For the Mom Who Can’t Help but Compare

Dear Mom Who Likes to Compare,

Please don’t.

Your yoga pants should not be compared to my boyfriend jeans.

Your crumb-ridden floor mats should not be compared to my sticky pleather steering wheel.

Your child and how you choose to raise him or her should not be compared to my child and how I choose to raise him or her.

I know it’s tempting, but please don’t. Just don’t do it.

Sincerely,

A Fellow Mom in the Trenches

As the calendar moves ever closer to the end of October, little whispers of mama wars hath begun to circulate yet again.

For the moment, it’s all about Halloween and trick-or-treating (though I expect the attitudes will be much the same but with a different subject matter next month).

Those who do. And those who don’t. And those who don’t care whose feelings they hurt, but they’re convinced their way is the right way. And not only the right way, but the only way.

To partake. Or to avoid. That is the question of the hour.

To support a fellow sister. Or to leave her in the dust.

Honestly, sweet mamas, this kind of thing breaks my heart. Where is the grace? Where is the love?

I usually try to stay out of such controversial conversations, but this is a topic which must be addressed.

This is more than merely the need for a simple Halloween Makeover. This is the desperate cry for FRIENDSHIP REVOLUTION.

For diversity in fellowship can be a beautiful thing.

Variety in friendship can be a gloriously exquisite thing.

I know it’s hard. Sometimes we get so caught up in how we want to do things, we fail to remember that others may have a different opinion. We forget that it is possible to nod our heads as a way to show understanding without nodding our heads in agreement.

There are so many things we can do to STRENGTHEN our friendships.

We can listen before speaking.

We can pause before judging.

We can cheer another on even if what they’re doing is not our particular gift or talent.

We can find common ground without being cookie-cutter versions of one another.

We can create safe harbors rather than stir up stormy waters.

We can honor differences. And celebrate similarities.

We can pray for our fellow mom instead of picking her apart.

We can build one another up and refuse to tear down.

For we are no worse. And no better.

We are all daughters of the King. Chosen. Holy. Beloved.

Let’s act like royalty and extend a noble hand of grace to our royal sisters.

In love. Because of friendship.

For after all, we’re in this thing of motherhood together.

And together is a courageous and powerful place to be.

Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What? You too?” (C. S. Lewis)

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Anne-Renee Gumley

Anne-Renee is a full-time mom who works part-time at her family's party store. She has two children who keep her laughing, a husband who keeps her smiling, and an itch for writing that just won't go away.
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