How to get your child baptized
Getting Your Child Baptized When You’re Not A Church Member – The Pure Gift
So you want to get your child baptised but you don’t go to church? Or maybe you do occasionally attend but aren’t a member of the church? I’ve been in a similar situation. It may take a little longer but it’s absolutely doable.
Most churches will welcome a request to baptise your child even if you are not a church member or do not regularly attend church. There may be a few extra steps, like meeting with the pastor or attending a class. Churches want to baptise, but want to make sure it is being done for the right reason.
The reason that you want to have your child baptised is very important. Let’s look at some of the reasons people might have for wanting to get their child baptised.
What Is Your Main Reason For Wanting to Baptise Your Child?
There may be a few reasons that you wish to have your child baptised and that’s ok, but only one is really important to the church. Some of the reason are:
Tradition
Maybe it’s expected from extended family that you will have your child baptised. It’s probable that you were baptised as a child and maybe your parents were baptised as a child too. It’s the done thing to do. Or maybe you’re getting questioned and pressured about it. I think this is quite a common reason, but hopefully not the only reason
Belief that baptism alone will save your child
Or maybe you believe that all you need to do to get into heaven is get baptised and then heaven is a done deal. You can tick that one off the list.
Maybe you’re not sure if heaven is really real, or if what the bible says is actually true. But maybe it is real and so you hedge your bets and want to get your child baptised just in case.
You want to get your child into a christian school
Christian schools often offer high quality education and most parents will want to get their child into the best school possible (that they can afford).
This often means that there is more demand than available places at christian schools.
The criteria the school uses for selecting students may include if the child is baptised or not. The school wants to have children and families attending the school that have the same beliefs and values as the school does. This makes sense. I believe there are quite a few Catholic schools that use baptism as a selection criteria. However, this means more people will want to get their child baptised with the sole purpose of guaranteeing a good education.
My children attend a Lutheran school and baptism wasn’t a selection criteria, but church membership was.
You believe in Jesus and want to raise your child to believe in Jesus
You believe that Jesus is who he says he is – God’s son. You believe the things that Jesus said and did as recorded in the bible. As a result of this belief you want to know Jesus more and you also want your child to know him. You want your child to know how special God has made them and how much he loves them.
One reason for baptism is given by Jesus: Belief in Him.
“Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved.” Mark 16:16
Now, as a baby can’t believe when they are so young the parents believe on the child’s behalf and they promise to help their child to know God in the hope that when the child is older they may believe too.
If this last reason is your honest reason for wanting to baptise your child then I can’t imagine any church that would refuse you (unless they don’t practice infant baptism ie. Baptist church, in this case they may offer baby dedication instead).
Baptism is something we often only think about when it comes time to baptising our children (I know that was the case with me), so here’s a refresher I’ve written on what baptism is, what it means and what happens during baptism.
Views from the Church/Pastor
The church wants to baptise people. They want to welcome people into God’s family. That’s one of the main reasons they exist.
But sometimes the church/pastor is put in a difficult position when asked to baptise someone they don’t know. They don’t know the reason that you want to baptise your child. Churches want to baptise for the right reasons – belief in Jesus. So the pastor really needs to determine your motive to do his job well, hopefully without offending anyone.
Jesus also makes it clear that people are to be trained in his way of life and marked with baptism. Then to continue instructing them in practising all he has commanded:
“God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20
Churches are answerable to God (as we all are) and they need to follow God’s instructions.
For me personally, meeting with the pastor before my first child’s baptism made me realise the importance and commitment I was making in having my child baptised.
If you’re wondering what is the best age to baptise your baby, I’ve written an article looking at what’s written in the bible and given personal reasons for why I baptised my children when they were about 2.5 months old.
What’s The Process In Organising A Baptism?
If you don’t have a regular church you attend there are a few extra steps to be taken when organising a baptism for your child:
- Choose a church – is there a church you have attended that you liked? If not, maybe google and see what’s in your area and check out their webpage to get a feel for what they do and how formal/casual their services are. Note: some churches don’t do infant/child baptisms like Baptist churches, so keep this in mind when selecting a church.
- Attend the church – it’s a good idea to go and check out the church first.
It will make it easier for you to decide which one you feel comfortable with. And give you a chance to meet the pastor. - Contact the church about baptism – you might like to ring or email the church or talk directly to the pastor when at church. The church’s website will have their contact details and may also have a bit of info on baptisms.
- Home Visit from Pastor – Some churches do this but maybe not all of them. We had a home visit from a Lutheran pastor and it was a casual chat over coffee – about babies, baptism, what hopes we have for our child and he also asked about our faith. This helped me understand the big responsibility we had in raising our child to know God. At that point in time I was still pretty sleep deprived and my life revolved around feeding times and changing nappies. So it was good to step back and see the big picture.
- Possibly attend a baptism class – some churches have baptism classes that you need to attend before having your child baptised.
These weren’t offered where our children were baptised so I don’t know too much about them. - Choose Godparents – this can be kinda hard if you don’t attend church. Often aunties and uncles are chosen in this case as you know they will always be part of the child’s life, as we did. If you have someone in mind to be godparent that has a different religion/denomination check out the article I wrote looking at what is expected by different denominations. The best choice is someone who has a firm belief in Jesus who can share this belief with your child.
- Work out details of the baptism day – There will be some forms to fill out etc. Some churches have certain Sundays that they perform baptisms, like the first Sunday of every month. Others will give you a few options of available Sundays that would work for them. Then it’s just a matter of working out a day that suits your godparents and yourself.
If after all this you’ve decided that you’d rather wait to baptise your child some churches offer a small thanksgiving service or similar for your child instead.
Again, it depends on the church.
Do I Need To Attend Church After The Baptism?
The church will definitely want you to keep coming back after your child is baptised. The other members of the church would love to see you back too. The church wants to see you successful in keeping the promises you made at your child’s baptism and wants to help.
Many people find having a faith community around them helpful in raising their child to know Jesus.
The church often views your child as a member of the church if they have been baptised there.
In saying this it may be possible to raise your child to know God outside the church if you have a solid faith. However, there are so many things pulling for our attention in this world so you’ll need to stay focused and constantly remind yourself of God’s promises.
The best and only real way I see this working is if you make bible reading a priority – ask God questions about it as you go and ask him to help you understand it.
I love The Message bible, it’s written like a novel (a really, really long one) but it’s written in everyday language which make it really easy to understand.
It makes it much easier to talk with your child about God and answer their questions if you have spent time digging into the bible yourself.
Even better, combine the two – bible reading at home and church!!!
How To Plan Your Baby's Baptism
Nov 30, 2010 by Nicholas Cole
Baptism is an important milestone in your baby’s spiritual life. And when the planning of your child’s baptism begins, there are, naturally, questions that come up. Maybe this is your first child, and you've never had to prepare for a baby's baptism before. You might be asking yourself: how do I go about this? Who do I talk to, and at which church? Can I pick anyone I want to be the godparents?
We would like to help answer these questions for our readers!
1.
Choose a ChurchThe first important step in planning your baby’s baptism is choosing where your child will be baptized. For those who already belong to a parish, this question is answered. If you are not yet registered at a parish, you’ll want to select one in your area and schedule your child’s baptism. Most likely you will need to attend some preparation classes at your church. This will help you understand how the service will go and also give you a deeper understanding of what the sacrament of Baptism really is.
2. Set a Date
Check with your parish to see what dates are available to have your baby baptized, keeping in mind that preparation classes may take some time to complete, if this is your first child. Baptisms generally take place on Saturdays or Sundays, either during Mass or in the late morning or afternoon after the last Mass. Depending on the number of children being baptized, a baptismal ceremony can last twenty to forty minutes.
3. Ask the Godparents
Choosing godparents is another important step in planning a baptism.
Although it would be wonderful to offer this honor to your best friend, if he or she doesn’t share your religious beliefs or does not meet the qualifications set by the Catholic Church, they shouldn’t be your baby’s godparent. It’s vital to choose godparents who are practicing Catholics, since their role is to help your child live a devout Christian life. Generally, at least one godparent must be a confirmed Catholic in good standing and an active member of a parish.
4. Buy a Gown
Now the most important decisions have been made, you can move on to the fun stuff, such as choosing your baby’s baptismal outfit. Although tradition states that the godmother buys the outfit and the godfather buys the cake, it is perfectly acceptable for you to get your baby’s baptismal gown yourself. This way you can find a gown that you would love to see passed on. Also, consider getting a more casual outfit for after the ceremony. You'll want the heirloom gown to be kept clean!
Any questions?
If you have specific questions about your child's baptism, or any questions regarding the requirements for baptism, contact your priest or your local parish office.
While the sacrament is the same in any Catholic church, certain requirements and preparations may vary from one parish to another.
This article has been updated and was originally published in December 2010 © The Catholic Company
How to baptize a child in the Orthodox Church: step by step instructions
see also
Two mobilized were married to their wives in the church at NVVKU
Each church has its own rules for conducting the sacrament of baptism. Some godparents will need to pass a preliminary interview with a priest. You can come somewhere by agreeing on the time of the ceremony by phone. There are churches where a price list for services is set, somewhere you will be asked to simply donate "to the temple", no matter how much you feel sorry for it. If you don’t have money, then, most likely, they will meet you halfway and baptize the child for free.
Still, there are a few rules that everyone who plans to be baptized must follow:
1. Decide on a godfather (grandparent) for the child.
Godparents are needed only for children under 12-14 years old - on the websites of different churches, data on the upper age limit diverge.
According to church traditions, the godmother should be a woman, and for a boy, a man. But this is not an iron rule, and you can deviate from it. It will not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a godfather of the opposite sex. The main thing is that it should be a believing, church-going person.
Often, parishioners choose both godparents for the child: both the father and the mother. But it is important that they do not have to be husband and wife to each other - neither now nor in the future. To become godparents for children, including their relatives - grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts.
But a mother - native or adoptive - cannot be a godmother for her child.
In addition, it is undesirable to take minors as godparents.
“If a person has not yet reached the age of majority, then his age should be such that he can realize the full burden of the responsibility he has taken on and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather,” notes Priest Dionisy Svechnikov (quote from the website of the Novosibirsk church of Oleg Bryansky).
Adults don't need receivers.
2. Select a temple.
Call or come by. Find out when the rite of baptism is performed and when you can talk with the priest.
You can baptize a child absolutely on any day, including during Lent. There are no restrictions in this matter. It all depends only on the specific church, which may not hold this sacrament on any given day for organizational or technical reasons.
3. Meet with the priest.
Answer all the questions he asks you. Ask your questions.
There are no special rules for preparing godparents for the ceremony. But at some churches, special talks are held to explain to a person the provisions of the Orthodox faith. Some priests recommend a three-day fast, confession and communion before the sacrament.
It is possible that the godmother or godfather will need to know the "Symbol of Faith" prayer. It is pronounced three times in the course of the ceremony and may be asked to read the recipient.
4. Choose the name that the child will receive at baptism.
The priest will help you in this matter. Not all modern names are in the calendar. Therefore, Alina, who is not in the calendar, can be called Angelina or Galina, and Yegor - George.
Photo: Pavel Komarov, nsknews.info
5. Prepare everything needed for baptism.
This is a cross, a towel and a baptismal shirt, which gives access to the chest, arms and legs of the baby for chrismation.
There is a tradition according to which the godfather takes upon himself the payment of the sacrament itself and the purchase of a pectoral cross for the boy. The godmother buys a cross for the girl and brings other things necessary for the ceremony. But these rules are not binding.
If you bought a cross or a chain not in a church shop, but in a jewelry store, then they need to be consecrated. To do this, it is enough to contact the priest before baptism.
6. Come to church for the sacrament.
The ceremony will take about an hour. After baptism, parents will be given a certificate in which the name of the child and the date of the ceremony will be recorded.
7. Celebrate a happy event with family and friends.
The main thing, the priests say, is not to forget what the holiday is about.
What exactly to give a child for baptism, the church does not give advice.
“This issue does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But I think that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and soulful things, so acquiring a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty, ”priest Dionisy Svechnikov notes .
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how it goes, how much it costs, what is needed according to the rules of the church
Being baptized, a person is, as it were, born again and begins a spiritual life - this is how it is considered in Orthodoxy.
How to baptize a child in a church? Read in our material
Polina Romanova
Journalist
Archimandrite Philip
Press Secretary of the Svytvkarskaya
and the Komi-Zaryanskhad Directory
, after the baptism of the new world, open up to the new world. He receives other rights, but at the same time bears responsibility for this. Now, through the Sacrament of Communion, he unites with God, his life does not end with physical death. He is eternal in the spiritual world. This is one of the main meanings of the Sacrament of Baptism.
- But they are not free from original sin - the inheritance of the act of Adam and Eve, - explains the press secretary of the Syktyvkar and Komi-Zyryansk diocese, Archimandrite Philip (Filippov) . - Before baptism, babies are deprived of many opportunities: they cannot receive communion, celebrate Angel Day, which they simply do not yet have, they cannot be prayed for in the Church - only at home.
In any case, the choice of the timing of Baptism remains with the parents. It is for parents, and not for grandparents and other relatives, friends and sympathizers.
In favor of early baptism, the clergyman cites a well-known quotation from St. Gregory of Nyssa's work with the telling title “Against Those Who Postpone Baptism”: “Protect yourself from impermanence and the uncertainty of life. Do not bargain with grace, so as not to lose the gift.
And since, from the point of view of Orthodoxy, it is better not to delay this, then a child can be baptized on any day of the week, regardless of the time of day, just like an adult. Better late than never - that's about baptism too.
Godfather and godmother
The godparents of a newly converted Christian actually become his second parents.
Now the responsibility for the spiritual and moral life of their child before God lies with both biological and spiritual fathers-mothers. Therefore, the choice of godparents should be taken seriously. They are better not to "appoint" frivolous people, even if they are childhood friends and just sociable guys. Also, you should not agree to a flattering offer to become a godfather or a godmother, if Sunday morning sleep is more expensive for you than the communion of a little ward and in general you are still far from the church. When becoming a godfather or godmother of a charming baby, one should not forget that very soon he will become a rebellious teenager, and it is you, in alliance with your parents, who will have to protect him from worldly temptations.
- Godparents are fully responsible for the godchild until he reaches the age of 18. Then, as a Christian, he is responsible for himself before God. Orthodox upbringing and education is the work of godparents, and it is good when this happens in alliance with biological parents.
This concern includes home education, attendance at liturgies, and other spiritual duties, - explains Archimandrite Philip .
During the baptism itself, it is the godparents who aloud renounce Satan for the baby and unite with Christ and receive their child from the hands of the priest from the font. During the sacrament, the godparents often hold the child in their arms - unless, of course, he himself does not mind. If it was not possible to find both godparents at once, then the boy needs a godfather mentor, and the girl needs a godmother mentor. By the way, godfather and godmother cannot be husband and wife.
Interesting
Godmother for a child
If you are called to be a godmother, then the parents of your future godson or goddaughter trust you and respect you. What do you need to know in order to decide to become a godmother or refuse this offer?
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How to prepare for the child’s baptism
Baptismal "accessories" will be required, and in some churches you will have to attend special talks on the topic of baptism.
What do you need? First, the cross. It doesn't matter what it will be kept on around the neck: on a simple braid or a gold chain. Secondly, a baptismal shirt - you can buy it or sew it yourself. In fact, as Fr. Philip, this is not a mandatory attribute of baptism, it's just accepted in church tradition. A clean light undershirt or dress will be enough. Thirdly, candles. They can be purchased before the Sacrament is performed in the temple where it will take place. They will be needed to participate in the procession during the sacrament. Fourthly, the towel is not a small waffle, but a large bath towel.
It is also worth thinking about what to dress your baby in. It is better to refuse sliders. A sandbag or panties "without legs" are ideal: there are moments in the sacrament when the baby's legs should be bare.
How a child is baptized
Baptism can be chamber and collective. Especially many people who are being baptized gather in the church on the feast of the Epiphany on January 19th.
But for the relatives of the baby, this is one of the most important events in life, therefore, as a rule, the day of the baptism of the child is agreed in advance, and it takes place in a chamber - only for this little Christian.
Before the start of the Sacrament, the priest will explain to everyone their role and place in the church: godparents or parents with the person responsible for the event in their arms, grandmothers, sister-brothers and other relatives.
Baptism begins with naming prayers, by which the baptized are given their Christian names. From this moment on, the baby acquires a heavenly patron and protector in the form of a Guardian Angel. If there is no name in the calendar that the baby was named at birth, he receives a new one - a church one. So, Elvira can become Emilia, Yana - Joanna, Adele - Aglaya.
Next comes the time of the exorcism of the devil. The method of exile is the reading of the four prohibition prayers. In them, the evil one is forbidden to deal with a newly converted Christian.
As a sign of this, the priest turns to those being baptized and blows crosswise three times in the face of each, pronouncing the corresponding words of the spell.
Now the sacrament participants turn their faces to the west - as a rule, this is the exit from the temple, and the priest begins to ask questions that should be answered loudly, clearly and preferably in unison. Batiushka asks three times twice about whether those who have come renounce Satan, to which, of course, they answer in the affirmative: “I renounce.”
In addition to verbal renunciation of the evil one, participants in the sacrament confirm this by action. After the priest's words: "Blow and spit on him," they do it literally. In insulting the demon, the Orthodox, as it were, categorically declares: I have nothing in common with you, Satan, I spit on you and will do this all my life.
Having renounced Satan, the Orthodox unites with Christ. To do this, everyone returns to their original position facing east: with their backs to the entrance, and facing the altar, and again answer the questions of the priest.
Several times, with the help of questions, he clarifies the consciousness of the intentions of the parents and godparents of the child, who again respond with prepared formulations. If someone, after the categorical conversation, forgot them, the priest will tell you. Here comes the turn of the godparents. Some of them will have to read the main covenant of a Christian - the Symbol of the Orthodox Faith. And preferably by heart.
- A creed is a set of basic doctrinal truths or dogmas, which briefly states what we Christians believe. If none of those who came by heart knows the Creed, the priest himself can read it, and the rest will try to understand at least something. Ideally, every Christian should not only know it by heart, but also be able to comment on each line. This is usually the first assignment in Christian self-education. It is easy to find the Symbol of Faith, it is in any Prayer Book or in a book that is simply necessary for everyone and which is called very familiarly: “The Law of God,” explains Archimandrite Philip.
After reading the Creed, the priest reminds the participants of the baptism how to properly make the sign of the cross and bow.
- When making the sign of the cross, the fingers must be folded in a certain way, “pinch”: the thumb, index and middle fingers together, which means our faith in the Trinity, the ring and little fingers are pressed to the palm - as a sign that Christ was both God and Man . We overshadow ourselves with them like this: on the forehead, on the stomach, on the right shoulder and on the left, then a small bow. We, as it were, invoke the sanctification of God on all our thoughts, feelings and actions. And we are baptized from right to left in honor of the prudent thief, who was crucified on the right hand of Christ and did not swear at Him together with everyone, but simply quietly asked the Lord to remember him in the Kingdom of Heaven, - explains the priest.
Now comes the most important thing. Baptism is impossible without water, since Christ himself was baptized in the waters of the Jordan River.
That is why on the Epiphany, despite any frosts, the Russians tend to the font and the hole. The priest blesses the water for the baptism of the child, either right during the sacrament, or, usually, in advance. Don't worry about the baby getting cold: the water for baby baptism is always warm. Before immersion, the priest will anoint the baby with oil, which symbolizes the Grace of God - the forehead, chest, ears, arms and legs. After this, the child is immersed in water three times. Some kids are scared, but someone, on the contrary, likes it. The reaction of the baby during baptism will be the subject of conversation and memories for years to come.
Ideally, a child should be baptized in the first days of life. Photo: Andrey KARA
Now the baby is rightfully considered Orthodox, and a cross is put on him. It is no coincidence that the cross is called wearable, it is not worn over clothes, as an ornament, it should be literally on the body.
The sacrament of the baptism of a child can be called a double one, because in its process one more is performed. Like baptism, it happens only once in a person's life. This is the sacrament of Confirmation.
- In this Sacrament, a person is given the grace-filled Gifts of the Holy Spirit to lead the Christian life, - Fr. Philip. - For the second time in their lives, they are anointed only when they are ordained as bishops, and earlier - when they enter the royal throne, hence the expression "anointed to the kingdom." As with oil, the priest will anoint the child's forehead, chest, lips, eyes, nose, ears, arms and legs.
After all this, it's time for the procession - a very small one - around the font where the baptism took place. This is where the candles prepared in advance are lit. Usually at this time, everyone is in high spirits, many willingly respond to the father's call to sing along with the choristers. After that, the Holy Scriptures are read, and the priest prays for the godparents and their godson or goddaughter.
Immediately after Baptism and Chrismation, the priest carefully cuts off a small strand of hair with small scissors. This is the first grateful sacrifice of a newly converted Christian to the Creator.
The baby's baptism is almost over. It remains only to read the prayers of churching, and for boys this is done in the most holy place of the temple - the altar. Girls, like women, are not allowed there, so prayers are read to them in front of the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos.
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Popular issues and popular popular issues answers
How much does it “cost” to baptize a child?
To name the “cost” of the sacrament, like any other attribute purchased in a church shop, is not entirely correct.
This concept is replaced in the temple by the word "donation". Its size is determined in each church in its own way. The baptism of a child is a priceless gift from above, and it cannot be valued in principle. But in order to accomplish it, it is necessary to spend electricity, water, attract people to prepare the temple, invite singers. The donation made by a Christian is a sign of respect for the work of all these people and the needs of the temple.
Is there a difference in the baptism of a girl and a boy?
There is no difference between the Baptism of a boy and a girl, except for the final "chord" when the boy is brought to the altar and the girl is left outside.
How to choose a place for baptism?
Sometimes parents want to baptize their child in a specific church: in an old church in a distant village or a church near their home.
Actually, there is no difference. The grace of God through the performance of the sacrament of baptism is so strong that in some cases it can be performed even at home. It is no coincidence that if a child is sick or weak at birth, a priest can perform the sacrament even in a hospital.
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4 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 9014 90AL whether to take pictures during the sacrament?
Capturing one of the main events in a person's life is not prohibited in the temple. On the contrary, for the rest of your life you will have memories of the most important day in earthly life. But it’s better to take the priest’s blessing for this - just ask permission.
By the way, the best position for shooting, as Fr. Philip, - in front of the priest and a little to the side, then you can choose the most successful angle for the main points.
Problems with filming may arise during a general baptism - inadvertently, you can violate the law "On the Protection of Personal Data".
Why do we need lectures before baptism?
Parents who are about to baptize a baby are often perplexed: why attend special classes or catechumens before the sacrament, which have now become obligatory in many churches. Somewhere they limit themselves to a short conversation, somewhere they offer a series of lectures. All this is being done with the only good goal - to enlighten the Orthodox, their parents and godparents, to explain to them the meaning of the sacrament and the foundation of the faith they have chosen, to tell them about what awaits them in a new spiritual life. The goal is awareness.
