great weight.

Either parent can request an evaluation, and judges often order them of their own accord when they need more information. In many courts, custody evaluations are automatic if child abuse is alleged or suspected. Courts may also appoint a guardian ad litem to investigate the family and represent the child's best interests in court.

Modifying orders

Either parent can ask the court to modify existing custody orders and request sole custody. If the child is in immediate physical danger, courts can issue an emergency order to protect them from the unsafe parent.

Remember that family courts don't take what parents say at face value — they require proof (evidence) of every claim made in court paperwork and proceedings. In addition to reports from custody evaluators, common custody evidence includes photos, emails, text messages, social media posts, family calendars and official records (e.g., medical, school, criminal, child protective services).

The tools you need to seek custody

The Custody X Change app has many features that help you organize the evidence you need so you can seek custody and help secure your child's safety.

• Create a detailed parenting plan that spells out every aspect of co-parenting in airtight legal language and shows the judge your competency.
• Make a custom parenting time schedule that meets your child's needs and supports their relationship with the other parent.
• Keep a custody journal to electronically organize evidence, document incidents and keep a record of parenting plan violations.
• Track actual parenting time and get reports showing parenting time violations.
• Use the secure messaging center to keep an accurate record of your conversations with the other parent.
• Link your account to your lawyer's and print your journal, reports and messages so you can submit them to the court as evidence.

Use Custody X Change to stay organized and get what's best for your child.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans and custody schedules.

Make My Schedule and Plan Now

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans and custody schedules.

How to deal with a tyrant in the family | Chita.ru

Photo: http://psikolojiakademi.com

Share

On the afternoon of April 30, a resident of Chita locked himself in an apartment on Ukrainsky Boulevard and held his three-year-old son hostage for several hours until 1:00 the next day. The man had a weapon. The mother of the child told the news agency "Chita.Ru" about what preceded the tragedy.

During the first press approach, which was given by the assistant to the head of the investigation department, the phrase was heard that due to the age of three, the child "did not adequately assess the situation." We decided to find out from psychologists what such cases are fraught with for children and how mothers who find themselves in abusive relationships should behave.

In an abusive relationship, one partner violates the personal boundaries of the other, humiliates, allows cruelty in communication and actions in order to suppress the will of the victim. In this type of relationship, the victim and the aggressor do not change places; for a number of reasons, the victim cannot get out of this relationship.

Tatyana Kuzmina, a medical psychologist at the Medlyuksik Children's Center, believes that the age of three could hardly protect a child from psychological trauma.

- It all depends on how the situation [developed]. It’s impossible to say for sure, but psychologists who work with such psychological trauma say that the younger the child, the stronger the psychological trauma, and even more serious consequences are possible.

- What is the effect of such an experience on a child?

- [In such cases] parents make a mistake [if] they do not seek help because [the child] does not have obvious manifestations. Changes can appear much later, and the child himself cannot cope with this. What symptoms, disturbances in a consequence can be shown? Regression - a return in development to earlier stages: he may begin to talk and behave like a smaller one, self-service skills may be violated.

If a child is normal and already speaks well at the age of 3, he can become uncommunicative, withdrawn, not talking at all, with strangers - from the word at all. He may have fears, sleep disturbances, he may be in an anxiety-depressive state or a state with a reduced emotional background. All these symptoms often begin to appear after such traumatic situations. And, perhaps not immediately - gradually. And recovery occurs not earlier than in a year.

- Is it necessary to somehow build communication with the child in a special way after such an incident?

- In general, in such situations, children react to the mother's emotional state: how she felt at that moment, how she behaved. As a psychologist from work experience, [I will say]: if dad has always been like this, with [similar] manifestations, then this is a familiar picture for a child. For him, more important is how mother reacted to this situation, how worried she was, anxious, whether her behavior differed from her usual - this moment makes a big impression.

To restore the psyche, the child needs attention, care, care, return to a comfortable state, positive emotions, play. And if he speaks well, it makes sense to listen to what he says. Maybe at first he will not tell, but then he will still begin to return to this situation. Sometimes children start playing these events. That is, you don’t need to try to switch them and replace them with something, but give the opportunity to react to this whole situation, lose it, speak it out.

- The ex-wife of the accused told that she was afraid of her husband and he threatened her.

- This is clearly a deviation from the norm, from some kind of normal family foundations. Probably, this is not the atmosphere in which you can bring up a full-fledged, confident, successful person. Parents educate their children by their behavior, [everything that he saw in the family,] the child will carry on.

- What advice can you give to women in this relationship? How to minimize the risk to the child?

- As I said, the child reacts to the mother. If a mother makes a choice for herself that this is the relationship she needs, she must control her behavior. When a woman demonstrates that she is unhappy and everything is bad, how can this be minimized? The child sees it, he lives in it. It is, of course, difficult. If a mother makes such a choice, she must demonstrate that everything is in order, everything is fine. Or look for forms of change [of the situation], look for an acceptable path for yourself. Of course, a child is happy in a family where parents are happy. You can't talk about happiness, you can only show it.

- Is it possible to recognize the moment before some radical action by the abuser? It is clear that all this is individual, but are there any patterns that indicate that the situation is reaching a peak?

- In any case, a sign that some actions may occur are words, pronunciation of intentions. If a man says that such actions are possible, there is no guarantee that this will not lead to action. Already from the very beginning he prepares and admits the possibilities of certain events. Therefore, one should not count on chance, [and think] that this will never happen. This is the first moment. The second moment is when this [voicing] is accompanied by moments of physical aggression. [Then] such situations are predictable to some extent.

- How can a child build relationships with an abusive father in the future?

- In any case, the child will need psychological help. Accept this situation, reformat it, because he has to live with it. It is important how, in general, information [about the father] is given to him, so as not to live later in the state of the victim. This is important for the self-esteem of the child, for his future. One part of the child is the mother, the other is the father. They cannot be bad a priori. For a person to be happy, some moments must be worked out and some kind of balance found.

Olga Sokolova, clinical psychologist at the Academy of Health, explains that a child may not really be aware of the danger that threatens him.

- He may be scared, offended, he may have desires, but he hardly assessed what happened to him [precisely as] a threat to life and health. Until the age of 3, a child by and large does not understand the danger and cannot adequately assess it. If this is his father, I am now fantasizing (about the specific situation with the Dokins) , then perhaps they had a good relationship and “kept the child” - this, excuse me, is a trick of journalists. Maybe he turned on cartoons for him or closed him in a room with toys? He created some conditions so that the child, according to the father, was safe.

- Does a child who has encountered such manipulation by a parent, in any case, need to turn to psychologists? Or is relative comfort somehow able to mitigate the trauma?

- This is a long-term situation, and she can shoot in adulthood. It can become psychotraumatic, [especially] if it is given an emotional coloring.

- If an abusive relationship lasts for several years, how realistic is it for a woman to get out of this scenario on her own?

- In this case, the girl definitely needs to go to a psychologist. We have a crisis center for women who find themselves in a difficult life situation in Beregina. There is free psychological help by phone [support], you can call the round-the-clock line. Of course, in order to decide to change the situation, one needs both strength and emotional and financial resources.

- Why do women wait to the last? Can it be that the victims justify their fear and decision to stay with the aggressor by caring for the child?

- Here you can judge differently. [Really important for a child] is the educational attitude of both parents. Perhaps a woman has working conditions, and she needs her to come and have a husband at home. To meet the child from the kindergarten. There can be many “profitable” moments.

Sometimes women say “my grandmothers lived like that, my mother lived” and endure. To understand what is happening with a partner, and how normal his behavior is, you can go to a psychologist and describe the symptoms. And the specialist will tell you whether this is the norm or a pathology. And if they tell you that this is a pathology, that he will not change and his behavior will progress, there is nothing to catch in such a relationship. And while alive and safe, [you need to leave], you need to take care of yourself and your child.

- When children grow up in such families, do they have a chance to build normal relationships in the future without the help of psychotherapists?

- Relationships with parents leave an imprint on our professional success, on personal events, we carry the scenario of family relations into our family. It’s good if we evaluate and say: “I won’t have such a family. I know what kind of family I want to build, and I know how to do it.” From the point of view of the environment, it may seem that the marriage is not happy, but the couple will be comfortable.

Our roles have also changed. If earlier a man ran after a mammoth and got food, and a woman was the keeper of the hearth, now women drive rather big cars and run after a mammoth themselves. And for some it will seem like the wrong relationship, but for some it will be comfortable.

Nowhere is it written what is right and what is wrong. If a person is unhappy in a relationship, he looks for options on how to make them happy. And he finds opportunities.

- How can harm to the child be minimized in such a relationship?

- Food, sleep, toys, developmental environment, love are very important for a child.

- That is, if this is and is love, then the mother can somehow compensate for the aggression of the father?

- Of course. There is a film "Temporary difficulties". Relations in the family were not comfortable for the child, but in the end he grew up to be a fairly healthy person.

- Have you ever had cases when abusive marriages were somehow rehabilitated?

- I work both with families and individually with women in similar situations. My clear position is to save the family only if there is no threat to life and health. If this threat exists, then definitely don't store . If the first time was physical abuse, the second, the woman should ask herself the question: “What do I get in this relationship? Am I happy?

A psychologist is that specialist to whom no one says: "You know, I'm so happy." If a woman came with a ready desire to divorce, then the psychologist begins to investigate whether this is really so. And what does her request sound like? This is one side. The other is when both come to maintain and build other relationships. There are relationship crises, as well as age-related ones. The feeling of falling in love passes, and attraction, and passion, and then you need to build a family on new values, have common plans and common goals.

There are places in Chita where women can turn for help in difficult situations. On the basis of the perinatal center at Kokhansky, 16, in Chita, there is a service of medical and social assistance. Calls are accepted at 8-924-509-08-93 from 8. 00 to 16.00.

The Bereginya Center at 7a Truda Street helps women, families and children. Number: 8 (3022) 25-32-11.

You can also get a qualified consultation free of charge at the crisis center of the Kandinsky Regional Psychiatric Hospital, which is located on Okruzhny proezd, 3. You can come here anonymously. In total, the center accepts 10 specialists. The entry here is scheduled for two weeks in advance, but at the same time, a helpline is working, where it is easy to get through and get emergency help: 40-14-83 . And you can sign up for a face-to-face appointment by phone: +7 (914) 800-54-96.

If you have the opportunity to go to paid therapy, see our review of prices for the services of psychotherapists and psychologists in specialized centers in Chita.

Experts told how to protect your child from strangers – Moscow 24, 09/06/2022

Cases when children obediently go somewhere with strangers are not uncommon. Unfortunately, such situations often end in sad consequences. We tell how parents can protect their child from strangers.

Get ready to work

Photo: depositphotos/annadanilkova

Many parents believe that their children will not leave with strangers. But at the same time, adults cannot explain what their confidence is based on, security expert Katerina Sobkalova told Moscow.

"Just telling a child 100 times: 'You can't go away with strangers' will not make him safe. You have to work with children: give them time, not shout and forbid, but find the strength in yourself to talk calmly, to explain and even work out in advance what to do in dangerous situations. It is difficult, but this is the only way to achieve something," she warned.

Psychologist Elena Buryevaya also noted that parents tend to perceive themselves and their children as a whole and think: if they understand some things, then they are obvious to their son or daughter.

But a child is a separate person, and he does not know how everything works in the world. Therefore, he must be taught absolutely everything, including the rules by which he can live quite safely and comfortably.

It is necessary to train from about one year of age. Every time, walking with the baby on the playground, start explaining to him: he must first ask you if it is possible or not, if someone wants to give him something, give him, show him, or he decided to go somewhere, even very close, from the site.

Elena Buryeva

child psychologist

Asking permission from adults is a very important safety rule. If you introduce it from a very early age, it will become the norm for the child. He will continue to follow it on the machine, even when he starts walking on his own. This will be taken for granted, and not cause protest and questions about why the child is obliged to report to the parents.

Talk about personal boundaries

Photo: depositphotos/expsycholog.gmail.com

From the age of three, it is important to introduce a child to social circles and talk about personal boundaries. You can draw them directly on the floor or on the pavement with chalk.

Draw the first circle around the child's legs. Explain that he is in the center of his life - in it the baby is the most important. The thoughts and actions of the child also belong only to him, the psychologist explained.

In addition, no one can touch or kiss the baby without permission. Just like he has no right to touch someone who does not want to.

Ask the child to extend their arm and take a little more than half of it into the next circle. He is the closest, his family. Usually it is only mom, dad, brother, sister, sometimes grandparents.

Be sure to tell them that in every family there are secrets and secrets that cannot be told to anyone, even if they ask. For example, about when parents leave and return home, how the apartment opens, whether the baby is left alone, and so on.

Friends in the next circle. The palm of the child will fall into it, and this means that they are still close. You can’t discuss family secrets with them, but you can hug if they don’t mind.

Then draw a circle - acquaintances. It includes neighbors, a friend's mother, and so on. The child's palm no longer reaches this circle, which means that they must be restrained with them. We see these people very often, we greet them, we can ask how things are going. But we do not tell them secrets and do not hug them.

Another circle - professions. Tell your child who the police officers, rescuers of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, doctors are. Explain that, despite the rule "my body is my business," if trouble happened and you need help, you need to trust these specialists. Their mission is to save the lives and health of others.

Elena Buryevaya

child psychologist

In the last circle we have strangers, there are a lot of them. But you shouldn't scare your child. It is better to say that most likely they are all good. However, there are among them those who can hurt and hurt others. It is very difficult to recognize them, because most often they do not look like villains. Therefore, the child does not need to communicate with strangers without adults from the "family" circle.

The specialist reminded parents to be careful not to allow inconsistency in safety rules.

"Here's a common situation for you: adults explain to a child that it is dangerous to leave with strangers, and then they take him to an entertainment center and immediately leave him with a complete stranger - an animator. The kid no longer understands how the rules he was told about work in life,” says the psychologist.

In this particular case, it is important to give the child time. He must see: the parents met with the animator and made sure that the baby would be safe. Only after that they were allowed to go with an employee of the entertainment center.

Make algorithms of actions

Photo: depositphotos/kurgu128.mail.ru

The child should have not only a clear division into "friends and foes" adults, but also an understanding of which category and how to act safely for themselves, noted Sobkalov.

Our own are close people, there are very few of them. They are engaged in the upbringing of the child, they are trusted by the parents. You can help your own, it is safe to leave with them and take treats from them.

Do not include family friends, mother's best friend, and so on in the "friends" category. These people are from the category "familiar, but strangers." You can help them or leave with them, only with the permission of "their own".

Katerina Sobkalova

security expert

A child has the right not to help strangers, and the parent must give him permission to do so. It is important to speak clearly with the baby: if someone from strangers approached him and asked him to hold the car door, carry the bags to the bench, help get the kitten that ran away, and so on, then he has the right to answer to "ask another adult" and leave .

The child should know the rule that children are not usually asked for help.

Learn to assess situations

Another important skill that parents should teach their children is to distinguish between dangerous and safe situations. This should become a habit for them.

"You won't be able to teach this if you just name different situations. It's better to ask questions: "If you come close to the barbecue, is it dangerous?", "And if a stranger offers you something to drink?" Then ask to clarify why this is so what can happen and how to act to stay safe. Help him answer, "Sobkalova advised.

Gradually, the child will learn to evaluate situations and behave correctly in them. Grandmother on the street will offer a candy, he will simply refuse and go for a walk further. An unfamiliar girl will drive up in a car, open the trunk and ask for help to carry the boxes to the third floor. The child realizes that the situation can be dangerous, it is necessary to refuse and increase the distance.

If a friend asks for help - a friend's mother, a father's colleague, a coach from the last section, and so on - the child will automatically say: "Now I will call my parents and warn them. " Even if a person had bad thoughts, he will understand that adults are aware of the whereabouts of the baby.

Katerina Sobkalova

security expert

The ability to assess the situation is useful for a child not only in terms of communicating with strangers, but also in other cases. For example, when he wants to play with knives, matches or scissors, when he is called to the garages, they offer him something to eat or drink.

Let me say "no"

Photo: depositphotos/belchonock

The main reason why children leave with strange adults is that they simply cannot refuse them.

"Firstly, there is an age peculiarity. A child under eight years old has all the adults in authority. With this in mind, parents should not let their children go out alone. They can walk without their parents, but then they must be in the company of their peers," Buryevaya warned .

It is also about education. In our society, it is customary from childhood to repeat to a person like a mantra: "don't shout, be quiet, behave yourself. " Is it any wonder then that a child obediently fulfills such requests of a stranger.

In a moment of danger, the child needs the emotion of anger. But it is her parents who most often suppress in their children, categorically forbidding them to scream and get angry.

The emotion of anger is the main vital energy, power, indicator of violation of boundaries. By suppressing this emotion, we take away from the child a sense of his own power. He becomes unsure of himself, anxious, controllable. If he is offered to go somewhere, he will not be able to say no.

Elena Buryeva

child psychologist

In order not to suppress the child's emotions, do not ask him to stop, shut up, calm down, no matter how uncomfortable and unpleasant he behaves. The best option is to use the reflection technique. To do this, you just need to voice the emotions that he is probably experiencing to the baby: “You are screaming because you are scared or you just don’t like it. ”

Parents need to be patient, because this technique will not help the child to calm down, but will give him the opportunity to live emotions, and they will not be suppressed.

A baby is born with the ability to draw attention to itself in times of danger. The task of the parents is not to drown her out. Do not ask to be silent when he screams, but calmly say: "I can hear you. Are you attracting my attention?"

Parents have to choose. Or now talk a lot with the child and explain everything, so that later he would be independent and self-sufficient. Or simply force, forbid, and then there will always be a risk that he will not be able to assess the dangerous situation, refuse and protect himself.

Katerina Sobkalova

security expert

A child can say "no" in society when he has the right to an opinion in the family. If a student does not do his homework, we usually shout and force him. But it’s better to say that he has the right to refuse, while let him give three arguments why he doesn’t want to do his homework.

Learn more

• 
  Meaning of birthmark on buttocks
• 
  How many naps at 3 months
• 
  What develops first in a baby
• 
  Best vitamins for pregnant women
• 
  Newborn eats all the time
• 
  How to get out of bed when pregnant
• 
  Is it normal to have white discharge during pregnancy
• 
  How to increase self esteem of a child
• 
  Low blood count when pregnant
• 
  Is black tea safe for pregnancy
• 
  Best vitamins for pregnant women